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Überschall
08-17-2008, 05:15 PM
Yeah. It's actually only one poem, actually.

Here's the German original:


Die Engel stehn, in ihrer kluft
doch einer fällt hoch aus der Luft
die Flügel reissen hart am Wind
es fällt zu tief, des Himmels Kind.

Es sieht sich um, doch sieht es nichts
der Himmel lässt es doch im Stich.
Die letzten Tränen fallem weich
die fall wird schneller, es fällt leicht.

Es landet ohne gleichgewicht
die Sonne scheint ihm ins Gesicht
Gebrochen, einsam liegt sie da
was einst ein stolzer Engel war.

Wandert unter Menschenseelen
nur die Flügel, die ihr fehlen
des Himmels antlitz wahrt sie stets
des Himmels Schönheit, wie sie geht.

Wo sie auch ist, ich kann sie spüren
Des Himmels Pracht kann ich berühren
Der Engel, er hat einen Namen
Du bist es - in meinen Armen


Sort of like Rammstein lyrics, ain't it? Here's the english translation:


A band of angels standing high
one shatters, tumbles from the sky
his wings are torn from winds too wild
it's falling deep, this heaven's child

It's looking round, but spotting none
heaven's guiding hand is gone
the final tears are floating way
it's falling faster down it's way.

It shatters, hitting mortal's space
the sun is shining in it's face
the world seems cold, so lost inside
the angel's found no place to hide.

Wandering under human kind
it's just the winds left far behind
heaven's face is still on her
heaven's beauty, everywhere.

Where she may be, I feel her still
I'm touching heaven's might at will
the angel, yes, it had a name
It's you - the love I still acclaim



For my girlfriend, yeah.

Deadface.
08-17-2008, 05:44 PM
Awesome. It rhymes in English and German.

I don't think I could ever write poems for a girl, but that's a pretty good one.

alive
08-17-2008, 06:13 PM
I don't understand the German one, but I liked the translated version. Translating poems are often really hard without killing them. My girlfriend asked me to write her a really cheesy good bye poem, so I'm working on that..

MadHatter
08-17-2008, 06:22 PM
You're definitely getting some head for that poem ;)


It's pretty good. I'm surprised that it rhymed in english and german.

Überschall
08-17-2008, 06:30 PM
Awesome. It rhymes in English and German.

I don't think I could ever write poems for a girl, but that's a pretty good one.

Thanks. Yeah, I didn't translate it too literally but I kept the meaning of it, still it was my goal to make it rhyme in both languages.


I don't understand the German one, but I liked the translated version. Translating poems are often really hard without killing them. My girlfriend asked me to write her a really cheesy good bye poem, so I'm working on that..

Thanks.


You're definitely getting some head for that poem ;).

It might get me a little closer to getting head while chatting on IRC.

MadHatter
08-17-2008, 06:36 PM
Getting head while doing anything on a computer or video game consol would be ****ing awesome.

ThatGuy
08-17-2008, 07:41 PM
Dag, yo

Kitsune
08-18-2008, 04:33 AM
Nice poem. I like the German part being all German.

zawmbee
08-18-2008, 06:59 AM
aww you shouldn't have <3
yeah, its really godly, as someone said, i liked how the german seemed to rhym aswell, great flow.
good work.

Kero
08-18-2008, 10:53 AM
That's some pretty sweet poem there.
Rhymes in both languages, too. Good +10, that should get your girlfriend going....

Mantha
08-18-2008, 11:04 AM
Wow, that's awesome. Best poem I've read in a while.

Will you compose the music for it too?

Überschall
08-18-2008, 11:07 AM
Wow, that's awesome. Best poem I've read in a while.

Will you compose the music for it too?

Thanks.

I'm not sure. It might be a little tricky to get a fitting musical background for it, so it's rather probable I'll just leave it as a poem the way it is.

Slayer
08-19-2008, 06:28 AM
Wow, I really liked it. Especially the first paragraph.

Myself
08-19-2008, 06:33 AM
I'm stealing this k.

Überschall
08-19-2008, 06:38 AM
I'm stealing this k.

no >:Ü .

Deadface.
08-19-2008, 07:22 PM
What if I some how came up with music for it?

MoD
08-20-2008, 03:04 AM
Woah! Most totally excellent dude!

Überschall
08-22-2008, 05:06 PM
ALRIGHT ACHTUNG


Dein Atem zittert
kalt wie Eis
Und dauernd schließt der letzte Kreis
ein Band aus allem, das nicht war
doch stehst du nie alleine da.

Die Hände ringen
ohne Kraft
zu lang hast du schon nicht gelacht
ein Kreis aus allem das verging
Doch ich bleib, was ich immer bin.

Die Nacht ist kalt
die Zeit zersetzt
so einsam durch den Wind gehetzt
ziehn dunkle schwaden in die weite
Ich bleibe doch an deiner seite

Die Liebe bricht
das schwere Eis
Das eine feuer, es bleibt heiss
ich steh bei dir mit warmen Händen
Ich will nur in Liebe enden

Dein Kopf steht müde
sinkt herab
ich halte dich, die Zeit wird knapp
Ein Kuss auf deinen warmen Mund
Ein Leben nur für diesen Grund

Dein Atem zittert
kalt wie Eis
Ich halt ihn fest, den letzten Kreis
was auch passiert, ich bin bei dir
Die Liebe hält dich fest bei mir.


ENGLISH COCKSUCKER


Your breath is freezing,
cold as ice
but yet, no final curtain flies
a band of everything that's gone
but we'll just keep to get along

The hands are struggling
force there's none
your final laugh as long been gone
a line of everything gone by
I'll keep on staying by your side.

The night is old
the times have crushed
breaking cold winds in a rush
darkness keeps to roam the land
I'm still something something that will stand.

Love will melt
the ice and lead
a fire, always spending heat
With my hands, I'm holding you
for every single kiss will do

Your heads so heavy
sinking low
I'm holding on, the time's grown old
I kiss your serene lips again
Love still is your only friend

Your breath is freezing
cold as ice
I'm killing dead the bitter lies
whatever comes, our love will be
'cause love's been always here with me.



You better comment.

Krob
08-22-2008, 05:45 PM
I like .

"Love will melt
the ice and lead
a fire, always spending heat
With my hands, I'm holding you
for every single kiss will do"


That's deep yo ^ .

Überschall
08-22-2008, 06:35 PM
Thanks.
I don't like that one as much as the first one. Well, I like the German one better than the first one, but the translation was a lot harder with this different kind of meter.

Krob
08-22-2008, 06:41 PM
Where at in Germany are you?

Überschall
08-22-2008, 06:48 PM
A village in Lower Saxony, about 50 miles away from Bremen, rather close to Bremerhaven.

Krob
08-22-2008, 08:56 PM
Oh that's cool. Know any Funderburks? Surname I mean.

Myself
08-23-2008, 03:20 AM
Awesome. It rhymes in English and German.



Most things do. German and english arn't that different.

Überschall
08-23-2008, 06:40 AM
Oh that's cool. Know any Funderburks? Surname I mean.

Nope, never heard of that.


Yeah, German and English are pretty similar. That's one reason why I found it so easy to learn. But in a poem, you need the meaning, the rhythm and the rhyming to fit, and that can be a little tricky. It'd be way harder with other languages, though. But not french, everything rhymes there >:O

Überschall
08-23-2008, 09:33 PM
Die Liebe kann schweigen
sie lernt erst reden
Doch stumm zieht sie schon alle Fäden.

Your touch is still sacred
I'm holding your hand
a one-way ticket to wonderland.

Alles was atmet
vereinigt in dir
Geschlossene Fenster, verriegelte Tür.

No time to whisper
I'll just shout it out
Sprawling emotions are all it's about.

Die Sonne scheint Leise
die Liebe spring weit
Zu wenig zum denken, wir ham' nicht viel Zeit.

Depending on silence
in love with your eyes
One of those nights we'll be up in the skies.
Wenn alles nichts Wert ist
die Welt mich zerbricht
Wenn alles schon Still ist, dann brauche ich dich

As silver as moonlight
as gold as the sun
No way to describe it, let's leave out the pun.

Ein schrei geht im Winde
die Nacht leuchtet hell
In Liebe versunken, du denkst viel zu schnell.



Yay for mixed languages in one single poem.

Bonk
08-24-2008, 06:15 AM
The pun line was weak, but the rhymes were mostly sensible and good. By the way, you spell it "skies".

Überschall
08-24-2008, 06:21 AM
Yeah, I couldn't come up with anything better for the ****ing hell of it.

Saha
08-24-2008, 06:37 AM
That was freaking awesome. I really really loved it. I'll love it even more if you stop bugging me <3

shadowxiao
08-25-2008, 06:58 PM
You've definitely got a way with words. Keep up the good work :D

Überschall
08-26-2008, 04:06 PM
**** me. I love her.


Ein Schatten fällt in weichem Licht
Du stehst im Weg, ich seh in nicht
Ein greller Strahl aus weissem Schein
Der Traum von dir ist nie allein.

Die Sonne legt sich auf den Tag
Gedanken, die ich in mir trag
Ein rotes Lichtspiel trägt den Wind
Mich kümmert's nicht, denn ich bin blind.

Blind aus Liebe, blind vom Licht
das sanft aus deinen Augen sticht
Kein Spiegel bricht es jetzt entzwei
Der Traum von dir ist endlich frei.


Die Kerze brennt, sie brennt noch heller
die Sonne scheint, sie scheint noch greller
Jedes Schimmern, jeder Blick
Zeigt mir, ich will nie zurück.

Man blickt nicht rückwärts, wenn man rennt
denn dort ist, was wie Feuer brennt
Ich lauf mit dir, in Schattenspielen
Für einen Tag, auf den wir zielen.

Den Tag an dem die Sonne steht
weil unsre Liebe nie vergeht.
Die Wolken brechen langsam auf
doch weil ich nie alleine lauf
scheint die Sonne, Tag und nacht
Ich denk an dich, der Himmel lacht.


ENGLISH VERSION:

A shadow's sweeping through the day
I couldn't tell, you're in the way.
A dazzling hit of radiance
The dream of you is in my hands.

The sun lays heavy on the earth
Thoughts of you are always worth
A game of lights, one of a kind
I just don't care, for I am blind.

Blind from love and blind from shining
that's glowing from your eyes, defining
what mirrors of no kind retract
The dream of you, will be intact.

The candle burns, it's burning rapid
the sun still shines, it shines so vapid
But every shimmer, every sign
Never, you'd get left behind.

You don't look backwards, on the run
'cause hell will wait there, burning on
I run with you, where shadows fumble
Take my hand, we wouldn't tumble.

Until the day, that sun's warmed up
of running, we'll have had enough
our love will shine on, anyday
'cause yoU're still going down my way,
the sun will shine all day and night
I think of you, the sky turns bright.


Just fucking comment.

LakE
08-26-2008, 04:23 PM
I envy your poem writing skills, to be honest. This is brilliant along with the rest. Still, the first was absouletely amazing, the best.

Good work.

zawmbee
08-26-2008, 05:15 PM
Why would you post this on stickpage?
Find a writing forum, now.
>:c

Chunky
08-28-2008, 12:39 PM
I don't enjoy poems but I know how hard they are to write, its hard to keep that little voice in your head quiet that says that this is stupid.

Überschall
08-30-2008, 09:25 PM
Why would you post this on stickpage?
Find a writing forum, now.
>:c

I am in one, but I get even less comments there.


A new one, fun one, out of boredome:


Dude, slow down, where do you head?
Everything's already said
The world awaits the other way
No time to wait
or hesitate
This really ain't no place to stay.

Knock it off man, this is dumb
Until you're done, your hand is numb
Take that hand away from there
No time to touch
your dick so much
You really wouldn't go somewhere.

Just turn around, and leave the car
And take that stuff out of that jar
She cares not who the fuck you'd be
She hates you so
You wouldn't go
Time won't heal this, you will see

Take those camera's off her bead
and aim them to yourself instead
You'd earn some money, I can tell
Money on the internet
Money couldn't smell so bad
Fat-men fetish sure is swell.

A thousand and a million ways
To tell a woman, what you say
You had to pick the worst one out
Deep in wait
before her gate
Oh fuck, the cops, don't make a sound.

sheezy2
08-30-2008, 11:37 PM
haha, nice one schall. you really have some kickass talent, keep it up.

Überschall
01-27-2009, 02:21 PM
Oh wow:



Das Wasser in Ferne
liegt hinter mir
Oh tiefblaue Blume
ich bleib bei dir.
Dein Blick spricht so deutlich,
verzaubert mich.
Worte
sind überflüssig.

Du weißt zu berühren
wie alles glänzt
Mein Herz schreit nach deinem
an dem es hängt.
Oh du, Blaue Blume,
es sehnt mich nach dir.
Liebe
ist unser Mittelpunkt.

Der Schatz deiner Augen
alles für mich
er heilt unsre Flügel
dann trage ich dich.
Wie Eisvögel fliegen
das werden wir.
Du wunderschöne,
so tiefblaue Blume
wie ich mich sehne
gehöre ich dir. ♥


The castaway waters
are way behind
oh shaded blue flower
I now am thine.
You look at me open
it sets me free.
Words
are redundant.

You know how to touch
to make it glow
Your heart is my shelter
that makes me grow.
Oh you, Blue Flower,
I'm aching for you.
Love
is our vital sign.

The treasure's your eyes
it's all I see
You're soothing my pain
whilst you carry me.
We'll fly like the angels
trust me true.
You wonderous Blue Flower
I belong to you. ♥

Mantha
01-27-2009, 02:25 PM
You should have been born in year 1800.

LakE
01-27-2009, 03:36 PM
The new one went in perfectly with the music I was listening to.

Anyway, it's brilliant. I still love the first one so ****ing much.

Schwa
01-27-2009, 05:47 PM
You should have been born in year 1800.

Nah, his poems are too straightforward for the 1800's.

Just saying.

Mantha
01-27-2009, 06:26 PM
From what I've learned of the Romantics era, he would fit imo.