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Gyohdon
08-29-2008, 02:56 PM
Well, I've been doing this book for a long time now. I always have all these crazy ideas for games and movies and all kinds of stories (Which is the main reason I came to this forum. To learn how to animate, so I could make 'movies'). Well, this one is my very first big idea. I've had it since I was 10, I'm 15 now, and I've started writing a book when I was 12. Which failed, especially when I deleted the file (Damn this computer), but now I've started it again. A bit different though, but you don't know that, so without further ado, I present to you the beginning of my book:



It was still dark outside when Kyle turned off his iPod. He looked at his alarm clock to see what time it was. He was caught by surprise as there were no numbers on the clock. What he saw looked like figures of a plane, a flame and a building. Suddenly he heard the most terryfying noise of all. It almost sounded like a scream of some sort but quickly he realized that it was from a plane. He jumped out of bed, rushed towards his curtains and opened them so hard that he ended up standing there with pieces of cloth in his hands, stunned by the sight. What he saw, was a brownish plane flying towards his house. ‘NO!’, he screamed of fear, tears falling from his face.

Kyle opened his eyes. He was laying on his back. Was he dead? He looked to the right. Oh, a wall. He quickly turned his head to the left. A pretty small room. Next to his bed was a rather large night table, with a glass of water, a bedlight and an alarm clock on top of it. Ten past six in the morning, it said. Next to the night table, was a small, two and a half feet wide, darkred desk, with a darkred wooden chair next to it. He got up to turn on his light and saw the rest of his room. His room. He was nowhere else, but home. ‘So I’m not dead’, he whispered, while discovering he still had his iPod in. He turned it off and placed it on his night table. He suddenly heared a loud, purring noise. ‘Good morning!’, he said to the cat next to his bed. It got up, happy that it was being petted, began stretching and jumped on the bed, only to continue his sleeping, but now next to his sleepy owner. ‘Ah, just great. Only another four hours ‘till mom wakes up’.



Does it interest you?
Am I a good writer?

Please give me some CC on writing a book.

zawmbee
08-29-2008, 02:56 PM
Said this before...find a writing forum.
tl;dr.
sorry >_>

Gyohdon
08-29-2008, 03:24 PM
Said this before...find a writing forum.
tl;dr.
sorry >_>

I'm sorry, but I don't understand that post.
I've never spoken to you.
And what's tl;dr?

Krytical
08-29-2008, 03:32 PM
Should type it like so.

...up standing there with pieces of cloth in his hands, stunned by the sight. What he saw, was a brownish plane flying towards his house.

"NO!", he screamed of fear, tears falling from his face.

Next para...

Otherwise its good for a 15 year old. Just need to increase your vocab and write the storyline before writing the actual story.

Gyohdon
08-29-2008, 03:39 PM
I have the storyline for 6 whole books

-.-

If you've read, you'd know that:
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR FIVE YEARS!

Kitsune
08-29-2008, 07:47 PM
I respect that you're going very far with this. I think the first book is the hardest to write. I don't have any experience, but I think that would be accurate. Never write as fast as you would read it.

Good luck. I, and many other kids, and teens, have tried writing a book multiple times, and didn't have the patience. Get the first done, and the rest, you can think, are far more than feasible.


I have the storyline for 6 whole books

-.-

If you've read, you'd know that:
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR FIVE YEARS!
The planning Period is the easiest part. Don't think writing it will be just as easy.

Should type it like so.

...up standing there with pieces of cloth in his hands, stunned by the sight. What he saw, was a brownish plane flying towards his house.

"NO!", he screamed of fear, tears falling from his face.

Next para...

Otherwise its good for a 15 year old. Just need to increase your vocab and write the storyline before writing the actual story.
Or you could let him write in hos own style, like an actual author, and not take the advice of some kid on the internet who thinks he knows what he's talking about...

I'm sorry, but I don't understand that post.
I've never spoken to you.
And what's tl;dr?
tl;dr=too long; didn't read

Said this before...find a writing forum.
tl;dr.
sorry >_>
gtfo then. This is a literature forum.

LakE
08-29-2008, 08:16 PM
I was writing something a few weeks ago which I've given up on but I could think of some things.

Since this is only a very short preview it's hard to tell, in my opinion.
But, giving short thoughts of his, what runs through his head as he see's the plane? It'll make the character seem more realistic, some people could relate to his thoughts and it will just make things interesting. Try including that. It may involve a mixing of tense, which could ruin the book in a way but to know what the character is thinking is always a nice touch.
Try using a twist on words. Say you have a sentence like "Kyle kicked the chair" Mix it around, taking the last word first, along those lines.
So, it would be something like "The chair lunged across the room after Kyle kicked it".
Make sure to do things like that alot, it'll keep a nice flow and variety.
Inserts smilies if you're finding things hard to describe.

Just keep at it. Don't over-do it though.
I should get to work on mine again.

Gyohdon
08-30-2008, 12:30 PM
I was writing something a few weeks ago which I've given up on but I could think of some things.
OK =D

Since this is only a very short preview it's hard to tell, in my opinion.
Sorry, but I'd be giving away too much xD

But, giving short thoughts of his, what runs through his head as he see's the plane? It'll make the character seem more realistic, some people could relate to his thoughts and it will just make things interesting. Try including that.
Yeah, sounds good, but I was aiming for something you'd through fast, as it was only a dream. Well, nightmare.

It may involve a mixing of tense, which could ruin the book in a way but to know what the character is thinking is always a nice touch.
Yup, thanks

Try using a twist on words. Say you have a sentence like "Kyle kicked the chair" Mix it around, taking the last word first, along those lines.
So, it would be something like "The chair lunged across the room after Kyle kicked it".
That's the one thing a book can't miss. These kind of sentences have to be used. But still thanks.

Make sure to do things like that alot, it'll keep a nice flow and variety.
Inserts smilies if you're finding things hard to describe.

Just keep at it. Don't over-do it though.
I should get to work on mine again.
Hell yeah, you give great advice xD


Get to the writing!

Krytical
08-30-2008, 04:21 PM
Or you could let him write in hos own style, like an actual author, and not take the advice of some kid on the internet who thinks he knows what he's talking about...

Moron? What do you mean style? That is the context a novel is supposed to be written like.

LakE
08-30-2008, 04:44 PM
Get to the writing!

Something to go through fast would make the book seem boring, don't leave things simple.
My first chapter is on these forums somewhere, under "A Heartfelt Process" if you wanted to read it. Could give you some ideas, as I know I got my ideas from various things.

Anyway, Good luck on writing.

necros the black
08-31-2008, 01:11 PM
just took a look at this. it's a really good start and i like your style. the only thing, (this might be you doing it on purpose for the start) is you want to learn how to take more time on subject, so the story isn't moving so fast.
if you know that and moved that fast on purpose my apoligies.
like i said thought great start.

Kitsune
08-31-2008, 09:02 PM
Moron? What do you mean style? That is the context a novel is supposed to be written like.
*facepalm*

Seriously. Have fun going into the 3rd grade where every novel is written the same exact way.

That could be possibly the worst thing you could say about literature. You're saying not only every book is written in one uniform fashion, but also you know the equation to novel writing. A style is how one writes. How they use context to form their plot. Faulkner uses Stream of Consciousness, and Alon Paton uses poetic plot. You have no idea what you're talking about, and need to leave now.

necros the black
09-01-2008, 03:42 AM
kitsune owns krytical!

Request
09-01-2008, 01:02 PM
Just by reading the book, I can tell you have no experience with writing.
The book gives off no emotion, when I read it I see that you tried to convey sadness when he cried but it is to monotone, try to add more emotion like.

"NO!" FRUITCAKE screeched, As he stood there watching the plane hurdle through the sky toward his home, the tears rolling down his face.