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-Hawk-
09-08-2008, 11:21 AM
Link : http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/459086

Watch to the end, it gets better.

The battle between Hawk, charged with positive energy and NegaDrain, negative energy and the ability to transform into any element in any shape. Hawk VS NegaDrain started late May 2008 as a SLBG battle. It was not planned to be this long but since NegaDrain created a great character ideas came and with ideas came the miss of the due date and turning this into a personal project.
Special thanks to NegaDrain, SSJBryando and PieR (Voice acting done by PieR), songs from Virtua Tennis 3 soundtrack.

-Hawk-
09-09-2008, 06:19 AM
Comments please ? :|

Tawnik
09-09-2008, 06:25 AM
I already said my comments on yahoo and msn,it was really long animation,movements were a bit off,but the you are improving.Practicing is the best way how to get better :)

And where did you get the Voice actor ??

Lag
09-09-2008, 06:56 AM
It's not bad, but not too good. Is about 6/10 like it is on NG (3/5).

Ok, critique... Your stick figures do not resemble people, especially the feet. Both the parts of the foot, upper and lower are more or less the same size, in some spots the upper part was twice as short as the lower part. Arms are too short. Stick figures are like skeletons, take a pic of a man standing, and "stick-ify" him, without adding the neck, and you have something to make your sticks look like while animating, a reference.

Movement, there wasn't much of it, most of it was motion tweened or whole figures manually moved. Running vaguely resembles the actual running, but it doesn't look like he moves his body, just his legs. And those running steps are too small. You tube helps, watch people running, moving (etc) there, don't search for crap tutorials there.

I also didn't like the constant change in background styles, stick to one.

Well, that's my critique. Just trying to help.
But I like it.

Cizzil
09-09-2008, 07:00 AM
really stiff but the effects weren't terrible

Sunder Forge
09-09-2008, 08:39 PM
I'm not trying to start a fight, but :
It's not bad, but not too good. Is about 6/10 like it is on NG (3/5).

Ok, critique... Your stick figures do not resemble people, especially the feet. Both the parts of the foot, upper and lower are more or less the same size, in some spots the upper part was twice as short as the lower part. Arms are too short.
It's his style, it will change while he progresses.
Stick figures are like skeletons, take a pic of a man standing, and "stick-ify" him, without adding the neck, and you have something to make your sticks look like while animating, a reference.

Movement, there wasn't much of it, most of it was motion tweened or whole figures manually moved. Running vaguely resembles the actual running, but it doesn't look like he moves his body, just his legs. And those running steps are too small. You tube helps, watch people running, moving (etc) there, don't search for crap tutorials there.

I also didn't like the constant change in background styles, stick to one.
What? the different styles was great, it gave it a fresh new feel every room, and showed a cool effect.
Well, that's my critique. Just trying to help.
But I like it.

Anyways, I'm tired so I'll be straight to the point:
- Stiff
- Practice running, walking, movements, making Backgrounds
- The movements had no easing
- The facial close-ups had jagged points, it doesn't look like you had care while making them
- Practice
- Practice particles (alot)
-Learn how to shade in Backgrounds
- Only tween backgrounds, clouds, and few other specific things that do not have easing
- Do not tween eyes, ease them
- The sticks were in weird stances, they didn't look like they should be standing at some points
- Practice
- The stick changed size while turning on the spike, DO NOT CHANGE THE STICK SIZE, just move the body behind the head, and make everything appear shorter, not shrunken (learn perspective) and the turn should of had easing like: ll-l---l------------l---l--l--l-l-lll
- Practice

-Hawk-
09-12-2008, 12:19 PM
Thanks a lot for the comments guys. I'll consider the advice.

Strills
09-12-2008, 03:21 PM
Umm. I think the main problem is that it's hella weird. No thought or whatsoever on the story, or anything similar. I mean. It's random. In a bad way.

The rest is covered.

-Hawk-
09-13-2008, 05:47 AM
It was meant to be a SLBG fight. But I wanted it to be long so I turned it into a personal project. So, yes, basically it has no story.

M3D
09-13-2008, 06:03 AM
Most of the cc has been said.
So all i can say is just Practice your movements more.

Of topic:
In your sig it says you voice act. Was that you in the anim you made?
If so i MIGHT be PM'ing you soon.

poyzd
09-13-2008, 06:40 AM
no, his name isnt pier.
...
it was ok...

M3D
09-13-2008, 06:45 AM
Looks like i wont be PM'ing him then.