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View Full Version : A silly little limerick, by kveyo!!



Kveyo
03-14-2008, 09:31 PM
There once was a cheesy tiger
Who always transformed into a liger
One day he took a blow to the head
Slipped in the rain and ended up dead
Now he's the deadeesy li-tiger

Post your limericks here

A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, originally popularized in English by Edward Lear. Limericks are frequently witty or humorous, and sometimes obscene with humorous intent.

The following example of a limerick is of anonymous origin.

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical,

But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Gavel
03-14-2008, 11:26 PM
Here's one that...you might like.

There once was a man from Peru
Who dreamed he waas eating his shoe

He woke with a fright
In the middle of the night

To find that his dream had come true

pagan
03-16-2008, 06:20 PM
the meter on yours is so ****ing wrong, kveyo. it's horrible overall.

spazz's is better, but the meter on "In the middle of the night" is one syllable too many. also it is a better limerick.

‹berschall
03-16-2008, 06:25 PM
There once was a man who was blind
his girlfriend liked it from behind
one night of all
slipped in the wrong hole
the scream of her blew out his mind


The second line is odd, but with a pronounciation like "His GIRLfriend liked IT from beHIND" it's right.

Deadface.
04-04-2008, 06:05 PM
Fuck yeah, I love limericks. I've been having to write them in my Humanities class and I realized I'm good at it.

Chuck Norris

There once was a man named Chuck Norris,
Who was eating a big bowl of porridge,
When some blonde girl barged in,
So he kicked her in the chin,
Then started bangin' some chick named Deloris.


Zambu the Sloth

There once was a sloth named Zambu,
Who wanted to escape from the zoo,
So he concocted a plan,
Which involved a large fan,
But then he forgot what to do.

Saline
04-26-2008, 12:36 AM
I can't make a lymric you know,
it turns out that I'm rather slow,
but if it comes out right,
i will sleep tonight,
but to bed is to far to go.

Deadface.
04-26-2008, 12:41 AM
There once was a man who was blind
his girlfriend liked it from behind
one night of all
slipped in the wrong hole
the scream of her blew out his mind


The second line is odd, but with a pronounciation like "His GIRLfriend liked IT from beHIND" it's right.

All and hole doesn't really rhyme. Not even as a slant rhyme.

STUFF
04-26-2008, 09:40 AM
Miguel walked down the path
He spied many thugs
Tried hard not to laugh
For the thugs not only hugged
They were ****ing like giraffes

Deadface.
04-26-2008, 01:31 PM
Miguel walked down the path
He spied many thugs
Tried hard not to laugh
For the thugs not only hugged
They were ****ing like giraffes

Wrong order...

Miguel had walked down a path,
He tried as hard as he could not to laugh,
For he spied many thugs,
That not only hugged,
But fucked like fucking giraffes.

?

STUFF
04-26-2008, 04:51 PM
I didn't know they had to rhyme consecutively..my bad lol

Deadface.
04-26-2008, 07:02 PM
I didn't know they had to rhyme consecutively..my bad lol

It's okay, lol. Fix'd though.


GOD. I love limericks.

aquamina
04-27-2008, 10:23 AM
Here's my personal favortie...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He was very proud
As he thought out loud
If my ear was a pussy, I'd **** it.

Jet
04-27-2008, 11:30 AM
that was...ok...but kinda offensive.

Deadface.
04-27-2008, 01:38 PM
that was...ok...but kinda offensive.

Not so much offensive as... Vulgar.

Fringo
04-27-2008, 05:08 PM
There was an old man of Madras,
Whose balls were made of fine brass.
So in stormy weather
They both clanged together,
And sparks flew out of his ass!

STUFF
04-27-2008, 08:07 PM
there was a boy who liked his toy
it made him feel good, it gave him joy
no you sick ****, don't mention his dick
i'll tell you what it is, hurry over here quick
yup you guessed it, it's a fleshlight, oh boy!

Fringo
04-28-2008, 08:04 PM
I sat by the Duchess at tea,
And she asked, 'Do you fart when you pee?"
I said with some wit,
'Do you belch when you shit?'
And felt it was one up for me.

Deadface.
04-28-2008, 08:33 PM
there was a boy who liked his toy
it made him feel good, it gave him joy
no you sick ****, don't mention his dick
i'll tell you what it is, hurry over here quick
yup you guessed it, it's a fleshlight, oh boy!

That's better, but the 3rd and 4th lines aren't in the right meter.

1st Line: 3 emphasized words/syllables
2nd Line: 3 emphasized words/syllables
3rd Line: 2 emphasized words/syllables
4th Line: 2 emphasized words/syllables
5th Line: 3 emphasized words/syllables

There was a BOY who LIKED his TOY,
It made HIM feel GOOD, it gave him JOY,
Don't MENtion his DICK,
I'll TELL you, come here QUICK,
Yup you GUESSED it, it's a FLESHlight, oh BOY!

Fringo's are ok, but he probably just googled them.

Gavel
04-28-2008, 09:12 PM
Fringo's are ok, but he probably just googled them.
http://www.fart-joke.com/pooems.htm

And the meter on that example poem you just made was off.

A B A B A B
A B A B A B
A B A C
A B A C
A B A B A B

Something like that. The first two lines and the last line have to be in the same rhythmic pattern.

Deadface.
04-28-2008, 09:15 PM
http://www.fart-joke.com/pooems.htm

And the meter on that example poem you just made was off.

A B A B A B
A B A B A B
A B A C
A B A C
A B A B A B

Something like that. The first two lines and the last line have to be in the same rhythmic pattern.

I didn't make it. Stuff did. I just tried to make it closer to the meter. If you say some of the shorter words faster, you can make it in meter. It's kind of cramming, but, meh.