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View Full Version : How do you wipe your ass??



▀ub
01-04-2009, 05:57 PM
Standing up or sitting down?

I have always stood up my entire life, but have just realized that some people do it sitting down, what the fuck!?

LakE
01-04-2009, 05:58 PM
Which ever way I feel will get my ass cleaner at the time.

Gray
01-04-2009, 06:02 PM
I don't wipe my ass.

Teh_One
01-04-2009, 07:20 PM
how the **** do you wipe your ass sitting down?

STUFF
01-04-2009, 07:35 PM
PEOPLE STAND UP TO WIPE THEIR ASSES!?!!?

LOL your ****ing asscheeks probably squish the shit juice all over your ****ing ass hahahaha

Deathwish
01-04-2009, 08:13 PM
PEOPLE STAND UP TO WIPE THEIR ASSES!?!!?

LOL your ****ing asscheeks probably squish the shit juice all over your ****ing ass hahahaha

That's why you wipe...

▀ub
01-04-2009, 08:46 PM
PEOPLE STAND UP TO WIPE THEIR ASSES!?!!?

LOL your ****ing asscheeks probably squish the shit juice all over your ****ing ass hahahaha

hahahaha. I stared at your avvy/ sig for a minute and the timing started to get WAY off.

Ampersand
01-04-2009, 09:01 PM
That's why you wipe...

But if you just squat, then it doesn't squish everywhere.

MiniMan
01-04-2009, 09:25 PM
People wipe standing up?

Next you're going to tell me some people still piss with their pants around their ankles.

STUFF
01-04-2009, 09:27 PM
hahahaha. I stared at your avvy/ sig for a minute and the timing started to get WAY off.

Yeah, I've noticed that too haha

And so far, I've noticed that the Americans sided with the sitting and the English has sided with the standing. Standing seems so barbaric to me. If you sit, the shit juices stay where they are, all you do is lift up one side and wipe. If you stand, shit juices gets smooshed and you'd probably have to spread your legs standing up to get to your asshole.

Maybe it's a regional thing.

notmaggot
01-04-2009, 09:46 PM
why the **** would you stand to wipe?

Real
01-04-2009, 10:00 PM
sit 'n' twist is the way to go

2-D
01-04-2009, 10:04 PM
People wipe standing up?

Next you're going to tell me some people still piss with their pants around their ankles.

lol, i remember one time in elementry school, i walked into the bathroom and some kid was in there pissing with his pants at his ankles.

Real
01-04-2009, 10:06 PM
I've definitely seen a full grown man in the bathroom at the urinal with his pants around his ankles.

Slayer
01-05-2009, 03:00 AM
Uh, I don't reach my hand down into the toilet to wipe my ass.

Automaton
01-05-2009, 06:32 PM
I lean forwards and to the side, like so the back of my ass isn't touching the seat, and I can just slide my hand in easily.

I was at my friends house once and i went to the bathroom. There was a mirror half way down the wall, and I said "dude, why've you got a mirror there?!". He then proceeded to tell me it was to see his ass when he wipes it. He the proceeded to pull his pants down and show me how he did so...

Some people are just weird. We were only like 9, but still...

2-D
01-05-2009, 06:48 PM
i bet he jacks off infront of a mirror, too

Automaton
01-05-2009, 07:01 PM
doesn't everyone do that?

Kitsune
01-05-2009, 08:07 PM
Yeah a lot of people do.

I do both. Whichever gets my ass cleaner at the time, sometimes depending on the poop I just gave birth to.

▀ub
01-05-2009, 09:54 PM
poop I just gave birth to.
HAHAHA! !!!

▄berschall
01-05-2009, 10:13 PM
People stand up for that?

You mean, you stand up while your ascheeks smear the shit all around and smoothly slide against each other, lubricated by the shit inbetween them?

That's disgusting.

Slayer
01-05-2009, 10:43 PM
...I guess I don't fully stand up, but it's sort of a bent-over crouch thing.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
01-05-2009, 10:49 PM
People wipe sitting down?

How does that even work...

MiniMan
01-05-2009, 11:09 PM
...I guess I don't fully stand up, but it's sort of a bent-over crouch thing.Ah, yeah that's what I meant. I just lean forward and reach back there.

Speaking of shit I took the kind of shits.

Thought you'd all like to know. ;D Good luck sleeping with that thought in your head.

▀ub
01-05-2009, 11:26 PM
Do you guys look at the paper after you wipe? I always do.

Slayer
01-05-2009, 11:30 PM
Yeah, I do. Near the end, I fold the toilet paper and wipe again to make the most of it.

▀ub
01-05-2009, 11:37 PM
I fold the toilet paper and wipe again to make the most of it.

are you fucking serious?! WAHAHA!!!

I just grab a big gob of paper and use it once. Does anyone actually tear of individual squares?

Slayer
01-05-2009, 11:38 PM
Yes, I do.

****, do you plan on using the whole damn roll in one fell swoop?!

MiniMan
01-05-2009, 11:44 PM
****, do you plan on using the whole damn roll in one fell swoop?!With my fatass? Yes.

Slayer
01-05-2009, 11:45 PM
Hell, don't even bother unrolling, just jam the entire roll up your ass and hope for a better tomorrow.

▀ub
01-05-2009, 11:52 PM
Hell, don't even bother unrolling, just jam the entire roll up your ass and hope for a better tomorrow.

WAHAhAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2-D
01-06-2009, 12:41 AM
muttonhead gets a boner knowing how you wipe your ass

▀ub
01-06-2009, 12:44 AM
that's fucked up, but funny.

Mantha
01-06-2009, 01:31 AM
This thread is officially gross.

zawmbee
01-06-2009, 01:45 AM
Hell, don't even bother unrolling, just jam the entire roll up your ass and hope for a better tomorrow.
HAHAHA, ****ing win.

Automaton
01-06-2009, 08:16 AM
I rip 3-4 sheets off, scrunch them up, lean forwards, wipe the gloop, look at the paper, and decide whether I need another wipe...

Kitsune
01-06-2009, 03:07 PM
I'm surprised a lot of my habits on the toilet are this common.

also:

This thread is officially hilarious.;o

MoD
01-13-2009, 09:08 PM
I don't wipe my ass, I get my stoned hippy slaves to do it for me.

dr.sassy
01-13-2009, 09:24 PM
I dont have to wipe i got a toilet that shoots water at my crack.........

MoD
01-13-2009, 09:28 PM
I dont have to wipe i got a toilet that shoots water at my crack.........
So you have pure diluted shit dripping slowly down your leg?

You dirty bastard

dr.sassy
01-13-2009, 09:30 PM
No,i can change the pressure, and the last setting hurts like ****!!!


and yes if its strong enough it does blast some off up the space on my sides and to the ceiling or floor.

MoD
01-13-2009, 09:34 PM
I stand by the fact that your a dirty bastard

▀ub
01-13-2009, 09:40 PM
dead even.

Exile
01-13-2009, 10:13 PM
am I the only one that finds it odd that this has become such a normal discussion topic that nobody even thinks twice about it?

dr.sassy
01-13-2009, 10:13 PM
Well i have toilet paper to use its just im too lazy to get a roll, but the rolls are probably to freakin old anyway.

Its the internet, things are bound to get normal fast.

MoD
01-13-2009, 10:25 PM
am I the only one that finds it odd that this has become such a normal discussion topic that nobody even thinks twice about it?
I only reply to this because its on the internet and I'll never meet any of you people IRL.



In life, is somebody asked me this, I'd double over laughing/

dr.sassy
01-13-2009, 10:33 PM
Dream Toilet ---- http://buffetoblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/pimped_out_john.jpg

MoD
01-13-2009, 11:11 PM
Only if your a ****ing fatass.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
01-13-2009, 11:18 PM
Dream Toilet ---- http://buffetoblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/pimped_out_john.jpg
I would much rather sit in a CHAIR.

LakE
01-14-2009, 05:34 AM
Sitting and wiping (leaning forward/sidewards) causes my penis to hit the rim of the toilet, leaving me feeling dirty.
So, I then have to have a shower. The act of taking a shit leaves me feeling dirty, but not dirty enough to take a shower everytime.

So, in conclusion, standing would avoid my dick swaying into the rim of the toilet. Leaving me feeling less dirty than I feel after shitting, but standing will give me the idea that my asscheeks are closing forcing the shit around my asshole to spread a little.

Lemon
01-14-2009, 12:26 PM
If you do it doing handstands, does that count as standing up. You should have put other in the poll.

Vincent
01-14-2009, 01:27 PM
Wow, I just read the whole thread and I'm still laughing.

Krob
01-14-2009, 03:58 PM
I rip 3-4 sheets off, scrunch them up, lean forwards, wipe the gloop, look at the paper, and decide whether I need another wipe...

This .

notmaggot
01-14-2009, 04:13 PM
This .
This .

Carteana
01-30-2009, 07:32 PM
My vote (sitting) makes this poll officially 50-50!

WOW! :D

nightwatch
02-07-2009, 06:04 PM
The question is snoop dogg,that is a complete death reason.

nightwatch
02-07-2009, 06:07 PM
Wow, I just read the whole thread and I'm still laughing.I do it sitting.

chincolite
02-08-2009, 04:07 PM
why the heck do you guys want to now about our buts?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

chincolite
02-08-2009, 04:09 PM
oh and its distgusting

2-D
02-08-2009, 10:50 PM
because chincolite, it gets us harder then a rock.

▀ub
02-09-2009, 12:02 AM
why the heck do you guys want to now about our buts?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
wow............

artha14
02-16-2009, 02:17 PM
I don't wipe my ass.

isn't that nice.