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LakE
01-13-2009, 10:12 AM
You should be able to understand the meaning of this song, if not, I'll explain.
Make sure to read it all, as painful as it may be I could do with the help.


I wake up,
in a place that is not home.
Given a few words explaining what to do.
"Fix the world." is all it states,
no instructions on how to create.
There's an illustration by the side,
A man smiling to the sky,
A pair of eyes staring down,
and a hand reaching out.
On his arm there are some words,
looking quite absurd,
they read;

"This world was born with Mythomania,
it's just a producing star.
You're burning it out,
save yourself.
Because you can't save anyone else.
Not now, not now,
it's too late."

I believed in you,
My holy ghost,
my ghostly host.
You held out your hand,
and gave me a plan.
Your expectations may not be met,
but I shall forever be in your debt.

Out there, you are something,
But here, there is nothing,
but another failed subject,
that put itself to death.

You came to me in a dream and you said:

"This world was born with Mythomania,
it's just a producing star.
You're burning it out,
save yourself.
Because you can't save anyone else.
Not now, not now,
it's too late"

We are fighting for survival,
but you know I'm on your side.
We are fighting for revival,
but our home is already lost.

So I turn my back on my friends,
tell them "I'll help you, but it depends."
With your words I state to them:

"This world was born with Mythomania,
it's just a producing star.
You're burning it out,
save yourself.
Because you can't save anyone else.
Not now, not now.
It's too late."

I told them "I'm scared",
They didn't seem to have cared.
"Honesty is the best policy", they say,
but, they have no idea what I fear today.
For that, I applaud them.
Ignorance is a grace,
because if they knew what we face;
they too, would fear space.

"Tell them all if you want."
The words you had chosen to flaunt.
I condemn with causing mayhem,
my job was to save them,
their ignorance is what started the end,
that alone I cannot comprehend.
By your words, and your words alone;

"This world was born with Mythomania,
it's just a producing star.
You're burning it out,
save yourself.
Because you can't save anyone else.
Not now, not now.
It's too late."

I see that it's too late now,
I'm happy with it being too late now.
Nothing they can do will save theirself,
because it's too late now.
Thank you.

Edit: The underlined and bolded font is what I feel is most important needed to change. I'm just un-able to change them.

zawmbee
01-13-2009, 03:02 PM
I truly do not know what to say, it's great - i love the rhyming scheme.

LakE
01-13-2009, 03:08 PM
Thank you very much, good sir.

LakE
01-13-2009, 06:27 PM
23 views, 3 posts. I'm already on a literature forum, 2 actually, both of which are supposed to be good but leave me without any criticism.

Any more comments?

LakE
01-14-2009, 05:28 AM
Oh, yeah. Thank you for that criticism, I will make sure to work on that when I decide to write again.

MoD
01-14-2009, 10:22 AM
I've been trying to write up some, but I can't think of anything bad about it yet.

LakE
01-14-2009, 10:37 AM
Thank you very much, MoD. I doubt I'll get any more comments on it, so I'll just leave it now.

zawmbee
01-14-2009, 11:27 AM
Can i recommend some writing forums so your gift doesn't go un-nurtured :3

LakE
01-14-2009, 11:31 AM
I would love that. <3

MoD
01-14-2009, 04:18 PM
Google > Songwriter forum > Second Result


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