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Zed
04-19-2009, 03:01 PM
This was not all written by me. It was a joint effort by many members of SPP. I merely collected most of it together (Zyles did the first paragraph). I corrected some of the grammar as well but it's still dreadful - I'm not superman. I know this may come as a shock to some of you but it's something we all have to come to terms with.

I think the Nobel Prize for literature is just around the corner for us, guys!


Bob woke up in the dark packing room, surrounded by damp boxes. He stands up, breathing heavily, and walks over to one of the damp boxes. Bob decides not to go towards the boxes, so he turns around and leaves his house in hopes that if he can find a cure for a flesh eating disease, the bad people from mars will stop raping their children because the people from mars are extremely lonely and a race full of guys, so they have to plant their seed in little women. and then he signals aliens that are light-years away And then Bob was a zombie. and then he realized that Chosen was a faggot and cockslapped him to death brutally, and proceeded to eat his bones. Bob then gets cured of his zombodium and decides to learn the study of wumbology.And then a Farmer came out. And then pandemedic was a zombie too.
and then the paramedic ate bob... and the ninjas. And then Zyles came and raped Paramedic. aand then flesh got hacked But in reality, Flesh didn't get hacked but Mantha did and went batshit crazy. but in this version, flesh got hacked, and went on a
meatspin/goatse/1man1jar/2girls1cup/funnelchair/spankwire
spree. And then Flesh got one infraction for no apperant reason.
But it is not the end, because then Buckethead started beating the shit out of him for eating a chicken leg. After having the shit beat out of him, the rest of the chicken walked up to Bob and stabbed him with an ink pen. It leaked into his bloodstream, highlighting his veins so they seemed black on the outside. "Noe It Ies Le End" [a deep booming voice said].
I Saw a spider as big as a pickle which I began to kiss and make out with, but then suddenly the giant spiders kids ran in demanding their mommy, the giant spider turned and said "There's anough of my spider twat to go around" and then I said anal sex It's better then regular sex. And the spider was all like "climb inside me children", and then they Explooooooooooooodedddd./went all up inside her vaginal cavity and massaged the walls of her arachnid pleasure hole. well by this point i was slightly confused so i walked away slowly, just then i saw the city of Babylon. Just then a nuke hit and blew me to peices only to be regenerated into a holy person on jesusmoses level. But then out of nowhere a flying zebra took jesusmoses to the park! so they could have sex and molest little children while they ate cream coated lolipops from the year 1992 That were encrusted with camel testicles! As they traveled to the park, they encountered a low flying hot air balloon. in the balloon, I could see some odd looking fellow that seemed to be holding a big...black...dildo. He threw it down to Earth, at which point it was discovered that it was explosive. Then, the big giant black dildo started attacking Dick Cheney, which was futile because his ass was already very loose. Then I got ninja'd in the face. After I was ninja'd, the ninja summoned nukes and killed me again. Your pieces were brought together with technology, and you became Professor Gadget. GO GO GADGET NUKE! I blew the earth apart and the two parts of Earth hit Pluto and Mars. The Plutonians and Marsians start writing Albert Fish's cookbook and cooked a marsian. the marsians considered this religiously offensive, so they started a nuclear arms race which caused A gigantahugic explosion that was so big that everyone died. Then we got to heaven and realised the jews were right. but we re-killed the jews because they were right. Then the God punished us to an oblivion of Hook-nosed jews. Then we were saved by Myself. He's very proud now. Except it wasn't Myself, for the real Myself was sucked into a grammatical worm hole, where people incorrectly using the word myself in a grammatically incorrect use fall victim to purgery; and so, it was instead saved by Meself, the olden times version of Myself; it also replaces I think with Methinks.
So this was a story all about how we're not going to fall victim to overdone internet memes. All abusers of the single sentence rule were then shunned from ever coming back into the thread, so says Darth Vader, the đedi.
"Don't worry men, I'll save us!"[yelled Myself] But then the weird thing in Meself's avatar became real! Then Finnerwoo took everyone to the moon, and whipped out his huge dick and said: "I'm a winner foo'" Just befor a meteor collided into their location and killed everyone. Only the Jews survived, so it were in the end, not the mormons. But the Jews that were right.
"THEY PUNISHED US THEY DID!?" hollered one of the remaining people on earth, just befor the zombies could tear him apart. "No John, you ARE a zombie" said Whoever. Then John was a demon. And John decided that life was gay so he tried to drown himself but it didn't work Then he got extremely emo and started cutting himself. unfortunatly his blood was actually acid an it melted the knife And then there was one. He then ripped off his arm, for no reason and ate it, to satiate his hunger for the souls of sexy men But there were no sexy men, there were only stickpagians that liked to make random stories about self eating emo demons. And then the one armed demon John found the woman of his dreams, and they proceeded to fornicate for 40 days and 40 nights, only taking breaks on Sundays, and then Johns girlfriend was preggo. And then she looked at SPP and thought "omg! A spam thread in disguise!" and started posting random sentance fragments on it. But then John realised he wasn't the demons, he was teh vampires And he was in a bad mood because it was too sunny. so he said: "Thou shalt not cometh outsideth" And so the first stickpagian was born. And he looked upon his creation and felt ashamed so he created Dragon077 as punishment. and on the third day he created the flash section and he saw it was good. Untill Zyles arrived... duh..duh..Duuuuuuuuuuuh..And Zyles had only created on thread in the flash section. On the fourth day he created the easytoon section, and saw it was empty. And then he invented the cave, the depth of the dark abyss, where the so called "moderators" cloaked themselves in the fear of those around them. But despite his low thread count, Zyles was the scourge of SPP - Satan's internet incarnation; he created Zed to terrorise the Debate section, spambots to annoy everyone (especially the mods who got annoyed with people replying to them) and really rubbish literature to clog up the off topic area. And on the fifth day he created the rest:

The Pivot section was noobfilled.
The main was full
The debate was Debaty
The general help was spammy
The rest was empty.


Original at http://www.stickpageportal.com/forums/showthread.php?t=101563

STICKWARRIOR44
04-19-2009, 03:03 PM
You forgot to mention me, the person who kickstarted it all off.

Kieran.
04-19-2009, 03:06 PM
This should be published.

Zed
04-19-2009, 03:06 PM
Credz to everyone if you follow the link and look through. Or shall I list all the contributors?

Omega
04-19-2009, 03:40 PM
Haha, I can see my own tiny contribution of one sentence.

Ustartin
04-19-2009, 03:50 PM
This is actually really funny.

MaxZ
04-19-2009, 11:45 PM
Awesome. Awesome story of epicness.

Kieran.
04-20-2009, 04:38 AM
Credz to everyone if you follow the link and look through. Or shall I list all the contributors?

You shall, I think you'll have enough time on your hands.

Myself
04-20-2009, 05:50 AM
I like how I feature prominently in it.

Cosmonaut
04-20-2009, 11:47 AM
haha awesome