PDA

View Full Version : gay story



pagan
06-07-2009, 11:57 PM
one day, naruto went to work . he works as a bartender at a trendy gay bar in milan, italy. his boyfriend, cesar valdez, the favorite son a millionaire oil baron, was a dancer at the bar that naruto works at. they would leave for work together, making out the whole time in the car. when they get to work cesar dances and naruto serves drinks, doing his specialty ninja bottle flips and flair, racking up huge tips at the exclusive gay nightclub. after work, they would look into each other's sexy eyes and make out for a really long time behind the club. sometimes horny gay guys would walk past, on their way out of the club, and yell and cheer for the two sexy guys making out like no one is watching. then they would stare in each others eyes and go home.


one day at work, naruto noticed a blue hedgehog dancing slowly in the dancefloor. the thing of the matter is, this blue hedgehog was looking straight at naruto, not anyone else. naruto could not explain the strange sensation of arousal that flooded into his brain and cock from seeing this hedgehog looking at him. eventually the hedgehog walked over to the bar and ordered a fruity drink. when naruto made his drink, shaking his hips and doing a little extra flair for this mysterious customer, the hedgehog was winking at him all the time. the hedgehog gave naruto and extra big tip and said "my name's sonic, and i think you're a sexy guy. do you wanna hang out with me." naruto said he gets off work at 3 am and that he would talk to him then. naruto had such a hard boner he could barely concentrate on making drinks for the other bar patrons. a few times he'd catch himself wondering about what sonic's cock looked like, and what it would feel like inside his mouth.


after work, naruto and his gay boyfriend cesar valdez went behind the bar like usual, and sonic was there too. "hey boys" said sonic, "you boys like to party? i'm horny as hell." and they both said yeah at the same time. naruto could see cesar already has a hard boner from looking at sonic, who had a sexy face and long, gay blue fur. they all went into naruto's car and drove to the alps, which was the most sensual place any of them could think of. when they got out of the car, they looked at the view around them and said to each other how beautiful the view was. it was a really beautiful view, they all agreed.

then sonic said "i want you to crawl into my big cock, naruto. you turn me on a lot." and naruto was surprised at this idea, but being a trained ninja he said ok. he was crawling into sonic's cock and he got so turned on by the idea of being inside of sonic's big dick. when he was halfway inside he started making out with cesar, who could not wait to get in on the action. seeing this event happening right in front of his eyes was really sexy, cesar thought. "i'm so turned on" he said to both of them. eventually only naruto's head was sticking out of sonic's boner. he was still making out with cesar, and sonic was touching his ass. they were so horny. cesar said "i have secretly always been turned on by swallowing and being swallowed by sexy guys. it would be really hot if you'd let me swallow you, sonic, with naruto in your cock." sonic agreed that this was really sexy, and naruto agreed too.

so cesar started to swallow sonic, with naruto in his big dick. it would be hard to swallow both of them together like that, but the thought of its difficult only made cesar even more horny. sonic said, when he was about halfway swallowed, "it's so sexy being swallowed by you." eventually cesar completely swallowed sonic, and they were so turned on by that that they all came at once. cesar with his big tummy could barely fit in the car, but he managed to and started to drive home just as dawn was rising on the mountain. he drove to his home, where he lived with naruto, and went to sleep. the next morning he passed sonic from his ass, and sonic squeezed naruto out of his cock. they all made out and then sonic had to go home so he said goodbye. they all said goodbye and had a group hug. when sonic left he gave them his phone number so they could do it again. "i had a really great time" he said, swishing his tail suggestively. "thanks" said naruto, blushing.

the end

Scarecrow
06-08-2009, 02:49 AM
what is this i don't even

MaxZ
06-08-2009, 06:22 AM
Hot .

Gavel
06-08-2009, 10:28 AM
Lol. Orange Blob reported this and his report note was "it's gay".

Zed
06-08-2009, 01:15 PM
Pagan, you've really over-emphasised the gayness, especially at the beginning. Seriously, there's almost no substance to the literature beyond the homosexuality. It would be better if you had brought it in slowly, maybe only hinting at it for a few paragraphs before making it clear. I think you brought in the characters too quickly as well and then did nothing with them considering the complexity, as though you sat down before you started and thought of the characters and their backstory and then felt that you had to get it all in somehow. One sentance summaries of the characters in the first paragraph just seems to be getting it out of the way quickly before you move on to the bit that you really want to write about - the gay hedgehog sex. Quite why you were so desperate to get to that bit I won't ask, but I really think your work would benefit from more of a build up.

Ustartin
06-08-2009, 03:33 PM
Zed, I think his story was supposed to be shit.

Zed
06-08-2009, 03:35 PM
I sorta got that impression, but it looks like he could do some decent writing if he wanted to. It would be a shame to waste this opportunity to learn stuff.

Ustartin
06-08-2009, 03:36 PM
Zed - Trolls don't learn stuff.

Zed
06-08-2009, 03:41 PM
O_O

I hate when stuff gets irrational. Trolls would make such an interesting study if they could only be pinned down long enough to disect.

Ustartin
06-08-2009, 03:47 PM
Not much to dissect, Zed. Just trollin'.

the_jizz_master
06-08-2009, 06:23 PM
i loved the way u desribed sonics long hard boner. i felt my pants geting tighter each second!!! ;)

Garuda
06-08-2009, 06:50 PM
The trolls are hard to make out in this thread...

Setmin
06-08-2009, 07:28 PM
nice fanfic brah

Ash
06-08-2009, 09:11 PM
I agree with Zed here. Trolling works so much better when its subtle. Like this story here:
http://www.stickpageportal.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1539863

notmaggot
06-08-2009, 09:55 PM
Does anyone else have a boner right now?

pagan
06-08-2009, 10:21 PM
Pagan, you've really over-emphasised the gayness, especially at the beginning. Seriously, there's almost no substance to the literature beyond the homosexuality. It would be better if you had brought it in slowly, maybe only hinting at it for a few paragraphs before making it clear. I think you brought in the characters too quickly as well and then did nothing with them considering the complexity, as though you sat down before you started and thought of the characters and their backstory and then felt that you had to get it all in somehow. One sentance summaries of the characters in the first paragraph just seems to be getting it out of the way quickly before you move on to the bit that you really want to write about - the gay hedgehog sex. Quite why you were so desperate to get to that bit I won't ask, but I really think your work would benefit from more of a build up.

thanks for your thoughtful response. a lot of people seem to be accusing me of trolling, i don't really know what that is but i'm glad you guys read my story at least.

i'm more of a plot-focused writer, hence the higher priority given to the action of the story. the lack of substantive character in the main players is an attempt on my part to bring the reader into the story. one can place himself in the shoes of the characters more easily if their backgrounds are vague. i would suggest reading it again with this approach in mind, try to imagine yourself as naruto or sonic acting out the story. put yourself in their shoes. also, most of these characters are already well defined by pop culture, so a big introduction seemed a bit redundant.

Chunky
06-14-2009, 01:26 PM
why is pagan banned? i love pagan

Flood
06-19-2009, 11:06 PM
Does anyone else have a boner right now?

I have a boner for you, baby.

















:Love<3: