View Full Version : Diaries of a Hitman

12-28-2009, 12:19 AM
Dear Diary,

What if the world was empty? Its a thought discussed many times, in both books, music, and games. But what would it really in an empty world where nothing thrived? I think it would be like Mars, or Jupiter, or the Sun. People make too much of a big deal out of things. Don't believe me? The sheer amount of people who jumped on the conspiracy theorist wagon for 9/11, the Twilight book hit and people who still listen to AC/DC like it is a religion.

I am Keith Crawnford, and my job affords me a lot of time to think. Thinking is good, as it can help ease the cogs of the mind, help ease the flow of the calculated figures needed to perform my job to perfection. My job is an art really, but it is freelance. It's not painfully subtle I suppose, but the authorities wouldn't take too kindly if I started offering it out in the papers.

Taking another persons life can be so taxing. Especially if you want it done with no trace, nothing digital or personal. No fingerprints, no scuffmarks, and the shoes still polished for your nice lovely missus. I just hope you pay well.

I'm Keith Crawnford, and if you are reading this, get the **** out of my diary.

12-28-2009, 12:25 AM
Dear Diary,

Okay, so it was my birthday yesterday; happy ****ing 36 years into death. I went out and got a diary, to help me cleanse my thoughts, and if I die - then to leave the world evidence I was actually here. Alive. Stable.

Got a new contract today, says the target is some politician. Was a special job, wants him killed by shooting him at right hand angle in the knee caps, and then his arm sockets blown out. Without a doubt that should kill him, but still ... Some of the people I work for are sadistic as ****. Oh well, pays the bills and the taxes, right?

And it keeps me in the buisiness.

12-28-2009, 12:32 AM
good story, but how could he have gotten the diary in Chapter 2, if he's been writing in it since Chapter 1? and the Chapters are a tad too short.

12-28-2009, 12:54 AM
He went out and got the diary yesterday, and is only today noting it.

Also its diary chapters, not noted for being long.

12-28-2009, 12:57 AM
Dear Diary,

Spent all night up calculating a good position to let off the shots from, I was guessing from a small werehouse roof, but now new knowledge has come into light regarding the matter and I have found the locations of a steep hill and a large skyscraper. The skyscraper will be the hardest to pull off, as it is the furthest away, and I will have to adjust for height, weight and distance but it is also the safest, as the shot will be virtually untrackable. My best bet is the hill, however.

In other news, Jenny called this week. Asked me how I was. She said the kids were fine and they all wished me happy birthday. My birthday was 3 ****ing days ago.

****ing people.

12-28-2009, 02:45 AM
Lol a fruity hitman, I couldn't imagine. You should really consider calling it a journal and forgo starting each entry with "Dear Diary". Lmao.

12-28-2009, 04:07 AM
I'd have thought you meant "wind" rather than "weight" in the third one, and it could probably use either a comma or a semi colon after "distance". Maybe a "Look at" would be good in the first one before the examples of human stupidity.

But I'm nitpicking.

Well written and with good character depth, unlike what some people would have done given the same sort of task which would probably just be a load of blood an car chases and action which was touched on but never gone into. I thought it was very nice. Would read more.

12-28-2009, 11:39 AM
I was writing those ones fast, the next few updates will be good. And yeah, hoping not to divulge into car chases and more into the actual life of a hitman - and I'm using a swedish keyboard so god knows where all that stuff is.

12-28-2009, 11:43 AM
good story, but how could he have gotten the diary in Chapter 2, if he's been writing in it since Chapter 1? and the Chapters are a tad too short.

Chapters= about 10 pages.

12-28-2009, 11:45 AM
Dear Diary,
Finally got paid for the last contract. Not much, but it'd be fine. Enough to pay for the kids christmas presents. They still dont know what I do, but I expect they wont have much to do with me when their bitch mother does; so I should get to know them as much as possible now. Finally decided on the hill, checked the weather forecast. It should be snowing, which is bad - but good for cover, one would suppose. Means it'll take some extreme precision, I hope I dont blow it.

Meanwhile a kid bumped into me today, he winked at me and ran off, leaving a letter behind. I should open it tommorow, it's adressed to me. No identity of the leaver.

12-28-2009, 11:46 AM
I like all the foreplay leading to the action, makes it seem more... important. but please, the short chapters are killing me. You go on to have something good, but then it ends abruptly.

12-28-2009, 11:49 AM
Dear Diary,

So, I opened the letter. It just had a picture, and some money. Upon inspecting the picture, I realized it was me. Somebody is obviously watching me, I should take extra care leaving and entering the house and especially on the day of the hit.

Otherwise I hit up some old dealers, for amphetamines and ketamines. I'm gonna need the extra energy buzz, just hope I dont fall into the rabbit hole. I'm going to go shopping tommorow, hit is in two days!

Also, keep finding catflap opened, even after I nail it down. Strange, should look into this, maybe it has something to do with the letter? Anyways, off now to make some food. Maybe I should just stick with take-aways?

12-28-2009, 12:26 PM
nice. a bit abstract. but ok.

btw, you thought of including dates? (August 4th 2003) or anything?

12-28-2009, 02:43 PM
Isn't ketamine horse tranquilliser?

12-28-2009, 04:27 PM
Nope. Look em up.

12-28-2009, 04:34 PM
Ketamine is a short-acting but powerful general anaesthetic which depresses the nervous system and causes a temporary loss of body sensation. That’s why it has been used for operating on humans and animals.

Ketamine is a drug used in human and veterinary medicine

12-29-2009, 03:55 AM
If a hitman becomes caught, then being numb would be a very good thing, as they would be able to escape withstanding any pain.

12-29-2009, 05:04 AM
Ok, that makes sense.

12-30-2009, 04:06 PM
Dear Diary,

Put Nocturama by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on repeat all day. It helps me relax. I suppose Nick Cave shares my own views of murder.

I picked the kids up today, have to drop them off early tommorow. Wasn't expecting it, but got a phonecall late last night. Sheila's probably just gonna **** her new boyfriend throughout it all or be a whore or whatever she's turned into now. I hate her. She's not the women I fell in love with.

Had to go shopping today, and of course ended up at McDonalds with the kids like always. They like to eat through money. As in, really badly. I bought them all new clothes, as their mother seems to be neglecting them. I'll bring it up with her next time. I met the new boyfriend on the way to picking them up though, he seems like a nice person. The kids all like him, this is good.

Just dont want him to replace me.

Other then that, nailed down the cat flap and put up a trap. Whatever it is, if it happens again I'll find out in the morning. Its starting to get cold.

I need to buy a coat, totally forgot today.

Goodnight, Diary. I'm off to sleep now. Its nice to have the kids, I love them. I hope they love me back.

12-30-2009, 07:52 PM
where are the lesbian sex scenes. other than that, you're building up a good background.

12-31-2009, 10:20 AM
Dear Diary,

Dropped the kids off and picked up a BLT(Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato) sandwich. It was delicious, considering it was so early. I went back to my place to pick up the briefcase and noticed there was a note on it. It was blank both sides, I should inspect it more later. I checked the cat flap out of curiosity, and it was still nailed shut. However the window was wider open. We appear to have some sort of thief running about.

Went up to the hill and set my gear up, waited for the target for 15 minutes. When he came out I shot twice, and hit on the second. It wasn't a fatal wound, so I'm going to have to take him out in hospital. But at least it was a confirmed hit. I've already filled a needle up with air, just need to inject it into his IV. Should give him an embolism, killing him instantly. Hopefully he wont have extra protection, I'm no good at hand to hand. Will bring along a knife just in case.

Well, I'm off to the hospital. See you later Diary.