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View Full Version : How can a methodist become an exorcist?



MagicalTrevor
01-05-2010, 07:47 PM
I've googled it already, I didn't get what I was looking for. I did read that you have to be a catholic priest. I really don't want to switch religions. Does anyone know if a christian could become an exorcist?

P.S. Methodism is a form of Christianity, for those that didn't know

Automaton
01-05-2010, 08:42 PM
Are you telling me you want to be an exorcist?

2-D
01-05-2010, 08:59 PM
why not do something that's useful and not mythological, bitch, get a job for real, not hoein, or dick blowin'.

Garuda
01-05-2010, 09:28 PM
"When I grow up I want to be an exorcist"


What the ****

Scarecrow
01-05-2010, 09:36 PM
best thread 2010 candidate

CGIllusion
01-05-2010, 10:52 PM
I don't think exorcist is a job title.. priests perform exorcisms.

Automaton
01-06-2010, 03:54 AM
Honestly, exorcists are going out of business lately. This is largely due to psychology finding the real issues with the problems the so-called posessed people have.

Ash
01-06-2010, 04:22 AM
I recommend you get season 5 of Penn and Teller: Bullshit! on DVD and watch the episode on exorcisms. You may actually learn something.

alive
01-06-2010, 04:48 AM
Since none of these assholes will help you, I guess I will have to.

Exorcism does exist in Methodism.
Here's what the wikipedia article said about exorcism in Methodism:
"The Methodist Church holds that the ritual of exorcism involves "the casting out of an objective power of evil which has gained possession of a person."[19] Moreover, the Methodist Church teaches that "the authority to exorcise has been given to the Church as one of the ways in which Christ's Ministry is continued in the world."[20] Ordained clergy must first consult the district superintendent in order to perform an exorcism.[21] The Methodist Church holds that it is of great importance to ensure that the presence and love of Christ is assured to the individual(s) seeking help.[22] In addition, the ministry of the "bible, prayer and sacraments" should be extended to these individuals as well.[23] A combination of these things has been proven to be effective.[24] For example, in one particular situation, a Roman Catholic woman believed that her house was haunted, and therefore consulted her priest for assistance. Since he was not available to drive the demons from the woman's home, she contacted a Methodist pastor, who exorcised the evil spirits from a room, which was believed to be the source of distress in the house, and celebrated Holy Communion in the same place;[24] following these actions, there was no longer any problem in the house."

So basically what you want to know is how to become an elder, which can be found here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_(Methodism)#Educational_requirements

Here you can find colleges and universities affiliated with the United Methodist Church: http://www.gbhem.org/site/c.lsKSL3POLvF/b.3463093/k.79AE/Colleges_and_Universities.htm

Millardthemk
01-06-2010, 04:08 PM
Read you Bible man,

Thats where the truth lies. Not in our words, or the words of the church even. But in the Holy Word of God.

CGIllusion
01-06-2010, 07:38 PM
^ written by men...

It's Me
01-06-2010, 07:39 PM
Read you Bible man,

Thats where the truth lies. Not in our words, or the words of the church even. But in the Holy Word of God.
Convert me, oh wise man.

Millardthemk
01-06-2010, 07:45 PM
^ written by men...

God inspired,

"For all scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness".

Millard

Millardthemk
01-06-2010, 07:46 PM
Convert me, oh wise man.

I an nay wise my friend, I just know where truth is found :)

Very clever though lol nice

It's Me
01-06-2010, 08:26 PM
Our story begins after an invisible, omnipotent, omniscient being (we’ll call him Fred) had created basically everything in a couple of days. Shortly after this Fred decided to make some guy out of a pile of dust. Fred was satisfied with his creation but he knew that something was missing. So being the pro that he was, our magician Fred exhaled up the dust-man's nose and turned him into a perfectly normal human being with a ghost inside of him to give him consciousness and personality. Fred called him Gary.
Then, Fred made some plants and animals out of the ground and told Gary to take care and name all of them. The garden Fred made was perfect and consisted of every plant and animal coexisting in harmony with the land. Just for fun Fred told Gary not to eat fruit from this one tree, if he did Gary would die. This was pointless though because even if Gary did die, his ghost of consciousness would live on forever anyway. After naming all the animals for no reason Gary got sad because none of them could help him tend to the perfectly self-reliant garden where he had been placed. Fred saw Gary’s sadness and KO’d him and then stole one of his dusty ribs. Then, Fred made a chick out of the rib. The rib-woman was beautiful and after Gary awoke from his unconscious stupor he named her Gina. The dust-man and the rib-woman ran around their garden naked and everything was wonderful.
Time passed and eventually an evil, talking, upright-walking snake went up to Gina and said, "Sup, u shuld go ete det frewt!" Gina was all like, "No wai bro, Fred sais well die if we do." The snake said, "Na, u wont di. Ull just no the difrnce between gud nd bad nd ull turn into a pro like Fred." Gina was intrigued by this and said, “Sweet deel man” and Gina and Gary ate the fruit.
That’s when things got weird.
Gary and Gina started freaking out because they were naked so they made some clothes out of leaves and hid in some trees whenever Fred came around. Shortly after that Fred went into the garden and said, “Where you at?” This was rhetorical because Fred was omnipotent, omniscient, and of course magic. Knowing the jig was up Gary stated, "I herd u comin and I got scurd cuz I was nakid so me nd Gina hid." So Fred said, "wtf, I told u guise not 2 eet det frwt??? I’m veri angry… >:C" Gary blamed his wrong-doings on Gina who then cried, "Da snake guy triked me omg ugh plz dunt hurt mi." By now Fred was super angry so he went super-saiyan and started owning everyone with his skills. He made the snake lose his ability to walk and made him eat dirt.

I lost the rest.

2-D
01-06-2010, 08:36 PM
God inspired,

"For all scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness".

Millard

god inspired me to **** you in the ass, does that mean anything to you?

Fries
01-06-2010, 10:50 PM
im a Methodist...i love it and believe it, and honestly i do not think that we can become exorcist...

Scarecrow
01-07-2010, 02:42 AM
LOL religion

Cosmonaut
01-07-2010, 02:47 AM
The rib-woman was beautiful
nearly spit my water out you bastard, I could have seriously damaged my screen.

Scarecrow
01-07-2010, 02:58 AM
wait wait wait, if everything was perfect and in harmony and co-existing nicely and all that, why did the snake tempt adam and eve? furthermore, why did they succumb to said tempting?

Cosmonaut
01-07-2010, 03:09 AM
because humans have always been idiots

Myself
01-07-2010, 07:32 AM
Because god is an asshole.

Bonk
01-07-2010, 07:56 AM
Actually, all of the above.

‹berschall
01-07-2010, 11:24 AM
im a Methodist...i love it and believe it, and honestly i do not think that we can become exorcist...

Well, alive already pretty much pointed out that you can. Way to know and "love" your religion.

MagicalTrevor
01-13-2010, 03:51 PM
The information is much obliged, Alive. Thanks