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Automaton
03-04-2010, 12:00 PM
What do you reckon?

I can't go into any traumatic stories about how my life is really shitty, because honestly it it's not as if I've had any such things happen. I just feel my life in general is shitty and pointless (trying not to go all emo here). I feel as if when I'm around others I'm acting like a completely different person, putting on a fake smile. It seems to work. When people poke fun at me, as they do everyone else, I pretend it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. Anyway, when I get home, and am by myself, I find myself listening to some really depressing music and am generally in a really depressed mood. I can't stand my parents, so much so that I don't like eating with them and it irritates me doing so. When I'm not out with my friends I'm on the computer, trying not to think about things too much. And in bed, sometimes I cry if I think about it for too long, other times I just pity myself. I've thought about suicide, by my honest opinion is suicide is for pussies and is really pointless.

inb4 emo attention whore.

Srsly, what do you think? Will it pass or is it more serious? Any more info needed just ask...

[edit]
And before you ask why I'm asking on a stickfigure forum - I feel there's nobody else I can ask really. Don't have a girlfriend, I've told you how I feel about my family and I don't really want to tell my friends... not the sort of stuff we discuss.

GR4Y-F0X
03-04-2010, 12:15 PM
I've kinda had the same thing back in school, I could sound a bit weird but depending on your age it could be puberty? If not then maybe you could talk to a doctor?

Automaton
03-04-2010, 12:20 PM
That's what I'm thinking (I'm 15). I just didn't think it could have this much of an effect... I mean my life isn't all too great, but I didn't think it would be bad enough to make me feel like this.

-Hawk-
03-04-2010, 12:20 PM
I have sort of a similar state of mind.
#1 - Give up the depressive music. I know you enjoy listening to it, cause there's a masochist tendency you've got there, but believe me, depressive music won't help you. If you want to "get yourself numb" with it, you'd better give up already. Go for some funny rock every once in a while (try Tenacious D :P)
#2 - Keep yourself busy. Stop allowing yourself to think about anything else than what you have or like to do. Maybe you think it will feel like you're a robot with a set schedule and goal, but you'll find out you'll soon forget about your depression.
#3 - Keep being nice to people and pretending to have fun even if you're not. It will help even more if you get a close friend.
Hope I'm making sense here. Also, wow, I'm 15 too, and except the crying I have pretty much all your "symptoms".

OGrilla
03-04-2010, 12:26 PM
I feel like I have a lot to share with you, so please PM me. I'm in class and don't have the time to talk right now, but I would love to help you out and I think I can at least relate if not help you curb this depression before it gets as bad as mine did/is.

GR4Y-F0X
03-04-2010, 12:27 PM
Its weird how hormones work :S

sss
03-04-2010, 12:42 PM
It will pass.

Devour
03-04-2010, 12:51 PM
This happened and passed for me a while ago, back when I was 13.

Exile
03-04-2010, 12:59 PM
I promise you you're going to look back in like 2 or 3 years ago and think "what the hell was I thinking", pretty much everyone goes through this and pretty much everyone hates what they used to be during those years.

Hawk is right. Don't listen to depressing music. What's the appeal? Find some new genres and some new groups. There's a torrent called "A Dream Upon Waking" that has a pretty good variety of indie rock and electronica, that's a good way to get started.

Hawk was also right, stay busy. I didn't do a whole lot in middle/early high school so I literally just learned how to do shit for the sake of learning it. Animating, photoshop, making music, playing guitar, playing piano, juggling, memorizing digits of Pi, whatever, I just always had some king of task that I was trying to master and it kept my mind active. I still do it now, I'm learning pen spinning and photography. It's hard to be depressed when you're constantly setting goals and achieving them.

But, either way, you need to acknowledge that you have nothing to be depressed about. If your friends poke fun at you, laugh and dish it back. If bullies poke fun at you, ignore them. You probably have a good life and unless your parents beat you or anything, there's no reason to hate their guts. Just on't do shit at the age of 15 that you're going to regret when you're 18

Zed
03-04-2010, 01:36 PM
Hawk was also right, stay busy. I didn't do a whole lot in middle/early high school so I literally just learned how to do shit for the sake of learning it. Animating, photoshop, making music, playing guitar, playing piano, juggling, memorizing digits of Pi, whatever, I just always had some king of task that I was trying to master and it kept my mind active. I still do it now, I'm learning pen spinning and photography. It's hard to be depressed when you're constantly setting goals and achieving them.

This. Learn juggling. Most uplifting thing in the world. Once you can pull off a Boston Mess you need never be sad again.

Exile
03-04-2010, 01:57 PM
I can't tell if you're mocking me or not, but being "that guy who can juggle" is one of the least depressing things you can experience

Zed
03-04-2010, 02:10 PM
I wasn't mocking at all. I learned juggling properly three years ago, and one of the proudest moments of my life was suddenly getting the hang of the Boston Mess. Took me about an hour and a half, and I'd already got Mill's Mess down when I started.

Vorpal
03-04-2010, 02:21 PM
I promise you you're going to look back in like 2 or 3 years ago and think "what the hell was I thinking", pretty much everyone goes through this and pretty much everyone hates what they used to be during those years.

Hawk is right. Don't listen to depressing music. What's the appeal? Find some new genres and some new groups. There's a torrent called "A Dream Upon Waking" that has a pretty good variety of indie rock and electronica, that's a good way to get started.

Hawk was also right, stay busy. I didn't do a whole lot in middle/early high school so I literally just learned how to do shit for the sake of learning it. Animating, photoshop, making music, playing guitar, playing piano, juggling, memorizing digits of Pi, whatever, I just always had some king of task that I was trying to master and it kept my mind active. I still do it now, I'm learning pen spinning and photography. It's hard to be depressed when you're constantly setting goals and achieving them.

But, either way, you need to acknowledge that you have nothing to be depressed about. If your friends poke fun at you, laugh and dish it back. If bullies poke fun at you, ignore them. You probably have a good life and unless your parents beat you or anything, there's no reason to hate their guts. Just don't do shit at the age of 15 that you're going to regret when you're 18
I agree, it's also true that eating habits can change your mood. Make sure your not eating anything blatantly bad for you, if it makes you feel bad remove it from your life, I once told my mom that I wouldn't be eating unhealthy food anymore. We had no healthy food in the house, it took her a while but she got it eventually. Now I don't touch anything that will make me sick or feel bad.

Like exilement said, happy music makes a happy person I recommend some more upbeat shit.
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/57239
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/89792
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/15878

Anything like this, just sit down and make sure it's music that you can relax to and reflect and what not, don't be depressed.
Like he said, we all go through it just at different times, the key is to just not be depressed. Don't think thoughts that get you depressed, like; No one gets you, of course someone gets you, if your friends don't get you. You're probably better off getting new friends that do, if they flick shit at you practice up on your insults and show them who's boss, they're jokes so they aren't of hurtful intent, shrug it off.

-Hawk-
03-04-2010, 02:33 PM
Also, try to sleep enough (7-8 hours). If you're tired, you're less lucid and think more about your problems. And don't keep yourself locked inside your house. Try to go out as much as possible.
Oh, and... (personal experience right here), if part of your depression is girl problems... well I don't really know what to do about it.

Automaton
03-04-2010, 02:34 PM
First off, thanks for all the responses guys. I've taken everything in consideration and am going to start to think/act happy and let it pass.



But, either way, you need to acknowledge that you have nothing to be depressed about.

But I feel that I do have things to be depressed about. I'm overweight, feel like I'm constantly being stared at, am constantly getting lower that expected grades (should be A's), get pushed and pushed for better results by my parents, who go overboard on EVERYTHING. Seriously, I had a detention for forgetting to do my homework and I had to go around my dads for a half-hour lecture on how I won't be able to be a psychologist if I keep forgetting my homework, despite the fact it was an honest excuse and has only happened once. I also feel that my friends aren't truly my friends, even though they are my friends (confusing right?). I feel like I'm just that guy that's there if I want to be, and nobody will try to get me to come out with them other than the one "are you coming out this weekend?" I occasionally get. Lastly my dad has said if I keep getting up late in the morning or my computer's not off by 10:30 (which it always is) he's going to take my computer to the ****ing tip, and contact my school and see if "4 hours a day on the computer is normal". To top this off today I stupidly walked out of my after-class 10 minute detention because it was wrongly given to me, which is going to result in a full detention, which will probably result in my dad taking my computer to the tip and contacting the school anyway. I regret it now but it was just one of those spare-of-the-moment things.

Automaton
03-04-2010, 02:35 PM
if part of your depression is girl problems... well I don't really know what to do about it.

Haven't had a girlfriend in over 3 years and doubt I ever will sometimes. So no, it's not girl problems.

Scarecrow
03-04-2010, 05:49 PM
try taking up aikido, and taking it seriously

it's heaps of fun and it will blow your mind (i'm not kidding, the techniques i learned there are mind boggling in their effectiveness and simplicity). half the art is learning to have a positive outlook on life, and it's very difficult not to with the people that will be learning with you. i took up aikido, and it has given me a viewpoint that means i never have a reason to be unhappy again.

Miccool
03-04-2010, 06:12 PM
Yeah, I kinda have depression too. (I think anyway). And suicide is shit scary, I wouldn't exactly call those who do it pussies.

Flood
03-04-2010, 06:14 PM
I have the same problem, and I'm 13 so I'm also assuming it's puberty. I find myself blowing things out of proportion A LOT. ie, yell at my parents for no reason, and basically just ****ing raging at every little thing that happens, as in dropping something on my foot, hitting my head on something, ect. So the past month I've been forcing myself to look at things more positively and I've been feeling a lot better.

Gavel
03-04-2010, 06:18 PM
sorry if the music seems inappropriate to the topic. just thought it would get you in a less depressed mood :\

-Hawk-
03-05-2010, 11:32 AM
I have the same kind of problems. I'm not overweight, but actually short, which can be kind of bad for guys, and I'm a tad underweight too. Yea, I never get many dates and stuff like that... I have some of those friends too... they're not real friends, they're just buds.

Well... to me a girl problem is not having a girlfriend really... Glad you're not bothering that much though. =]
By the way, if you need to talk to someone, PM me/ask me for my Yahoo/MSN.

Mantha
03-05-2010, 11:39 AM
Best poll music up until now.

Oh and what everyone else said.

Automaton
03-05-2010, 11:53 AM
Don't worry, I won't worry about a thing, cuz every little thing guna be alright :)

I'll get over it I guess.

Exile
03-05-2010, 01:17 PM
But I feel that I do have things to be depressed about.

Oh, come on.

You're the person that said you could comfortably live off of mcdonalds if you needed to, if you're overweight then start eating healthy. Exercise, instead of spending 4 hours a day on the computer. That's nothing to be depressed about.

Your dad sounds like a hardass but things could be a LOT worse, my girlfriend's mom is constantly belittling her, threatens to fire her for no reason (she's a manager where she works), and has never once been proud of her getting straight A's and getting a full scholarship. She pays for literally everything, her parents haven't given her any financial help at all. And her parents used to beat her to the point where she'd be knocked unconscious. It doesn't make your situation any better but she's still one of the most positive people I know, there's not much reason that you have to be depressed because of it.

Not to be a dick but it really just sounds like you need to get over yourself.

‹berschall
03-06-2010, 03:25 PM
try taking up aikido, and taking it seriously

it's heaps of fun and it will blow your mind (i'm not kidding, the techniques i learned there are mind boggling in their effectiveness and simplicity). half the art is learning to have a positive outlook on life, and it's very difficult not to with the people that will be learning with you. i took up aikido, and it has given me a viewpoint that means i never have a reason to be unhappy again.

I want to learn more.



Also, I went through the same shit and I know how you feel. And to be honest, it just passed. It suck a while and it did get nasty but it eventually just went away and as said before, I wondered what the hell I was thinking. Phases like this just make you stronger in the end.

StrunG
03-06-2010, 03:59 PM
Solid edit with the poll music.

Don't worry too much about it man, everyone goes through a similar phase. Especially on the friends situation. It seems like tons of people have the same feeling that they like to hang out with their friends at school and stuff but barely ever do anything with them on the weekends and they never really have deep conversations or anything like that. I've heard plenty say that you make your lifelong friends in college and they barely even talk to their old high school friends.

And yeah, like Exilement said: stay active. Keep yourself busy with lots of activities and hobbies. If you feel self-conscious about your weight, start exercising. You don't necessarily have to go buy a gym membership. Just go for long jogs and then do pushups and situps at home when you have free time or before you go to bed.

Also I have plenty of really chill but up-beat songs to share if you want any. This one has been putting me in a really good mood lately:

width="425" height="344"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWNJCa0fqQI

It's probably not the best example, but I've been listening to it a lot for the past couple weeks.

‹berschall
03-06-2010, 05:52 PM
**** yeah, Lay me Down is awesome. I'd also love to take a look at your other stuff though.

StrunG
03-06-2010, 08:27 PM
http://www.barefoottruth.com/?s=media&act=listen&album=Threads
^click on Spoonful. It's really fitting for this thread

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Cwoo2R4Xg

http://ia361301.us.archive.org/22/items/throwback2004-11-01.flac16/throwback2004-11-01d1t07_64kb.mp3
^sorry, I couldn't find any videos or mp3s of the studio version. Still sounds pretty good live, though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYso6rHSf1M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uJkH0tK7Jg&feature=channel

Orion
03-07-2010, 12:54 AM
Why not join a gym? Or just buy some weights? It'll get your mind off of your problems and you'll be doing something good for your body while your at it.

Also yeah, music will completely change your outlook. Just listening to something that makes your feel good or inspired can be enough to change your entire outlook on life.

Itll pass man. So don't sweat it.

2-D
03-07-2010, 01:24 AM
reggae is shitty music

Tovarich Ivanov
03-07-2010, 01:39 AM
really yeah it's some stupid.. all this 'bob marley and maytals, ub40 and... another junk' it's words 'lalala problems lalala relax'.. rock or rap works better. and bigger.

Devour
03-07-2010, 01:50 AM
u b trollin

Gavel
03-07-2010, 07:42 AM
i've never wanted to murder a russian before. now i know what so many people have against commies. well, other than the fact that your type of economy is detrimental to ours

also, 2-D can suck one

2-D
03-07-2010, 08:09 AM
most people can suck one
some can suck more then one, at once.
but all those can't add up to how much reggae sucks

Gavel
03-07-2010, 01:18 PM
you're right. it can't add up to how much reggae sucks, because it doesn't. so stop trolling. no one cares about what you think

ScatMan
03-09-2010, 06:53 PM
That's what I'm thinking (I'm 15). I just didn't think it could have this much of an effect... I mean my life isn't all too great, but I didn't think it would be bad enough to make me feel like this.
I don't think it's puberty. I've extensively read through some medical dictionaries (mother is a CNA) and puberty usually affects males from the ages of 11 to 13-14. If you're still going through it, then that's a little odd. Maybe got a hormonal dysfunction. As for everything else, I know what you mean, I'm in a similar situation. Just go out and run or something. Join a gym, cook, go shooting. Do SOMETHING.