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Peppar
04-29-2010, 03:07 PM
A preview of a story. I do not know what the name of it is yet. My first try at Literature. Here we go.


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"It was dark and stormy that night, I was at home quietly sitting on my leather couch. Undisturbed. It was still raining, I watched as another lightning bolt shot from the sky. The storm seemed to me as ominous. Like evil is lurking at every corner... "Looks like Zeus is angry tonight, Huh?" "Quite angry, I suppose." I replied.
That was my brother, Jake. He jokes around a lot, But you do NOT want to get him pissed. I learned that the hard way.

I should probably tell that story.

So, it was the summer last year. And me and Jake were having a water balloon fight, I decided to fill a
balloon with ketchup. Too bad that he was wearing his new shirt. I hid behind the house, And threw with all my might at Jake. Whoops. The storm raged on throughout the night, until morning.



Chapter 2
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Sunlight was streaming through my wooden paneled window. My alarm clock went off the same time I was getting up. I screamed, Then my foot slid on the floor and my head clonked on the side of my bed. "Ouch" I managed to mutter. I slowly carried myself downstairs, I would have slept later, If the fact that alarm clock was not blaring so loud. And my brother was obsessed with Guitar hero.
He was playing his favorite song. "Bringing down the house" By the talking heads. I have nothing against the song, I just do not liked the fact that my brother was making those faces like he was having a nervous breakdown while he was playing it. I dragged myself over to the computer, And started animating in pivot. Pivot is hard to master. But you will get the hang of it.
My brother was still playing guitar hero, then finished later on.











More updates soon.

Zed
04-29-2010, 03:14 PM
You have a tendency to post things that you've only just started, don't you? It's like your five-frame animations - we need more before we can judge whether it's good or not. So yes, I want you to finish. That way there'll be something to look at here ;)

Scarecrow
04-29-2010, 03:56 PM
A preview of a story. I do not know what the name of it is yet. My first try at Literature. Here we go.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It was dark and stormy that night, I was at home quietly sitting on my leather couch. Undisturbed. It was still raining, I watched as another lightning bolt shot from the sky. The storm seemed to me as ominous. Like evil is lurking at every corner... "Looks like Zeus is angry tonight, Huh?" "Quite angry, I suppose." I replied.





It is kinda short. I wanted to know if you wanted me to finish.

"finish"? you've barely written anything, there isn't anything there that is at a point where "finishing" is even close to an option

Sumfink
04-29-2010, 04:06 PM
"It was a dark and stormy night..."
No wait, that's too cliche, better switch some words around.

"It was dark and stormy that night."
Much better! :D

Keep in mind that I know nothing about writing, but...
This is a perfect place for imagery, to imprint the setting in the reader's mind and draw them in. What you have now is a decription about a house we know nothing about other than that it has a leather sofa in it, a generic storm, and a random reference to Greek mythology. MOAR!

Peppar
04-29-2010, 05:53 PM
Update at top. now for the easytoon section.

ScatMan
04-29-2010, 06:20 PM
That's not a chapter. That's a fraction of a chapter.
MOAR SUBSTANCE
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/52/Kyle_Moar.jpg

Peppar
04-30-2010, 04:26 PM
Very small update.