PDA

View Full Version : Trying writing :D



flamedude
03-30-2012, 03:58 PM
Aidan Smith
At 16, Aidan Smith leads an apparently charmed life. He has schoolyard popularity, sporting ability and, well, he's good with the ladies. A tall, muscular and cool character, he tends to have two sides to himself. He is a social creature when around other adolecents, but around adults, especially teachers and parents, he is the perfect young man. Despite having it all, he feels like his life is quite hollow and incomplete and often feels quite lonely.
Alonso Malamanger
"I have the best family possible", Alonso speels to everyone alike, "two gorgeous daughters and [he whispers hintingly] a very good looking wife."
He is very much the family man, spending as much of his spare time with them as possible. Well, with the exception of 18 at the golf course with his mates of course.
His job has been very succesful, known as a loyal and dependable employee but Alonso has dreams. He wishes to escape the chores of being merely a minion in an army-esque force and start his own business. He has the skill, the expertise and the money to do it. He plans to be a sterotypical rich and cocky businessman, but he needs to sort out his hidden secret first...


Maddex Marcelino
Maddex is a multi-billionare steel tycoon who made his money through utmost difficulties and barriers. Who started his company, Maddex Steels way back in 1983. He is a Big Winner and has amazing leadership qualities. But the sad thing is that he is 52 years old and not married, and as no children, so there is a big shadow of uncertainity of who his steel empire will go to on his death.

Kadence Harper
She is a 23 year old women and is a prolific electric violen player, but her talent is yet to be identified. She is currently toured with a famous band call Absolute Apocalypse as their electric violenist but was fired after she was caught smoking pot one night and was unable to play at a critical live act at New York. She has since been on the roads, playing violen at various clubs.

Just the character profiles.

killakam98
04-17-2012, 04:10 PM
Meh.


User was infractioned. --The Devvie

walksmanknight
04-17-2012, 04:13 PM
IN SOVIET russia stairs fall on you -rade

Cook
04-17-2012, 04:23 PM
The characters seem very stereotypical and cookie-cutter. From the first sentence of each one, I can pretty much guess what the rest will say.

Try focusing more on the backstory, IE, why the character is the way they are.

Philito
04-17-2012, 05:56 PM
your characters life's seem so happy regardless if they wan't something they don't have

flamedude
06-03-2012, 07:52 AM
Hmm, didn't realize I had gotten comments, so I left this thread to die. But I was reading some of the stories and saw this.

I was going to re-write the profiles with this CC but I feel uninspired. Do you guys think you could link me something that might help me out?

Cook
06-03-2012, 09:20 AM
Well, I could tell you something I do.

Get a person, and write extremely basic characteristics as in, "He's greedy" or "He's dumb". Next, make up a story for this character, and by that I mean just write general things that happen to him, like "He works at a factory and gets fired. Then he joins a strike union". After that, work your character profile into the storyline you just made, and make your character's personality affect the events in the storyline. Thus, you have a plot.

flamedude
06-03-2012, 12:02 PM
Alaiba Coles: She's smart. She was always in the gifted classes in her schools, she graduated from Yale University. So from this point on I'd just be kind of getting characters into the storyline? I'll make around four or 5 new ones and I'll post them here. :)