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View Full Version : Prologue of my new book.



Devour
04-23-2012, 01:57 PM
I'm starting another book, and instead of self publishing/online publishing this one, I'm going to try going for a real company once it's done.
So it's about a girl who can see five seconds into the future. She gets abducted by this secret organization that's like the SCP Foundation (http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-series), and the story basically revolves around her trying to escape. As well as a whole bunch of other cool stuff that happens along the way.

So the beginning is a little bit boring and the characters seem shallow, but I did this on purpose. It's made to surprise the hell out of you once the real story kicks in.

There’s a girl here, surrounded by friends and happily chatting away. She’s graduating today, and underneath that gown of hers is a dress that she believes is absolutely perfect. She’s ecstatic, and almost unable to believe that a life as good as hers could be allowed to exist.
She’s brilliant, too. All kinds of universities have sent her acceptance letters, and one of them includes the Harvard Law School. That’s the one she plans to go to. Her life is laid out in front of her, and she believes that absolutely nothing is going to get in the way of that.
This girl has a reason for all this brainpower. Her eyes constantly watch and calculate everything around her, as she watches the brief futures of every moving thing. They appear from the air like blurry frames from a stop-motion film, before hardening into existence as the future becomes the present. She can see five seconds into another person’s future, and she can see her own as well; constantly flickering and changing as she reacts to everything that’s about to happen. Her mind has grown powerful and quick-thinking as a result.
This girl is me. Allisandra.
Before I begin, I’d like you to understand something. Right now, I have no idea how I’m going to describe everything as it happens in a single line of events, when the future exists simultaneously. Honestly, how do I explain how I can see a friend of mine trip on her gown, before reaching forward and grabbing her before she began to fall? Her painful future is scribbled out of existence, and replaced by a new one, while that becomes the present and a new future is laid out at the same time. Living and talking in two separate periods of time is the norm for me, but I can only say one thing at a time here. I couldn’t possibly describe what I see and what I feel, or even how it feels to see my future self in front of me. And how I hear things from the future… I don’t know how I hear what’s about to be said. I mainly rely on sight, but it happens anyways. I just know.
But despite all this, I have a lot of talking to do. All I can do is the best I can.
Like I said, I’m graduating right now. I’m graduating. Right now. I can’t get over the fact that school—something I’ve done and lived with nearly every single day for so long—is over now. Today is the last day that I’d see the stone walls of my gym, or that single foam ball that somehow got stuck in-between two lights. I might never see the faces of my middle-aged and smiling teachers again, and from now on, I wouldn’t be a kid anymore. In my opinion at least. Neither will any of my friends, or any of the people I’ve seen in my classes all year long.
Right now, we’re all just bustling around, trying to find our seats on the gym’s stage. It isn’t a whole lot of kids—we were a pretty small school—but things were cramped. We’re all just excited and nervous, and we can’t stop talking to each other because we know that we won’t be seeing each other much in the next couple of weeks. Things are going to be busy, lots of us are going to move, we’re all going to different colleges and universities, and nothing is for sure anymore.
But at the same time, it’s still so cool that I’m graduating. Holy cow.
The beginning of the ceremony goes by pretty quickly, once we’re all sat down and the introductions are over. We all waited our turns until we could speak; where a couple of students read out speeches to a crowd of parents and relatives that filled our small gym to capacity. Others just say a few short words, but out of habit I find myself mumbling to all of them anyways, speaking the words of their pieces of paper before they’re spoken. It passes the time, but it doesn’t do anything to contain my excitement.
They’re all the same. All about how excited they are to be graduating, and how thankful they are to their teachers for doing all that they did. My own speech will be a little bit similar, but that’s not the message I want to give to these people. I have thanks to give to these people that are much larger than that.
After each person finishes, our spokesperson squints up to his little list of graduates, and reads the name of the next student who would go up and speak. Each time I tense up, hoping not to be chosen, and I only end up becoming even tenser once I learn that I’d have to wait in anticipation a little bit longer.
But sure enough, it eventually is my turn to awkwardly shuffle up onto the stage— every bored and curious and proud set of eyes in the room boring holes into my back—and deliver my own speech. My nerves are jangling like a gazillion frayed lights on a Christmas tree, and I stare at my dreadful sheet of paper that bears a speech that must be awkward and overly dramatic. I cringe. Why didn’t I just write a normal goodbye like everyone else did?
I clear my throat a couple of times, before reluctantly starting. My face feels like it’s burning up, and my voice feels much too quiet.
“My name is Allisandra Turner. I—” I’m already out of air. I cough, before starting again awkwardly.
Or I don’t. As nervous as I am, I feel like I have to change every little thing about my future. Everything needs to be perfect, and I can’t let myself mess up. I see the awkward moment coming five seconds early, and make sure to take a deep breath first.
“My name is Allisandra Turner. I’ve lived in Shellbrook my whole life, and a town this small means that a lot of you, if not all of you, know me. I’m not speaking here just because I want to thank my parents for supporting me, and my teachers for dealing with my nonsense, although I really am thankful for that.” Much better. I cast my eyes out into the crowd, and I can see where my parents sit from here. They’re smiling at me, obviously close to tears and full of pride. Hanging on every word and thinking that everything I did was perfect. I smile back, and I look away quickly before the sight made me start crying too. “What I want to say here, is that I’m thanking you guys. Every single one of you. I’m not normal like the rest of you, and even though it’s handy to see a little bit into the future, being so different was truly difficult for me. It was hard not to think that something was wrong with me, when I accidentally interrupted people with answers to questions not yet asked. Or when I made my friends feel like they couldn’t control their futures when I… offered them gum or something. Nobody likes that I knew what they’d choose before they said it.
“And yet… I can’t even begin to describe the good you all did for me by simply accepting me. You incredible people made me feel like I belonged here, and that I was just as normal as the rest of you. Not only was I accepted, but I was actually liked. It just blows me away.” Before I knew it, I was pouring my heart out with every word I said, and I just couldn’t help myself. A few tears slipped through my eyes despite my greatest efforts, and I fought to keep my composure. “Like my best friend, Jessica.” I looked for her in the crowd, and found her waving, with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her face. “When we first met, she thought that my ‘difference’ was the coolest thing in the whole world. We’d play doctor together, where she was a scientist and I was a test subject. It sounds weird at first, but it was the funnest thing ever, for both of us. We played with how I could see the future for hours and hours, and we both learned so much. We talked all the time about it, and her words were one of the biggest reasons that I really began to feel accepted here, and I can’t thank her enough for it.
“But there’s so many other people that I grew up with, too. James and Cassidy and Sean, and so much more people that I could never hope to pay back. You’re the best friends anyone could have asked for. Thank you so much, for everything.”
I paused for a bit to wipe my eyes, and a loud applause filled the gymnasium. I stared at the flurry of clapping hands below me, still smiling, and selfishly hoped that they would stop soon, so that I could get off of this stage. I had another page of writing to go, but my throat was tight and I couldn’t stop crying. Couldn’t stop the tears of happiness that were slowly forcing their way through. I skipped to the end.
“I’m going to be leaving in a couple of months, and going to Harvard. But I’m speaking to every single person in this room when I say that you’re welcome to stop by for a visit, any time you want.” I sniffled. “And if you ever need anything, feel free to ask. This town and this high-school have changed my life, and I will never be able to pay you back for what you’ve done. Thank you.”
I wiped my eyes one last time, accepted my graduation diploma from the school’s ancient principal, and scampered off the stage as the whole gym erupted into another applause, whistling and cheering me on. It only made me feel more awkward, but I couldn’t stop grinning and, to my horror, giggling like a twelve year old. I was given pats on the shoulder from my friends as I squeezed through rows of people to make it back to my chair, and Jessica nearly knocked me over as she embraced me in a huge hug.
As everything quiets down and the spokesperson calls the next former student up onto the stage, I’m in heaven. Things couldn’t have gone much better than they did, and I was giddy with excitement. Best of all, it looked like the rest of the night would be just as great. There was still the prom coming up, the after-grad, and a whole night of driving around town with a few of my closest friends.
It doesn’t take the power to see into the future to know that tonight would be a night to remember, and knowing that seems to affect how I’m seeing everything. Right now, it was like my entire life was going to turn out to be something incredible, and everything I could have hoped for was coming true. I felt like I was floating in the air, elated and simply loving my life.
The rest of the students did their speaking, and I waited through it patiently. My friends and I didn’t talk much out of respect for the kids up on that stage, and the next ten minutes go by quickly.
But as soon as it’s over and we’re all herded to the change rooms to get into our dresses, conversation is loud, and it’s about exactly what you’d expect it to be.
“Oh my God, aren’t you just excited?” Jessica’s babbling to me as we all surge through the change rooms, getting into our outfits as quick as possible. The prom is what everyone’s whole night is centered around, and it’s easy for me to tell. I’m more looking forward to our drive around town than the awkwardness of dancing with guys, but this is where my friend thrives. I politely nod and go along with her, even if I think she’s being more than a little ditzy. “At least three guys have asked me out already, and I think I know who I want to choose. And he’ll love the dress that I’ve chosen. How do you like it?”
She hasn’t opened her locker yet, but she’s about to. Her future self pulls out a white dress with flowing golden strips of cloth scattered along the bottom, and pulls it in front of her. In the present, I say, “It’s beautiful! Who’s the lucky guy who gets to dance with that?”
My friend grows a smug grin, and her future changes a bit; where she simply stares at the neatly folded dress of hers inside her gym locker instead. “I think it’s so cool that we can use your power that easily. It’s useful.” She says much too casually.
“No really. Tell me who it is, you silly goof.”
“Nope! You’re going to have to see. I have to enjoy knowing my decisions before you do when I can, you know?”
She has a point. “Oh, whatever. Put on your dress so that you can see how you look, too!” I order her playfully, before I strip off my graduation gown to reveal my own simple outfit beneath. It’s a dress, I guess, but the skirt is short and everything else is comfortable. I bought it more for the fact that I wouldn’t be tripping all over myself in a dance, than for anything else.
Jessica sticks her tongue out at me, and I smile as what she has to say about my own outfit appears in the future. As she sees that, her future changes once again, and a whole new scenario begins to unfold.
“You know, you’re much too modest.” She says instead. “You could probably get any guy in school, but you’re only wearing, what, a hundred-dollar dress? For shame, Alice.”
I wanted to spend even less, to be honest. “Even without a fancy dress, I could get a guy with my charms.” I flutter my eyelashes at her. “Or if that doesn’t work, I could always see it coming in the future and say something else instead. I’d keep trying that until I found something that made him fall in love on the spot.”
Jessica glares at me in mock jealousy.
For anyone else, it would drive them insane in days to keep up with two separate realities at once. I’ll try and break down what a single decision is like for me, for your understanding. It’s the reason why I’m saying all this, after all.
Say I’m, yeah, talking to some guy. If I decide that I’m going to tell him that his nose is scary-looking, and I’m really about to do it, then I’ll instantly see the next five seconds of what’s going to happen because of it. But if I don’t like how he’s going to react, I’ll decide to do something else. A new future is written instantly, and I see five seconds of life in less time than it takes to blink. And I’m not mentioning that simply seeing how I’m about to act will make me do something different than what’s predicted, just in an unconscious attempt to not do what my future wants me to do. That changes everything too. New futures are constantly being written and rewritten for me, and on bad days it can get ridiculous. Think strobe lights, or something. It gets especially if I’m in a situation where there seems to be no right answer to a problem, and I have to go over a situation again and again and again and again.
It’s scary to think what condition my mind would be in if it wasn’t as ridiculously powerful as it is. Or how much smarter I would be if I had all this brainpower, and no future-sight to weigh it down. Not that I’d want to lose it for any reason.
Anyways, the official part of graduation is over now. The rest of our activities are being moved outside, and there we’d have a whole lot more room to dance and hang out underneath the setting sun. Pretty much everyone is bustling through the exit doors of our gym, and into the outside, and only a couple of parents and graduates hang around, idly talking about their futures.
Jessica and I meet up with my closest friends—James and Cassidy and Sam and a few others—and we walk into the warm air of the outdoors. Music is playing in the center of our track field, and the air smells like grass. I like it.
I’m still giddy from the fact that I’m graduated now, and I’m trying to feel more excited for the prom and after-grad because everyone else is crazy about it. I know Jessica’s going to expect me to dance with a couple of guys, and that Sam’s probably going to ask me to dance as well. But I just want to sit on the grass and talk, while we still can.
The frame of mind I’m in is a pretty dull one, I guess. I’m not wary, not alert, and totally unprepared for any kind of danger. Who would have been? My life for the past decade has been happy and pleasantly boring.
So I’m taken completely by surprise when I see the flashbang fly through the air, and land just five feet away from me. It explodes in an indescribable shower of white. I’m blinded and deafened and thrown off my feet, completely disoriented. I land roughly on my shoulder as everybody screams in terror.
Five seconds in the past, I see this coming. I barely have enough time to scream, “Flashbang!” as I dive backwards, pulling down Jessica before I cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut against the earth.
Not that that did any good. Everybody looks around frantically for danger instead of diving for cover, before the grenade explodes and everyone in ten feet of me but Jessica and Sean are blinded and deafened, and they fall to the ground. Screaming is everywhere, and Jessica is clinging to me as she screams, “What’s going on?” to me, again and again. It’s obvious she can’t hear anything. Sean is fine and he’s looking at me, waiting for another shout or a warning.
I try to calm Jessica down, but something even worse appears in the future. A squad of six armed men burst through the doors of my school, and they run straight at me, shouting orders for me to stop where I am. They aren’t a SWAT team, but I can’t tell what else they could possibly be. And why are they after me?
My terrified brain frantically tries to figure out what to do, looking at everything around me and trying to figure out a plan of action. I’m wide in the open, which is really bad. I can either run back into the gym and risk being within five feet of those strange men, or run through the confused crowd of people in hopes of losing them, before I made a run for it across the fields and into the cover of the suburbs.
I decide the latter. Jessica is still yelling at me as I pull her with me, running as fast as I can into the mess of people that can’t decide to run, or help the people that were on the ground and screaming in fear. Sean follows, giving a yelp as he sees the squad of armed men kick through the doors and give chase.
They call for me by name, ordering me to get down, and it just terrifies me even more. I run even faster.
One man is yelling through a loudspeaker, and he shouts, “Everybody get down on the ground, now!”
To my horror, almost everybody obeys. We’re just a small town, after all. The sight of this armed squad terrifies them as much as it terrifies me, and they wouldn’t want to do anything to make them use those scary-looking guns.
My cover is gone, and even worse, the apparent leader of that strike team raises his gun, right at me.
When he fires the weapon goes off in short bursts of air, and as my future self gets struck I realize that they’re tranquilizer darts. I jerk to the right and three objects whizz by my side, missing by what felt like millimeters. Jessica gets hit, and she must have thought that they were real bullets. She falls to the ground in more terror than pain, and her screaming intensifies before she abruptly goes quiet. Unconscious.
I couldn’t save her if I wanted to, and the frustration nearly brings tears to my eyes. It’s me that they want, and not my friends. I hated that she had gotten hurt.
All the while, that gun is still firing. Another burst whizzes underneath my arms, and at some point Sean gets behind me. He’s hit too, and he runs with me for a few more precious seconds before he’s knocked out. He hits his face hard against the ground, rolling over his shoulder before stopping with his limbs at an awkward angle.
The team behind me works with deadly efficiency. Two lightly armored men are sprinting at me while I’m forced to dodge shots, and they’re gaining quickly.
But that doesn’t matter. Eventually, there was nothing I could do as a dart imbeds itself in my back, while the other two plant themselves into my sides. There was nothing I could have done about it.
At the same time I’m tackled by one of the men, planted into the ground with my hands behind my back and my face into the dirt. I can’t do anything but scream and kick frantically as my body begins to numb and stop moving entirely.
The last thing I think is, Why me? Before my vision disappears entirely.

Ashlander
04-23-2012, 04:44 PM
Dibs on book cover! There will be an unpleasant handjob for any challengers.

GZento
04-23-2012, 04:55 PM
Nice, very nice. reminds me of that movie nicholas cage was in where he could also see into the future, except this seems a little more interesting

Animint
04-25-2012, 02:20 AM
You are amazing.. When did you start to write?

Devour
04-26-2012, 09:22 PM
Oh man, didn't see any of these replies until now. I thought my entry was being ignored :c

Dibs on book cover! There will be an unpleasant handjob for any challengers.
That would be fantastic. Your last book cover was great, and everyone who saw it said that they'd buy the book on the spot if they saw something like that in a bookstore.
I have the plot of the book planned out. What if I gave you the enough of a gist of the story for you to make this next book cover? And the title of course.

Nice, very nice. reminds me of that movie nicholas cage was in where he could also see into the future, except this seems a little more interesting
Thank you :) It's only going to get better.

You are amazing.. When did you start to write?
:o:o:o:o:o
I started writing when I was eleven years old. I'm 17 now. Thanks for the feedback, guys :)

walker90234
06-11-2012, 08:51 AM
For some reason I decided not to try the self publishing route. I have however entered the writers of the future competition a number of times: I'd highly recommend trying it, as with the book market so competitive (is it 3 in every 1,000 seeing the light of print?) it is a real boost to getting your stuff read. I plan on winning it before I leave Uni, thats my life goal :P, then I can get to my novel.

Irian
06-15-2012, 12:35 PM
woah that's really awesome so far. Seems like it would really draw a teen audience