View Full Version : FIDST Vs SJCRPV

10-26-2012, 08:05 PM
I can't get the poll to be made, so instead just comment saying who you think should win. I hope you guys enjoy the battles!


So, I challenged SJCRPV to a wRHG battle and he accepted, and now, here is the thread for our battle :). The due date is sunday, but I have finished my half and he is almost done with his. He will post his part when he is done, so, here is my part.
*Ryan and his team were right in front of the large boat, staring at it and noticing everything to be noticed. There was a ladder on the left side of the boat that led from the top of the boat to down below the water. Ryan thought about using that ladder to get in, but then realized that it would be too risky. There were bullet holes on the sides of the ship and cracks in the metal all over. What seemed to be a watch tower stood tall in the center of the boat. Just the tower itself made the boat even more intimidating.
*“That’s one hell of a boat.” Corporal Steve Jones muttered.
*“Sure is, and we’re taking ever life on it.” Ryan answered back.
*“So how we gonna do this?”
*“Didn’t you pay attention when we told all of you the mission?”
*“Hey, I needed my rest before the mission”
*Ryan rolled his eyes and began to explain the mission again. Corporal Jones hardly ever actually paid attention and would listen when someone was giving orders. Ryan did not like having Jones on the team, but something about him made Ryan NEED him.
*‘Maybe it’s his skill’ Ryan thought.
*Then, the mission officially began. Staff Sergeant Ron Harris started the motor and the boat was off, almost flying on the water from the smooth and fast movement of the boat. The motor was nearly silent, definitely quiet enough that the members of the boat would not notice them.
*As the boat pulled up beside the much larger boat, Ryan noticed something. At the top of the watchtower was a sniper, in the sniper’s hand was a rifle, and it was pointer right at them. But Ryan noticed it too late.
*In the blink of an eye, Ron was shot in the skull and immediately fell off the boat. Corporal Jones reached in the water for the Staff Sergeant, but he was long gone. Jones turned to the watchtower and the last thing he saw was the flash from the barrel of the rifle.
*Ryan and Sergeant Sam O’Reilly were last on the boat. Ryan grabbed the rifle Ron Harris had, an M14. He quickly aimed at the sniper and shot him in the chest. But there was another sniper that shot at them. Ryan didn’t have time to shoot him too, instead both him and Nicks dove into the water and out of the boat. The next thing that happened nearly killed both of them.
*The boat exploded into a heaping ball of fire. Shrapnel flew everywhere and parts of the boat rained down on Ryan and Sam. The explosion pushed them deeper in the water, but they both swam up to the top of the water. Ryan and Sam both gasped for air. They had come up at the ladder. With that being Ryan’s only choice to live, he began to climb.
*Sam was right below Ryan, climbing as they went. They made it to the top of the ladder and they both immediately dove behind a stack of crates. Just as Ryan was about to move, two men that formed a patrol team passed by Ryan and Sam, not even noticing the two drenched soldiers behind the crates. Ryan ducked below the shadows of the crates. He moved behind them and silently took them both out.
*Sam came around the corner and walked quietly towards the two bodies. But just as he was about to grab a sub machine gun from one of them, a bullet flew straight through the side of his chest and into his heart. His dead body fell beside the other dead bodies, now looking like nothing more than a mere soldier that just got killed.
*Ryan shook his head to stop reliving that mission from a week ago, now staring at the gym. He had survived the mission and infiltrated the boat, but he didn’t like to remember the rest of that mission. Sam O’Reilly was his friend and a squad mate, and always he would stay both.
*Ryan moved over to the weights. There was a wide variety of weights. Everything from five pounds to two hundred pound weights was there in the left side of the gym. He lifted a twenty pound weight with his right hand and one with his left, it wasn’t much but he didn’t feel like lifting more. Ryan lifted both in a curl. The bars holding the weights were metal and the weights themselves were concrete with a plastic wrap around them.
*Sergeant Tom Nicks entered the room. Ryan nodded to him. Nicks approached Ryan. He lifted two thirty pound weights and started lifting both in a curl motion, the same as Ryan.
*“You did good back there, Steel.” The Sergeant told him, referring to the mission at Fort Bragg.
*“Thanks Sergeant, you did great back there too.” Ryan replied. “But of course, I did better.”
*They both laughed.
*“Well, how about we see just who’s better at fighting hand-to-hand.”
*“I like that idea...”
*Suddenly the alarm lights in the gym began flashing red. A loud ringing began and a voice began speaking:
*“Warning! Security breach! This is not a drill, repeat, this is not a drill!”
*The lights and ringing continued. Ryan looked at Tom. They both ran out the door to the gym. Ryan ran back in, grabbed his backpack and left the room. Ryan began to form an HK UMP45 with his backpack.
*“I need to get to the gun hall to get my rifle!” Tom exclaimed.
*“No, we don’t need to. I can form you a rifle with my backpack.” Ryan answered.
*Ryan’s UMP finished forming. He grasped it in his right hand and they continued moving. He put in for an M16A4 to be formed. After running through the base more, looking for the “invader”, they came to a dead end. Ryan and Tom turned around, Tom now wielding his M16A4 and Ryan with his UMP45.
*Suddenly an explosion blew the ceiling down and it collapsed in that spot. Ryan and Tom were twenty feet from the destroyed ceiling. Tom brought the butt of the M16A4 into his shoulder. He lifted the rifle and stared down into the sights. Ryan lifted the UMP45, but he was nearly as paranoid as Tom. The smoke from the collapsing ceiling cleared up and a lone figure stood on top of it all. After focusing more, Ryan could make out every detail on the figure, and could now see that it was a man.
*“Hello Battlefield” The man said.
*“Who the hell are you?!” Ryan asked angrily. “And what makes you think I won’t blow your brains across this hall right now?”
*Ryan aimed his sights on the man’s face.
*“You are Battlefield, aren’t you? I was supposed to fight someone by that name today at wRHG, but no one showed up and they told me that you should be here.”
*“Ryan, what is he talking about man? What’s wRHG?” Tom asked Ryan.
*“It’s nothing important Tom. And you, you must be... What was that name again... Oh yeah, your name is Sebastian.” Ryan said.
*“A military facility, I’ve never fought in one. Guess there’s always a first.” This man named Sebastian grinned.
*‘Take out the one known as Tom now and we can get the real fight started.’ Daicilus, the demon inside of Sebastian thought.
*Daicilus and Sebastian could talk to each other through thought.
*A grin formed on Sebastian’s face and he ran at Tom. Sebastian hit Tom in the face over and over. Tom was now on the ground, pushed against the wall. Ryan attempted to shoot Sebastian, but Sebastian threw Tom in the way and Tom was hit twice in the back of his left shoulder. Tom yelled in pain.
*‘Finish him off!’ Daicilus yelled inside Sebastian’s head.
*Sebastian pulled Tom’s gun off the ground and slammed it against Tom’s skull. Tom collapsed on the ground, unconscious from the hit. Sebastian turned to Ryan.
*‘Now onto the real target, let’s get Ryan!’ Daicilus told Sebastian.
*Sebastian charged at Ryan. Ryan shot two rounds into his right arm. Sebastian swung his left arm at Ryan. Ryan jumped back to dodge the blow. Sebastian swung at Ryan again, but this time with his bleeding right arm. Some blood spurted on Ryan’s face. Ryan wiped the blood away and it fell to the floor. Sebastian ran at Ryan, bent over some and trying to grab him by the waist to have control over his body. Ryan kneeled down and grabbed Sebastian by the chest. He lifted Sebastian in the air and then threw him against the double-doors to the gym. The door flung open and Sebastian fell inside the gym. Ryan walked towards him. Sebastian stumbled to get up, but after some trying, he stood correctly and turned to run. There was a “wrestling ring” in the middle of the gym that could be used for practicing hand-to-hand by soldiers stationed at the base. That’s where Sebastian was headed.
*Ryan shot bursts of rounds at Sebastian. Sebastian dodged them all. Sebastian entered the ring and stood in a wrestling stance. Ryan approached the ring and returned the UMP45 to the backpack. Without Sebastian seeing, he put in for a 1911 Colt .45 to be formed. Ryan placed his backpack down beside the ring. Ryan entered the ring and stood about five feet away from Sebastian. Ryan noticed that somehow Sebastian had bandaged his wound.
*“So, you’re the fighter with the demon inside of you, right?” Ryan asked, trying to get Sebastian off guard.
*Ryan had an idea and that was to get Sebastian thinking about anything else and then Ryan could strike.
*“Yes, his name is Daicilus.” Sebastian answered.
*‘What do you think you’re doing you fool? He’s trying to trick you! Take him down now, he won’t expect it at all! Do it now!!!’ Daicilus yelled louder than he had ever before in Sebastian’s mind.
*Daicilus continued yelling at Sebastian as loud as he could. Sebastian fell to his knees and his ears began to bleed. Ryan became confused.
*“Shut up! I can do this myself!!!” Sebastian yelled at Daicilus.
*“The hell is wrong with you?” Ryan asked Sebastian.
*‘I’m gonna do this one myself!!!’ Daicilus yelled at Sebastian.
*Then everything stopped. For a moment, Sebastian thought Daicilus was done, and Ryan thought he would actually get his fight, but only one of them was right, and neither of them were going to be happy with the outcomes of each of their “thoughts”.
*Suddenly Sebastian’s eyes turned red and his voice grew deep and dark.
*“That’s what you get when you don’t listen, Sebastian!” Sebastian spoke, or at least that’s who’s body it came from.
*“I’m guessing you’re Daicilus..?” Ryan questioned.
*“Yes, that’s me.” Daicilus now grinned.
*Daicilus had “overrun” Sebastian’s body and now he was in control. Daicilus ran at Ryan. Ryan punched him in the face. Daicilus stumbled back.
*“It’s going to take more than that to take me down.” Daicilus laughed.
*“Well I definitely have more than that!” Ryan smiled.
*Ryan jumped out of the ring. He grabbed the 1911 resting at the top of the backpack. Ryan held it up and aimed it at Daicilus’ chest. He fired off two rounds, one directly in the middle of his chest and one slightly to the left of the middle. But Daicilus wasn’t down, and he didn’t even look to be hurt! Daicilus just continued standing and facing Ryan.
*“Nice try, but that still isn’t going to stop me! I’m not like anything you’ve ever seen!”
*“I’ve seen some things more terrible than you can imagine, so let’s just see if you can top any of what I’ve seen!” Ryan said.
*Daicilus jumped off the ring and attempted to hit him. Ryan dodged the attack and countered it by hitting Daicilus in the head with his elbow. Daicilus screamed and his eyes returned to their original color. Now Daicilus didn’t seem to even be there anymore, it looked to be Sebastian again.
*“Is that you Sebastian?” Ryan asked.
*“Not yet it isn’t.” Daicilus spoke with his deep, dark voice.
*Ryan slammed the handle of the 1911 into Daicilus’ skull. There was another scream from Daicilus and Daicilus said something, but Ryan didn’t know what he said. Daicilus fell to his knees and began slamming his fist against the ground, still screaming. Ryan kicked him in the face hard, and Daicilus fell back against the ground.
*Daicilus sat up.
*“That better be you Sebastian.” Ryan said.
*“It’s me. Now, do you want to get this fight really started?” Sebastian said.
*“I’ve never wanted to more.”
*Sebastian attempted to throw a punch into Ryan’s chest. He landed the punch and Ryan held in the pain. Ryan punched multiple times into Sebastian’s stomach and chest, and to end the sequence of punches, one punch right in the nose. There was a snap and blood spewed like a fountain out of his nose. Sebastian wiped it away and punched Ryan in the stomach. Ryan kicked him in the face. Sebastian fell to the ground. Ryan lent him a hand. Sebastian grabbed it and as Ryan was lifting him, Ryan punched him in the face and he fell back to the ground.
*“Oh, you’re fighting dirty. I can do that too.” Sebastian told him.
*Sebastian brought his leg up and kicked Ryan in the face. Ryan backed up and put his hand over his face. Sebastian stood up and attempted to hit Ryan. Ryan caught his wrist and twisted. Sebastian pulled back and kneed Ryan in the leg.
*“That was cheap” Ryan laughed.
*“What can I say, we are fighting dirty, aren’t we?” Sebastian said.
*Sebastian took a swing at Ryan’s head. Ryan ducked and slammed his fist into Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian turned around just from reaction of the hit. Ryan kicked him in the back and his face fell against the hard gym floor.
*Ryan turned and dashed for his backpack. He reached his hand into the front pocket and pulled out two small pills. He placed them in his mouth and swallowed. Now he just needed to wait for the strength to rise.
*Sebastian came running at him. Ryan turned quickly and hit him with an uppercut. Sebastian flew back about five feet and hit the floor hard. The pills were definitely starting to work. As soon as Sebastian was back up, he was instantly down again. Ryan would take him down every time he got up.
*Sebastian noticed the 1911 lying on the ground across the room. Sebastian leaped up and ran for the handgun. Ryan hit him down and stopped him from getting the gun. Sebastian got up again and tried to get it a second time. Ryan clotheslined him as he passed.
*Many soldiers entered the gym. They were all armed and they all stood at the ready.
*“What took you guys so long?” Ryan asked them.
*”The hall was sealed off and it took a while to get that stuff all cleaned up.” One of the soldiers said. “Do you have control of this situation?”
*“Yes, but Sergeant Nicks is seriously injured out in the hall.”
*“We already have him taken care of. He’s going to make it.”
*“That’s good.”
*Ryan walked over to Sebastian. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the soldiers. One of the soldiers moved up and held Sebastian in place.
*“Is this the hostile?” The soldier asked.
*“No, it’s your mother...” Ryan said sarcastically. “Yes, of course it’s the hostile.”
*The soldier pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He fastened one cuff on Sebastian’s right hand. Then, just when he was about to fasten the second cuff, Sebastian fought back. He stomped down on the soldier with the handcuffs’ foot. The soldier let go of the handcuffs and let out a scream of pain as Sebastian pushed down his foot harder on the soldier’s.
*Sebastian turned and hit the soldier with the back of his elbow, where it slammed against the soldier’s left temple. Again he yelled in pain. Sebastian hit the soldier with an uppercut to finish him off, leaving him neutralized so he can’t fight back. Sebastian reached down and pulled the soldier’s M9 out of his holster. Sebastian aimed it at the rest of the soldiers.
*“Listen up, anyone who moves will be shot!” Sebastian yelled as if he were in charge.
*“These are my soldiers you’re talking to...” A voice behind Sebastian said.
*Sebastian turned to see Ryan behind him with a baseball bat in hand. He hit Sebastian in the skull. Sebastian fell to the ground, coughing up blood.
*“You’re getting creative with those weapons now, aren’t you?”
*“You haven’t seen nothing yet, just wait.”
*Sebastian struggled to get up. He started to run away, going as fast as he could. Ryan threw some sort of shuriken at Sebastian. It stuck in the wall beside him. Sebastian pulled it out of the wall, confused as he stared at it.
*“Is...Is this a batarang?!” He nearly screamed.
*Ryan shrugged and threw another. Sebastian dodged that one too.
*“Are you freaking kidding me?!” Sebastian began to get angry.
*“Actually, it’s sort of funny...” Ryan laughed.
*Sebastian began to get angry, even though he wanted to laugh.
*“Oh no... Not again!” Sebastian worried.
*“Oh god... Please not Daicilus...” Ryan and Sebastian both knew what was about to happen.
*Sebastian went through his changing cycle again where he screamed and his eyes got bloodshot. Ryan just watched as it happened. He didn’t want Daicilus to come back, because he knew that would be putting his whole squad in danger. He needed to do something, and he needed to do it fast.
*Then he thought of it. A chocolate bar! That’s what his number one weakness was, CHOCOLATE! Something as simple as that, and he never even thought to try and use that weakness against him. How stupid he thought of himself now!
*Ryan reached into his pocket and pulled out a Hershey’s Chocolate Bar. Sebastian saw it and instantly stayed himself. Daicilus was now gone and he wasn’t going to be back for a while. Sebastian ambled towards Ryan.
*“This might be a little melted or it might not taste as well as it would have when I got it, but I think you should have it...” Ryan said as calm as he could so he wouldn’t “awaken” the monster inside Ryan.
*Sebastian looked at Ryan and slowly reached for the chocolate bar. He grasped it in his hand and stared down at in for a moment. It was like he hadn’t had a bite to eat for weeks and was surprised he actually got something to eat. Then, he slowly un-wrapped the chocolate bar and took a bite. A grin formed on his face.
*“Thank you so much.” Sebastian said. “You win.”
*“Yeah, well you got the prize.” Ryan smiled and patted Sebastian on the back. “Hey boys, there is no need to take Sebastian in. Let him go.”
*The soldiers nodded and let him pass. Sebastian left the military base and walked away, heading for the bus stop.
^^3,206 Words^^

10-28-2012, 01:12 PM
Ok. Sorry for taking so long to post it, but here it is.
Also, Crankuba, due to my lazyness I left the writing of this text to last days and wasn't able to come up with a proper beginning

Sebastian - Demon powers used to enhance physical abilities
Battlefield - Can create weapons and gadgets to help him in battle

------------ SJCRPV vs Battlefield -------------

I shut down the computer, not feeling like playing anything at the moment: No LoL; no Torchlight II and no Mark of the Ninja. I looked outside. It was clouded. I looked at the clock. It was twenty seven past two in the afternoon. Seemed like a good time for a run.
Completely recovered from the hospital, I was finally able to move as I wanted, fast, agilely and in the most fun way possible: by doing parkour along the way. But not the type where you needlessly do somersaults, wall spins, or wall climbs just to fall back down the moment after, I mean the type where you do your course in the fastest way possible. No show offs; no wasted movements; no stopping; just efficiency.
By climbing walls, dodging people, using poles to do sharp turns, jumping over obstacles and sliding under a large window that two guys were carrying across the sidewalk, I was on my way to a nice isolated place that I had found the day before while exploring the town. As I was getting close to it however, I felt like eating a bit of chocolate.
I was happily opening that delicious delicacy, when I got approached by a large, bulky man:

- Are you Sebastian, by any chance?

- No, sorry you must have the wrong person, my name is Carl. Who are you?

He didn’t seem convinced.

- Ryan Steel, I’m with the wRHG. I’m sorry but, by looking the photo on his file, you look an awful lot like him.

This guy came early, our battle was only supposed to be in 3 days, what’s the deal?

He probably just wants to finish the job as fast as possible and move on to the next – Claimed Daicilus

- Everyone in the world has at least someone who’s almost identical to him or herself. I’m just that person. I’m sure you’ll find him.

- I also recall that Sebastian had an odd fondness for chocolate so I wonder what would happen if I… - With a devious smile, he tried to grab my chocolate, so I dodged his hand out my small piece of heaven and spun around him, ending in his back.

- Fine. I’m Sebastian, what do you want? Our battle is only in three days.

- Nice to meet you! Call me Battlefield! – He gave me a strong pat in my back, which, due to the unexpectedness made me almost drop my chocolate. Thankfully, I didn’t.

- Nice to meet you too. Sorry, if I’m being a bit cold but, I wasn’t expecting so much friendliness. I doubt that all you wanted to do was getting to know me.

He put his arm around my neck as if he wanted to confide something to me and, as he pulled out a gun that apparently he was creating since the moment he saw me, he placed it right on my chin, telling me:

- And you would be right to assume that. Let’s just get this over with. I’m in a rush.

I raised my arms just to the level of my shoulders in a form of surrender

- Well, whatever it is you’re going to do, you’ll have to tell them that you’ll probably be… late!

I quickly used my closest hand to grab his wrist and with the other, I grabbed the gun and made it point to the sky, so no one would be accidentally injured. The sudden movements made him press the trigger twice, scaring people away, some of them even screaming. I attempted to keep pulling it up so it would eventually break his finger, but he released his grip on it, removing out of his blue backpack two more handguns as I pointed him the one I had stolen.

We stood there, staring at each other for five seconds with no one else around, until he said:

- There’s a higher chance of me shooting you than you shooting me, you know that right?

After a few moments of silence, I answered:

- True. If I did shoot you, it wouldn’t be somewhere lethal. So you would win. - I dropped the gun – Go on, shoot me then.
He seemed suspicious, but nonetheless, he fired.

Dodging to my left, I concentrated a bit of demonic energy in my feet and dashed towards him. Not wanting to hurt him too much, I punched him in the gut, followed by an arm bar that I used to steal another handgun, a kick to the back of his knee, making him lose his balance and finishing with a chop in the back of his head as I pointed my new weapon to the bottom of his spine while he fell down, kicking the other gun away.

- I may not be able to kill you, but I can still paralyze you.

- You wouldn’t have the guts to strap me to a wheelchair for the rest of my life, would you?

I hesitated for a few seconds and he took that opening to take remove a shotgun from his backpack, just about ready to shoot when a tall and bald man stopped us in a flash, taking our weapons and knocking us both out.
I woke up on one side of an arena. It seemed like the battleground was from the times of the Roman Empire: blood stained sand on the ground, tall stone walls, large circular field and I think I could even see an arm rotting in the distance.
I scratched my head and wondered where was I and how I got here.

You got knocked out remember? – Daicilus told me

Oh yeah… but Battlefield got knocked out too, where is he?

I squinted my eyes and saw him getting up just now. I chuckled, thinking that he would be wondering the exact same thing I did just moments ago. We made eye contact (I think; it was a bit too far to understand that), both of us looking really confused, when speakers that were scattered along the spectator entrances started sending out a deep voice.

'Hello, wRHGers. Don’t be alarmed, this is one of SP-city’s official arenas. You’ve been brought here because you two broke the rules.

RHG has rules? – I thought, containing the desire I had of saying it out loud since it would be rude.

- What rules did we break? – I asked as subtle alternative

‘You endangered regular civilians on a residential area. You were brought here so you could have your battle without endangering anyone else. Be warned however, if any of you do this one more time, there will be consequences.’

- Wait, I was attacked. All I did was defend myself.

‘But you made no efforts of moving the battle to somewhere safer.’

- Everyone had already… - I tried to insist


I insisted on my innocence a few more times before I noticed:

- Wait, where the heck is my chocolate b – A sniper shot came in my direction, which I barely avoided. – What the… - three more came in my direction, I managed to dodge the first two, but I was too slow for the third one which grazed on my chest, splattering some of my blood on the wall behind me around the bullet hole.

Feeling sane enough for it I realized that going after him in a straight line would be asking for a bullet in my skull so I charged up a decent amount of energy on my feet and dashed around the arena, until I was close enough to jump, concentrating some power in my left fist as I pulled it back.
Battlefield dodged it making a small cloud of sand lift up as my fist hit the ground. Not giving up I tried to punch him again with my other hand, followed by a kick from the same side. Dodging the first blow and grabbing the second, he countered with a punch in my face and a sweep to my other leg. Pinning me down, he tried to punch me once more but this time I grabbed his hand. Concentrating some more energy, I found the strength to push him away.
As I pulled myself back up, images of me, mercilessly beating Ryan while laughing at his groans of pain ran through my mind, causing me a headache.

Quit it Daicilus! – I yelled at him

Why should I? He’s physically stronger than you, and he knows at least, if not more than you about combat. You’re practically forced to use my powers, which means I’ll most likely be able to break through your mind and take over the more you use me.

That scared me. The feeling of being controlled by Daicilus was never pleasant and thinking of it always brought a chill on my spine, but he actually had a point, so if I wanted to avoid having my body taken over, I had to find some way of ending this quickly.
Destroying his backpack would take out his source of weapons, but stealing one to force him to quit would be a better solution given his experience in the military. And the opportunity to do just so came moments after, as Battlefield removed a katana out of his backpack. Disarm him and use the sword to cut the backpack into tiny little pieces. Didn’t seem all that complicated.
He dashed at me, giving a flurry of slashes. One of them managed to cut me in my left arm as I got behind him, giving the arena just a little more blood to absorb. I took a better look at the large, metallic blue backpack and seemed like maybe I didn’t need a weapon so I charged just a bit of energy in order to not give Daicilus much of an opening and punched it. It sent Ryan flying half a meter and the backpack seemed dented but apparently it was still functional as he replaced the katana with a sub-machine gun.

- Oh shit! – I thought out loud as I was forced to dash with the help of my powers, feeling my sanity disappearing with every step I was forced to give.

I managed to get close to him and uppercut his stomach, grab the gun and hit him with the back of it as I spun around him and sweep his legs, forcing him to fall and placing the gun’s barrel in his forehead and my finger on the trigger.
Giving my most murderous glare, hoping he would fall for my bluff, I threatened him:

- Move and I’ll paint this whole arena with your brains.

Sadly, he smirked:

- Fine then, shoot me. – I stood still – Come on. Do it! – He started flailing his arms – Hey, I’m moving! – He was clearly mocking me. Daicilus was getting impatient.

Oh for the love of Lucifer – He said loudly – Just give me the fucking body, I’ll shoot him.

The demon’s attempt to take over worsened my headache, causing me to close my eyes and focus on my mind instead of the battle.

This battle was already won, why are you interfering Daicilus? – I asked

Oh come on! He clearly knew you weren’t going to pull the trigger and was going to take advantage of that, so just let me do it!

I’m not letting you kill him!

With a hell of a lot more strength than he had just a minute ago, I felt Battlefield punching me followed by a throw against the nearby wall. Not expecting the sudden surge of pain Daicilus took this opportunity and in just two seconds grabbed Ryan, who was about to take out another gun, and threw him high into the air, firing three shots right between the eyes. His head exploded as the entirety of his body’s weight fell upon his skull about five seconds later. Walking slowly towards Battlefield, as the demon inside me laughed while taking Ryan’s soul to feast upon; I shed a tear, feeling guilty by what I had allowed to happen.
I looked at him. You couldn’t even see his face anymore. I pondered yelling at Daicilus for what he did but I knew that nothing I could say would have any influence whatsoever in his behavior. He would just laugh at me like he had done many times before. Now that the adrenaline was going away, I could really feel the pain of my wounds. I ripped a bit of my t-shirt that wasn’t soaked in blood by my bleeding chest and bandaged my arm that immediately started to get red. I sat next to him for an hour until I finally decided to go to the hospital.
As I was about to leave, I looked once again at Battlefield’s body:

- I sorry Ryan. I was just to weak to avoid it…

10-28-2012, 05:43 PM
hey, I can't get a poll to be made, so people just have to comment to vote, I'll make sure to count every vote.

10-28-2012, 05:53 PM

10-28-2012, 07:31 PM
thanks man

cowboy bodacious
10-29-2012, 10:42 PM
im voting for sjcrpv his story was a bit easir for me to follow

10-30-2012, 08:36 AM
I'm going to have to go with SJCRPV on this one. It had a very powerful ending and solid flow.

Both of you had abrupt time lapses, but FIDST's was much more so. I don't have a problem with characters recalling a tragic incident from their past, but make sure you ease us into the present, instead of just chucking us into it. It can really break the flow if we just all of the sudden realize that something's in the past.

His dead body fell beside the other dead bodies, now looking like nothing more than a mere soldier that just got killed.
*Ryan shook his head to stop reliving that mission from a week ago, now staring at the gym.

"His dead body fell beside the other corpses, then looking like nothing more than another causally of war.

Just the memory of Sam lying there among the dead was enough to cause Ryan's eyes to cloud, but as he felt something dampening in his tear-duct, he quickly shook his head in a desperate attempt to stop reliving last week's tragedy."

Also, I personally found the ending to be a little cheesy. After the entire battle, after all the worry of Daicilus coming back, I would've liked if it was something more than chocolate changing hands that ended the battle, and after all the damage Daicilus did, I feel like the soldiers would've at least objected a little when Sebastian was set free.

Again though, both stories were good, and I wish both of you good luck!

10-30-2012, 09:26 AM
Thank you, both bodacious and you Crankuba but can you show me more exactly where the time lapses are? :D Are you referring to the beginning, the time where we both got knocked out, when Sebastian started to lose sanity or when Battlefield got killed? Normally I can spot my own mistakes quite quickly but I'm not getting this one entirely.

And by the way, please don't confuse Daicilus with that awfully OP LoL champion Darius XD.I really don't like that character :P My matches tend to go awfully wrong when I lane against him.

10-30-2012, 10:22 AM
Heh, sorry about that! I don't even like League of Legends, so I have no idea where that came from!

And I was talking about when they got knocked out, it wasn't really a mistake, but it seemed to happen a little too fast.

I hesitated for a few seconds and he took that opening to take remove a shotgun from his backpack, just about ready to shoot when a tall and bald man stopped us in a flash, taking our weapons and knocking us both out.
I woke up on one side of an arena. It seemed like the battleground was from the times of the Roman Empire: blood stained sand on the ground, tall stone walls, large circular field and I think I could even see an arm rotting in the distance.

The change to waking up at the arena was fine, but I think it would've helped if you showed the two get knocked out.

"I hesitated for a few seconds and he took that opening to take remove a shotgun from his backpack, just about ready to shoot when a tall and bald man stopped us in a flash, gripping the barrel the firearm as he slammed his elbow into Ryan's face, launching him into the air as he pivoted to face me, pulling the weapon back as he did so. The last thing I remember was the butt of the gun speeding at my face like a lightning bolt before an immense pain sent me into an instant unconsciousness.

I woke up on one side of an arena."

If you can, always show over tell!

10-30-2012, 04:19 PM
Ah I see, thank you. Hopefully that won't happen in my battle against cowboy bodacious.

About LoL:
You probably have heard about it so much that you just associated "Da" "i" "us" with the actual champion instead of Daicilus. People read what they expect it is in front of them and not what's exactly in there, even if you wonder how you got there after reading it :D