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SJCRPV
12-04-2012, 12:39 AM
Hello : )
This was supposed to be here yesterday but apparently there was some confusion as to who would create the thread, nonetheless I only have my part of the battle, Lobotomizer will post his later.

Sebastian - Demon powers used to enhance physical abilities - Sebastian's wRHG (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?43723-Sebastian)

Kalena Eirwen - Sword of Truth (Manipulates Earth), Extra sensory, Transient Blade - Kalena's wRHG (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?45403-WRHG-Kalena-Eirwen)


I have uploaded it to Google Drive since there I can format it the way I want.
Just click here : ) (https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1W7K6QAAiVhUdB13d7Q0bLurGGmWrJo6Yz1RJG_fuee M)


Again, Lobotomizer will post his part later. Hope you enjoy both our stories : D

Lobotomizer
12-04-2012, 02:51 AM
Very sincere apologies for being late, I'm afraid life gives no regard to your schedule no matter how well planned it is.

My battle:


The journey toward their destination was a long and monotonous one, though it was not so for Corvon, who took every opportunity to examine the car’s innards, as if the interior might give a slight hint as to how it worked.

“Sit down now, jeez!” Jeff complained, “you’ve been bouncing about like a five-year old! Never seen a car before?”

“Sorry,” Corvon apologised and returned to his seat, crestfallen, “I’ve never really seen a vehicle myself. I was...curious to know how it worked.”

“Well I’ve got manuals on that. You won’t find much behind the cushion seats,” he shrugged. That made Corvon a little more enthusiastic.

“But man,” he leaned back on his seat with a sigh, “never seen a vehicle? You must be living in one hell of a sheltered life.”

Corvon gave a nervous laugh, “I suppose you could say that.”

“...and yet you speak with more sophistication than a hillbilly,” Jeff whistled, “well I won’t pry. Just interested is all.”

A moment of silence ensued, with the only sounds being the rumbling of the engine. Corvon took the opportunity glance at Kalena, who had been silent throughout the trip. She bore no expression, only gazing ahead with glazed eyes.

“Kalena? You’ve been a little quiet.”

She blinked at his call, as though broken from a trance, “it’s nothing. I was simply...thinking.”

“Thinking, eh?” Jeff mused, “speaking of which, you are from the WRHG aren’t you?”

“I am,” Kalena affirmed with a nod, “are you?”

“Explains that sword of yours, and your companion wearing what looks like a bathrobe,” Jeff shook his head, “and to answer your question, I used to be. Well, not anymore. It’s hard to fight without a reason.”

Kalena opened her mouth to ask, then clammed up. Much as she was curious, she felt that it was something too private to ask. Corvon too, said nothing at that, having seen the ruefully frown on Jeff from the mirror.

“Well let’s not get all depressed, eh?” Jeff spoke up once more, this time in a more energetic tone, “so what did you join for? Cash? Killing? Some people have to satisfy their bloodlust somehow.”

“Nothing as sordid,” Kalena quickly answered, a hint of annoyance in her voice, “ I intend on removing the system entirely.”

He whistled, “Some goal you have, little lady. And how are you gonna do that?”

“Convince participants to leave the system. It cannot survive if there is nothing to fuel it.”

“And if they don’t listen? Many join for some reason or another. You can’t just tell them to stop.”

Kalena‘s eyes were cold and hard when she replied, “if so, I will have to use force.”

Corvon shuddered at those words. Dangerous words that reminded him of her lack of mercy in battle. It couldn’t be helped that she lacked any intention or skill at diplomacy; she had only experienced unification by force back in her world. If it worked then, why not now? He was only reassured by the fact that she has always given the defeated a chance to change, and that he join would usually be there to prevent her from doing more than she should.

Contrary to the dark tone of her words, Jeff gave no more than a slight shrug, “good luck with that, I suppose.”

Without warning, the car screeched to an abrupt halt, causing the passengers to lurch forth from the momentum.

“What is it?” Corvon craned his neck to see ahead. His answer was quickly answered as the light from the headlights tore through the darkness before them, revealing a young man, waving a hand for attention.

“Best get out, see what he wants,” Jeff muttered. A click sounded as he opened the car door, allowing the light from within to stream out, “you two coming?”

Corvon glanced at Kalena for her reply, and seeing her give an affirmative “yes”, agreed to as well. After fumbling a little with the knob, he managed to open it and exit the vehicle. Jeff had already approached the lone man then, albeit apprehensively.

“Oh, thank you for stopping,” he smiled in relief, “I was beginning to think noone would arrive.”

“What are you here for?” Jeff asked, “next town’s a three hour drive from here, you can’t be walking.”

“On the contrary, I am. Or well, was,” he answered, “I was waiting for a car to come by. You know, hitch hiking. Do you mind allowing me to join you till the next town? It would be a great help. Name’s Sebastian, by the way.”

Jeff opened his mouth to answer, but he was interrupted when Kalena promptly moved forward to grab the stranger’s hand.

“Ow ow, that hurts!” He winced as she twisted it so that the light from the headlights would shine on it. It was painted in dark red. It was dry, perhaps a day old, but it emitted a smell all too familiar to those present.

Without uttering another word her sword was unsheathed and placed against his neck in one swift motion, leaving him no time to even step back.

“How very dangerous of you,” Jeff commented dryly, hopping back a little for safety.

“What are you doing?” Sebastian demanded.

“That is what I had intended to say,” Kalena returned in an emotionless voice, “blood does not simply appear on ones hands. What did you do?”

“I-it wasn’t my fault!” He protested, now panicking from fear, “look, I was just holding the guy, and before I knew it, his neck was broken, and I had to run. The police doesn’t appreciate murders in their city, right?”

“Of course not,” Jeff interrupted, “because people don’t randomly break necks unless they’re psychopaths or bloody thirsty hounds. And society generally doesn’t appreciate either.”

“Less of the talk,” Kalena stepped back a little ways from Sebastian, though her sword remained at neck level, “Mindless killing is no less barbaric than the actions of those who participate in the system. We will fight with honor, and by my blade you shall fall.”

“Kalena...” Corvon opened his mouth to protest, but Jeff stopped him.

“You gonna save a murderer?” He muttered.

“Murderers shouldn’t be punished by death either!” Corvon argued.

“Well, stop her when she goes there then,” Jeff shrugged, “nothing wrong with a little beating, and I doubt you’ll be able to stop her either.”

Corvon’s shoulders sagged when he realised the truth in Jeff’s words. Kalena had never listened to him, so why now? He was useless as always, failing to convince her to stop, only able to helplessly watch as she descended further to violence. It was at this time that he felt nothing more than useless baggage, which only vexed him more.

Jeff noticed his downcast expression almost immediately, “ cheer up. I told you, you can always stop her when she goes too far. And if you can’t, I will. Now have a candy.”

Corvon wordlessly took the bright capsule from Jeff’s hand and popped it in his mouth, though the sweetness did little to distract him from his thoughts. Sometime, he promised himself, sometime he would have Kalena realise that using violence to push her ideals was no better than those she pursued, even if it seemed impossible.

The battle had commenced then. Sebastian, though obviously abhorrent of the idea of being killed, was nonetheless glad that he had a chance to fight back. He crouched himself to a stance, readying himself for the battle to come.

Kalena made no effort to close in fast. She had her sword, offering superior range and power compared to Sebastian, who only had fists to defend himself. Still, she refused to delay her offence in the slightest, striking down at her opponent the moment she was ready. Sebastian sidestepped the attack with ease, returning the attack with a quick jab aimed at her forehead. Her entire body became a flash of blur as she ducked low to avoid his fist, twirling and swinging her sword upward as she did so. Appalled at the speed in which she reacted, Sebastian jumped away, putting distance between the two for a brief reprieve.

With the time he had bought for himself, he gave the situation a brief analysis. He had hoped that, with a careless strike from Kalena, he would be able to swiftly counter attack. Short, quick punches that would slowly wear her down. What he hadn’t expected was that she was fast, even in wielding a sword. Like her last, her every strike would seamlessly transit to another, giving little window for opportunity. She was superior in every way.

//Giving up already?// A small snicker echoed in his head. //You could always take the easy way out. Let me crush that fanatic’s skull. And the other two behind too.//

//All you will be getting are my refusals and nothing else.// Sebastian replied in his mind, which elicited a chuckle from the demon within him.

//Soon. I can always wait.//

Sebestian ignored it, putting his attention back in the battle before him, just in time to see Kalena charge forward, blade withdrawn for a thrust. He dodged it once more, and, realising that the opportunity was open to him, struck her with a quick blow to the head. She withdrew almost instantly at the pain, which was the call for him to continue. He closed in fast, making sure he was near enough that her using of her sword would be too cumbersome or impossible, rendering her advantage useless. He started with a straight punch, but it failed to make contact as Kalena grabbed it mid swing and twisted it, following up with a forceful elbow right into his abdomen.

Pain shot from his body, forcing him to withdraw, winded. He was confused, understandably so. He had underestimated her, putting her at the strength of the normal opponents he had fought before. Her speed, strength, weapon skill, and now her unarmed skill, he had assumed she was lacking in one, but the truth, as he had found out albeit with a price, was that she was competent in all he assumed he would have superiority in. An impenetrable tower that overpowered him in both offense and defense. What bothered him more than anything else was how she was able to block and counter successively with only one free hand. How did she do it? That question reverbed in his mind, blotting out entire thoughts. How?

That question was answered when Kalena stepped forward to pursue him. At the corner of his eye, he noticed she bore nothing on her hands, and behind her, a glinting made by the reflection of the moonlight. She had, he realised in deep shock, stabbed her sword into the ground. She had removed her only advantage when it became a burden without the slightest hesitation, empowered by the determination she held in destroying him!

“Why...?” He could only utter as he defended against the blows she threw. Simultaneous strikes that left him only enough room to dodge, and little time to counter in between.

“If I kept my sword you would never fight head on,” she answered simply. Sebastian realised then that avoiding her was useless; he would be waiting for an opening that would never come, whilst she would close the distance, using every way she could to bring him down, by fist or by blade. He let his energy pool into his limbs, invigorating them with the demonic strength that he had wished to hide till now. He lashed out then, striking at his opponent with more ferocity than her, ignoring the stinging pain that he felt through his limbs. Kalena, though taken aback by the change, nonetheless refused to be cowed, defending and counter attacking the best she could. The fight slowly turned to a brutal close melee, which even Kalena could feel she was losing. Yet she held on, enduring his stinging attacks which would break ribs given the chance, fighting back whenever she could.

At last, Sebastian put an end to the entire exchange by grabbing her arm and, using his shoulder as a pivot, throwing her onto the dirt ground. She winced as her body impacted the ground, knocking the wind from her lungs. Sebastian gave her no chance to recover, mounting her prone body, pinning her legs in the process. He punched her in simultaneous strikes, most which she was too feeble to block. Though each contact hurt his conscience more than he’d admit, it was either him or her, and he had to disable her if he wanted to leave the place alive. The punching continued, but he swore that, even between his attacks, even as she futilely tried to protect her head with her arms, that her lips were moving, muttering something that even he could not hear.
“Slash away.”

He stopped punching. Not because he heard the final two words of her incantation, but because he felt a sharp pain through his stomach, as if something had pierced it. He looked down with squinted eyes, to the blinding light that shone from her hands, extending into and through his body. Blood dripped down its ethereal edge, staining the ground with its colour. He uttered but a bloody gasp before rolling to his side, as the light that had held his limp body faded to nothing.

//You performed admirably// the voice said, dripping with sarcasm.

Sebastian gave no reply. Perhaps the pain had overridden his ability to think, or he had nothing to say of his defeat. Regardless, it was unfazed by his silence, continuing on cheerfully despite his condition.

//Let me take over. You’re half dead, and she’ll probably end your life now. I can stop that, save the both of us. And while we’re at it I get to let some blood too.//

So appalled by the very notion was Sebastian that his mind jerked awake, resisting its influence even as his consciousness began to fade. But it would have none of it. It had waited long enough, and in no circumstances would it let this body rot in a grave. It struck into his mind, tearing his very soul from his consciousness. He screamed. Screamed in his mind as pain shot into him from the forceful takeover. Soon those screams turned to mournful sobbing, and then faded to nothing.

//You will thank me for this.//

Kalena stood up, her clothes ragged and stained with dirt and blood. Her hair was matted, and her face bore an assortment of bruises, so much that Corvon felt it fortunate that it was night, for it would be a disgrace to Kalena to have been seen in such a state.

Jeff only raised an eyebrow at her injuries, “was a cat fight really necessary?”

“I would rather fight with fists than to chase him with a sword in hand,” Kalena replied, staggering over to her sword. With a small grunt she dislodged it from the earth and sheathed it, before approaching the two in a slight limp, “let us leave. Now.”

“Yes...” Corvon nodded, relieved that it was finally over. He was about to run ahead, to ensure that Sebestian was alive and heal his injuries, but he found himself stopped by Jeff’s arm.

“You...might want to reconsider that,” Jeff muttered in hushed tones, “he’s still alive. Behind you.”

Kalena swiftly turned around at his words. All she saw then was an approaching shadow, just inches away from her, before it was swiftly slammed against a nearby tree, struck and pinned by what seemed like an iron chain.

“For fuck’s sake,” Jeff cursed, adjusting the device on his belt which promptly retracted the chain. Upon seeing Kalena’s stunned look, he shouted in annoyance, “what are you standing for? Get him!”

“I had hoped for a fairer fight,” She murmured with a hint of disappointment in her voice. Nonetheless, she turned to her opponent, unsheathing her sword once more, just in time as Sebastian leapt at her with all the ferocity of a feral animal. He slammed into her, forcing her to lose her balance. The two rolled across the road, before Kalena promptly kicked him away. he rolled a little ways before recovering, and in that instant, she could tell that he had changed.

“You are not Sebastian,” she accused, standing up from the ground.

“How’d you know?” He cocked his head to one side in mild curiousity.

“Your styles differ. You fight with the rage and bloodlust of an animal,” she replied.

A giant grin formed on his lips then, “The name’s Daicilus. Call me a demon, devil, whatever. You won’t be thinking much when I rip your head off.”

“You overestimate yourself,” she held her blade low, in preparation for defense, “come.”

“Heh,” Daicilus only chuckled, before lunging straight at his opponent once more. There was no time to distance herself; she ducked low in response, swinging upward to catch his throat and head. With inhuman speed he stopped his momentum and bent back, narrowly missing the blade that would have pierced his skull. In return, he smashed his head straight into hers, jarring her from the violent blow. He wasted to time to take advantage of her stunned state, striking her abdomen with his knee before striking down on her exposed back with an elbow. She fell to the floor, coughing violently and tearing up from the excessive pain. Daicilus simply lifted her up by the collar, bringing her close so that all she saw was his maniacal smile, so twisted that the mere sight of it made her flinch.

“Funny isn’t it? You think your “justice” empowers you. Look at the filth you are now. That’s what your “justice” is,” he spat, tossing her violently down on the ground when he was done.

“I’ll crush that pride of yours. You’ll beg for mercy, but all you will be getting is a slow, painful torture,” he dragged the final words in his sentence, letting the promise hang in the air like poisoned miasma. Kalena said nothing, only using her sword for support to stand up.

“Obstinate, aren’t you?” He snarled, annoyed at her lack of response. But before he could even pull back to punch, he felt a tremor from below, almost as if an earthquake would happen. He instinctively leapt back, right as a giant spike tore from the ground he had stood on, glancing his ribs with its jagged surface. Fresh blood dripped from the fresh wound, but he paid little attention, for he was preoccupied by more earthen spikes that ripped through the ground. He avoided them all, jumping, ducking, and at the same time reducing his distance from the opponent. Finally he saw empty space between them, and even as logic screamed for him to, he could not stop himself from taking the opportunity. He leapt, a daring leap through the jagged stone, straight toward Kalena. He would pin her, disable her, then slowly tear her flesh apart.

What he hit instead, was cold, unforgiving stone. Pain shot from his head, screaming for his mind to shut down. He refused to comply, only staring ahead at the blank wall between he and his quarry. The quarry that he had failed, in his utter horror, to even kill. In his blurred vision he saw the earth around him retreat to their resting place, revealing the enemy before him. He would claw at her, drag her deep hell, but he could barely think properly, much less offer even the smallest bit of resistance. The next he saw was the glint of a blade, raised above his prone body. Was it the end? He couldn’t bring himself to believe so, but it was, and he could only silently curse her. Curse his slayer for all eternity, that he would bring her to hell when her own life had extinguished.

“Hey, stop godammit!” Jeff shouted, breaking into a run in a bid to halt Kalena. The blade plunged into flesh regardless, painting it red with blood. He swore violently, then picked the motionless body from the ground.

“You said you were a demon,” he shook Daicilus by the collar, as though his words would reach him if he did, “do you know another by the name of Abaddon? One who shares a body with another woman?”

“Can’t say I know that bitch,” Daicilus smirked weakly, “we don’t exactly acquaint ourselves with mindless killers.”

“You’re one to talk. That’s some suspiciously specific denial right there,” Jeff snarled, but before he could say anything else, he felt the body grow limp, and Daicilus fell silent forever. He let the body fall back onto the ground, his lips forming a deep scowl.

“Abaddon...” Kalena muttered, which Jeff picked up almost instantly.

“You know about it?” Jeff looked up, then hastily shook his head, “no, we’ll talk about it later. For now, let’s do something about those wounds of yours and we’ll leave for town.”

Kalena motioned for Corvon to come, and the mage strode to her side. Silently, he moved his hands over her head and murmured, “heal.”

Blue sparks formed and left his hand, moving onto Kalena’s skin, fixing, mending, the damaged tissue that they came across. Soon after, she was back she was before, though nothing could be done with her dishevelled hair and clothing. Jeff only looked on in mild interest, and when they were done, called for the two to enter the car once more.

“Well, congratulations for not dying, I suppose,” he gave a chuckle as he started the engine, though the scowl never truly left his lips.

Corvon noticed this, but said nothing, reserving the questions he had to himself. They would be answered in time, no doubt, but for now he only wanted to rest his beating heart, driven by the anxiety and worry he had for Kalena.


For those who have been in the WRHG for a long while, you might understand the reference. If not, no worries.

SJCRPV
12-04-2012, 07:21 AM
It's ok. Life is unpredictable : )

Also, apparently I have a vote, was it already there when you posted it?
If so, I guess I'll have to not count it : o

Edit: Brilliant work by the way : )
Can't say the same about mine though, it turned out awful >_<

Lobotomizer
12-04-2012, 07:53 AM
I'm not sure about the vote, but it doesn't really matter.

And thanks, yours was fine too, even if it did need a little more emotion.

SJCRPV
12-04-2012, 08:15 AM
it did need a little more emotion.
Exactly.


I will not count that first vote then.

Luzoto
12-04-2012, 02:48 PM
I would vote and give some CnC, but after reading both and thinking about it very carefully, I've realized that I'm really, really bad at giving CnC, specifically what could be done to fix it. Both battles were pretty well matched in my opinion, though. Also, I thought kalis were a type of blade, not a blunt weapon?
Or so Wikipedia says =P.

SJCRPV
12-04-2012, 03:25 PM
Wait a second, let me check the ones I have in my room...

Uh... no, I can't cut anything with these, I can smash it, but not cut it ._.
Wikipedia has shown you something else : o (I didn't know that it was double edged Filipino sword as well ._.)

Just type "kali weapon" on google images and look at the second picture. They're normally made out of bamboo but I thought having them out of metal was nice as well.

Also, evenly matched? No way! This was a lost battle the moment I thought of fighting Lobotomizer. I only issued the challenge because I really wanted to write a battle against Kalena and see what he could come up for my character XD

Luzoto
12-04-2012, 04:12 PM
Uh... no, I can't cut anything with these, I can smash it, but not cut it ._.
Wikipedia has shown you something else : o (I didn't know that it was double edged Filipino sword as well ._.)

They're not just ANY double-edged Filipino swords, they're WAAAAAAVY double-edged Filipino swords! :D
And how they're matched is just my opinion. Feel free to agree, deny, or set fire to it.

cowboy bodacious
12-04-2012, 06:56 PM
ok, both fights were equally well written, but in the end i am going with sjcrpv. in my book you are a bigger winner if you can win without killing, though sebastain would have killed kalena if not for my wrhg stepping in, but sjcrpv wrote it so that he was eventually stopped. this is not bias toward him just simply sharing my personal opinion

on a side not here, lobotomizer i would like to fight you after i finish my battle with subzero and his wrhg nox

Luzoto
12-04-2012, 08:32 PM
ok, both fights were equally well written, but in the end i am going with sjcrpv. in my book you are a bigger winner if you can win without killing, though sebastain would have killed kalena if not for my wrhg stepping in, but sjcrpv wrote it so that he was eventually stopped. this is not bias toward him just simply sharing my personal opinion

on a side not here, lobotomizer i would like to fight you after i finish my battle with subzero and his wrhg nox

Surely you would be voting more based on the quality of the writing than the story? Anyone can come up with a real good story, it's how they present it that usually wins the fight.

cowboy bodacious
12-04-2012, 08:41 PM
dont get me wrong it was based my vote a lot on the quality of writing i just failed to mention it in my post.

Crank
12-04-2012, 10:52 PM
I only issued the challenge because I really wanted to write a battle against Kalena and see what he could come up for my character XD
You sir, are a courageous man.
And for that, I salute you.

And for the record, you're battle was much better than you give it credit for! It was a giant step up from your last fight and I really like how you were able to tie in characters from your previous battles! ...But Lobotomizer is scary good. He gets my vote.

SJCRPV
12-05-2012, 12:26 AM
You sir, are a courageous man.
And for that, I salute you.

Thank you : )

That is actually the same reason why I challenged Kyra as well XD

SJCRPV
12-05-2012, 10:26 AM
No doubt; but at least it will be fun to die : D

Losing is fun :3

cowboy bodacious
12-05-2012, 12:00 PM
Sjcrpv I am amazed at how you have progressed since I fought you. And to be honest I would love a rematch one day, on a side note I am glad that you and I Along with our characters have become such good friends. I believe it has helped me improve as a writter.

Lobotomizer
12-06-2012, 02:48 AM
ok, both fights were equally well written, but in the end i am going with sjcrpv. in my book you are a bigger winner if you can win without killing, though sebastain would have killed kalena if not for my wrhg stepping in, but sjcrpv wrote it so that he was eventually stopped. this is not bias toward him just simply sharing my personal opinion

on a side not here, lobotomizer i would like to fight you after i finish my battle with subzero and his wrhg nox

do give me a message when you are ready.

SJCRPV
12-20-2012, 09:39 PM
In general, your work seems to be all over the place in terms of description, with little focus on the bits that matter. There are for example, parts that could be omitted because they serve no relevance to the plot like the shop scene in the beginning.

Well, the shop scene just served to show that Sebastian had acquired the Kalis



There were also parts in which you attempted to subvert the above by just putting parts in for the shallowest of reasons or for the sake of pushing the plot. It would seem that Bodacious' spear fishing in the beginning only existed so that readers become familiar with his appearance later on. For no reason. It would also seem that Sebastian's craving for chocolate was merely a means for him to go somewhere and do something else. There must be another thing triggering that desire. Perhaps, the fear of losing and dying or the need or want to battle. Anything but just chocolate.

Indeed, I should have emphasized more on the fact that he was nervous about this fight, since he had a good idea of how dangerous the opponent was. The chocolate was just something to somewhat calm him down.



Instead of needless clutter or just making one sentence descriptions ("In that freezing weather I happily ran my way to the wRHG building."), you could maybe expound on them at least. How cold is it? How long has it been blowing/snowing? How would you describe this building and the lake nearby? And this may just be a personal thing but a Kali is a pretty uncommon weapon. It should be in your bio yes, but a little description wouldn't hurt. What does it look like? Any distinct features? How does it wield? You'd be amazed how description can easily make the environment more entertaining and relevant.

Actually, in Sebastian's bio, it only mentions the fact that aside from hand to hand combat, he also knows how to wield weapons. I'll edit that.
And my idea with the Kalis was to show that they were simple, but I guess I made them too simple. I'll take note of that.



I have an issue with Sebastian's character. Says in the bio that he's supposed to be calm and laid-back. He came from an aristocratic family so he must at least know some manners. Externally that seems to be the case but why would he be so quick to judge if he's being judged. Isn't he being just a little bit paranoid...?

I just failed to show that that was just a simple suspicion, though I was a bit too quick in showing that he was suspicious.



Also, some of your text sound pretentious. Like, you will mention something, at the expense of another in order to assure the reader that's what you meant. Here's an example.

- I won’t use it. Out of respect. – I immediately stated, as if I wanted to make her sure of something – Also, I’m sorry.

We should be able to figure out that Sebastian is trying to be honorable in his battle. There was no need to add that bolded part as it sort of killed the mood. It's like, trying to explain a joke just after you've told it. Don't you just hate people who do that hahah.

Yes, they are a bit annoying XD
Noted.

Thank you for taking the time to analyze this awful piece of writing that I made. I have noted my own mistakes, and thanks to you, I am now aware of a few more. Hopefully, the next battle I write won't be as bad as this : )