View Full Version : (New thread) Todesberührung (Shadowkirby) vs. Nox the Shadow Bringer (subzero1112)

02-14-2013, 08:08 PM
Remade new thread since the last one wasn't public and was locked.

So again, here are our battles! Vote fairly!

Date: September 16, 1996, 7:07 PM

“Stan... Stan~.... Stan!!”

Stan Aschebrise abruptly wakes up from his bed by his twin sister, Elisa, who happens to be dressed for a special occasion; a pale brown linen dress with a pink ribbon around her waist, with a bow on the back. She's also wearing a matching hat and shoes with her dress, so she won't feel out of place. Stan, still tired and yawning, wonders what's with the get-up.

“Stan, don't tell me you forgot, did you?”, Elisa asks.

He tries to remember what day it is, but due to his laziness and forgetfulness in every morning, he gives a slow shake of his head.

“It's Oktoberfest! How could you forget!?”

That's right!! How could Stan be so forgetful? Oktoberfest is one of Elisa's favorite days to celebrate other than Christmas and their birthdays, this day is when Elisa gets to look around the festival to find games to play and try as much food as possible. Stan still remembers last year that Elisa has gotten so full from eating various amounts of shnitzels and bratwursts that she literally threw up since her stomach couldn't handle that much food.

“S-sorry about that, Elisa. I'm... pretty forgetful in the mornings. Heheh...”

Elisa smiles and drags her twin brother out of bed, but Stan lazily falls on the wooden floor. Oh, Elisa, how could YOU forget that you have to wait for your brother to stretch out first before leaving the bed? Let me guess, you couldn't wait for this festivity and must head over there in a hurry, but what's the rush? The festival will only last for 16 days. I guess she wants to be the first in line for other food stands, not to mention the rides there, oh, how she LOVES the rides in Oktoberfest, and the competitions held by drunkards trying to out-best each other on a drinking contest; Stan and Elisa always bet on who's going to win. The fun times...

Fun times.

Another flashback went by through Todesberührung, it seems like it was just yesterday since she died, and he just couldn't let go of the past, it seems painful to remember what use to be the good things back then. It makes him want to frown, but not a single quiver of a lip could make him weep.

Date: December 15, 2024, 9:42 PM

The infamous Todesberührung is seen on a pale gray boulder under the lustrous moon in the night. The wide open meadows of grass and trees are abundant in this area, like living in an ocean of flowers and leaves. The mere flashback he had lured him from gazing the wonderful stars above, the way it shines and sparkles brings a slim, but warm feeling within him. This became his pastime for him since the day Elisa took him outside to look at the stars, he'd always wonder what's out there from this cruel and unforgiving world they live in.

Everything seems to spiral down into the cracks of despair after her death; he was alone in the orphanage, he didn't have that much to live for in life, a very low-paying job, and now this. It seems to happen so fast that he can't seem to avoid it like being shot by a speeding bullet. Whoever Death is referring to, the only thing he knows that he must find “her” and achieve true death and redemption. The question still remains...who?

He couldn't bring himself to think, pondering on this stranger this entity spoke about. If he were to find her, how will he find her? Where? What is her appearance? Seems that without any specific information would make this search nearly impossible. Why is she so important? Death could at least tell him the name of this woman, although it would still be impossible without her location.

This task seems to be a lot more complicated than he thought. He looks up to the sky as he continues to ponder this unquestionable quest, and gaze at the moon, beautifully shining to the eyes. His moment with the sky came short as he hears something faint coming from the forest. Yards away, a dim black light shines in the night, it was moving, but not by itself, not a wisp from mythology or a fairy from books of folklore, but a shrouded figure with a large weapon bearing on its shoulder with a lantern containing the light that is shadow hanging from it. Nocifer, aka Nox the Shadow Bringer, reveals himself from the darkness, perhaps looking for something, or specifically, someone. He's not alone, also.

Within Nox is a feminine spirit called the Pure Soul, this essence is what made Nox in the first place; a being made from two spirits of darkness and the Pure Soul, creating the first Umbraic. Nox wanders out of the forest and scans out the area, due to being born having Dark Vision which enables him to see in the dark, looking for someone in this wide open meadow, then spots Todesberührung.

Nox: ...who... is this tortured soul?

The Pure Soul appears near Nox, and sees the woeful undead.

Pure Soul: I sense great power within this being, it's better if you don't try to aggravate it.

Nox: Hmph. Why should I care? I've been expecting a challenge since the day I've fought Lexel. If it's a powerful opponent, then I'm set. I'm going to face him.

Pure Soul: I'm sure it's not the sociable path to go to...

Nox then approaches up to Todesberührung without hesitation. He pulls out his scythe and prepares to strike him from behind.

Pure Soul: What about our pursuit for her?

Nox: We'll continue our search for her once we're done with this thing.


Todesberührung hears the word from his approaching adversary that is about to pounce. Could they be talking about the same woman Death told him to find? If so, why are they looking for her? It's a slim chance that it could be her, but what if he's wrong? Before Nox delivers the first blow on the reanimated terror, he dodged out of the way just in time.

Nox: What!?

Nox glared at Todesberührung, then lunges to swing his lethal scythe. The undead didn't move and waits for him to approach closely. He then swifts to the right and delivers a heavy blow to the chest with his right fist. A fist that heavy made him fall on his back; he's now trying to regain his breath after his knock the wind out of him. Todesberührung slowly approaches the adversary and stared down with his neutral expression.

Nox: Damn, that hurt....

Pure Soul: You need to get your feet back up, Nox. You won't last against him.

Nox: Bullshit. I'm taking him down...

As the undead leans towards him, Nox unveiled energy that then converted into dark matter, shooting a dark energy bolt at the being. All it did was blast a hole through his chest; the wound slowly healed in front of him, slowly scaring him. Todesberührung looked up to him and, without warning, grabbed his shirt and threw across the field. Falling into a patch of flowers, he slowly lift himself up, feeling the sores on his sides from the impact.

Nox: He's really getting on my nerves...

He picked up his scythes and, again, charges at him. Every swing he swung, slicing and dicing, thrashing and stabbing, it might've tore him to several messy pieces, but he kept on coming back together. There's no stopping the creature from regenerating back to one piece without pain or sense of death.

Pure Soul: The being's immortal. He must have a certain weakspot somewhere around him. Find it and defeat him.

Nox: I've tried that, but it doesn't seem to work.

Pure Soul: That's because you're being reckless. You're not focusing on the solution, but only making the problem bigger.

Nox snarled and rose his scythe up to the sky, activating his lantern, shining a dark luminous light around. The souls of the dead rise from the depths and leans towards the shining blackened fire. All this poor unfortunate souls are now collected within the object, granting Nox more power.

Nox: Now I'm ready... tell me where his weakspot be...

The Pure Soul sees something glowing on Todesberührung's right hand; written runes that are glowing in a dark blue hue.

Pure Soul: That must be it... his hand... aim for the hand...

Todesberührung sees Nox charging him once again, but this time, he's going for his arm. He must've known about his weakness. He must not let him get any nearer to his right hand. Each swing brings him closer to death; one scrape after another. His attire are slashed and torn, his arm are scratched countlessly by the scythe's sharp blade. He will not die yet, not again. Not while he's still searching for her.... It's not over. Minutes have passed as Nox is wearing himself out; his guard is down due to his exhaustion. Now's the perfect time to end it. He activates the Death Touch and waits for him to finally lays down his weapon.

After delivering another strike, Todesberührung seizes the opportunity by lunging towards him with his death hand, only to miss and land on the surface of the meadow. The effects cause the area around his hand to die; the soil dries up to sand as the grass and flowers wilt and wither away. Nox does not like this reaction one bit. Surprised from the effects from his hand, he then wonders who he is.

Nox: What the hell....? Who is this guy....?

Todesberührung gets up from the ground and turns to him. The glow around his palm wears away, leaving only a faint blue light, seeming to be charging up.

Pure Soul: Now, Nox. Here's your chance.

Nox: On it!

It seems like the end for Todesberührung this time. There's no turning away; running will prove to be cowardice, Nox knows his weakness, and he won't stop until he cuts it off.

One swing...

...to end it all.

Nox then stopped on his tracks, turns around and tries to reminise the feeling of a strange presence nearby... a familiar presence.

Nox: It's her...

Pure Soul: Nox, look out!

Nox has let his guard down, especially when he's in a middle of a battle, and ends up getting socked by fist, knocking him out cold. Instead of finishing him off, he also felt the activity from a nearby spirit. Could it be? Could it really be the one? Could it be... her? Todesberührung runs to the familiar feeling, he feels it, the deep feeling he had long lost years ago, has finally returned for this moment.

It's coming from the forest. He enters and searches around, the feeling seems mixed, but it's slowly fading. He's not willing to lose her, not tonight. He has to find her.

He has came across merciless branches that has swept and scarred his skin, many webs he ripped through, ignoring the crawlers that are simultaneously biting him. The darkness has made him run in circles, he could not see through the blackness.

All seems lost and hopeless, the presence is fading rapidly. He won't be able to catch up to her, the darkness seems to have blocked his way from his purpose, and is now trapped in his own self-pity.

Silence filled the air...

(Play this song while reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AHTCoxWwuA )


That whisper...

He lifted his head as he somehow knows the voice. It's seems foggy, for it has been a very long time since he had last heard it. He knows where it's coming from, the echo has led him to his destination at last. Todesberührung runs through the darkness, hoping to find the light within. The spiritual presence grows with every step, he's getting nearer, he knows he is. A bleak light shines through the forest, the way out. God has shown him the way to his true purpose, he has shown him where she is.

As he emerges from the forest, his eye widens at the sight. Still night, but the moon still glimmers. In front was a floating spirit in a long gown; the long black hair, the familiar figure... it's her... the woman Todesberührung has been looking for, levitating above the ground as she's gazing at the oceans roaring to the shore. She turned to reveal herself to him.

He fell to his knees by her presence, the sheer astonishment has weighed him down. She's what Death has been referring to this entire time; the being that will show him the way to true redemption. The path of the afterlife has come for him. This person... this being...

… is Elisa.... his deceased twin sister...

02-14-2013, 08:17 PM
Death’s Assailant
“The hunter becomes the hunted.”

He had won, finally he had. His next destination, still toward the Northern Mountains is through Coal, a merchant town supposedly bustling with life. He walks up over the hill expecting to hear the noises of business.

He arrives and knows that there is something wrong, supposedly, the town is supposed to be noisy and busy, but instead, he walks through an abandoned town, most of the buildings are razed, and those that were spared are severely damaged, charred on the roofs, amber on the ground and all nearly destroyed. Littering the scene were wandering souls, most of which he didn’t even care to absorb, the town was clearly only recently razed. He could feel his hunger; he wished that he had one of those ‘burgers’ right now. Ugh, human desires, how pathetic of him. He sated himself simply by absorbing the hapless souls that wandered his way.

I sense something. Soul spoke out, seeming wary. Nox stopped his walking.

“What is it?” Nox replied in a bored and calm tone.

The essence is strong, and very negative.

“Demon?” maintaining his calmness.

No… Its……! Soul looked, for the very first time, afraid and confused, Nox knew this wasn’t a good thing.

“What is it?” He straightened up and his voice was now very serious.

It-It feels like the combination of a Demon’s essence, and our very own! …Death… Her voice was very distressed.

“Death…” Nox echoed. He summoned his scythe, Noctem Aeternum, hoping to bring about the end of his unseen adversary. There was one large problem, the sun is still high up in the sky, and it still looked hours away from setting. Nox felt something, it made his stomach turn, and he could feel his muscles stiffen a bit, he felt excited? No, this wasn’t as before… Was this what fear felt like? No way out, and the bitter truth that he might die. Nox’s eyes widened and his teeth clenched with anger, rage instantly drowning out his fear, he was angry that he would allow himself to feel an emotion as pathetic as fear. He shrugged everything off.

Moments passed, the wind constantly blowing at Nox’s hair and clothes, as he waited, he twirled his scythe. The sun still high up. Every moment that passed his anxiety grew, but staying still, keeping a good eye on the empty town. Finally something took shape far away, it seemed like nothing but a mirage but as it came closer, its figure could be seen, it is in the shape of a man, long clothes could be seen on it, a black, worn, trench coat, the right sleeve is torn off. As he drew closer, more characteristics could be seen, his right eye, or where it should be, had a hole through it, his skin dead gray, but his right hand had glowing runes on it, not the same runes to be seen on Demons.

The nervousness that Nox had felt was now drenched out by how this man so resembled a Demon, Nox could only feel his own excitement as the figure drew closer, a smirk crept up onto Nox’s face. He tried feebly to conjure a dark bolt from his left hand, just to give off a warning shot, if it, for some fanciful reason, suddenly worked. As expected, the darkness on his hand only flickered like a spark of black electricity before dissipating. Nox focused himself back onto the approaching figure.

Soul floated beside Nox and squinted, looking at the man’s right arm. Her eyes widened. Nocifer, the man’s right arm, you must avoid it at all costs! Soul exclaimed. Nox nodded, he wasn’t one to question.

“Who are you?” Nox called out as he pointed his staff at the distant figure, but close enough just to hear his words although no response came. The man stopped some feet away from Nox remaining stationary and not uttering one word. “Are you in league with the Demons?” Nox spoke once more, and once more, no response was heard. “Hmph, fine.” Nox rested his scythe on his right shoulder and turned away feeling quite disappointed for he did not get a chance to battle, but just as he was about to unsummon his scythe…

“Dark One…” The man said in a cold, scratchy voice. It prompted Nox to stop and turn back toward his would-be adversary.

“So that is what they call me now?” Nox said sarcastically. The man raised his right arm toward Nox.

“I am Death’s emissary, and he has informed me to retrieve you.” The undead man said apathetically

“Try.” One word was Nox all needed to say. The man lunged at him with his right hand, remembering Soul’s heed, Nox sharply dodged the man’s hand before it could touch his skin, Nox quickly did a counter spin and stabbed the scythe right through the undead’s chest before retrieving it, blood gushed out but the wound slowly mended itself up. The undead slowly turned toward Nox.

Immortal. Nox made a mental note to himself. He aimed his free hand toward the undead hoping to bring up a destructive bolt, the darkness did nothing but spark. He cursed the day. The man lunged again but this time, his hand was blocked by Noctem Aeternum, the man was visibly surprised, as the glows on his hand became dim.

Nox! His hand, it withers anything it touches, but it needs to recharge before it may be used once more. Take your chance! Soul advised, which Nox gladly obliged. Even without his darkness, Nox was still quite fast, he spun and cut as he quickly chopped up the undead’s body into gory pieces and fragments. Despite Nox’s efforts, the pieces slid across the ground as they stacked on top of each other and patched its own wounds to form a solid body once again.

The runes on its hand glowed once more, he lunged once again, Nox backstepped which caused the man to almost topple over, Nox followed it through by pulling him with a nudge of gravity making the undead fall flat into the ground. He stomped his adversary’s head, splattering it all over the ground, splashing blood and brains onto the green grass. Although the brains and a few pieces of the skull is visibly imprinted into the ground, they still crawled back into place, reforming and inflating the slightly flattened head under Nox’s boot, not even a trace of red on the ground. Nox jumped back

“That… Is impossible!” Nox for once, felt surprised, this man is different from all the other Demons he had faced, this man is truly immortal! Then, Nox remembered, he remembered that he had once fought another immortal before, of course! Pain is what shall bring about the undoing of his adversary, the problem is, Nox had struck countless attacks onto the undead but it did not so much as show any expression of pain. If only darkness was on his side once more.

The undead rushed at Nox but this time with his left hand, intending to push him away which he did so successfully, Nox had been launched off a few inches from the ground, and sent flying into the nearest still-standing building with his incredible strength. Before long, Nox could find himself unable to stand, was this it? Was his mission over? Was he never going to meet the Nether Breaker? Will he live a life of slavery under filthy Demons? No. There was one thing he hasn’t done at all yet… Call out to Soul for help

“Soul!” Nox desperately called out.

Yes? She appeared beside him.

“Search for anything in darkness... Shade under trees, a cave, anything!” Nox was still unable to stand. Soul seemed to concentrate for a brief moment before reopening her eyes.

Nox, there are caverns underneath the town, we are currently on one! It seems to be the mining circuit of the town. She told him.

“Good.” Nox regained most of his calmness and confidence as evident in his voice. He clenched his fist as he sat on the ground. He propped his scythe's blunt tip into the ground to help him with leverage as he struggled to stand. The undead was running full pace at him, but just when it had reached a few feet away, Nox concentrated, both fists clenched and placed on the grassy ground. The floor started with a small rumble that became a stronger tremor, the ground began to glow high purple and crack with sheer, prolonged, gravitic power. The undead stopped in his tracks as he saw the cracks grow and grow. The time came for the ground to give way, so it did, it collapsed from beneath their feet as both of them fell into the underground cavern.

The fall was short and did not cause much damage. The cavern was large, stony, and most importantly, dark. The sun’s bright, warm, light could only reach some places from the opening through which they fell, Nox was the first to stand up, but this time it was easier to. He could feel the Darkness regenerating him, power seeping into his essence, most of his wounds were healing, albeit rather slowly, he took a moment to close his eyes and inhale deeply. He opened them once again and focused back onto the fallen undead as it shoved rocks out of its way while rising.

“And so…” A smirk formed upon Nox’s face, “The hunter becomes the hunted.” He fired a dark bolt toward the undead just as it stood, leaving a gaping hole on it’s body, but he didn’t stop there, he fired one after another, as he drew closer with Night Eternal in hand, finally he had gotten only a few feet away, enough for his scythe to reach the undead, he used it to rend the undead’s body to pieces, hoping to see just what this adversary is capable of. He jumped back.

The body of the undead started to regenerate, the pieces crawling back into each other as before.

Nox. I’ve had enough time to fully assess him, it seems that he draws all of his power and lifeforce from his cursed hand! Soul spoke. Nox nodded once more, he called the darkness up as tendrils and aimed it at his adversary, the tendrils that formed chained the undead to the ground, its face somewhat hinting of emotion now as he was about to be defeated… Nox called upon the gravity to weigh it down to both knees as he approached it with his scythe on his right hand.

Slowly, Nox walked toward his adversary, every step could be heard and the sound of his scythe scraping against the stony ground resonated its echoes throughout the cavern.

“Tell Death, I’ll be seeing him.” Nox spoke in a very serious voice that made the expression on the undead’s face more visible. He raised his scythe and brought it down like a guillotine upon the right hand of the undead, severing it completely causing the undead to dissipate slowly, leak by leak his essence was drawn out into the air and evaporated, until so that the soulless body of the adversary turned only into dust. Nox walked past the dust and ashes that was once his adversary and melded into the shadows of the cave.

No mention of my previous battle since Shadow was my 3rd battle and Shaq was my 4th. The 4th just got released first.

Also, good luck to both of us.

02-15-2013, 02:46 PM
The poll has 5 days left until it closes.

02-15-2013, 03:15 PM
Great stories, but, is it really neccesary to

do this all the time, when you are telling your story

I mean It kind of makes the story fall

apart if you know what I mean.

It was a tough decision for me, but in the end, I find Shadowkirby's version easier to read.

02-15-2013, 05:19 PM
I liked Sub's point of view - Shadow's seemed to switch to one character and didn't focus on his own, so my vote vote goes out to Sub - greats stories both of you though

02-15-2013, 07:23 PM
is it really neccesary to
do this all the time, when you are telling your story.

What do you mean do "this" ?
If you mean the spacing between the lines, yes, since that is to distinguish when the characters are speaking.

02-16-2013, 11:06 AM
Well, I'd prefer the style you read in books. Ofcourse it's hard to distinguish who's talking sometimes, especially if you pick multiple points of view.

02-16-2013, 11:33 AM
Well, I'd prefer the style you read in books. Ofcourse it's hard to distinguish who's talking sometimes, especially if you pick multiple points of view.

Actually, more often than not, authors give dialogue of different characters their own paragraph, and starting a new one when they go to a new one. The difference is mostly subzero's usage of centering rather than going to the left.

Also, for some reason indenting doesn't work.

But I liked both stories, and how in both cases the characters had a connection.

02-17-2013, 11:41 PM
We're now tied in the poll.

Who'll win before the poll closes?

02-18-2013, 07:05 PM
I see, it would be difficult to think of a good follow up if we got tied, but if we must, we should think of a canon that both of us agree on.

02-19-2013, 04:35 AM
I like ShadowKirby better.

02-20-2013, 01:08 AM
I'm gonna lose again. *sarcastic happy face*

Well, congrats, Shadow.

02-20-2013, 03:44 PM
I'm gonna lose again. *sarcastic happy face*

Well, congrats, Shadow.

Thanks, sub. Sorry for the long wait to finish my battle.

02-21-2013, 02:18 AM
No problem