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Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 09:46 PM
You have just entered the finest dining experience you can find in the SPP area. We invite you to please take a seat and make yourself at home. Casual conversation among the other guests is accepted, but you are expected to order something from the menu below.

~SPP Restaurant~

MENU


APPETIZERS

Bloomin' Onion
Directly imported from Outback Steakhouse. And by imported, we mean stolen. $6.49

Breadsticks
We promise it has been in the freezer less than 2 months. Marinara sauce costs extra. $2.99

Onion Rings
Can not guarantee that they will be crunchy. $4.99

Buffalo Wings
CAUTION. This item is very spicy. $7.49

ENTREES
All entrees served with a side of fries unless stated otherwise.

Shit
Only the finest quality. Served free on weekends. $0.50

Club Sandwich - Staff Favorite!
Our finest item, made with all fresh ingredients. Three pieces of bread, bacon, turkey, lettuce, the works! $9.99

SPPBurger
Made with 100% can-grade beef! $8.49

Baby Back Ribs
Served with Sir Mix-a-lot's "Baby Got Back" playing in the background. $16.99

Ribeye Steak
We promise you it's a real ribeye!* $17.99
*We lied.

Surf & Turf
3 juicy ounces of steak served with 4 wholesome shrimp. $10.49

Chicken Caesar Salad
Perfect for all the fat antisocial nerds! $7.49

Chicken Fingers
Perfect for those without much of an appetite, this dish is served with 2 chicken fingers. $7.99

Wendy's Brand Chili
May contain finger. $Your Finger

Desserts

Chocolate Mud Pie
One slice is served. 90% chance of containing mud. $5.99

Ice Cream
A half-scoop of the smooth vanilla flavor you love. $4.99

Brownie
Our chefs are working on making it moist, but in the meantime enjoy it dry as a bone. $4.99

Drinks

Soda
Coke, Sprite, lemonade. Refills cost extra. $1.99

Alcohol
You name it, we have it. All alcoholic beverages are half off from 2:00am - 4:00am. $3.99

Order off of the menu whenever you feel ready.

No refunds. We are not liable for any illnesses received when consuming our food. EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK!


Current Staff:
Dragon077 - Manager
Smashdood - Janitor
StrunG - Chef
Mantha - Waitress

Note that we are now hiring. Simply post your resume if you would like to be on the waiting team.

Dudeman
05-27-2008, 09:52 PM
Excuse me sir, I'm going to go to the bathroom before I pay my bill.

*goes to the bathroom*
*makes a new account*
*leaves restaurant*
*makes a new account*
*re-enters restaurant*

I'll take the most expensive item, good sir.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 09:54 PM
Excuse me sir, I'm going to go to the bathroom before I pay my bill.

*goes to the bathroom*
*makes a new account*
*leaves restaurant*
*makes a new account*
*re-enters restaurant*

I'll take the most expensive item, good sir.
That would be our ribeye! It'll cost you $17.99. We hope you enjoy your meal.

Also, we would like to inform you that we have cameras in the parking lot.

Nodd
05-27-2008, 10:04 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Nodbarnacle Axinella Polycapella

Age: 6,590 days.

Goals:
Though I am not incredibly experiences in working in the restaurant business, I am certain I will do whatever job necessary to insure to ongoing success of this fine establishment.

Hobbies:
I enjoy hanging out with my Mollusks, and occasionally hopping on the back of a dolphin for a few weeks at a time. I was a drifter for a while, but I'd like to stay on this "rock", (if you will), for a long time.

Volunteer Experience:
I worked with the "Save-a-Sponge" foundation, putting in over 48 hours in aiding wounded sponges in the Mediterranean.

Work Experience:
In 2007 I worked for a short time in the 'removal of obscene bacteria' business, most work was done on fellow sponges, occasionally a whale or two would drop by, I was employee of the month for June, July, and in October.

References:
You can contact Aaptos kanuux, the leader of the "Save-a-Sponge" foundation along the coast of Libya, as well as my manager, who is currently stationed Ligurian sea.

Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 10:06 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Nodbarnacle Axinella Polycapella

Age: 6,590 days.

Goals:
Though I am not incredibly experiences in working in the restaurant business, I am certain I will do whatever job necessary to insure to ongoing success of this fine establishment.

Hobbies:
I enjoy hanging out with my Mollusks, and occasionally hopping on the back of a dolphin for a few weeks at a time. I was a drifter for a while, but I'd like to stay on this "rock", (if you will), for a long time.

Volunteer Experience:
I worked with the "Save-a-Sponge" foundation, putting in over 48 hours in aiding wounded sponges in the Mediterranean.

Work Experience:
In 2007 I worked for a short time in the 'removal of obscene bacteria' business, most work was done on fellow sponges, occasionally a whale or two would drop by, I was employee of the month for June, July, and in October.

References:
You can contact Aaptos kanuux, the leader of the "Save-a-Sponge" foundation along the coast of Libya, as well as my manager, who is currently stationed Ligurian sea.

Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.



Your resume has been filed and is being processed. We will let you know the turnout in the coming days. Thank you for applying!

Nodd
05-27-2008, 10:15 PM
*sits down*
"I'd like one Club Sandwich please, and give me a handle of Bicardi while you're at it."

Krob
05-27-2008, 10:22 PM
Shit dog I cook a mean rib-eye!


Name: Krob Lobster.

Age: 17.

Goals: Get laid.


Hobbies: Stalking women, having sexual fantasties, cooking a mean rib eye.

Volunteer Experience: I trafficked drugs before?


Work Experience: Hauling hay, Blasting fools, selling shit.

References: I have none mothafucka.















Alright, fry me up some of them Buffalo Wings and a scoop of shit.

mraznbuddy
05-27-2008, 10:29 PM
O_O omg shit is getting expensive these days >.> I think I'm going to have to find a more environment safe fuel for it. Or maybe I should just try reducing the amount of emission of gas by not buying regular burritos but premium burritos.

I hope we don't run out of shit because over half of the world probably won't live without using them.

Oh shi- gas prices are getting high too O_o

but uhh yeah I'll take 100 shit thank you.

btw idk I'm bored lol

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 10:40 PM
Okay here we go.

*sits down*
"I'd like one Club Sandwich please, and give me a handle of Bicardi while you're at it."
That'll be $13.98. Enjoy your food. If you need anything, just holler.

Shit dog I cook a mean rib-eye!


Name: Krob Lobster.

Age: 17.

Goals: Get laid.


Hobbies: Stalking women, having sexual fantasties, cooking a mean rib eye.

Volunteer Experience: I trafficked drugs before?


Work Experience: Hauling hay, Blasting fools, selling shit.

References: I have none mothafucka.














Alright, fry me up some of them Buffalo Wings and a scoop of shit.
Your resume has been filed.

That's $7.99. Would you like a dessert on this fabulous evening?

O_O omg shit is getting expensive these days >.> I think I'm going to have to find a more environment safe fuel for it. Or maybe I should just try reducing the amount of emission of gas by not buying regular burritos but premium burritos.

I hope we don't run out of shit because over half of the world probably won't live without using them.

Oh shi- gas prices are getting high too O_o

but uhh yeah I'll take 100 shit thank you.

btw idk I'm bored lol
That'll be $50.00. Cash or credit?

Nodd
05-27-2008, 10:44 PM
"Sir, this Club Sandwich has a baby seal in it!
Club Sandwiches, NOT seals!
Goodness gracious, I am going to have to demand a refund!"

Krob
05-27-2008, 10:48 PM
My shit has nuts in it! I'm allergic to nuts!

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 10:53 PM
"Sir, this Club Sandwich has a baby seal in it!
Club Sandwiches, NOT seals!
Goodness gracious, I am going to have to demand a refund!"


My shit has nuts in it! I'm allergic to nuts!
Read the fine print, you two.

No refunds. We are not liable for any illnesses received when consuming our food. EAT AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Nodd
05-27-2008, 10:56 PM
"This is preposterous, I refuse to pay for this food!"

STUFF
05-27-2008, 10:57 PM
Wendy's Brand Chili to go please

Buttons
05-27-2008, 10:58 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Energious Polythenious or Energy

Age: 13.

Goals: To gain some goals.

Hobbies:
Gaining goals.

Volunteer Experience:
I gained a goal once I think.

Work Experience:
In 2003 I gained a goal for someone else. I got a nickel.

References:
Call Joe Polis. I gained him a goal.

Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.

Lone Wolf
05-27-2008, 10:58 PM
Name:Wolf
Age:12
Goals:To get a decent job.
Experience:I have cooked many dishes for my family, including burgers, steaks, and almost any other meat item you can think of.
Reasons:I would like this job because I could use the money, and that this job seems to be the only one open. Although my experience is minimal, I would be happy working as a waitress, cook, or janitor as long as I get paid a decent amount. My age doesn't limit me however, so you will find that I am a well qualified person.

Thank you for reading my resume, and I hope you will consider me as a possible candidate for any job.

"And can I have some chicken fingers please?"

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 11:03 PM
Wendy's Brand Chili to go please
Let me get my scissors. Just a sec...

Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Energious Polythenious or Energy

Age: 13.

Goals: To gain some goals.

Hobbies:
Gaining goals.

Volunteer Experience:
I gained a goal once I think.

Work Experience:
In 2003 I gained a goal for someone else. I got a nickel.

References:
Call Joe Polis. I gained him a goal.

Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.
Your resume has been filed.

Name:Wolf
Age:12
Goals:To get a decent job.
Experience:I have cooked many dishes for my family, including burgers, steaks, and almost any other meat item you can think of.
Reasons:I would like this job because I could use the money, and that this job seems to be the only one open. Although my experience is minimal, I would be happy working as a waitress, cook, or janitor as long as I get paid a decent amount. My age doesn't limit me however, so you will find that I am a well qualified person.

Thank you for reading my resume, and I hope you will consider me as a possible candidate for any job.

"And can I have some chicken fingers please?"
That will cost you $7.99. Remember to leave a generous tip.

mraznbuddy
05-27-2008, 11:05 PM
That'll be $50.00. Cash or credit?

uhh.... "shit"

(i think it should be run away time now)




=bai bai= <( ' n ')

stare
05-27-2008, 11:07 PM
Wow, what a spacious place you've got here! *Looks around

OK.....hmmmm Onion Rings, Shit-with a side of goose droppings, and perhaps a long island ice tea?

Smashdood
05-27-2008, 11:08 PM
Que pasa, I would like to apply as Hispanic janitor. My name is Jose, and I am not a corporate spy. You should hire me because, joo know, democrats.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 11:12 PM
Wow, what a spacious place you've got here! *Looks around

OK.....hmmmm Onion Rings, Shit-with a side of goose droppings, and perhaps a long island ice tea?
Done and Done. Come again.

Que pasa, I would like to apply as Hispanic janitor. My name is Jose, and I am not a corporate spy. You should hire me because, joo know, democrats.
Your resume has been filed.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-27-2008, 11:16 PM
Resume Status:

NodBarnacle: Rejected! We hire employees with respect for our food!

Krob: Rejected! You are way too creepy...

Energy: Rejected! Needs more cowbe- I mean goals. You need more goals.

Lone Wolf: Rejected! You need more experience in the field. We don't hire newbs!

Smashdood: Accepted, but only because we need ethnic minorities.

Note that we are still hiring, to those interested.

stare
05-27-2008, 11:27 PM
POINT AT SELF=Interested

Name-Stare

Age-16

Goals-To be a cook at the FAMOUS SPP Restuant

Hobbies- ....Working on it

Mental status- Unmental

Literacacy Reat- -3

Skills- +28, Yessss

Resume=FILED

LN3uq
05-27-2008, 11:34 PM
hey mother****a, cans i lives in yo bafroom an shit?
i help give yu guys shit for da menu

Buttons
05-27-2008, 11:36 PM
Did I mention I was black?

Vincent
05-27-2008, 11:36 PM
hummina huh?...
I'll take the most expensive thing... I feel like shit dinning tonight.

Nodd
05-27-2008, 11:40 PM
"I actually spent a lot of time on my resume.
I'm going to go kill myself.. there's no place left in this world for me.."
*RUNS TOWARD KNIVES IN RESTAURANT*

Dudeman
05-28-2008, 12:07 AM
Did I mention I was black?
Black robots don't exist. Chef, strike this statement from the records.


:Undercover:

Real
05-28-2008, 12:08 AM
Name: Real

Objective: To be an efficient and conscientious internet forum restauranteur.

Education: Relevant education to this position includes but is not limited to the fact that I am not, nor have I ever been, retarded.

Experience: I have had internet access for roughly 12-13 years. I've had extensive QWERTY-keyboard training, including creating hilarious names for members of my party in Oregon Trail, programming "Wheel of Fortune" in C++, cybering on all messenger services, making Bonzai Buddy say inappropriate phrases, myriad English and Spanish essays (and at least one esé), several Geocities pages, countless forum posts, and, finally, (here comes an unfunny one) mathematical typesetting in LaTeX. Furthermore, I frequently consume food for sustenance, thereby providing me with extensive knowledge on the subject. For additional experience, see the 'References' section.

Accomplishments: I recently watched 2girls1cup, 2girls1finger, and 4girlsfingerpainting one after the other, without blinking or looking away. This is not the first time I have done this. Besides that, to my knowledge, there is no key on the standard QWERTY-keyboard that I have not typed.

Other Skills: I can move each of my eyes individually in different directions. It doesn't even hurt anymore. (I am not blind.)

References: Your mother, girlfriend/wife, and sister can all tell you about how good I am. I think your pet has a good idea too, if you know what I mean.

StrunG
05-28-2008, 12:30 AM
Name: Strung

Age: 16 in August

Job applying for: SPP Restaurant Chef

Experience: I was the winner of season 2 of Hell's Kitchen. I've also been to Benihana's twice.

Accomplishments: In the last biannual SPP awards, I tied for third for something. This is an accomplishment in it's own.

Skills: I can cook. I can also keep a beat without a metronome. I am 1/16 Native American, which would add some more diversity to this fine establishment.


References:
http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/Gordon%20Ramsay3(1).jpg

Myself
05-28-2008, 02:17 AM
I'm here to apply as a drink mixer.

I'm from soviet russia.

Scarecrow
05-28-2008, 03:22 AM
------------------------------------ ------------------------------------
------------------------------------


Job Application: Resume:

Photograph:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/Jaws_by_Richard_Kiel_1.jpg
Name: Zbigniew 'Jawz' Krycsiwiki
Age: 943.

Applying for: Food chewer

Reasons for applying: I believe customers should have the choice to not have to chew their food if their jaws become tired! I can chew their food for them! I like to chew!

Goals:
To continue being as awesome as I currently am, and make any businesses at which I work even more awesome then they were before they hired me. And to chew food.

Hobbies:
In my spare time, I like to be awesome, and bite through people's jugulars. Also I like to chew.

Volunteer Experience:
I volunteered to assist several criminals in the assassination of James Bond, but later realised the campaign was wrong and turned to protect him.

Work Experience:
I was an assassin for hire. I chewed stuff.

Skills:

Awesomeness
I have a metal jaw, so I can chew stuff really easily.
MEGASTRENGTH


References:
Call James Bond, he'll tell you how good I am at chewing




Anything else:



Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.





PS: I am great.




------------------------------------
------------------------------------ ------------------------------------






"While I'm here, I think I'll have some lunch. Could I please get the Buffalo wings, a SPPBurger, and a brownie. Oh, and, a gin and tonic please! Thank you sir!"

Myself
05-28-2008, 03:58 AM
Well I would get you a gin and tonic put they havn't reviewed my application yet.

Scarecrow
05-28-2008, 04:04 AM
"I see. That would indeed be good service! Well, the best of luck to you, when they do review your application."

Mantha
05-28-2008, 04:38 AM
I would like to apply for waiting the tables, good sir.

I have many recommendations from ... my mother.

Myself
05-28-2008, 05:09 AM
Also, robots are servitile.

Mantha
05-28-2008, 05:14 AM
Indeed they are.

I too am from Soviet Russia.

Myself
05-28-2008, 05:18 AM
In Soviet Russia robot serves you!

As well as here. Get cracking.

Steyene
05-28-2008, 05:51 AM
------------------------------------ ------------------------------------
------------------------------------


Job Application: Resume:

Photograph:

Name: Steiner
Age: 18


Applying for: Lawyer

Reasons for applying: I believe customers this establishment should have a high quality legal service for, the sticky situations of Customers suing due to death or the like. Also I am Australian and as a result am able to bring Kangaroo steaks for the lean meat eaters.

Goals: To be as successful as possible and not lose a case.
Hobbies: I am assassin in my spare time, which just happens to be another solution if a customer refuses to die fast enough.

Volunteer Experience:
I have provided my assassination skills, on such simple target as JFK, Saddam and the World Trade Centers. All were killed via food poisoning, the rest was just to move the blame

Work Experience:
I was an assassin for hire. I've made customers eat stuff, specifically dirt if required by The Firm. I have also defended my self from a organization called The Government, whom were trying to send me to gaol*.

I have also defended countless men who have been accused of kiddy fiddling, I have won 99.97% of cases. The 00.03% that were lost, as my client engaged with sexual practices with the defendant.

Skills:
Food poisoning skills
Briefcase carrying skills
References:
No one, as they are either all dead or in gaol*.




Anything else:
* Gaol = Jail for you Americans



Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.

Order:

1 Surf and Turf
1 Club sandwich
1 Brownie
2 Shots of Red star Vodka
3 Shot of liquid Bundy Bear

Mantha
05-28-2008, 05:51 AM
My application hasn't been reviewed yet.

*sigh*

I'll be at the bar ... one gin and tonic please ...

Myself
05-28-2008, 06:23 AM
Here you go.

Dragonkof
05-28-2008, 07:08 AM
can i be that lamp over there?

Mantiscore2
05-28-2008, 07:10 AM
This is ****ing strange.

Mantha
05-28-2008, 07:15 AM
What's so strange?

Myself
05-28-2008, 07:20 AM
My drinks are not strange!

New Generation
05-28-2008, 07:21 AM
This thread is hilarious.

"I would like 10 chicken fingers please..."

Scarecrow
05-28-2008, 07:47 AM
"Would you like-a that chewed?


Oh, I'm sorry, I'm practising for if I get the job."

Bonk
05-28-2008, 09:18 AM
food poisoning!

ack!

New Generation
05-28-2008, 09:39 AM
No, I like to chew my own food, it's tasty!...

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-28-2008, 10:02 AM
Name: Real

Objective: To be an efficient and conscientious internet forum restauranteur.

Education: Relevant education to this position includes but is not limited to the fact that I am not, nor have I ever been, retarded.

Experience: I have had internet access for roughly 12-13 years. I've had extensive QWERTY-keyboard training, including creating hilarious names for members of my party in Oregon Trail, programming "Wheel of Fortune" in C++, cybering on all messenger services, making Bonzai Buddy say inappropriate phrases, myriad English and Spanish essays (and at least one esé), several Geocities pages, countless forum posts, and, finally, (here comes an unfunny one) mathematical typesetting in LaTeX. Furthermore, I frequently consume food for sustenance, thereby providing me with extensive knowledge on the subject. For additional experience, see the 'References' section.

Accomplishments: I recently watched 2girls1cup, 2girls1finger, and 4girlsfingerpainting one after the other, without blinking or looking away. This is not the first time I have done this. Besides that, to my knowledge, there is no key on the standard QWERTY-keyboard that I have not typed.

Other Skills: I can move each of my eyes individually in different directions. It doesn't even hurt anymore. (I am not blind.)

References: Your mother, girlfriend/wife, and sister can all tell you about how good I am. I think your pet has a good idea too, if you know what I mean.
You are not hired. We need a different position than the one you applied for.

Name: Strung

Age: 16 in August

Job applying for: SPP Restaurant Chef

Experience: I was the winner of season 2 of Hell's Kitchen. I've also been to Benihana's twice.

Accomplishments: In the last biannual SPP awards, I tied for third for something. This is an accomplishment in it's own.

Skills: I can cook. I can also keep a beat without a metronome. I am 1/16 Native American, which would add some more diversity to this fine establishment.


References:
http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/Gordon%20Ramsay3(1).jpg
You are hired. We are in great need of a chef. I hope you are prepared to put in unpaid overtime.

I'm here to apply as a drink mixer.

I'm from soviet russia.
Not hired.



------------------------------------ ------------------------------------
------------------------------------


Job Application: Resume:

Photograph:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/Jaws_by_Richard_Kiel_1.jpg
Name: Zbigniew 'Jawz' Krycsiwiki
Age: 943.

Applying for: Food chewer

Reasons for applying: I believe customers should have the choice to not have to chew their food if their jaws become tired! I can chew their food for them! I like to chew!

Goals:
To continue being as awesome as I currently am, and make any businesses at which I work even more awesome then they were before they hired me. And to chew food.

Hobbies:
In my spare time, I like to be awesome, and bite through people's jugulars. Also I like to chew.

Volunteer Experience:
I volunteered to assist several criminals in the assassination of James Bond, but later realised the campaign was wrong and turned to protect him.

Work Experience:
I was an assassin for hire. I chewed stuff.

Skills:

Awesomeness
I have a metal jaw, so I can chew stuff really easily.
MEGASTRENGTH


References:
Call James Bond, he'll tell you how good I am at chewing




Anything else:



Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.





PS: I am great.




------------------------------------
------------------------------------ ------------------------------------






"While I'm here, I think I'll have some lunch. Could I please get the Buffalo wings, a SPPBurger, and a brownie. Oh, and, a gin and tonic please! Thank you sir!"
We are not in need of a food chewer. I will get you your order in a sec...

I would like to apply for waiting the tables, good sir.

I have many recommendations from ... my mother.
I don't want to appear sexist, so you can be on the workforce. Simply bring the customers their food and their bill. Demand a tip.


------------------------------------ ------------------------------------
------------------------------------


Job Application: Resume:

Photograph:

Name: Steiner
Age: 18


Applying for: Lawyer

Reasons for applying: I believe customers this establishment should have a high quality legal service for, the sticky situations of Customers suing due to death or the like. Also I am Australian and as a result am able to bring Kangaroo steaks for the lean meat eaters.

Goals: To be as successful as possible and not lose a case.
Hobbies: I am assassin in my spare time, which just happens to be another solution if a customer refuses to die fast enough.

Volunteer Experience:
I have provided my assassination skills, on such simple target as JFK, Saddam and the World Trade Centers. All were killed via food poisoning, the rest was just to move the blame

Work Experience:
I was an assassin for hire. I've made customers eat stuff, specifically dirt if required by The Firm. I have also defended my self from a organization called The Government, whom were trying to send me to gaol*.

I have also defended countless men who have been accused of kiddy fiddling, I have won 99.97% of cases. The 00.03% that were lost, as my client engaged with sexual practices with the defendant.

Skills:
Food poisoning skills
Briefcase carrying skills
References:
No one, as they are either all dead or in gaol*.




Anything else:
* Gaol = Jail for you Americans



Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.

Order:

1 Surf and Turf
1 Club sandwich
1 Brownie
2 Shots of Red star Vodka
3 Shot of liquid Bundy Bear
I'll get you that in a sec, also you are not accepted. I do not need any lawyers snooping around.


My application hasn't been reviewed yet.

*sigh*

I'll be at the bar ... one gin and tonic please ...
Coming right up.

This thread is hilarious.

"I would like 10 chicken fingers please..."
Fresh off of the frying pan, here you go.

Chimaera
05-28-2008, 12:05 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Mr.E (Chimaera) Bear.

Age:16 y.o.a

Goals:
To become the world's greatest Pokemon master. And if that doesn't work out, I plan to be a professional waiter.

Hobbies:
I enjoy talking to people, sport, and learning languages.

Volunteer Experience:
I have preformed several voluntary services, of which all my contractors found to be most satisfying.

Work Experience:
I was romantically involved with a Catholic girl for 13 months, I learnt how to wait. I have also worked as a waiter for a total of 7 months, 5 days and 17 hours at Fleur Maison, an incredibly prestigious restaurant in Paris.

References:
You can contact Senior Blausemeré (****inggoodfood@hotmail.co.uk) who previously employed my waiting services.


Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.

Überschall
05-28-2008, 12:10 PM
Okay punks, get out the fucking booze. Get me a bottle of vodka and I'll be fine with that.

52xM
05-28-2008, 01:33 PM
Yes, hello, I was wondering if you serve any canned noob?
No? How unfortunate. I think you should consider adding this item to your menu.

I'll just be seated here in the table in the corner until you add noob in a can into your menu.
I'd also like a Fanta.

Chimaera
05-28-2008, 01:37 PM
Noob in a Can?

Lulz for anyone who get's that refference..

Clutch
05-28-2008, 03:55 PM
someone correct me if im wrong but isn't noob in a can made of chaos warrior with some extra bawwwwwwwwwwwww made by the famous chef mantis?

Strife
05-28-2008, 04:02 PM
Can you get me a big plate of SHUT THE **** UP

Thank you.

Krob
05-28-2008, 04:38 PM
Hello I am back again.
I request one of your fine bottles of Absinthe? Also, what is the rules on smoking in here?

Deathwish
05-28-2008, 04:51 PM
someone correct me if im wrong but isn't noob in a can made of chaos warrior with some extra bawwwwwwwwwwwww made by the famous chef mantis?

No.
It was stickdeath5555 or something stupid.
Not Cw.

Chimaera
05-28-2008, 04:54 PM
And FrAnKeH's bannage of aboyt 12 members...

Überschall
05-28-2008, 04:56 PM
Hey, the staff appears to be gone, let's take everything that's not nailed down!

Shanto
05-28-2008, 05:02 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Shanto

Age: 12 (o.O)

Goals:
To be the greatest food server/cooker ever, or perhaps a to collect all the Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Hobbies:
Making food
Serving Food
Being on SPP (Only the restaurant)

Volunteer Experience:
I volenteered at the local Bar to help being drunk, I think

Work Experience:
...well...I once killed a guy for 15 bucks, if that counts.

Krob
05-28-2008, 05:26 PM
Mraznbuddy is the new noob.

Chimaera
05-28-2008, 05:42 PM
Hey, the staff appears to be gone, let's take everything that's not nailed down!

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/1910/11sr4.png (http://imageshack.us)




http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/5685/33pd2.png (http://imageshack.us)

Überschall
05-28-2008, 05:45 PM
Well, I got the ballpoint pens already anyway, so fuck you!

Chimaera
05-28-2008, 05:55 PM
We have pens?

FUCK.

Dragon⁰⁷⁷
05-28-2008, 06:01 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Mr.E (Chimaera) Bear.

Age:16 y.o.a

Goals:
To become the world's greatest Pokemon master. And if that doesn't work out, I plan to be a professional waiter.

Hobbies:
I enjoy talking to people, sport, and learning languages.

Volunteer Experience:
I have preformed several voluntary services, of which all my contractors found to be most satisfying.

Work Experience:
I was romantically involved with a Catholic girl for 13 months, I learnt how to wait. I have also worked as a waiter for a total of 7 months, 5 days and 17 hours at Fleur Maison, an incredibly prestigious restaurant in Paris.

References:
You can contact Senior Blausemeré (****inggoodfood@hotmail.co.uk) who previously employed my waiting services.


Thank you for reviewing my resume and I hope that no matter your decision to hire me or not, that your business continues staying successful.

Resume filed.

Okay punks, get out the fucking booze. Get me a bottle of vodka and I'll be fine with that.
Done and done.

Yes, hello, I was wondering if you serve any canned noob?
No? How unfortunate. I think you should consider adding this item to your menu.

I'll just be seated here in the table in the corner until you add noob in a can into your menu.
I'd also like a Fanta.
I'll get you your Fanta. And thank you for the suggestion.

Can you get me a big plate of SHUT THE **** UP

Thank you.
I can certainly kick you out. No one on the staff is to serve this man.

Hello I am back again.
I request one of your fine bottles of Absinthe? Also, what is the rules on smoking in here?
There is no smoking in this joint. Remember that's $3.99

Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Shanto

Age: 12 (o.O)

Goals:
To be the greatest food server/cooker ever, or perhaps a to collect all the Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Hobbies:
Making food
Serving Food
Being on SPP (Only the restaurant)

Volunteer Experience:
I volenteered at the local Bar to help being drunk, I think

Work Experience:
...well...I once killed a guy for 15 bucks, if that counts.
We don't hire murderers.

Shanto
05-28-2008, 06:02 PM
Did I say Kill? I meant gave a guy 15 bucks.

Krob
05-28-2008, 06:03 PM
*Drinks Absinthe*

Oh God everything is green!

Devour
05-28-2008, 06:04 PM
~Resume~

Name: Devour

Age: 13

Application wanted: Waiter

Goals:
To get laid as a tip from a hot (girl) customer.

Hobbies:
Serving food
Asking to get laid
Getting laid

Volunteer Experience:
????

Work Experience:
12 years of serving food.

Also, I'd like some buffalo wings.

Shanto
05-28-2008, 06:07 PM
~Resume~

Name: Shanto

Age: 12

Application wanted: Anything, just give me anything!

Goals:
To get laid as a tip from a hot (girl) customer.

Hobbies:
Serving food
Asking to get laid
Getting laid

Volunteer Experience:
????

Work Experience:
12 years of serving food.

Fixed my Resume, sir.

Deathwish
05-28-2008, 06:10 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Tyrone blaxster

Age: 17

Goals:
To be a rapstar so i'm flipping burgers till i make it, yo.

Hobbies:
rapping
growing up on the streets

Volunteer Experience:
I sold some crack

Work Experience:
I worked at mcflippys burger

mint
05-28-2008, 06:13 PM
~RESUME~
Name: Mint
Age:13
Application wanted: Shi* digger
Goals: I have worked at many of the finest* resturaunts in the world**
Hobbies: Digging Shi*, Eating Shi*, Licking Shi*, Making Shi*, Sniffing Shi* etc.
Volunteer experience: I licked socks for a guy
Work experience: I licked some socks (13 years baby!)
Other information: *not really the finest **Its a small world
Allergies: Pollen, Shi*, Tongues, Socks, Smily faces

I hope you find this resume polished and clean and accept me in the SPP resteraunt.

P.S I'll have the most sexiest item on the menu please

Apples
05-28-2008, 06:18 PM
Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Cock

Age: Sex

Goals:
Sex

Hobbies:
Sex
Volunteer Experience:
Sex

Work Experience:
Sex

References:
Sex

mraznbuddy
05-28-2008, 06:19 PM
Mraznbuddy is the new noob.
:D yes?

wait wtf I just noticed theres no rice >:|

I'll be the rice cooker then!

Stick Page Portal Restaurant
~resume~

Name: Mr. Azn Buddy

Age: 12 and 7/4

Goals:
Make rice :|


and to become next asian comedian :D

Hobbies:
Math, study, read /bullshit]
>:c no asian stereotype now...

halo :3

Volunteer Experience:
uhh...I don't think volunteer is in my vocabulary. :|

Work Experience:
wtf is work?
I know it as do it or die.

Devour
05-28-2008, 06:28 PM
~Resume~

Name: Shanto

Age: 12

Application wanted: Anything, just give me anything!

Goals:
To get laid as a tip from a hot (girl) customer.

Hobbies:
Serving food
Asking to get laid
Getting laid

Volunteer Experience:
????

Work Experience:
12 years of serving food.

Fixed my Resume, sir.
Shanto, you suck.

Real
05-28-2008, 07:20 PM
Ah, damn, I figured you would just choose a position for me since I was vague.

I'd like to reapply with the same resumé, but this time I will be sure to make clear that I wish to be a host, considering you do not have one. If this position is not right for me, I will gladly char my skin (for appropriate ethnicity) and be a busboy.

Also, the female in my signature is available for any position (pun intended) if and only if I am hired.

Clutch
05-28-2008, 07:23 PM
No.
It was stickdeath5555 or something stupid.
Not Cw.am i getting my shit mixed up? i thought it happened to apples brother which i thought was Cw i might just be dumb.

Ill take a twisty cone of shit and vanilla ice cream btw

Myself
05-29-2008, 02:16 AM
I demand you hire me as a beverage maker! Or you know, at the very least, unpaid work.

Mantha
05-29-2008, 02:53 AM
am i getting my shit mixed up? i thought it happened to apples brother which i thought was Cw i might just be dumb.

Ill take a twisty cone of shit and vanilla ice cream btw
There you go. And here's the bill.

Now boss said I need to ask for a tip. So gimme tip plo0x.

Steyene
05-29-2008, 03:43 AM
****ing A don't have to pay :D

Mr. Pinkus
05-29-2008, 04:22 AM
*walks in through old western wooden doors, turns head, spits... ping*

Is ze pepper boi spot full?

Mantha
05-29-2008, 04:33 AM
Why no sir, go ahead.

What is your order?

Clutch
05-30-2008, 04:11 PM
There you go. And here's the bill.

Now boss said I need to ask for a tip. So gimme tip plo0x.
you do not need payment from me[/JEDIMINDTRICK]

Myself
05-31-2008, 11:38 PM
OUT OF BUISNESS

what