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kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 02:29 PM
This is a challenge inspired by some other persons boss fight, the contestant will be able to choose a team of 3 wRHG's to assist their wRHG in fighting this creature, the goal is to write a story on fighting this boss, multiple writers will be going against each other to complete a massive story on fighting this major boss, here are the rules is below.


1 story only per contestant.
As many people can join, this no longer a collab.
NO OVERPOWERED WRHG'S, we want a good long fight, not a short and quick fight.
All characters the writers chooses must either fighting or supporting, some characters can sit in the sidelines for recharging energy however.
Those who join must have the free time to do so
THIS IS A SINGLE PERSON PROJECT, you cannot ask for help from other people in the competition or outside the competition, those found asking for help will be disqualified.
NO MAKING THE PEOPLE YOU CHOOSE AS IDIOTS, if you make the wRHG's you choose completely useless in your story then you will be disqualified, nobody wants to see their wRHG as a pathetic useless character.
IF you do not meet the deadline you are disqualified, the deadline will be increased to two months because I noticed many people may have things needed to be done.





DRAKNAR (The boss character)

Appearance
About the size of a 40 story building, one single glowing blue eye (its a cyclops), brown skin made of stone however the head is not armored with stone, its head is colored dark orange, bald no hair on the head at all, 7 multi-colored stones with runic writing on it are on the forehead in a circle, one massive stone rune in the center of the 7 smaller runes, spiked stone fists, at the top of its head a light blue symbol lies there, jagged and messed up teeth, usually seen with a creepy smile.

Personality: ANGRY AT EVERYTHING, this beast has no remorse over the "lesser beings" or the wRHG's, massive brute who cares not about the life of others, feels joy when it kills its foes and laughs when they threaten to kill him.

Abilities
Rune elemental creation: can fire different shots directly from the runes, they can come as a beam, a projectile, or a slow ball of energy, the ball of energy does the most damage towards anything but its slow, the beam does the least damage but it hits the target instantly, you need to know how to slow down time or run incredibly fast in order to dodge a beam shot.
Rune elements: these are the different elemental shots that can be fired (Ice, water, fire, air, lightning, earth, life, and the most powerful of them all is void, void is the largest and is in the center of the circle)
Massive fists and muscles: its a massive giant, can shake the ground you walk on by stepping on the ground, so of course its gonna be strong.
Minions: the creature comes with small little shadow demons, about the size of your everyday wRHG, they are skilled in combat and will last quite a bit, however they are extremely weak to ranged attacks and will die instantly if hit by a ranged attack, they can come in any form and can have any strength, speed, and intelligence. However they only excel in one part, so they could be strong but slow, fast but weak.
VOID powers: the void element is strong because it not only allows the giant to create shadow demons, but it fires a really powerful ball of energy, the ball of energy goes at a moderate speed, and if it hits you or nearby you it acts as a 20 second black hole, if your character is sucked in the black hole your character is sent up into the large void rune, never to escape unless the creature is killed.

WEAKNESSES (important)
All eight runes: if you hit the runes they will fall off the giants head, however these take quite a beating in order to fall, so you either need a strong character or a super quick attacking character in your team.
The head symbol: its a very weak point, however getting their is no easy task, unless you have a flying unit or incredible climber on your team.
Slow: its incredibly slow when it comes to physical attacks and movement speed, this is extremely good if you have a fast moving character or a flying character on your team.
Low intelligence: the creature is incredibly stupid allowing all smart to average characters to easily outsmart it on its moves.
Rune usage: all the small 7 runes take 20 minutes to recharge after usage, while its massive single rune takes 60 minutes to recharge its attack, minion making takes 30 seconds to recharge each time used.

Story: you come up with its story and how it is told, maybe an old man at the bar told you the story of a massive creature, or you explored an ancient Egyptian pyramid and saw the story behind the creature.

JUDGES:
MEEEE! (kingkickass2013)
Acutelatios
ChamelNeon

People and their wRHG's joining in the challenge to defeat this creature:
Crankuba (August with no team)
Lethal2 (Rafael, and has a quad team consisting of Nitro, Veir big, and Nox)
Smittiwerm (Candy, and has a trio team of Ned and Zeus)
J.Christian (Mile, and has a quad team of Rafael, Karugame, and Jones Mclore)
Aiman (Aiman, and has a quad team of Arvine, Maple and Junmax)
GamerXD8 (Lucario, and has a quad team of Rafael, Aiman, and Frost)


Time till the people can no longer join in the competition.
20 days from now.
In dating terms, 4/7/2013

Time till the boss fight starts and the story writing begins, remember work with your team to write the story and defeat this massive creature.
two months from now, PLENTY of time for the people who joined to make a worthy story.
In dating terms, 5/17/2013

Alright their are 5 categories of judging, each one has a rating 1/10. 1 being the worst, 10 being the best
out of all 5 categories of judging, whoever has the most points wins, a tie will take place if two people have the same exact number of points (example, This person got a 1 on settings, a 10 on plot, a 10 on characters, a 4 on grammar, and a 1 on the monster. So adding all of these up, we get 25 points for that person, that's his score and that's his number on the list)

SETTINGS: the area around your character and characters.
PLOT: why is your character suddenly going on this quest to defeat a monster, and whats happening here.
CHARACTERS: did you get your characters right? are they using the right abilities? (example, Zeus does not have any water powers, so he shouldn't be using water powers)
GRAMMAR: now if you have like one or two grammar errors then don't fret, now if you have grammar errors all over your story then your gonna have some trouble, this also includes words used in the wrong context.
THE BOSS MONSTER: how good did you make it and fight it, and how good did you get its powers.

The maximum possible points is 150.




-Lobotomizer 3/1/0/1
Kalena Eirwen
Sword of Truth (Manipulates Earth), Extra sensory, Transient Blade

-Rochedan 2/0/0/0
Luther Wright
Hard skin, Close combat expert, Focus, Breath, Speed, Rage, Energy burst

-Anywho 1/0/0/0
Ned
Pop Bottle

-Cooling Fever 1/0/0/0
Zachary Miles
Necromancer with demon powers. Has a sword that eats souls.

-Loki 1/0/0/0
Demon Fodder
Garmlin: Skaiv: [Dagger, traps, shurikens] The Stranger: [Short sword, torch, knife, strategic genius]

- Luzoto 2/1/0/0
Lexel
Assault rifle gun-blade, Katana gunblade

-Sacred 1/0/0/0
Sacred
Controlling and concentrating molecules.

-Sadko 1/0/0/0
Jacob Red
Arsenal of weapons, Fire and radioactivity resistance, Technic exoskeleton suit

-Shadowkirby 2/1/0/1
Todesberuhrung (Deathtouch)
Immortality, strength, cursed hand, pain immunity.

-Shaq-of-All-Trades 1/0/0/0
Flipside
Pure/Chaotic form, Healing/Harmful touch, Light bo staff/Dark scythe

-Triss 1/0/1/0
Arvine, the Dragon Mage
Teleport, Blast, Water Prison, Water Shield, Lightning Arrows, Dragonic Merges

-Crankuba .5/0/1/0
August Pine
RazorDisks, PortalDisks, Glider

-Devour .5/0/0/0
Liam Ivory
Absorbs, converts and controls energy. Extremely clever.

-Lt Colonel Summers .5/0/0/0
Lt Colonel Summers
TX-120, Impulser

-acutelatios 0/0/0/0
Rhami and Astor
Enchanted bow (Rhami), Shape shifting (Astor), Mental Communication between them

-Balistiik 0/0/0/0
Shelby Izaki
Observational skills, swordsmanship and marksmanship. Living weapons factory.

-BlizzyGuy 0/0/0/0
Jones McLore
Lightning Spear, The Lightning Brothers, Lightning Bolt Manipulation

-C1225 0/0/0/0
Bow
Medieval weapons and armor, Elemental magic and arrows

-Camila 0/0/0/0
Krystal
Form diamond spikes, Turn into pure diamond, Resistant to cuts

-ChamelNeon 0/0/0/0
Stitches
Detachable limbs held together by metal wire

-Chromium7 0/0/0/0
Delta
SMG with extendable scythe blade, Butterfly knife

-Cuarto 0/0/0/0
Dos
Gunslinger, Close Combat, Spawn Ammo-kits, Spawn Katanas

-DelorMaximus 0/0/0/0
Serena, the Deathsinger
Vocal harmonies, Wakizashi

-Equinox 0/0/0/0
Equinox
Sixth sense, Proficient swordsmanship, Blind Fury

-ErinButt 0/0/0/0
Aquarius
Manipulate water in all three forms: Ice, water, and steam

-FIDST 0/0/0/0
Battlefield
Creates soldiers, weapons and vehicles from his chest.

-Guitarii 0/0/0/0
Happy
Fights based off mood

-Hewitt 0/0/1/0
Ashe Mercay
Necromantic Vision, Psychic Hotline, Impervious to Suffering, Surface Locomotion, Cursed Revolvers.

-J.Christian 0/0/0/0
Lan "Mile"C. Edge
Copy moves/gladiator

-jli 0/0/0/0
Prometheus
Foresight, Bow and Arrows

-Justino 0/0/0/0
Karugame
Ice Bending

-Kyra 0/0/1/0
Kyra
Telekinesis, Cyan Blue Energy Balls

Lethal2 1/1/1/0
Raf
Scythe, Fantasy Halberd, Spear, Weapon Fusion

-Linkonpark100 0/0/0/0
Esoniel Lapsbes (X-7)
Energy shields, blasts and wings. Can turn energy into weapons. Forms. Wings.

-LittleGirl 0/0/0/0
Maple
Control electricity, Fold-able axe

-Maroon 0/0/0/0
Denzel McKRea
Hard skin, Knife, High agility

-Meow~ 0/0/0/0
Nuetron
Fire, Water, Earth, Lightning

-MicVier4 0/0/0/0
Vier Big
A giant who is all brute strength. Fights with a big iron hammer.

-MusicalPenguin 0/0/0/0
Phelix the Pheonix
Flight, Fire manipulation/immunity, Regeneration

-Necrothing 0/0/0/0
Agatha the Shadowmancer
Shadow Manipulation, Necromancy, Berserk, Undead

-NecroTik 0/0/0/0
Solutum
Gemini Finis, Arma Stellarum, Create illusions, Poison blood, Omnipotent, Manipulate physical/conceptual forces

pluto_kun- 0/0/0/0
Pluto
"Truth", Dragon Fang Dagger, Obsidian Estoc, Dragon Form, Portals

-SharpThaAwesomeStick 1/1/0/0
Nitro
Hand to Weapon transformation, Hand-To-Hand

-SJCRPV 2/2/0/0
Sebastian
Boy with demon powers used to enhance physical abilities

-Skiepher01 0/0/0/0
Nukboy
Indestructible knives, Explosives, Perception, Altered body, Nuclear Abilities (Flame, Bolt, Boost, Nuke, Nuclear Form)

-The_Stick 0/0/0/0
The Stick
Energy manipulation, Acidic spit and blood, Bulletproof skin, Ultimate form: Tail, Sharp teeth, Shapeshifting, Air manipulation

-xiAmazing 0/0/0/0
Key
Combat Knife, H&K MP7, Silver Colt 1911, 3 Frag Grenades, 1 Flash Bang

-??? 0/0/0/0
Slime-E
Shape-shifting

-_Aiman_ 0/1/1/0
Aiman
Several elemental forms, each with their own weapon.

-Azxc 0/1/0/0
NinjaKill
Whirlpool, Shockwave, Fire/Electric/Poisonous Staff, Pistol, Shinobi

-Bladed Fire 0/1/0/0
Junmax
Elemental sword and badminton racket

-Bond84 0/1/1/0
Jibber Jabber
Able to shape the words he speaks into textual weapons.

-dield 0/1/0/0
Lance Cloudspeaker
Treydan form, Spark touch, Staff

DragonFrost 0/1/0/0
Fr0st
Bow, Five frozen arrows, Knife

-SmittiWerm 0/1/0/0
Candy
Super strength and speed, Influence

-SpeerMintty 1/2/0/1
Danny Smithson
Illusions depending on Emotion

-Thuiy 0/1/0/0
Scrios Mais
Earth telekinesis (Earthbending) and explosion manipulation (causing things to explode relative to their distance to him)
[I]Zeus's brother "Hades" and nightshade
-kingkickass2013 0/2/1/0
Zeus
Unbreakable weapon and armor, Magical runes, Footmen, Shield runes, Darkness's bane, Alcoholic tolerance, Priest companion

-Subzero1112 1/3/0/0
Nox
Scythe, Dark Magic, Soul Powers

-cowboy bodacious 0/4/0/0
Bodacious
Super strength, Can speak to animals, Colt .45, Lasso

THESE WERE COPIED DIRECTLY FROM THE HALL OF WARRIORS, man Crackuba is an awesome person isn't he

anyway you pick 3 of these soldiers to join your wRHG in your story to defeat this guy, example: my character is Zeus and I choose Lexel, Cowboy Bodacious, and Danny Smithson to assist my character on defeating this giant, the owners of those people don't have the choice on whether I choose their characters or not, just as long as I don't make their characters look like an idiot.

When you have completed your story, PM me it, if its too long then send it here at the page itself in a spoiler, I shall copy and paste it and then send it at the front page.

STORIES (or the contestant entries):

Forest

"Monster? Runes? God, that's too awesome. Tell me more about it please!"

It was a fine day, indeed it is. Raf was in a park, with his friend who's name is Aiman. The park was absolutely crowded, and it's pretty noisy though. Raf and Aiman were talking about this monster that lives in a deep dungeon which they're not sure if it do exist.

"Sure, the monster lives in a really deep dungeon, a dungeon that I don't even know where it is located, but I'm sure this dungeon and the monster really exist, check it out on the internet and you might find a great answer. By the way, I got to go so bye!" Aiman stood up with a wave from his hand and then started running through the gateway.

Raf just stayed there, thinking about the dungeon and the monster too. After at about 1 minute, he quickly stood up and picked up his backpack, he proceeded to run as fast as he can. I need to find an answer about this monster!, he thought with a sweaty hair. After at about 4 minutes of running, he finally reached his home, Raf quickly scavenged his backpack and got his key for the door. He inserted it at the doorknob and spinned it, after that it's unlocked.

The lights was closed after he went in. He walked slowly to find the switch to light up the whole room, suddenly he found it that was 6 meters away from him, he then followed it and switched it up.

"Now for the internet."

He ran upstairs and quickly went inside in his room. He turned on his laptop and searched different answers for the monster. He can't even find a proper answer though, but after about 24 seconds of searching and searching, he finally found an article that is focused about the monster in Google.

"Not sure if this answer is correct but let me check it." he said while clicking it with his cursor. What he read is the following message:

MAY 12, 2013: A MONSTER IN A CAVE? 7 boys who is about to make a campsite in a forest suddenly heard a loud howl from an unknown creature. It was said that the monster that made a big howl really exists somewhere but some peoples says it lives in a dungeon. The campers investigated a mountain that leads you to a deep dungeon but a news was heard that the boys never returned in New York, although only one boy survived who's name is "Jack Flint", we interviewed him and he told us the story and what happened: "Well it all started when it was night. Me and my 6 friends were about to go for a campsite, a minute later when we were having a fun time drinking beers, we heard a strong howl somewhere which freaked all of us. After that, we ran and stopped for awhile, a friend of mine who's name is Jeff Anderson said that we should investigate a bit big mountain that we saw in the forest, after for an hour of climbing up, we saw this creepy cave which leads you into madness; we went in and suddenly this monster showed up and ate each of my friends, luckily I was safe because after I heard the howl when we were in the mountain, I quickly descended down and ran for safety, my friends never listened to me that it might be dangerous, after all of that happened. I ran back in the cities and I noticed that I lost a lot of my friends. I hope this monster gets killed so some of the guys and girls going to go in that forest will not get slayed by this creature!". That was all what he told about us, I also forgot that he said that the creature can be found in Lecor Forest.

"Oh... God, I better start searching for this monster, it may harm other peoples who are about to go for that forest!"

Raf shut down his computer and went outside from his haven, he closed the door and searched for a taxi. 32 seconds of waiting, a taxi arrived and stopped at where Raf were standing. He went in the back seat and locked himself with a seatbelt.
"Lecor Forest is my location, here I'm paying you 2 bucks."

"Okay. Lock your door sir." The driver started the engine and moved on continously with a bubblegum in his mouth.

Raf looked at the window to see each house he past on. He can see bicycles parked in front of a garage, different cars passing by from the taxi and peoples walking in the street. He remembered how good things were back when he was still a kid.

"Lecor Forest, right?" The taxi driver asked while popping a bubblegum.

"Yeah. Lecor Forest."

God, I feel like I want to puke with this air conditioner!, thought Raf as he cover his mouth with his stretched right palm. 12 minutes had passed, the driver noticed they're almost near and Raf's pretty excited to go for a dangerous adventure. The taxi suddenly stopped, and Raf noticed that they're already in the place called "Lecor Forest".

"You may step out now, have fun!"

"I'm not really going to have fun but thanks by the way." Raf unlocked himself from the seatbelt and unlocked the door, he went out and closed it. The cab then proceeded to leave, Raf turned backwards, there were crows flying in the sky, it was a bit silent and he thought that the monster is currently sleeping.

Okay... here we go..., he then started walking and went inside the land filled with long and thick trees, cricket sounds were being heard in the forest, bird's chirps filled Raf's ears. Suddenly Raf saw a glowing red far away from him, it might be someone or it might be... humans! Wait, what's that glowing red I can see!, he ran and ran to chase it with his fast legs, he then hid in the trees when he was about 6 meters away from them, what he saw is 2 guys talking with each of them holding a stick with flames at the top of it, but the other guy was holding a hammer, too. Peoples huh? I should remain hidden to avoid attracting their attention!. Raf then listened at what the 2 were talking about.

"Haha! I know right? We can beat this monster with our hard fist! Haha!"

"Fist can't hurt a large monster, your hammer can do the work!"

"My hammer? Indeed! Even my large body can smash that coward monster into small pieces!"

Are they talking about the monster? God, is this guys also have powers?, Raf quickly discontinued himself in listening from this guys, he quickly ran in the leaves to avoid being seen.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?

"I'm sure I heard something sneaking at us. Get your weapons ready! It might be a goblin or a minion that the monster sent to wipe us!"

The two stopped at what they're doing, Raf noticed that he was heard and stood steadily to avoid making sounds. The two quickly scouted a small area. I guess I should just show myself from this guys.

"Alright, alright. Don't shoot me, here I am. I wasn't sneaking at both of you, I came here to slay this monster you guys were talking about." Raf walked slowly with his hands raised up.

"Wait, you listened to us? Golly molly! Anyways, what's your name? I'm Veir, or you may call me as Veir Big!"

"Raf, Rafael Leonardo of New Jersey, I'm currently here in New York so yeah."

"I'm Nitro. We have the same plan, me and Veir came here to take down this beast. Also, how did you heard about this beast?"

Dungeon

"Nah, just in the internet. We should really be allies and start searching this beast!" said Raf.

The three then stopped talking, minutes and minutes of searching and they finally found the mountain that leads them to a shallow dungeon! The three then reached the front of the mountain and saw a cliff that guides them to the top.

"We're going to walk? What the, I don't want to waste my time walking with sweaty body!" Nitro scratched his head and stomped the ground.

"You don't need to walk, I have my powers." Raf summoned his scythe, his hands then glowed and lightning bolts sparks on it. The lighting bolts crawled through the scythe's blade, the scythe started glowing a white color.

"What's that?" asked Veir.

"Don't care about it, just ride on it"

The two nodded and splitted both of their legs and stood above the scythe, Raf joined too, he then counted from 1 to 5, after that, he slammed the scythe and brought a huge explosion that caused them to fly up above the sky. Suddenly they were dropped in front of a gateway that leads them through the dungeon.

"Holy shit, how you do that!" Nitro was shocked, he laughed like he's drunk.

"Obviously, powers."

The three started walking inside the cave slowly and silently to avoid waking up the beast, the dungeon was really big and once you get in it, you feel like you're going to die. Raf just kept walking and walking while the two buddies, Nitro and Veir, just kept talking and talking.

"Please be quiet! Both of you might wake the beast up!"

The two then stopped talking which made everything silencer than before. Suddenly a loud howl was heard inside the dungeon and an earthquake shook up the dungeon. The three started being frightened.

Combat

"Look at what you guys did! Both of you awakened the beast!" yelled Raf angrily.

"Behind you, Raf!" Both started running outside the cave like they're going to die.

"What? Both of you are so cowar-- holy shit! Holy crap!"

Raf then started running like the two did, he then summoned his dual daggers and quickly climbed at the monster's legs. What the, he's too tall!, Raf then started slashing the monster's legs but the beast doesn't feel anything, the slash is like a tickle for him.

"RAF! GET DOWN OVER HERE!" Nitro yelled from the ground.

"I CAN'T! I SHOULD PREVENT THIS BEAST FROM COMING DOWN OR ELSE EVERYTHING IS MESSED UP!"

The beast suddenly smashed Raf with its huge hands. Suddenly a sharp arrow passed by at Raf's cheeks. The arrow swiftly pierced the giant's belly button; bloods spilled on the ground while the beast howls in pain. Rafael quickly went down to conjoin with the others.

"What's that arrow?"

"Ahhh Rafael. My powers, obviously." Nitro quickly reloaded another arrow at his hands, but this time: dual.

The beast immediately jumped and caused a huge earthquake. That beast gettin' strong from time to time!. Nitro quickly aimed and aimed at the giant's torso but it won't die. Veir ran and smashed the beast's feet with his large hammer, but the creature never felt a thing. All of a sudden, the beast started running and started chasing the trio.

"Run!" Raf pulled the two by their shirts and started running like a wind. He then started summoning his scythe, a bright white glowing at the scythe started showing up, blazing fire occured at the blade and it was really... bright!

"What are you doing, you going to cause a huge explosion!" Nitro started yelling due to a lot of noisy sounds happening around him.

"Nah, we're going to have fun! Ride on it! You'll feel awesomeness!"

The two quickly ride on it, Raf then counted from 1 to 5, after that. They stopped running while the giant was still doing it, all of a sudden a blast or explosion caused the ground to create a crater. The three started flying in the sky and they were 23 miles away from the beast.

"Holy shit! I'm going to die!" Nitro yelled.

"Coward, no. We're gonna fall in a river. This is awesome!" Raf raised his hands like he's in Heaven.

The beast kept running and running without any halt. The three then fell at a river with a huge splash of water. The monster was bleeding a bit but still he kept sprinting.

"The beast's almost here! Oh my god! Nitro, fire him as many arrows as you can! Me and Veir will try to get closer and distract the beast! Don't stop firing the creature with your arrows, try hitting him in the head or eyes or everywhere!"

Nitro nodded, the two started running while the beast laughs. Nitro then reloaded his hands with arrows and started firing the beast. Time to retaliate, monster!, thought Raf while spinning his scythe.

"Veir, now in 3...2...1.. JUMP!"

The two then jumped at the legs of the beast while it is being distracted by sharp arrows. Veir squeezed the beast's skin with his fist, the monster then growled while Raf cuts his skin. A lot of bloods spilled while Nitro kept blasting arrows.

"Veir, try to distract his legs. I'll try to hit him in the brain."

"Alright, I'll do that!"

Victory

The spilling bloods from the beast filled the ground and the leaves. Veir kept squeezing and scratching the creature's skin to give him no mercy. Raf climbed slowly while he unsummon his scythe. He was sweating and he feels really hot. I feel dizzy... it's so... hot!, thought Raf.

He then quickly reached for the shoulder of the beast. The creature kept shaking and shaking, he can see the arrows that Nitro flings. Rafael then continued to reach the head, the sun was almost falling done and night is almost here.

Raf finally reached the top of the creature. Suddenly the beast blasted a big beam from his rune. Rafael almost fell with the huge shake of it. Nitro quickly canceled firing to move to another position, he almost melt from the beam but luckily he's quick.

"Damn this beast almost cut me into half!" thought Nitro as he continue to blast arrows at the beast.

Raf summoned his scythe once again, he was already at the top. Veir then climbed too to reach the shoulder of the beast so he can have a good chance in slaying it.

"Veir, what are you doing? Why are you climbing up!"

"Don't worry, I'll help you!"

Veir approached the shoulder of the beast and quickly smashed the ears with his hammer, all of a sudden the beast howled harder and again used the beam, but this time: non-stop.

"I'm dead. I better start running." said Nitro.

Nitro started running again and discontinued in attacking, the beast was so strong and it destroyed almost all trees in the forest. Police cars immediately arrived at the road seeing a beast getting beaten by someone they don't even know.

About 12 police cars arrived with 4 cops in each cars. All cops went out and started shooting at the beast, they did not noticed that a bullet won't hurt the monster.

"Damn cops! Raf, start slashing his head! Goddamn it!"

"Alright, I'll do it."

Raf's scythe started gleaming, the cops saw something at the top: a glowing white light. Blazing fires occured at the blade of the scythe itself.

"Veir, go down. This explosion is going to be serious and might kill us all."

"But why? You're gonna kill yourself!"

"Do what I say."

Veir climbed down, the beast started running and start squashing the police cars with its large feet. Beast, because you have killed a lot of peoples, it's time to pay and slay you!, yelled Raf. He then lifted his scythe with a shout.

"Now die in hell!!!" Raf slashed and smashed his scythe's blade at the top of the head. A hole was created and the creature's single eye become white, an explosion occured which is really strong that made the cops fly away. Trees curved with the strong wind that exploded in the area.

Suddenly a scythe fell in front of Nitro, the tip of the blade was cracked a little bit. The beast exploded and bloods sprayed everywhere. It was a win for the peoples, it was a success, it was a victory. They never seen Raf and they thought he's gone. Different researchers and investigators arrived. The beast wasn't completely exploded. Veir and Nitro met each other.

"Where's Raf?" asked Veir.

"I don't know. And this scythe I'm holding is from him, it's cracked a little bit though."

"You should give him that back, he might search it.

"Sure. I'll do that."

It was night, 10:29PM, Raf woke up somewhere. He was still in the forest though, his shirts and pants was really messy, his face and hair looks a little bit dirty.

"Where am I?"

He stood up, his hands were bleeding. He was gone, but he remembered what happened.

"I guess I should start running."

He quickly ran, I can't tell you what happens after that so that means: The End

J.Christians story: http://sta.sh/01h77o03hhi5


NUMBER LIST (what your score is):
Lethal2's score: coming on 5/17/2013


Updates: last story is in, GamerXD's story will not be posted on the front page since its all boggled up in different parts. But we will judge it.

Luzoto
03-17-2013, 03:17 PM
Okay, do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to put together a writing collaboration?! You can't just throw the task onto the contestants, you'll have to organize the writers yourself. Also, how would you go about doing that? The previous boss battle failed because there was absolutely no planning involved. This one has a general idea of how it's going to work, but you still need to plan it out better.
And yes, the monster needs a personality.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 03:25 PM
Alright I shall continue working on it, and maybe get Triss's help on how to make events like this, his tournament idea was a perfect success with no flaws.

This could be an excellent monthly idea, having a collaboration of the wRHG's working together to fight against a massive creature or super powered man to save stickpage city.

This could be a really fun activity to do.

Rochedan
03-17-2013, 03:54 PM
Pfew, looks like fun, but as an contestant it requires you to study all of the other wRHG´s personalities and skills.
Maybe you could make a small, not very detailed summary of that also.
I won´t be joining this, final exams coming up for me, fml.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 04:12 PM
Hmm maybe, I can change up the idea, so each contestant can pick 3 wRHG's to assist theirs on fighting the boss creature, and the one with the best story wins. Judges are a maximum of three, time to change up the idea a bit.

Crank
03-17-2013, 08:41 PM
...I am vaguely curious if August could take this thing down on his own...

There's a pretty solid chance I'm going to take that as a personal challenge.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 08:52 PM
So are you saying you want to join on this, if so then your wRHG is needed to be shown on your post, as well as 3 other wRHG's of your choice.

Luzoto
03-17-2013, 08:59 PM
And these revisions have entirely changed my perspective on this project. This is a really interesting idea now =P
It's unlikely that I'll be able to participate though. Good luck with this project.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 09:06 PM
Indeed, and if its such a success I shall make yet another boss fight, this could be a really good activity that people with free time can join.

Crank
03-17-2013, 09:20 PM
So are you saying you want to join on this, if so then your wRHG is needed to be shown on your post, as well as 3 other wRHG's of your choice.

Well, I wouldn't be in this officially considering I won't be using a team. I just want to see if my guy, August Pine (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?43850-The-Defiler-August-Pine), could take this thing down on his own. I'm just doing it for fun.
(Aug's in the spoiler by the way)

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 09:22 PM
Very well then you will be added to the list.

Luzoto
03-17-2013, 09:33 PM
Okay if I choose 3 wRHG's, should we write a story battling the major boss in separate story? For example I chose Lexel, Kalena and Cowboy Bodacious, should all of us write a separate story like each of us are going to write this story against the boss? Sorry but I suck at English and following the instructions ;_;


THIS IS A SINGLE PERSON PROJECT, you cannot ask for help from other people in the competition or outside the competition, those found asking for help will be disqualified.
yeah.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 09:46 PM
You choose three wRHG's to assist your character in battle, THE OWNERS of those wRHG's cannot help you, JUST THEIR CHARACTERS.

bigger example: my character Zeus can't fight this boss alone, so I pick lexel, jibber jabber, and serena to assist my character in battle, I then make the story about how these 4 met and decided to defeat this boss.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:02 PM
No, as a matter of fact you just asked a question that was already answered, so no. Now I shall add you to the list of people joining in the boss fight and begin the search for judges.

But one question, who do you want to assist your character in the boss fight (you can choose non if you want)

SmittiWerm
03-17-2013, 10:04 PM
This sounds pretty legit. I'm definitely down to tango with the main baddie.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:11 PM
Alright lethal2, you will be added, and Smitti.

Who's characters will be joining yours in the fight against this boss or is your character all alone (I wonder how that would work if you character fought Draknar alone).

SmittiWerm
03-17-2013, 10:18 PM
I think I want to fight the dude with Ned and Zeus

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:20 PM
OOOOO my character, and Ned, this seems like an odd team.

A mental ward patient, a little maid (or maiden idk which she is), and a medieval king.

Crank
03-17-2013, 10:30 PM
Confusion was the most common thing August had been experiencing over the past few weeks, but as his brow dropped at the feeling from a sight off in the distance, he had never felt it as strong. Sitting on a calm river bank with an entire stack of rocks to skip, his mind couldn’t even begin to comprehend how the figure in the clearing across it looked like he was only about ten feet from him, when it was easily over a football field away. Granted, his mindset was more in the terms of ‘close’ and ‘far far’, but the question in his head would’ve been the same either way.

Why no small?

The man should’ve barely looked the size of his fingernail, just like the people surrounding it. It was almost as if he could see through them, but his mind must’ve just been playing tricks on him. There was just too much to process out here. Could it’ve just had enough? That must’ve been it. He was just seeing things.

Accepting it fully, August chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the crazy thought as he flicked a stone into the river, watching it bounce across the surface. Considering he could only count on his fingers, he lost track before physics finally had enough with it, drawing it under the peaceful current and vanishing from sight. Already completely distracted, he smiled merrily as he grabbed the next rock, planning on spending the next few hours trying to get one all the way across the water, as was his ritual.

After two however, a spontaneous swelling pride suddenly struck him, sending him head over heels with joy the instant he spotted one of his stones strike sand of the far side. Utterly overwhelmed, he jolted to his feel so quickly that he almost fell back on his butt from a lack of balance, which was only crippled by how his legs had fallen asleep a half hour ago. Even still though, he didn’t care if every muscle in his body was passed out, he had celebrating to do!

Bolting off to the nearest tree, August leapt into the sky towards the bark, shoving off it easily, gaining another vertical step before jerking up his open palms. Snapping them shut on a branch about fifteen feet off the ground, he shoved off the trunk and twisted his body to that of a young child on swing, kicking his feet to add to his momentum. The branch bark scraped against his palms as his entire body twirled around it, but the moment after his hands and torso were parallel with the ground, he released it, tucking his body into a flip as he flew over it. Upon his descent however, he uncurled his body, catching the branch with his feet, locking them together at the start of his shin and heel just before his falling weight violently yanked against it. Withstanding it though, August beat his chest in triumph as he swayed suspended upside down, letting out one of the first sounds he learned to mimic as a child. Victory echoed through the woodlands as he howled at the top of his lungs, absolutely brimming with an unfathomable sense of joy.

So far, I know how it finds my guy, and how he manages to kill it.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:38 PM
Sweet I hope your single man can take the might of Draknar.

(I'm not wanting him to win, I am a judge, but his character is all alone, and it ponders me on how he could possibly defeat Draknar alone)

Anywho
03-17-2013, 10:43 PM
@kingkickass

Then it should be a interesting story.
I'm sure crackuba can take him.

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:46 PM
Are you joining?

Hitsuit
03-17-2013, 10:48 PM
Hey 1 question,is it a first come first serve?

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:53 PM
Um, all characters can be used even if somebody else is using them, so lets say my character Zeus is being used, I can still play that character.

HOWEVER, your character is always the main character.

Did that answer your question?

Anywho
03-17-2013, 10:54 PM
Are you joining?

I donno, probably not.
Good luck to everyone who joins though.

Ninjas

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:55 PM
Well that's too bad your a good writer, well I hope you succeed in whatever your doing.

Hitsuit
03-17-2013, 10:55 PM
Um, all characters can be used even if somebody else is using them, so lets say my character Zeus is being used, I can still play that character.

HOWEVER, your character is always the main character.

Did that answer your question?

Yeah it answer thank you :D

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 10:56 PM
Are you joining, and if so will you have a team, and if so who are they.

To J.Christian's response right below this post, Well then YOU have access to every single wRHG in existence, pick who you want but your character must be your main.

PLEASE reply to this by editting your post so we can cut back on spam

Hitsuit
03-17-2013, 11:00 PM
Im thinking lol XD
[Edit]
Heres mine:
Mile (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?53978-Lan-The-Smiling-CopyCat),Raf (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?53125-wRHG-Rafael-quot-Raf-quot-Leonardo-Last-wRHG),Karugame (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?51705-Karugame-%28The-Ice-Bender%29),and Jones Mclore (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?48414-wRHG-Jones-McLore)

Thats ok :D

kingkickass2013
03-17-2013, 11:07 PM
Two months from now is the deadline for when your stories must be completed

Twenty days from now is when the acceptance of people joining stops.


Down below, its okay, your curious on how this is played, maybe you should of read the front page a little better but still your curious

You will be added.

Hitsuit
03-17-2013, 11:08 PM
Lol ok answered again
*Removed*

_Ai_
03-18-2013, 01:27 AM
My team is the elemental-ish team. Consist of myself, Arvine, Maple and Junmax. Link in sig.

kingkickass2013
03-18-2013, 05:12 AM
We have quite a handful of talented writers in the competition, now all we need are a couple talented judges, anybody want to join me in judging the stories?


EDIT: I am assuming since the people who are joining have the free time to do so, and are not bogged down by fights.

Rochedan
03-18-2013, 10:55 AM
Is it necessary for an wRHG to participate with an own story, to be able to get chosen to fight among others.
For example: I'm not going to participate in this, but is it possible for participants to invite Luther?

kingkickass2013
03-18-2013, 02:05 PM
Aww I miss Tenderwilly, that username was hilarious.

By inviting Luther do you mean invite them to their group.

My example of what I believe you are asking: Rochedan (Tenderwilly) doesn't want to join in on the boss fight, but somebody wants to use his character in their team for the fight, the person who wants to use Luther can use him.

So the answer is yes if that is what you are asking.

pluto_kun
03-20-2013, 09:05 AM
Checking in while I have wi-fi... This is an interesting idea!
I don't think I will be able to actively participate, but I will be stalking this post from time to time..
Also, Pluto is always open for assistance :D

Rochedan
03-20-2013, 11:57 AM
Pluto is always open for assistance :D

Sorry I'm not into human/dragon girls, so I won't get into her.


So the answer is yes if that is what you are asking.

Yes, this is exactly what i meant.

kingkickass2013
03-20-2013, 04:35 PM
I'm still wondering on how those weird teams formed are gonna actually get along, and at the same defeat Dracknar.

Crank
03-20-2013, 05:12 PM
Heh, I'm guessing there'll be a lot of 'we'll all die if we fight alone', or that whole 'the enemy of my enemy' thing.
I'm wondering more about how they'll all get in each other's way!

kingkickass2013
03-20-2013, 05:20 PM
Well I'll tell you this, Zeus's alcohol problem is definitely gonna get in the way, You will see why and how when the Aiman and Zeus's battle pops up.

ALSO, Acutelatios joined me in the judging, so now we need one more person to join the judges.

Chamel
03-20-2013, 09:04 PM
I can be a judge if needed.

kingkickass2013
03-20-2013, 10:30 PM
YOUR HIRED.

Rochedan
03-21-2013, 06:06 AM
YOUR HIRED.

You're*

How embarrassing, also I could be a judge if you want.

_Ai_
03-21-2013, 06:30 AM
Is there a word limit? I hope not. Because mine will be a super long one.

Rochedan
03-21-2013, 06:53 AM
Is there a word limit? I hope not. Because mine will be a super long one.


the goal is to write a 3000 word story on fighting this boss.

_Ai_
03-21-2013, 07:20 AM
.

Oh...And more than 3000? Or less?

Triss
03-21-2013, 09:18 AM
Hm, I don;t have much time, so probably I will be a judge.
How about that?

Luzoto
03-21-2013, 08:37 PM
I just copy pasted my story in the website called letter count, it was 7389 (as of now), is it alright if our letters are more than 3000?

It's three thousand words, and I'm hoping the three thousand thing is a minimum. Also, this website's (http://www.wordcounter.net/) a lot better for counting stuff in your writing.

Chamel
03-21-2013, 08:47 PM
I think it would be rather ridiculous if you couldn't go over 3,000 words. A short story with little description can reach up to approximately 1-2k words, a descriptive story should have quite a bit more.

kingkickass2013
03-21-2013, 09:46 PM
Listen the reason its 3,000 words is because you need a large story on how your team met up and the story of how the boss came to be (whether it be a curse in an ancient Egyptian pyramid, or a master wizard conjured this thing, it needs a story on how it was created and you can come up with anything on how this thing was created)

And the team allows for a bigger story on who's doing what.

AND the massive boss with many abilities and hard to reach weaknesses provide an EVEN LONGER fight.

3,000 is the minimum, but if you have something like 2,943 we would settle for it.

Crank
03-21-2013, 10:47 PM
But if everyone has their own version of the origin story, which one will be considered canon?
I don't see it getting brought up all too much for it to be too big of an issue.
That said, I assume the winner's would.

kingkickass2013
03-22-2013, 12:33 AM
You got it perfect Lethal, that's exactly what you need to do, you need to have somebody or something tell your character the story behind this creature and still have the basic story needs (introduction, middle part, end part, ETC ETC ETC)

kingkickass2013
03-23-2013, 02:47 PM
Alright their are 6 categories of judging, each one has a rating 1/100. 1 being the worst, 100 being the best.
out of all 6 categories of judging, whoever has the most points wins, a tie will take place if two people have the same exact number of points in the lead (example, This person got a 45 on settings, a 30 on length, a 10 on plot, a 100 on characters, a 15 on grammar, and a 1 on the monster. So adding all of these up, we get 201 points for that person, that's his score and that's his number on the list)

SETTINGS: the area around your character and characters.
LENGTH: how long is your story?
PLOT: why is your character suddenly going on this quest to defeat a monster, and whats happening here.
CHARACTERS: did you get your characters right? are they using the right abilities? (example, Zeus does not have any water powers, so he shouldn't be using water powers)
GRAMMAR: now if you have like one or two grammar errors then don't fret, now if you have grammar errors all over your story then your gonna have some trouble, this also includes words used in the wrong context.
THE BOSS MONSTER: how good did you make it and fight it, and how good did you get its powers.


Any questions?

Rochedan
03-23-2013, 03:22 PM
LENGTH: how long is your story?

I don´t think people should be judged on how long their story is. Their points will come down due to a bad plot if they have a short story. So it would be double the loss.
just sayin

pluto_kun
03-23-2013, 03:41 PM
Same opinion as Rochedan. There should be a minimum length set for writing, but it cannot be used as means of scoring.
Of course, one's ability to describe and extend the story can be considered as a quality of a good writer,
but shorter writing does not always mean it is a bad writing :3

kingkickass2013
03-23-2013, 05:38 PM
Hmm, I do believe you are right, THE PEOPLE HAST SPOKEN, the length of the story will not be taken into points, I must speak with the other judges on what they think on the judging system and how it runs.

Crank
04-03-2013, 04:36 PM
Growling, the bigger of the two remaining demons shoved the smaller after him, stumbling at first, but swiftly regaining its footing as it continued to charge on all fours like a raging bull. Readying his spear, August held his ground at first, but without a speck of fear in his eye, started backing up, into the branches. A split second before he was lost inside, the monster dove, extending its wretched claws at him and opening its fang filled mouth as it roared. Breaking through the branches, it barely had time to establish what was happening.

On the pine needle covered earth, a three foot wide circular shield leaned against the trunk with an odd silver liquid rippling inside it, completely unaffected by gravity. Without a care in the world, August leapt at it, arms first passing through it like it was just the surface of the great ocean. Too late to change direction, the demon had no choice but to follow the man inside, eyes widening with a feeling rarely felt by the species. Fear.

Talons first, it felt a cool sensation as it passed through the liquid, but as it’s head crossed over, the entire scene before it changed. Once low on the earth, it suddenly became high in the air, breaking through a mass of twigs behind August as they plummeted towards the earth. Unlike the human however, the demon wasn’t prepared for a freefall.

With one final wave, August bid the monster goodbye just before tugging a string on his metal backpack, causing a pair of white wings to burst out. Utter hatred burst from the beast as August effortlessly veered his path around the trunk, only looking back when he heard the bones of the demon shatter on the earth.

The sound also caught the attention of the mind blown other. Taking a few steps around the tree, it stared in confusion at the mangled mass of an ally, blood leaking out of its mouth. Like a bird of prey however, August soured overhead, pulling his stick spear back as he nose-dived at his foe. Hearing him cut through the wind, the demon could merely whirl around before the spear was plunged through his agape mouth with a sickening snap as it pierced through its spine.

Thudding on the ground, August gently landed beside the deceased beast, turning as he looked over the work that he already accomplished. Their bodies already decomposing, their shrinking shadows merely slashed at the sky as they slowly dissolved. Pride glimmered in his eyes at his victory, but all too soon it ended.

Where was the fi-

Dark claws suddenly seized this throat from behind, digging into his skin and drawing blood as they lifted him into the air, slamming him into the rough bark of the tree.

How's everyone else coming along?

kingkickass2013
04-04-2013, 02:20 AM
Everybody, there is only three more days till you can no longer join, so if you plan on joining this event then do so now for it will be your last chance.

EDIT: TWO MORE DAYS LEFT, IF YOU WANT TO JOIN NOWS YOUR LAST CHANCE!

kingkickass2013
04-04-2013, 09:23 PM
You do realize I am talking about the join date, not the story. we still have about 1.5 months from now. HOWEVER if everybody finishes early then we will cut the time down.

NecroTik
04-05-2013, 07:26 PM
I might join :D seems fun. Are judges needed? I can fill that position if not I guess I'll be a one man team least someone wants me.

kingkickass2013
04-05-2013, 07:30 PM
All judges are filled, 3 judges are maximum they include MEEEE. (say the word meeee in sorta a musical voice, you know how the emperor from planet sheen says me, kinda imagine it that way)

ChamelNeon.

And Acutelatios.

You can still join, but the day of registration ends on 4/7/2013

All you need to do is take people from the list of RHG's at the front page. you can have a Quad team, a Trio team, a Duo team, or just your own character against the massive boss.

Pick wisely and remember the rules. Also state who your character is teaming up with or if you character has no team chosen to help

NecroTik
04-05-2013, 07:32 PM
Hm hm I see. Thank you King. I'll have my decision as to what I want to do tomorrow... Unfortunately I do know how the king form planet sheen says me.

kingkickass2013
04-07-2013, 06:12 AM
Its king, not kinh, anyway pick your team or if you want no team (you can have a maximum of three RHG's assisting your character against this boss)

Necro you got until 4/7/2013 till you can no longer register.


TODAY IS 4/7/2013 AFTER THIS DAY YOU CAN NO LONGER JOIN, JOIN NOW IF YOU WISH BUT BE WEARY YOU MUST FOLLOW THE RULES AND MUST HAVE THE TIME TO DO SO!

NecroTik
04-07-2013, 06:29 AM
I can't join D: school is about to get hectic so I won't have the time to write out this story. Maybe next time.

kingkickass2013
04-07-2013, 06:30 AM
Alright see you in the next boss fight then.

I already have the fourth one planned, the third one needs work but the second and fourth one are completely planned out (ALL I need is pictures and maybe theme songs)

But realize this necro, if this is school hectic thing is going to last until 5/17/2013 then yeah its a good idea to not join, but if its only gonna last a couple days maybe a week then yeah you may have time.

_Ai_
04-07-2013, 09:00 AM
Cant wait for this.

kingkickass2013
04-07-2013, 09:41 AM
Wait until you see the next one, its gonna be quite a sight.

_Ai_
04-07-2013, 09:43 AM
I will certainly look forward towards it.

kingkickass2013
04-09-2013, 04:58 AM
TIME IS ALMOST UP, IF YOU WANT TO JOIN NOW IS YOUR CHANCE, FINAL SAYING ON THE PARTICIPATION OF THIS EVENT!

Hey guys if this goes well, should I take this to the RHG, I'm sure animators would love to animate their characters beating a boss character senseless, what do you think?

Should I leave the boss fight here and let them do their own thing OR should I take this idea and see what they think. This could be a good idea it could be a bad idea IDK.


Times up

_Ai_
04-09-2013, 09:36 AM
I think I can easily switch my fight with Zeus with this boss fight; it's too long! Friggin 2500 words.

kingkickass2013
04-09-2013, 02:51 PM
Are you saying the fight with Zeus is too long or the boss fight. You can actually do both since the end date where you need your story for the boss fight is in 5/17/2013.

_Ai_
04-10-2013, 01:28 AM
When does he get unbanned? My battle with him...Should be posted tomorrow.

kingkickass2013
04-11-2013, 06:17 AM
Your CnC will appear on this date: 5/17/2013, WHAT LETHAL2 DID IS GREAT, all other contestants do what lethal2 did and paste your story here when its finished, (What Lethal2 did to appear his story to us, not on how he wrote it, that will come up when the time shows)

Hitsuit
04-11-2013, 06:24 AM
Lol the total word i type is 1886+ only lol XD compare to my friend lethal XD(4749+)

kingkickass2013
04-11-2013, 06:28 AM
I decided its not a good idea to keep a minimum word count, some people may have excellent stories but not to many words.

kingkickass2013
04-12-2013, 06:39 AM
No matter, they may get a low score, word count no longer matters (just as long as it gets the point across)

My character went and kicked Draknar's ass, Dracknar summoned a giant sock monkey that attacked and killed my character. FIN
The story above is going to get a very low score due to it just not making any sense.

Xate
04-12-2013, 10:10 AM
Um...May I join? Though the deadline for signing up has passed, but may I join?
Character: Lucario, Frost, Raf, Aiman

kingkickass2013
04-12-2013, 10:21 AM
Hmm, I must consult the other judges, if they say yes and outvote me then you can join.

kingkickass2013
04-13-2013, 07:49 AM
Your score is 5 (that's the lowest anybody can get)

(joking)

Xate
04-14-2013, 04:03 AM
Sooo...Is that a yes?

kingkickass2013
04-14-2013, 09:28 PM
It's a yes. (I wasn't able to consult them, due to banishment)

I expect a good story from you due to you entering late.

Xate
04-17-2013, 12:31 AM
Test week...Still gonna have it by the due date.
PS: Can I have...like a battle after the boss?(A boss made by me).

_Ai_
04-17-2013, 02:04 AM
So...1 month left? Okay then. I'm not gonna rush this time, and going to throughly enjoy writing my story. But I dunno if I could do that, I'm quite a procrastinator.

kingkickass2013
04-27-2013, 03:14 AM
PS: Can I have...like a battle after the boss?(A boss made by me).

If you are asking to challenge me then that is a negatory, if you are asking to bring your own boss idea then maybe you should tell me what it is in PM's, if you are asking to make a boss so that I alone fight it then you are downright insane (*My current thoughts* I aint goin near no boss, HELL NO you can't even pay me to go near dat son o bitch)

Xate
04-27-2013, 08:59 AM
If you are asking to challenge me then that is a negatory, if you are asking to bring your own boss idea then maybe you should tell me what it is in PM's, if you are asking to make a boss so that I alone fight it then you are downright insane (*My current thoughts* I aint goin near no boss, HELL NO you can't even pay me to go near dat son o bitch)
It's the former. But I can't PM you because your inbox's full. Clean them please. Not posting them here because of spoiler.

kingkickass2013
05-01-2013, 09:53 PM
YOU ALL HAVE 16 DAYS LEFT TILL YOU HAVE TO TURN IN YOUR STORIES, PREPARE TO TURN IN YOUR STORIES AND BE JUDGED UPON!

kingkickass2013
05-01-2013, 10:09 PM
I dare say I hope you don't end up the ONLY ONE who is finished, crankuba has to deal with life problems and he was practically finished (from what I think) but I hope he manages, same with Aiman since he said he was going into hibernation after my battle with him. GOOD THING Zeus passed on his history to Aiman.

ALSO I haven't heard from Smitti in a while.

P.S YOUR CHARACTER WAS USED 3 TIMES IN PEOPLE'S STORIES, I think a lot of people love your character.

_Ai_
05-02-2013, 01:27 AM
Was waiting for the deadline to be announced. I usually dont do shit, until I'm motivated. Now I am.

kingkickass2013
05-02-2013, 03:33 AM
WELL GUESS WHAT GUYS, the RHG boss fight wasn't as successful as this one, hopefully I can still get the RHG boss fight off its feet but this one was a guaranteed win. Your all going to love the next one, for it rather makes a lot of sense.

kingkickass2013
05-02-2013, 03:40 AM
Would thou like to take the challenge, the challenge is to guess who or what it is (hint its actually a pair of a "deceased brother" and an unstoppable demon that is now picked as overpowered and no longer in use guess what their names are)

kingkickass2013
05-02-2013, 03:48 AM
Satan is not the character, I would never use gods or even anti gods for that matter. GODS ARE OUT OF THE CASE, they are too powerful for a mere mortal to kill. And even if your character isn't a mortal still gods can't die.

tonan15
05-02-2013, 09:18 PM
true, gods can't die the only ways they are "defeated" are usually 1 trapped in some kind of magical prison that can hold them 2 banished into some kind of abyss or 3 they are locked in combat with another god and all these three have a high death toll on mortals and them they could always escape one way or another

pluto_kun
05-02-2013, 09:34 PM
true, gods can't die the only ways they are "defeated" are usually 1 trapped in some kind of magical prison that can hold them 2 banished into some kind of abyss or 3 they are locked in combat with another god and all these three have a high death toll on mortals and them they could always escape one way or another

...or, in my theory, the "gods" exist because people need an immortal, unchanging figure to cling their hopes and beliefs onto- meaning, if they are no longer yearned for, they fade away; not really dying, but disappearing and losing their form. Just an opinion >.> *trotts away*

tonan15
05-02-2013, 09:40 PM
well it ain't just you i remember some where that said "if god did not exist there would be a need to create one" i think it was a game or tv show

pluto_kun
05-02-2013, 10:20 PM
Gosh, you guys kept talking about "gods". xD.

I would have laughed if you started your sentence with OMG lol XD
Well.. I just happened to pass by this thread and got perked up with the topic..?

Let's get back on to the actual topic then, shall we? I am quite excited to see how this turns out :3

kingkickass2013
05-03-2013, 05:15 PM
Golly, maybe we should get back on topic on the boss fight.

Chamel
05-03-2013, 05:31 PM
I just realized something... King, on the front page when you were giving example of the judging, the example guy you used got 171... OUT OF 500!!
He must really suck :o Haha, aaaanyway, currently finishing up a pain-in-the-ass essay on the Roman Coliseum, afterwards I'll grade Lethal's story.

kingkickass2013
05-03-2013, 05:42 PM
Um, There is three judges, so technically the highest score you can get is 1500 points (all judges points added up), but that guy only got graded from one person so the maximum is 500 for him, times the 171 by 3 and you get your answer (513 out of 1500)

Chamel
05-03-2013, 05:46 PM
Still sucks really bad
(~o3o)~

kingkickass2013
05-03-2013, 05:47 PM
Indeed his story was about Zeus fighting and defeating the monster but then the monster quickly summoned a sock monkey and it totally murdered Zeus. (True story)

Chamel
05-03-2013, 05:49 PM
Mind blown right here :o

Haha, oh, mind if I discuss the voting style with you and Acute? I feel like there should be a few changes

kingkickass2013
05-03-2013, 05:54 PM
Very well then, may the judging system meeting start IN PM'S.

kingkickass2013
05-04-2013, 03:23 AM
Guys should I open up the second boss fight page early (without showing the contents or the boss of course) but have it open with just a small hint on what or who it might be? Also so I can have it ready to go when the next boss fight does happen?

Or should I leave it a mystery?

acutelatios
05-04-2013, 03:27 AM
I believe that you should hold on your horses for a moment and not post the next Boss Fight until this one's finished and done with. There's no hurry in posting it now, just wait until the first one's finished. That's what I think~
o w o

kingkickass2013
05-04-2013, 03:33 AM
Ah yes you, you and chamelneon wanted me to go to skype, well guess what. My computer hates me and doesn't want me to do anything with that site. So PM me your idea.

_Ai_
05-04-2013, 09:58 AM
I'll finish this up today.

kingkickass2013
05-05-2013, 01:06 AM
So far I do believe their are going to be two people that may not have a story, crank due to life problems and smitti due to having his CPU blow up into tiny pieces.

Triss
05-06-2013, 07:04 AM
After a while, I feel excited seeing this event goes on.
Looking forward on May 17th.

_Ai_
05-06-2013, 07:07 AM
Finished my prologue. Proceeding very slowly.

Triss
05-06-2013, 07:10 AM
Finished my prologue. Proceeding very slowly.

I'll finish this up today.
You failed me, my son......

_Ai_
05-06-2013, 07:17 AM
You failed me, my son......

Go away, you.

Triss
05-06-2013, 07:19 AM
Go away, you.
I'd rather die.(Kills oneself)
Anyway, Crank and Smitti have gone.
Meaning 2 less story to read.

Chamel
05-06-2013, 10:41 AM
FOR ALL PARTICIPANTS IN THE BOSS FIGHT:

Please note that I have been in a rather shitty mood lately. I apologize for future reference. Even though school is bombarding me with finals, I will stick with my pre-planned obligations to help judge and grade the applicants entries. Please be aware that anger makes me very judgmental and that I will grade the entries to my highest extent, and I apologize if I say a few remarks that I probably will not mean. Grading will be harsh. I will try and fit CnC into PM's and help you individually for the next competition (hopefully with more contestants).

~Again I apologize for any rude remarks that may be said in the next week or two.

kingkickass2013
05-12-2013, 11:21 PM
PEOPLE THERE IS ONLY FOUR DAYS LEFT UNTIL YOU NEED YOUR STORIES, GET THEM IN OR BE DISQUALIFIED!

kingkickass2013
05-15-2013, 05:23 AM
THEIR ARE ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT UNTIL ALL STORIES ARE ABSOLUTELY NEEDED, TURN IN YOUR STORIES OR DISQUALIFICATION!

please do so now so I don't have to go kick your ass later.

Hitsuit
05-15-2013, 09:51 PM
SHIT. QUICKLY GUYS BEFORE KKA DISQUALIFY YOUR ASS OFF.

~O~

wait!
when is the deadline bro?,tommorow or today?

Hitsuit
05-15-2013, 09:59 PM
2 days left so quickly make your part!

well gonna finish it right now,I'm quite busy a bit but this time I'll finish this :D

Hitsuit
05-15-2013, 10:04 PM
Good, I'm happy there's someone going to finish his story today. C:

lol for Justice!
XD btw Aiman changes his name,is he?

Xate
05-16-2013, 01:00 AM
Um...My prologue?
The Prologue
The blistering heat and occasional sandstorms are usually the reason why people keep out of the city of Fluidanisms. It's not exactly a city, per se, it's more of an old desert town. Comprised of small wooden houses, this isn't the best place to live in. But despite all these facts, many people come here to visit, most of whom desire fame, fortune, glory, power... Why is that? Because near the Fluidanisms city, there are ancient ruins, yet to be explored. Tales of riches and power inside the ruins has driven many people inside, but none returns. More and more people came and fallen prey to the mysterious traps/forces/monsters...inside the ruins. And now, our story begins with a young explorer.

Xate
05-16-2013, 01:30 AM
How's mine?
PS: Good choice. Your orginal one SUCKS! No offense, but grammar-wise it's...worse than Titanic. And other things that I don't wanna say. Good luck with the remake. ONLY A FEW DAYS LEFT!

Xate
05-16-2013, 01:45 AM
..Fine. But..."The country's clear"=WTF??? Also, "Whether play.."=Something's off..."like what I said before"=Is there something not necessary?
Well, that's what I have to add, but I'm not native English (AKA: IMMA ASIAN BOOYAH!).Yeah, that.

kingkickass2013
05-16-2013, 01:59 PM
God, I want to remake my work because I'm much improved now. T.T

EDIT: I'm redoing my work if it's okay, KKA. Don't get angry, at least I'm improving my skills xD.

EDIT: Prologue done.

Prologue [First Person Style]
The bright sun had been scattering lately here in New York, which I've been noticing for about 4 days. The thing is it's more fun to spend your time when it's sunny. The country's clear and you can do almost anything you want outside, whether play with friends; workout somewhere and much more that you're really eager to do. I've been also noticing that rain barely shows up here in New York which is really cool because, like what I said before, you can do whatever you want. The thing is some peoples hates sunny days, why? Sunburn. I guess they should just stay at their lovely haven and watch TV with their friends.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THANK YOU (I'm bursting with fury and happiness, a very odd mix that's taking my sanity), your final score in my side was extremely low, the only things that brought you up was your plot, character, a small hint of boss character, the other two you didn't get O so well. You final score for me was at least a 250 which is quite low if you think about it. And who knows the other scores that may of came up, finish your replacement quickly or else you may end up stuck with your previous fight.

(It's not against the rules to take back stories and redo them AS LONG as its not in the deadline or past it)



well gonna finish it right now,I'm quite busy a bit but this time I'll finish this :D

YOU BEST GET YOUR ASS MOVIN BOY!



Kingkickass, I suggest you give a timezone

Very well then next boss fight their will be a time zone.



The date is currently 5/16/2013, the deadline is 5/17/2013. Y'all got one more day left.

Chamel
05-16-2013, 03:33 PM
Dammit Lethal... Now I have to grade it again...

KING: M.y score will be given on a basis of five elements, each one graded on a scale of 1-10. We talked about this through PM

kingkickass2013
05-16-2013, 07:43 PM
Yes, I will make the changes now to the scoring system, so instead of 1-100 it will now be 1-10 on the five grading elements (plot, monster, setting, grammar, and characters)

kingkickass2013
05-16-2013, 08:36 PM
Yes Hewitt I know what you meant by time zones, they are current periods in time for around the world. (Example, in usa its 12:00 AM and on the opposite side of the world its 12:00 PM, this is probably inaccurate but I need to study on time zones)

I need to figure out a proper time zone for this but until then its just a single day away.

Hitsuit
05-16-2013, 11:23 PM
nevermind guys just ignore my 2nd part. Jst score my main part. I'm canceling my 2nd part for now

I'm at my phone so I'm rushing :0

lol its too hard to type at phone,but auto correction is quite good :3

kingkickass2013
05-17-2013, 12:13 AM
I don't have a phone since I don't talk very much to people so I wouldn't know what that is like, anyway J.Christian you also joined the RHG boss fight, so tell me hows the animation coming since I haven't heard from you in a while on this matter.

Anyway Lethal2 are you sure you don't want to restart your story?

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 12:13 AM
I don't have a phone since I don't talk very much to people so I wouldn't know what that is like, anyway J.Christian you also joined the RHG boss fight, so tell me hows the animation coming since I haven't heard from you in a while on this matter.

Anyway Lethal2 are you sure you don't want to restart your story?

oh btw is the rhg boss fight has an same deadline like wRHG?

kingkickass2013
05-17-2013, 12:26 AM
Nope, the deadline over there is 6/7/2013 but I don't want contestants to end up not posting they're animations (considering the fact that theirs only 4 contestants)

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 12:30 AM
Nope, the deadline over there is 6/7/2013 but I don't want contestants to end up not posting they're animations (considering the fact that theirs only 4 contestants)

thank god
[EDIT]
Im changing my wRHG after this boss fight so........goodbye Mile also im adding his death scene here

Xate
05-17-2013, 03:06 AM
Crud. I'M DOOMED! Damnit! Hey. My timezone is +7:00 so...Extend the deadline a little bit please?
PS: I still go to school so please?

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 12:07 PM
Crud. I'M DOOMED! Damnit! Hey. My timezone is +7:00 so...Extend the deadline a little bit please?
PS: I still go to school so please?

lol bad news at you XD

Xate
05-17-2013, 12:19 PM
DAMNIT! 12:15 AM (18th) AND still got ONE part left! PLEASE! Extend a few hours? (I'll have it before 3:00 PM (GMT+7:00)
PS: My status: Done 6/7. 4819 words 28282 characters. (Word counter: Best at making a point)

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 12:26 PM
DAMNIT! 12:15 AM AND still got ONE part left! PLEASE! Extend a few hours? (I'll have it before 3:00 PM (GMT+7:00)
PS: My status: Done 6/7. 4819 words 28282 characters. (Word counter: Best at making a point)

i mean at mine because its 1:36 at mine F***.
[EDIT]
Ok you won :(

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 08:20 PM
~Dafuq~, due date is yesterday? >:O (Don't worry KKA, I'll submit it today.)

i submitted btw

Chamel
05-17-2013, 09:02 PM
NOTICE:
I will judging stories starting tomorrow. Excuse any misspellings and typos, broken thumbs don't help typing...

(I'm excited to read these...)

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 09:05 PM
NOTICE:
I will judging stories starting tomorrow. Excuse any misspellings and typos, broken thumbs don't help typing...

(I'm excited to read these...)
sorry im failing you,my story are shiz lol

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 09:47 PM
:O My story is much more "shizer" than you, J.Christian xD.

no its mine :3 lol
btw toss coin? jk

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 09:54 PM
lol. I got a screenshot! Check it out at #183's poster. c:

oh lol btw why your windows are like that?

Hitsuit
05-17-2013, 10:00 PM
Because it's better :3

It's Windows XP by the way.

also wow you recognized the bbcodes huh.

Xate
05-18-2013, 06:43 AM
ALMOST, GUYS! ALMOST!!!!!

Xate
05-18-2013, 11:17 AM
Well fu. Looks like from 7 parts it turned into 8.
Status: 7/8=> 4997 words 28788 characters
PS: FINALLY DONE! BEHOLD!

Xate
05-18-2013, 01:57 PM
The Prologue
The blistering heat and occasional sandstorms are usually the reason why people keep out of this city. It's not exactly a city, per se, it's more of an old desert town. Comprising of small wooden houses, this isn't the best place to live in. But despite all these facts, many people come here to visit, most of whom desire fame, fortune, glory, power... Why is that? Because nearby, there are ancient ruins, yet to be explored. Tales of riches and power inside the ruins has driven many people inside, but none returns. More and more people came and fallen prey to the mysterious traps/ forces/ monsters...inside the ruins. And now, our story begins with a young explorer. Welcome... to The Forgotten City of Fluidanisms.

The Bar Rumble
The young explorer stepped inside a bar-The most popular place in the desert (and deserted) city. The place is old, yet well maintained. Anyone can easily see that this bar is the city's pride. He slowly approached the bartender while trying to ignore the mean and tough-looking guys who were probably adventurers. The bartender asked:
"What's yer poison, mate?" The bartender answered. He was an old man, probably in his 60s. His fat belly and... fancy beard could easily make you mistake him for Santa. If not for his extremely menacing look.
"Uh...Nah, just water." The explorer answered.
"Ok then,...whatcha call 'em? Ah. Explorer. That's the word." The bartender answered with a coarse voice.
"Thank you. Um...May I ask-" He barely finished his sentence when another guy came in.
"Hey old man. Tell me the location of the ruins." His voice as intimidating as his big, muscular look, along with a butt-ugly face to boot.
"Blimey, where are ya manner? That's not how ya ask for a favor. Let me tell ya one thing: GET OUT!" The bartender answered firmly.
"Heh. Looks like you got a deathwish. I'll let you regret this decision forever."
And then, there was loud noises. Ranging from punching, kicking sounds to a kickass KIAI sound and girly SCREAMS. And the result: A half-dead brute, an old man who "just" happened to be one of the best martial artist EVER (insert super king of kicking ass music theme here) and a crowd of jaw-dropped people.

"Hmp. That oughta teach ya some manner. Now then what was it ya want me to answer?" The bartender's voice returned to its coarse state. But his intimidating glare was still present.
"Ah...Ah...Yes..."The explorer's feet was as cold as ice. He was infinitively scared of having his head ripped off and eaten by the Santa look-alike (Rather, Satan). But he mustered his courage and spoke.
"Ple-Please, tell me where the ancient ruins are?"His voice sounded as shaky as his feet.
"Hm...HA HA HA HA HA!" His laugh echoed across the bar, surprising everyone.
"Nice one kiddo. Not one has ever asked me politely about the location before. Alrighty then, guess it's time for me to tell you. Here's how you go there: First....Secondly...Thirdly...Lastly...Got that?" He asked, showing a sign of concern.

And then, ALMOST EVERY PERSON THERE ran outside, someone even screams:"Treasure here we go!". In less than 2 minutes, the bar was empty, except for the young explorer and the bartender.
"Why ain't you going, mate? Afraid that I might lie about the location?" The bartender questioned the explorer's actions.
"No, I don't think so. You're a very nice person, so I don't think you'd do that."He answered the question with a straight face.
"What? Hahaha. Spot on, kiddo. But yer wrong in one thing. I'm not that kind. If I were, I wouldn't have shown the other folks the way to the ruins." The bartender's face becamed troubled.
"Um...Well...I, uh...Better leave...Well...See ya." The young explorer answered hesistantly then left.
"Wait, sonny. I forgot to ask yer name. Mine's Santa." answered Satan, I mean Santa.
"Say what?" The explorer gasped.
"What's the prob?"
"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing at all! My name is Nero by the way."
"Heh. Nice name. Well hope that Lady Luck blesses ya on yer journey. Yer gonna need it." Santa said smilingly. But Nero knew deep down the regret Santa held inside him. But he said nothing, only waved back and left.

The Discovery
After crossing the blazing desert for a long time (AKA: 5 minutes), Nero finally reached the ruins. It looked quite like a pyramid. He wondered how ONE pyramid could contain everything related to the Lost City, but ignored and went inside. It was quite a surprisingly pleasant trip, though. Not a single trap hurted him (Lucky bastard). The only thing that annoyed him was the number of skeletons and corpses, along with a super violating smell. It made him barf several times.
"Aw man. There goes my lunch. And it was so delicious too." He complained.

Then Nero continued his journey into the ruins. He tried hard, but failed to ignore the corpses of familiar faces-the explorers inside the bar. He shuddered, trying his best to keep going. The ruins were quite unsatisfying however. Other than the well-set traps, there was NOTHING worth mentioning. Sure, there was statues of strange people and some pictures inscribed on the walls. But none of them held any real meaning. He lost his will and decided to go back until he saw a strange door on the side of a wall. It looked...new, for some reasons. He decided to give it a quick check then skedaddle outta there. The room was much bigger than it seemed, enough to contain an entire army. He had a feeling that it was used to store something, like an archive. He noticed something glowing at the back of the room and decided to check it out. Upon closer inspection, there was light blue runes glowing on the wall at the back of the room. The moment he touched it, the strange light enveloped him and he blacked out.

When Nero opened his eyes, he was welcomed by an unfamiliar landscape. Let's see...Where to start? Blood red sky, rubbles as far as his eyes can see with numbers of half-collapsed buildings standing tall in his field of vision and a person.
"Wait what?"Nero was damn surprised. He saw a person in the midst of silence-dead silence too(Which was damn eerie). He approached closer to have a closer look. But no matter how far he went, that person still seemed so far away. And he was getting bigger too. Every 10 steps he took, a bit larger he was. And his height kept on increasing without limit. When Nero stopped to catch a breath, he noticed that a building had the same height as him.
"AH! Maybe if I count the floors..."So he did count them, as accurately as possible. And the result: 30 floors.

Nero almost fainted because of the result. "It must have been an optical illusion." he thought. He began running towards the giant to make sure. He kept running and running and running...Finally he reached the foot of the giant. When he looked up, the giant was so tall, so very tall that he couldn't see his head.
He was so scared that his stomach began to do a mix of hip-hop and ballet. He tried to stay calm, tried to make sense of all this in order to protect his sanity (AND the remaining food inside him). Then he realized that there were people behind him. Speaking to each other.
"How could I have passed through them without notice?" he wondered.
Nero took his time to examine them. The four of them looked so drastically different from each other. The only thing they had in common was that they were all looking up to the Big Bad Giant. One of them broke the silence:
"Uh...Anybody knew why you guys are here?" The first to speak was a teenage boy dressed in black'n'blue. His calm voice contrasted his fierce look. His get-up and his black googles covering his blazing red eyes made him quite stand out, but not much.
"How the hell should I know? I was enjoying my smoke when I got taken here! How about you, Fr0st?" Said a man with a red jacket. His demeanor along with spiky blond hair gave him a "rogue" feel.
"Well Rafael, I was hunting in the forest. Then, suddenly everything blackened. When I woke up, BAM! I'm here. Yours, Aiman?" Fr0st answered. With his black clothes, it was hard to discern his job if it weren't for his quiver and bows. The hunter was quite fit, but in combination with is lack of facial hair AND hair, it was a bit funny Nero must admit.
"Well...I'm not sure...Let me remember. Prob' sleeping, I guess?" The last person answered. Of all four, he was the most plain-looking-a teenager with black spiky hair, black T-shirt and jeans. And the way he acts-forgetful, a bit hyper yet touched with some carelessness. People might wonder why such a generic character was stucked in such a mess.
"Huh. So you guys know each other. Surprising, really. The name's...Lucario. Now then, we've acquainted with each other, what's next?" The b'n'b (Black 'N' Blue if someone doesn't get it) teenager spoke with a strangely calm voice. It struck Nero as a little strange-No doubt, no fear, no nervousness.
"Great. What have I gotten myself into?" Nero questioned himself. It looked like Lady Luck has fucked up his life.

The Opening of a Grand Battle
"Alright...What's next, guys?" Lucario voiced his concern.
"Why the fuck are you asking me? How sho-GET AWAY!" Rafael's shout shattered the short-lasting peace as a gigantic foot dropped down from above. It was pure Chaos, the ground shattering into pieces, rubbles flying, threatening to kill anyone came into contact. The earth trembled and made the buildings nearby fall down. Everyone immediately scattered, trying to find somewhere safe to hide from the projectiles and collapsing buildings. Except for one: Nero. He didn't expect that and was crushed by the giant's stinky foot like an ant. Strangely, when the giant lifted his leg, Nero was still one piece, not squished like a pie or cut like paper by rocks.
"Oh dear God, please I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I want to...live? I'm alive? I'M ALIVE?? OH YEAH! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I've never felt so ALIVE!" Nero screamed in extreme ecst-happiness. Then he heard the others' voices.
"Oy! You guys still alive?"A voice from a nearby pile of rubble.
"Yeah."
"Still in one piece."
"Same."
"Me too."
And then, they exchanged a series of hand signals among each other then ran away.
"Hey! Wait for me, guys!" Nero cried out, struggling to follow.
After walking a fair amount of distance from the giant, Lucario said while trying to catch his breath:
"Hah...Hah...Looks like...it... isn't chasing us."
"Tired already? You're pretty weak." Fr0st said with a smirk.
"Not everyone has stamina like you, Fr0st." Aiman tried to defend Lucario.
"HEY! GUYS! What about me? HEY!"Nero yelled loudly to get some attention while breathing heavily. He tried to get some attention by grabbing Aiman. But his arm just WENT PAST him.
"WHAT THE! How did? Wait, does this mean? I'm a ghost???"Nero was in denial when Aiman interrupted.
"Ok. Now what? Anyone got a plan against that butt-ugly monster?" His voice had a feeling of insecurity in it.
"Right...Anyone mind telling me their abilities? I think I can come up a good strategy with it."Lucario gave them a suggestion.
"And WHO died and made you our leader?" Which was outright refused by Rafael.
"Well. It's just a suggestion. Right now, we have no plan. So at least you can share information about yourself, right?" Lucario made a rebuttal.
"Haz...Just knock it off, Raf. I'll tell you then. But...your name is a little bit too long right, Lucario? Maybe...Luke! How does that sounds?"
"Deal. It's a nice name anyway. Now then, what're your powers?"
"Ok. Mine is Elemental Mastery, which is....and Rafael is "The Charger" because he...Finally, Fr0st with his freezing bow."
"HEY! Why does my power has the shortest explanation?"
"Because it's easy to understand. Alright. What's next?"
"There! Happy, Luke? Now then, let's just get there and kick his ass!"
"And have OUR asses kick? He's a GIANT! Probably worth 40 stories. How can we beat it when we know absolutely nothing about it?"
"Then DO you know? Thought so. Come on guys, let's ditch this coward and give that giant a whooping!"
"Well...Sorry Luke but I gotta agree with Raf. Better beat him early before he can power-up or anything like that."
"Count me in."
"Great. See ya later, Luke. Have fun with your little plans." And then, Raf, Fr0st and Aiman headed for the giant.
"...Hope I don't have to say "I told you so!". That would be sad." Luke gave a bitter remark. Then he followed them to the battlefield.

The Long-awaited Grand Battle! Let the battle BEGIN!
The four fighters stood in front of the giant, preparing to take it down.
"Huh. So you came along. Afr-" Raf barely finished when Luke cut in.
"Yeah,yeah. I'd rather fight than sit outside and watch the battlefield alone."
"Alright. Let's cut the chit-chat and let's fight!" Aiman's impatience kicked in.
The four of them split up and attacked the enormous beast. Aiman switched into his Ice mode which gave him a light bluish outline and began shooting ice bullets after bullets from his rifle. Each one was .950 caliber and they all pierced through its skin. The beast released an ear-deafening roar and began throwing its spiked knuckles at them. But it was too slow for the four of them. None of its hit managed to connect. But the earth-shattering force knocked the heroes off their feet. Fortunately, none of them was hurt. Fr0st paid him back in full with his dish of rain arrows. Sadly, none of them were able to scratch the giant's rock hard body.

"Aw...Looks like you're not hard enough to be like me." A low blow made by Aiman.
"Can it." And Fr0st took it like a man he was (Wait, is).
"YO, AI! Give me a boost!" Screamed Raf.
"Got it! And DON'T CALL ME AI! I'm not a girl!"
Aiman kept on shooting bullets at the monster's leg until he could switch. His outline turned orange and the rifle dissapeared, replaced by double swords. He created a small current of wind that carried Raf upward.
"Let's see how you like THIS!" Raf let out a powerful battlecry and spawned a scythe. Lightning sparked from his body and traveled into the scythe, making it glow more intensely.
"Take this! 200%!" His scythe ripped open a large wound on the beast's leg. Enraged, it let out another earth-shaking growl.
"HAH! That's all you got, you big piece of dead-meat?" Barely had he finished his sentence when a beam of lightning hit him squarely at the body, which kncked him straight down to the ground. But thanks to his ability and tough body, that didn't do much harm.
"THE FUCK! HE CAN SHOOT LAZERS? IS HE A ROBOT SOMETHING?" Raf screamed out his frustation.
"Let me see...Oh yes he can. And worse, he got 8 of em stones." After looking up with his sharp eyes, Fr0st gave his analysis.
"Ok then. So Aiman, would you please?"
"On it. Aiman's Elevator Express is fully operational."

Aiman then created a powerful whirlwind that carried the four of them through the sky. After flying for minutes, they finally saw its head. It was covered in dark orange skin and laying on the forehead was 7 multi-colored stones with runic writing in a circle, along with one massive stone rune in the center of the 7 smaller runes. Its blue eye and jagged and messed up teeth formed together into a creepy smile, as if he had been waiting for them to come up. All four of the warriors aimed for the eye in hope of defeating him (Read David vs Goliath?) and victory was assured! Or so they thought. The red stone began glowing and before they knew it, a giant red ball appeared in front of the giant's head. It hit Rafael directly and the explosion force was so hard that it blasted all of them down to the ground at high speed (and height). Aiman managed to recover mid-air and saved Fr0st and Luke. Except for Raf. He crashed down the ground with a BANG so loud that the other 3 could easily hear.
"Hey, man. You ok?" Fr0st showed his (unneeded) concern.
"Do I look okay to you? OWWWW, THAT HURTS YOU SONNOVA BITCH!" Raf let out all his fury.
"Great. Looks like those stones can shoot lazers AND energy balls. Hope that's all he has to offer."
Then from the buildings jumped out black demons. Their flickering body suggested that they're made of shadow. They all varied from size to size, the only thing in common was that they had one goal: Kill the four of them. And with a large amount of them, defeating them wouldn't be an easy task.
"You JUST have to say it, Lucario. Now we're officially screwed."

The shadows leapt at them from different angles. Raf charged at them and chopped up any monsters in sight despite his wounds. But he had paid a price for that foolishness: One them managed to slip past and stabbed right through his stomach. Just looking at him could make you feel his pain. Luke and Fr0st tag-teamed those beasts with arrows and aura blasts. Raf was on the verge of dying when all of his wounds closed up, his fatigue seemed to fade away. He then noticed an arrow on his body, which looked nothing like Fr0st's.

"That was mine. Healing arrow. Sadly, I could only use it twice, so be careful next time. You owe me one." Aiman, whose body now had a green outline, gave him a small fist bump then left, ready.
"Heh. Yeah, I will. And by the way, favor returned." Aiman didn't know what he meant until he saw a fading shadow right behind him.
"We're even. Now it's time to show those beasts just how epic we are."
"GUYS! I've figured out the shadow's weakness! Ranged attacks!"
"Why are you so sure, Fr0st?"
"Because they all died by my arrows."
"Wait, ALL? Wow, you're good."
"Heh. Took you a while to realize."
"If you killed them all, then what's that?" Luke pointed behind Fr0st.

Fr0st turned his head around and saw a swarm of shadow beasts. The four readied their weapons and attacked. Fr0st and Aiman shot flurries of arrows up in the sky and gave them a storm of arrows that they couldn't hide. But some of them were smart. They grabbed big pieces of rubbles and used them as a shield from the incoming arrows. However, that didn't help them from avoiding Raf's fury: a lightning-infused scythe slashing through rocks, metals and monsters was something to be feared. And then there was Lucario's dish: A slice of punches and strong kicks along with a topping of Aura Spheres, which had an explosive taste. They were having a good time cutting down weeds when it suddenly darkened. There was a strange black orb heading their way. They didn't know that was the prologue of their loss.

An Inevitable Loss?
"Hey guys, what's that? It looks...ominous."
"Probably another energy blast. I'll take it down."
Aiman then wielded his green bow and shot at the black orb flying slowly at them. It exploded and Aiman gave the rest a "thumbs up". But the ball wasn't an ordinary attack. It created a small black hole and began sucking everything around them, from the rubbles, pieces of buildings to the remaining shadow beasts. Aiman and Raf dashed through the buildings' remains to safety as quickly as possible. Lucario followed them for a short time until he noticed something:

"Hey, guys, where's Fr0st?" The trio looked back. Fr0st was slow, so he was caught by the black hole's pull and was about to be swallowed by it. Raf and Aiman were surprised and they decided to rescue their friend out of the mess. But the first to go was Lucario. He jumped in one go to the black hole's location. He then hopped his ways to Fr0st through series of flying rocks. It wasn't easy. He almost lost his balance which might resulted in his being sliced'n'diced by sharp pieces of buildings. Finally he reached Fr0st whose foot touched the black hole.

"AW MAN AW MAN! HELP!!!!!" He screamed in desperation. Luke had no time to waste. He immediately grabbed hold of Fr0st's wrist and threw him over to Raf and Aiman, who was a little bit far away. Fr0st was successfully rescued by Lucario and caught by Raf and Aiman. But Lucario wasn't lucky. The moment he saved Fr0st was the moment his chance of escape vanished. Lucario was no longer seen. He had been sucked into the black hole, transported into an unknown location. Then it exploded, small pieces of shadow
"Damn. Luke! HEY! Come on man, this isn't funny. I know you've escaped! Quit hiding and show up!" Raf tried calling out to Luke, but it was futile. Luke was no more.
"It's my fault...Because of me...Luke..." Fr0st was in great grief. Who wouldn't be after someone sacrificed their lives to save yours.
"Guys. I-I don't think...L-Luke want to s-see us crying like this. W-We..*hic* must BEAT THE GIANT! So we can avenge his death!" Aiman stated his declaration in tears.

The three of them agreed and decided to go for an all-out plan. Aiman's outline turned into orange and a powerful gust lifted them up, heading towards the giant's head. The beast swung its gigantic arm in order to swat them like flies. But thanks to its slow movement, the trio avoided with ease and they kept on flying upwards. Thanks to first-hand experience, they flew to the back of the giant's head and spotted something. A strange symbol glowing on the cyclop's head. Raf jumped off the wind current, created another weapon which looked like a halberd and stabbed his weapons at the symbol. The giant screamed out its pain and waved around wildly as if trying to get rid of the awful feeling. Raf fell down from the top of its head, pulling his weapons out the symbol. The giant's wild swing hit Raf directly and he flew at great speed, colliding with Aiman and Fr0st. The three of them fell down at high speed. But this time, Aiman was knocked out cold. So there was nothing that could stop them from hitting the ground hard and bacame pancakes-bloody ones.

Fr0st's arrows began falling out ,one by one until most of them were gone. He noticed it and tried to grab as many as possible. However, he was able to grab only 5 of them, all of which had a blue tip. Then with great accuracy, he shot at Aiman and Raf which brought about a strange result: They were frozen and their falling speed was so greatly reduced that they gently landed on the piles of destroyed buildings. Then Fr0st stabbed himself with the arrow and touched the ground with no trouble. The drak-skinned monster kept on stomping around, creating tremedous earthquakes. Fr0st noticed a building falling down at them. It was closing in fast, so fast that Fr0st didn't have time to reach his last arrow when a dome of stone appeared, covering them from being squashed. Then, it slowly decomposed and revealed Aiman standing tall. His brown outline shifted into a color of jade green. Then he created an arrow and stabbed Raf with it. All the wounds on his body was healed in an instant.
"Damn...Looks like I can't heal anymore...If that giant can still move, we're deadmeat.
" Just as he finished his sentence, the giant roared as loud as possible, so loud that it even shattered a nearby building.
"Hah...Copying Lucario eh? That isn't cool at all."
"Eh? Raf? Hey, are you still ok?" Fr0st went near Raf, checking his wounds. They were fully healed, with no signs of side effects.
"Don't worry. Thanks to Aiman, I'm back at 100% and ready to fight." He said while smiling triumpantly. But it couldn't fool Aiman. He saw Raf's shaking hand. After being heavily injured TWICE and healed both times, his body must've been strained greatly. Aiman pat his back and muttered:
"Don't push yourself, Raf. We don't want to have another dead person."
"Since when are you an old man? Stop worrying. I'm strong enough to kick both of your asses!" He chuckled.
The three of them looked at the enraged beast. Its blue eye was looking down at them. They knew the giant would stop at nothing to kill the trio who stabbed its head. Not only that, they also noticed a marching army of shadows, so many that they blocked out the horizon. And so, the trio began their last stand against the gigantic monster.
The Dues ex Machina Intervenes!
In the meantime...
"Uh...Where...Where am I?" Lucario wondered. He could feel his body floating and strangely numbed. He looked around him. Surrounding him was darkness and nothing else.
"Ah...I remembered...I was sucked inside a black hole. So this is where it leads." He let out a sigh. He switched into his "Aura Vision" and observe the surroundings. He saw pitch black auras in different places-The same as the shadow beasts the four of them had fought. Lucario looked up, at the darkness that had enveloped this place. He was afraid, very afraid that he wouldn't be able to get out. But there was no point in getting out. What would he do if he escaped? Be killed by the rampaging giant? The image of his comrades popped inside his head.
"I wonder...how they are doing...I hope they could beat him without me...I feel...so lonely...so cold...so depressed...I want to give up...I just...want to end it all...All the suffering..." But then he stopped. His tone suddenly changed.
"But I can't give up here! There are still things I must do. I WILL get out! And I'll kick this giant's ass. As many times as needed to save the lives of my comrades-my friends." And then, there was a beep sound coming from a pocket on his thigh. When he examined it, it was the red machine given to him by an old man. When he opened it, it showed everything from abilities to weaknesses, even info about the shadow monsters and the location he was trapped in.
"So...it is called "Draknar the Mineral Monster" eh? Nice. But looks like there's no way out. "Sent up into the large void rune, never to escape unless the creature is killed." That doesn't sound good at all. How can I make another way out?" Luke pondered that question until he felt something strange beating inside his body. He began to feel hot, so hot that he thought his guts were on fire. And then, he blacked out.

At that time, Raf and the others prepared themselves for the last stand. Aiman's outline darkened and his weapon turned into a katana. Raf placed the tip of the scythe and halberd against each other. There was a was shining light and the result: Fusion. The two weapons had become one: One head was the scythe, the other was the halberd. Then he created another spear and began charging. Lightning crackled around him, rays of them were directed into both weapons creating loud static noise. Fr0st, sadly couldn't do much. He lost all his arrows, and with only one freeze arrow, how could he fight? Then Draknar the giant just raised his hand and punched down the ground in front of him. The blastwave flew right at them, threatening to knock them away. Yet the air was sliced into two creating a shield from the blast. It was Aiman's blade. Its long blade dripping with shadow showed just how dangerous it could be. They were ready. Ready to risk their lives. Ready to take revenge for a lost friend. But then, a small portal appeared. From there stepped out a man. His body was white like a ghost and gave off a strange purple glow.
"Who the fu-"
"Who are you?" Aiman interrupted Raf.
"...A friend." He answered. Then he flew straight at Draknar, aiming to beat him alone.
"Wait, could you be?"

He charged an Aura Sphere so concentrated that its size is twice as big as a normal one, emiting violet light. He threw it up high in the sky and the next thing they saw was a rain of energy beams destroying dozens of shadows, one dozen after another. The orb shot beams of energy continuosly at the swarm of shadows, then it flew down and obliberated every single shadow beings. Then he flew straight at the cyclops's eyes. However, the giant giant managed to stop him with both hands. It had no effect. He blocked it with his arms stretching out. Then he escaped it and launched up into the red sky. He then dropped down like a rocket and chopped off Draknar's arm. It screamed painfully while trying to stop its black blood from flowing out. It punched with all its might at him. He paid back with a punch of his own and when two fists collided, Draknar's arm exploded from the recoil. Its scream turned into a desperate one. It finally realized that the enemy in front of him was on a entirely different level. It shot out a powerful energy orb as its last resort. It was a futile effort. He knocked away the ball with such strength that it flew a lot faster to a different direction. The explosion was huge, huge enough to be seen by Raf, Aiman and Fr0st. The giant could no longer fight. Its abilities was useless, its willpower was depleted, the only thing Draknar could do was run. The instant it turned its head was when Luke shot himself at the monster's head, piercing through the back of its head and utterly destroyed the eyeball. Draknar then fell down to the ground, destroying anything it fell onto and filled the air with dust from his fall. Draknar was single-handedly defeated by one person. The three "heroes" watched in awe, unable to comprehend the fact that Lucario killed the army of shadow beast that even the three of them had difficulty with. Then Lucario warped in front of them. Raf, Aiman and Fr0st let out a sigh of relieve.

The Finale...Or IS IT?
After the battle, the cyclops was finally down on the ground. Its rock-hard body slowly crumbled and turned into dust. Draknar was no more. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. It was all over. They could go home now. But they were very, very wrong. One person didn't show any signs of happines was Lucario. Fr0st came to congratulate him on beating the giant when Lucario pushed Fr0st with an invisible force so hard that he flew right through a building.
"What the fuck?" Raf exclaimed.
Lucario didn't seem like himself. He looked like a doll-posessed by something scary, something dreadful. Then he charged at the both of them and attacked. Raf and Aiman managed to dodge in time and jumped about twenty meters away from him.
"H-Hey, Luke. What's going on, man? We won, so why're you-" Aiman's sentence was interrupted by Raf's.
"Damn! Looks like the party's not over yet. It's time to RUMBLE! Let the last battle BEGIN!"
To be continued.

(Part 2 will be released in a few days )
PS: DAMN! THIS PIECE IS HARD WORK! Fair judgment and tons of CnC needed.
PSS: I edited certain parts. Also, I have made it so that even after removing the color, you can still guess who's talking based on the context.
PSSS: AIMAN GOT A BRAND NEW COLOR! Easier for the eye too. Also, MAD EDITING to get rid of typos and such.

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 05:00 PM
AIMAN, CRANKUBA, SMITTIWERMAN! YOU ARE ALL DISQUALIFIED FROM THIS EVENT. (Unless you magically send the story right this second)

So GamerXD how the fuck am I supposed to put this on the front page, just in order 1-8 or combine them all together, whats the deal here.

Luzoto
05-18-2013, 05:05 PM
AIMAN, CRANKUBA, SMITTIWERMAN! YOU ARE ALL DISQUALIFIED FROM THIS EVENT. (Unless you magically send the story right this second)

So GamerXD how the fuck am I supposed to put this on the front page, just in order 1-8 or combine them all together, whats the deal here.

Dunno about Aiman, but Crank asked himself to be banned for personal reasons, and Smitti hasn't been on in forever.

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 05:11 PM
Well at least feel good that I'm following my own rules. Rather looking the opposite direction (Like I did for a certain someone who joined in late)

Hmm, I think I figured out a way to make GamerXD's boss fight work stay here but keep its colors (since he meant for them)

I will make put this http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?54245-WRHG-BOSS-FIGHT&p=977591#post977591 directly on the front page.

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 08:26 PM
I am going to kick your ass, Lethal2.

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 08:35 PM
I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS LETHAL2! (meaning the time is up, no take backs, its 5/18/2013. The time is up)

Triss
05-18-2013, 08:40 PM
Nah give him a break KKA. It's just a measly 20 minutes.

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 08:41 PM
I want to say this: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/007/423/untitle.JPG

But then I thought about it: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSjFQ-2LDwQ/UX6Z9pktAWI/AAAAAAAAALE/eBIycu5Yjag/s1600/Okay2_kindleDX.png you can have 20 minutes.

Xate
05-18-2013, 08:59 PM
GO GO LETHAL2! SHOW US YOUR REMAKE! And where's the link to my story on the frontpage?

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 09:35 PM
10 minutes left. Your time is almost up.

Xate
05-18-2013, 09:55 PM
Come on! Hit us with your best shot!

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 10:04 PM
5 minutes left. Boy you better come with it quickly.

Xate
05-18-2013, 10:07 PM
A MAD RACE! 0.05% AND 5 MINUTES! WHICH ONE WILL WIN? Stay tuned and find out!

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 10:08 PM
3 minutes left......... Your in deep shit Lethal2

Xate
05-18-2013, 10:12 PM
ASK HIM TO LET YOU USE IT FOR 3 MINUTES! HURRY!

Triss
05-18-2013, 10:19 PM
This is the final countdown.
"DUM-DUM-DUUUUUUMMMMMM"(sound effect)

Somehow this thread become race against time.

Xate
05-18-2013, 10:22 PM
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 10:23 PM
2 minutes left....... You best hurry http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcJ-wNmazHQ You don't have time to look at this, look at it later.

Luzoto
05-18-2013, 10:23 PM
Good god, how many posts can you make about the same thing? Please, slow down. It's starting to become spam.

kingkickass2013
05-18-2013, 10:49 PM
Why not just the story? Basically everything has a link so what's wrong with your story that makes it so it shouldn't be in just a link.

Xate
05-18-2013, 11:37 PM
It seems that my story is the longest 0-0

Xate
05-19-2013, 11:50 PM
So...Where's the review? We're waiting.

Usman
05-21-2013, 06:55 AM
He didnt submit?

kingkickass2013
05-25-2013, 01:14 PM
I'm awaiting the other judges, they need to move.

ACUTELATIOS! WE ARE WAITING ON YOU!

Chamel
05-25-2013, 01:17 PM
Gamer, don't double post.
King, be a little patient. We don't know what she has going on at the moment. Maybe she is looking fot every error that there is and writing useful hints. We don't know, plus is the winning artwork piece even done? Just be a little patient. She will submit her parts soon.

ErrorBlender
05-25-2013, 01:17 PM
Is acutelatios the only one who hasn't judged?

EDIT:: Giving useful hints is her style. She might take awhile with stories that range from 9 pages onwards.

kingkickass2013
05-25-2013, 10:56 PM
Chamel's scores
Lethal: 41/50
J.C: 37/50
Gamer: 42/50

Cant go into details. Grounded >…<
Im doing thiz off my phone. But those are my overall scores...

My scores
Gamer: 47
J.Christian: 43
Lethal5: 5....................................... 35

Hitsuit
05-25-2013, 11:20 PM
Chamel's scores

My scores
Gamer: 47
J.Christian: 43
Lethal5: 5....................................... 35

Gamer wons the fight :D

kingkickass2013
05-26-2013, 02:38 AM
Not necessarily, Lethal5's defeat is iminate unless Acutelatios pulls out a 50 and gives the rest of you 5's.

But if Acutelatio's gives your score a high one and gamer a rather low one then we will see who won.

Xate
05-27-2013, 09:12 AM
Um...Yay? But I (And other guys) still awaits from yours truly some honest-to-goodness CnC. Have fun reading, acutelatios.

Xate
05-31-2013, 06:12 AM
TA DA! SUPER BRAND NEW PART! (Long as hell too) Enjoy! More to come!

Clash of the Elements
"Alright...Now what, Aiman?" Raf turned to Aiman, who is looking as confused as ever.
"I have NO idea. I guess we're supposed to fight? But just how can we beat him? He single-handedly crushed an entire army of shadow with ONE attack, AND finished off Draknar so easily that it made our battle look like a pre-school game. How can we beat the OP Lucario now?" Aiman didn't hide his worries. Not one bit.
"Heh. You worry too much. I say less talking, more fighting. There oughta be a way if we do that. Now then, CAN IT and MOVE OUT!" Raf said with a commanding voice.
"Aye, Captain." Aiman replied with slightly uncertainty.

Floating in front of them was Lucario, their friend, their comrade. Or used to be. He looked entirely different from the usual "Blue Brawler" style. His entire body was covered by a white light like a ghost, except for his glowing purple eyes and outline. The light he emits and the air surrounding him gave off a very...ominous and sinister aura. Then there was a slight movement. Aiman and Rafael immediately entered their defensive stance, preparing for anything Luke might do. The wind stopped, a deep silence spread throughout the battlefield, time as if had come to a halt. Then, in an instant, Luke appeared right in front of Raf and launched a supersonic fist drilling through his stomach. He managed to block it with his weapons, but that didn't prevent him from being sent flying like a rocket.
"Hrg! Arg! GAH!" yelled Raf as he was bouncing off rocks and even cement floors while he was on his rough trip.
"Ouch. That gotta hurt!" said Aiman while watching Raf in pain. Then a small sound of rubble diverted his attention to Luke.

Aiman's outline now turned into a refreshing blue color. And a gunblade materialize in his hand. Its silver cover made it looked quite high-class. And sharp. Then Aiman charged in, slashing rapidly, hoping to injure him. But they were all evaded by Luke and he repaid with multiple slashes from his own gunblade.
"Heh. Copying me? Well, let's see if you can do this!" When Aiman swung his sword, a powerful, highly-compressed water stream shot out, cutting the building behind Luke in half.
"Compressed water can cut through even diamond! How will you protect against that?" Luke said nothing.
Aiman recharged himself and launched another sharp water spray. Luke barely dodged it by crouching down onto the ground, his palms lying against the ground. Aiman leaped forward, aiming his gunblade at Luke and shot water pellets rapidly, one after another. "He was done for." Aiman thought. Oh, how wrong he was. In an instant, a spire of earth emerged from the ground, shielding himself from the bullets, then another one shot up from Aiman's feet. It knocked Aiman high up into the sky and made him spin even harder than a Yo-yo. Then Luke's hand emitted a violet color and emerged from it several Aura Spheres aiming at Aiman. They all hit him directly and he flew into an abandoned building. Luke then threw even more at the building, hoping to completely obliberate him. But an amazing thing happened. Parts of the buildings turned into arms, blocking the incoming shots. Then the building itself slowly changed shape into a giant. Luke concentrated his energy into his palm and shot a piercing beam that blasted through the makeshift colossus.
"Well, that bluff didn't work." Aiman came out of the rubble, his body covered in a solid armor of rocks.
"A clash of Elements! Time to rock'n'roll!"

He put his hand on the ground, creating numerous "cannons" that shot out a lot of rocks. But Luke just stood there, unmoving. Aiman noticed a very dreadful thing. Luke's outline turned orange and a powerful gust of wind surrounding him cut all the incoming projectiles into many pieces. Then in his hands was copies of Aiman's double swords, glowing in an eerie purple light. They were Lucario's aura materialized into a solid form. Then he swung and created multiple air slashes cutting any shields Aiman trying to make. Just before Luke's attacks reach Ai, Ai's outline darkened and in an instant, he vanished. Luke immediately looked up and saw Aiman, wielding a darkness-shrouded katana. Luke simply side-stepped to avoid Aiman's reckless attack and chopped off his head. Luke was surprised that Aiman's corpse slowly turned into and dissipated. He realized that it was a clone and felt a dark presence behind him. He reacted and defeated another clone. After a few seconds, it dawned on him that a dark mist had already covered him. Not a single ray of light managed to reach Luke's eyes. Without his eyes, he could only depended on other senses to defend himself against the clones. At least, that was what Aiman was thinking. Luke's eyes were special-They can sense others' aura, their life source. After locating the target, he simply charged forward to drill his swords through the elemental master. Thanks to pure luck and instinct, Aiman jumped back, barely avoiding Luke's fatal attack. Aiman began to gasp, his breathing faster, his hearbeat drumming so hard that it was the only thing he could hear. His eyesight blurry, signifying his limit. He tried to stand, but his legs gave out. The only thing Aiman last saw was Luke's souless eyes. Then...The color of blood dyed the ground.
PS: I shall edit it from time to time to make it even better. Expect "small" changes.
PSS: COLOR CHANGE FOR AIMAN!

Hitsuit
05-31-2013, 06:22 AM
TA DA! SUPER BRAND NEW PART! (Long as hell too) Enjoy! More to come!

Clash of the Elements
"Alright...Now what, Aiman?" Raf turned to Aiman, who is looking as confused as ever.
"I have NO idea. I guess we're supposed to fight? But just how can we beat him? He single-handedly crushed an entire army of shadow with ONE attack, AND finished off Draknar so easily that it made our battle look like a pre-school game. How can we beat the OP Lucario now?" Aiman didn't hide his worries. Not one bit.
"Heh. You worry too much. I say less talking, more fighting. There oughta be a way if we do that. Now then, CAN IT and MOVE OUT!" Raf said with a commanding voice.
"Aye, Captain." Aiman replied with slightly uncertainty.

Floating in front of them was Lucario, their friend, their comrade. Or used to be. He looked entirely different from the usual "Blue Brawler" style. His entire body was covered by a white light like a ghost, except for his glowing purple eyes and outline. The light he emits and the air surrounding him gave off a very...ominous and sinister aura. Then there was a slight movement. Aiman and Rafael immediately entered their defensive stance, preparing for anything Luke might do. The wind stopped, a deep silence spread throughout the battlefield, time as if had come to a halt. Then, in an instant, Luke appeared right in front of Raf and launched a supersonic fist drilling through his stomach. He managed to block it with his weapons, but that didn't prevent him from being sent flying like a rocket.
"Hrg! Arg! GAH!" yelled Raf as he was bouncing off rocks and even cement floors while he was on his rough trip.
"Ouch. That gotta hurt!" said Aiman while watching Raf in pain. Then a small sound of rubble diverted his attention to Luke.

Aiman's outline now turned into a refreshing blue color. And a gunblade materialize in his hand. Its silver cover made it looked quite high-class. And sharp. Then Aiman charged in, slashing rapidly, hoping to injure him. But they were all evaded by Luke and he repaid with multiple slashes from his own gunblade.
"Heh. Copying me? Well, let's see if you can do this!" When Aiman swung his sword, a powerful highly-compressed water stream shot out, cutting the building behind Luke in half.
"Compressed water can cut through even diamond! How will you protect against that?" Luke said nothing.
Aiman recharged himself and launched another sharp water spray. Luke barely dodged it by crouching down onto the ground, his palms lying against the ground. Aiman leaped forward, aiming his gunblade at Luke and shot water pellets rapidly, one after another. "He was done for." Aiman thought. Oh how wrong he was. In an instant, a spire of earth emerged from the wall, shielding himself from the bullets, then another one shot up from Aiman's feet. It knocked Aiman high up in the sky, spinning even harder than a Yo-yo. Then Luke's hand glowed a violet color and he threw at Aiman several Aura Spheres. They all hit him directly and he flew into an abandoned building. Luke then threw even more at the building, hoping to completely obliberate him. But an amazing thing happened. Parts of the buildings turned into arms, blocking the incoming shots. Then the building itself slowly changed shape into a giant. Luke concentrated his energy into his palm and shot a piercing beam that blasted through the makeshift colossus.
"Well, that bluff didn't work." Aiman came out of the rubble, his body covered in a solid armor of rocks.
"A clash of Elements! Time to rock'n'roll!"

He put his hand on the ground, creating numerous "cannons" that shot out a lot of rocks. But Luke just stood there, unmoving. Aiman noticed a very dreadful thing. Luke's outline turned orange and a powerful gust of wind surrounding him cut all the incoming projectiles into many pieces. Then in his hands was copies of Aiman's double swords, glowing in an eerie purple light. They were Lucario's aura materialized into a solid form. Then he swung and created multiple air slashes cutting any shields Aiman trying to make. Just before Luke's attacks reach Ai, Ai's outline darkened and in an instant, he vanished. Luke immediately looked up and saw Aiman, wielding a darkness-shrouded katana. Luke simply side-stepped to avoid Aiman's reckless attack and chopped off his head. Luke was surprised that Aiman's corpse slowly turned into and dissipated. He realized that it was a clone and felt a dark presence behind him. He reacted and defeated another clone. After a few seconds, it dawned on him that a dark mist had already covered him. Not a single ray of light managed to reach Luke's eyes. Without his eyes, he could only depended on other senses to defend himself against the clones. At least, that was what Aiman was thinking. Luke's eyes were special-They can sense others' aura, their life source. After locating the target, he simply charged forward to drill his swords through the elemental master. Thanks to pure luck and instinct, Aiman jumped back, barely avoiding Luke's fatal attack. Aiman began to gasp, his breathing faster, his hearbeat drumming so hard that it was the only thing he could hear. His eyesight blurry, signifying his limit. He tried to stand, but his legs gave out. The only thing Aiman last saw was Luke's souless eyes. Then...The color of blood dyed the ground.

Oh god men e_e

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 04:34 PM
Lethal5's Story


Setting (rather description): 4
You did a pretty good job here, it was described well and I could see everything that was happening. It was detailed, a little too detailed. You don't really have to go into detail of simple tasks such as unlocking a door, it doesn't have to occupy a whole paragraph just a simple sentence should suffice like so: "Taking the key out from my pocket, I unlocked the door and trudged inside my house."


Plot: 3
The way you started the story and slipped in the story of the monster wasn't really the best to be honest. It wasn't abrupt or anything but you could've dropped it a little more gracefully. The rest of the story was a little too straight forward. He find out of the monster, vows to find it, meets his allies and they kill the monster. The end was the one that was abrupt. You can't just end the story with "the end". At least not this type of story. You can end with a cliff hanger of how he wakes up in a different place but you can't just break the fourth wall and tell the reader that you can't tell them what happens to Rafael and just slap in "the end" for good measure. That's not the way you finish a story; it's just a turnoff and anti-climactic.


Characters: 2
I gave you a two mostly because of the lack of both Veir's and Nitro's personalities. Not once in your story did I see any of Veir's cocky nature or any sort of remark about his view of humans being the weaker species. I had not also seen the correct portrayal of Nitro's serious demeanour. They're both really out of character and the only one that you correctly wrote is your own character.

Grammar: 4
You did pretty well in this with the lack of spelling errors, but there were lots of places where you used the wrong word and tense that just ruins the atmosphere and flow of the story.


The Boss Monster: 7
The monster was portrayed pretty well. It was large and wrathful like KKA has describe though I would've liked to have seen all of his powers used, but that's just me really.


Total: 20/50


Tips:
- One of the things that I've noticed throughout the story is that you were alternating between tenses like the present and past.


For example: "The park was absolutely crowded, and it's pretty noisy though."


You started the sentence as a past tense with the words "was" and "crowded" but you placed a present tense there with the word "it's". "It's" is the shorter word for "it is" and "is" is used in a present tense instead of past.


For the correct sentence it should be: "The park was absolutely crowded, and it was pretty noisy though."


Things like these make the flow of the story wobble a lot, causing the story to not be as good as it should be. I suggest you try to stick with one of the tenses for the whole way. I know it can be hard to do that, and to be honest I tend to alternate between tenses as well but you need to learn to pick them out from your work. They're quite easy to catch as they don't really sound right. Read over your story at least, I don't know, three times. Read it out loud or in your head just as long as you read over your work. That's all I ask.


-In your story I also seem to see things that really don't make much sense. For examples the boys drinking beer. Sure that might not be really a big deal to you, but in my opinion it is. Also it's partly because I'm mostly one who likes to be a little accurate in small details like this since my style is mostly fantasy. Boys are mostly those that are under the age of 16 and I'm pretty sure that they're not allowed to consume alcohol at that time. Unless they're screwing the rules of course.


-You also seem to tend to place things in your story that doesn't fit well. Such as placing "..." and using a connecting phrase like "after that" then putting a period between the next word. It's just all worded really weirdly.


For example: "blazing fire occured at the blade and it was really... bright!"


Unless the brightness of the fire at the blade was really important, it's not really the proper thing to use there. It's only used to emphasise the word behind it, or maybe to create the effect of someone having trouble in talking or wheezing for air if used in a conversation, but the sentence had neither of those things.


-Also darling, I notice in your stories you put it like titles for different part so of the story. In my opinion you have no reason to really put them there. Sure you can put them there if it's a novel and make them titles for the chapters, but in a short story like this it's not really ideal. It just confuses the reader and makes them wonder what words like "victory" and "forest" between paragraphs are doing there and could easily turn them off.






GamerXD's Story
Setting: 5
Plot: 6
Characters: 4
Grammar: 5
The Boss Monster: 6
Total: 26

J.Christian's story
Setting: 3
Plot: 4
Characters: 4
Grammar: 2
The Boss Monster: 5
Total: 18


Chamel's scores
Lethal: 41/50
J.C: 37/50
Gamer: 42/50

Cant go into details. Grounded >…<
Im doing thiz off my phone. But those are my overall scores...

My scores
Gamer: 47
J.Christian: 43
Lethal5: 5....................................... 35

I don't know why, but I think acutelatios felt like giving Lethal5 CnC. I will be adding these together to find the winner.

Chamel
06-01-2013, 04:42 PM
Wow.. looking at King's CnC and scores, I feel like I didn't grade hard enough...

Up! Wait, that's Acute's CnC... Still :3

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 04:46 PM
That's acute's score, I am jealous as well. WELL we are nearing the end, as soon as I get the picture for the next boss fight then I can open it up. But now I will add up the scores and see who won.

THE SCORES!

Lethal5: 91
GamerXD: 115
J.Christian: 98

GamerXD WON THE WAR, his prize is........ *Drum rolls*............................................ ........ SOMETHING!

Chamel
06-01-2013, 04:58 PM
A MADAFACKIN COOKIE FOR CHRISTS SAKE

Lol - Hey King, do I get a medal? :3


400th post!

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 04:59 PM
Hmm, a sneak peek for the next boss fight as the winning prize? Or perhaps a free win? Or I could get a signature made so it says, WINNER OF THE FIRST BOSS FIGHT.

Hitsuit
06-01-2013, 08:31 PM
That's acute's score, I am jealous as well. WELL we are nearing the end, as soon as I get the picture for the next boss fight then I can open it up. But now I will add up the scores and see who won.

THE SCORES!

Lethal5: 91
GamerXD: 115
J.Christian: 98

GamerXD WON THE WAR, his prize is........ *Drum rolls*............................................ ........ SOMETHING!

I bake him a pie!
lol joke.

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 08:36 PM
WELL GAMERXD8, I have decided you get to choose 1 of 3 prizes.

IN DOOR NUMBER ONE: A FREE WIN TO YOUR SCORE! (This one will force me to make a deal with acutelatios on getting it)

IN DOOR NUMBER TWO: A SNEAK PEEK ON THE SECOND BOSS FIGHT!

IN DOOR NUMBER THREE: AN ART SIGNATURE SHOWING YOUR VICTORY AGAINST DRACKNAR!

Chamel
06-01-2013, 09:08 PM
Sooo... Nu medal for Chamel...?

Lawl

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 09:16 PM
The next boss fight will start when GamerXD8 chooses his prize and the picture for the second boss fight comes.

Chamel
06-01-2013, 09:20 PM
If I'm a judge for the next one... Can I still participate as long as I give legitimate scores for everyone BUT me...? :D

Hitsuit
06-01-2013, 09:21 PM
The next boss fight will start when GamerXD8 chooses his prize and the picture for the second boss fight comes.

maybe gamer should think the second boss fight lol

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 09:23 PM
I already got it planned and everything, and the 3rd one, and the fourth one, and the fifth one, and the sixth one. (I have A LOT of time on my hands)

ErrorBlender
06-01-2013, 09:27 PM
Chamel, if you would want to join I dont think you can judge. You can only be one of either.

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 09:36 PM
Chamel, if you would want to join I dont think you can judge. You can only be one of either.

EXACTLY!


If I'm a judge for the next one... Can I still participate as long as I give legitimate scores for everyone BUT me...? :D

No you cannot, its one or the other. YOU CAN HOWEVER make a story for the fun of it, but your not participating in the competition.

Xate
06-01-2013, 10:34 PM
AND MY CHOICE! TEN-TEN--TEN-TEEEEEEN! DOOR NUMBER THREE! (Who needs a free win? I can get myself that.(I think). And I'll wait for the 2nd boss fight like everyone.)

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 10:36 PM
Alright, I will head to I think its Chasters picture shop right now, I heard they make signatures. But first, tell me how you want it to look.

Xate
06-01-2013, 10:48 PM
Let's see here...Left side will be the heroes (From the left):Fr0st(Blue) with bow, Aiman(Black) with a glow in his hand (signifying his mage skill), Raf(Red) with a scythe AND Lucario in his possessed form (White with purple outline and purple eyes). The right side will be Draknar! And the shadow beasts (Not too many please). That's that.
PS: It's a shame that acutelatios didn't give me any CnC. Good for you, Lethal.

kingkickass2013
06-01-2013, 10:53 PM
I am assuming you are wanting them in stick figure form? This information will be taken to Chaster's picture shop.

Lethal
06-01-2013, 11:30 PM
Mofos, I lost. lol.

Xate
06-01-2013, 11:34 PM
Yeah. Cuz no one got time for full-bodies. Except for...Draknar maybe? Your choice on what the evil guys look like.

Hitsuit
06-01-2013, 11:38 PM
Yeah. Cuz no one got time for full-bodies. Except for...Draknar maybe? Your choice on what the evil guys look like.

edit also guys do you know what happened to Chas's shop?

Chamel
06-01-2013, 11:41 PM
Alright... I'll make a story and just judge I guess :3

(Got my comp back :D )

Xate
06-01-2013, 11:49 PM
GOOD! NOW THEN, CnC! And Raf...Your monster description had more points than me...MUST READ TO FIND OUT WHY!

ErrorBlender
06-02-2013, 12:24 AM
Chamel, I could judge if you'd want to join this time. I've got a lot of free time on my hands by the time the second boss fight might end.

Hitsuit
06-02-2013, 12:36 AM
GOOD! NOW THEN, CnC! And Raf...Your monster description had more points than me...MUST READ TO FIND OUT WHY!

lol he's Lethal XD also congrats Gamer :D

Xate
06-02-2013, 12:49 AM
Oooops. My bad.

acutelatios
06-02-2013, 04:17 AM
Haha, congrats Gamer on the win! Anyways, I'm still working on both J.Christian's and Gamer's CnC so expect this to be edited or me to post them here~
I've been feeling critical lately so they'll be straight forward~
o w o

Xate
06-02-2013, 04:34 AM
Straightforward? Even better! And...Mind telling me your Skype acc? So I can add you.

acutelatios
06-02-2013, 07:26 AM
J.Christian's Story


Setting: 3
Not very detailed and descriptive as I would've liked to have read but it did create a rough image in my head and I can visualise the scene so that counts as something~!




Plot: 4
The whole flow and plot of the whole story was confusing. Especially the very first paragraph; you started out with a dream and then a sudden transition to the next sentence which was the main thing. However the action and plan was pretty good, I will admit it.




Characters: 4
To be honest I'm not sure about the characters. You did do a pretty nice job on their powers ad stuff, but for their personalities and everything else they were a little out of character. But that's what I think.




Grammar: 2
Ah, too much grammar errors deary. Misused words and commas, alternating tenses are just a few of the lots of errors in your piece. I have no idea what to suggest to you to improve it, besides reading over it and read more books. Reading is always the best help to aid any writer trying to improve. Read more and observe other styles. See what they do that you lack in your stories and improve on it little by little. That's all I can say.




The Boss Monster: 5
Not too bad, you did pretty well in this section. Though think everyone did pretty alright with this section anyway. Good job buddy~!


Tips:
-Something that really bothers me is that the different parts of the story are divided into huge paragraphs. Just the size of these paragraphs are pretty big and honestly they will intimidate some of the readers to continue reading your story. It is also hard to read everything all so close together and it just hurts my eyes. Don't be afraid to space them out and put them into smaller paragraphs. It'll make many reader's lives a little easier and much more pleasing to the eye.




-A big problem about your story you is that you seem to be not showing and only telling what is happening in the story. It's not really interesting to read and honestly it gets really repetitive. Try to describe in more detail.


For example: "Draknar jumped and started to attack, Mile quickly ran as fast as he could, while Karugame used some of his range ice skills. Then Raf ran too."


You could show what's happening instead of just telling us like so:


"Making the first move, the Draknar leapt into the air, fists curled and ready to maul the three warriors. With determined expression on their faces, Mile and Raf bolted into a sprint, both keeping in time with each stride. Standing his ground, Kuragame gathered what little water he could from the desert and formed three frozen spears above his head, his eyes staring at vulnerable places he could launch his ice spears to impale the beast."


Sorry, if it sounds a little advanced, but you can see how that looks a tad more interesting and more action packed to read? Good, just next time try to elaborate on what they do, describe what they do in detail and try not to just tell us.




-Another problem is that, oh gosh, you overuse the commas. That really isn't an ideal style and one that I suggest you try to change. You should try to use a mix of commas and periods, besides they are used for different things. Commas are used for pauses in long sentences and to connect two different sentences that fits well in a single one, while a period is the end of the sentence and you go to a new one, which is why your first word in the next sentence will start in a capital.


For example: "After running for God knows how long, Tim skidded to a halt next to a tree, placing his hand against its thick trunk as he caught his breath."


In the first paragraph, the last lines was just too long.


For example: "While the trio was walking,they heard and felt a giant voice and a earthquake,Mile quickly look at his back while Raf and Karugame look at they side,they didn't saw anything they just only saw a whirlwind and some cactus,They wonder and just never mind it then continue walking,They continue walking and walk until they see a city."


What's probably best to do is to reword it and separate them into different sentences (I also corrected some errors like wrong tenses and reworded some of the sentences).


Like so: "While the trio were walking, they heard and felt a giant voice and an earthquake. Mile quickly looked at his back while Raf and Karugame looked at their side. They didn't see anything; just only a whirlwind and some cacti. They wondered and just never minded it before they continued walking until they reached the city."


I'll get to yours Gamer; don't fret :3

Hitsuit
06-02-2013, 07:43 AM
@Latios
Oh my thanks alot,yep grammar is too hard for me lol.
Also at the first paragraph about the dream i just added it i have no idea what to add XD.

Chamel
06-02-2013, 11:07 AM
Chamel, I could judge if you'd want to join this time. I've got a lot of free time on my hands by the time the second boss fight might end.

That's nice of you error! But I'd rather like to see you enter next time. If I still feel strongly about writing and you don't really want to, than that would be awesome. But no one has seen you write (other than your demo) and something tells me you might be the dark horse of wRHG. So I guess we'll just see when it comes along. I really appreciate the offer though bro

kingkickass2013
06-02-2013, 11:13 AM
I don't know, the next one looks a bit overpowered but then again they are called boss's for a reason.

ErrorBlender
06-02-2013, 11:23 AM
Dark horse of the wRHG? :D. The battle between me and acutelatios is almost done so, if you want to see me write, then there it is.

Chamel
06-02-2013, 11:35 AM
Bl.An.C vs. Rhami and Astor?

That will certainly be an interesting fight!! Good luck bro! It won't be easy though

And King, are you giving a specific monster or do the competitors get to make one up?

ErrorBlender
06-02-2013, 12:45 PM
Yeah, the prologue of the battle I posted was in the Original Lit section.

I know acutelatios will be a tough one to beat.

kingkickass2013
06-02-2013, 12:51 PM
I come up with the monster, but if people have an idea then I'm all ears. (except for the 2nd boss fight, that one is for king only)

Xate
06-03-2013, 11:38 AM
Tears of a Friend
Silence engulfed the battlefield. The ominous red sky, piles of what used to be buildings didn't help ease the worry of the young adventurer.
"Aw man...Just what the hell just happened?" Nero was stunned, trapped in deep confusion. He could no longer tell what was right or wrong. He SAW what had happened inside the black rune, the fact that Lucario was controlled by...something that had caused him to go berserk was known by him. But something struck him as odd: "Why did Luke kill the beast first and not them? If he had been conscious, why did he attack Fr0st, Aiman and Rafael?" But more importantly was what was happening right in front of his eyes. Blood was slowly dripping down Luke's blades, his eyes wide open. Because in front of him was a man who should've been knocked out cold.

"RAF! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Nero shouted. Not that anyone could hear him, that is.
"Yo, Luke. Missed me?" His hands holding Luke's blades, blood dripping from his hands. Luke immediately jumped back to gain distance. Then Raf bent down near Aiman and grabbed hold of him.
"Haz...Do you have to mess him up this badly, Luke? Wait here while I put him somewhere safe." Then turned back and walked away. Luke tried to take advantage of the opportunity to attack, but he suddenly stopped. As if there had been invisible chains binding him. After Raf returned, he said:
"Alrighty then. Ready for some action? I'll let you make the first move." Then with a provocative gesture, he stood there, brimming with confidence. Luke flew in and slashed Raf's neck. He managed to dodge it just in time, when the blade was just a hair's breadth away from his neck. Then in an instant, Raf lauched a counterattack with his two weapons, which are glowing white. Luke tried to parry it, but the scythe and spear sliced through Luke's weapons like butter, which forced him to teleport away.
"Ha. Not so high and mighty now eh, Luke? I didn't waste any seconds after you sent me flying. While "enjoying" my bumpy ride, I took the opportunity to charge my weapons to sharp perfection. With these babies, none of your tricks will work. Now then, drop the copycat act because you're DEAD if you're not serious." Raf pointed his scythe at Luke.

Luke let out a powerful shockwave, almost knocking Raf away, then his body's glow intesified. He teleported right in front of Raf and kicked him right at the stomach. Raf barely avoided it by backstepping, then reaped Luke with his scythe, then chained another stab with his spear. But with his bare hands, Lucario knocked them up into the sky, leaving Raf unarmed. Raf tried to make his escape to get his weapons, but it was too late. Luke grabbed him by the neck slammed him down, hard. In his struggle to get free, Rafael managed to throw dust at Luke's eyes. Experiencing sharp pain, Luke threw him away like a ragdoll "conveniently" at the direction of the weapons. Raf took hold of the weapons and re-absorbed the energy he had stored inside them. After the white lights faded, Raf stabbed both his scythe and spears into the ground. He cracked his knuckles and entered a fighting stance.

"Let's make this personal, shall we?" After removing the dust in his eyes, the moment Luke turned around was when his face was greeted by Raf's rock hard fist. Luke pulled Raf by the arm and executed a flurry of attacks. With only one hand, Raf had successfully blocked most of the hits and kicked Luke right at the groin. The kick had weakened Luke's grip and Raf performed a stunning uppercut, knocking Lucario up in the air. But in a blink of an eye, Luke wrapped behind Raf and threw him up in the sky, then gave him a taste of a chain of aura explosions. Raf was blown away by the explosion and crashed down hard into the piles of rubbles. When he came to, he could feel a sharp pain at the top of his head. Along with an intense heat, he could feel something flowing down his face. When he touched to check, it was hot, red blood.
"Aw man...There goes my perfectly made hairdo." He wobbly climbed up the rubbles and saw Luke standing in front of him, staring at him eye-to-eye.

"Hah...Come on, Luke. That's all you got? You single-handedly took down the entire shadow army AND Draknar. Why can't you even beat down ONE bastard? I know inside you contains an improbable power. Tap into that power and vanquish him!"Luke sent him flying with a simple swing of his hand and Raf landed near Aiman's "body". Tattered, beaten, he mustered all his strength to stand up and shout:
"I can hear it...Your plead for help. Let me tell you one thing...WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK FOR OUR HELP?! We're your friends! Your comrades! It's natural for us to do that. JUST DO YOUR FREAKING BEST AND KICK THAT BASTARD'S BUTT! Don't let him control you anymore! We got your back, mates. The three of us!" His cries were loud and clear. His face was hardly visible under the tears. And then...A single drop of water dropped from Lucario's eye. Then Rafael felt something sharp behind his back. In an instant, all of his wounds were healed! The fatigue was gone, his bleeding head was healed and his blond hair...still ruined by the bright red color of blood.
"What the...Ai?" When he turned around, he saw Aiman-fully healed though still looked dirty due to the clothes.
"Yeah, it's me and DON'T CALL ME AI! I told you that!" Aiman didn't like that nickname one bit.
"Haha. Still has strength to yell huh? Didn't you say something about "Can only heal twice"?"
"Adrenaline. It can boost a human's innate abilities to the max. So it's like my skills are fully recharged! Though it still hurts like hell. Now what?" Aiman asked Raf a question "only Captain Obvious can answer".
"Simple. It's time to rescue our comrade." Both of them looked at Luke ,their eyes filled with determination.
AW YEAH! PART 10! Look out for part 11! And 12...and 13.

acutelatios
06-05-2013, 04:12 PM
GamerXD's Story - Main Battle


Setting: 5
You did exceptionally well compared to the others, while one wrote too much detail and the other with too less detail; you found a balance in the two and it is clear by how I stuck through the whole thing and not realising it's true length. Though I wonder why I ranked this five instead of seven like you deserve, but I digress. Anyways, I could clearly visualise all the surroundings and the characters very vividly and I also enjoyed how you described some of them like "--his stomach began to do a mix of hip-hop and ballet." I have no idea why that made me laugh but it did. Good job~!




Plot: 6
Oh wow, man the plot man~I love the whole plot and setting of the whole story. You gave a wonderful beginning and the rest flowed together amazingly. From the bar to the fight and the end, you hooked me in to continue reading to the end. I really have no problems with it and yet I wonder once more why I gave you a six instead of an eight. Dang sleepy mind, causing me to mistype and stuff...




Characters: 4
I think, between the three of you, that you were the one that had the most accurate portrayals of the characters in your story. Sure there were some hiccups of the personalities a little, but you got their powers down ad you got the general personality down. I also love the banter and interaction between all the characters in all of this, because what usually snags me is that. It was just a pleasure and a delight reading them talk to each other. And yet again I wonder why I gave you a four instead of a seven. This is what happens when you don't get your proper beauty sleep darlings.




Grammar: 5
Pretty good, though I am pretty picky with tenses and proper symbol (since I have no ideas what to call periods or dashes) placements as well as wrong spellings and slangs like "evar" so most of your score was deducted from that. Besides though it is important to enjoy what you're writing and making it funny, things like "insert awesome music here" or (again) "evar" breaks the whole wonderful flow of the story. Also adding to the deduction, you seem to be missing out some words, used words in wrong places and made up you own like "hurted". As far as I know the past tense for hurt is not hurter; since I believe that hurt is also its past tense.




The Boss Monster: 6
Much like the others you did an amazing and accurate job on the beast. Nothing much to say about that~






Tips:
-Like the other you seem to be having trouble with tenses (and don't worry deary, I too have trouble with them sometimes). In the first chapter it was all over it; you started with a present tense with the words "is" and "keep" then later on you began to use past tense with "comprised" and "fallen" before you went back to present tenses. It wasn't that bad but please choose one tense and stick with it for the whole thing. Small tense errors are fine, nothing that reading your whole story a couple of times can't fix.




-A tip to keep in mind when writing talking, try not to have them all in one single line like this:


"Aw man. There goes my lunch. And it was so delicious too." He complained.


If one was to really get down it, it's not really the proper way to write someone talking. You need to space them out. Don't use periods and instead use commas. Like so:


"Aw man, there goes my lunch," he complained. "And it was so delicious too."


With that you can add a pause to give a sort of effect to the second line. You can also put actions between where he talks so readers can visualize what he could be doing while he was talking. For example:


"Aw man, there goes my lunch," he complained holding his sick stomach, trying to keep down the bile crawling up his throat once more. "And it was so delicious too."


See? Sounds a little more better, right?


Also something that I liked about your conversations that you had everyone with different colour. Sure that isn't really professional, but it gave a little flair to your piece that I liked.




-Another thing to keep in mind, remember to try to keep a little realistic with detail. I know it is fantasy that we write but still it keeps a realism to what happens. Things like all the explorers in the pyramids, all skeletons and bones; well hate to break it to you bud but bodies don't decompose that fast. It takes weeks and months until bodies reach that stage. Also, unless they've been close for a long time, the other three warriors wouldn't be in so much grief and actually cry because Lucario was sucked by a black hole. I know you wanted to give a dramatic effect but there are other ways to get to the point and not have to get the all out of character.




-I noticed that you usually use 'n' to replace 'and'. Not really a good idea. I know that it gets pretty tempting to shorten words and phrases but usually 'n' is used when it's a name for a place or a character talks like that since it's their accent, but not in the descriptions of a story. It ruins the flow and theme of the story and I always get taken out of the action because of it. Just try to refrain from using it in descriptions, alright?

kingkickass2013
06-05-2013, 06:54 PM
A new age is upon us, Zeus is long dead and his brother stands tall. The guardian knight of stickpage city no longer breathes and his villagers and knights have all been slaughtered by the shadow beings. Atauromin now lays to rest at the bottom of the sea, never to be seen again. The immortal race from 1546 have been brought to extinction (if you remember correctly, they cannot die from old age, yet everything kills them) "HADES" THE NECROMANCER WILL RULE ALL!!! With Nightshade as his personal body guard from hell, they stand as an unstoppable force.

The army of the undead are upon us. Will you stop them?

Play this song to get a feeling of war ready http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NOwRTGGl4g. This boss fight will come when Hade's picture comes out.

Zeus could possibly return..... But he's not going to the same.....

Xate
06-05-2013, 08:00 PM
Holy CnC. Better make changes to my story. HOORAY FOR CnC!

ErrorBlender
06-05-2013, 08:14 PM
A new age is upon us, Zeus is long dead and his brother stands tall. The guardian knight of stickpage city no longer breathes and his villagers and knights have all been slaughtered by the shadow beings. Atauromin now lays to rest at the bottom of the sea, never to be seen again. The immortal race from 1546 have been brought to extinction (if you remember correctly, they cannot die from old age, yet everything kills them) "HADES" THE NECROMANCER WILL RULE ALL!!! With Nightshade as his personal body guard from hell, they stand as an unstoppable force.

The army of the undead are upon us. Will you stop them?

Play this song to get a feeling of war ready http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NOwRTGGl4g. This boss fight will come when Hade's picture comes out.

Zeus could possibly return..... But he's not going to the same.....

Hey, kingkickass2013, is this NightShade the same one as that Shaq-Of-All-Trades used a long time ago?

kingkickass2013
06-05-2013, 09:45 PM
He is the guest of honor, Nightshade is the guy Shaq-Of-All-Trades used. Those two were the perfect team, one has absolute hatred for mankind and the other one eats human beings. He gave me permission to use Night Shade but since he didn't tell me Night shades story I will come with one myself.

I have to come up with the story on how those two met.

ErrorBlender
06-05-2013, 10:53 PM
Why not ask him for the history then? It would be better if the NightShade here would have the same story, since he was considered the Lord of wRHG then.

kingkickass2013
06-07-2013, 07:06 PM
Well here's the story I came up with for Night Shade currently, unless however Shaq finally decides to give me the past life of Night Shade all I got is the current life. (This is not his past, only the present)

Day's have passed after being banished to the deepest dungeons of the wRHG. All other wRHG's worked together to bring him down to the light, Night Shade spends his days in blaring light that cannot kill the evil and monsters, only have them suffer pain and restrain them within the light. Until today.

Minions of "Hades" the necromancer have been sent to offer Night Shade not only freedom of this prison but anything he could ever desire. All he has to do is serve under Hade's army as his personal general and body guard. Night Shade agreed to all of this and the minions shut down the machine, in an instant Night Shade and the minions shot out of the dungeon and fled to Hade's dark fortress.

Night Shade met face to face with the 2nd most evil thing to ever exist (Night Shade is the first most evil thing to exist, however Hade's stands second in the evil chart and when we start the next boss fight you will see why)

Night Shade asked for one thing only, as much human meat he ever wanted. Hade's nodded but he told Night Shade one thing, the man named Zeus is his to claim. Hade's for filled his promise and created a massive meat locker within his fortress to keep human meats and skin just for Night Shade only. And Night Shade stands by his side on the conquest to RULE THE WORLD!

That's the current story here.

I can give you guys their stories yet I cannot show you their powers or their looks... (Otherwise you would already start making the story)

ErrorBlender
06-09-2013, 03:19 AM
Seems just about right. So when will you put up the thread for the second boss fight?

kingkickass2013
06-09-2013, 03:44 PM
As soon as that god dang picture from Zaix's art shop comes in, but I must be patient since Zaix is very busy with other pictures. Don't worry I made ABSOLUTE SURE that Night Shade and Hade's are of equal OPness. (It wouldn't be a boss fight if the enemy wasn't OP now would it?)