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View Full Version : wRHG Tournament R1: Acel (The Organization) vs Luther Wright (Rochedan)



Hewitt
07-10-2013, 03:05 AM
4th Battle for Round 1 is a go! Here are the Stipulations:

Setting:The pair are taken to a Maximum Security Prison Planet beyond time and space, housing some of the most fiendish mutants to ever roam the galaxy. And guarded by seemingly harmless security drones and wall mounted turrets. But somehow this Prison feels familiar to Acel. It is in fact, a prison in which she will end up in sooner or later in the future, or already has at one point in his past. In this timeline, Acel is a shackled inmate with his arms and legs chained up.

While they are made of any kind of metal easily destroyed, the real feature is in a tiny chip in Acel's head that shocks her everytime she uses her speed. The shocks are mild and annoying at first, but begin to get seriously debilitating after the 3rd shock onwards, fraying her nerves and causing her to paralyze if she is not careful. Acel's gear is also missing, such as the Aether Shield.


Handicap: Acel (The Organization) is imprisoned in this prison planet, not giving her full access to her gear AND is attached with a device that debilitates her speed and hurts her with every use.

Antes :
***Antes are Extra Challenges that add twice the points wagered if successfully pulled off. They come in 3 Flavors (Easy Medium Hard). No two participants can have the same kind of Ante.

Rochedan has initiated a Medium Ante: By the end of this battle, Rochedan must gain a significant insight about both himself and his opponent. The insight must be significant enough to deeply affect his character in the longrun.

Bonus for this Round: Early Bird / First to Post their entry

Scoring:
- Votes are worth 5 pts. each.
- CNC-ing an entry gives you 10 pts. Detailed ones get an extra 5 pts. Maximum 3 CnCs per participant.
- Bonus for the Round is 20 pts.
- Fulfilled Antes give 10, 20, 30 pts. and lost 5, 10, 15 pts if failed depending on difficulty
- Judge's Blessing gives 15 points if entry caught the Judge's eye.

Here are the entries:

Acel (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?69640-Vicar-04-Acel-(Updated-Available))OPERATION 02.2: Round 1// Acel vs. Luther Wright
01: Prison Lane
Acel awoke with a start. The cold floor pushed up against one side of her face and golden strands of hair draped over the other.

It didn't make any sense.

Why were her hands and legs bound, why did she wake up on the floor, and why couldn't she remember how she ended up in this situation?

Squirming like a worm, she managed to sit upright and take in a proper view of her surroundings.

The room itself was devoid of any amenities, except for a plain white cot. It seemed to be a prison cell, but there were no bars. Instead, the room resembled an inside out snow globe. The interior walls of the dome were clear, allowing her to see the gallons of water that surrounded her confinement cell. Through the water she could make out strange panels in the walls lining up the room outside of her cell. Fluorescent lights lit the inside of her cell; the white tile of the floor seemed to glow faintly.

"Interesting…" she whispered to himself.

The prison cell seemed to be designed to contain her. There was nothing that even resembled a door and the glass looked quite thick.

Trying to stand up, Acel completely forgot about her restraints and fell on her face.

"These things are quite the annoyance" she thought to herself.

She yanked apart the handcuffs, wincing as they bit into her wrists, but managing to break them. As she worked on the chains binding her legs, she wondered why would someone place her in an impenetrable cell and even bother to tie her up.

Standing up fully, she stretched and massaged her arms. She felt uncomfortable and out of place. Her hair was longer than usual and not tied up in her trademark ponytail and her body felt sore and weak as if she had not exercised in months.

She needed answers, but first she had to break out of her strange prison.

Acel walked up to the glass and tapped it. It was thick, but she was sure she could shatter it. The only concern she had was the hundreds of gallons of water surrounding her cell. The entire room seemed large enough for all the water to disperse and barely reach her ankles, so she reasoned that a little water would not be the end of the world. Her hair was already a mess anyway.

Her eyes became golden as she felt a familiar surge of power course through her veins. She held her hand back and struck the glass. It buckled and shook vibrating from the force of her impact.

But it held fast. The only blemish for a large crack emanating from where she punched all the way to the top of the glass dome. Almost immediately, the cracks around where she had punched started to shrink and disappear.

“It’s repairing itself,” she realized.

Taking a step back, she marveled as the fissures vanished from the glass dome. First the cracks that were at the bottom disappeared, then the impact point faded and shrunk to nothingness. The cracks going up the wall of the dome where the last to disappear, those at the very top lingering for a few minutes before vanishing.

“Interesting,” she noted as her eyes reverted back to their violet shade.

Acel walked towards the middle of the cell and looked up. She slowly crouched down and braced herself.

In a flash, Acel tore through the top of glass prison, rolling down the outside of her cell and landing with a thud on the ground. She was soaked and felt a ringing going through her head, but she was otherwise fine.

“Well it’s about time you showed up.”

Confused and disoriented, Acel searched for the speaker while coughing up the foul tasting water. Through the film of water, she could make out the figure of a woman.

“Pretty impressive escape. Although I would recommend that you refrain from using your powers anymore,” she added with a tone of condescension.

“What? Who are you?”

“You should probably clear that crap from your eyes and as for me well, the name’s Oracle.” she responded curtly.

Acel did as she was told, wiping the water from her eyes to clear her sight.

Slowly, she lifted her head, catching a glimpse of the smiling blonde haired woman. She had clouded purple eyes and tanned skin.

“You look just like me!” accused Acel.

“To be fair, since I’m older than you, you actually look like me,” she added, “Now then, we should get going. There’s no time to explain, let’s get moving.”

02: Security Hall
Oracle led Acel down the hall, humming happily as she did so. Acel didn’t exactly trust her whimsical doppelganger who appeared out of thin air. However, she didn’t seem evil and Acel couldn’t sense any demonic power emanating from her.

“Ummm, Miss Oracle,” she interjected, “where are we headed exactly?”

The mysterious woman stopped abruptly, slowly turning around with her finger held to her mouth. She looked a bit deranged, but Acel had learned to expect that much from her already. Suddenly, Acel heard a whirring sound and saw a light come from behind the corner. A pack of security droids floated past, canvasing the area. Although they were small, they were each bristling with automatic weapons poking out of their round bodies.

In less than a minute, the security droids had already floated down another corridor, Acel could still hear the faint whirring however.

“This prison is fully autonomous, there’s no one here but us inmates and the droids. They implanted a tracking device in you when they brought you here. It’s not that powerful but when you left your cell block if set off a small alarm off in this section,” she explained.

Acel pulled her hair back, tying a strand of it around to make her ponytail.

“How are we gonna turn off the alarm?”

“We’re headed to the warden’s office. From there we’ll have full control of the facility and will be able to get out of here.”

“Warden’s office…I thought you said this place was fully autonomous.” Acel inquired.

“It’s the control center of this crazy place. If there ever was a warden here, he would be set up there. You see where those droids went? They’re headed into the main atrium. From there we should be able to find the Warden’s room.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I’ll explain later but we need to get to the warden’s office first.”

Briskly, Acel followed Oracle into the main atrium. It was huge but barren, lacking any distinctive features multitudes of floating droids and drones searching for her. There were four floors accessible by walkways each with no descript corridors that probably led to other cells. The area also had many storage containers that hid more droids from sight.

“Where is this office supposed to be?” asked Acel impatiently.

“Third floor, second corridor. But you shouldn’t—”

Acel took off immediately for the Warden’s office, leaving Oracle behind. Something was wrong however as she slammed into the side of a storage container after tearing through the second floor walkway. Acel was dazed and in pain, she had a splitting headache and was completely disoriented. Spinning up guns, the security drones began to flock towards Acel.

You don’t have your Aether shield, Idiot. Run!

Acel sprinted fast, weaving through the storage containers, but the drones could keep up. Without her gear, she was vulnerable to gunfire, and the drones insisted on firing hundreds of bullets at her. It was like trying to dodge rain, futile.

In a fit of desperation, Acel boosted once more, ripping through one of the droids instantaneously and smashing through one of the containers. Although risky, she moved fast enough to successfully elude the drones for now. However, almost immediately after landing, Acel felt as though her head was splitting apart. Her eyes watered and she began to convulse, clutching her head while wriggling on the floor. She bit her lip so hard that she tasted iron, but it was the only way to keep from screaming out and attracting the droids she had tried so hard to lose.

Unfortunately, an errant drone floated past the door of the open container, catching a glimpse of Acel. It began whirring up its guns to fire, but there was a loud snap and the drone burst into blue flames.

“Do you even listen to your elders?”

Oracle appeared from the corner of Acel’s eye with a wide grin and a smug look. The flames on the drone, which now had a blue tint, vanished and it flew off into the distance.

“How did—”

“I’m not stupid,” interrupted Oracle, “See that doesn’t feel nice does it?”

Acel sighed, the pain had faded but the memory of it was still fresh in her mind.

“What’s wrong with my powers?” she asked.

“You remember that tracker I told you about? It’s up here,” she said pointing to her head, “It’s got a built in accelerometer in it. Any time you go to fast, you get zapped. If you think it hurt last time, I can guarantee you won’t like it the next time.”

Acel stood up slowly, bullets falling out of her limbs as they repaired themselves.

“So, if I can’t use my speed and I don’t have my Aether shield, how am I supposed to get to the Warden’s office without becoming swiss cheese?” she complained.

“Just follow me,” she said walking outside of the storage unit and back out into the atrium.

Acel did as she was told and followed Oracle outside, greeted by an odd sight. The blue droid that Oracle lit on fire seemed to be firing on and destroying the other droids.

“The plan was to turn one of the machines against the others, and simply waltz into the warden’s office,” she explained condescendingly.

“Oh, sorry.”

“Well, I guess you received your punishment already. Come on then dear, we haven’t any time to waste.”

03: Cosmic Wall
Slowly, he stood up off the cold hard ground. His mind was foggy and he didn’t have the faintest idea of where he was. He seemed to be in some sort of garage, but there were only 2 cars, both strangely shaped with large treads. On the side of the wall it read, “AIRLOCK 2 B-E”, with a small warning under it that said something about putting a suit on before going outside.

“Airlock…Where the hell am I?” he wondered.

The young man figured that since he had no clue of where he was or why he was there that he should search around for clues. As he did so however, he realized that he could feel something under his jacket.

Unzipping it, he was surprised to find a black folder along with a black capsule strapped to his chest. Easily detaching the two items, he unzipped the files and read over them:

Target: Cecelia Q. Graves
Location: Phantom Supermax Penitentiary Sector 6 Block D Cell 66
Alias(es): Acel
Species: Half Demon
Age: [REDACTED]
Client: [REDACTED]
Authorization: Operator

Target is highly dangerous, approach with extreme caution. Upon encounter, inject with the serum provided and utilize the prison's escape pods to transport the target to HQ. Do not return upon failure.
The strange black file also contained multiple pictures of a tan blonde woman with violet eyes. She didn’t look like much of a threat, but he had never received a black file from the Operator before. If she thought that this Cecelia person was a threat, then it was safe to assume such as well.

The operative opened the capsule, revealing the syringe inside. It was quite large for a syringe, with a dangerously sharp looking needle jutting out of it. It also seemed to be filled with a silvery liquid that resembled mercury. It seemed to be some sort of tranquilizer, but it was nothing he had ever seen before.

That being said, he had never encountered a half demon before, so perhaps this would be the only way for him to take her down. He had met many powerful and exotic opponents as an agent of the wRHG, but this half-demon piqued his interest.

Flipping through the file, he found the map of the prison facility. On it was a small note with a four areas circled: a room labeled “Warden”, cell 66 in the D block, the airlock where he was, and the location of the escape pods. The note read:

The target's cell will be locked for obvious reasons. The cell can only be opened via the control panel located in the warden's office.

“Guess I can’t home without this girl,” the operative said, folding up Acel’s photo and the map and placing in his back pocket. He knew that she wouldn’t go down easy, but the mission seemed pretty straightforward.
================================================== =================================
The warden’s office was specious and well-furnished, resembling more of a luxury living area than a prison warden’s office. However, the room had long since been lived in as dust had collected everywhere and the air smelt stale and metallic. Oracle immediately headed over to the large computer consoles in the back of the office.

“This is the control center for the entire prison facility,” she reiterated, as her fingers danced over the keyboard.

“What kind of prison can be controlled with a single computer terminal?”

“A fully autonomous prison in space,” Oracle responded, pressing a single key on the keyboard that turned all the walls in the room transparent, revealing the desolate lifeless planet outside.

The sky was pitch-black and the only source of light was a huge bright star in the empty sky.

“There’s no stars…”

“This planet…this prison…our prison…It’s completely cut off from the universe you once knew. You see that bright light in the sky,” she said pointing towards it, “That’s the only way out of here. A wormhole that connects our universe and this one.”

“A wormhole…The Organization was experimenting with creating alternate universes, but they never got it to work. Fascinating…How do you know all of this Oracle?”

“How about we take care of that chip in your brain first?” she asked, dodging the previous question.

Oracle began typing away at the terminal again, clicking and dragging windows so fast that they seemed to blur the screen. A few minutes of technological wizardry she had finished.

“Alright, I’ve disabled all the droids in the facility and shut off the silent alarm. Also, they escape pods are ready for deployment and your tracker is disabled.”

“Awesome, let’s go then!” exclaimed Acel, anxious to use her speed once again.

“Hold on there, speed demon. The chip is still active and will continue to shock you until you leave the facility. Besides, the droids are down any way, what’s the rush?”

“Ok ok. But before we go, just tell me why you couldn’t have escaped on your own? You didn’t need me to get to the Warden’s office and you had were already out of your cell when I met you,” Acel asked suspiciously.

“Your right, I didn’t need your help to get here, but if you didn’t break out of your cell, I would still be stuck in mine. Our prison cells were connected, but your cell was designed to hold me in, not you.”

Confused, Acel asked Oracle to clarify, but she responded with a cryptic “All will be explained in due time”, and suggested that they could go over the details on the way out of the prison.

“I’ll get the door,” said Acel rushing to open it.
As she did, her blood went cold as she was greeted by a strange man with a blue symbol on his head. Although she could sense no demonic blood in him, she felt a strange energy emanating from him.

This wasn’t someone who could be trusted.
04: Crazy Gadget
The man in the door way was young, with dark brown hair, thick eyebrows and hazel eyes. He wasn’t that tall, but he towered over Acel’s five foot demeanor. Although, Acel could feel a menacing aura from the young man, he seemed calm and normal, except for the strange blue symbol on his head.

He fished a picture out of his back pocket, held it up, and spoke:

“Cecelia Q. Graves?” he asked.

“I prefer Acel. Who are you?”

“Luther Wright, Nice to meet you,” he said stoically, “I’m going to need you to come with me Cecelia.”

“We don’t have time for this, we need to get to the pod bay,” said Oracle, strangely Luther didn’t seem to hear her.

“Fat chance, Mr. Wright. I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

Acel sprinted towards Luther, catching him slightly off-guard as he didn’t expect such a bold move. When she was directly in front of him, Luther attempted a grab, but Acel side-stepped past him and bolted down the corridor. Although she couldn’t use her super speed, Acel was still as nimble as a fox.

Luther didn’t give chase though. Instead, he took a deep breath and focused his mind. If Acel had glanced backwards, she would have seen a strange white glow coming from Luther. When Acel was half way down the corridor headed towards the Atrium, Luther took his stance and punched the air. A loud shockwave of air blasted down the corridor slamming into the defenseless Acel.

Acel was thrown in the air, a bit shell-shocked by the powerful attack, but managed to land on her feet although she slid a couple of meters.

“Is that all yah got?”

“No,” responded Luther, now behind Acel. Instinctively, Acel ducked, avoiding Luther’s grapple, and counterattack with a spin kick to his head. He staggered a bit, but Acel knew that without her speed she couldn’t put any real power behind her attacks.

“So that’s what that feels like,” remarked Acel on Luther’s strange increase in speed. But she didn’t have time to fight with him, so she took off down the walkway to the second floor of the Atrium.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said slightly annoyed.

Luther stomped on the walkway, shaking the entire frame and leaving a huge dent in it. In a flash, he had completely disappeared.

“Sonic Ste—“

Luther elbowed Acel in the face, sending her flying off the railing and onto the floor of the Atrium.

“How can he be so fast?” she thought as she flew towards the ground.

She hit the floor hard, slamming into it and then sliding into the side of a storage container.

There’s got to be some way to stop him.

Luther leaped from the walkway to the ground floor. It was reckless, but the fall didn’t seem to faze him at all. Seeing this, Acel wove into the maze of storage containers in the atrium. If she didn’t lose him soon, there would be no way for her to take the escape pod out of the prison.

“Running’s not going to help!” yelled Luther, his annoyance evolving into agitation. His mark had lost its white glow, and now shown with a violet red, as he chased after Acel in this drawn out game of cat and mouse.

Acel had the advantage in the maze, because without his white glowing power, she could easily out pace Luther in the small spaces. Acel adopted a strategy of hit and run, trying to force Luther to give up out of sheer frustration. And for a moment, it seemed like Acel had him on the ropes.

She failed to notice that his mark had changed from a dull violet to a bright red. Caught up in her strategy, Acel approached him from behind and kicked Luther in the neck.

He didn’t flinch however, and he grabbed her leg and through her toward the side of a storage container. Agile like a cat, Acel managed to catch herself and land on her feet, but as soon as she did so, Luther struck her, sending her flying straight into a wall, denting its metal.

The punch was so powerful, that Acel coughed up blood. Luther pulled her out of the wall and held her up by the ponytail.

“You should’ve just listened to me.”

“No way in hell,” growled Acel, her eyes glowing with a bright gold shine.

Spinning midair, Acel slammed the back of her hand into Luther sending him flying across the atrium. Although she knew that she had to get to the pod bay, her demonic half called for blood.

Lifting up one of the storage containers with a single hand, Acel tossed it towards Luther, but he fired a strange red burst of energy that reduced the container to scrap metal.

Both enraged, the two fighters wailed on each other relentlessly. Although, Luther was faster than Acel, which would almost never be the case usually, he seemed to be the one taking more damage. However, he was the better fighter and he managed to catch Acel’s arm and pulled her into a head lock.

Acel snarled and roared like an animal, as she started to lose her sense of reason, but Luther had to neutralize her immediately. His veins glowed blue as his skin began to assault Acel with thousands of volts. She convulsed as the volts raced through her body and electrocuted her. In a few seconds, she was unconscious.

Luther let go of Acel, allowing her to fall to ground while he tried to calm himself down, his mark changing from a deep red to a dull azure.

Amazingly, Acel immediately regained consciousness, although she had reverted to her normal form. Noticing that Luther was busy meditating, Acel took off as fast as she could without setting off her tracking chip toward the corridor of the pod bay.

By the time, Luther noticed, Acel was already down the corridor and his mark immediately flash red.

“Damn Bitch!” he cursed, launching himself after her. He sped like a rocket in the air, tackling her down the hall way and pinning her down.

“You’re way too slippery for me to just catch,” he remarked, pulling out the tranquilizer syringe.

“I hate needles!”

“Too bad!”

Luther tried to inject her with the serum, but Acel grabbed his hand and pushed him back. Acel knew that she couldn’t hold him back for long though, his strength seemed to be increasing, while it took everything she had and more just to stay conscious.

But it was futile, with one more push, Luther had overpowered Acel, but she had luckily slid out of the way as he slammed the syringe into the ground. It exploded and stabbed him in the hand, the silvery substance entering his wounds.

The tranquilizer took effect almost immediately, Luther lost consciousness and fell on top of her.

“Well that was easy,” added the Oracle sarcastically, as he had appeared from nowhere once again.

Acel struggled to push Luther off her. She then stood up and brushed herself off.

“Yeah, easy…”

“Come on then, we don’t have all day.”

05: Cannon's Core
The pod bay was small and cold, empty of anything active, except for the tiny escape pod that was ready for docking.
“Oracle, How are we gonna both fit in that small little thing?”

Oracle starred at Acel, like a deer in headlights, “I’m the only one getting in the pod,” she replied nonchalantly.

“Hey! That wasn’t part of the deal!”
“We never had any deal,” she replied coldly, “I Just let you tag along.”

“Damn you!” Acel exclaimed, attempting attack Oracle, but for some reason she was completely immobilized.

Oracle sighed.

“I guess I owe you an explanation.”

“Just who are you anyway?” Acel asked, frustration lacing her voice.

Oracle chuckled a bit, “Don’t you get it yet? I’m your past and your future.”

“My past and future…Ok, you lost me.”

“Don’t think about it too hard, just know that our lives are connected by the red string of fate,” replied Oracle as she entered the escape pod.

“Wait, you’re just going to leave me here?!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll wake up soon.”

“Wake up? Am I dreaming?”

“Pinch yourself,” joked Oracle as she strapped into the pod and activated the engines.

Acel felt a sting as she pinched herself, this was no dream.

“At least tell me who imprisoned us!” yelled Acel over the engines.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Acel nodded in disagreement, she had no idea how the two of them would end up in an interdimensional space prison.

Oracle took a deep breath as the shuttle doors open and the pod began to launch.

“The Organization‼!”

Luther Wright (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?51544-Luther-Wright)wRHG Tournament: Round 1 Battle /// Battle vs. Acel (The organization)
Rochedan’s entry:

A short woman with curly red hairs stood in the corridor, holding a clipboard and pencil. Her posture was elegant but it was cloaked by the white doctor’s coat she was wearing. Underneath the coat Luther saw that she was pretty muscular for a doctor’s assistant, and the redness of her knuckles told Luther enough.
Luther knew she was looking for him between the other twenty patients that came to visit the ‘doctor’.
“Doctor Operator” Luther mumbled to himself.

Ever since Luther rejected to join the more prestige combat group, the Operator released some pressure on Luther, meaning he’d only have to do small or special assignments. The special ones mostly involved liquidation or rescue missions. He also gave Luther the opportunity to start living on his own. The Operator’s servants rented a room for Luther a few blocks away from one of the many wRHG corporations. This corporation happened to be partly inside an old hospital, where Luther happened to be now. He’d been waiting for almost half an hour amid other ‘patients’. Luther knew all these patients were in fact undercover agents or other special forces, working for the Operator.

Luther stood up from his uncomfortable chair and started approaching the woman. The woman squinted her eyes for a moment, Luther figured she was in need of some glasses. Three foot away from the woman, Luther stopped and smiled awkwardly.
The woman looked on her clipboard, flipped some pages and then looked up again. As expected she looked at Luther’s forehead first, Luther assumed he was mostly recognized by his mark. This wasn’t a bad thing, he could understand it, but it also made him feel uncomfortable.
“Luther Wright?”, the woman asked business-like. Luther nodded. The woman turned around and started walking towards another corridor. While walking she waved with her clipboard as a sign that he should follow her.
Looking at the woman´s curves, Luther suddenly recognized her. It was one of Luther´s close-combat fighting mentors. She was famous in the corporation for her fighting technique and of course, her incredible posterior.
Luther didn’t bother to ask her what she was doing as a doctor’s assistant and why the Operator was in need of the best close-combat fighter to be his assistant. She'd probably lie to him or simply ignore him. She’d been Luther’s best mentor but also the most emotionless one.
The woman suddenly stopped and turned towards a heavy wooden door at her right. Luther was still deep in this own thoughts and would have bumped into her if she didn’t push Luther’s chest. Stumbling a few steps back Luther supressed his pain and rubbed over his chest with his right hand. He now also remembered she was one of the strongest inside the corporation.
The woman smirked towards Luther and knocked on the door. After a few seconds she opened the door and held it open for Luther. The two fighters underneath the doorpost was a tight fit.
As Luther passed the woman underneath the doorpost an elbow hit Luther’s stomach, but he had been expecting it and his tensed abs absorbed the impact.
“Working out haven’t you?”, the woman grinned.
Quickly Luther turned around and dodged another elbow aimed at his stomach. This time he managed to grab the elbow and push the woman towards the corridor. She stumbled for a few steps but regained her elegant posture within seconds. “Nice one”, the woman sounded disappointed. But Luther knew better, quickly closed the door as she charged at Luther again. A muffled bump confirmed what Luther had been thinking. “The elbow charge”, he mumbled to himself.
“Don’t mind Bellatrix, Luther. She’s been eager to do that for over a week now. The way you grabbed her elbow, impressive…” a monotone voice spoke.

The conflict with Luther’s old mentor made him totally forget who he was meeting. The Operator again sat in a big red chair, not facing Luther but the note board in front of him. Luther saw multiple pictures of what looked like prison cells and multiple photos of inmates holding up their prison number.
The Operator turned around in his big red chair, now facing Luther. “I hope you understand why you are here Luther? Please sit down”.
Luther did as he was told, grabbed a small chair and sat down in front of the Operator. He looked straight into the Operators red eyes. He could see the white teeth of the Operator as he spoke: “Luther, I have a special assignment for you”.
The way the Operator intonated the word ‘special’, made Luther feel uncomfortable.


After a good night’s rest, Luther felt ready and pretty eager to start with his new job. At first the mystery that cloaked the entire mission annoyed Luther, he felt tricked and uncomfortable. But this morning he felt entirely opposite, as if somebody had turned some sort of button inside his head. On his way to the science-wing of the wRHG facility, Luther overthought the previous night of planning and brainstorming.
Luther thought he did pretty well assembling his team of experts. His team consists of four members Luther included:

A scout, named Robert B-P, still a youngling but older than Luther. B-P (nickname) joined the wRHG corporation not long ago and was still a rookie amongst the others, but Luther had seen his sneaking and scouting skills to know that he would be needed on a mission like this.
The second member of his team, a former EOD-member and IIED specialist, named Martin. Luther didn’t know Martin that well, but the Operator ensured Luther that Martin would be a good addition to the team. Luther never questioned the Operator.
The third member was an expert gunslinger, named John W. H.. Getting the fastest time inside The Pitt, Luther knew Wes (as his friends call him) would be a good addition to his team.
“Yeah, it’s going to be a piece of cake”, Luther mumbled to himself as he pushed the metal door leading towards a corridor, which in turn leaded towards the science wing.
“What did you say?”. The voice surprised Luther and before Luther knew it he pinned the individual against the metallic wall. “Calm down man, it’s me, I didn’t mean to surprise you!”. Luther now recognized the individual, it was B-P, the scout. Quickly he removed this elbow from the man’s throat which pinned him against the wall.
“I’m sorry B-P, you really had me this time, I shouldn’t have done that. It’s the Roch I guess, it keeps my reflexes at max” Luther explained.
B-P rubbed his throat and straightened his camouflage jacket, then said: “It’s alright sir, maybe I shouldn’t have put on my high-tech boots, they’re designed to sneak, perhaps it wasn’t entirely your fault after all”.
The still young face of B-P made Luther forgive the attitude the grunt just gave Luther, but Luther knew the rookie was right.
Luther made a small growl to confirm B-P’s statement and proceeded towards the science wing. B-P was still walking behind Luther, but he heard no footsteps, only a few coughs and snorts made Luther aware that B-P was still behind him. I’m going to ask for boots like that, Luther thought to himself.
Upon opening two heavy metal doors leading towards the science wing, Luther’s ears got overwhelmed by multiple electric beeping sounds and vacuum-like noises. The room was relatively small, the ceiling was about 7 feet high, which gave Luther the feeling he was inside a box. On both his sides stood electric devices with multiple buttons and flickering lights. A corridor lead towards a small open area filled with some scientist and one mysterious device. Luther saw B-P was already standing amongst a group of scientist, talking to Martin the bomb-expert. “then who is walking behind me?”, Luther asked himself out loud “probably We—“, a friendly punch to his shoulder confirmed his thoughts.
“come on Luther, you’ve been tricked twice already, maybe B-P should be in charge of this mission man” Wes joked behind him. Luther grinned and shook his head.
The small open area at the end of the corridor was actually some sort of metal platform, surrounded by multiple metallic bars with blue flickering lights. Above the platform, coming from the roof, hang a big metal bulb, also flickering blue, but more intensely than the metal bars. Luther saw his team members were also impressed by the electric devices. Wes was still behind Luther, polishing his biggest revolver with a small white cotton handkerchief. The other revolver was still inside it’s leather holster, this revolver was smaller, but made from some sort of orange/brown metal, Luther figured it was made of copper, maybe bronze. Wes was the tallest of the team, almost reaching the ceiling with his old-fashioned cowboy hat. His wide jaw and small beard gave the expression one was ought not to mess with him.

Scattered across the platform stood multiple scientist with distinctive white coats, checking and observing the metal bars and the big light bulb above the platform. Suddenly all of the scientist went quiet and glanced at one of the corridors.
“Where’s my team!”, a monotone voice spoke loud and clear.
The Operator was still wearing his doctor’s coat, but now also wore shades and black leather gloves, his face didn’t show any emotion, only his posture showed his strong character.

Luther hadn’t noticed all of the scientist had left the platform, only his fellow members stood next to him. Wes on his left, B-P on his right, and somewhat behind him stood Martin, still busy with his explosive equipment. Martin was wearing a hat which hided his brown moustache as he was digging through his big military backpack.

“Martin, get in line”, Luther spoke sternly. Martin’s blue eyes met Luther’s forehead and Luther could see a red shimmer in Martin’s eyes.
“Calm down Luther, your mark is somewhat glowing”, B-P whispered.
Luther held his hand in front of his forehead, B-P was right, but the weird thing was that Luther wasn’t even enraged, barely mad.
“Interesting…”, the Operator observer Luther for a moment, then quickly started pacing up and down in front Luther and his team.

“Gentlemen, this mission will be extremely classified. Which is the reason only Luther and myself know what the exact mission location will be. Well, follow Luther’s commands and come back safe, it’s been a while since we heard from the Prison Colony...” the last few words were almost whispered, as if the Operator was talking to himself instead of Luther and his team. Luther was pretty sure he heard something he’d rather not have heard. Raised eyebrows from both Wes and Martin confirmed that they’d also heard it. B-P seemed strangely quiet.
“Alright, enough chit-chat. Let’s talk about how we’re getting there”, the Operator made a gesture toward a group of scientist, briefly a younger scientist came running with in his hand a clipboard with multiple documents.
Luther immediately recognized the documents. He left these in the hospital as he participated in his second Gladiator Tournament, but did not remember passing them to the Operator.

“These documents”, the Operator waved with the documents in his hands, “revealed to us, how to build a device”, the Operator made a gesture towards the platform Luther and his team were standing on, “which is able to teleport to other times and space”.
B-P’s mouth fell open wide, so did Martin’s. Wes kept his cool, but frowned a little more than usual. The Operator continued: “I will spare to you the science behind the device, but there’s one very important thing you need to understand. Your mission will take place about five or more years in the past, these are rough estimations. Also, which might be even more important, you only have ONE chance to teleport back to this time and space, in order to do that I gave Martin a device which is able to connect to ours and teleport ONCE”. Luther shivered every time the Operator intonated one of his words.

Martin began digging through his enormous backpack again. His head was almost as red as a tomato. “It’s in the front pocket Martin”, the Operator spoke monotone.
“Of-course”, Martin mumbled and grabbed a small device from the front pocket of his backpack. The device was small and only consisted of two buttons. Luther knew how it worked. The upper button was to make connection to the platform and the lower was to initiate the teleport frequency, giving the team a small 10 seconds to prepare for teleport.

Being distracted by Martin, Luther hadn’t noticed the Operator stepped away from the platform and now stood next to a handle.
“Good luck”, The operator grinned and pressed the handle down.


A darkness closed in on Luther, the air was so dense he couldn´t breathe nor see. Luther didn´t have the feeling he was still standing on something, completely disorientated he quickly shut his eyes and covered his ears with both of his hands while pressing his elbows against each other in front of his face. He heard sounds of people gasping for air. Just when Luther was about to go into a state of panic the darkness broke and Luther´s feet touched ground. The sudden impact made Luther fall on his knees. Quickly Luther opened his eyes and looked around him, it was shimmering, but he didn't know whether the sun was going down or coming up, hell he didn't even know if there was ssun. Wes, Martin and B-P all lay on the ground. Wes quickly stood up, so did B-P. Martin had more struggles with his backpack before standing up. They were standing in the centre of a dark and deserted basketball field. the vague silhouettes of litter across the field gave the impression the field wasn’t maintained or used for a rather long time. The field was surrounded by three buildings. The biggest one was three floors high. They all were surrounded by incredible high fences, all of the fences were covered with a thick layer of barbed wire. We’re in a prison alright… Luther thought to himself.

“Damn! I almost lost the device that can take us back home!”, Martin laughed, but it sounded rather forced. Wes grumbled and B-P laughed along nervously.
“Alright guys, I say we find some sort of map that covers the entire prison area. The Operator told me we needed to be in sector D-666”, Luther paused for a little while, and observed his team. B-P looked pretty nervous, but also eager to do something. Martin was still attaching his huge backpack to himself and looked completely occupied by doing so. Wes was casually smoking a cigarette with his right hand, but his left hand was constantly checking the guns on his leather belt, which showed he was uncomfortable.
“Any suggestions where we could look for a map?”, Luther asked firmly.
“I could check out the two smaller buildings on my own, I think I could do that”, B-P nodded to himself while speaking calm.
“Are you sure kid?”, Wes responded.
“Yeah Wes, you saw how I sneaked up on Luther”, a small blush showed on B-P cheek as Luther frowned towards him.
“Alright, Wes, Martin, follow me, let’s check out the big building. B-P meet us on the top floor of the big building in about an hour”. Luther waited for a response.
“B-P?”, Luther looked behind him only to see B-P rushing towards the smallest building which only had one floor. “show-off..”, Luther grinned. Wes and Martin laughed, but still kept a low-profile because of their unknown surroundings.
“Alright let’s go guys, I’ll take the lead”, Luther said while walking at a brief pace towards the entrance of the tallest building.
The entrance doors screaked loudly and echoed through the entire building. The place seemed deserted with litter across the entire entrance hall. The room reminded Luther of the old hospital, the walls were white and the ceiling low. A few markings on the walls indicated the departments of the building, along with a small map.
Wes took a short look at the map and then said: “The ground, first and second floor contain mostly prison cells and security chambers, the third floor however is staff-only”.
“I suggest we head there”, Martin quickly responded, “I suppose we won’t find a map in the prison cells nor the security chambers”. Luther nodded and looked at the signs again, the elevator probably wasn’t working. Even if it did work, Luther wouldn’t let the mission get compromised by getting stuck in an elevator. The sign showing stairs pointed towards a small corridor leading towards a metal door with a ‘fire-escape’ sign above it.
“Follow me”, Luther said with a low-voice. Even though he was pretty sure there was nobody around, the place still made him feel uncomfortable. As if there were things luring in the dark.
“ye-“ Wes responded, and a soft “let’s go”, sounded from Martin’s position.
The corridor had multiple side rooms, some of the doors were open, showing office tables covered in litter. Luther swore he saw somebody standing in one of the room when he quickly glanced inside when he passed the open door. But after checking again it was just a coat and hat.
“This place is creeping me out”, Martin whispered upon reaching the metal door which leads towards the staircase.
The exact moment Martin finished his sentence multiple footsteps came from the other end of the corridor.
“We’ve got company---“, a high-pitched voice rasped through the corridor and made Luther’s neck hair stand up. “Get ‘em!”. The footsteps turned into a chaos of echoes and sounds that reflected against the corridors walls. Luther couldn’t see anybody but he knew there were more enemies than he could keep off Wes and Martin.
“Go go go!”, Luther kicked the door with a quick straight kick in the middle, the door flipped open and banged loudly against the wall, “Don’t just stand there, MOVE!”. Wes and Martin rushed upstairs and Luther followed.
“Who the hell are they!”, Martin shouted in fear, his backpack made clinging and rambling sounds as he rushed up the stairs.
Wes was already holding both his revolvers and ran up the stairs while holding them both pointed towards the ceiling. “I have no idea” Wes responded, “but let’s not find out shall we! Martin blow up some of these damn stairs behind us, maybe that will slow them down!”.
Luther was impressed by the improvisation of Wes, but he had no time to approve the plan or not. A loud bang below followed by a stroke of heat and dust made Luther stumble and almost trip.
“I’m thinking way ahead of you buddy!”, Martin laughed towards Wes, but his face told he was still scared.
“Third floor! Let’s go!” Luther shouted as he passed Martin and Wes. The staircase was filled with smoke by the time they reached the upper floor. Another metal door barred their way towards the staff-only area. But without much resistance Luther managed to break it open with just a few kicks and punches. “Alright, I think we bought some time with that explosion, but let’s not waste any more. Wes, you check the cafeteria. Martin you check the lounge. I’ll check the offices and the bathrooms, let’s go!”. Luther hadn’t finished speaking or Wes and Martin were already sprinting towards the area’s they were told to go.
I sure picked the right team, Luther thought to himself.
There wasn’t much interesting inside the bathroom, other than some bullet cases and ripped clothing. The offices however contained small safes. They were easy enough to crack open by just punching them. Most were empty or only contained bullets and guns. The last safe however contained multiple files and documents about a so called prisoner called ‘Cecelia Q. Graves’. Most of them were unreadable because on each page stood three number ‘666’ written with red ink. What are the odds… Luther thought.

One page caught Luther’s eye just when he wanted to put away the documents. It said: “Area D-666 – occupied by prisoner Cecelia Q. Graves, highest security level, extremely dangerous”. Along with the file Luther found multiple pictures of a woman with blonde hair undergoing a surgery involving some kind of chip and her head. Luther’s stomach turned itself and soon Luther put away the pictures. Footsteps behind him made Luther jump up and raise his fists, just to see Martin and Wes approaching him.
“There you are, did you find a map?”, Luther asked hopeful.
Martin and Wes both looked disappointed and Wes responded: “We hoped you found one”.
Luther sighed, and said: “Well I did find our mission objective, but I still don’t know how the hell we’re going to get there. Let’s try and find B-----“. Luther got interrupted by another individual behind Wes and Martin.
“That won’t be necessary sir, I found a map, let’s finish this and get the hell out of here!”
B-P’s voice still sounded eager, but from the deep breaths between his words Luther knew the kid was exhausted.
“Good job kid, alright, Martin, take a look at the map, area D-666 should be on there”.
B-P quickly gave Martin the map and sat down on the ground with his arms around his knees, he looked pale.
Martin quickly spread out the map and started following lines with his finger. Wes approached B-P and kneeled down next to him. “Kid, I don’t know how fast you did this, but it’s incredible and you deserve your honour when we get back”. B-P didn’t respond immediately, he just stared in front of him, then said: “These people, why--- why did they do that? I mean, the girl, it was--- “. His voice got interrupted by Martin shouting: “Found it!”. The exact moment Martin shouted the sound of electric pulses going through the entire building filled their ears.
“Martin for god’s sake, can’t you be a little more quiet!” Luther said furiously, his arm covering his eyes to protect them from the sudden brightness caused by multiple light turning on.
“I’m sorry Luther, I got excited. We need to take the elevator to the basement so I guess we are also lucky”, martin laughed but the strict face of Luther wiped the smile off his face.

“Elevator…. Elevator…”, Luther and Wes both looked around to find any signs of an elevator or the grey metal doors themselves.
“Found it!”, Martin shouted as he pressed the elevator-call button. The doors opened, but simultaneously a vent in the ceiling opened. A machine gun mounted to a metal plate started revealing itself. “Martin! GET DOWN!” the scream of B-P filled the air “GET IN THE ELEVATOR!”.

Luther standing closest to Martin, leaped towards him just when the machine gun started firing, a muffled explosion followed. At the moment of impact Luther turned his back towards the machine gun, knowing he could take bullets and Martin could not. Two other louder shots were also fired, and soon after another muffled explosion and the sound of metal hitting the ground.

“That was close, a few more sec----”, Wes spoke enthusiastic but closed his mouth upon entering the elevator where Luther and Martin were laying inside. Luther was still lying on top of Martin. A warm fluid soaked Luther’s forearm which was around Martin’s backpack.
“no—no! NO!”, B-P’s voice rasped through the air as he tossed Luther off Martin. Luther stood up and looked down on what once was Martin. The entire backpack was torched black. Martin’s entire lower body had been removed and his legs lay lifeless in a corner of the elevator. B-P was still bend over Martin’s upper body, Luther saw how the kid closed Martin’s eyes.
“There’s nothing to do about it kid, he died by his own foolishness”, Luther said without thinking about his words. Furious B-P stood up and looked at Luther. His eyes filled with tears but his face stood aggressive and angry. “You’re are one heartless son-of-a-bitch Luther, do you know that!” he shouted.
“calm down B-P”, Wes tried to settle things down, but it only made it worse.
“You’re a monster Luther, created by the wRHG and following the Operator’s missions without any hesitation!”, B-P’s voice echoed through the elevator shaft.
Luther looked at Wes. Wes hung his head and covered his eyes with his cowboy hat. B-P still stood angry next to Martin’s lifeless body. “There I said it, I said what everybody thinks about you Luther, you’re nothing but a monster, a- a – Frankenstein!”.

Luther wasn’t sure what happened next. All he knew was that something inside of him twisted, curled, lured Luther inside and managed to break through. The remorse, the anger, the pity, it pushed Luther inside his own mind and darkness collapsed as a weight on top of him. Seconds passed. Not a single word was uttered. Then the grief came back, the feeling of satisfaction, the feeling of anger.
A face met the palm of Luther’s hand, it was warm, then turned moist as Luther’s fingers clamped themselves. Two bright flashes, the impact in Luther’s skin felt comfortable, the feeling of triumph filled his head as a face crumbled underneath his combat boots. Then there was a shout, fear, remorse. The darkness fell of Luther and he managed to break free, he managed to escape from the darkness. A glimpse of light, flickering in the dark. An explosion of light. And there he was, back in the elevator. Three lifeless corpses lay on the ground. Luther knew what had happened. He blacked out and killed the remaining members of his team. In Luther’s hand was the device.
Luther fell on his knees which immediately were drenched with blood.
What have I done, the Roch, it made me do this --- the emotion I couldn’t help it…Wes, B-P, oh god B-P. What have I done. They didn’t die in vain, I’ll tell the Operator they died heroic, I will lie, it’s going to be alright, just finish the mission.
Luther got scared of his own thoughts. They were already accepting the fact that he’d just slain all of his remaining team members. Maybe B-P was right, maybe he was in fact a monster, controlled and created by the Operator and his team of scientist.
A blue glow coming from Luther’s mark turned the blood of Luther’s victims purple.

Filled with grief Luther stood up and pressed the button which would make the elevator go towards the basement.
“Cecelia Q. Graves, here comes the monster” Luther smirked.





A loud ping confirmed that Luther had reached his destination. And hopefully his last. The opened elevator doors showed a narrow corridor leading towards a small single wooden door. 666 was written on the door with, what Luther hoped it was, red paint.
The walls of the corridor were made of common bricks but the ceiling was still white and made of metal. On the white ceiling there was a text written. “Devil came through here”.
The floor was miraculously carpeted and muffled the sounds of Luther’s footsteps as he approached the door. The door didn’t have a doorknob. But that didn’t stop Luther from entering. Swiftly Luther started punching against the wood. Luther was happy to hear it break by the force of his fists, it however took multiple punches to create a hole big enough for Luther to crawl through.

The room was dark and the air was foul and reeked of blood and smoke. The ground was mostly covered with hay with here and there plates with red substances lying on top of them. The was also a double trail of skulls, leading towards a big cross at the end of the room. Although the room was pretty dark, the few candles that were burning along the trail of skulls showed the silhouette of a individual chained to the cross.
As if in a dream Luther followed the trail of skulls. The air became thinner and less foul once he reached the cross. Luther couldn’t believe his eyes, there was a disemboweled man chained against the cross. His intestines were spread across the hay, and Luther now knew what actually was the red substance that lay on the plates he saw earlier. Luther bend over as his stomach emptied itself.
“I-I-is someone there?”, a woman’s voice came from a dark corner just a few feet from the disemboweled man. Luther spit out the remaining puke in his mouth and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Don’t be afraid, I’m not here to hurt you”, Luther responded as fast as he could.
“Please, please help me!”, the woman’s voice shouted again “they are coming!”. Luther looked behind him towards the wooden door he had barged through. Multiple individuals holding candles slowly approached Luther and the woman.
Remembering the device was still in his hand Luther quickly sprinted towards the woman and clicked the upper button.
The woman was also chained, but didn’t show any sign of injury only signs of lack of food and hygiene. Luther immediately recognized the woman from the pictures. “Cecelia, Cecelia, you are Cecelia right!”, Luther spoke frustrated, his mind was blurring and all his hope now lay on the device he was holding. A small beep confirmed that the connection was made.
The woman smiled at Luther and didn’t seem panicked at all.
“Yes! Yes I am, take me away from here Luther, they are coming" the woman screamed.

Luther looked behind him, the individuals were all wearing cloaks, their head covered and each of them holding a lantern with flickering flames inside of them. A individual stepped forward, only a few feet away from Luther and revealed his face. It was the face of an old bald man. Luther didn’t hesitate and pressed the lower button of the device, it started counting down with a monotone voice. 10...
The bald man stepped forward, an old voice rasped through the air: “The skull of each men lies inside this room Luther”. 9…
“I saw what you did to your team, such a shame”. 8…
7… “don’t listen to him Luther” the woman sounded frustrated and clamped against Luther’s chest. 6…
5… The bald man continued: “This room is for one evil, and one saint”. 4…
“SHUT UP!” Cecilia’s voice started sounding heavy and low-pitched, “MAKE HIM SHUT UP!”, frustrated Cecilia tried to push Luther towards the bald man, but the chain kept her from stretching her arms and actually pushing. 3…
Luther had no idea what was going on, the scent of blood and smoke totally blurred his mind he was using his last energy to hold Cecelia and focused on the monotone voice of the device. 2… Almost out of this hell-hole. 1…
The last thing Luther heard was the last sentence of the bald man:
“One will perish and the other will faint”. 0…Note: Rochedan's original entry is from GoogleDocs. The formatting here fucked up whatever order the original has. Click here for the original formatting. (https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B9ClkepoTIpkX1ZhbERWSVhHS2c/edit?usp=sharing)


Vote fairly!

Rochedan
07-10-2013, 03:45 AM
Cool, cool cool cool.
The google doc link doesn't work for me. But it doesn't really matter, the forum one only makes it look more `piled up`.

Damn I read your story The Organization. I won't say anything about it now though, maybe when the voting´s finishes.
There´s one thing though.... what was the red beam Luther used to destroy the storage container that Acel threw at him (or maybe I just read that part wrong).

The Organization
07-10-2013, 03:52 AM
Cool, cool cool cool.
The google doc link doesn't work for me. But it doesn't really matter, the forum one only makes it look more `piled up`.

Damn I read your story The Organization. I won't say anything about it now though, maybe when the voting´s finishes.
There´s one thing though.... what was the red beam Luther used to destroy the storage container that Acel threw at him (or maybe I just read that part wrong).
Enraged form energy burst/Red Breath b/c at that point I figured he wasn't hurt enough to use the electrical discharge thing

Rochedan
07-10-2013, 05:29 AM
Enraged form energy burst/Red Breath b/c at that point I figured he wasn't hurt enough to use the electrical discharge thing

Alright, well. Luther isn't able to do anything `enraged-energy´ related unless he is severely wounded and enraged (almost dead). Which is only the electrical discharge.
Well I guess this move is actually pretty cool so I might add it to my abilities list :)

saintmccaw
07-11-2013, 02:19 PM
Right off the bat, let me just say my vote goes to The Organization,

To the both of you.. This was an AWESOME battle, because they got (in my opinion) two of the best writers on the forum against each other. Both of your stories were completely fantastic, even with Rochedan's form alittle messed up (I really don't give a damn about spaces and stuff so it didn't quite bother me.) Choosing whose was better was alittle hard, but I thought my decision was clear after giving both a hard look.

Organization: Your story was really cool, with the introduction of the Oracle aswell as the wormhole and seperate universes... it was pretty damn awesome and added alot to your story and gave you some new plot elements. I saw that you both injected different elements into your story, and to be honest that is what made my vote really damn hard. Your story was great, but afew things, such as the very first sentence when she is trying to get out of the chains and realizes what is going on felt very rushed and bumpy to me. Luckily, the rest of the story had a good flow and went smoothly but it made me uneasy to think of how the rest of the story would be. I also felt that some of the conversations between Oracle and Acel were abit odd and felt heavy handed to me, and just gave me a weird feeling whenever I started to read it. Your story was still good, and that is why I voted for you.

Rochedan: Your story was pretty good too, I liked your plot alot and was almost in a trance while reading it. You really caught my attention. However, I felt as if the conversation with the Operator and Bellatrix was awkward in phrasing and simply conversation. To be fair, I thought you still kept to their character but it seemed as if you were really forcing their character and bordering on redundant with how they acted, making them seem almost one dimensional. Your story was great, but for some reason I just preferred the Organization.

Rochedan
07-11-2013, 02:24 PM
forcing their character and bordering on redundant with how they acted, making them seem almost one dimensional.

Could you please elaborate on that, not necessarily in this thread you can also PM if you want. Thanks for your CnC, and to be honest I already felt I was going to loose when I read my story a second time, I kind of rushed it to get the early bird bonus, I thought one could only get the bonus if they were the very first one to post their entry, and not just between me and The Organisation.

saintmccaw
07-11-2013, 02:57 PM
Could you please elaborate on that, not necessarily in this thread you can also PM if you want. Thanks for your CnC, and to be honest I already felt I was going to loose when I read my story a second time, I kind of rushed it to get the early bird bonus, I thought one could only get the bonus if they were the very first one to post their entry, and not just between me and The Organisation.

When Bellatrix was pushed, and she immediately regained her elegant posture within seconds. Not just with this, but with certain characters personalities stayed rigid, and if they explored their character it seemed alittle cliche. I'm not trying to bust your balls, but I feel that if you hadn't tried to get the early bird bonus then you could've expanded your story abit more and scored my vote.

Rochedan
07-11-2013, 03:10 PM
When Bellatrix was pushed, and she immediately regained her elegant posture within seconds. Not just with this, but with certain characters personalities stayed rigid, and if they explored their character it seemed alittle cliche. I'm not trying to bust your balls, but I feel that if you hadn't tried to get the early bird bonus then you could've expanded your story abit more and scored my vote.

Yep, I misinterpreted the Early Bird bonus :P such a shame really. I Actually intended to expand the small things but I was simply too paranoid about the bonus I guess.
But anyway, I still aspect about 10 people to vote so we'll see. Thanks for your CnC again I will use this in the future.
I also CnC on your entry, and after reading your entry your words about 'me needing to expand things more' got kind of ironic :)

saintmccaw
07-11-2013, 05:24 PM
Yep, I misinterpreted the Early Bird bonus :P such a shame really. I Actually intended to expand the small things but I was simply too paranoid about the bonus I guess.
But anyway, I still aspect about 10 people to vote so we'll see. Thanks for your CnC again I will use this in the future.
I also CnC on your entry, and after reading your entry your words about 'me needing to expand things more' got kind of ironic :)

To be completely honest? I rushed like hell to get the early bird bonus, and as soon as I was finished I posted it. xP

The Organization
07-13-2013, 02:33 PM
I'm wondering if anyone actually understood who Oracle actually was, she was meant to be weird on purpose
but her character was very experimental
@Rochedan How well did I portray Luther in my story, personality wise.
Obviously I'm not voting, but:
IMO I feel like Acel had such little presence in your story that she didn't really seem that significant, and I couldn't really tell if she was my character. Luther barely met Cecelia for more than a minute. Although, its your story, I felt like Cecelia should have had a stronger role.
@Everyone else for those who have voted or haven't yet I would appreciate more CnC. While saintmccaw's input is good, it alone is not sufficient enough for me and Rochedan to make significant improvements in our skills.

ErrorBlender
07-14-2013, 02:50 AM
I hope my CnC would help.

The Organization:
Your work flowed nicely, the twist in Oracle's actual origin kept me wondering until the end even when she said she was both past and future of Acel. The battle was quick but with nice content.

Rochedan:
Your entry had a great back story but the you made Acel's appearance very low in your part. I felt little presence from her. The story was good though.

Both of you had different takes on the prison colony, which gave the readers different views. I especially liked The Organization's interpretation of the Prison Colony and his small twist in Oracle's true identity. Rochedan had a good buildup, he had a team and I was really looking forward for an awesome four on one battle but in the end it seemed a but rushed for me and it let me down. Both works are good in my opinion and The Organization just gripped my attention more than Rochedan's. So, I give my vote to the Organization.

Rochedan
07-14-2013, 04:47 AM
@the organization
Yeah, well in fact it wasn't Acel, it was just her demonic self. I suppose that wasn't so obvious for you guys to understand. The portal took Luther and his team 5 years back. 5 years back, Acel location was still unknown, so I tried to make some sort of mysterious background for those 5 years. What would happen after Luther took her in with the Operator? What did they do to her? Well, I suppose I should've made that more clear from my story, since you didn't speak about that.

@errorblender.
yeah, most people expect a big battle between the two gladiators. I will do that next time because people seem to like a good fight more than a good buildup/background story

ErrorBlender
07-14-2013, 06:23 AM
@errorblender.
yeah, most people expect a big battle between the two gladiators. I will do that next time because people seem to like a good fight more than a good buildup/background story

To me, You should have both of them. A good buildup and back story coupled with the battle. Its called a wRHG Battle for a reason but the 'w' is not to be forgotten. Written makes it a story. It should have a story in my opinion and yours had oodles of it. You just lacked a bit more combat, I suppose.

The Strongest
07-15-2013, 01:31 AM
Vote went to The Organization.

I think that both entries could have benefited from at a second, slow read, because there were a lot of typos that interrupted the flow of the story, and so both of them were rough reads where I don't believe that was the intent. The biggest reason I ended up voting for The Organization was, in addition to being the smoother read, the fact that that entry seemed to follow my expectation of what was to be happening best. Not just the lack of a big battle, but I felt that your focus was off the mark.

Luther's entire sequence seemed to be buildup for his ante, and Acel received a token role. Not sure if "took a backseat" is quite appropriate, considering I feel more like she was actually stuck in the trunk of this metaphoric vehicle. You mentioned her...not enough, I think. As a piece without any expectations, I liked it, but you seem to have ignored the whole of what the Round 1 thread, to me at least, explicitl, where each Gladiator is sent to an arena for battle via giant teleporter ray.

Rochedan
07-15-2013, 03:46 AM
Gladiator is sent to an arena for battle via giant teleporter ray.

Yeah, I don´t think I read anything about this. I think this was added after I started writing my story which was like two hours after the bracket was up...

The Organization
07-15-2013, 07:24 AM
Yeah, I don´t think I read anything about this. I think this was added after I started writing my story which was like two hours after the bracket was up...

To be honest, I was still working on my setting when you submitted your entry, I was kind of shocked.

also if you were using a younger Acel, the one at 18 years old before she joined the organization, you could've turned it into a origin story of how she joined or something. I had the Organization hire the wRHG company in the future to capture Acel. The younger Acel is less trustworthy and more silent than the one most commonly seen. In the personality section, it describes her as aloof and antisocial, so its unlikely she would even talk to Luther let alone ask for his help. Adding or hinting at the Organization being the client would've worked in your favor as well.
But essentially here's my thinking. Afterword:
I interpreted the setting as Acel being in Jail and Luther being sent there for some reason having to fight her. I reasoned that if Acel was going to be in jail then someone would have to go through considerable effort to do so b/c her demon powers can break through almost anything. I also had to create a situation where she would have absolutely no gear. The prison world in the phantom zone came from the idea that the Host would transfer Luther and Cecelia's consciousness to the prison, but since Acel was already in the prison she didn't simply appear there like Luther did.
Furthermore, if Acel was imprisoned why would she be in a cell that she could break out of. So I created Oracle, she represents the Acel of the future and her name isn't Cecelia but I don't want to ruin the suprise so I just call her Oracle.

Acel had always multiple personalities, but unlike most wRHG's she is not aware of it and she typically can't switch willy nilly. The prison cell was designed with Oracle in mind, because she actually has different powers than Cecelia despite being the same person. In fact, Oracle is allowing Cecelia to control her body, b/c she has seen all of it before having Cecelia's memories. Anytime Cecelia sees Oracle, it is an illusion made up by Oracle to make Cecelia think that she was Acel. This is why Luther never even acknowledges Oracle, why Oracle never uses her powers against Luther, and why she didn't "abandon" Cecelia despite the fact that Cecelia's powerset was basically useless in the prison. This is also how Oracle knew about everything in the prison and why Cecelia is unable to move at the end of the story. Oracle retook control of her body, while Cecelia's consciousness remained there with Luther. This is also an illusion by Oracle.
I left the intro to be ambigous b/c I did not want Cecelia to remember about the tournament. Since Oracle has all of Cecelia's memories, its implied that after returning to her own time period, Cecelia will regain her memory of the Tournament.
Its important to note that Cecelia isn't actually Acel's true personality, Oracle is. Cecelia is just the default one that resulted from the growth of her humanity when she was in the Organization

Rochedan
07-15-2013, 03:09 PM
@The organization

We differ a lot about how we write our stories. I like to just start writing and decide what to do while I'm writing it.
My sort of plot about Cecilia was that while she was imprisoned she was fully demon, her "good" side/human side hadn't developed yet.
How did she know Luther's name in the first place? Why was she so eager to go with him?
I left a lot for the readers own interpretation but I suppose that kind of failed.