View Full Version : Arvine vs Cyber virus (The correct one, don't I feel like an idiot)

07-27-2013, 08:50 PM

Chasing People Apart

“Not bad, kid.”
A slight whisper entered the mind of a young boy, sitting in the bar of Little Duckling. The voice of the warrior Hercan echoed through his mind. His bloody, red cloak was torn up by the foot of Tenor’s soldier. And that ended his no-killing spree. “How I hate that time when I raged”, thought the boy, wandering in his fragmental memoirs of his father’s friend.

Now he is currently sitting with comfort, smiling, waiting for his order. Then a hard stuff was placed in front of him. It was a vodka with raspberry juice, hinted with gin and some small ice. Although it looks like a normal syrup with soda, it can teach someone who isn’t prepared yet. Once he saw a drunk person who snatches away the drink from him. And drink it.

The result are not good. With a capital O.
First, the man stumbled, and dropped dead. Then he is having continuous seizure. He rises up with one leg, like a zombie from the dead. Then he is having another seizure again. Then another. And with a coup de grace, he vomits out of blood to the ground, dropping dead.

Only for people to realize that it isn’t blood. It’s the red drink that he drank.

Now coming back to the bar room, Arvine sips slowly the drink. “I’m not stupid enough to drink it in one gulp”, reminiscing the tragic drunkard moment. But before he drank the last spurt, a strong slap was stricken with a sickening sound. Now if it isn’t a firework, it must be a blow from the bastard that he knows.

Turning his head 90 degree, his friend Ruben, another of his father’s acquaintance, waiting for his lil’ chap to response. He was smiling and grinning, as a person who looked like a war-ragged old guy that actually can kick your ass doubly over and drinking soda while on it.

“Hey, I found the place kiddo. It’s the Laboratory of Daven, a famous scientist in the town. Now currently he is having 3 new assistants, and I suspect one of them to hide a crucial clue to find a Forsaken’s Division Leader outpost.”

Handing over a receipt, he quickly clasped his greatsword, swinging it around in the air. It whistles while it cut through the air elegantly, and creating a gust of wind that engulf the bar.

The boy rose, and stare at Ruben, who was holding his greatsword, “Soul Sister”. He grabs the receipt, and smiled , and open his mouth. “Ruben, thanks for the offer... But I don’t want to fight you. You know that your attacks is powerful, and so do mine. I don’t want to hurt you...” He puts back his staff on his back.

Then he turned around, packing his small bag, and moved to the door. Ruben cliched at that comment. “Damn kid. This is why I only trust in Seartan as a leader. If he is here, he would have a spar with me.” He quickly stop swinging his blade, and put it again on his favourite place, just right in the back.

But then, he remembers something. Something important.

“Hey kid, wait! Stop!” The movement stop. Already pissed by his slap, Arvine turn his body around, watching as Ruben runs his way, bringing a small box.

“I have a gift for you.”

Opening the box, there is.......a rabbit. A small, soft, squishy white rabbit with red eyes, sniffing the outline of the box. And the small rabbit jumped, to the palm of the boy’s hand. It was staring, and staring, through the eye of Arvine.

“Ruben, this is one, cool rabbit, where did you get it?”

Catching his breath, he take on deep sip of the air, and said nothing. He just smiled, and say “Please take care of that thing for me. You see, my friend give me this. But I don’t like animals.”

“Sooooo.....you’re throwing this small, and adorable thing on me?”

“No no no no Arvine, it’s not like that. Just keep it will ya? I have to go to my home.”

Knowing that staying here will raise suspicion of the boy going to scold him for throwing the bunny, Ruben flee the scene, knowing that he wouldn’t have that burden on his back anymore. Meanwhile, Arvine looked at the man who runs away from him, and shook his head. “Why can’t he just keep nice things? This pet is cool.”

Now, the boy, accompanied with the rabbit who is hopping on the ground, walking through the forest, to the laboratory of a man called Daven.....

Deus Problem, Meeting Science

“My, what a cute little bunny. Hop 1! Hop 2! Hop 3!”

Now Arvine currently is in the lab of Daven, taking measures of the place. He looks around of the place. Standard alchemy set? Checked. Strange machines? Checked. Smell of chemicals? Checked. Now what’s left is the 3 assistant that is suspected. Meanwhile, Daven is currently playing with his bunny, giggling on the process.

“Whoa, looked at him! Look at how his nose sniffing at me! Awww......Can I dissect him?”

Arvine sighed. It’s annoying how Daven played with his rab- wait, what did he just say dissect?

Turning around with a horrified look, Daven was rising a scalpel high, and with a flash, he strike down to the unfortunate critter.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!” Arvine screamed, at the most upmost horror that he have ever seen!

He quickly run to Daven, getting ready to see the agony that Daven made. Oh the horror! The humanity! What is this torture! Closing his eyes with his hand Wait, is that chopped carrots that actually being sliced? And that rabbit.....is enjoying eating them?

“You should look at that face of yours. Bwahahaha!”, laughed Daven outloud, as he hold the shoulder of Arvine. Now the boy’s face was pouting nonsensically. He was fooled to his wits! “How could that man fool me! I hate ‘im! Ughhhh.....”, thought Arvine in his mind, his mouth is still pouting.

All of a sudden, the electricity is pumped on and off. A large, supremely exposed laugh was heard in the 2nd floor. The machines was cranking up some noise. A noise was heard from the gramophone. And not just that, the glass equipment starts to flying through the sky. Daven, a person in which is 25 years old, still interested and knowing intact of seeing phenomenon like this, quickly conclude it with one word. “Ghost.”

The Name is Cyber. Cyber Virus.

Now the music in the gramaphone is increasing it’s tense. A crackling sound was heard from it. It consists of words. “Cyyyy-berr. Virrr-us” As the crackling sound goes dimmer, the movement is getting heavier, the chairs, tables, and stuffs are getting flown to Arvine and Daven. Luckily, they managed to hide under a table with a cloak, knowing that they must hide.

“G-g-g-g-ghost! I hate ghost! They scare me in the nights!” Holding his hands and knees together, Arvine is rambling of words in this state, consisting of scary, scary, scary, and random creeps. Daven peeks outside, looking at the movement of things apart. It stops. And it would be likely that the ghost is looking at them. Yet suddenly, a small pair of ears came out of the rabble. It’s the rabbit that the boy owns. Then, much to Daven’s horror, the bunny actually moves toward them.

“No you stupid rabbit! Don’t come closer! The ghost will notice!” But as most people know, rabbits doesn’t talk with human language. As soon as the rabbit enter the cloak beneath the table......chaos ensues.

The table flipped, and the cloak was flying to the sky. It quickly blinded Daven and Arvine. “I can’t see! I can’t see! What is happening!” Before the boy panics even more, Daven quickly throw away the cloak, and grabbed Arvine’s hand.

“Quick! We’ going to the upper level!”, said Daven. Looking at the front door, it was blocked by tables alike. Before Arvine tries to destroy it, Daven just pulled out the cloak of the boy, and rushes to the stairs.

Then, a faint looking shadow figure was walking slowly, and to the stairs. He was whispering something, and finally, he stopped, and defiantly said:

“My name is Cyber Virus.”

Getting More Upward

“Why the hell can’t we just destroy the door?”, shouted Arvine. Currently, they’re catching their breath. Then, Daven laughed maniacally, and then, stop with a grin. “You see, I have an equipment of forgotten Ghost Busters technology. That ghost will die before he can say ba-bye!” Upon hearing this, the boy calmed down, knowing that this guy could beat the ghost.

“So, what’s the deal?”

“The deal is...to go to the 3rd floor and get that stuff. Let’s go!”

Running to the other stairs, Arvine noticed a several stack of papers, sitting on a desk. And not just that, there is a sign “assistant memo” on it! Maybe he can grab it and know where is the outpost are. But before he reaches the paper, Daven quickly pulls him to the stairs. “We don’t have much time, we need to go!” As he said that, a faint figure was standing on the stairs of 1st floor. It was glaring at them.

Upon reaching the 3rd floor, a large stack of cardboards, and dusty equipments are in front of them. But none of these equipments actually looks like a gun. Turnin’ his head around and round, Arvine was confused where is the equipment placed.

“Where is the gun, Daven?”, whispered the boy.

“It’s right.....here!” Upon saying the verse, Daven grabs out a big-chunky badass looking shotgun, which have 3-barreled fire system. With laser scopes. And silver metallic texture which makes Desert Eagle looks like a toy. Also colored numbers, each of them gleaming in the dim light of the laboratory.

“Oh my god.”, said Arvine speechless. “What does this called?”

“This.”, said Daven, “is called the AXM-Model -1 A.K.A the Soul Blaster. Unlike a normal gun, this weaponic system are used to destroying soul of a person, but not injuring the body on the process. We usually use this in death sentence.” Heaving it out, he makes a “ka-click” sound, and aim for the door.

“You see this thing? They won’t be back.”

Electron Magnet

Walking down to the 2nd floor, Daven was holding the gun, looking left and right of the place. Arvine was hiding behind him. They took a step, and nothing happens. They took another one, and nothing happens. Then, on the third step, a man was coming out from the shadows. A surge of electricity was covering him, giving him illustrations of a man bathing in a divine light.

“Your time’s up! Whatever you are!”, said Daven. “Now leave and never return!”

Looking with an empty face, the electric man chuckles. Then, he rumbled into a hearty laugh, and the scary part is, that he doesn’t even have any mouth to laugh! Sincerely he raised his hand, and a large bolt was struck right in the weapon Daven is holding. All the buttons become energized, then suddenly, the gun was silent.

“My name is Cyber Virus. And you all shall die.” Then his hand turned it’s direction, facing Daven himself. Daven’s expression change from glorified, to horrified. “Your turn.”, he whispered. Then he clasped his hand, pulled them together, and create a small lightning bolt that’s sharp as a spear. With a quick gesture he targets Daven from where he stand.

But before the bolt strikes Daven, 3 lightning arrows came from nowhere and neutralize the threat. The electric man, rotating his head to see the new challenger, who defy him of killing a person as he wishes. It was a small kid, with a staff and a small rucksack, standing in front of Daven.

“I’m afraid of ghost, but no one hurt people that I like!” As he said that, he raises his hand, and creates a small lightning bow, and shoots out 3 bullets of lightning. Cyber Virus, as a being of electricity, simply absorbs it and magnifies his power. “Good meal”, said him with a depressing monotone. “Now this is my turn.”

Now, even more empowered by the electricity give to him, Cyber Virus crafts an even more deadly weapon. It was.....a machine gun, made of lightning. He then pointed out his finger to Arvine, then move his hand slowly across his neck. And a clicking sound.
Each bolts shooks the daylight out of Cyber, but he kept firing. Arvine, who has the ability to teleport, successfully hides from Cyber’s attack. Yet Daven only able to block it with a chair, and each bolt that hits him quickly depletes his stamina, making him unable to stand up. Realizing that Daven might die, the boy quickly gets behind of Cyber, and cast a spell called.....

“Water Prison.”

In a flash, Cyber Virus was electrocuted in the sphere made of water. His face was unable to show any expressions, but the sound he makes inside the bubble was agonizing. Arvine quickly cast Water Shield upon Daven, and then faces Cyber again, who was just freed from the prison. The electric man was catching his breath, for all of his electrical supplies was exhausted upon the cage.

Fighting Chance

As Cyber faces upward, he saw a small kid, rising above him. Smiling, and said: “Let us be friends.” Virus then remembers his past, where the sun still shine in his heart. Then, he snapped, and grabbed Arvine’s hand, and put all his remaining power to electrocute him to the point when he dies. The boy, not realizing the trick, was shocked and even his hair stands out. Knowing there’s a chance that he won’t survive this, Arvine whispered...

“Dragon Merge. Lightning Dragon!”

As he said that, the surrounding has changed. A large, yellow aura was unleashed within him, and the hand of Cyber Virus crackled. Releasing his hand from the clutches of Cyber, Arvine stands again, whirling his staff around him, chanting the forgotten spells of the past.

“I.....gave you chance. Sorry about this.” When he said that, his staff grows yellow and it was brimming with electricity. “Feel the wrath of the dragons......Heaven’s Nine Fury!”
In an instant, the staff grows brighter than ever, and it collects a tremendous amount of electrical energy. Cyber Virus, exhausted, unable to do anything as the kid’s aura grows bigger and bigger.

Upon the first strike, Cyber was replenished with his power.
Onto the second strike, his vitality was recovered.
However, upon the third strike, his body is starting to grow bigger.
During the fourth strike, his body releases constant electricity out-breach.
When the fifth strike lands, his body releases a sound of chipping bones.
After the sixth strike, his body even gets more sound, and swollen to a big ball.
And with the power of seventh and eighth strike, his body constantly shoots bone fragments.
Looking at his now swollen enemy, Arvine looked towards him again. He clasped his hand, and chant the last part of the spell. The Ninth Floors of Heaven.

“May your life be refreshed.”

As he said that, Arvine’s staff glows, and he releases the most deadly part of his spell, the ninth strike of the lightning. In an instant, Cyber Virus body exploded, and a large EMP blast was resounded on the secluded lab. All the computers are destroyed, and other electrical appliances were out of order.

“Awwww. Now the computer’s dead. How can I get the info?”

Turning his head again, he saw Cyber Virus still standing, unimpressed by the display of power that Arvine gave to him. He clasped his hand, and clapped three times. “As a sign of respect, you have done well against me. However, you will still die.”

Then, a cry was heard from behind Arvine. Daven, his hand is stuck between falling tables. Arvine quickly let him loose, and patch him up. Then Daven pulled up his face, and said. “I know his weakness. During the spell he cast, I saw a small skeleton that glows in his face. It mus be his weakness! You must destroy it.”

Cyber, hearing that they have found his weakness, quickly changed his patch. He energized all his body, then changed himself into a large spear made of lightning. Arvine, knowing he must conclude this fight, quickly derived himself from other things.

“Dragon Merge. Light and Chaos!”

Upon merging with the soul, his hair, eyes, and aura changes to black and white. Yet there isn’t enough time. Cyber has thrown himself to them, and his body is as deadly as anything can be.“I’m going to combine Light and Chaos!” As he said that, he quickly purge his blades, and recharge his cannon. “No use pal! You’re going to die!”, said Cyber Virus mockingly.

However, the boy doesn’t give up. He clasped the cannon, and aimed it to Cyber. “I know using 1 power isn’t enough. That’s why I use 2!” As he said that, he unleashed a blow of disintegration beam to Cyber, eliminating his coating of electricity.

“What? This is impossible!”, whined Cyber. “I’m the one who kills! I’m the one who will win!”

Clasping his light sword, Arvine smiled a little. “Evil won’t win.”

In one quick slash, he sliced the white skeleton on Cyber’s buddy. The result is as expected. His body get’s worked up, and achieving some seizures. Then in a beam of lightning flash, his body started perished to the air. However, before he perished, he holds a small remote.


“Shit”, said Daven. “That’s the self-destruct button! We must secure it!”

But even with that warning, the body of Cyber has quickly pressed the button. In a rumble, the building started to collapse. In this moment of confusion, the rabbit of Arvine goes back to his owner.

“We need to leave Daven, this place is going to blow!”

“But....my experiments....“

“We don’t have time!” As the boy said that, a large stone was jagged beside him. After several seconds of wasting time, Daven finally agrees to flee. Both people were running down to the stairs. “Why does you even need a self-destruct button!”, said Arvine while running. “It looks cool to have a self-destruct button.”, replied Daven.

“Argh, the door is barricaded. It must be the work of Cyber Virus. We need to bust through!”

“But how? And it’s 40 seconds left to total annihilation!”

Smiled, the boy replied. “30 seconds is the limit”

Then, a small aura has been released from Arvine. It grows bigger ever seconds, and it cause a fracture of small wind gusts. His body aura changes to white and black, but even more intensified and deadly than before. Collecting huge amount of energy, Arvine has successfully triggered his Ultima Mode.

“30 Seconds left!”

“Summon. Yin and Yang!”

In a puff of smoke, out came 2 person , each of them unique in their own way. The first latter is a man that holds 2 blades, and 8 blades that are flying through him. The other latter, is a young woman, that holds 2 cannon in her hands, and 4 flying magical cannon on her sides.

“Yin, please grab Mr. Daven when I bust this rocks away. Yang, please grab me when I finished the skill.”

“Now let’s get going.”

“20 seconds left!”, shouted Daven.

Then Arvine stand still, and cast Shadow Walker. When his shadows become a person, Arvine told him to use 2 spells at a time. Then, looking back at the entrance, he smiled.
“Dual Skill! Heaven’s Overdrive n’ Chaotic Rampage!”

Upon saying that, the 2 aura, black and white, merged with each other, become a gray and a much more powerful aura. Then he cast upon Ice Craft, and conjure a strong ice armor for his body.

“10 seconds left!”

“Shadow, on the count of three! One, two, three!”

As Arvine runs toward the barricade, his shadow destroyed most of the rocks, giving a small layer left in front of the door. Yet, Arvine isn’t finished with the attack. He shoulder-smashed the rocks, and left a big, gaping hole.

“We need to evacuate, let’s go!” When he said that, he grabs his rabbit, and Yang grabs him.

Now looking forward, behind they hear a sound of tremendous caliber, sounded like an eruption.

New Experience

“Man, what a horrid day.” said Arvine.

He is currently in a bar, drinking some cocktails to go. Daven was currently in hospital, for he is electrocuted real bad, and he is drinking here with his rabbit. Then he looks toward the bunny he owned, and think of a name that suits him.

“I would call you......Stan? or Franc? It’s for my father and my grandpa.... Does it sound good?”

“You suck at naming kid.”


Releasing his grip of the bunny, Arvine’s look was horrified to some point. The rabbit then stands on his hind legs, and staring.........staring........at Arvine with his red eyes.
“The bunny just talked! Did the bunny just talked? The bunny just talked!

“Yeah, I’m talking kid.”

Then he proclaimed that he is Cyber Virus. When Arvine successfully destroyed his electrical form, he hid inside the rabbit’s body to recover, waiting till he have the ability to have the other form again. “And I’m pissed, because I can’t beat a brat. I would like to join your adventures for a while, and I will defeat you, when the time is right.”

Arvine, listening to Cyber’s talk, just stricken dumb, and watch him rant around. He is still thinking for the name of the rabbit.....

“Lock. I’ll call him Locke”

Then he lifted the bunny high, and hugged him in his chest.

“Watch it kid, I’m sensitive you know.”


Intercepting Messages......
“Boss, I have succeeded on destroying the facility.”

“Good. And does the boy knows your identity?”

“No, he doesn't.”

“Well done! Good job, assistant.”

“Thank you. And Tenor, I’m happy that you give me the chance.”

“No no no Daven. Nothing can stop us.”
Ending Messages......



"We have reason to believe you are a vigilante, a murderer, and a thief. You have a criminal history Arvine and we can lock you up for life or even give you the death sentence if possible, however if you can complete this task then we will drop all charges against you and you will be off scot free." Arvine while his vision is blurry the boy can hear every word the man says. Arvine has been tied completely down on a chair in a metal facility with guns surrounding him, barely any light surrounded Arvine mainly because the only thing that has been illuminated was on top of an oak table most likely used to show files. The man speaking to Arvine is silhouetted so the boy cannot see him. The mans voice is extremely deep most likely he is using a machine that changes his voice.

"Arvine, your task is to capture a ghost using our state of art equipment and your spell casting. We've tried sending in our own agents to capture this ghost and these are the results." The man says while placing a bright yellow file on the table. He opened up the file revealing three pictures, all of them showing a people in black suit with a badge on them, but each with something that killed them. The first picture showed a white bald man who had at least five lead pipes in his chest and his neck completely cracked, the next one showed a woman with blond hair but her scalp has a saw blade stuck in it however it is not deep enough to cause the scalp come off, the last one was an old man still wearing the same suit but it appears he has two large hand shaped burn marks are on the temples of his head going around to his ears, apparently his hands were also fried but it appears the hands look more like an exit wound.

"As you can see the agents met a horrible fate, we have noticed three things about this ghost. The people who have seen it and lived to tell the tale call it Cyber virus, the ghost has two forms that it uses to kill with and they are both known as electrical and ghost form. The first two fates without the burn marks were caused by his ghost form but the last one was electrical. And the final thing we have learned about Cyber virus is that it is not alone out there, whenever it is confronted by a human somewhere in the corner of the room it is in a very cold entity shows up in which we believe is the Grim Reaper," The man placed down another file this one being red.

After he placed the red file down Arvine's vision was no longer blurry and he began struggling to escape the chair "Don't even attempt to escape using that teleportation spell, we will shoot to kill." He said as he opened up the file and inside revealed six pictures taped on the side, each showing a regular color picture and thermal scans of said picture.

The first one showed an abandoned rusted up metal factory with its name brand broken off the building, the only letter that remains intact is the letter E. The factory is right next to a couple working buildings that most likely either make or sell products. The thermal scans show the factory is abandoned and has been sitting in the sun for a long time however a small blue dot signifying Cyber virus's current spot is within the factory "This is where Cyber virus lives, normally we would just blow up the factory so he dies down like all ghosts but its right in the middle of stick page city, we could end up harming civilians and if not worse frightening them. And added Cyber virus can just move to a different building. So it's best we keep the ghost in that building rather go through the trouble of finding it in another," Arvine stopped struggling to escape the chair and listened on "We attempted cutting the power to drain him of his electrical ability but that didn't work so we sent in three agents to secure it and contain it," the man said while pointing to the picture of the factory "But like you saw earlier that didn't work as well," Arvine decided to speak "But how can you be sure there's a ghost in there and not just some homeless person or a nomad?", "BECAUSE! The homeless people don't have hands that generate electricity now keep quiet and listen to your mission, now listen you will be knocked out and air dropped nearby this factory with your staff, you will also be dropped in with four of our finest. We want this thing contained or vaporized to oblivion, we don't ask questions on how you do the job just as long as this ghost can no longer harm anybody." The man now pointed to a picture of a room, but nothing except a couple machinery in a very dark room is in the picture.

"This is Cyber virus's ghost form. Cyber virus cannot be seen or heard, only our ghost hunting technology can do damage to it while in this form," The man said while pointing to the thermal scans of said picture, the room seems to be a bit green showing that it is quite temperate in the room, however right center is a big amount of blue showing a cold entity is there. "This ghost is HIGHLY dangerous in this form and caution must be taken in order to either capture it or destroy it, now on to its electrical form."

The the man pointed to the next picture, it showed the exact same room however Arvine couldn't believe his eyes... Before thinking he has seen worse, the picture showed a white skeleton. Not much to see except for the fact that it looks like lightning is dancing all around it to form some sort of skin. "This monstrosity needs to be taken down, we have noticed the skeleton acts like a support. The electricity helps the skeleton stand up and the skeleton helps the electricity keep its form. It's at its most deadly in this form, but its also at its most weakest. The ghost loves to see its victims suffer so it electrocutes them, this is its biggest weakness. When you wake up you will be with three men and a child armed to the teeth NOW GO GET THAT GHOST!" Upon saying so the man took out a syringe and forced it directly into Arvine's eye ball, the boy went silent and saw nothing but darkness.


Arvines eyes slowly opened, his eyes are a bit hazy and the light is blinding outside but Arvine soon found he is laying on top of a metal building, the roof of the building to be exact. It appears there are many rust spots that Arvine can easily see and a doorway that leads downstairs that go directly into the building, instantly after Arvine saw the doorway he was grabbed by the back of his cloak and pulled up by a strong arm. The boy looks around to see two soldiers complete with a full flak jacket made of.... stone?, one bald man with an eye patch who doesn't seem to be wearing a stone flak jacket and instead a long black trench coat, and yet another eleven year old child who is wearing a miniature version of the stone flak jacket the soldiers are wearing. The eleven year old child speaks up "I've been working here ever since I was born," His voice is very loud and annoying "I am the much respected leader of this group and you will treat me with utmost respect. You and this group of our finest soldiers mission today is to take down a ghost named Cyber virus," The boy then pointed towards a bald man with an eye patch "This man is second in charge, his name is Johnathan. Don't call him John for short," The boy then points towards the other two "These men are will be taking down this ghost too, they are twins. Their names are Tod and Tom. Here's your equipment by the way." The child threw over a bag, it contained multiple tools and gadgets... It also contains Arvine's Meric staff with a flashlight right next to it. The other men and the child opened up their equipment bags and they all took an M4 assault rifle with red dot sights and flashlight attachments "Yeah kid we don't exactly trust you with a gun, think of it as an honor we actually trust with even a flashlight. Also if feel around inside your right ear you will feel that we have placed a small ball in there, that will allow you to speak to us from afar and allow you to hear us even if we are far away each other." Arvine replied back "Do you really think we can stop a GHOST with guns?" Arvine felt like he shouldn't said that "Listen we have received detail that Cyber virus has bones behind his electrical skin, if we can penetrate the electricity then we can break his bones and we can capture him in ghost form with this." The boy then took out a metal box from the bag, the box has glowing green lines going all around the outside, giving it this sort of grey and green striped look. "This box right once activated destroys lower entities and captures larger ones, now is that it for questions?" Before Arvine could answer the boy interrupted him "ALRIGHT good, move out team!"

The men and the flak jacket child moved towards the doorway leading into the factory, Arvine followed. With a loud crash the Johnathan smashed down the door, it obviously didn't take much since the door was wooden and has been sitting there for many years. The stairs were instantly illuminated by the blinding sunlight, large amounts of dust particles can be seen within the light however the light is quickly replaced by the shadow of a young boy. The boy took the first steps down into the darkness. The little boy shouted out to the people as he was halfway down the stairs "WELL, come on ladies, we got a ghost to contain!" Jonathan, Tod, Tom, and Arvine followed the leader. The soldiers turn on the flashlight attachments at the end of their weaponry. Everything was real quiet and there is absolutely no power on in the building.

The soldiers moved down the stairs to find the boy surveying the area with a flashlight, "Alright, Tod and Tom you search the main work area. Arvine you head to the bosses office. Jonathan your heading towards the regular offices I'm going to go search the kitchen and the incinerator room. MOVE OUT TEAM!" Everybody split up to search for Cyber virus and Arvine was left in the dark, the boy turned on the flashlight and began walking around trying to find the bosses office.

Arvine stands on an overseer's catwalk meant to allow the manager to keep watch of those working, this is where they are supposed to meet up when the whole building has been searched. Arvine finds a sign stating in big bold letters with an arrow pointing to a certain direction "BOSSES OFFICE THIS WAY!" Arvine begins walking through a large hallway where supposedly the sign said the bosses office will be. Arvine got a quick chill down his spine due to this hallway being abnormally long but no problem he got to the end and opened the door, when he opened the door a large amount of green smoke shot out of the door which made Arvine cough a single time but it wasn't dangerous or poisonous. Arvine slowly walked inside with his flashlight, after a while of shining the light in multiple areas Arvine has figured out three things in this room intrigue him. There appears to be a small red skull on a desk within the room, the skulls main features include ominous glowing green eyes that emit this sort of green fog and the fact that its red, the room must of been closed down for a while now because the smoke emitted from the skull appears to never end. The next thing that intrigued him was simply the bunch of paper doodles of poorly drawn stick figures all over the ceiling and the walls. The final thing is there appears to be what looks like a large bed on the west side of the bosses office. It looks like its been sitting for years and never been even bothered to be cleaned. The top and sides are covered in this black and green mold looking stuff, Arvine speaks to himself while looking at the bed "I'm afraid to touch that. Don't wanna get catch any diseases, heh." the boy then wanders out of the bosses office and heads back to the overseers cat walk and awaits his fellow "friends" to come back to the catwalk.

Arvine remembers everything word from the man. The death threat and the prison threat, and Arvine knows what parts in his life that the man was talking about and if he doesn't do this then there's guaranteed chances he's not going to win in court and if he escaped court he would be on the run for his entire life. Of course now he's on the run constantly moving from place to place but he isn't running FROM anything, but forever running from something? That's no way to live, besides how hard could this creature be that it needs an eleven year old in flak jacket armor to lead the squad in order to defeat it? Just as Arvine was going to answer that question he thought up of gun fires roared in through the main office's. The boy quickly ran over to where he heard the noise but alas to it was to late, Arvine wandered around to get a good look at his surroundings. five rows of cubicles was the only things in the room, at the last cubicle in the last row Arvine found what had happened.

The dead body of Johnathan was found. He made one final stand with the assault rifle which explains the bullet holes in the wall opposite of the cubicles entrance, but he has two hand shaped burn marks on the side of his head and a large burn mark on his right hand. Entry burn wound and exit wound is found and this most likely caused by Cyber virus, but where is that bastard is the question? Just then a loud psychotic laugh started that echoed throughout the factory, it stopped suddenly allowing the silence of the building to come back.

Arvine walked out of the office without saying a word to Johnathan. Arvine while walking through hallway looked at a single painting on the wall, it showed a little black cat. But something was wrong... The cat is moving. It jumped out of the painting and attacked Arvine, Arvine let out a small yelp due to it startling him but it wasn't frightening, the cat left a large amount of cuts that bled onto the boys face. The cat left the area as soon as the child got his staff. he has yet to find out where the rest of the group is...


Arvine picked up his flashlight and continued on down the catwalk to the main work area, the factory has gotten much colder and strange things has been happening all over the place. Such as glass bottles floating up and shooting towards him and some painting coming to life, the floor is concrete and covered in debris but this didn't stop him from moving, Arvine continued walking around the place jumping over obstacles until he finally came across this hallway, the walls look completely like flesh with multiple parts of a face on it such as eyeballs and mouths, the mouths are screaming and the eyeballs looking around rapidly. And there stood the electrical mass... Cyber virus, the electric ghost sprinted towards Arvine. Cyber virus's feet crackled every time he made a single step, his entire body made small lightning connections to the wall and floor like a tesla coil. "Well, your the ghostly entity that has been causing trouble. Time to die." Arvine said while taking out his staff, the boy's hair and eyes became red and he began creating this massive fire wall that stopped the virus in its tracks. Arvine shot three arrows through the fire and directly hit Cyber virus. The fire extinguished just a bit to show Cyber virus isn't even there anymore, he just vanished.

Arvine looked around and for a while everything was quiet, until at least three pieces of concrete floated up and shot towards Arvine. He skillfully dodged the first two but the last one managed to hit him in the stomach, it pushed him back against the wall and that electrical formed back this time on the overseers catwalk. The virus jumped down and sprinted towards Arvine, it wasn't until the boy was surrounded in water that the ghost stopped. All of Arvines wounds were healed but that doesn't stop the fact that Arvine is pinned against the wall by this piece of concrete. Arvine whispered a couple words to himself "water prison." Seconds afterwards a massive dome formed around the virus in which he tried to escape and managed to but half his entire body is gone, he has no legs anymore. Arvine figured out his weakness, Cyber virus shot multiple lightning bolts towards Arvine in which the boy countered by raising pillars of fire to act as a shield, and it worked. The lightning bolts completely decimated upon impact of the fire pillars, "Now its my turn." The boys eyes became yellow and he shot three lightning arrows at the piece of concrete forcing him against the wall, it shattered allowing to fall safely down but he wasn't looking. A large lightning bolt shot from Cyber virus's right hand instantly struck the boy in the arm, creating a large burn mark. Arvine let out a shout in pain but still didn't stop him, the boy's eyes became blue the same with his hair and from his hands formed what looks like a large ice assault rifle. The boy unleashed a rapid amount of ice spikes from the rifle, each hitting the electrical mass making more and more holes inside the body of the ghost. The ghost quickly disappeared to stop any more shots from being taken.

Out from behind Arvine a massive hand made directly from the wall itself punched the boy in the back of the head, he survived but it hurt him. "Screw it, this isn't worth it." Arvine looked to the right, a simple door that led outside was just right there. Arvine got up and ran towards it but the whole door itself grew this ghostly head that attempted to bite Arvine. Apparently Arvine isn't going anywhere, so Arvine took a stance and prepared for whats coming. The virus is now cut in half so it can't physically kill him, then Arvine thought of something "What about that red skull? or the doodles, they may have something to do with him." Arvine ran up the stairs directly to the overseers catwalk but was immediately stopped by the black cat, it started growing more and more. Becoming mutated, it grew two arms with sharp claws out of the side of its body and it grew wings. The beast flew over towards Arvine and attacked him, It tore open Arvines stomach reveal some of his flesh but its not enough to kill him. The beast roared as it swung its claws towards Arvine while forcing him against the wall, the boy shot multiple ice spikes into the beast but no effect. Arvine looked at the hallway and swung his staff over his head, black smoke soon engulfed him and it floated over to the hallway, the black smoke then went to a human form and took the shape of Arvine, he had teleported to the hallway. Completely away from the mutated monster. Arvine limped to the bosses office to find the skull still there but the stick figure doodles had been waiting, they all jumped at Arvine and started tearing away at his arms and legs. The boy surrounded himself in water and began healing his wounds, the stick figures crumpled into nothing. Arvine ran towards the skull and picked it up, just as he was going to throw it on the ground a sharp pain struck him. The boy had been shot in the back by Cyber virus, still cut in half and on the ground. Arvine casted one more spell "Blast..." In an instant the skull became engulfed in flames and blew up to pieces, Cyber virus looked at Arvine for a while. Before being shot back against the wall opposite of the bosses office door and forced into it. Arvine fell down, slowly dying. He knew he wasn't getting out of here alive.


Arvine awoken, he is lying on a hospital bed and he can see a note on his chest. He picks up the note and reads it "Dear Arvine, mission successful. Good work." Arvine felt relieved that he will never have to face that creature again.

Cyber virus lied down in his coffin, he spoke to himself "That boy got lucky, next time he will wish he never met me. Now to wait for the next rainfall." Cyber virus said while tapping his ghostly fingers on the side of his coffin "*Sigh* this is going to take forever..."

07-27-2013, 08:54 PM
KKA delete the other one.
Dammit I might lose this one.

07-27-2013, 08:55 PM
Okay I shall copy my CnC here then.

While I truly like both pieces (I really do), i think I'm gonna have to go with KKA on this one.

I liked how long and detailed yours was, KKA. You seemed to use your environment well. My only real beef is at some points your sentences seemed way to long. There could have been periods there at some points. And the spacing was eh to me, but that might have been because of the thing your using to write. And,what ever happened to the others? That was never really made clear. Other than that, i really liked it and don't have much other beef.

Triss, yours was also long, and I liked how it ended too, pretty funny. You also used virtually all of your potential powers to defeat the cyber virus. My beefs, were the fact that at times it seemed like you could have gone into more detail. Don't worry, I have problem with that too, alot. There were also points where a's should have been there and shouldn't have, and singular words should have been plural, but idk if you have broken English or that was the work of bad grammar.

So in the end, while I liked both entries, i shall go with KKA

07-27-2013, 09:11 PM
KKA delete the other one.
Dammit I might lose this one.

Why say that? Also I can't delete threads. Anyway why say that your might lose this one, just because I have a one vote lead so far? My past experience shows that a one vote lead doesn't matter at all.

07-27-2013, 10:50 PM
I'm not voting yet, I haven't decided. But I'm hoping you don't mind if I give some comments first.

You started off well, but there wasn't enough elaboration as to what happened, which means we have to read your wRHG page for the info. Now, that's not a bad thing, it makes your character more interesting, too; but I think what you could have done to increase the suspense even more would be to have the whole flashback that started the story in a series of flashbacks.

You could have written a few sentences, then skip to the next paragraph and describe the bar for a while, before describing something that reminds Arvine of that day, which sends him back into his flashback again. That would make me hunger for the story more, and also set a deliberately slow and suspenseful pace for the story; although many writers don't do that, saying it's cruel to the reader, I believe that flashbacks are the perfect scenes to incorporate this writing style, and you could have exploited that situation to nail readers to the screen completely for the rest of the story.

I can't really criticize your grammar when I have so many grammatical mistakes myself, but I think that a little proofreading would help a little with the grammar problems.

Also, there were several places where you used some strange words that didn't quite fit in the English Language, for example, there was one particularly jarring sentence in the first scene: The movement stop. That was what killed the story for me.

In short, it was a good story, but the lingual mistakes killed it. I'm not 100% certain, but I don't think you're a native English speaker, which probably attributes to why the grammar mistakes are there. A very good layout, though; the flashbacks, the bunny, the sudden appearance of Cyber Virus... if you had written it out in a language you are comfortable with, I'm sure it would have been one good read.

But all the same, I can't excuse you for the grammar problems and the strange choice of words you had.

There were also a lot of grammatical mistakes, but at least the word choice seems more natural instead of translated.

However, there weren't a lot of spacings, and that makes reading it really difficult. Some people say its a good thing, that it moves the story along at a rapid-fire pace, but personally, I feel that everything was compacted into long paragraphs and long sentences, which gave it a very rushed and breathless pace, making it difficult to comprehend an otherwise well-written battle. There is also a noticable lack of comas in the dialogue, which I think most people would agree makes the story less real. Here's an example of that happening in your story:

"..... .You have a criminal history Arvine and we can lock you up for life or even give you the death sentence if possible, however if you can complete this task then we will drop all charges against you and you will be off scot free."

The problem with this sentence is that you must add your own pauses to it. Try reading the entire sentence as it is, without adding your own commas, and you will struggle to make it through the sentence without sounding either breathless or rushed.

This sort of thing happened throughout your whole story. Personally, I think it's okay to have one or two sentences like these, but once these sentences make it into the dialogues, your characters sound fake, and that's about the worst thing that can happen.

Other than this problem, you have nothing too obviously wrong that I can see, so I'll just leave it here.

I would have voted for Arvine, but I'm not 100% certain if I'm going to be a fair judge; I hate the writing style King used so much that it probably clouds my judgement a little.

So, I won't be voting for this one.

07-28-2013, 02:29 AM
Okay, it's been a long time I haven't read a battle, time to read this badass battle. c:

07-28-2013, 09:06 AM
KKA wins for not extending the deadline for over 2 months.

07-28-2013, 06:16 PM
KKA wins for not extending the deadline for over 2 months.
Actually it's 3 month.
From April, to July.

Sorry KKA, I can't give you the fight you want.
If I work out on my grammar, I might give you a better one XP
Back to the school alright.

07-28-2013, 06:20 PM
Actually it's 3 month.
From April, to July.

Sorry KKA, I can't give you the fight you want.
If I work out on my grammar, I might give you a better one XP
Back to the school alright.

You gave me a fight didn't ya? Yes? Good that's all I wanted. And you wanted a rematch and you got one, only this time you weren't fighting a drunken king.

KKA wins for not extending the deadline for over 2 months.


You know what, Cyber virus has so many powers that I wish I really placed into the story. I wanted to display the badass grim reaper coming in and foiling the plans of Cyber virus and I wanted to use the OVERLOAD blast part of Cyber virus, so many weakness's, so many powers. But oh well, I introduced Cyber virus's item change ability and his fearful feeding ability, I also introduced his skull and his room which was found by Arvine. I also introduced Cyber virus getting cut in half simply by water. I feel my story was pretty successful for the most part. The one thing I didn't mention though is what happened to the child in the flak jacket and Tod and Tom. Jonathan got electricity to the brain but what happened to the other three? Man I regret not placing what happened to them.

07-31-2013, 04:31 PM
Both reads were enjoyable.

Triss, though your word usage was somewhat difficult at times to follow, I was ultimately able to understand your battle entry. And unfortunately, I felt that your sequence of events were just too unlikely for me to fully enjoy. It was good, but I felt that it had a lot of area's that could have used revising. From the strange acquiring of the rabbit, random availability of the Ghostbuster equipment, and Arvine's initial fear of ghosts that disappear when Cyber virus inhabits the bunny, I think it could have been better.

King, you had some unlikely events in your battle as well, but not as much. What caught my attention was that this group that's forcing Arvine to hunt Cyber virus has a lot of specific info on him. Like pinpoint accurate information, straight from your wRHG page. I understand that gathering intel is sort of a given with major organizations involving agents, and I guess that's what they did do, but maybe next time use synonymous words and phrases in descriptions. That gives your readings more depth and range.

I felt King's flow was better, though you could do with a few pauses in between sentences to make that flow even better. My vote goes to King. ^^

07-31-2013, 10:54 PM
Both reads were enjoyable.

Triss, though your word usage was somewhat difficult at times to follow, I was ultimately able to understand your battle entry. And unfortunately, I felt that your sequence of events were just too unlikely for me to fully enjoy. It was good, but I felt that it had a lot of area's that could have used revising. From the strange acquiring of the rabbit, random availability of the Ghostbuster equipment, and Arvine's initial fear of ghosts that disappear when Cyber virus inhabits the bunny, I think it could have been better.

King, you had some unlikely events in your battle as well, but not as much. What caught my attention was that this group that's forcing Arvine to hunt Cyber virus has a lot of specific info on him. Like pinpoint accurate information, straight from your wRHG page. I understand that gathering intel is sort of a given with major organizations involving agents, and I guess that's what they did do, but maybe next time use synonymous words and phrases in descriptions. That gives your readings more depth and range.

I felt King's flow was better, though you could do with a few pauses in between sentences to make that flow even better. My vote goes to King. ^^

What I was trying to go for was this organization that wanted to bring down evil entities/evil wRHG's/Monster busters. But I also wanted them to know almost everything about Cyber virus to right down to the point where they have a fair fight against him and also to show that they have been chasing Cyber virus for a while now and are finally going into action after they have learned quite a bit about him (I'm starting a new demo about this agency and what they do), I also wanted them to seem desperate to take this bastard down to go as far as threatening an 11 year old magician for help. But here's the kicker, in the end with the mission complete thing they now believe Cyber virus is destroyed, gone and outta their lives. They were wrong.....