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XDHunterNest
03-18-2014, 12:13 AM
This is my debut battle and Nhaleet's third battle (if I'm not mistaken?). Anyways, good luck to both of us and may the best writer win!

Nhaleet (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?78655-Nhaleet-The-Test-Subject)

(Click here for Nhaleet's Part) (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hg-uXT__AzDV26-qdodd3F2E1CjvN7hjh6I6qpFlWS4/edit)


Zackeroar (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?76153-Zackeroar)

The sun stood in the middle of the sky, giving a great light to the earth below. It was a great day. A wonderful one. Zackeroar was jogging in one of the huge parks of Stickpage city. Trees were all around, and the birds chirped. The warrior jogged along the paved, cobblestone road with benches on the side. On one of these benches was a peculiar fellow. He seemed like a teenager, about 17 years old. He wore a t-shirt and jeans, and held a book in his hand. He had white skin, and had short, brown hair.

Zackeroar looked down, and saw a foot. The next second, he fell face flat on the ground. The teenager stopped browsing his book and looked down, surprised at seeing a man lying down on his feet.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Zackeroar got up, brushed his knees, and argued with the unprepared boy.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" said Zackeroar with his fists clenched. The warrior was wearing a shirt with a collar with a fire red color. Surely, it reflected his anger.
"I did not trip you on purpose, you klutz."
"Never learned to respect your elders?"
"Don't need to. My intellect is superior." Completely disgusted by the accusation, he went back to reading his book with anger in his mind.
"Why don't we settle this like men? Or do you want to chicken out like the little coward you are?"
"Let's do it. You will regret this."
"Meet me at that alley. Tonight. Get ready for a beating, boy." Zackeroar said, pointing at a dark alley between two buildings.
"You get ready, fool. You will regret this challenge, I tell you!"

6:00 PM. Zackeroar stood in the dark alley, waiting for his enemy. A faint light was thrown across the wall, coming from a street lamp that flickered ever so often. Aside from that, the bright, round moon gave much light also. A dark figure appeared on the other end of the alley. It was the boy. He was wearing a mottled gray uniform. Zackeroar was wearing a white sleeveless shirt, and gray camo pants. He found both in a hotel room in Stickpage City. His sword hung from its sheath, attached to the pants that he wore. He neither brought his shield nor his spear for "the boy was too weak".

"Let's go. What's your name by the way, boy? So I can cross out the name "teenager punk" in my wallet and replace it with your real name."
"It's Nhaleet. And yours?"
"Zackeroar. Now, let's get to business."

With that said, Nhaleet sprung into action. He ran forward, feet making sounds at the concrete path. Zackeroar unsheathed his sword, ready to slash. When Nhaleet reached swinging distance of Zackeroar's sword, he slid downward, missing the thrust of the demi-god. After that, the smart Nhaleet jumped with all of the momentum he had gathered and delivered an uppercut with both of his hands. Zackeroar trembled, his head shook, and he took a few steps backwards. Nhaleet was relentless. He dashed at Zackeroar again, sidestepping left and delivering a jab to the face.

"That'll teach you not to mess with me."

Zackeroar spit out a tooth, and faced Nhaleet. He let out a smile and showed his bloody teeth. Nhaleet charged towards the demi-god with his fists drawn back. This time, the spartan outsmarted him. Zackeroar quickly stepped right, and Nhaleet smashed into the graffiti filled wall. Zackeroar grabbed him by his hair, raised him up, and threw him down. Quickly, Zackeroar jumped, and tried to land an elbow on the injured teenager's back, trying to paralyze him by hitting his spinal cord. Nhaleet was smart, perhaps too smart. He rolled right, causing Zackeroar's elbow to hit the hard ground, and it conjured a wound which bled. Nhaleet groaned and ran away with great speed. Seeing this, Zackeroar called out, "Coward!". He pushed himself up using his palms and brushed his shirt. Thankfully, his elbow's wound stopped bleeding.

Zackeroar picked up his sword, thrown away when he fell. Picking it up, he put it back in its sheath. He took a few seconds to breath deeply, as Nest taught him. "Always breathe deeply before a battle. It helps you calm yourself and focus on the task at hand." After that, he clenched his fists, and ran towards the speedy boy.

Zackeroar was fast without his heavy, bronze armor. His fists swung forward and backward as he ran with all his might. He finally caught up wih the teenager. Nhaleet was panting, thinking his opponent was still far away. Seeing his foe, Nhaleet stood up, clenched his fists, and taunted. He was aware of Zackeroar's great pride and anger issues.

"Need a break, old man?"

With this said, Zackeroar ran towards the calm Nhaleet. The warrior was puzzled at why Nhaleet was calm and was standing like a rock. As the demi-god was close to Nhaleet, the teenager jumped up like a kangaroo and landed a kick to the bruised torso of the unsuspecting foe. Zackeroar fell down, but got up. Now, there was a great distance between the two bloodthirsty warriors. Nhaleet let out an evil grin as Zackeroar wiped the blood from his mouth. The spartan was weak and weary. He was tired and injured. Zackeroar's left hand held his stomach, prior to the pain of the fall and the kick. His right hand held his sword, trembling.

The teenager proved to be merciless. He ran towards Zackeroar, extending his fists as he went. He sidestepped right, avoiding Zackeroar's slash, and delivered a staggering kick to the left hip of Zackeroar using his left foot. Due to this, the son of Zeus coughed blood and trudged to a nearby wall. Nhaleet knew what would happen next. His power helped him know what would happen next. Zackeroar knew there was something in the mind of Nhaleet that made him predict what would happen next or what the best thing to do was.

"He knows everything I will do, but he won't have any time to detect if I'm speedy enough to perform my actions. Yet, there's a chance that he will still detect my attacks. I don't know much about this boy except that he has the power to see the future."

Zackeroar sat there, his back supported by the wall. Nhaleet still was undaunted. He took a few seconds to relax, and went back to the beating. The teenager dashed towards the slumping warrior and jumped with all of the momentum he gained. He pointed his heel at the bloody foe while he was still in mid-air. Zackeroar only coughed out blood and sat there like an old leper.

"Zeus, help thy son. Give me empowerment. Give me wrath!"

Nhaleet was surprised at this, knowing the extent of damage this has caused. He quickly glided himself away from Zackeroar as he was in mid-air avoiding the direct affection of the demi-god's wrath. Nhaleet looked to the sky, seeing a thunderstorm form up in the horizon. Oh boy, there was a storm brewing.

The clouds formed rain, not ordinary rain. There was something wrong. The raindrops had a gray-like color. Nhaleet was marveled by this, and at the same time afraid. Lightning also struck the area where the two competitors were in. Yet it was not ordinary lightning also. It was dark red lightning. The people of Stickpage City noticed this, opened their windows, and some saw the spectacular fight of the two wRHG warriors.

Zackeroar grabbed his sword, stood up, and let out a devilish smile. His hair now had the color of the rain, dark gray. His eyes now turned from blue to dark red, the color of the lightning earlier. He was now a monster. He was enraged by the pain and suffering this boy had caused him. Blood dripped from his lips regarding the beating he took earlier. He begun his attack. The enraged warrior dashed towards his foe, slashing at the air as he went. Seeing this, Nhaleet cowardly ran away with the opponent quickly dashing towards his tail.

The enraged spartan was irritated at how cowardly his opponent was. He threw his sword with great precision, hitting the shoulder of Nhaleet, barely missing his neck. The teenager groaned in pain as blood dripped from his shoulder bone. He groaned, let out a shriek of pain, and continued running.

Zackeroar still went in pursuit after him. His sword was on the ground and as he passed his sword, he let his hand go down and picked up the sword. He put it back in its sheath as he continued running after the cowardly foe.

Nhaleet then realized something. A preminotion. If he would stop and fight the enraged demi-god that is his opponent, he would have a meager chance of beating him. If he keeps running, he'll soon get tired and he'll be too exhausted to fight, causing his foe to easily defeat him. He chose to stop and fight even though he might be beaten.

Zackeroar saw his opponent waiting for him. He let out an evil grin and let out a menacing laugh. The enraged warrior tackled the surprised teenager, causing the boy to hit his head on a wall nearby. As they fell, the boy was met with a plethora of punches and jabs. Zackeroar's feet were locked onto his foe's body. Nhaleet was getting a beating. He held his hands up, managing to block some punches.

Zackeroar turned his head left and saw his sword. He quickly stood up and grabbed his bloody sword. Quickly, he charged at his foe and sliced halfway through his leg, which would prove fatal later on. Realizing he had two daggers in his pockets, Nhaleet quickly grabbed one and stabbed the stomach of Zackeroar. The blade sunk in and only the handle was left grabbable. The teenager quickly pulled it out and witnessed the demi-god tremble, take a few steps backwards, and watched as he coughed blood out.

He quickly jumped and landed a kick on the stomach of Zackeroar, causing him to fall. Zackeroar's sword was beside him, knocked down by the fall. He quickly grabbed it and slashed at Nhaleet as the teenager was trying to tackle him. Nhaleet was bending, ready to attack as his foe headed towards him. As a result of this, he ran towards his opponent, grabbed the blade carefully, and used the butt to hit the weak opponent. Slowly, Zackeroar's wrath was healing him. And surely, his wrath was still there.

Truly, the slash at Nhaleet's legs was fatal. His feet started to wobble and he took some steps backwards. This was bad since Zackeroar's healing had already finished. His face was bloody, yes, but his wounds were no more. He was more determined to fight the battle now. Especially with the wrath and rage Nhaleet had caused him. The refreshed warrior let out a menacing, evil shout which frightened the teenager. Nhaleet tried to run, yet he couldn't. His legs were hurting too much.

Zackeroar dashed towards Nhaleet with his sword touching the ground, getting heat as there was friction between the iron sword and concrete road. Nhaleet held his hands up as he slumped behind a wall. The son of Zeus raised his sword and slashed his opponent on the shoulder vertically. This burned since there was a lot of friction that happened between the sword and the road. Zackeroar threw his sword away, grabbed Nhaleet by his hair, and beat him back and forth from the wall to the ground. Finally, Zackeroar's opponent loosened the hold of his foe. He was sent flying as he loosened the hold in mid-throw.

Zackeroar dashed towards Nhaleet, still filled with anger. His fists were clenched and his right fist was drawn back. He found Nhaleet lying down, barely concious along the sidewalk. He jumped up, his elbow to hit first, and dealt a devasdating blow to Nhaleet's stomach. As contact was made between Zackeroar's elbow and Nhaleet's stomach, the teenager coughed up blood. Zackeroar got up, got on top of Nhaleet, and let loose an arsenal of punches to the face. Zackeroar still did not stop even after Nhaleet's face was bloodied, bruised, and beaten up.

Zackeroar finally stopped the beating. He grabbed his sword, pointed it at Nhaleet's neck, and asked a question.

"Mercy or death?" inquired Zackeroar.
"Kill me." said Nhaleet as he coughed up more blood.


The spartan remembered his master's words. "Do not show mercy to those who beg for it, but show it to those who beg for the sword instead." Zackeroar helped the poor boy stand up. He put Nhaleet's arm around his shoulder and helped him limp towards the wRHG clinic where they both would be treated. As the battle ended, both respected each other. They thought the other one's fighting skills were impeccable. It was true indeed. The spectators, too, were amazed and entertained. The place where they were both fighting was filled with dry blood. The place was horrid. Back to the two, they both, luckily, were healed and were restored back to normal.

XDHunterNest
03-18-2014, 12:14 AM
[EDIT] NVM. Added the poll :3

Edit: Now that the thread's in order, I wish good luck to both of us. May the best story win!

iarentevil
03-18-2014, 01:44 AM
Good luck to you as well.
And I want some CnC this time.
My last battle had 10 voters and only 1 gave any CnC.
Guys, I WANNA KNOW HOW I SCREWED UP.

XDHunterNest
03-18-2014, 03:45 AM
We don't even have any voters yet. No one's noticed the thread T_T

Ken_Rou
03-18-2014, 10:38 AM
Both of you did an amazing job! No major grammar errors and good story telling.

One of the few things that ultimately made me decide was the length of story. Compared to Hunter's story, iarentevil's was WAAAAAY too short. Maybe it's because I'm viewing both pages on my iPad (school iPads FTW), it only took me a short flick to get me to the bottom of Nhaleet's battle. I usually don't decide the victor over length, but since the two of you have about the same amount of strength in writing, I voted for the longer. iarentevil, putting in more detail about the setting and actions can make sentences suprisingly longer.

As for XDHunterNest, you had the word "Zackeroar" in there a few times when it was unnessesary. Fix that up, and you'll be good to go.

I enjoyed reading both of them. Great job guys!!

XDHunterNest
03-19-2014, 12:02 AM
Both of you did an amazing job! No major grammar errors and good story telling.

One of the few things that ultimately made me decide was the length of story. Compared to Hunter's story, iarentevil's was WAAAAAY too short. Maybe it's because I'm viewing both pages on my iPad (school iPads FTW), it only took me a short flick to get me to the bottom of Nhaleet's battle. I usually don't decide the victor over length, but since the two of you have about the same amount of strength in writing, I voted for the longer. iarentevil, putting in more detail about the setting and actions can make sentences suprisingly longer.

As for XDHunterNest, you had the word "Zackeroar" in there a few times when it was unnessesary. Fix that up, and you'll be good to go.

I enjoyed reading both of them. Great job guys!!
Thanks for the CnC, man. Yeah I do agree I had the word "Zackeroar" in there a ton of times. I'll keep that in mind next time. Thanks for voting, too! :)

EDIT: I thank you guys for voting and participating in our battle. :) Good job though, iarentevil.