View Full Version : Aiba Kannagi(Ken_Rou) vs Zoe Thanatos(Cruel)

06-13-2014, 07:28 AM
Well, never expected to do 2 battles this close to each other... Oh well.
This is my 4th battle(and 2nd against a fellow clan member), and Cruel's 1st.
Super excited to see how this turns out!

Oh yeah, on the side note... It would be helpful if the voters would actually READ the stories before voting. I'm looking at you, digkid.

wRHG Battle 3

It was a very normal day at the clan hideout of the Wind Chasers, with everyone on a daily routine of commiting to their hobbies, or their internet jobs, like I'm doing right now.

I don't tell this to a lot of people, but I own a company that features music equipment and sponsers upcoming musicians. I've been working on it since my days in the dojo, and things have been working out great so far. I've been able to pay for the rather expensive equipment we have at the hideout mostly with this.

But, I was having problems with composing a new song. Usually it would take about half a month to create one song, but the song I'm making right has been giving me trouble for weeks, and the due is supposed to be tomorrow. Sh*t, I'm officially out of ideas.

"What to do, what to do..."

Suddenly, an idea popped in my head.

Maybe I could think of something if I moved my body a little. I was getting tired of sitting in front of a computer anyway.

But who would I spar against? I've already gone against Charlie a couple of times, Zackeroar's too busy with his own training, and Vamprina wouldn't be up for it, since she avoids fighting as much as possible. Hmm...

"Hey Zoe, you wanna spar a little?" I said as I went down the stairs to the living room. Zoe was watching TV with Vamprina, with both of them wrapped in a blanket.

As she looked up, she replied
"Huh, why? I'm in the middle of something here"

"Well, I thought that it would be a good time to fully understand your abilities. Just because I stopped you the first time we met, it doesn't mean that I'll be able to do it again"

She raised her brow up, and replied

"...You're just bored, aren't you?"

"Not bored, but in need for an exercise routine"

"...All right, fine. Just gimme a second. I need to change" Zoe said as she stood up. She was still in her pajamas.

"But, Zoe..."

Vamprina said. Apparently, she still wanted to watch TV with Zoe.

"I won't be long, OK? Aiba, please tell her that this won't be long"

Zoe said as she turned her face to me.

"I can't assure you the exact time, but we'll be done in about a half an hour. So just hang tight" I said to Vamprina. She nodded vertically.

"All right, let me go get my stuff" I said to Zoe.

We both walked upstairs, and Zoe yelled at me as soon as we got to the second floor.

"If you look into my room while I'm changing, I'm going to kill you Aiba!!"

She's been paranoid about people looking into her room ever since Volt peeked into her room while she was changing the other day.

"Have I ever?" I said, grinning at Zoe.

"I'm just making sure!"

We arrived at the training quarters, which I got people to build underground (another super expensive thing). Zackeroar was still training there.

"Hey Zack, could you open No.3?" I asked him as I was approaching him.
Ever since I made him co-leader, I put him in charge of maintenance of the training quarters, since that's where he goes mostly every day.

As he stopped stabbing the dummy in front of him, he replied

"Yes. Just give me a second"

He put his sword away, and pulled out the card key to the training rooms.

We walked down the long hallway that lead to the training quarters. I've built a number of training rooms, ranging from Numbers 1 to 7. Among the seven, No.3 was the biggest.

Zackeroar opened the door to the training room door, and attempted to leave. I grabbed his arm, and said
"I want you to monitor the room"

He looked confused.


"Because if things go south, I want you to be there to stop Zoe. I don't trust myself completely to be able to stop her if she goes berserk"

I turned to Zoe, who bloated her cheeks and crossed her arms.

"No offense, by the way"

Zackeroar sighed, and replied
"Fine" as he walked up to get to the monitoring room.

"OK, let's get started, shall we?"

We both stood, looking at each other.

"You're good to go"
Zackeroar said through the comlink.

"All right Zoe. First, come at me with only your fists. I'll go unarmed as well"
I said.

After a short nod, she dashed at me to attempt a right hook. I quickly moved my head to dodge it, and gave her a straight punch to the throat.

Zoe kneeled down, and choked a little, but not for long. She got back up on her feet, and gave me a couple of kicks. I was able to block the first few, but she was able to hit me directly on the right side of my stomach. Damn, that stings.

I eventually grabbed her leg, and flipped her. She landed face down on the ground. With a grunt of pain, she got back up and attempted a scissor kick. I dodged the first kick, and grabbed her leg again as she kicked a second time, and flipped her over again, this time with me using my wind abilities to make her spin a few times in mid-air before she pummeled to the ground.

"You're making your moves too predictable. If you're going to use them, don't put too much motion into it" I warned her as got up.

"Come to think about it, you're younger than me right? How do you know so much about fighting, when you usually use weapons?" Zoe asked.

"I'm experienced as well" I replied. She seemed to smirk at my responce.
I used my electricity powers to teleport right next to her, and told her in a small voice
"Let me show you"

She turned around to punch me, but I quickly teleported backwards, and got ready to attack. I dashed at her, and did my usual combo: a one-two, low kick to the shin, uppercut, kick to the stomach, teleport to the rear, and tornado kick to the head. Zoe wasn't able to react to any of the attacks. She flew to the ground, with a rather loud thud.

"Impressive" announced Zackeroar.

Zoe got up slowly, but something was different about her. As she turned her head around, I realized that her right eye was completely blank.

"It's time show you what I can really do" she said.

I couldn't help myself to grin at the fact that she's giving her all.

"Bring it" I said.

Within a blink, she was gone from my sight. I sensed her from my left, but I was too late. She managed to punch me in the shoulder.
I groaned a little. She knows how to make her hits hurt, I'll give her that.
I took out my kukri and pistol. I'm gonna have to use my weapons if she's going to be jumping around like that.

"I thought you were going unarmed!" yelled Zoe.

"If you're using your "weapon", so am I" I replied.

This time, she came from the right. I dodged her, and shot her in the arm. She groaned in pain as she quickly dashed at me with a hard right hook. I blocked it with my kukri, and she attempted to punch me in the stomach.
I teleported back before she could hit me, and as soon as I saw her stumble, I unloaded the rest of my pistol magazine at her. Zoe looked like she was having a seizure as she took all of the bullets.

She kneeled down, panting from the exhaustion and pain.

"Not too shabby for myself. You alright?" I said, as I reached my hand out to help her up.

She lifted her hand up, but she bit into it. Hard. What happened next astonished me. As well as her bitten hand, her left eye sent down blood. She seemed to put her other ability away though, as her right eye regained it's pupil.

I quickly reloaded my pistol, and shot at her once more, but she deflected it with her arm. That's not good...


The tone of her voice was... different. It was a little deeper, and it seemed to echo throughout the room.

"Calm down Zoe, we don't need to go this far..." I said, trying to calm her down. Even Zackeroar, who wasn't in the room, seemed to be terrified by the state that Zoe was in, as he looked at me in an uncomfortable way.

Suddenly, Zoe gave me a barrage of punches. I wasn't able to block them all, and I eventually got blown away, landing hard on the wall.

She tried to punch me even further into the wall, but I teleported out of the way just in time. Her punch made a humongous crack in the wall. Damn, she means business. I'm glad I paid for those regenerative walls...

I slashed my kukri at her back, but I only managed to make a rip on her coat before she hit me with a backhand. I twitched in pain as I regained my stance from the blow.

I teleported as far as I could from Zoe.
"Looks like I have to go full out as well... Don't hate me for this, OK?" I said to Zoe, as I put away my kukri and pistol. She didn't seem to understand what I meant. She swung her right leg at me with immense speed. But, I summoned my katana between me and Zoe's leg, just in time to block her attack.

As Zoe grabbed her leg in pain, I grabbed hold of my beloved sword, and unsheathed it, strapping the sheath on the side of my belt.

Recovered from the pain, Zoe dashed at me again with a right hook, but I blocked the attack, and hit her on the forehead with the handle of the sword. She stumbled. Now's my chance.

I slashed her diagonally, and gave a roundhouse kick directly to the head. Zoe didn't seem to handle the attacks, and soon fell to the ground.

As I put away my katana, I let out a big sigh. What a fight. And I still can't think of anything good for the song.

I checked my phone for the time. All of this happened in a mere 15 minutes. I looked up at Zackeroar, who seemed to be relieved that I won. I should probably get Zoe back to her room...

But as tried to lift her up, a black aura surrounded the girl. I quickly let go of her, out of astonishment.

To my surprise, Zoe got back up. But, something was wrong with her. Her eyes were... completely black.
Suddenly, a pair of wings grew from her back, as well as a tail with spikes. It was the form that I recognized instantly; it's the form that she was in when I first met her.

In an instant, she was gone. The next thing I knew, I was in the air again, with severe pain on my back. I land on my feet, but Zoe was infront od me immediately, giving a multiple punches and kicks to me. Everywhere on my body started to hurt like no other.

I was coughing up blood after a few more devastating blows. Zoe wasn't herself anymore; she was completely possesed by the devil inside her. I couldn't feel my arms anymore. My katana was no use on her hard skin.

"Aiba, hang on. I'm going down there!" said Zackeroar, who stood up and started running for the door.

I was thinking to myself. Is this the end? Will I be devoured by the beast in front of me, who was once a friend? Suddenly, something clicked inside me.

That would be an awesome theme to create a song about.... Bing!

I have to finish what I've started, both this and the song. I won't let this obstacle get in my way!

"Forgive me for this" I said softly, as I started to pull out the sheath of my sword. Zoe came at me to attack, but I blew her away with the force of wind to get the sheath out.

I threw the sheath in the air.

"Let's rock"

I slashed my sheath, and the sheath started to transform into a body of aura. The aura surrounded the katana, and eventually me.

I really didn't want to do this, but she's left me no choice.

I felt all my wounds disappear, giving the sense of my arms back to me. I held the katana with both hands tightly, and teleported to Zoe's back.

I slashed as many times as I could, successfully hitting her with each blow. She roared in pain, and tried to grab me, but quickly dodged her, and slashed off one of her wings. As her scream of pain became louder, I saw the chance to finish her off.

"I hope this works again..." I said to myself as I took off my jacket, leaving Zoe crying from pain, holding the part of her back where her wing used to be.

I teleported to her rear again, and covered her eyes with my jacket. Zoe was desperately trying to get me off her back, but I felt her slowly losing her powers, as her wings and tail started to fade. By the time she was on the ground, Zoe was back to her normal state, with many slash wounds on her. I got up, and went to check her pulse.

"...Good, she's alive"

Suddenly, Zackeroar busted into the room with his sword and shield in his hands.

"I'm here to he... What the..."

I weakly grinned at him, saying
"You're way too late, brother"

As I confirmed that Zoe was unconscious, I carried her on my back, to get her medical attention. Charlie would know what to do.

I was siting in a chair right next to Zoe's bed when she woke up, as well as the others.

She looked around in confusion, possibly from remembering only from when she was in the training room.

"Where... where am I?" she said.

"You're in your own room, silly" said Vamprina, who held out a basket with fruits in it to Zoe.

Zoe buried her head into her hands, sobbing softly.
"So that means.... Oh no, I did it again... I still can't control it"

I kneeled down beside her bed, and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe not yet. But, everyone here is doing their best to find a solution"

She lifted her head up, and said
"What are the solutions? Locking me up in here so you don't deal with me? Or cutting my arms off so I wouldn't harm anyone?"
She was csobbing out loud now.

I let go of Zoe's shoulder.
"No. Nothing is solid yet. But, we promise that we will never let you put yourself down, and we won't treat you how the people you've met before had. As clan members and friends, we will always be by your side when you need help. So don't you EVER think that we'll do anything horrible to you"

Suddenly, Zoe reached out her arms for me. I simply sat still as she
wrapped her bandaged arms around me. She hugged me tightly, still crying out loud.

"D'aaaaw, that's cute" Charlie teasingly said.

I gave him a look, and he simply raised his hands.
Zoe released me, and reset herself on the bed.
"Thank you Aiba... It's really good to see you alive" she said, giving me a grin.

"You too. By the way, I finished the song. Wanna hear it?"

Zoe nodded. I got up and plugged my phone into Zoe's stereo, and played the song. I made the song a slow and emotional one. All of us listened quietly as the soft sound of the acoustic guitar swifted through the room.

The Burden.
The light rain showered into the canopy of darkness that the trees created. The light drops of water rolled delicately off the leaves and wet the forest floor below. A grey haired boy walked through the darkness of the woods. The stormy clouds over head let out a bellowing clap of thunder that foretold more rain. The boy was searching for someone. A friend. It pained him when she left without telling anyone, but he understood why she did.
A small figure was curled under the shelter of a large tree. Her loose black hair was wet from the rain and covered her delicate facial features. Her face was buried in her knees that she so tightly held to her chest. The boy wiped his wet hair off of his brow and to the side as he sat his slim, yet tone, figure on a log a few feet from her.
“You shouldn’t have followed me Aiba.” The girl said softly from her nook at the base of the tree. She was hardly audible from the sound of the rain pattering on the leaves overhead.
“You should have stayed Zoe.” The boy replied. “People care about you now. The whole team does. You don’t have to do this alone.” Aiba repositioned himself on the wet log. The rain began to intensify.
“You don’t understand Aiba. None of you do!” Zoe said as tears formed in her eye’s. She loved the rain, because then nobody could tell she was crying. It showed less weakness than she was already displaying. “You don’t have to live with being a monster!”
“Maybe not, but we still want to help!” Aiba replied as he stood up from his seat with emotion.
“You CAN’T.” She said as she looked up at her friend. “There is no way you can help me! What are you going to do, cage me? Drug me? Make sure I’m not ever conscious to do the things that I do when I turn into that….thing?” She asked, emotion making her voice break periodically. “I have to go about every day knowing that I may lose control. That I may destroy people and end lives. How could you ever relate to that? None of you can. And none of you can stop me either!”
Aiba began to pace in thought. He was frustrated at the truth in her words. He was confident in his abilities as a fighter, but he knew Zoe’s hidden potential. He would never know for sure if he could defeat her if she ever fully transformed into a demon or angel.
“We can stop you! We can detain you, we can…” He was running out of explanations.
“See? You know it. I can’t...I should go.” She said as she stood up and wiped the tears from her eye’s. The rain began to pour, soaking their already damp clothing. Zoe’s black, long sleeve shirt stuck tightly to her body, and her casual blue jeans were darkened from the moisture. Her silky, wet hair covered the left side of her face as she began to turn and leave.
Aiba grabbed her wrist.
“I can’t let you go off on your own.” He said relatively sternly. “You know what would happen if-”
“If what Aiba?” She interrupted. “If i transformed? Lost control? Killed people?” She broke his hold on her wrist and turned to face him and take out her frustration on him.
“I know what I’m capable of! I’m not a mistake or something that you can just ignore. I have never had friends for more than a month at a time! You know why Aiba? They’re dead! Everyone I befriend either leaves or dies! Sometimes by my own hands!” She was screaming now.
“I understand-”
“No, you don’t!” She interrupted again. “Do you wake up in a pool of blood with your friends corpse laying by you torn apart with no memory of what happened? Do you fall into a coma for weeks at a time because you became something you have no control of? Have you ever killed innocent people and had absolutely no memory of it. Your back doesn’t bloodily sprout wings and cause scars, and I’m sure as hell you have never had to leave the people you love for the sole sake of not killing them. I don’t want to hurt you Aiba, and this way, I’ll never be able to.”
Aiba grew silent. She had made her point.
“So what, you’re giving up?” Aiba asked as the rain continued to pour on them. Streams of water ran down their faces like small rivers. Some of Zoe’s rivers contained more than water however, as she tried to hide how emotional she was truly getting.
“Maybe I am Aiba. Maybe I am.” She said with a sigh. “Just...don’t follow me.”
He grabbed her wrist again as she tried to turn and leave a second time. He had a grim look on his face. There was one thing he needed to make sure of before he lost his friend. It wouldn’t be easy, but he needed to prove something.
“Fight me.” he said as he looked up and smiled. “You say I can’t stop you, prove it.”
Zoe chuckled at his request. She wasn’t emotionally stable, but a good workout would clear her head as she considered it. No. She didn’t need to grow more attached to Aiba than she already was. This was already painful.
“Stop trying to make me stay Aiba. Leave me alone. Thank you for everything you’ve given me. It was nice to have a friend.” She replied as she broke free from his grasp once again.
Aiba knew he would have to push her buttons to make this happen. He prepared for the worst as he carefully constructed his next few sentences. She began to walk away and the rain intensified yet again.
“You are weak.” Aiba said.
She stopped in her tracks. Her fist’s clenched at hearing the words. He was walking on thin ice.
“You have all this power, but you have no control over it despite what you’ve done. And now you’re giving up entirely. I thought you were stronger than that Zoe.”
She turned with lightning speed and the back of her fist collided with Aiba’s mouth. His head turned from the extremely swift blow as he stumbled back a few feet from the disorienting hit. He wiped the trickle of blood from his bleeding lip.
“Weak?! After all the encouragement and all the support, that’s what i get from you!?” She punched a tree with such force that the bark shattered. Her eye began to bleed.
“This is what I get!?” She screamed, losing control of herself. “After everything we’ve been through, I’m weak?”
“Prove me wrong.” Aiba said calmly with a cold tone to his voice. He readied his stance and prepared to test his strength. “Show me otherwise.”
“I’m stronger than you will EVER be!” She screamed with a mixture of blood and tears streaming from her eyes. She swung her fist in a rage at Aiba, He caught her fist easily with his left hand and smiled at her.
“That all you got?” He said. Now she was furious.
Her martial arts training kicked in. She analyzed his stance and figured out 4 different moves to throw him off balance and mentally selected one. She opened her hand in his, grabbing his wrist in the movement. She pushed his arm back, naturally forcing him to resist and push forward to keep his balance. In the split second he did that, she used the slight momentum to pull his arm over her shoulder and threw him into a tree. His back slammed into it painfully and he smashed into the muddy floor. He hopped to his feet, but she was already in pursuit to inflict further pain.
She threw another powerful punch, this time with enough force to uproot a tree. Literally. She missed Aiba and hit the tree behind him with such force that it slightly uprooted the large natural structure. Her eye was bleeding more and more. He had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but perhaps it was necessary.
“I trusted you Aiba!” She yelled in her rage, her tone getting darker. “I’ll show you what true strength is!”
“Try me.” Aiba said as he conjured his true power. The thunder above crashed and more rain poured on their heads. A bolt shot from the sky and struck Aiba, charging him up with power. Electricity crackled around him as the raw energy coursed through him.
“No…” Zoe said reluctantly. “No, I can’t fight you. I won’t kill you.” She said as she held her eye and tried to fight the eminent transformation. “I will….no...I can’t…” She fought the voices swirling in her head. She struggled against the force that was trying to force her usual personality out of her own head.
“You can control it, but will you?” Aiba asked, his body crackling with power. “The choice is yours.”
“Shut up!” She screamed at him as she fought the voices. “You...will never...understand!”
She lost control and her eyes turned black as they bled down her face. She screamed as the bloody wings sprouted from her back. They dripped crimson red and revealed smooth black feathers, but the pouring rain washed them off relatively quickly. They flapped down, throwing water off of them elegantly, despite her terrifying new form.
Aiba closed his eyes and concentrated on using his power. Ha manipulated the wind around him and sent a concussive blast toward the demonic creature. It violently tore branches off of the trees behind her, flinging them into the air. Despite it’s destructive force, it did little more than toss her hair back and force her wings to contract.
“You are weak.” The demon said. “And you will die for your insult.” She leaped forward, using the wings to propel her with incredible speed. She grabbed him by the throat faster than he could react and threw him violently into the heart of the forest. Aiba limply flew through the tree’s, smashing through trunks and flipping about, until finally sliding to a stop. He got up and saw a red glow emanating from Zoe’s eyes.
“Oh shit!” He said right before flinging himself out of the way of a destructive laser beam that cleanly sliced through the tree behind him, setting it ablaze.
“Dance weakling.” Zoe said evilly. She swiveled her head and swung the destructive beams towards Aiba’s legs, forcing him to jump into the air. He used his control of the wind to propel himself into the air. He summoned his sword in his right hand. The energy crackled in the air at bringing the powerful weapon into the world at his will. He was getting serious.
“That it?” he said in the air. “I’ll show you true strength!” He yelled as he launched himself at her with the speed of a bullet. He slashed downward with enough force to slice through a metal cross beam in half, but Zoe simply lifted her arm to block the sword as if it were made of plastic. The collision of the steel and her diamond hard, demonic skin, created a small shockwave the shook the trees around them.
Zoe laughed in her demonic voice. She flicked her arm to the side, knocking the powerful sword out of his hand as if it weighed nothing. It flew through the air and stuck into a nearby tree.
Zoe reached down and grabbed Aiba by his ankle, sweeping him off his feet and hanging him upside down like a doll. She swung him around and flung him into the air like a toy. He went soaring into the stormy clouds. He kept going upward until finally breaking through the barrier of clouds and revealed a clear blue sky. He almost enjoyed the magnificent view of the large, thundering clouds accompanied by the sharp blue sky overhead.
Zoe emerged from the clouds before Aiba could blink and her fist rose into his abdomen, shattering a few ribs with the impact. He coughed up blood as Zoe caught him by his neck once again. She began squeezing, restricting the airflow to his lungs.
“Zoe…” He whispered through his teeth as he used all of strength in a vain attempt to loosen her death grip around his throat.
“Now you die.” The demon said as her iron grip steadily increased in pressure.
“I’m sorry for this.” AIba said quietly. He channeled electric energy through his hands and clamped them over Zoe’s eyes, shocking her. She screamed and dropped Aiba. He fell back through the clouds toward the earth, steadily gaining speed. The fall would be fatal, and the ground rapidly approached.
Suddenly, a blur of wings swiped Aiba out of the air. The figure spun around in mid air and landed with its back toward the ground as they smashed through a few tree branches before the crushing impact with the earth arrived. The scarred forest’s tree’s were disfigured from the crater they left. Aiba rolled off his saviors figure and breathed in a breath of sharp air. He looked over to find Zoe’s black eyes staring blankly into the sky. She had saved him despite threatening to kill him.
“Zoe?” Aiba asked as he slowly rose to his feet. He slowly reached for her arm in an attempt to help her up, when she suddenly grabbed his arm with a crushing force. She pushed herself to her feet with her wings and squeezed his arm tighter.
“Why did you save me Zoe?” Aiba asked as he ignored the pain in wrist she was inflicting. “Why save me if you want to kill me?”
“Weakling, I will erase you from existence.” Zoe said evilly.
“I know you’re in there Zoe! If you wanted me dead you would have done it. You are by far the strongest person I know! You need to regain control!” He screamed into her black, almost lifeless eye’s.
She crushed the bone in his wrist with a snap. He clenched his eye’s closed and resisted crying out in pain, but his will was stronger than most. It would take more than that to break Aiba.
“Fight it dammit!” He said with tears in his eyes, still fighting the pain. “This isn’t who you are! You have to control it Zoe!”
Zoe’s eyes began to bleed profusely once again. She used her free hand to wipe it, smearing blood across her face.
“Aiba….?” Zoe said in her natural voice. Her grip on his wrist tightened, further crushing the bones. He winced at the pain.
“Help...me.” She said in a helpless voice, despite her demonic appearance. “Get away from me...please….run.”
“Never.” AIba said confidently. “If I die, it’s here by your hand.”
“No!...Please….” She said. Her grip slightly loosened. “I can’t….do this...any longer…” Her eyes held his gaze, despite being completely black.
“Zoe close your eyes.” Aiba said. “It’s ok. I know you can.”
Zoe let go of his wrist, and her clawed hands dug into her head as she fought the urge to tear him apart.
“Stop! Go away! Get the hell out of my head!” She screamed to herself. One eye reverted back to normal, but the wings and claws on her hands remained.
Aiba forced his broken wrist out of his grasp and hugged her tightly. The shocking action caught Zoe off guard and she remained still. Blood that once streamed out of her eyes turned into tears as her other eye reverted back to its normal, piercing blue state.
“I’m sorry Zoe.” Aiba whispered to her. “I’m so sorry.”
The black, feathered wings on her back turned to dust and were blown away in the soft breeze. The rain reduced to a drizzle and lightly sprinkled over the two friends heads. Zoe began to lose consciousness and her weight leaned forward into Aiba as her knees began to give way. He gently kneeled with her and let her weight rest into his shoulder. She was completely human again. She slowly opened her eyes before realizing what had happened. She had won.
“Aiba I….” She began. “Thank you.”
Aiba helped her stand, making sure she didn’t fall from the intense headache that now rang in Zoe’s head. The rain stopped and the sun shined through the stormy clouds. Her tears were now clearly visible. She lost control, but this time of only her emotions. She began to cry uncontrollably and flung herself back into Aiba’s arms. He held her head and comforted her silently. She had learned to share her burden for the first time in her life. He smiled as he held her close to him.
“Let’s head back and get out of these wet clothes.” He suggested. As they broke their embrace. He straightened the broken bone in his wrist, silently flinching at the sharp pain that shot up his arm.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” Zoe said through her tears. “I never wanted to-”
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for any of this.” AIba said sternly. “Or anyone you’ve ever killed or hurt while like that. That isn’t you, and don’t you even think about believing otherwise.” He touched the side of her cheek kindly. “This is you. Not that other thing. Eventually we’ll learn how to control it, but we’ll take it one step at a time.
She smiled as he lowered his hand and continued attending to his wrist. Aiba was truly different than anybody she had ever encountered before. Maybe one day she would let go of the guilt, but for now, it was nice to know somebody else was willing to share the burden with her.

06-13-2014, 02:13 PM
For me, it has the makings of a good fight. You just need a bit more description. There are parts that could have used it and would have added more flavor to the battle. Also I noticed that you entered the 'said' bits from their partner dialogue. It'd be better if they're in the same paragraph. And on Zoe screaming, its just personal preference but placing "AHHH" doesn't sit right with me. I'd rather write it out since its like a sound rather than speech.

Awesome man. Good descriptions and a fight scene that had enough action in it. Just enough to keep me reading. I like how you write so far, my friend. The only thing is that you should space out your paragraphs to make it look neater. Its avoid making it look like a massive block of text when its actually smaller paragraphs. You got my vote, Cruel.

06-13-2014, 05:17 PM
For me, it has the makings of a good fight. You just need a bit more description. There are parts that could have used it and would have added more flavor to the battle. Also I noticed that you entered the 'said' bits from their partner dialogue. It'd be better if they're in the same paragraph. And on Zoe screaming, its just personal preference but placing "AHHH" doesn't sit right with me. I'd rather write it out since its like a sound rather than speech.

Awesome man. Good descriptions and a fight scene that had enough action in it. Just enough to keep me reading. I like how you write so far, my friend. The only thing is that you should space out your paragraphs to make it look neater. Its avoid making it look like a massive block of text when its actually smaller paragraphs. You got my vote, Cruel.

Well it was spaced out evenly on Google Docs, but i guess when it got copied and pasted it lost its format. Thank you! I enjoyed writing this one.

And by the way Ken, I thoroughly enjoy your dialog in your battles.

06-20-2014, 08:29 AM
Well, another spectacular tie. Good work Cruel, it was an honor battling you.