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View Full Version : wRHG Battle: Soulfire vs. Omega



Malacal
02-01-2015, 09:19 PM
Welcome ladies and gents to another wRHG battle! Today we witness the creation of the Earth's core versus an alien conqueror.
There is something exceptionally poetic about that.

Two figures stood in the center of a large grass field. It was midday and a light wind bent the grasses and waved the trees. The field was nearly perfectly circular and went out from the center to a twenty foot radius. Surrounding that was a thick forest. To the north was a small town, to the south; a thirty foot cliff that lead to more forest. On the east and west were two hills that meandered on into mountains. The perfect battleground, The figure on the left thought, except there’s no lava.
“I’ve heard of you,” the left figure said aloud. “Omega, the Usurper King!” He giggled softly. “I’ve heard that you were a god.”
“...were?” Omega questioned. He was seated on four of eight of the tentacles attached to his back. They curved outward and reached deep into the ground. The other four were poised in the air, ready to strike.
“Yes, quite,” The figure said. “I heard you used to sit on a throne with people to cater to your every need!” The figure crossed his arms. Omega gritted his teeth. “Well your reign is over,” the figure said, raising up in the air as fire jetted from his feet, “and you’re about to be dethroned... by me!”
Omega took the insult, unshaken. “You may have heard of me, but I have never heard of you,” He spat.
“Well you’re about to,” The figure countered. “My name is Soulfire, and I'm about to become your murderer.”
“Soulfire, your insolence amuses me,” Omega said giving a chuckle. “You seem to know my name, but you must know nothing of my skills.” At that, Omega sent a tentacle speeding at Soulfire. It struck him in the chest and smashed him into a tree at the edge of the clearing. The tree gave way and fell over. The tentacle retracted slowly and left Soulfire laying on the tree, a hole in his chest. “See? I've already won.” Omega said. “I hate humans. So weak and vulnerable. So easy to crush like a grape between my teeth.”
Soulfire sat for a second and then rolled over onto the ground. Omega looked at him with a stone gaze and watched him stand up. He was puzzled, but unfazed. “So you’re not a human then. No matter, you will be just as easy to snap like a twig.” As soon as Soulfire was on his feet, Omega punished him with four tentacles at once, each one stabbing into an appendage. Soulfire looked up at him, and giggled. Omega’s eyes widened and he screamed as he stabbed Soulfire’s body repeatedly. Most hits struck Soulfire’s heart while the rest struck his body. Omega was sure he could kill this fiend without taking the easy target... his head.
Soulfire’s body was flattened when the barrage finally ended. Omega’s tentacles slowly retracted back toward him. There was glowing orange lava splattered everywhere. It started a small fire on the tree that was felled behind the broken Soulfire. Omega’s four tentacles were steaming and were no longer sharp spikes, but nubbs. Omega observed them slowly rotating each one. He was in slight pain, but he was absolutely sure that he had killed Soulfire. Thats when he heard the laughter.
The lava on the ground flowed toward Soulfire’s body, rejuvenating him. Omega stared, confused, as Soulfire’s body slowly reformed, puffing him back up. When all the cracks had sealed, Soulfire stood up.
His laughter ceased. “You really need to research your opponent before you fight him. If you had, you’d know that I can only be killed by a head puncture.”
“It seems I don't have to if you are going to give me all the answers,” Omega said as he sent a tentacle at Soulfire’s head. Soulfire ducked just in time as the tendril struck a tree behind him and sent it flying at the distant hill. Soulfire took this opportunity to form his shield, but he would need more time. He finished the center of the shield and sharpened the edges more than usual so he could use it to slice his opponent. Omega sent another tentacle his way and it met with hard obsidian, sending off sparks.
Even with the shield, Soulfire was pushed backwards at least ten feet, leaving two lines in the ground. He knew that from this point on, every attack would be pointed at his head. Me and my big mouth, He thought. He decided his best defense would be a good offense.
Soulfire pushed off the ground, flying into the air with fire jetting out of his feet. Three more tentacles were sent his way. He spun in the air, narrowly avoiding all three as they scraped against his shield. He shot toward Omega, shield first, slamming into his head. Omega stood his ground, not even reacting. Omega took a swing with his fist at Soulfire who jumped back. He flew forward again trying to slice through a tendril with his shield. His shield met one, and shattered. The skin of the tendril shattered as well and underneath was a pulsating red muscle.
Letting out a small cry, Omega took a step back. So your skin is brittle in some places? Soulfire thought. I think I’ll take advantage of that. Soulfire started forming his hammer as Omega focussed on healing his wound. It was almost fully healed when Soulfire finished. Soulfire brought the hammer back toward his left shoulder and stepped back with his left foot. His knees were slightly bent as he stared directly into Omega’s soul.
Omega turned to look just in time to see the face of the hammer before it broke his nose. Omega was sent flailing backwards into a tree on the other side of the clearing. He smashed into it back first, sending wood splinters everywhere. He fell to the ground stunned, as Soulfire came at him.
Soulfire was already halfway there. Running at full speed, still staring into the eyes of Omega. And for the first time, Soulfire saw what he needed to see to know that he would win. Omega’s eyes were pools of fear. It was quickly replaced by anger and determination but that small moment of fear was the look Soulfire knew best. The look that determined who was the predator and who was the prey… and Soulfire wasn't the prey.
Omega got up on four tentacles and took off into the forest. Soulfire lost him after four seconds. He had disappeared into the trees. How can something that big disappear so fast?[/I] Soulfire crouched down and listened closely. He could hear the creature’s footsteps… or tentacle steps. The sound was getting softer.
“Your cowardice sickens me Omega. I thought you were a warrior god!” Soulfire shouted.
“I believe the correct term is tactics, not cowardice.” Omega said from somewhere to the right of Soulfire. Now he had a direction in which to go. Soulfire decided to try to sneak up on Omega by going left and back around. He started to the left and ran through the forest for about five minutes. Then he turned to the right. He was almost fifty percent sure that Omega didn't know where he was. He was wrong.
Omega struck from the trees, sending six tentacles at him. Soulfire bashed and batted at the tendrils. They attempted to smack him all at different times. It was as if each had a mind of its own. He took the ends of the handle of his hammer and blocked the tendrils as if it was a staff. One came down from above, knocking him to the ground. The rest came down as a wall, attempting to cut his body in half. Soulfire brought up his hammer and blocked all six at once. He held on as the appendages persisted.
Omega walked out of the forest to Soulfire’s right. He was actually walking on his legs, his other two tentacles poised in the air. One of them was the one Soulfire shattered. It was almost fully healed but omega was staying off of it for now.
“Oh, hello Soulfire, I didn't see you there.” Now it was Soulfire’s chance to grit his teeth as Omega grinned. “But, since you’re here, I would like to introduce you to my little friend. Out from behind him rose a glowing halo. “This is the Omega halo. An its going to kill you.”
The disc flew at Soulfire. It cut off one of his legs and was coming back. Soulfire wasn't sure what he was going to do. He heard a small snap and looked up at his hammer. There were more breaking sounds followed by the development of visible cracks. Soulfire looked at Omega. He had a mad hunger in his eyes, but his face was stone cold. He would never show his enemy that he was involved. The disk was coming back. It hummed as it cut through the air. Soulfire felt his leg was almost finished healing. He needed two more seconds. Two… One… GO! Then, Soulfire let go of the hammer.
His feet jets went on as his hands left the hammer and he flew backwards. The hammer came down, cutting off his feet and the halo cut him at the hip… where his head had been a second ago. He flew into the forest and watched the surprise in Omega’s eyes as the top of his body disappeared into the forest.
Soulfire hit the ground and rolled over a couple of times and smacked his back and head against a tree.
“Ow. That actually hurt,” He said. He realized he had a little time to think while he regenerated. He contemplated about his enemy. “Okay, here’s what I know. He has eight tentacles he uses more than anything else. His skin is metal, is brittle around the stiff parts, and might melt. He has a flying halo I assume he controls with his mind. He may have other powers i don't know about, and I’m in the middle of a forest… trying to defeat a warrior god.” He was frustrated. Omega might have more power than me, Soulfire thought. His legs had healed so he pushed himself up. There are still some things I can try, melting, slicing… but where would I cut? Wait! Near his joints. He has the be able to bend his arms and legs. The metal might be softer there. Its worth a shot, He thought.
Soulfire’s hand bubbled and boiled with lava, slowly dispensing as he shot cold ash at it. it formed a point and the widened forming a hand guard and hilt. The sound was getting louder. Soulfire finished off the end and took a stance. His hands clasped the hilt as he brought the sword back and to the left.
After a second, Omega ha appeared through the trees. He saw Soulfire, and stopped. Leaning back into his tentacles, he crossed his arms.
What is he doing? Soulfire thought. Is he really that confident that he is going to win?
“If you wish to know,” said Omega, “I expect to kill you in the next five minutes.” A tentacle curled up into the air as he spoke. As soon as he finished, it flew at Soulfire’s head. He jumped up high, the tentacle passing under him. He landed on the tentacle and ran along it toward the Usurper. the king sent another tentacle aimed at Soulfire’s head. Soulfire did a backflip jump over the tendril, landed, and kept running. He winked at Omega and smiled.
He is showing off? Omega questioned in thought. What insolence!
Soulfire didn't show it, but he was getting tired, and by the looks of it, he just made his enemy more dangerous. Good job Soulfire, just, great frickin job, Soulfire thought.
Soulfire was halfway there. Omega sent two tentacles this time, one above Soulfire’s head and one at his stomach. Soulfire slid under both tendrils, shooting fire at the one above his head. Soulfire then brought that hand back under him and used the flame to keep sliding forward. He looked back and saw all the tentacles were coming back. Soulfire decided to jump off. Soulfire brought the flaming hand to the left to rotate that way and shot jets of fire out of his feet, propelling himself that direction. Omega sent the halo after him. Soulfire did a backflip, dodging it, and landed on his feet. Looking at Omega, he saw something he didn’t expect to see… water. It splashed Soulfire’s body. He screamed out in pain as the front of his body hardened into obsidian.
Where did that water come from? Soulfire thought. He looked and saw Omega’s hand extended in his direction.
“I bet you didn't know I had elemental powers,” Omega taunted.
“That won't change anything.” Soulfire countered. “I will win, and you will lose.” His eyes were filled with fiery determination. He knew he could win, and he would.
“Your determination baffles me Soulfire.” Omega said. He sent a tendril at his chest, shattering the obsidian and sending him flailing backwards onto the ground. Soulfire slowly got up. Now he had to dodge two obstacles. Soulfire took a second to prepare and realized he was panting. This would have to be his last ditch effort. Here I go!
Soulfire shot a wide and steady stream at the Usurper King. It was like a big shield, blocking any water attack. Soulfire slowly walked forward and picked up his sword, then jumped.
Omega was engulfed in flames, but he was not in pain. He couldn't see, and he didn't like that. Suddenly, the flame receded and disappeared. Soulfire was nowhere to be seen. Where is he! Omega thought. He looked up and saw nothing. Then he heard the voice of his own death from behind.
“Peek-a-boo.” Soulfire stabbed the joint of Omega’s knee. He had jumped up over Omega and landed silently behind him. Omega screamed in pain. Soulfire stabbed his other knee joint and he screamed again. The four tentacles Omega had sent forward before had finally returned and were all sent at Soulfire. He jumped up, using Omega’s head as a pedestal and hand flipped over him, spinning and leaving a gash in the side of the Usurper's neck. Soulfire stabbed both of Omega’s arm joints and jumped back, admiring his work. Omega reared back, bringing his hand up to his neck. Everything he moved hurt. His own skin was cutting into him at the joints. Soulfire brought the sword back. He watched Omega for a second. He almost felt bad for the creature… almost. Soulfire rushed forward, sword poised. The last expression Omega made was the expression Soulfire knew the best. The fear of the prey when looking at the predator.
Soulfire stabbed the sword through his neck. It came out the other side. He slowly removed it and watched the death of Omega, choking on his own blood. Omega’s body went limp and fell to the ground.
Soulfire stood for awhile, panting. He figured he should say something to commemorate his fallen enemy. He found the perfect line.
“You insolent fool.”

Omega found himself leaving a burnt-down forest. It was engulfed as though an enraged demon had gained dominion just long enough to leave a mark on the world. The crimson flames were pillars desperately reaching upward to attack heaven and the ash a blight to choke out the living. Omega could not help but feel a little lighter in his heart knowing he had created a furnace as evidence of his rage.
After his battle with the blasted mage, Mancer, he couldn’t help but burn every forest he saw. Which was odd, considering he died by his face fusing with a floor, not a forest explosion. He decided that it must be an alternate universe thing, something bad happened in a forest in another plane of existence and it spilled over to this timeline. But, this was just a theory.
Normally, dying is a very permanent thing, not for Omega though. Graced by alien technology and biology, he had numerous features that kept him alive, one of these being the ability to recover from any injury given in about twelve hours. This in addition to his skin being made of metal and having multiple limbs to use to avoid bad situations, makes him especially hard to permanently kill.
After a few hours of untiringly walking, he encountered an individual who had spoken the kindest greeting Omega had heard in his life, “What in the volcano’s name are you?!”
This particular individual looked quite young. He had spiky black hair and wore a trench coat. Said coat contained red highlights over a variety of areas and had clasps instead of buttons or a zipper. He also wore khakis. Along with this attire, he had fingerless gloves with holes in the palms.
“I have many titles. Conqueror, immortal, king, emperor, the annihilator, the god of slaughter, but I give you the leisure to call me Omega. You may now thank me for my benevolence in making life easier for you,” Omega stood at his full height, an impressive six-foot six-inches. Something else was revealed that earlier was not, a golden circular object with eight tentacles originating in the center and extending outward. Omega himself also had eight tentacles attached to his back that he was now flaring outwards to make himself look larger, which he desperately needed with his thin frame.
“No, I don’t care about your name. You’re made of metal, are you a robot?” the boy was examining the emperor closely now, looking to see what other wacky features he may have.
“I’m what your kind would call an alien-”
“-So you’re saying if I beat you I’d be the best person on Mars and Earth?” the human cut in before Omega could go on to explain anything else.
“I’m not a Martian, I destroyed Mars’ lifeforms a long time ago.”
“Name’s Soulfire, and I’m going to take your title as the best on Mars”
“Your mortal ignorance will lead to your down-” Omega was greeted with a flying kick. He sidestepped and attempted to catch Soulfire with his tentacles. Upon making contact, the immortal felt the metal on his tentacles warping from the sheer heat of the stranger’s body. What shocked the alien even more was that his tentacles passed right through the teenager’s body as though it was a thick liquid, “-…fall?”
Soulfire turned around with a grin on his face, “Shocked? I am no mere mortal, as you so stupidly called me; I am the child of the volcano, an immortal champion made by the Earth!” As he finished his statement, lava began bursting from the ground as though it had been waiting for centuries to burst forth and engulf all who dared to enter this field. In mere seconds, half the field was covered in lava and was rapidly spreading.
It occurred to the conqueror that this was planned, although not necessarily for him. An unfair battleground is what this child had wanted all along. He had walked straight into a trap right after having already died; Earth’s inhabitants were proving to be very difficult to deal with at a worrisome rate. Seething with rage, Omega slowly grabbed a hold of the circular object behind him and poised his tentacles to strike as he calmly advanced towards the volcano’s champion, “You dare. You dare to attack me in a fixed arena for your own pitiful pride? You dare to use cheap cheats to try and conquer a king? You dare to dishonorably fight within my presence? The presence of a GOD?!”
The tentacles darted forth seeking revenge and the annihilator of mortals ran forth with them, his feet expelling water turning the earth’s burning essence into stepping stones, “One of Earth’s gods could walk on water; I can walk on lava!”
Soulfire’s mouth turned upward into a grin, this was perfect. He stood there in waiting for the “god” to reach him. As Omega closed in on him, he conjured a hammer and shield. The tentacles flying forth connected with the shield and broke it with surprising ease. As the molten shield crumbled, four tentacles grabbed a hold of his arms. Too easy, the child thought to himself as he shot lava out of his right hand melting the tentacles and ripped off the other two with his left. He then sprayed the conqueror’s face full of ash that he shot from his left hand and kicked him square in the chest before ducking down and tripping the alien with a sweeping kick. After all of this abuse, the volcano’s champion placed his foot on Omega’s chest and looked him square in the face, “Do you give up, martian?”
“I told you, I’m not a martian; I. am. a. GOD!” Omega pushed himself upwards utilizing his tentacles and managed to push Soulfire off of him. He then held out his hands and water sprayed forth from his fingertips as he calmed the lava. The two gladiators’ faces exchanged expressions, anger became sadistic joy and sadistic joy, anger.
“Now let’s try this again,” Omega reached for his halo.
“Let’s,” Soulfire manifested a sword and shield.
The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Omega began laughing hysterically, “You think this is a contest.”
Soulfire was perplexed by the alien’s sudden change in attitude, “How can you be so confident in your victory after losing four limbs without even damaging your opponent?”
The alien, still laughing, responded by shooting vast torrents of water at the earth’s creation. At first the shield was enough but Omega coolly and calmly walked over and shattered Soulfire’s shield with his halo and then continued the relentless water hosing. He laughed even as his opponent’s blade bit deep into his flesh, sinking deeper and deeper completely destroying the right side of the slaughterer’s body.
Feeling his body turn to stone and causing him to lose mobility, Soulfire in a desperate attempt quite literally exploded. Magma slowly grew forth and blew outward engulfing all that dared exist near it. Rocks evaporated at the mere touch of the lava and the ground was disappearing rapidly beneath the contestants.
But, the god of slaughter wasn’t finished yet. Omega created water around him and allowed the lava to cool as it came into contact with the shield. As the ground diminished he used his manipulation of earth and pulled the rock up to allow him to fly.
As the nova ended, the mortal fell towards the ground. The annhilator quickly thrust himself at the boy and pinned him to the crater. Water began pouring from the fingertips of the king and the champion of the earth could do nothing but watch and await the inevitable.
At the end of it all, Soulfire was a statue and Omega answered his question, “I’m confident, because I’m a deity and you’re a mere mortal.”
Omega then uppercuted the statue and the head flew high in the air. But before it could return to the earth, Omega caught it and continued walking onwards, not even caring that the right side of his torso was about to fall off.

ryanjr
02-01-2015, 10:00 PM
Here are the pages for each gladiator (for some backstory/abilities):
Soulfire: ryanjr (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?90623-Soulfire)
Omega: Malacal (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?88837-Omega-The-Usurper-King)



Omega found himself leaving a burnt-down forest. It was engulfed as though an enraged demon had gained dominion just long enough to leave a mark on the world. The crimson flames were pillars desperately reaching upward to attack heaven and the ash a blight to choke out the living. Omega could not help but feel a little lighter in his heart knowing he had created a furnace as evidence of his rage.
After his battle with the blasted mage, Mancer, he couldn’t help but burn every forest he saw. Which was odd, considering he died by his face fusing with a floor, not a forest explosion. He decided that it must be an alternate universe thing, something bad happened in a forest in another plane of existence and it spilled over to this timeline. But, this was just a theory.
Normally, dying is a very permanent thing, not for Omega though. Graced by alien technology and biology, he had numerous features that kept him alive, one of these being the ability to recover from any injury given in about twelve hours. This in addition to his skin being made of metal and having multiple limbs to use to avoid bad situations, makes him especially hard to permanently kill.
After a few hours of untiringly walking, he encountered an individual who had spoken the kindest greeting Omega had heard in his life, “What in the volcano’s name are you?!”
This particular individual looked quite young. He had spiky black hair and wore a trench coat. Said coat contained red highlights over a variety of areas and had clasps instead of buttons or a zipper. He also wore khakis. Along with this attire, he had fingerless gloves with holes in the palms.
“I have many titles. Conqueror, immortal, king, emperor, the annihilator, the god of slaughter, but I give you the leisure to call me Omega. You may now thank me for my benevolence in making life easier for you,” Omega stood at his full height, an impressive six-foot six-inches. Something else was revealed that earlier was not, a golden circular object with eight tentacles originating in the center and extending outward. Omega himself also had eight tentacles attached to his back that he was now flaring outwards to make himself look larger, which he desperately needed with his thin frame.
“No, I don’t care about your name. You’re made of metal, are you a robot?” the boy was examining the emperor closely now, looking to see what other wacky features he may have.
“I’m what your kind would call an alien-”
“-So you’re saying if I beat you I’d be the best person on Mars and Earth?” the human cut in before Omega could go on to explain anything else.
“I’m not a Martian, I destroyed Mars’ lifeforms a long time ago.”
“Name’s Soulfire, and I’m going to take your title as the best on Mars”
“Your mortal ignorance will lead to your down-” Omega was greeted with a flying kick. He sidestepped and attempted to catch Soulfire with his tentacles. Upon making contact, the immortal felt the metal on his tentacles warping from the sheer heat of the stranger’s body. What shocked the alien even more was that his tentacles passed right through the teenager’s body as though it was a thick liquid, “-…fall?”
Soulfire turned around with a grin on his face, “Shocked? I am no mere mortal, as you so stupidly called me; I am the child of the volcano, an immortal champion made by the Earth!” As he finished his statement, lava began bursting from the ground as though it had been waiting for centuries to burst forth and engulf all who dared to enter this field. In mere seconds, half the field was covered in lava and was rapidly spreading.
It occurred to the conqueror that this was planned, although not necessarily for him. An unfair battleground is what this child had wanted all along. He had walked straight into a trap right after having already died; Earth’s inhabitants were proving to be very difficult to deal with at a worrisome rate. Seething with rage, Omega slowly grabbed a hold of the circular object behind him and poised his tentacles to strike as he calmly advanced towards the volcano’s champion, “You dare. You dare to attack me in a fixed arena for your own pitiful pride? You dare to use cheap cheats to try and conquer a king? You dare to dishonorably fight within my presence? The presence of a GOD?!”
The tentacles darted forth seeking revenge and the annihilator of mortals ran forth with them, his feet expelling water turning the earth’s burning essence into stepping stones, “One of Earth’s gods could walk on water; I can walk on lava!”
Soulfire’s mouth turned upward into a grin, this was perfect. He stood there in waiting for the “god” to reach him. As Omega closed in on him, he conjured a hammer and shield. The tentacles flying forth connected with the shield and broke it with surprising ease. As the molten shield crumbled, four tentacles grabbed a hold of his arms. Too easy, the child thought to himself as he shot lava out of his right hand melting the tentacles and ripped off the other two with his left. He then sprayed the conqueror’s face full of ash that he shot from his left hand and kicked him square in the chest before ducking down and tripping the alien with a sweeping kick. After all of this abuse, the volcano’s champion placed his foot on Omega’s chest and looked him square in the face, “Do you give up, martian?”
“I told you, I’m not a martian; I. am. a. GOD!” Omega pushed himself upwards utilizing his tentacles and managed to push Soulfire off of him. He then held out his hands and water sprayed forth from his fingertips as he calmed the lava. The two gladiators’ faces exchanged expressions, anger became sadistic joy and sadistic joy, anger.
“Now let’s try this again,” Omega reached for his halo.
“Let’s,” Soulfire manifested a sword and shield.
The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Omega began laughing hysterically, “You think this is a contest.”
Soulfire was perplexed by the alien’s sudden change in attitude, “How can you be so confident in your victory after losing four limbs without even damaging your opponent?”
The alien, still laughing, responded by shooting vast torrents of water at the earth’s creation. At first the shield was enough but Omega coolly and calmly walked over and shattered Soulfire’s shield with his halo and then continued the relentless water hosing. He laughed even as his opponent’s blade bit deep into his flesh, sinking deeper and deeper completely destroying the right side of the slaughterer’s body.
Feeling his body turn to stone and causing him to lose mobility, Soulfire in a desperate attempt quite literally exploded. Magma slowly grew forth and blew outward engulfing all that dared exist near it. Rocks evaporated at the mere touch of the lava and the ground was disappearing rapidly beneath the contestants.
But, the god of slaughter wasn’t finished yet. Omega created water around him and allowed the lava to cool as it came into contact with the shield. As the ground diminished he used his manipulation of earth and pulled the rock up to allow him to fly.
As the nova ended, the mortal fell towards the ground. The annhilator quickly thrust himself at the boy and pinned him to the crater. Water began pouring from the fingertips of the king and the champion of the earth could do nothing but watch and await the inevitable.
At the end of it all, Soulfire was a statue and Omega answered his question, “I’m confident, because I’m a deity and you’re a mere mortal.”
Omega then uppercuted the statue and the head flew high in the air. But before it could return to the earth, Omega caught it and continued walking onwards, not even caring that the right side of his torso was about to fall off.


Apparently, there are some things I need to clarify on my WRHG page. I like your idea and representation of my character, but thats not how he "is". This is going to be a good battle.

Vern
02-05-2015, 03:05 PM
Aight, I'm not so good at this so don't hate me for it, but nevertheless, here we go :

My opinions on the works of both parties are as following :


A solid battle my friend. You managed to grab my attention immediately after the first sentence and I think that counts for something.

With that said, I am not one very proficient in pointing out every positive detail so just keep in mind I appreciated the story and stuffs so don't worry about that.
The things that did (somewhat) bother me are as follows :
First of all, while I did get the feeling your story started off great, I somehow felt as if it took a dip in quality towards the ending. I'm not exactly good at this so bear with me. In the beginning it seemed as if the battle was going to be a big fight with lots of ups and downs all along. While I did notice your attempts at balancing the odds out I still somewhat felt as if Soulfire had it all planned out already and he did seem a tad bit too strong at some points. Again, that is my opinion and i myself am guilty of doing things like this just as much.

Now concerning Omega, while I do feel as if you portrayed him and his personality quite well, to me it does seem as if he is simultaneously insanely overconfident and weak. While (from the looks of it) Omega does act like an arrogant cocky fighter, he is certainly a powerhouse capable of causing enormous damage etc... After Soulfire recuperated somewhere halfway through, Omega seemingly turned into a much weaker version of himself, constantly not using his full powers or anything of the likes when it would be apparent that he should do, and even when he did Soulfire sort of brushed it off easily. All in all, I constantly had the feeling that Omega was certainly portrayed dumber and weaker than he should be.

My last and probably most apparent point is the fact that near the end the story becomes somewhat repetitive and usage of some words becomes VERY repetitive.


Soulfire didn't show it, but he was getting tired, and by the looks of it, he just made his enemy more dangerous. Good job Soulfire, just, great frickin job, Soulfire thought.
Soulfire was halfway there. Omega sent two tentacles this time, one above Soulfire’s head and one at his stomach. Soulfire slid under both tendrils, shooting fire at the one above his head. Soulfire then brought that hand back under him and used the flame to keep sliding forward. He looked back and saw all the tentacles were coming back. Soulfire decided to jump off. Soulfire brought the flaming hand to the left to rotate that way and shot jets of fire out of his feet, propelling himself that direction. Omega sent the halo after him. Soulfire did a backflip, dodging it, and landed on his feet. Looking at Omega, he saw something he didn’t expect to see… water. It splashed Soulfire’s body.

This part is an example of what I meant. When reading through this part the amount of times the word "Soulfire" was used immediately became apparent. This stretches beyond my opinion since it is fact. While I myself know very well how difficult it is to find synonyms for your fighter (because I tend to repeat the word "Wyvern" too much at times as well.) it is something you have to be very wary off, because then the story begins to drag. Short sentences in rapid succession employing the same noun over and over tend to become boring or unappealing. Something you certainly have to look out for in the future.

Not only the usage of words but the story itself did seem to become quite repetitive (thought this honestly COULD just be me). I felt as if there was a certain pattern that was always followed during the entire battle. Omega/Soulfire acts cocky, Omega lashes out with a powerful attack but Soulfire brushes/tanks it off and then counteracts, then repeat it. It did just seem like this

I know this might seem like much but I honestly just tried to do my best to find as much possible things that I could assist you in approving with.

My personal advice is to reread it a couple of times before finishing, and possibly reading other stories as well. I myself did find some inspiration in Cavaliere's Mancer vs Omega, but did not put enough effort in rereading my own battle with Cassandra. After seeing the first votes for Cass and reading the feedback we received I realized there were some simple errors I could have potentially fixed had I spent enough time correcting my work. I do not know how many times you re-read your work (or if you even did it at all.) If you did, then I just greatly recommend reading the battles of others' (especially the good ones) and then taking a good look at your own work again.

As for the rest, try to keep the battle enticing and exciting by not sticking to a certain pattern while remaining true to the relative strength of both parties. This is something I overdid in my own battle and it is definitely one of the greater downsides. I do not really have anything to remark on how you represent both fighters' personalities, only their strengths and actions could at some times seem somewhat out of character. I know that staying true to the strengths of both parties can be quite troublesome at times, especially if the opponent is certainly stronger than your character, though you will find that if you stay true to this and still find a creative and interesting manner to take down your opponent that the quality of your work will rise. Do not be afraid to add in some external factors to help you take down your opponent, but be cautious in this. Don't win because of some coincidental reason because that makes for a great dip in quality.

Well that's it. I hope I was helpful :)


Just like Ryan you put down a decent work, well done! I certainly liked the flow of the battle and the general style, and I've noticed that you've taken the feedback from your previous battle (with Cavaliere) to this one. I also liked the explanation as to how he survived his encounter with Mancer.

With that said, on to the matters at hand.

What quickly catches the eye is the length of your work compared to Ryan's. Not only is yours considerably short, but Ryan certainly doubles what you have. While length does not guarantee quality, it is still essential that it is clear to all of us that enough effort has been put into the battle. Longer quality battles are of course way more enjoyable than short ones, though too long also tends to become unappealing. Perhaps something to keep in mind is making sure that it doesn't look like Omega just deletes his opponent in a matter of seconds.

Continuing on this point, not only was your work short, but the battle itself was also considerably brief. Almost half of the short battle is explaining how he lived through his face getting molten, his encounter with Soulfire and some dialogue. You certainly executed the battle well though to me it seems as if you were too cautious in going further into it, afraid of making mistakes perhaps. Omega faces heavy resistance but in the end he almost immediately defeats Soulfire after encountering him, and that is what bothers me the most in your battle. You basically countered Soulfire once and capitalized on this to just take him out. While it does make sense, it doesn't make for an interesting end. (I may be mildly contradicting what I said to Ryan here but again, it is the way I experienced it.)

Speaking of which, I liked the way you described the battle, though at the end it did become confusing (this could just be me). I had a hard time trying to imagine the scene where Omega obliterates Soulfire since this part did seem rushed and in my eyes lacked in description.

With that said, a minor point that bothered me was the way in which Omega acted. While both you and Ryan did a decent job at describing each others' characters, I do feel as if Omega acted a bit too blunt and stereotypical at some occasions. Specifically, I mean the part where he basically rants about him being so much more superior to Soulfire because he is a pseudo-GOD. While in the end I wouldn't really let this change my decision it is just something I felt as if it could have been done mildly better ;)

My advice for you is : Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because we all do. It seemed as if you wanted to play safe by creating a short work and while it was certainly enjoyable, I felt as if it was over too quickly and did not honor Ryan's character. Try to be creative and find ways in which the battle could be prolonged in an interesting way. Every RHG fighter has at least some tricks up their sleeve and always have their favorites. Nobody likes losing and Soulfire definitely isn't the char that would go down this easy, even if you countered him completely. He is clever enough to have figured a way to circumvent Omega's aquatic powers, which should give you plenty of opportunities to extend the fighting. As I told Ryan, do not be afraid to implement some minor external factors if necessary, though again do this with caution! Coincidence can kill a story's quality especially if it's something bullshit like "The explosion that x set off caused a chain reaction. Luckily Y managed to survive but sadly X got caught in the blast and was injured/killed/whatnot". I know that's a bit extreme for an example but you get the point.

In the end, what bothered me the most in both stories is the way that Soulfire's weakness to water was employed. In Ryan's part Omega is too stupid to abuse this ability to further obsidianate Soulfire and instead helps him out by breaking it for him, while in Malacal's part Omega just straight out rapes Soulfire with this ability, killing him in a matter of seconds by just continuing to spam the ability. I get that it is a great counter to Soulfire but Ryan didn't really seem to take it as serious as it should've been while Malacal over-used it and is basically used as a means to end the battle as quickly as possible.

All in all, though, I did enjoy reading both entries and it was certainly a job well done. I myself am not so good in continuously praising people so accept my sincere apologies if I seemed like a bulldozer to either of you ^^. While I did enjoy both battles, I had just as much issues with both of them. At the end, however, I will always be voting for the story I enjoyed reading the most.
In this case, I must say that Malacal did manage to snag my favor just a little bit more. While I would've just as much liked to abstain from voting (since I honestly hate making others feel inferior when it is clear they put great effort in their works!), it would defeat the purpose of the wRHG. Good job both of you and may the odds ever be in your favor ;)

Crank
02-05-2015, 05:43 PM
Single space... my mortal enemy.

But anyway!


First and foremost, impressive debut! Well done! Now this first thing is just personal preference so do with it what you will, but a lot of people like to explore their characters and give them their journey from point A to point B and so on. What I mean is, while RHG typically does start out with the fight imminently, that's not always the case here. While the how it's starting and why may not be required, but that sort of thing goes a long way with establishing the characters more, helps them develop and makes them grow on everyone a bit. Again, there's nothing wrong with starting with the fight, but I just wanted to let you know that you don't necessarily have to.

Another thing is, like Vern said, make sure you proofread it a few times. Finish your battle, give it a day, and then reread it and make sure everything's in order. I know people make honest mistakes so I've never been one to nit-pick, but there were a handful of missing capitals or missing letters that could've easily been avoided.

Next small thing is about your setting.

Two figures stood in the center of a large grass field. It was midday and a light wind bent the grasses and waved the trees. The field was nearly perfectly circular and went out from the center to a twenty foot radius. Surrounding that was a thick forest. To the north was a small town, to the south; a thirty foot cliff that lead to more forest. On the east and west were two hills that meandered on into mountains.

Now it's entirely possible that I may have missed it, but you didn't use anything in red, did you? It's very good to establish your setting, but to be honest, the things you don't use don't necessarily matter very much. It's also a little bit of a let down, because then it leaves the feeling that the area was left unexplored. Similarly, when you're describing things it usually works best to have the parts lead into one another than state them all individually.

Two figures stood in the center of a large grass field. The bright, midday sun high above illuminated them as a light breeze ruffled their clothing, but as it whisked the the grass it dared them to turn to the forest beyond. An army of trees lined the edge of their circular battleground, so closely packed that no sunlight could snake through their rustling leaves or between their waving branches. They were like a demented crowd, staring in silence at the warriors, eagerly awaiting blood to spill and quench their violent lust in the small, 20 foot radius they left them with.

Similarly, setting the scene is also a great way to set the mood as well.

The last thing I want to touch on here is impact. Vern did a good job bringing up Soulfire's tendency to outright tank, but for blows to still look painful, you still have to make your reader feel them. I do see that you had trees explode all over the place, but if a character makes something look like something's no big deal, it makes it easy for your reader to assume the same.

The disc flew at Soulfire. It cut off one of his legs and was coming back. Soulfire wasn't sure what he was going to do.

The disc flew at Soulfire in a rage filled whir. Effortlessly, it severed his left leg clean as a katana and quick as a lightning strike, rushing back at the shocked gladiator before he even had time to fall to a knee. Fluids spluttering and burning the grass beneath him, Soulfire wasn't sure what he was going to do.

Lastly, be sure to give your characters a little emotion! Don't be afraid to show what they're thinking or how they feel throughout the story.

Again though, great job!



I agree that this is very well written, but like Vern, I think your main drawback was how suddenly Omega was able to effortlessly vanquish Soulfire. I don't know, it almost felt like a mini fight on the way to an important one, or like when a villain in a movie caps some guy in the back of the head to show his power. I mean, don't get me wrong, it does show he is powerful, but it also feels like there's something missing.

Maybe a little bit of this could stem that this is from Omega's perspective. From where he was standing, it was in fact, too easy. Honestly, if you wanted this to be an easy win for Omega, I think it would've benefited you more to show Soulfire's point of view, battling impossible before all hope is annihilated and his body turns to stone. You're reader needs to feel something, and to have something to invest in, even if it's not your character.


All in all, great effort from you both, and I think this is going to be a very tight battle! I'll vote after I have a bit more time to think it over.

ErrorBlender
02-06-2015, 10:48 AM
Well, well. I love these two fights.

Overview: Personally, I loved both fights, they had their own grips on the reader and it gave me a better sense of each character as a whole as the stories progressed. Nice nice. As I type this, I'm still actually trying to decide who to vote.
CNC Time..

ryanjr

Soulfire's enthusiasm is sort of contagious and I like it. You describe things fairly well and for your debut battle, it was great.

Like I've touched on Malacal previously, you need word variation. 'Soulfire' was used fairly often and another word such as elemental, son of the core or other things could have easily filled a flavorful counterpart to his name. There were at times you had so many 'ands' in one sentence. You could easily just use commas and lessen the load on it.



Malacal

Compared to ryanjr's fight, yours was shorter but straight to the point. The way you showed the total difference of Soulfire and Omega in terms of personality was funny and entertaining. It really set them apart and that division was great. The battle itself was short but straight to the point. You basically showed how Omega is all-powerful. A sort of DarkSeid/Thanos esque character. I sort of disliked the brevity in the sense that there wasn't much to show, it was like Soulfire was just another lackey in the force of good that Omega had to snuff out but still good work on the descriptions. You're improving, and that's good.


Still deciding though.

Malacal
02-06-2015, 06:14 PM
Well, well. I love these two fights.
Like I've touched on Malacal previously, you need word variation. 'Soulfire' was used fairly often and another word such as elemental, son of the core or other things could have easily filled a flavorful counterpart to his name.


Aw man, why didn't I think of elemental? That's so perfectly fitting.
Anyways, thanks for the CnC guys. I'll make sure Omega seems a little more challenged the next battle instead of an alien rapist, as Vern put it. Also I need a good joke about probing to insert here.

Vern
02-08-2015, 01:06 PM
Crank and Error taking too long to vote... It's over if they don't vote now.... :c