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View Full Version : [SPAR] Serif vs Proton (Crank vs Escavalien)



Escavalien
06-07-2015, 01:54 PM
This is a friendly, unscored battle that Crank challenged me to and I happily accepted. (have mercy on me though, English is my second language.) Enjoy.

With each drop of the falling rain crashing into the ground,
The mighty roars of thunder ring through my ears as the flickering flashes of lightning penetrate this pitch black cave.

I can't remember the precise number of days I've spent in this cave training. All I can focus on is the present, and my current actions.

I thrust my fists one after the other in the hopes of increasing my speed with each blow. A rain drop falls on my right fist; the rain had started leaking into the cave. It wasn't too long until I was soaked; it was quite a heavy storm. I decided to rest and dry myself up until the storm subsided or at least the leakage had stopped. I was sitting on a large rock with a towel in my right hand, drying my now soaked snow-white hair. With my left elbow on top of my left knee, I found my thoughts revisiting old subjects. Not happy ones. I was deep in dark thoughts.

Suddenly, I was interrupted. I heard a very loud noise, it scattered my dark thoughts away. It sounded somewhat familiar to a rocket. Without having enough time to recognize the object I was still able to sense it moving towards me, which enabled me to dodge it by turning to my right and pulling my upper body backwards at the last split second.
I couldn't make it out but there were two objects connected together through some sort of sharp string. I only knew what connected them because of the blood running out of a line shaped cut and down the middle of my right cheek.
This weapon was an extremely technologically modified bola, "I've seen hunters use such weapons throughout my travels but none of them was remotely similar to this in speed and destruction". I thought to myself while looking at one of the weapon’s metal spheres hit the spiky end of a sharp rock. The sound similar to that of a button being pressed could be heard.

The rocket like sound of the weapon had reappeared; it was heading in my direction again. "It's too risky to try and dodge it" I thought to myself. The sound of the impact of the odd bola colliding with the now crumbling wall combined with the flashing blue lights of the repulsion, it could easily camouflage with the thunder and lightning.
After taking a slow deep breath, I halted my electron effect. I could see a shape moving but I couldn't make out what or whom it was at first, it blended well with the dark cave. I triggered my Electron effect again, but this time I used its lambent blue light to reveal what the figure was. It was a man. The first two things that came to my attention was his full body tattoo and the odd look in his eyes, I could not decide whether it was a determined or empty expression but either way, it would make any man uneasy.

"Looks like the rumors about your abilities are true, you really can manipulate atoms." - With a rather intrigued and curious tone said the stranger.

"And who might you be? To interrupt my resting ever so rudely?"

"People call me the Hero of New Salem, but you may call me Serif."

I stand up, still soaked with water, and identify myself.

"Alright then Serif. I've been called Proton for as long as the world can remember." As I said those words a drop of water slid down a strand of my hair, and scattered after colliding with the ground. A flicker of lightning struck, illuminating my raven like eyes. A strong gust of wind accompanied the lightning, blowing through my long black trench coat.

I couldn't help but think: "I've been itching for a fight, and this seems like it's going to be a hell of a battle." As that thought crossed my mind, I smirked.

"What are you smirking for?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough"

After those words I pulled my Shifting Rapier out of its sheath and swung my right hand into place, I was ready for a fight. The Shifting Rapier started flashing with blue energy; it was just as hungry for a battle.

"Before we start this, what brings you here?"

"I'll tell you everything you need to know...”

He cut himself off by launching at me with incredible speed, or so I thought, in reality he was going to grab his bola that he had injured me with earlier but camouflaged it as an attack so that I wouldn't interrupt. He then continued his sentence, after picking up his weapon, while sounding quite confident.

"If you beat me that is."

I could see it in his cyan eyes; he was itching for a real fight as well.

"Don't intrigue me, I'm impatient, It'll only make me end the battle sooner." I said eagerly as I grinned.

Serif did not wait any longer. He launched his rocket powered bola after tapping a small button on its side. It was galloping at me in a straight line, like a Falcon heading for its pray. I had to think of a reaction that would be fast enough in mere seconds.

A slight grin appeared on my face for a split second before I initiated my response. I raised the Shifting Rapier into a vertical position and, after making it attract with the bola's metal, quickly half spiraled towards my right and stopped once my right eye could see Serif again, at the last moment before completely turning I forced repulsion between the Shifting Rapier and the unorthodox weapon. It was flying towards the Hero of New Salem with great speed.

The blue sparks of the repulsion were captivating, everything seemed like it was in a state of slow motion. I could hear my lungs inhaling, and my heart beating. I was enjoying the commencing battle.

Serif quickly dodged a direct hit from his own bola, but he grabbed on to it as it passed centimeters away from the left side of his unturned face. His boots slightly burrowed into the ground. He was dragged back an inch or two, but he had a firm grip on his weapon. He suddenly held the bola in a position that I have not seen this weapon in. It seemed like he was holding a ball and chain, not a bola.

I decided to keep moving, and go with a flow that I was feeling within my body. After quickly charging at him with the Shifting Rapier, Serif met my sword with one of his weapon's metal spheres.

The sound of our weapons clashing was thunderous. The cave was stirring...as if it were, daunted.


”You’re pretty good.” I said with a rather excited tone.

”You’re not too bad yourself.”

I focused my weight on my sword, and I tilted it slightly to the right. The sound of the metal screeching was quite loud, but we were too focused on the ongoing battle to react. As I was sliding with my sword, I sent a focused shock of electrons towards Serif’s weapon to electrocute him.

But, to my surprise, a talisman that was hanging from his neck inside his open vest started glowing. Serif was floating away from me, avoiding the shock.

I was confused at first, but a quick theory came to mind.

”So, that interesting talisman allows you to defy gravity?” I said with a calm tone.

”Turns out you’re not just all muscle, very good observance.” Said Serif, while still floating.

”If I counted on pure strength, I would have never won a single fight.”

”Oh? But I heard you pack quite a punch.”

”That is somewhat correct; I use my ability to create a repulsion between my fist and my opponent. Increasing the impact, and in the process, making the hit much harder.”

”Interesting.”

”How about, I show you….” as I said those words I used my sword to attract Serif’s bola again. Once Serif’s face was in range blue sparks started rotating around my fist.

”What’s with the sparks?”

As I was delivering a repulsive punch to Serif’s cheek I uttered a single word:

”Electrons.”

Serif went flying into the air, but he roughly managed to land on his feet.
While staggering, he wiped some blood that escaped through his mouth and said:

”That’s a neat ability.”

Serif was quickly making his way towards me while pulling out a normal bola, he delivered a swift powerful blow to my left side. I started tumbling on the ground, but I forced my tumble into a crouching position and started to stand up.

”Impressive, but why’d you switch weapons? Wouldn’t the other bola of been more effective?”

”That might be true, but I have my reasons.”

After having said that, Serif launched his bola at me. It wasn’t nearly as fast as his rocket one; all I had to do was activate my Electronic shield. Something didn’t feel right; Serif didn’t seem like the person to repeat a mistake twice. Especially after he made that remark about my abilities when it first happened.

As the bola was flying in the opposite direction, thanks to my Electronic shield, I felt something coming up from behind me.

To my surprise, Serif used his normal bola as a diversion. He snuck up behind me with his rocket bola and, while activating it, he swung it towards my back. I suppose if that hit actually connected I would be getting slammed to the ceiling, but it didn’t.

I created repulsion between me and the metal of his bola’s sphere, I was flying in the air momentarily but at least it wasn’t thanks to the bola.

Instead of staying in my current position and eventually slamming head first into the ceiling, I decided to back flip and land right behind Serif, standing expressionless and composed.

”Not a bad try but you could do better, if you were trying to actually cause damage.”

”What are you talking about?”

”it was clear to me from the beginning, you were only assessing my fighting capabilities.”

”So it was that obvious?”

”No, but you really shouldn’t underestimate my deduction abilities.”

”Heh” Serif grinned.

”At any rate, why did you start this in the first place? You still haven’t explained yourself.”

“Well, as promised, I will tell you what I know.”

”Your powers are a result of years of experimenting, carried out by researchers under an organization who call themselves A.T.O.M”

My eyes were widening in shock of what my ears were hearing. Who is this man? And How does he know so much about me?


”Who…who are you? And how do you know so much about my past?”

”I know more about your past, more than yourself. “

”For example, your real name is Ryan Limone. And your birth parents are Mohammad and Lisa Limone.”

”What?!...” This information was more than shocking to me.

”….What happened to my parents? How much do you know about them?”

”All I know is, your father was a researcher at A.T.O.M and at first he was going to be the subject of their experiments. But after you were born, your father denied their “offer”. He wanted to stay by his son’s side, and did not want to risk his life. That only infuriated them even more, A.T.O.M took you by force after murdering both your parents, although they did keep your father alive slightly longer than your mother just to make him see his son become an experimental subject but he was eventually killed as well.”

”As for your mother, she was a well known lawyer. One of the top ranking lawyers in the world. I suppose you inherit your deductive abilities from her, and your intelligence from your father.”

”So you’re saying… my parents are dead.. And it’s because of… me”

”No, they’re dead because they chose to die. They sacrificed their last breathing moments to try and prevent you from becoming a test subject. You should be honored to call them your parents, and instead of looking at the past you should look towards the future, because..”

”I have some information about A.T.O.M”

”You do want to find them right? After all, they’re the people who have forbidden you from ever living a normal life.”

Proton froze there on his knees, with his head tilted towards the ground, not uttering a word.

”Here, catch this” Serif threw a card in Proton’s direction. Proton did not catch the card but instead attracted it to the bottom of his open right hand palm.

”What is this?”

”It’s an ID card to one of their headquarters; it’ll come in handy soon.”

After regrouping himself and finally comprehending everything he had just heard, Proton stood up and regained eye contact with Serif.

”Well, what about you? I’m sure this won’t be the last time I see that snarky face of yours.”

”Oh you’ll be seeing my snarky face alright, partner.”

”I don’t mind, as long as you can keep up.”

”I can do more than just keep up.” Said Serif with a smirk on his face and determination in his eyes.

”Something occurred to me..” Said Proton.

”What exactly do you gain from this?”

”I have my own personal reasons. You might discover them eventually, and you might not.”

”Hmph” Proton smirked.

”Good enough for me.”


The two gladiators stared at each other with fiery determination and great will.
Moments later, Proton walked towards the exit of the cave and momentarily stopped.
“I suppose this is only the beginning” He thought to himself with a high chin and eyes towards the raining clouds.
The sky started becoming clear, as if to symbolize what Proton just said.

Indeed it was only the beginning….


To be continued…. (Maybe).






Darkness.

It covered his vision like a thick cloak, barely able to see through the fabric like haze as he staggered between the trees. He hardly knew how long he’d been walking or how far he’d come, but when he heard the sounds of traffic, a faint glimmer of hope found him, cutting down the crippling fear he had of the growing cold, creeping across his body. It’s invigoration made him break into a run, but his overwhelming exhaustion brought him to his knees before he even broke five strides, hardly catching himself with his left hand. Sweat rolled off his exposed exterior, built as a bull, but now almost lifelessly pale as he fell to his right elbow as well. Directly after the joint, his belt wrapped tightly around his flesh, cutting off circulation beyond his forearm. Had it not been for the crimson soaked garb wrapping around the limb, it would be seen the effect was leaving it deep purple, yet the stump where his hand had been was still managing to ooze blood. An unclean cut, broken bone protruded from the gory injury and the unsterilized blade was likely to lead diesease into his bloodstream, assuming there was still any blood left to infect.

His limbs shook as they threatened collapse, but his head rose to the road ahead. He was [i]so close… if he could just…

His arms gave way and his body struck the dirt, sweat turning it to mud.

Tires screamed in the distance.


i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i! i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!i!

“Hang on, give me a second! Slow down, dammit!” The RHG office had been tense ever since the employee answered a phone call, brow furrowed in frustration as he signaled the man across from him to give him just one more minute as he stared at a computer screen. “You think I have every gladiator we hire memorized? I need time to look for the guy you described, and I’m getting real sick of you calling me with an accusation every time someone’s dying!” He flinched suddenly and jerked the phone from his ear as a torrent of yelling exploded from the device.

“Is that normal?”

The RHG worker nodded with a scoff. “Only when you have an ex-wife in your opposite industry.” A fresh wave of shouting came forth from the phone. “I’m with a client, Debrah! Yes, I’m talking about you, you psychotic bitch! Be less of one and I’ll do it less! --Wait, hang on, I think I might have something. Shut up, I need a second to read this!”

Eyes wandering uncomfortably, his client ran a hand through his snow white hair, in direct contrast his fully black outfit as the other wandered to his hip, resting on the hilt of his blade.

“Any chance a knife could’ve caused the damage?” He nodded after a second, tilting the phone away from his mouth as he leaned towards the man across from him, “Hey Proton, you looking for a battle? It’s going to take me some time to see if we have any information on A.T.O.M. on file anyway.”

“Sure...”

The ex-husband nodded before tapping a button on his phone. “Alright, Deb, I’m putting you on speaker. Tell me what happened.”

“Alright, Jake,” Her voice was seething, likely not overly stoked about the way she was being talked about, “I’m looking at a man who’s well over six feet tall with about two hundred pounds of muscle, currently dying of blood loss in the back of my ambulance.”

“That doesn’t help me.”

“Because I wasn’t done yet!”

Proton couldn’t have been leaning back in his chair any further, the leather leaving a clear imprint of his body as he pressed harshly against it while his eyes shied away.

“Now as I was saying, his right hand was severed in what looks to be at least two hacks, and there’s bruising on his forearm like the limb was being held down, along with another covering his right eye.”

The RHG employee waited a second. “That’s all you got?”

“That’s all it took. Maybe if your company didn’t give bloodlusting supermutants the world to explore, there wouldn’t be as many dead in our streets!”

“First of all we’re handling it, and second, one person doesn’t make us fucking Toronto!”

The phone hung up abruptly, but after the worker released a long, rage shaking exhale, he turned his monitor around. The screen didn’t show anything special to behold, just a plain PDF file containing the files of one of their gladiators with the warrior's photo alongside it.

“We don’t need men like this representing the RHG,” He complained, staring his client dead in the eyes, “So I’ll tell you what Proton: If he dies, I’ll see to it that your payment for the fight is doubled. And then we can both see what kind of information money can buy.”

“Tell me Krystal,” Voice locked in intense whisper, Serif glanced to the girl at his side as he spoke, “What happens to people of magic here?”

“Do you mean here specifically or like, worldwide?”

The duo cast heavy shadows as they walked towards the sun along the city’s sidewalks, made only wider by the man’s duo of suitcases that contained everything the he owned, as well as all that belonged to the girl he lost. Used to something much closer to a village, it felt like the army of buildings where closing in on the him. His body was tense as they paced through the city, eyes wandering across the names of the local businesses making up the district. Compared to other parts of the world it was still a relatively small, but to him it was a loud, dirty metropolis. Cars roared by as people sped to make the most of their lunch break, and everyone looked to be talking to their hands, each trying to outdo those surrounding them so their voice could be heard.

It disturbed him greatly.

“Both, I suppose.”

“Well, I guess it’s the same way either way,” Krystal cautiously replied, “Most of the time it’s pretty bad. You’re better off the less people who know about it, but if word does get out one of three things usually happen. You either get experimented on, people hunt you down like an animal -thanks again by the way- or you fight.”

“For who?” Serif paused momentarily. “To all of those.”

“The first two vary a lot. Governments, secret organizations, people who are scared or you or pretty much anyone who wants to steal your powers,” Stoic as he was, Serif was beginning to show signs of worry, leading to Krystal anxiously finishing her answer. “The last one is almost exclusively RHG though.”

“Who?”

“RHG? Rock Hard Gladiators? There’s a local Headquarters a few miles away, you’ve never heard of them before?”

“Never.”

She scratched the back of her neck uncomfortably, eyes wandering to the names of the buildings as she avoided his gaze. “Well it’s um. Gladiator battles. You just fight, and most of the people have magic. I hear the pay’s nice, and it’s a good way to meet people like you who can understand what you’ve gone though.”

“Those battles. How do they end?”

“Sometimes with everyone alright.”

“And the rest of the time?”

“...At a hospital …or graveyard.” Noticing she was pulling ahead of Serif, Krystal glanced over her shoulder only to see his blue eyes wide from the word. “Didn’t you say Olivia’s ten?”

“Eight. Would they buy her though?”

“Excuse me?”

“Olivia can explore the past when she closes her eyes. How do they go about recruiting new members? Is it exclusively voluntary?”

“I think.”

“Think?”

“Hey. I’m trying to help you here. Don’t be like that.”

Serif heaved out an exhale. “I apologize.”

Krystal did one in kind before finally noticing the sign she was looking for. “I’ll tell you what, you’re still hurt from our fight so I’ll do a little asking around while you get some rest. Okay?” As he glanced at her, she extended a finger towards a taller building on the corner of the block reading ‘Fate’s Motel’ up at the top, in a desperate attempt to be edgy. Meant to be a salute to Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, taxidermy lined the offices and they matched the room layout of the original film in their premium suites, but as people saw it much closer to creepy than cool, they had the slash their nightly rates in order stay open. It was primarily used by prostitutes to bed their johns, but with the lowest rates in town it still attracted some people who thought sleeping was just that. “Do you have any money? You won’t need much.”

“I have a little.”

The girl raised her brow. “From here?”


“Yes. A little.”

“How?”

“You’ve been uncomfortable since Rock Hard Gladiators were brought up. Why is that?”

An elongated sigh left her as they reached the front door. “Just get some rest, alright,” She reached out the final suitcase to him, looking him square in the eyes and trying to force a smile, “I’ll let you know when I find anything out.”

“I appreciate that.” They parted paths with an informal farewell and after a brief conversation with the woman manning the front desk, he was led to his room for the day. Selecting the cheaper option, it was small and barren, close to 400 square feet in total with only a bed, small old fashioned TV, and the cabinets it was standing on. There was a small restroom off to the side, but a kitchen was lacking leaving him on his own as far as food preservation was concerned. Not planning to stay long however, he didn’t care, but he still planned to make the most of whatever he spent. Unhinging a suitcase, he dug through his belongings until he found his journal and a pen. Thoughts and suspicious had been swirling in his mind since last night and began scratching everything he could think of onto the pages, scribbling his sloppy script onto one after the other.

Time ticked away and paper shred from its binding as he filled page after page, absolutely littered in text as his brain went rapid. Some names spiderwebbed to several others, while others were simply scratched out. His wrist was numb before he was brought back to reality, but in all fairness, the only thing that took him back was a knock on the entrance.

“Mr. Winters, there’s someone here to see you.”

“Thank you ma’am. Please send her in.”

“Him, sir. And he wished to speak with you in the lobby.”

Him? Serif’s brow furrowed as he rose from the scattered pieces of paper lining his floor. “Did he mention why he was here?”

“Business sir.”

His body stiffened, eyes slowly traveling to the weaponry he’d placed on the bed, the edge of his blade shining softly in the low light beside his metallic bolas. They’d already been used three times within a day, but if Olivia’s kidnapping and Niel’s murder had more to do with him than her, he’d need them at least once more.

“Please tell him I’ll be out momentarily.”

On the other side of door, a smile crossed the face of the short, youthful redhead. “Right away sir!” Considering most of her clientele were men obviously having affairs, it was a nice change of pace to deal with someone who spoke her her formally. Maybe all his tattoos were a bit unsettling, but it seemed like he was just a weary traveler, who was apparently employed as well. Her walk to the man was a brisk one, but when she saw him seated her sweet melody of a voice projected towards him. “He said he’ll be here in a minute!”

“Thank you.” Expression straight as a line in the sand, his gaze drifted towards the hall she’d strode from. Sure enough, in under a minute the heavily tattooed man came into sight, arms at his side with a gaze as cold as the blue splashes on his galactal design. As a precaution, the man in black placed his hand on the hilt of his longsword, leading Serif to slide a hand into his pocket.

“Um. Guys?” Rapidly growing concerned, the young woman stepped behind her desk, “What kind of business is this?“

“I apologize Annabelle, but I fear you may need to take shelter.”

Her eyes grew wide at Serif’s words. “Why? What exactly do you two do?”

Proton didn’t even look at her as he answered, voice somber yet carving into the woman like a dagger. “We kill people.”

Horror filled her as her gaze darted between the two men, praying it was just some sort of joke.

“Go,” There was a gentleness laced in Serif’s quiet command, but when she snapped her neck back to Proton, she saw him nodding as well.

“Please.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, I’m on direct orders from the RHG. If nothing else, they did say they’ll be covering any damage caused here.”

For a moment she went to protest, but with neither man even looking at her he knew it’d be in vain. “At least promise me you’ll try not to break anything…”

“I’ll do my best.”

Proton was the only one who spoke, even when her eyes drew to Serif. Giving it one last moment, she finally departed the room, leaving the men in silence as their unbroken gaze studied the other.

After what felt like a minute, Proton finally spoke. “You have nothing to say to me?”

“No.”

“Alright then.” In a singular, swift motion, Proton ripped the blade from its sheath as he dashed forward, but Serif was quick to draw a bola in reply, launching it at his enemy before he could close the distance. It was nullified with ease however, the revolving weapon proving no match for white-haired man’s longsword as it sliced the rope connecting the stones in a vertical slash, leaving them both to continue their trajectory in opposite directions away from him, smashing into the pale wall and leaving the first two dents of the conflict.

Closing the last two strides in a blink, Serif hardly had time to draw his hunting knife before the edge was upon him. Lunging the tip out like a fencer, the tattooed man jerked to the side, but when Proton’s wrist twisted and he cut it at his throat, he dropped a crotch, feeling the rush of wind overhead. Flipping his own blade open, he went to reply.

While Proton was still drawing back his sword, Serif pressed off the earth like a frog, swinging his elbow at the swordsman’s jaw as fast as he could while he did a 180 in the air. Bone struck bone with a satisfying crack, and while the anguish rushed to Proton’s brain as the copper from his bit tongue filled his mouth, a sharp pain from the inside of his elbow sent him screaming.

A dull thud could be heard as the gladiator’s sword fell to the carpet, but as a trail of crimson arced behind his knife as he tore it from the man’s flesh, he made sure it wouldn’t be the only sound they heard. In a blink his left hand had seized his enemy’s right arm and without wasting any time, his dominant gripped the front of the oozing joint.

His cold blue eyes didn’t blink as he yanked the arm in opposite directions, creating a horrific snap when the bone couldn’t take the pressure. Proton’s throat felt raw as he howled like an animal, knees quivering to stand while Serif rolled against his body only to catch him in a sleeper hold from behind.

“Surrender.” His voice was a haunting whisper and he didn’t wait for an answer before cutting off Proton’s air supply. The man’s body thrashed to break free, but Serif was unrelenting, backpedaling as warred against him. Darkness was beginning to cloud the swordsman's vision and his eyes were beginning to water from the intense agony shooting up his arm, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the word. Not so early in his first fight against a man who didn’t even have his own magic. His good arm gripped Serif’s, but locked in like a deadbolt, tearing it off felt hopeless. Desperation ravaged his panicked mind, but when he snapped his neck over his shoulder and spotted glass in his proverbial vision, hope sparkled in his fading eyes. Twisting just enough to angle his body, he focused his innate ability of repulsion on his feet.

“You first.”

Like two super magnets rejecting each other, the carpet denied his feet like an ex-lover, thrusting his body with a vengeance backwards and bringing Serif along with him, unable to let go before finding out what he was planning. They shot back like a cannonball, but as Proton’s aim was just a hair off, they slammed Serif first into the wall inches beside the window, painting shaking overhead from the impact before recoil bashed the back of the tattooed man’s skull. His old wounds broke open, and as he tried to hold in the radiating pain from an entirely bruised back and throbbing head, his grip on Proton released, letting him drop to the ground and wheeze for air.

Aside from the ringing in his ears, both of their heavy breaths where the only noise for a long time. Dazed from the impact Serif could barely even move for a minute as Proton struggled to stand himself. Only having his back to the wall gave the hunter an advantage in that regard, gritting his teeth as his back grinded against the solid surface while his feet pushed him up. A faint light began to emit from the inside of Serif’s shirt as his opal began to glow, and as Proton eyed him, he took a staggering step forward before turning around and placing his open palms on the wall. Planting his right foot as well, he took a deep breath before bringing the left additionally, sticking on the surface like a magnet on a fridge.

An elongated sign left Proton as he watched Serif slowly stagger up towards the ceiling. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I don’t jest.” Backpedaling, the hunter kept his gaze on the swordsman who had finally made it to his feet. “This is your final offer to walk away.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because you’re a melee fighter,” Slowly, he replaced his knife with a metallic bola, “And while I’m out of your range, you’re well within mine.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“So be it.” Back pressing against the ceiling, Serif wasted no more time before pressing a small button on his metallic spheres and immediately let the fly before it could take effect. The balls were spinning around their midpoint like comets as they rushed forward, but after an instant, a small chamber protruded both balls and pushed them forward with a rocket like thrust, blurring them as speed exponentially amplified, leaving a trail of smoke behind them. Had he tried, Proton likely wouldn’t have been able to avoid it, but with his arms crossed and a grin crawling up his face, he didn’t make an effort to humor Serif. Inches from his skull a bang ruptured through the lobby while a shower of sparks exploded out from the midair impact point, pouring down like Adele had successfully set fire to the rain, only to fade away before getting a chance to ignore the carpet. His bola on the other hand, seemed to have been shoved from the impact, spastically spiraling out of control before ramming itself above the front desk, one orb embedding into the wall before finally shutting off, leaving the second to dangle below.

“I call it the Electronic Shield.” His smirk broadened as annoyance gripped Serif’ expression, “You saw it earlier, but this-” Once more the floor rejected him like monopoly money, throwing him to the ceiling, which he, like Serif, managed to stick to, “-Is called Repulsion Jumping. And this-” Small blue particles began speeding around his left arm, “Is a Repulsion punch.” Rushing along the roof with it cocked back, it fired forward at the inked man’s cheek but he was able to dive from the strike onto their inverted battlefield, leaving Proton’s first to ram into the wall. Holding in the pain as tracked the sound of Serif rolling back to his feet, blue dots gathered around the swordsman’s foot before booting it in a violent side kick.

The bottom of his boot pounded into the hunter’s ribcage, impact of the blow amplified as the particles shoved him away like a ragdoll, bouncing near the center of what felt to be the floor to them. Sweat crawled up Serif’s forehead as he tried to regain his bearings, but as he scanned the surface for anything that could be useful to him, he noticed for the first time the elaborate chandelier that was the source of all the light in the lobby. Staying suspended by a hook at its base, hundreds of icicle like glass shards littered it like a christmas tree as they surrounded the lightbulbs casting illumination downwards, and without a second thought, Serif unhinged a handful of decorative spikes like apples.

He could hear Proton’s feet pound against the ceiling as he broke into a charge, but as he spun around he chucked the first glass piece at him. The man in black made no effort to dodge as it shattered against his shield, sparkling bits raining up from their perspective and persuading Serif to break into a sprint, or at least what his exhaustion allowed him to.

But away from his opponent.

“You fight without honor!”

“Fighting isn’t about honor.” Twisting on his heel, he heaved another, but when it shattered the same as the first, he continued his stumbling retreat in a wide arc around the ceiling. Proton was gaining on him however. He could feel it in his bones, and he could hear his footsteps getting louder and louder and the crescendoing buzz of his blue particles. Not fully rested from the day’s journey from earlier, his feet threatened to give out from under him, but on the cusp of running out of time he pivoted, releasing his third piece of glass.

It was met by no gloriously spellbinding, majestic magical end. Proton veered from its path and it merely shattered against the wall before the shards plummeted to the gravity defined floor twenty feet below, but as Serif smirked, the avoidal told him all he needed to know.

Lacking time to avoid an incoming attack however, a clenched fist pounded his right eye, slipping between the arms he brought up to defend himself. Lifted from his feet as the particles propelled him, his spine rammed against the upsidedown battlefield a few feet from a wall, but when he bounced and rolled against it, he wound up lying along it, legs pointing down to the real floor while his head was a few inches under the one that concerned Proton and himself.

Both men were panting as the natural magic user made his final approach towards Serif, but as the specs of light began revolving his foot like tiny planets, the man with the enchanted necklace withdrew a stone bola. Each step he took was a countdown to Serif. Whatever he was doing to his limbs was too powerful to fight up close, and if the next strike struck his skull, at minimum he’d lose consciousness, and then depending on how he fell, gravity could very well finish the job.

Within the last few feet, Proton broke into a charge, planting his left foot down on the final stride as the right rushed at the hunter’s open gaze. The moment his boot came off the ground however, the light coming from Serif’s opal died and true gravity yanked him from harm's way. Inches from the top of his head, his footwear bashed against the wall, cracks spider webbing from the freshest hole as Serif’s necklace came back to life.

“It’s about survival.”

Gripping one of the stones of his bola, he harshly arced the weapon above his head, coiling it around his enemy’s foot. Suddenly alarmed, Proton desperately tried to hop back but when Serif brought his hands together, he ripped him down with all his might, releasing the rock as he felt the swordsman’s attraction with the ceiling break and gravity seize him like a monster. His expression filled with horror as he spiraled down, air rushing through his bone white hair as he desperately tried to stabilize himself, but spinning too fast, all he could do was shield his face and hope for the best. His eyes clenched shut as a tremble overtook him, but before he could pray his body slammed against against the carpet in a hellish thud, shoulder first. All was mute as he lied limp in the center of the lobby, sprawled out directly under the light of the chandelier, gently swaying back and forth.

The rocking wouldn’t be enough to dislodge it, but as Serif’s chilled eyes locked on the metallic hook, he knew fully well it’d be effortless to do manually. Just a little lift to permanently eliminate a threat, more than capable of killing him... Gradually, his eyes drifted down to the fallen man. Blood was beginning to span the carpet surround Proton’s elbow, with his forearm attached to it resting a full 90 degrees past what would’ve been possible. At minimum, his other shoulder was dislocated as well, and with his only movement being barely detectable breathing, it was unlikely he’d be a danger anytime soon. And even then, Proton was only even there on orders.

Looking back to the hook, a heavy sigh exited Serif as the chandelier it held stabilized. You’re just a good soldier...

Slowly, his eyes shut in an attempt to ease his mind and body of the chaos, but before he could inhale a deep breath a shriek disrupted the silence.

“Annabelle,” His calm gaze wandered down to the redhead as her startled eyes snapped up to the man, shocked that he was somehow suspended twenty feet in the air against the wall, “Could you please give me directions to the RHG Headquarters? I wish to know why they’re sending men to kill me.”

Fear had her paralyzed for a moment, but as Serif patiently awaited an answer, she eventually shook herself free of it. “S-sure…”

A gentle smile crossed his face. “Thank you ma’am.”

Vern
06-07-2015, 03:20 PM
Crank's really been getting at the folks recently hasn't he?

I'll give this battle a read as soon as I can, but as I'm in the midst of my exams that might take a while :)

Urako
06-07-2015, 03:29 PM
I haven't read Crank's story yet, but i will. So far though Escavalien, you are doing pretty well especially for someone who knows english as a second language. There is much improvement from your demo. But there is something you forgot. You need to add a poll so we can vote. To do that, just go to thread tools in the top right bar just below the title.

Escavalien
06-07-2015, 03:32 PM
Having just read Crank's part, I am simply overwhelmed with happiness that I got the opportunity to get Proton into Serif's world. and into Crank's story. Even if temporarily.


EDIT:

Urako, as I stated it is only a spar. an unscored battle. no need for a poll. (Which is something I am happy about XD)

Urako
06-07-2015, 03:46 PM
Having just read Crank's part, I am simply overwhelmed with happiness that I got the opportunity to get Proton into Serif's world. and into Crank's story. Even if temporarily.


EDIT:

Urako, as I stated it is only a spar. an unscored battle. no need for a poll. (Which is something I am happy about XD)

I read Crank's battle now. Yeah it was pretty good.

Crank
06-07-2015, 10:59 PM
I gotta sleep real soon or I'd give you some CnC, but before I head to bed I at least wanted to say you did a great job! You portrayed Serif well, and considering he can be a dirty fighter that out of the blue attack is totally something he'd do! Plus you had a lot of nice words I like, among other things!

Out of curiosity though, is there any reason you use italics for speaking and regular for thoughts? Usually I see it reversed so I didn't know if it was a cultural thing or not.

And thanks for all the support you guys! You're gonna give me an ego though!

Escavalien
06-07-2015, 11:25 PM
I suppose you could call it a cultural thing, it comes from the idea that "thoughts are unspoken like the narration and speaking is well the spoken unlike the other two."

I don't really give it much thought, I'm just used to it.


EDIT:

Now that I think about it, Proton would actually decide to fight with honor. He has a sense of chivalry. it's questionable he'd say "fighting is about survival" but it's a possibility.

As for Proton accepting a job to kill someone just for some info on A.T.O.M, even not ensured information just money. that's definitely not a thing he'd do. I only imagined him punching a hole through that screen when asked to fight someone simply for the money that could maybe lead to information.

Although I do see the logic because he wants to find as many clues about his past as possible, but he wouldn't throw his moral code out the window for it.

Other than that, Proton really didn't use much of his brains in that fight. just powers. I suppose I could blame all of this on the fact that I have no new demo yet, can't really blame Crank for the lack of sources he had.

I do suppose this would sound like Proton if he were in a "full of himself" mood like I mentioned in his personality though.

Urako
06-08-2015, 09:57 AM
There is one quick question i forgot to ask. How does Serif know about A.T.O.M.?

Escavalien
06-08-2015, 10:15 AM
There is one quick question i forgot to ask. How does Serif know about A.T.O.M.?

Well that is "to be continued" I'd hate to spoil anything.

Crank
06-08-2015, 10:51 PM
Guess I owe you that CnC, huh?

Before that though, in response to what felt off about Proton, I wasn't meaning to portray him as accepting a hit for money per say, it's just that in my universe when you're told to fight you pretty much have to do it, and he didn't fight it because he was told Serif brought a man to the brink of death. That's also why he asked if Serif had anything to say to him, if Serif had a conscious or cared about his actions he would've explained himself, at least in Proton's mind, or if he didn't do it he would've been confused about Proton's being there. Because Serif said nothing, it made him look like the dark figure who was who Proton told about which lead to both men going full force. The money was just additional incentive, I've always pictured RHG as having giant stacks of money laying around and not being afraid to use it to make problems go away.

The 'Fighting is about survival' line was actually delivered by Serif, but I can see how that could be confusing! I didn't really establish a speaker there, I'll have to look out for that for next time!

I'll admit to dropping the ball bit as far as strategy's concerned, I'll have to look at what be best for both fighters as battles progress in future battles. Sorry I didn't quite portray him quite right!

But anyway!


First of all, and especially considering English isn't your first language, I really admire your word choice! You had a lot of good stuff in there and you used it really well to paint a picture!

Although that does kinda bring me to my first thing. As you're writing your paragraphs, try to avoid repeating the same word too close to itself. Similar sounds simply sooth senses, but the exact same one is a little bit like rhyming a word with itself in a song. It can damage the lines around it and make it sound representative or unpolished.

The mighty roars of thunder ring through my ears as the flickering flashes of lightning penetrate this pitch black cave.

I can't remember the precise number of days I've spent in this cave training. All I can focus on is the present, and my current actions.

I thrust my fists one after the other in the hopes of increasing my speed with each blow. A rain drop falls on my right fist; the rain had started leaking into the cave.

Don't feel too bad about this though, everyone myself included, has had difficulty with this before. Especially with words there aren't many clean synonyms for it's easy to just say the same thing again, but it's still something you should avoid as much as possible. A thesaurus can be a good resource, but if that's not helping you thinking about what it is can be of use as well. Blood, for instance gave me trouble for a while, but it's a red liquid that's in your body, and crimson and fluid are both interchangeable for those two prospectively. Context clues specify that it isn't Kool-Aid or whatnot. With cave you have things like cavern, or if that doesn't work, once it's established what it is, you could say what it's being used for.

Rain too, now that I look at it.

The mighty roars of thunder ring through my ears as the flickering flashes of lightning penetrate this pitch black cave.

I can't remember the precise number of days I've spent in this darkness training. All I can focus on is the present, and my current actions.

I thrust my fists one after the other in the hopes of increasing my speed with each blow. A drop of water falls on my right fist; the rain had started leaking into my practice ground.

Another thing is that introductions make some of the biggest impacts on your readers. They set the tempo and keep them engaged, and as much as this applies to how you start a story, it also goes for the major transitions or first impressions.

I couldn't make it out but there were two objects connected together through some sort of sharp string. I only knew what connected them because of the blood running out of a line shaped cut and down the middle of my right cheek.

I think you did a good job with it right before this, but this kinda brings the threat level down a bit. Unfortunately a lot of times when you explain something, it makes your character seem a lot more relaxed about it, which can be extra counter productive with dangerous things. Why couldn't he make the things out? Typically when you wonder about something it's in a peaceful environment, like you aren't quite sure what kind of bird that is overhead. If it's a trouble situation, keep it in that light. Or dark, I suppose.

Bolas work by spinning at you at high speeds and tying you up, but seeing as it's just spinning right now, what's something violent that operates that way? Off the top of my head all I can think of is a blender, but throwing that whole device wouldn't really be super effective, so we'd have to specify the blades.

I couldn't quite tell what was coming at me, but whatever it was was spinning like the unhinged blades of a blender. I was only even able to make out a pair of round shapes as they spun over my head at skull shattering speeds, but a sharp pain spiked from my cheek when it met what bound them together, oozing red as the weapon collided behind me.

Serif was floating away from me, avoiding the shock.

I totally need to edit my main page and specify Serif can't do that. Between you and Camila, 100% I've fought have thought he could so I'll accept it as a my bad!

Next thing is that when you're building up to something, make sure the action leaves an impact. Before my main man gets punched in the face there's a bit of dialogue and drama leading up to it, but then he just gets punched in the face. Don't be afraid to really highlight the blow!

”Oh? But I heard you pack quite a punch.”

”That is somewhat correct; I use my ability to create a repulsion between my fist and my opponent. Increasing the impact, and in the process, making the hit much harder.”

”Interesting.”

”How about, I show you….” as I said those words I used my sword to attract Serif’s bola again. Once Serif’s face was in range blue sparks started rotating around my fist.

”What’s with the sparks?”

As I was delivering a repulsive punch to Serif’s cheek I uttered a single word:

”Electrons.”

Serif went flying into the air, but he roughly managed to land on his feet.
While staggering, he wiped some blood that escaped through his mouth and said:

”That’s a neat ability.”

As my fist rammed into Serif's cheek, sending his flesh rippling like a body of water, I uttered a single word:

”Electrons.”

Serif went flying into the air, rag-dolling like a corpse lobbed out of a catapult but he somehow managed to stabilize himself. A splash of mud soaked him when he landed feet first, as he skid back his heels left trenches in the ground, unrelenting in the effort to keep him standing.
While staggering, he wiped some blood that escaped through his mouth and said:

”That’s a neat ability.”

And on one last note:
As I said those words a drop of water slid down a strand of my hair, and scattered after colliding with the ground. A flicker of lightning struck, illuminating my raven like eyes. A strong gust of wind accompanied the lightning, blowing through my long black trench coat.

I was really liked all your scene setting moments and use of similes and personifications!

Like I said, you really impressed me here! I look forward to watching your next fight and keeping up with your guy!

Escavalien
06-08-2015, 11:36 PM
Guess I owe you that CnC, huh?

Before that though, in response to what felt off about Proton, I wasn't meaning to portray him as accepting a hit for money per say, it's just that in my universe when you're told to fight you pretty much have to do it, and he didn't fight it because he was told Serif brought a man to the brink of death. That's also why he asked if Serif had anything to say to him, if Serif had a conscious or cared about his actions he would've explained himself, at least in Proton's mind, or if he didn't do it he would've been confused about Proton's being there. Because Serif said nothing, it made him look like the dark figure who was who Proton told about which lead to both men going full force. The money was just additional incentive, I've always pictured RHG as having giant stacks of money laying around and not being afraid to use it to make problems go away.

The 'Fighting is about survival' line was actually delivered by Serif, but I can see how that could be confusing! I didn't really establish a speaker there, I'll have to look out for that for next time!

I'll admit to dropping the ball bit as far as strategy's concerned, I'll have to look at what be best for both fighters as battles progress in future battles. Sorry I didn't quite portray him quite right!

But anyway!


First of all, and especially considering English isn't your first language, I really admire your word choice! You had a lot of good stuff in there and you used it really well to paint a picture!

Although that does kinda bring me to my first thing. As you're writing your paragraphs, try to avoid repeating the same word too close to itself. Similar sounds simply sooth senses, but the exact same one is a little bit like rhyming a word with itself in a song. It can damage the lines around it and make it sound representative or unpolished.

The mighty roars of thunder ring through my ears as the flickering flashes of lightning penetrate this pitch black cave.

I can't remember the precise number of days I've spent in this cave training. All I can focus on is the present, and my current actions.

I thrust my fists one after the other in the hopes of increasing my speed with each blow. A rain drop falls on my right fist; the rain had started leaking into the cave.

Don't feel too bad about this though, everyone myself included, has had difficulty with this before. Especially with words there aren't many clean synonyms for it's easy to just say the same thing again, but it's still something you should avoid as much as possible. A thesaurus can be a good resource, but if that's not helping you thinking about what it is can be of use as well. Blood, for instance gave me trouble for a while, but it's a red liquid that's in your body, and crimson and fluid are both interchangeable for those two prospectively. Context clues specify that it isn't Kool-Aid or whatnot. With cave you have things like cavern, or if that doesn't work, once it's established what it is, you could say what it's being used for.

Rain too, now that I look at it.

The mighty roars of thunder ring through my ears as the flickering flashes of lightning penetrate this pitch black cave.

I can't remember the precise number of days I've spent in this darkness training. All I can focus on is the present, and my current actions.

I thrust my fists one after the other in the hopes of increasing my speed with each blow. A drop of water falls on my right fist; the rain had started leaking into my practice ground.

Another thing is that introductions make some of the biggest impacts on your readers. They set the tempo and keep them engaged, and as much as this applies to how you start a story, it also goes for the major transitions or first impressions.

I couldn't make it out but there were two objects connected together through some sort of sharp string. I only knew what connected them because of the blood running out of a line shaped cut and down the middle of my right cheek.

I think you did a good job with it right before this, but this kinda brings the threat level down a bit. Unfortunately a lot of times when you explain something, it makes your character seem a lot more relaxed about it, which can be extra counter productive with dangerous things. Why couldn't he make the things out? Typically when you wonder about something it's in a peaceful environment, like you aren't quite sure what kind of bird that is overhead. If it's a trouble situation, keep it in that light. Or dark, I suppose.

Bolas work by spinning at you at high speeds and tying you up, but seeing as it's just spinning right now, what's something violent that operates that way? Off the top of my head all I can think of is a blender, but throwing that whole device wouldn't really be super effective, so we'd have to specify the blades.

I couldn't quite tell what was coming at me, but whatever it was was spinning like the unhinged blades of a blender. I was only even able to make out a pair of round shapes as they spun over my head at skull shattering speeds, but a sharp pain spiked from my cheek when it met what bound them together, oozing red as the weapon collided behind me.

Serif was floating away from me, avoiding the shock.

I totally need to edit my main page and specify Serif can't do that. Between you and Camila, 100% I've fought have thought he could so I'll accept it as a my bad!

Next thing is that when you're building up to something, make sure the action leaves an impact. Before my main man gets punched in the face there's a bit of dialogue and drama leading up to it, but then he just gets punched in the face. Don't be afraid to really highlight the blow!

”Oh? But I heard you pack quite a punch.”

”That is somewhat correct; I use my ability to create a repulsion between my fist and my opponent. Increasing the impact, and in the process, making the hit much harder.”

”Interesting.”

”How about, I show you….” as I said those words I used my sword to attract Serif’s bola again. Once Serif’s face was in range blue sparks started rotating around my fist.

”What’s with the sparks?”

As I was delivering a repulsive punch to Serif’s cheek I uttered a single word:

”Electrons.”

Serif went flying into the air, but he roughly managed to land on his feet.
While staggering, he wiped some blood that escaped through his mouth and said:

”That’s a neat ability.”

As my fist rammed into Serif's cheek, sending his flesh rippling like a body of water, I uttered a single word:

”Electrons.”

Serif went flying into the air, rag-dolling like a corpse lobbed out of a catapult but he somehow managed to stabilize himself. A splash of mud soaked him when he landed feet first, as he skid back his heels left trenches in the ground, unrelenting in the effort to keep him standing.
While staggering, he wiped some blood that escaped through his mouth and said:

”That’s a neat ability.”

And on one last note:
As I said those words a drop of water slid down a strand of my hair, and scattered after colliding with the ground. A flicker of lightning struck, illuminating my raven like eyes. A strong gust of wind accompanied the lightning, blowing through my long black trench coat.

I was really liked all your scene setting moments and use of similes and personifications!

Like I said, you really impressed me here! I look forward to watching your next fight and keeping up with your guy!


After that explanation and rereading I feel you've portrayed Proton better than I originally thought. I suppose to me, while reading though, I didn't feel the emphasis on Proton's motive much.
And it's kind of hard to picture someone think of Serif as the bad guy, maybe that's because I like the character.

As for the CnC thanks a lot for that, I'll make sure to improve on the points you mentioned. I am also quite flattered by the praise you gave me, especially coming from you, thank you.

EDIT:

I forgot to mention, also after the reread, I noticed that Proton's shield was deactivated by the time Serif threw the third shard of glass. Well if the shield really did turn off, then that means the whole Electron Effect turned off. which means Proton should have plummeted to the ground right then and there.

I suppose it's either that or he simply did not turn off his shield. because once the Electron Effect is activated he can do everything related to atom manipulation and if he turns it off, any atoms he manipulated goes back to normal. I suppose that's my fault for not explaining that point in Proton's abilities/weaknesses.

Why did he have his arms crossed when he enabled the shield though, I had mentioned he lacks any special expression or movement when he uses this ability. unless it has to do with his injury from Serif.

I also can't really think of a reason why his sword would be anywhere near his hip unless he was in casual clothing, which he wouldn't be in since he was expecting a fight against Serif. Might be a lack of explanation on my part, but his sword is usually pulled from over his shoulder. because it's strapped to his back.