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roBEAT
11-01-2015, 10:29 AM
Heyho. TheChosenGamer wanted an opponent so I challenged him. The deadline was Saturday the 31. (yesterday)

Problem is, I didn't get my part ready in time (I'm way too good at procrastinating but I chose to make a long introduction nontheless) but I've noted which part of my battle was written after the deadline. If you therefor feel like you have to ignore the existance of the part i wrote too late when it comes to voting feel free to do so.


But now to the interesting part. These are the combattants

Zeke by TheChosenGamer http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?97502-Zeke-the-Project-Z

Rage by roBEAT http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?96403-Rage-The-Great-Equalizer


and these are the battles:


First, my dear opponent's battle:

gdocs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...euIhe70Rninlg/ (I couln't access it myself)


It is not long before Project Z has left the pole and set foot to new land. The fresh scent of nature’s essence fill through his nose. The peaceful sound of the surrounding playfully rang on Zeke’s ear. He took a break under a great oak tree after his long journey. The sound of the river, rippling and streaming down the path tempted Zeke to took a sip. He went over and duck down to take a drink from the water, then saw a face reflecting on the blue surface. He turned around and saw a huge body towering over him. The shadow of the figure loomed over him. The figure pulled back his arms and punches Zeke. Thanks to Zeke’s quick reflexes, he is able to dodge the devastating hit that created a crater to where he just stood. He ran to the oak tree to grab his axe before the unknown attacker pounds him again.
As expected, he was being persuaded by the attacker whose eyes are shining red under the sunlight. Then, the attacker fired a red ball of energy from his arm. Zeke was able to block the shot by swinging his axe over to the attack. The axe fired three shots of green plasma and a smokescreen formed between the two fighters. As the smoke clears, a conversation started between the two.
“Who the hell are you?” asks Zeke.
“Hmph. How pathetic, you don’t know of the great RHG fighter, Rage.” his attacker answered.
“RHG? Like hell if I know that.” Zeke replied.
“I can tell you are not from here, nor are you my opponent, but I can always use a nice punching bag.” Rage said to him.
“Forgive me, but now that you’ve done it, I’m going to have to end it.” Zeke said.
Rage began to attack again. He rushed towards Zeke, pulling back his right arm for another destructive hit. Zeke did the same thing, holding his axe with his left arm.
*Foolish man, he doesn’t know the effect of my hit, even after he has seen it a while ago* Rage whispers to himself.
The two strike their arm towards the other, creating a shockwave that made even the trees sway. Blood came out of Zeke’s fist pouring over Rage’s.
“How does it feel?” said Rage, taunting Zeke.
Zeke didn’t reply, he just smiled the pain away. As Rage began to move again, he could not move his fist, it’s not even budging a bit.
“The heck!?” exclaimed Rage.
“What the hell is this?” he added.
“Any hit in a body is nothing if the inside is hard.” Zeke answered.
“If the inside is hard? So you’re ability is…” said Rage.
“Hardening my own blood.” Zeke interrupted.
Zeke saw the advantage and swung his axe towards Rage. Rage blocked with his left arm but it was no use. A huge plasma shot came out of the axe and burned Rage’s face. Zeke softened his blood and escaped from the grasp of his enemy. Rage blew the billowing smoke from his face away and stomped on the ground. The earth began to shake and the rivers became furious. Zeke kept his balance on the vibrating ground. He looked at Rage and saw a different face. The glow on Rage’s eyes was stronger than before.
“Now you’ve done it!” Rage shouted.
He went full speed to Zeke, unexpecting, Zeke took a blow on the chest. He was thrown back a few feet. Zeke spat out liquid blood due to the impact.
*Damn, I didn’t turn hard fast enough, but at least I avoided a critical hit, I would’ve died from that* he said silently with a long sigh.
He raised his head but Rage is already on him. Rage grabbed Zeke by the neck. He raised him up high on the air, his victim barely touching the ground.
“You’re dead.” Rage said to him.
His eyes were completely red, a light can be seen forming in the middle of Rage’s eyes. Zeke, seeing that his fate was sealed, had seen a vision in his eyes. In his vision, he saw a couple of men wearing lab coat, some were ! something on a computer, some were talking, some were drinking coffee. Faint but slightly clear, he saw what he thought to himself as his, Fathers.
“No, It can’t end like this.” Zeke’s resolve tried to overwhelm his death.
“Oh, so that’s your past.” Rage said to him.
“What, how did you…” Zeke tried to ask.
“I have the ability to read one’s mind, many can, actually, especially in the hellish world of RHG.” Rage answered.
“Unfortunately, you’re too weak to advance on the deeper depths of hell itself.” he added.
Rage started to fire a beam from his eyes, but was stopped when Zeke kicked Rage’s chin upward, being free from the strangle of Rage. Zeke dropped down and picked up his axe. Rage looked down on him with the beam continuously shooting to where he looks. Zeke blocked using his axe and the beam reflected back to Rage’s eyes.
“No! My eyes!” he said with a groan.
“If the RHG has the answer to my questions, then it wouldn’t hurt to join it, right?!” Zeke shouted.
Zeke took the opportunity of Rage’s blindness and decided to finish him off. Zeke swung his axe to Rage, throwing him back with the power of his plasma. He then ran towards Rage holding his axe on his right arm. Zeke swung randomly and furiously creating a huge smoke every time a shot hits Rage. Zeke then swung his axe upward sending Rage high up to the air. After that, he jumped up to Rage and the two were face to face for a few seconds.
“Any last words?” Zeke said to Rage.
“Welcome to the first level of the food chain, my friend.” Rage replied.
Zeke, swing his axe for the last time downward sending both of them falling at tremendous speed to the ground. As Zeke emerged from the smoke, he looked down to the fallen warrior, whose body was nearly split in half. Zeke stood next to the cold body, looking and realizing to what he has done.
“RHG.” the only word that came out of Zeke’s mouth.
A few minutes later, he began to walk again to the horizon, to the world of, RHG, leaving behind the grave of Rage, with a stick holding his gloves, to remember his legacy by.


and here's mine:

(Note: Thoughts are italized)

dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/s/8jzqty1uqchwudx/The%20fight%20of%20the%20unwanted.docx?dl=0


The fight of the unwanted

Stephen Nielsen looked around the meeting room although everything was as usual. The expensive parquet in the wide room was as clean as always and of course the view out of the glass front of the building was breath-taking, especially here on the 20th floor. Light colours and the fashionable style of the room would have made it a beautiful place if it weren’t for the photographs of bloody combat on its walls. One photograph for every Gladiator who died in an RHG-battle. Photographs like these would never disturb Stephen in any other place. He was the RHG Corporation’s Manager of gladiators and fights after all, a man of rank, success and more or less, more being his pay checks and less being his gambling addiction, a man of wealth. But in this room the bloody pictures had a threatening effect on the manager.

The only most important things in the room however were the meeting table in the middle of the room and the seven chairs around it. Five comfortable but ordinary chairs for the Managers of the RHG Corporation’s directorates, another one for the CEO’s deputy and finally a bigger and more impressive chair almost looking like a throne for the CEO himself. Additionally the arrangement of the chairs displayed the influence of everyone else. Stephen knew, the closer you sat to the CEO Nathan Wilde, a charismatic man but hard as steel inside, known to always wear fashionable dark suits and pierce you with his sharp grey-blue eyes, the more influent you were. He was the one responsible for the bloody photographs on the wall Stephen remembered. But even more threatening were all the cameras around the table. There was even a camera for every Manager filming the whole meeting for the CEO Wilde to watch it over and over. He kept everyone on a short leash.

Naturally the CEO’s throne-like Chair stood at the head of the table. The closest seats at the table’s sides were occupied by the CEO’s deputy and the Manager of finances. “A questionable choice,” thought Stephen.

After them the next two seats belonged to the Managers of the directorates that actually filled the Company’s accounts with money. Gladiators and fights, Stephen’s directorate on one hand and PR and Sales on the other. These two hands were made to work together, but Stephen knew he could never cooperate with this mean bastard Thomas Klint, who had to constantly disagree with Stephen and enjoyed nothing quite as much as criticising Stephen’s work. Right now it was going to be Klint’s turn to report on his directorate. Klint glanced at Stephen with that familiar approach of a grin Stephen hated that much. He knew this would be pointed against him again.

“Things are going fine for the most part,” Klint began. “Surveys turned out to be positive and the people love our new commentators. Most of our viewers are hyped for the big arena and the possibility to finally watch some fights live and 78 percent stated they’d trust the safety-dome between them and the fighters. Our advertisement Campaign was definitely successful making us sell more new merch than we ever sold from our old collections.”

“That’s mostly because of me. Leonico is the new star and I made him what he is. People like him for his personality. If I hadn’t paired him to as few deadly opponents as possible, he would never get you guys as much money as he does now.”

But of course Stephen did not interrupt Klint. He would get to talk about it soon enough in his own report. A smile sneaked on his face and made Klint look at him in bewilderment. He had to be about to start with his attack pretty soon. After a lot of bragging about his success which Stephen did not really listen to he finally had to begin with his directorate’s problems.

“And I’m going to be the one to blame.”

“However while so many people like what we’re doing there is a new wave of riot and boycotting against us. And it’s all just because of this new gladiator. This monstrosity, Rage. It’s said he murdered hundreds of people before he registered for our fights. He even caused a massacre with almost a hundred surviving witnesses. It’s no surprise the police was behind him. But still, someone had to accept him,” Klint accused.

“Well as you should know we made a deal with the law,” Stephen replied. “Rage isn’t treated as a human which is why they allowed us to use him as a gladiator as long as we make sure he’s no danger to any citizens. Right now he’s in a lonely house outside the city. The house is surrounded by a barbed wire fence and there are always at least two guards watching over him. Additionally Rage is wearing a GPS-tracker necklace and if he’d ever leave the house or get rid of the tracker a team of our agents has the command to immediately take him out. Just tell the people Rage is under control. That’s your task,” Stephen derisively added.

Klint managed to somehow express anger, arrogance and even surprise as if he couldn’t believe Stephen has been bold enough to speak up against him like this. “Did you even listen to what I just said,” he asked loudly as if Stephen was mentally disabled.

“The backbone of these protest groups are witnesses of the massacres and families and friends of the victims. Do you really believe they’d be satisfied with Rage being under control? No. They want nothing as much as justice to be done for the dead. What do you…”

Klint’s face was red in anger as he had to take a break from speaking before he went on a little slower: “What do you think they think about us preventing that? And don’t say everything would be fine for them if he died in a battle. They’re boycotting us and protesting against what we do in general. And they spread the message. Facebook is full with pictures of the massacred victims. Next to them they accuse us of protecting a monster. Some even call it company in murder and…”

Nathan Wilde slammed his hand loudly on the table. All eyes turned towards the boss and Klint fell silent due to the cold blue shimmer in the CEO’s eyes. Wilde didn’t need to scream into the silence, but instead spoke with a low but nonetheless cold voice. Only that he didn’t speak, he commanded. “Control your temper before we go on finding a solution,”

He eyed Stephen and his rival both the same. “For now I want to hear the other reports. We’ll skip your report for now Mr. Nielsen. Mr. Dillan, please continue.”

Carl Dillan was the Manager for law and security. His official job was to guarantee the obedience of the law in the corporation as well as the safety of events and to watch over the Gladiators. So Stephen had also contacted him as he needed the guards and the other stuff to make sure Rage wouldn’t cause any harm. But more important Dillan had to keep the corporation’s vest as white as possible no matter if that meant fighting in court, eliminating rampaging gladiators or letting people disappear in the middle of a night. He commanded over guards, agents, mercenaries and according to rumours even torturers and his position in the corporation was very special. While Dillan openly cooperated with the other managers he also got some secret orders directly from the CEO. He’d do anything, even send an agent to kill any manager if the CEO commanded it. But while he was that powerful he barely influenced the decisions at the meetings, just obeying orders instead.

The same thing apart from the attribute powerful could be said about Susan Lindon the manager of administration. She did not talk much and didn’t have a lot of influence on the meetings. She merely kept the wheels of bureaucracy running.

Dillon however had to report a safety issue concerning Zeke another new gladiator. Stephen remembered Zeke. He looked like a grotesque mixture of a dwarf and a demon with his red eyes, the burned face and his red cape on one hand and the little height and his axe that always remembered Stephen of Gimli from Lord of the Rings on the other hand. “He’s not short enough to actually be a dwarf, but I still think he’s missing a beard” Stephen almost giggled at that thought.

The issue Dillan was talking about has apparently been an attack. Zeke who had asked for some guards since there were people chasing him and even a powerful fighter like him needed some rest had been housed in a home similar to Rage, only that he was the one protected instead of protecting the people from him.

“It were about 15 attackers and they came at night with a black light truck and a van. Apparently they were mercenaries and they tried to abduct Zeke. They crashed through the gate with their truck, took three guards by surprise and dangerously injured another one with two bullets through the leg. However Zeke woke up in time and managed to run away into some woods and take them out one for one there.”

Stephen took a note in his head. Zeke seemed to be pretty deadly. “The result is three dead guards and one injured one, a destroyed gate, thirteen dead attackers and two or three who escaped with the van,” Dillan continued.

“Unfortunately this wasn’t the first time these guys tried to catch Zeke for whatever reason and I fear it wasn’t the last time.” The manager for law and security looked around the table.”

“If we want to keep Zeke safe I would have to save him with more guards or in some other way but I fear it would be too costly.”

Stephen wasn’t even a bit surprised as the manager of finances right next to Stephen nodded. “Maybe it’s the best if we just get rid of this gladiator, or what do you think Mr. Nielsen. Do you think he has enough potential to make profit out of him?”

Stephen was unsure about that. So they had two gladiators the corporation didn’t want to keep and both of them didn’t hesitate to kill. Interesting. He didn’t know who would be favoured if they fought, but it didn’t matter anyway. The idea was surely a good one. He smiled engagingly. “Lady and gentlemen, I think I found a solution for at least one of our problems.”

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Rage felt relieved as he could finally leave the jeep. He didn’t like these new things at all. The loud engine, the seats that were too small for him and the little amount of room in the car which was actually even chosen because it offered enough room for Rage. He sat at the back sideways to the wheels in a row of seats while the road thrilled him and he got angry and growled whenever it shook him too much. It didn’t really help to make the guards on the opposing row any calmer as they drove through villages and towns and Rage saw people outside the windows. Rage knew they feared he would do something. “You better do”

Now however they had arrived at the place Rage chosen for Rage and his opponent to fight today. He took a look around while the last guards behind him jumped off the jeep and found himself at the edge of a relatively small vale. The vale fell off shallowly at its flanks that were dappled with some little stones and some bushes on the other side. Though it was covered with short grasses and weeds the vale didn’t look very lively. Rage shrugged. Around the vale’s edge a huge amount of men stood around checking their cameras. The combatants should be visible from every angle Rage assumed. It would be live on this thing called television so there was a lot of other equipment around. “I’m destined to end mankind and now I entertain them?”

He felt the urge to turn on his heels and bury his fists in some of the guards and cameramen. How much would he give to hear their screams and taste their fear? How much would he enjoy the feeling of their bones breaking under his strikes and the pleasure of their warm blood sprinkling his face?

But it was too early he had to remind himself. He still needed some more power before he could attack mankind. Basically as long as he fought so their bloodlust would be satisfied and as long as he appeared to be under control they wouldn’t try to kill him. He decided to stick to his plan for now. “Let them cheer their doom. It’s going to be too late before they know it is coming.”

As for his own bloodlust... well he knew what he was here for. It would be one less of his foes at the end of the day. His thoughts drifted towards how he would kill his opponent today until he got interrupted by one of his guards talking to a cameraman. “Don’t we usually have a helicopter to fly the injured fighters to a hospital as quick as possible?”

“Yes,” the cameraman responded. I don’t know why but they said there might not be a heli today. I don’t know if it’s a mistake or orders from the higher ranks but yeah, I also found it kinda peculiar.”

Rage didn’t care. He just wanted to finally smash his opponent. It had been far too long since he smashed anything as he just realized. Then he heard the disgusting sound of another motor. Seems like his opponent had finally arrived. Rage was curious who or what this guy might be. He only knew his name. Zeke. “He could even be another wolf with a gun.”

He still had Shadowolf’s tail but he left it at the house. “Maybe I should also take something from Zeke,” Rage thought as he looked over to the other car, also a jeep.

The vehicle also had some guards in it but after them an odd-looking guy jumped out. At first Rage couldn’t tell what was so weird about him but when he stood next to a guard it struck him. It was the smallest grown man Rage had ever seen. “They put a guy like him…against me?”

But he looked unusual in general. Never had Rage seen any other human covering his upper part of the body with only a cape. And his face was surely quite frightening for other humans since the skin on the right side of his face was burned and had to look quite disgusting from the eyes of someone else than Rage. He however didn’t care. His own skin around the left eye had been burned by iron that now stuck there. It sometimes itched nastily but apart from that it didn’t even matter. But the most remarkable thing about Zeke was that he had red eyes just like Rage. Well not just like him but they had almost the same colour. Zeke’s eyes looked more human though, but it made Rage realize his opponent might not be a complete joke. He was still sure he’d win. “I waited so long to finally kill again and I will”

Then it was time to fight. Rage and the little guy who was indeed Zeke went down the flanks of the vale until they stood in its middle about fifteen meters away from each other. Rage watched his opponent who didn’t even look back and calmly drew an ordinarily looking axe. Now that Rage saw Zeke’s arms he realized they were disfigured. They looked like spiked gauntlets. If his opponent had any powers Rage wasn’t aware of them yet as one of the guys at the edge of the vale shouted “Okay. Everyone get ready. We’re live in five seconds, four, three…”

Should Rage instantly charge the second the fight began or should he first provoke his opponent a little bit? Maybe move a little closer at the same time? He decided to not attack right away.

“Two, one, start.”

But no one made the first move. Rage and his opponent just silently looked at each other. His opponent was obviously aware. Everything was silent until Rage started speaking. “So you are Zeke? I expected someone of my league, not someone too small to ride a rollercoaster.” His deep voice rolled through the vale.

Zeke didn’t respond not even moving his mouth at all, but his eyes shimmered. Rage baled his armoured fists and strode towards the small man. “I thought parents should teach their kids how to speak, sonny. Maybe you should go home to them and learn it.”

Zeke’s answer was a swing of his axe surprisingly unleashing three luminous green balls speeding towards Rage. The fight had begun.

Rage threw up his gauntlets to block as one ball missed him. The second one was partly absorbed partly reflected by his right gauntlet but the third one hit him below the chest. Rage felt pain where the ball hit and staggered back to the impact of the shot but when Zeke swung his axe back in a backhand-strike Rage was already running towards him. This time it was only one ball but it was bigger, faster and aimed on his head. He felt the impact even through his gauntlet as he held it in the balls path. Still the ball continued its travel with another direction. While charging Rage heard the sudden scream of supposedly a cameraman behind him but he kept going while his opponent made the mistake of looking at the hit man. Because of that he didn’t shoot any more balls until Rage reached him.

It didn’t mean Zeke wasn’t aware of his opponent. He already stepped out of the moloch’s path when Rage was about four steps away. Rage slowed down as he saw that, moved towards his target’s new position and put his speed into a right handed hook to the chin but Zeke dodged by sidestepping to his right as well as twisting his body using the momentum to swing his axe at Rage’s stomach. The gauntlet was there just in time to stop the blade but before Rage could do anything else his opponent had already moved on. He took a step back to his left backhand swinging his weapon high. It would’ve never hit Rage but while swinging the handle suddenly increased in length. If the moloch hadn’t took half a step back the blade would’ve probably decapitated him. This way it only left a superficial slash at the neck. Rage roared as blood ran down his chest.

Everything below this line is written after the deadline.
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Rage put all his anger in his next punch, a mighty swinging blow strong enough to catapult his little opponent to the edge of the vale. The huge armoured fist bolted towards where Zeke just stood but he already dived below Rage’s legs. Luckily the axe missed the hamstring but it painfully dug into the moloch’s thig. “Rahhhr,” bawled Rage.

He had to turn around as fast as possible but he was a little too slow giving Zeke enough time to strike his axe into the air. The next thing rage saw was a green shimmer at the bottom side of his vision and the he was sent flying.
It turned out to be a short travel with a hard landing. After hurtling through the air Rage crashed into one of the stone-sprinkled flanks of the vale. “Ughhh.” he groaned.

He tried to stand up but Zeke was there. The small man felt quite heavy as he jumped onto Rage’s stomach. He swung his axe out of the movement, aiming at the neck. Rage however got his left hand between blade and skin and reared up. His opponent staggered up on the moloch’s chest right into his grip. Rage held Zeke’s neck with his right and grabbed the arm with the weapon with his left. His lips formed into a sadistic smile. “Got you”

Holding his opponent in a tight grip Rage rolled over burying the small body with all of his weight. He pressed the right arm holding the axe onto the ground but Rage’s right arm was free “This is the best part of it.”

Zeke held his left arm over his face but Rage hammered against it with all of his strength nonetheless. The arm was surprisingly hard and stood against the steel gauntlets as Rage went rampant on Zeke but it didn’t help a lot in this situation. The moloch threw one punch after another but it did nothing but thrilling his opponent’s head. Rage screamed with every hit. “Die, die, die.”

The punching eventually stopped with Rage realizing he needed the power of the anger within him to break the defence. He couldn’t punch through the arm but he could surely melt it. Zeke trembled, spat out some blood and screamed “I surrender. I surrender.”

His red eyes weren’t scary at all now. Instead they were filled with fear.

But no one cared. Neither the cameras nor the men and women of the RHG Corporation and least of all Rage. The only reaction was a red glow on the palm of steel.

Please vote fairly and unbiased. CnC is of course appreciated. :)

Urako
11-01-2015, 08:47 PM
The only thing I have to say to you roBEAT is to watch your deadlines. It also seemed to lack a real conclusion or verification that Zeke died. Most gladiators can survive a punch to the face with a metal glove, but i'm assuming it finished him off.

As for ThChosenGamer. You're story was alright, but I spotted some grammatical errors.

As much bias aside as possible, I still vote for roBEAT. If he let you write after the deadline, you're good.

roBEAT
11-03-2015, 09:39 AM
I made the mistake of assuming everyone knew Rage and his powers.

One is shooting a red projectile of energy and heat out of his palm. That's pretty much what happened next (indicated by the red glow). Zeke's blood hardening doesn't help against that. He's dead.

But yeah I shouldn't write such an "open" end especially when Rage hasn't used the ability in the same battle.

Malacal
11-03-2015, 08:54 PM
Chosen:
I have one word of advice for you: Lower the dialog, or increase the words between them. Dialog should either be enhanced by words around it, enhance the words around, or both. Most of your story was about the same whether or not the dialog was read. The only thing that mattered was when Zeke decided to join the wRHG. The last thing you want are two people, standing like statues, trading useless words. It creates for poor flow, bad storytelling, and awkward reading. So, work on that and you'll be MUCH better.

roBEAT: You overused the word moloch a bit.
And both of you can take this advice: have real injuries. If you don't have the opponent weaken over time while they beat the shit out of each other, only the final hit matters, so why include anything but? The rest becomes filler at that point.