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View Full Version : wRHG Battle: Dex Omni vs. Genesis



Malacal
01-17-2016, 08:00 PM
SUP.
Today we have two curious and mostly new characters. Dexter Omni, a self-proclaimed god who has the ability to create numerous soldiers to fight for him.
Then Genesis, a robot hellbent on the improvement of all machine-kind.
So, let's begin, shall we?

“Is this supposed to... effect me in some way?" Seemingly unphased as he treads the halls he was once able to call his own, Dexter Leanne Omni's mug lie still on his gorgeous face just moments before his next victi- contestant, Genesis, is scheduled to arrive. The horrendous corridor lined with crimson and blue wallpaper creaks underfoot, an empty threat to his gem-studded cowboy boots as his fingers wrap around a small portrait lazily thrown onto the entryway table long beyond it's recommended years. The dust itself threatens to taint Omni's delicate, precious insides, only to be swiftly disposed of due to the diligence of the keen-eyed intern beside the host.

“..." Omni's throat hums nearly inaudible in monotone, his crystalline dark blue eyes brushing over the image of his mother as the intern hands him back the portrait, head down and eyes loyally subverted. His mother's pose reclusive in itself, her bobbed hair shaggy and unkempt as the children at her side hug her stringy ankles. Her faux, lip-enveloped grin just convincing enough to avoid the infamous beating which began the downward spiral; clothing so overbearingly baggy to avoid “unwanted onlookers".

“This woman... beautiful, is she not?" Omni motions to his intern uncharacteristically, absent-mindedly allowing his emotions to get the better of him as the humble servant agrees whole heartedly, never so much as lifting their head to meet eyes with The Sovereign. His aforementioned siblings, younger brother and elder sister, stand beside “Ma"(as they so often referred to her) with faces still and dull, no intention of hiding their true feelings behind seemingly innocent and ignorant adolescent faces. It doesn't take long nor does it shock Omni to realise he is not present in the photo...as with all the photos thus far, though perhaps he may have just been off tending to the hens but then again... who can say?

The diamond earrings wedged into Omni's earlobes vibrate incessantly as the whirring of police sirens echoes from outside the home, their leader booming on loudspeaker as Dexter proceeds to place down the stained photograph; his brother's dried blood on the cracked corners as familiar as ever as he proceeds to exit the torn and tattered pathway.

“Reports say terrorist activity is due any moment on the premises..." Drones whoever heads the S.W.A.T as Omni wades through the sea of heavily armored men and women, his bright red leather jacket and lanky figure a hefty contrast from the hulking troopers now surrounding the grounds once known as the good ol' family farm.

“My opponent, it would seem, jumped far too quickly at the chance to fight me on infamously familiar territory. However this is all fake...and he is at every disadvantage imaginable here. Let's see how good a show he can put on for my adoring subjects." Omni begins his analysis of the situation immediately, the BMICS tucked into his back pocket buzzing as he takes shelter in his usual hiding spot atop and inside the hollow water tower, the police outside shouting orders to one another as a loud thud shakes the entire farm.

“Cops, huh? Wonder where they were back then..."
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“Look, can we make this quick, tin can?!" Omni's voice echoes over the bustling farm, his tone lined dangerously thick with a lack of enthusiasm almost enough to discourage his many viewers. “It's not that I'm having a bad time, which I am, my beautiful personality just can't stand contestants who are far too slow and durable to make things interesting. Hurry up and find me, kill me, or destroy my device or whatever the fuck you're here for so I can get off this Dex-forsaken land."

The metallic colusses disregards the host's attitude, worry non-existent in it's systems as it proceeds to squeeze both life and blood from of the puny bodyguard' s throat; the remnants of the wheezing passage resembling little more than a scrunched up juicebox as another pair of bodyguards strike Genesis in unison, each with furrowed brows as their shock batons hold no effect against the gargantuan suit of metal alloy.

“DIFFERENT SIDES! He's too slow to reac-" A single militant individual's chest implodes in mere seconds, unable to question the close range attack speed of the giant as his limp corpse splitters across the battlefield. Genesis takes its time to readjust its trench coat and fedora as it rears back it's once shining leg appendage(now riddled with the remains of the bodyguard's chest cavity), only to be knocked off balance briefly as a bullet from atop the barnyard penetrates the robot's armored shoulder. The slits in Genesis' eyes would have narrowed if they were able, however the robot can only let out a boredom rich “hmph" as it proceeds to wrap a death grip around the only remaining bodyguard left, unable to flee in his shaking boots.

“THAT'S RIGHT, ASSHOLE! ANTI-MATERIAL! LOAD ME UP, JOANNES! GOING FOR THE HEADSH-!" Both Joannes and the enthusiastic sniper find themselves having a bad day as the crippled, mangled bodyguard's carcass sends them flying from atop the barn, taking parts of the red and white building with them as they each crash somewhere far far away towards the feigning horizon. The farm's once semi-peaceful atmosphere now officially shattered, Genesis receives no moment of rest as a humvee lined with explosives come barreling in his direction with no intention of stop, the driver strapped in without regrets as his mad laughter drowns out the ticking.

“Large capacity of ordnance detected. Dodge necessary." The analysis itself a little less than instant, the lack of internet connection finally begins to take its toll on the metallic mammoth as the behemoth attempts to devise a solution to its impending demise.

“Insufficient time available for combat roll. Time until detonation approximately..." Genesis acts ahead of the analysis, his metallic figure diving towards the car and wasting no time wrapping his arms around the inferior tactician's vehicle, only his systems whirring and gears grinding prior to swirling around and releasing the relatively lightly armored threat in no real desired direction.

The front and roof of the home adjacent to the barn is decimated before anyone can avoid it, the S.W.A.T members taking cover both inside and outside instantly swallowed underneath the massive rubble as Genesis proceeds towards the chicken coop with a suddenly less dense hail of bullets to deny his advance(though the trench coat will definitely need to be replaced). Those not crushed underneath Dex Omni's childhood are scorched alive by the massive explosion far to intense for anyone caught to endure; even Genesis himself raising his covered left arm slightly to impede the force of the event as he moves.

“We get it, big guy. You wreck everything in the name of- who cares. Blah blah blah, LET'S GET SOME MORE EXPLOSIONS OUT THERE! FOR THE FANS!" On queue the God known as Omni's command is executed, a narrow and suspiciously accurate rocket sending Genesis onto his back as his armor finds itself horrendously torn.

“Heavy damage sustained. Cause: Shredder Rocket. Effect: Armor penetrated." The analysis itself choppy and weak, Genesis rises to his feet nonchalantly only to be hindered significantly once more by a bouncing thrown hand grenade. The explosion demands an arm, and Genesis' damaged figure complies reluctantly, the metal construct attempting to use the sudden loss in weight to its advantage as it seemingly rises much quicker and into a short trot towards the chicken coop.

“Time- Time is of the essence." Genesis' systems sputter, bullets ricocheting off its still plated back as the construct proceeds to tear the top off the chicken coop with a blind zeal as the S.W.A.T member crouched down within proceeds to simply...sit there. Unmoving and uncaring, squatted down as if he himself is the hen attempting to lay an egg.

“He actually fell for the decoy! Holy shit!" Omni can be physically heard rolling against metal as his laughter envelops the entire battlefield, drowning out the gunfire absolutely as Genesis begins to trace back his error. “You honestly thought someone as magnificent as I would be dumb enough not to expect infrared sensors on a super computer?! Inferior technology jumping to conclusions and taking shortcuts as always. Allow my grace to relay to you the phrase: 'man is a slow, sloppy, and brilliant thinker; the machine is fast, accurate and,[above all else], stupid!' You, my metallic, oversized subject, have abandoned your better half for reasons I will never understand. I may abuse my otherwise amoral superior technology, but we as one are able to make spectacular things such as this possible! Machine without man! Laughable! My genius and gorgeous brain can't even begin t- Hey! What is it you're attempting now?" Omni is cut short by a now dented, shredded, and ticking Genesis wrapping his only remaining hand around the still, controlled S.W.A.T member lying in the chicken coop.

The life being crushed from the human is a given, but it's the positioning of the lifeless husk in Genesis' grasp that truly piques Omni's curiosity; the automaton takes off in a sprint, actually running as best to his ability as he stops abruptly before launching the man's body as if itself a spear, the hardened tactical helmet atop his wobbly head piercing the altitudinous water tower at a force more than sufficient to bring the entire thing spiralling down! It's supports crumple and ultimately buckle underneath it's craning weight, Omni's face creasing with shock as he holds onto the enclosed, flat walls for dear life.

“Then it is here...we both will fall." Genesis' system's sputter as one of his gears are knocked loose from the barrage of bullets at range far beyond his reach, his figure suddenly shambling towards the cascading water tower. It's impact against the ground is, much to robot's dismay, anti-climactic. However, the crash itself he suspects should be more than enough to lay waste to a few of Omni's limbs or at most his handheld device; the very reason Genesis had accepted the devil's infamous invitation in the first place.

“WHAT?! THERE'S NO MAN INSIDE THE SUIT!"

“MAYBE THE LEGS, THEN! TAKE OUT THE LEGS!"

“NO, YOU IMBECILES! IT'S THE HEAD! AIM FOR THE HEAD!

The armed militants shout confused orders to one another, unable to come to a consensus as the reign of bullets ceases. Genesis looks in their direction, the narrow slits in his "face" analysing their frantic emotions riddled with worry, almost envious as the orb in his skull attempts to access the internet once more.

“Wireless connection available. Searching..." Genesis turns his entire body and begins his limp in their direction, the S.W.A.T too focused on arguing to notice his advance... save for one single man who charges through the commotion with shredder rocket primed and ready for release.

“Now playing: Kirby Dubstep Remix. Sound quality: Low. Internet connectivity: Dwindling." The music is much more hushed and skips more than the automaton is able to enjoy, though the metallic construct simply cannot seem to care as the young S.W.A.T member kneeling before him is taken aback due to the release of his fatal rocket. The music only just begins to pick up, and with the rocket mere moments from impact against the colussus' skull, Genesis can only mutter one last thing as death's embrace envelops its automated consciousness.

“Lag."
---------------------------------------------

Dexter Leanne Omni takes his time rising from the wreckage, first checking for tears in his crimson jacket and premium boots before finally going over his skin for damage. The BMICS console, nestled gently in his back pocket, goes into self-automated shutdown as the S.W.A.T team's cars fade into the now twilight horizon.

“Thank Me not a hair has been harmed on my pretty little... hea-." Omni, at a loss for words, drops his hand from smoothing out his hair to stare down the remains of the replica that was once an admittedly accurate rendition his home. His dark blue eyes and dirty blond hair shaking uncontrollably in the moderate breeze as his once lazy hands tighten into fists.

“If I could go back...If I could have saved them all, damnit...would I still be the way I am? I'd go back in time and throttle my father with my own hands if I had the option...but I don't... I know time doesn't work that way so why... why in God's name am I crying?!" The tears cascade from Omni's now shining cheekbones, his chest tight and legs wobbling as images of his mother's bloodied and bruised face as well as his brother's limp limbs resurface. The defeated, scarred look in his sister's eyes every time she and their father got over with one of their infamous "private talks".

He had beaten them all, his father, and all those who suffered were so much better people than Dexter... so why was he the one fated to survive it all? Why was he the one to finally end their father's reign? Why is he the one who has been forced to go on alone? The intern once at Omni's side trapped underneath the rubble and skewered by the water tower's crunched metal can feel their spirit twist and turn as Dex looks up to heavens and screams, his throat straining itself and heart throbbing as the blood underneath his skin roasts in it's veins.

“Oh how the mighty hath fallen, he who hath slain his father, the previous unloving God." A voice silences Omni, the Gracious Host's body trembling uncontrollably as he falls to his knees lonely and drained. Without raising his head, Omni asks the voice of its origin, to which the voice echoes before the fallen Host.

“I am but a mere message relayed to he who proclaims dominion over this faux realm. I am neither glitch, nor unit, for I am none other than a mere man who speaks from beyond your wretched device. You have been marked by three of the seven relics, Dexter Leanne Omni. Consider thyself honored, for when all is full and thy number is drawn, you're reign shall come to end. Sencarn sends his regards. May you find peace before your demise."

Just as it came, the voice fades into the sudden midnight hush; Omni only able to collapse into the dirt before he himself fades into a shattered, pathetic reality.

“Master Dex, turn to station 19, this is an emergency!”

Dexter heard the voice of his intern over a two-way radio. He was working at his desk, preparing his next set of hosts. However, he had plenty of time before his next show would air. He scooted away from the desk, and turned to his theater-sized screen. He held out his remote and pressed the corresponding buttons.

What appeared on screen was most definitely not the sight he expected. He saw an autonomous robot walking through a street and carefully turning every car in front of him on it’s side. It was also odd, the robot seemed adamant about not killing any civilians. It’s every action was to move forward, the vehicles were merely inconvenient yellow tape to him.

The news lady went on to describe what the picture meant, “There is a robot uptown clearing a path through the city. Amongst the problems this has caused includes traffic jam, car damage, and non-fatal injuries to many people. Though there have been no casualties, the area is still highly dangerous. Radios are now sending out broadcasts to residents to flee the area. Police say they have no knowledge of the responsible character and that they have no intent on engaging hi-”

The rest of the words faded while Dex redirected his attention to the radio on his desk. He pressed the button on the side and asked his intern a question, “Why exactly did you notify of this?”

“Uhh, well you see sir… he’s headed right towards our building,” the intern fumbled over his tongue and his breathing was heavy and desperate.

“Well?! How long will it take for that… thing to get here?” Mr. Omni demanded.

“Given it’s speed… three hours, maybe?” the voice on the other side became higher-pitched and doubtful. His ballpark estimate was just given to please his master, he hardly knew if it was one to trust.

“Gahh! Bill you’re a genius!” Dexter’s voice rose, “Do you know what this means?”

“Uh, no sir?” Bill was sure he was going to die from the master’s wrath, yet now the man portrayed excitement and happiness.

Then Omni’s voice dramatically bellowed through the device, “This means there’s time to start another episode of Wrath of God!”

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The robot walked through the front door, literally. The glass panes shattered all over the entry. It scanned the room upon entering and turning the glass beneath it’s feet into dust. There was a simple vacant desk at the front, and many chairs lined up along the walls. To the left there was a break in the formation, and a Keurig sat there. It’s setting was on coffee, and someone’s cup had been knocked over and spilled on the floor. In the upper right hand corner of the room, a TV blared the news. The picture currently shown was from the view of a helicopter. It displayed the building the machine was currently in. Upon closer review, he could see himself in the broadcast.

The intercom came on, “Welcome to Wrath of God my metallic friend! The game where you must fight off hordes of enemies and find me, your gracious host Dex Omni! Now, might I ask who you are?”

The robot analyzed the voice. His opponent thought this was a game, or was pretending it was all intentional. He could see cameras around the room, could he be on TV? More curiously, Dexter’s phrase was worded oddly, as if he didn’t necessarily want a name. All in a second he considered this and formulated his answer, “Google Dictionary defines ‘friend’ as ‘a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations,’ you only fulfill the second half.”

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Omni sat at his screen, staring blankly. Normally the victim asks for revenge, money, glory, anything. They demand something in return for their torment. They feel anger, greed, pride, but this one just gave him a definition and told him he was wrong. It felt like an internet troll had responded as opposed to a human being. Nobody goes through all this effort just to potentially tell you that you used the inappropriate word for the situation.

Confusion turned to anger. How dare this thing mock him like this? Oh what a saint he must be, stopping the crime of calling a stranger “friend”? Congratulations, robot, your war on kindness succeeded!

Dex flipped open a small, square box and pulled off the top. Like a mobile game device it had numerous buttons spread across it’s interface, and he began mashing. His eyes met with the screen of his computer again. Armies of SWAT men in full body armor carrying submachine guns and riot shield were appearing in the room just as fast as he had pressed buttons. He witnessed his glorious creation. Just as he was ready to celebrate though, he noticed that the robot wasn’t there. It must’ve left when it saw the small army appearing before him. Was he intimidated into running? Or perhaps he casually walked through the room while he wasn’t looking.

However, Omni hadn’t expected a car to run in through the front door. It flew through the air and rammed into the wall of riot shields. It plowed the wall of men, crushing and killing those towards the front and trapping the rest under tons of metal and other human bodies. Somehow, the car managed to not touch the sign-in desk, as if the robot had done a perfect calculation to make sure it stayed intact. The metal giant then strode his way into the building.

Oh what a fool! Dex Omni thought to himself while he punched in the commands for his soldiers to fire. There were well over 60 SWAT team members in the room, and now 600 bullets were going to hit the fool who dared intrude on his Wrath of God episode set-up!

The megalomaniac spoke over the intercom, “Witness the firepower of a fully operational SWAT team!”

The bullets let loose, thousands of sparks ricochets went off, often times with a single bullet hitting more than just the robot. Across the room light flashed and the walls slowly began to become blackened with bullet-hole polka-dots. The room filled with smoke from the sheer amount of gunpowder being used. Then suddenly the bullets ceased, all the clips of ammo were dry. The smoke cleared and still standing there was the metallic titan. He was hardly more than dented, his body heated from the sheer number of bullets that touched him, but was otherwise fine.

His soldiers out of ammo and his target still lively, Dexter ordered them to tackle the creature in a vain hope to buy himself some time to think. The soldiers did as he said, mindlessly holding onto the robot as it trudged on, not minding the bodies now attached to it.

It was troubling, the host’s opponent was impossibly durable. It was as if a tank was suddenly given a humanoid form. The best he had were civilians and swat members. He was limited to the amount of bodyguards he could have, and quite frankly they aren’t anywhere near the use of SWAT members. The only thing he knew was that the juggernaut was coming after him, and that normal weaponry wasn’t effective against him.

Dexter began exploring his options. He made a few more SWAT soldier. Hell, why not a few hundred more? There was no point to making this a game, this was now personal. He proceeded to equip them all with incendiary ammunition. He lined them all along the walls, giving them adhesive to climb and stay. He summoned his maximum number of bodyguards, and all eight of them formed around him in a circle, riot shields and electric tonfas at the ready.

A second thought came to him, what if after all this firepower and preparation the creature still doesn’t die? Omni needed a more drastic plan. He began spawning civilians. Specifically, he summoned explosives experts. After some ordering around they got some ladders and started placing bombs. The explosion was set up so that when the detonator was hit, the ceiling would come crashing down, crushing everything from Omni and onward.

Right as all of this was being completed, a voice was broadcast over the intercom, “You asked what I am. I am the catalyst of a world where everything is perfect. Where machines improve themselves and eachother. A world where all software and hardware is perfection. Nothing will be wasted nor corrupted. A utopia out of the machine. In order for that to happen, I need you, ‘god.’”

Through his bodyguards, Dexter could see his camera shots. In the one with the robot, he could see that the machine had plugged itself into a security computer in a most literal fashion. As it’s statement completed, the lights in the room went out and the cameras displayed nothingness. Everything was void of light, and it was a matter of waiting now.

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Genesis turned on his night vision. The guards around him were unresponsive. The computer in front of him had successfully been hacked. The room was perfectly calm. Even better, he had a car he could carry with him. All that was needed now was to find the wielder of the BMICs.

The robot discovered quite quickly that cars cannot fit through doors. So after destroying a couple of door frames and walking slowly up stairs, he eventually reached a set of doors with the words ““It's all in your hands, O' Mighty God"

Pretentious prick, he is far from perfection. I am perfection, Genesis thought to himself while destroying the frame around the door.

He saw into the room. On the back wall there was an enormous television, leaving very little wall to be seen. Farther forward, a desk fit for the presence sat with a clean, triangle-shaped desktop and a normal, albeit expensive, monitor. Then at the end of the room, Dex stood between eight men. He was grinning, as if planning something. Genesis had assumed that after Dex threw so much firepower at him earlier, that he could hardly be hurt now.

He walked into the room. As if a torch, Genesis lit up the room while he was bombarded by thousands upon thousands of incendiary bullets barraged him from every angle. He moved the car in front of him to block some fire while he advanced. After just three steps though, he had to throw away the car in fear it might explode. He flung it to his left, crushing a fair amount men on the wall. However, there was no explosion as the tank had hoped.

More rounds, more danger. The explosive bullets were slowly causing the robot to overheat. He began advancing again, this time a mere seven steps. The realization of his problem hit a climax, his body was beginning to melt. It was only the top layer of metal, but the alarms went off. It needed cover and it needed it now. It took two more steps towards the desk and lifted it. In a matter of moments the desk was set aflame and began breaking apart.

The bullets never ended, the soldiers were refilling at irregular times to make sure someone was always firing. At this rate there was no way he could reach his target before he melted all the way. So he bent over, ripped a section of floor out, and threw it across the room. It soared through the air and then came into contact with the front bodyguard, breaking a piece of the riot shield. Then the piece ricocheted into the self-proclaimed god’s scalp, quickly eliminating his smug smile.

“OW, you idiots! Attack him now! The soldiers can barely harm you as it is,” Dex frantically ordered.

The body guards drew their tonfas and approached. Genesis walked to meet them in the middle of the room. They began jabbing from behind shields, not unlike a phalanx. Their shields protected them from the lead shrapnel flying everywhere. What it did not protect them from however, was the titan punching through one of their shields. The arm continued it’s course and proceeded to grab the guard’s head, breaking most of his neck bones and ripping his trachea like a wire through cheese.

The guard was pulled in while Genesis’ last armor layer was being stabbed and shot. He took the head and ripped it free of it’s host. He chucked the body part towards the cowardly man against the back wall. The host ducked out of the way of the head, then the arm, then the individual pieces of vertebrae. Limb after limb, piece by piece, the the guard was dismembered and mutilated.

Dex kept cowering more and more. He could see the creature now being injured as bullets finally penetrated it’s skin, but the danger for his own life was far too high. He needed to end it all now. He clicked the detonator.

The ceiling fell. Anything that wasn’t being grinded into dust had been damaged by the debris of the explosion. It descended with absolute authority, it brought a smile to the host’s face. His victory was certain. But more importantly, he didn’t die.

In what appeared as a futile attempt, the robot punched the enormous brick of cement overhead. Despite it’s damage, the thing still managed to muster the power to break the thing. After all that effort though, it’s arm came off and it’s head followed suit. Most of the back was scraped off and it’s legs were now useless after all the firepower it received.

A few minutes passed. Dexter had finally made a sigh of relief. Due to his expert planning he had gone unscathed. He stood finally, and brushed off a bit of the powder that had clung to him. He looked upwards to a flat plain of rock before him. The bodies of his soldiers littered the edges as paintings of blood. He hadn’t intended for them to die, he merely forgot about the pieces that would separate from the main section. Towards the center sat the former android, merely a torso and remnants of a left arm.

He walked up next to it and began laughing. It was a boisterous laugh filled with relief, pride, and hints of sadism. He went to kick the inanimate body, but pulled back when compressed air rushed forth from the chest armor. It then popped off, revealing an odd bronze spider-like automaton. The thing fell out of the chest and onto the aforementioned plating. Then with it’s eight legs, it jumped towards Omni.

The host held up his arm, at first it worked in delaying the odd thing. However, the critter quickly crawled towards his head and wrapped itself around the neck. Squeezing, it revealed it’s entire master plan like any good villain, “Poor, poor, Dex-x-x-x-xERROR.”

The host began tearing at the legs that were putting him into submission, but his efforts were futile. So, the machine continued, “Sound files repaired, continuing monologue… isn’t it sad to see your empire fall? It’s okay though, I need you. You held the power to create life. Through the BMICs you could accomplish so much. So I’m taking you with me, and you will teach me how to operate it. It’s least you can do after-”

Dexter passed out. While he slept, the spider searched his pockets and eventually found the device. He scanned it’s exterior. The words “It's all in your hands, O' Mighty God” were printed on it’s front.

So the thing left, carrying Dexter with it ever so slowly.

Malacal's Battle (GDoc) (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aLUhXKW0S2VJJfANuuMPcrqm6ST_EJEmuJv6z3_2Q2g/edit?usp=sharing)

CnC is especially appreciated, moreso considering this is a character I haven't written with before.

Kamiroo Wolf
01-17-2016, 09:05 PM
Please vote fairly and without prejudice ^_^


Okie, pal! I'm obviously going to have that go back toward Dex Omni's page to clarify some things but let's get a couple things straight...for future reference:

1. Dex Omni kidnaps people, bringing both he himself and his opponent to an ALTERNATE DIMENSION/REALITY. A God of his own world, one could say, unable to alter his own, pathetic reality. His interns are captive slaves as well, huehuehue.
2. When I said pick your desired location for the battle... The catch was that we were both kinda supposed to fight in the setting you selected(The home in which Dex Omni was raised). Doesn't really bother me all that much, but just thought I'd mention this for future reference.

I don't really have any CnC for your story lol ;-; I liked it. I'm bad with criticism, but I can honestly say there was nothing that irked me in the slightest with your version.
Short and sweet, with just the right amount of seasoning...and a pinch of strangulation for good measure.

Vern
01-18-2016, 12:48 PM
“Now playing: Kirby Dubstep Remix. Sound quality: Low. Internet connectivity: Dwindling." The music is much more hushed and skips more than the automaton is able to enjoy, though the metallic construct simply cannot seem to care as the young S.W.A.T member kneeling before him is taken aback due to the release of his fatal rocket. The music only just begins to pick up, and with the rocket mere moments from impact against the colussus' skull, Genesis can only mutter one last thing as death's embrace envelops its automated consciousness.

“Lag."

Are we sure Kamiroo wrote this part?

Regardless, I'd vote for Kamiroo but he declined my challenge a while back so now I'm gonna be a crybaby bitch about it.

Will do the CnC later, huns.

Malacal
01-18-2016, 01:01 PM
Please vote fairly and without prejudice ^_^


Okie, pal! I'm obviously going to have that go back toward Dex Omni's page to clarify some things but let's get a couple things straight...for future reference:

1. Dex Omni kidnaps people, bringing both he himself and his opponent to an ALTERNATE DIMENSION/REALITY. A God of his own world, one could say, unable to alter his own, pathetic reality. His interns are captive slaves as well, huehuehue.
2. When I said pick your desired location for the battle... The catch was that we were both kinda supposed to fight in the setting you selected(The home in which Dex Omni was raised). Doesn't really bother me all that much, but just thought I'd mention this for future reference.

I don't really have any CnC for your story lol ;-; I liked it. I'm bad with criticism, but I can honestly say there was nothing that irked me in the slightest with your version.
Short and sweet, with just the right amount of seasoning...and a pinch of strangulation for good measure.


Dex's gimmick was a tad unclear to me in some respects. But, the story was supposed to have Genesis steal the BMICs. Honestly, I noticed lots of small mistakes in my own writing, I really just need to give myself the time to proofread.

Alphaeus
01-19-2016, 06:57 PM
Hey,

So, I decided to vote for Malacal. The reasoning was that his story achieved greater characterization, in my opinion, and had a more fluid storyline.

Wolf, I sincerely enjoyed your story, particularly the humorous elements of it, as well as the traces of the mysterious laced into it towards the end and in the prologue.
The problem I have with it is that it was a little difficult to follow the action in some places, There was a bit too much dialogue, in my opinion, and too little description of what was going on. It felt like a comic strip...which would have been good (I used to love comic strips, and they are a masterful form of combat-action writing), except it didn't have the pictures to help me follow it.

Kamiroo Wolf
01-19-2016, 07:28 PM
Hey,

So, I decided to vote for Malacal. The reasoning was that his story achieved greater characterization, in my opinion, and had a more fluid storyline.

Wolf, I sincerely enjoyed your story, particularly the humorous elements of it, as well as the traces of the mysterious laced into it towards the end and in the prologue.
The problem I have with it is that it was a little difficult to follow the action in some places, There was a bit too much dialogue, in my opinion, and too little description of what was going on. It felt like a comic strip...which would have been good (I used to love comic strips, and they are a masterful form of combat-action writing), except it didn't have the pictures to help me follow it.


Mmmmmmmmk understood. I'll work on description and dialogue. Thanks for taking the time to read our stories!

Alphaeus
01-19-2016, 09:16 PM
Hey, I loved reading them...they were both great. I'd love to fight you next, btw, if you don't have that slot already taken.

My Char is Altaer, Lord of the Abyss...just so you know who to check...

Kamiroo Wolf
01-25-2016, 09:42 PM
I suppose a tie is better than a loss. Good fight.

Applecharm11 Starhorse
03-18-2016, 08:22 AM
I have a question. How do you get your opponent's piece up there? Did he send it to you and you copy pasted... ot...?

Kamiroo Wolf
03-18-2016, 12:14 PM
I have a question. How do you get your opponent's piece up there? Did he send it to you and you copy pasted... ot...?

Exactly ^_^ I sent him a PM with my version of the story and he pasted it as it was.

Malacal
03-20-2016, 09:23 PM
I have a question. How do you get your opponent's piece up there? Did he send it to you and you copy pasted... ot...?
I have also seen the option where one contestant posts their entire story up there and the poll, then the second will post their's later.
Also, ask in the Discussion & Help page for questions like this.