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View Full Version : Lord Altaer of the Abyss (Alphaeus) vs. Zalgo (Veir)



Alphaeus
02-12-2016, 03:10 PM
Finally, the battle has arrived!


Altaer, Lord of the Abyss (link in my Sign) has met Zalgo the Fraysan (http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?86416-Zalgo) in battle!




Alphaeus's battle (https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=v7xm97e1105c9f2744d3d9b956cbb532c e0ee)

(this is NOT Gdocs)



Veir's battle (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GDTnzzYm2bIcUTCn2KJH1XDVZ5RNtLmTcOVbNuhWjng/edit)

(this IS Gdocs)

For those who can't use Google:



Zalgo emerged from his dark domain. His old dwelling, the lair of the Night Creatures was seemingly abandoned.

How long did I slumber…?

Walking through the darkened complex, the godking emerged into a rainy night. The alien let out a sigh before making his way towards civilization.

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During his trek, Zalgo searched the surrounding cities for beings worthy of his attention. Suddenly, he felt someone. They existed in the nearby city of Tyros, a place that for the most part had seemed uneventful to Zalgo. Intrigued he started his march towards the area.

Without warning, however, Zalgo’s affliction recoiled with psychic backlash. Whoever they were, they were very powerful mentally. Greatly intrigued, Zalgo spewed oil and rode the wave towards the city, heading for the last known location he sensed.

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Arriving in Tyros, the city seemed almost dead. Rain pattered against the windows of nearby buildings while the streetlights struggled to illuminate the road into town against the darkness of night. After finding the apartment complex the being had been in, he attempted to open the door. Finding it locked, the alien sent oil into the edges of the door. Ripping the barrier off its hinges allowed Zalgo easy access into the building.

Zalgo marched towards the basement. He planned to use his oil to search every floor and just kill everyone. By process of elimination he’d find this intriguing being. However once he reached the basement he, for some reason, felt fear. Pausing, Zalgo sensed out around him.

Seeing a strange glowing gold in the corner of the basement snapped Zalgo back into action. Stalking towards the strange gold glow, Zalgo was confused. In all his years he had never encountered something such as this.

The orb of gold suddenly morphed into a human male. The man looked towards Zalgo, seemingly unfazed by the alien’s appearance.

“Who are you, stranger?” Zalgo’s words reached out mentally.

“I’m Al Abby, judging by the fact that I can mentally sense where you are, I can only assume that you’re the being who had tried to reach me with some form of psychic attack?” Altaer questioned.

“I awoke in a strange area. Everyone I had come to know was gone and I was searching for their power signatures. I came across yours and it was extremely similar to theirs.” Zalgo lied.

“So their power signatures are similar to the Lord of the Abyss’? I find this hard to believe.” Altaer countered.

Surrendering his guise of kindness, Zalgo issued his challenge. “‘Lord of the Abyss’ eh? I like that title. I believe I’ll claim it.”

Oil surged from behind Zalgo, in sharp spikes towards the shadowlight wielder. The man suddenly exploded into some tangible shadow being. He was now nearly as tall as Zalgo and resembled a human skeleton. The new monster rushed towards Zalgo, ripping through his oil like cardboard. A spear that Zalgo hadn’t noticed before was now rushing for his torso.

Zalgo attempted to dodge at the last second, his shoulder getting penetrated by the shadow weapon. It tore through his nearly iron-like skin with ease. The shadow monster wrenched his weapon, tearing through Zalgo’s flesh. With a final tug the Aetheron had torn Zalgo’s entire right arm off. Oil pulsed out of the open wound before hardening into a seal.

Stumbling backwards, Zalgo realized he was outmatched. Oil flowed out of the mouths on the soles of Zalgo’s feet, allowing him to essentially surf towards the exit. Without warning the shadow being appeared in front of Zalgo, grabbing the alien king’s throat. Altaer began to hover into the air, lifting Zalgo with him. The lord of the abyss then chokeslammed the alien into the ground, slamming Zalgo’s face deep into the concrete before cracking through it slightly.

Zalgo began to struggle to his feet before the spear penetrated his back, pushing him back down to the floor. Altaer swung the still impaled Zalgo in an arc, gouging through the concrete with the godking before tossing him towards the ceiling.

Zalgo bursted through the roof of the basement and was once more in the lobby. Oil freely pumped out of the new hole in his back and pooled around the godking. His eyes began to turn black and the multitude of mouths on his body opened up. As the mouth on his chest opened, Zalgo’s dark heart was revealed. Still laying on the ground, oil began to flood the lobby.

The human Al Abby walked out of the basement, casually climbing the stairs. But when the door opened nothing but oil waited for him. Immediately the man switched back into aetheron form and powered against the oil. However he was totally engulfed. Spikes erupted from the oil that had cocooned around the shadow being. Multiple instances of complete impalement wracked through Altaer.

Links began to shatter as his aetheron form failed. It was over within seconds, and Zalgo was left greatly wounded lying in the center of the lobby. Zalgo had never considered what it felt like to die, and wondered if this approaching darkness around his vision was it. Within moments he had passed out in a pool of oil.

Veir
02-12-2016, 05:09 PM
I got absolutely rekt

Alphaeus
02-12-2016, 05:20 PM
Well, I'm sure if you had more time, you would have done better. I've seen your other works. You didn't do terrible, though, even with the way it is.

EDIT: Veir, you're not supposed to vote, ya know?

Malacal
02-14-2016, 06:50 AM
he's not supposed to vote, but he also didn't exactly vote for himself

Crank
02-15-2016, 03:24 PM
Great battle you guys!

Alphaeus, I really enjoyed the pacing and progression of yours and found that you did an excellent job conveying characters and making them human. I personally can't think of anything I would've liked to see added to it or done differently, and greatly look forward to the next chapter for your character!

Veir, I'm on the run so I'm mostly spark noting so I can edit this more in a bit, but even though yours was comparatively short (nothing wrong with that), it was still a pleasant read! I get that you had a lot of ground to cover, but a lot of the transitions seemed a bit empty, and the meeting of the two characters felt a bit unnatural. The other thing is more less because it's something I see a lot. If you don't read many of the battles you might not realize this, which is fine, but there are several times that people end the story with everyone unconscious. Now I'm not saying anything against ties, especially against stronger opponents, but if that is the case, I'd rather the draw either leave a significant impact on the character (maybe too early to tell now, in fairness), or if it was a more drawn out fight so it feels earned on both sides.

Just my two cents.

Again though, great job to your both!

Veir
02-17-2016, 04:54 AM
Thanks for the advice Crank. My idea for the battle was that Zalgo was facing off against an enemy that was MUCH more powerful than himself, which is something he's not used to. I also now realize that because of my poor writing I failed to get across the point that Zalgo didn't die. He defeated his enemy while he himself only passed out.

Alphaeus
02-25-2016, 02:51 PM
Well, this is going to close in about 8 hours, and I doubt that there are going to be six sudden votes on Veir's side.

I give him my congratulations on a great battle, and look forward to any further work with him!

With that, I claim this as my first win!! :D

Chromium7
02-25-2016, 05:49 PM
voted for zalgo! :o