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  • Malacal

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  • Shock.wav

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Thread: wRHG: Penny Dreadful vs. Omega the Usurper King

  1. #1
    The Grand, Exalted, Etc. Malacal's Avatar
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    wRHG: Penny Dreadful vs. Omega the Usurper King

    So yeah, I forgot how I introduce these things.
    So umm...
    WELCOME TO THE BATTLE OF AGES. I GOT SHOCK.WAV TO ACTUALLY WRITE SOMETHING. VOTE FAIRLY.

    Omega vs. Penny Dreadful as done by Malacal
    Spoiler for Malacal's Piece:

    Penny Dreadful vs. Omega by Shock.wav

    CnC would be appreciated.
    Last edited by Malacal; 08-01-2016 at 04:15 PM. Reason: Kamiroo's pickiness
    Full Title: The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate and Honorary Spokesman for All Men in General

    Everyone wants a certain song to play when they enter the room. Adding it to your signature is the next best thing. Even better is when it's not ten-hour Kirby dubstep remix.
    wRHG: Omega
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then prove it with your words and actions, you git.

  2. #2
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Oy, might wanna put each story in a spoiler.
    Last edited by Kamiroo Wolf; 08-01-2016 at 03:42 PM.
    Current wRHG : Baer

    Availability:
    Ready.

  3. #3
    The Grand, Exalted, Etc. Malacal's Avatar
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    Putting a link in a spoiler is pointless. :P

    Supposing you mean the other thing, which is copy/pasting the battle, then we'll have to wait for that as Shock has formatted things in the GDoc.
    I might be able to do it with my battle though.
    Full Title: The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate and Honorary Spokesman for All Men in General

    Everyone wants a certain song to play when they enter the room. Adding it to your signature is the next best thing. Even better is when it's not ten-hour Kirby dubstep remix.
    wRHG: Omega
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then prove it with your words and actions, you git.

  4. #4
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malacal View Post
    Putting a link in a spoiler is pointless. :P

    Supposing you mean the other thing, which is copy/pasting the battle, then we'll have to wait for that as Shock has formatted things in the GDoc.
    I might be able to do it with my battle though.
    Either way, much appreciated.
    Current wRHG : Baer

    Availability:
    Ready.

  5. #5
    Just Smiling Aquila's Avatar
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    Shock.WAV's battle ended with Penny losing the battle... quite seriously at that. That's a strange story to say none the less. Anyways, story boarding aside let's get down to some truly dreadful CnC.

    Malacal, besides the redundant section in the intro, which honestly I'm sure I've done before as well, and the fact you have some few spelling and grammar errors,

    Quote Originally Posted by Malacal
    The thought that someone could reattach limbs in mere seconds was bewildering to the deity. The possibilities for such caliber of healing abilities for medical purposes alone seemed fascinating to him. The potential for a world where breaking your toe could be cured in an instant? Utopian.

    His fantasy, however, was constantly being balanced by the reality around him. Omega’s walk around London made him realize just how limited his scope of this world really was. He had spent so much time in smaller towns and newer cities that he’d never seen Earth’s older architecture. The city had it’s newer portions, but there was so much more ancient architecture that it almost made Omega think he was walking through time. However, this illusion was constantly being ruined by random bystanders with cell-phones taking pictures of him. What was more destructive to this imagining, were the bystanders who felt the need to compliment his cosplay.

    Yet even further his observations of reality were tampered by his goal. When one of Omega’s fleet soldiers had handed him a file with the words “Penelope Jacqueline Whitechapel,” he was immediately intrigued. She had the ability to heal wounds at an unusual rate, even by his species’ standards. The thought that someone could reattach limbs in mere seconds was bewildering to him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Malacal
    Whitechapel’s sword slowly worked it’s way out of it’s sheath, making that distinct metallic sound the whole way. The old man scrambled up the dais. As he stood, the vigilante grabbed his ankle and tripped him. He fell, slamming his face against the edge of the platform. The serial killer cut off his captured foot. He sprawled and convulsed on the ground screaming pleas for mercy. The girl stepped on his other foot and lowered her sword into his chest while saying, “Go to hell, where they don’t discriminate in their punishment.”

    Omega punched his way through the window and lowered himself onto the dais. He stood tall, black, and as metallic as ever. His halo hung behind his back glowed warmly, “I thought you were supposed to be mute, Penelope Jacqueline Whitechapel.”

    It was hardly a gamble at this point to assume that the girl was not the mass murderer in question. She dressed the dressed the same, lived in the same place, and follows the observed behavioral patterns. She also reverted to being mute, a curious thing Omega had never seen before. He commented, “No fleeing in terror? No ‘oh god what is that thing?’ No prayers unto deities that don’t exist?”
    Besides those little nitpicks, I enjoyed your story, nice use of character and personality to drive the story. Omega sure is a crazy sonovabitch ain't he?

    Shock.WAV, your story was awfully one-sided, most amusingly, against you. Perhaps losing was the far more likely scenario as we are pitting a mortal against what could only be considered in comparison a god, still an interesting idea to toy with. As I'm only capable of pointing out the most blatant things, I don't really see much off about your piece. I like your use of italics and bolds though to add like a stressed tone to your work, to exaggerate and emphasize. I wonder if you killed Penny here purposely, are you moving onto a new character perhaps?

    I'm choosing not to vote as I don't want grammar and spelling to be the fundamental factor of my decision. I enjoyed both stories evenly, they were from different points of view so I got to see the characters in different lights and used very well, both stories not skimping on abilities and tactics. Bravo to you both, I tip my hat and wish you both the best.

    I am prepared to meet my maker.
    Whether or not he's prepared to meet me....
    well that's another matter, isn't it?
    Spoiler for Infinite Battle:

  6. #6
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Dammit, Mr. May, hadn't anyone told him nothing good happens past 2am?

    Wait, shoot, my time.

    Anyway! I had to give the edge to Shock in this one, just by a little bit. Malical, for whatever reason, both of the times Penny spoke, I got Horatio removing his sunglasses vibes, and it felt like the blend of horror and humor you made tasted a bit like the sandwich I made at work a few days ago. The ingredients were good on their own, but something about the blend was just a little... off. Probably the onions or the mint. The turkey pineapple and cheese were great though, I liked your action, your strategy and setting, but it felt like you were iffy on what kind of tone you wanted.

    Spoiler for Lighthearted:


    Spoiler for Blackhearted:


    Again, I like humor. Mint belongs in everything as far as I'm concerned, but here, I don't know if I should dismiss Omega or be scared of him. Omega's an enigma, and it's sticking him in some gray, non-scary, non-silly void, which really doesn't help you. I really think this is the onion's fault (damn, untrustworthy onions). Most of the dread felt like it was from Penny's perspective, but it felt she was also the one making the playful observations. Now I know you like both elements, and I don't want to tell you to quit doing one, but it'd be worth playing with how much of each spice to use, or where the spices would be. Maybe if Penny only saw the horror of the monster before her and the joking observations were made in her absence it would've helped. Not sure, but again, nice work!

    Shock, I really enjoyed all the emotion you displayed, and as someone who pretty much needs dialogue in his stories, am always impressed by how well you handle your selective mute! I enjoyed the tone, and look forward to seeing what's in store!

  7. #7
    The Grand, Exalted, Etc. Malacal's Avatar
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    Congratulations to Shock.wav on his victory.
    Full Title: The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate and Honorary Spokesman for All Men in General

    Everyone wants a certain song to play when they enter the room. Adding it to your signature is the next best thing. Even better is when it's not ten-hour Kirby dubstep remix.
    wRHG: Omega
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then prove it with your words and actions, you git.

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