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Thread: Elias

  1. #11
    Slow-Motion Shooter Brosephus's Avatar
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    UPDATE

    Finally got some of the changes I want finished.

    These changes range from tweaks to presentation to full retcons. I've decided to redo the handler character from scratch, giving him a new name, backstory and appearance. He's still not as fleshed out as I want him to be, but like I said earlier, I want to get something finished.

    I also want to redo my demo. A future battle may become a new demo at some point, but for now I'm simple labeling it as outdated.

    I'm back

  2. #12
    Seņor MemeBar Alphaeus's Avatar
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    Very good work overall. Glad you are here.

    Just a few notes:

    There are a couple places where your sentences just end while you

    And then another place where you are writing and the. Which isn't good.
    ^^Aka, just do a quick proof-read to catch spots that do the above kind of statements.

    Secondly, your marksmanship. Up that a bit. If you can't hit a human head at fifty feet, put down your gun. If he's even a halfway decent marksman, up this to a higher range notably.

    Otherwise this char is simple, concise, and well thought through. Underpowered a bit IMO, but we'll see how this goes! Look forward to you being here.

    Might want to whip up a battle with you
    My wRHG Canon: The Remarkable Life of Altaer
    "oh fuck yeah, taco, you've been naughty" ~ Vorpal
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  3. #13
    Slow-Motion Shooter Brosephus's Avatar
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    After giving it some thought, I've decided to replace this character with a new one. While I like this character, there are some ways I want to make writing characters into these battle scenarios make more sense and easier to write for. I will keep this character's info around in case I decide to do something with him. The forum has fallen into a bit of a slump anyway and writing up someone new might give me enough energy to write again.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Chromium7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brosephus View Post
    After giving it some thought, I've decided to replace this character with a new one. While I like this character, there are some ways I want to make writing characters into these battle scenarios make more sense and easier to write for. I will keep this character's info around in case I decide to do something with him. The forum has fallen into a bit of a slump anyway and writing up someone new might give me enough energy to write again.
    Whatever feels right to you! Sorry to hear that Elias is being sidelined for now, but it seems like you're taking it in strides. I look forward to whatever you've got in store for us from here, and you certainly made a lasting impression with your first character here. Good luck with it all.

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