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Thread: "The Bloody Gentleman" Alabaster Finch Demo & Introduction

  1. #1
    A weathered old man SaulMurphy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013

    "The Bloody Gentleman" Alabaster Finch Demo & Introduction

    Come one, come all! To the demo and introduction of my new character: Alabaster Finch. He is now officially part of Acta Sanctorum and will serve the clan for days yet to come. I'm sure you're all excited about this (probably not) so have a gander at the intro-piece:


    Spoiler for The Bloody Gentleman:

  2. #2
    검은 죽음 ChristianEater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    I enjoy the scene where you described the protagonist's appearance by mirror. I do the same, but when writing in the first person.

    I noticed that as the story went on, I felt that you became more "confident" in writing, so the beginning feels a little bland. Easily fixed by returning to the start, and rewriting it while you are filled with the same passion you felt from the rest of the story.
    You may find yourself Amongst the Shadows

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