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Thread: The Lion of Palestine

  1. #11
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    I mean, it's a cool nickname, so long as you're aware that it would raise red flags if someone spoke the language. Like, if I was in China going by The Squirrel (dammit phone, I trusted you) of Harper Woods, whoever speaks English is going to be looking at me like "Alright, but who are you really?"

  2. #12
    ლ(ಠᨎಠლ) IgnusBurns's Avatar
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    Ahhh, I get it. Thanks for bringing that up. Well, it's the name he chose. So his name, Abbas, just means Lion, I've heard of people named lion. Abbas would probably just introduce himself as Abbas.

    Spoiler for Supports:
    wRHG: The Lion of Palestine
    Am I Available For Battle? Nope...

  3. #13
    Seņor MemeBar Alphaeus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urako View Post
    You know what, I take back everything I have ever said about "normal human weaknesses" but I feel it is only fair to warn you about my logic;

    Normal human weakness = glass cannon.

    Almost every gladiator can withstand beatings in combat that would normally kill people in just a few hits. Derrick's staff for example could literally beat someone to death in two or three strikes without firing or using a single kinetic charge if this were real life and he was just a normal human. The same thing goes for most weapons like the a club or an ordinary baseball bat.

    I don't why i'm choosing to say this here but I guess it's because you recently asked me to say what I thought about the character and that weakness just keeps coming up. It's also because I PMed a response and I would have PMed this followup, but I think this logic is sound and wanted to share it.
    See, I don't really agree with this. Normal humans are fucking badass tough-as-nails endurance freaks of the natural world. We can put up with more punishment than just about any other creature and keep on kickin'. Modern society might not be a good measure of this, when half of western folks are these plush AF ninnies who think that Gold's Gym membership actually make them tough. You meet someone who actually does hard labor for a living, or who is a devoted outdoorsman, and there is a toughness there that is perfectly in keeping with the wRHG. When I lived in Alaska I knew some guys where were loggers and participated in the Alaska Loggerman's Competition. 100% "normal" humans tossing around 800 pound logs, turbocharged chainsaws, and RUNNING STRAIGHT UP 100FT+ TREE TRUNKS. This is what "normal" humans can do when they put their minds to it. The human body, when actually trained to do what it is fully capable of doing, is hella awesome.

    Don't knock humans. We are the cockroaches of humanoid beings -- drop a fucking nuke on us and someone is still gonna be around to say "fuck you." Put us in the wilderness and we'll make an empire. Put us in space and we'll study the universe. Put us in war and we'll wreak havoc. Put us in epidemics and we'll invent new cures. Put us in disasters and we'll develop new tech and survival skills. Beat our bones and we'll heal tougher. Strain our muscles and we'll end up stronger. Tax our immunities and we'll end up healthier.

    Human's aren't glass canons. We're tanking AF beatsticks.
    My wRHG Char: The Fixer
    "oh fuck yeah, taco, you've been naughty" ~ Vorpal
    "" ~ Index


    ~Arch

    ~^^ENTER THE TUNNEL^^~

  4. #14
    Senior Member Urako's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alphaeus View Post
    See, I don't really agree with this. Normal humans are fucking badass tough-as-nails endurance freaks of the natural world. We can put up with more punishment than just about any other creature and keep on kickin'. Modern society might not be a good measure of this, when half of western folks are these plush AF ninnies who think that Gold's Gym membership actually make them tough. You meet someone who actually does hard labor for a living, or who is a devoted outdoorsman, and there is a toughness there that is perfectly in keeping with the wRHG. When I lived in Alaska I knew some guys where were loggers and participated in the Alaska Loggerman's Competition. 100% "normal" humans tossing around 800 pound logs, turbocharged chainsaws, and RUNNING STRAIGHT UP 100FT+ TREE TRUNKS. This is what "normal" humans can do when they put their minds to it. The human body, when actually trained to do what it is fully capable of doing, is hella awesome.

    Don't knock humans. We are the cockroaches of humanoid beings -- drop a fucking nuke on us and someone is still gonna be around to say "fuck you." Put us in the wilderness and we'll make an empire. Put us in space and we'll study the universe. Put us in war and we'll wreak havoc. Put us in epidemics and we'll invent new cures. Put us in disasters and we'll develop new tech and survival skills. Beat our bones and we'll heal tougher. Strain our muscles and we'll end up stronger. Tax our immunities and we'll end up healthier.

    Human's aren't glass canons. We're tanking AF beatsticks.
    I don't have anything to say except you win Congratulations. Also, if any of what you said is true, and I believe it is, that's impressive.
    Last edited by Urako; 04-16-2017 at 11:02 AM.
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    I am a self-proclaimed wRHG fight instigator.

    Here is my wRHG character Dozer!

  5. #15
    ლ(ಠᨎಠლ) IgnusBurns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urako View Post
    I don't have anything to say except you win Congratulations.
    I agree, thanks Alph! Yeah, and think, Abbas has lived for five thousand years! He's absurdly, ridiculously experienced!

    Spoiler for Supports:
    wRHG: The Lion of Palestine
    Am I Available For Battle? Nope...

  6. #16
    Just as Planned. 969_DoomsDruid_969's Avatar
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    Neat.

    Just neat.

    I can foresee neat shit emanating from the character like the smell of delicious steak-and-cheese footlongs emanates from a Subway restaurant every goddamn time I pass one.

    But no seriously, good shit.

    I am a quality shitposter(and Magnificent Bastard). You, on the other hand, are a shit-quality poster.

    Spoiler for Writing Motto:

    Spoiler for me:

    (made a wRHG)
    (wants to join a clan for the time being)

  7. #17
    ლ(ಠᨎಠლ) IgnusBurns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 969_DoomsDruid_969 View Post
    But no seriously, good shit.
    Wow Dooms, haven't seen you around for a while. By my standards anyway, wasssssupppp?

    Spoiler for Supports:
    wRHG: The Lion of Palestine
    Am I Available For Battle? Nope...

  8. #18
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    Right, it's been a few weeks now but you asked me to critique your character, here it is.

    Well, to be frank there isn't much left for me to say because I already gave you that six page critique in a PM and you've followed my advice pretty closely, so there isn't really much left for me to critique since what I'd have to say at this point would be what I were to change if it were my character, and it isn't my character so I'm not going to do that because said changes are just personal taste.

    A thing I find strange is that this supposedly nihilistic immortal man would arbitrarily decide to become part of Blade Mercenaries and move to the US and all that pijazz. That seems very forced in there just for your own satisfaction and doesn't feel natural for the character. On that note, I read your battle with Alph and there Abass sorta just accepts to help them willy nilly to contrively make their stories connected. It seems a very odd thing to do for an individual you painted out to be this way, deeply cynical and distant. I mean, he doesn't exactly have a pressing reason to help them, so why should he? But okay, suppose he's kind-hearted enough to lend two people hunted by the CIA some refuge, wouldn't it make sense for more people to have stumbled upon or turned to Abass for similar help in the past or present? Wouldn't there be people already hiding or chilling at his place? It seems very odd for him to selectively try to help Riley and Levi.

    I guess you're going to bring up the fact that they had evidence of his future fate, but he has no reason to trust them on it, to believe them. If he's truly cynical, then for all he knows they're just stringing together a fancy tale to get him to do what they want, and for a man you describe as relying on wits and smarts over brawn it strikes me as odd that he would fall for that. It's pretty obvious Levi and Riley are outlaws and by protecting them he'd be turning an unwanted eye on himself. I imagine that when you're immortal, you don't exactly want to walk in the spotlight all too much lest people start realizing you've been around for centuries and start asking some annoying questions. At least that's what a truly deeply cynical individual would do.

    Moving on, a few more notes on abilities; If he's been around since 3000 BC and has been fighting since he was young, that means he has an impossible amount of battle experience. That is definitely a strength, if nothing else it's easily his biggest one, for where many wRHGs are inexperienced or moderately experienced in the art of battle, Abbas quite literally has hundredfold a lifetime's worth of experience under his belt. In fact, if he's fought for this long I imagine it ceases to amuse and it'd be something he'd shy away from altogether. But okay, that last part doesn't exactly make for an all that interesting wRHG character so I can bat an eye there :P.

    Lastly, and Richard has hammered this home a million times already but in his absence I will keep repeating it ; Being human is not a weakness. Not even for the reasons Alphaeus pointed out, but merely because if your character is human, they share their humanity as weakness and it doesn't require to be pointed out.

    Imagine for a second a character with immense strength and impenetrable skin (hello Luke Cage). Yes, bullets rockets and knives may just bounce off of this person but if you hit him hard enough, you're bound to hurt him somewhere on the inside. Heck, that doesn't even protect him from ; Extreme temperatures (fire/ice magic), any sort of attack via gas or poison, or extreme blunt force. If I were to just smash into his head with a truck I'd probably knock him unconscious through concussion, if not break his neck altogether. The weaknesses of the human body aren't as much weaknesses as they are merely limitations that come with this form. What I'm saying is, if your character is human, they have these limitations and it doesn't have to be mentioned. It should only be mentioned when one of said limitations is NOT the case (EG can't be hurt by bullets/knives/rockets cause his skin is impenetrable).

    So when is this not the case? When you are dealing with things that aren't human. Think dragons, aliens, androids, cyborgs, all that jazz. Even if they take on the shape of man, they may not share in his limits. An android, for example, suffers not from being stabbed through the heart because they don't have one. You may shoot an alien in the head and he may shrug it off because his brain is in his butt or something. Heck, they may not even necessarily have a brain or vital functions at all and just be a consciousness a la Handyman. Anything is possible.

    Arrogance also doesn't really apply as a weakness if he's got thousands of years of experience under his belt. He may be very confident, yes, but if he were a person to grow overconfident, he would have done so a long time ago and already fallen flat on his face because of it. What I'm saying is, if your character has lived and fought this long, there's no way he's not yet been humbled at least once.

    "but if I remove human and arrogance, he basically has no weaknesses" I'm hearing you say. Well to be frank, your character is also just a human with a shitload of experience under his belt and nothing else. He doesn't have any fancy powers to aid him in battle, no magic tricks up his sleeve, so he doesn't necessarily require a particular weakness to offset this. Weaknesses are usually just limitations, and as we just covered ; Being human itself is his limitation, but not his weakness.

    That's about all I have for critique. It's a decent character, albeit a bit generic considering how many characters like this one we've seen before in the lounge. Still, you did enough with it to make it your own thing and for that, good job. Good luck in your battles.

  9. #19
    ლ(ಠᨎಠლ) IgnusBurns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vern View Post
    GIANT WALL OF TEXT
    Well, alrighty then! I'll do just that... In fact... UPDATE!!!

    -Removed two weaknesses

    -Added another section to Physical Abilities/Weapons

    But yeah, I appreciate the short story of text you managed to fit on this page. Impressive...

    Spoiler for Supports:
    wRHG: The Lion of Palestine
    Am I Available For Battle? Nope...

  10. #20
    Lost dreamer
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    Quote Originally Posted by IgnusBurns View Post
    Well, alrighty then! I'll do just that... In fact... UPDATE!!!

    -Removed two weaknesses

    -Added another section to Physical Abilities/Weapons

    But yeah, I appreciate the short story of text you managed to fit on this page. Impressive...
    You should know by now that this is one of my shorter critiques :P

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