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Thread: Erik Eolas

  1. #1
    Member Oster's Avatar
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    Erik Eolas

    Name: Erik Villamayor Eolas
    Age: 18
    Gender: Male
    Race: Human
    Alignment: True Neutral

    Spoiler for Abilities:


    Spoiler for Weakness:


    Spoiler for History:


    Spoiler for Personality:


    Spoiler for Appearance:


    Spoiler for Familiars:


    Spoiler for Demos:


    Spoiler for Relationships:


    Spoiler for Encounters:

    Spoiler for Possible Familiar Preview:


    Points
    W/L/T/F
    3/1/0/0

    Availability: Yes

    Feel free to mention anything that you think is OP, Inconsistent or insufficient and I will do my best to remedy the situation, CnC is gladly accepted.
    Thank you for taking the time to read, I hope Erik is acceptable
    Last edited by Oster; 12-05-2017 at 01:31 AM. Reason: Updated Battles, points and Yukari

  2. #2
    Señor MemeBar Alphaeus's Avatar
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    First off, Welcome to Stickpage and The Writer's Lounge!

    Secondly, well now...congrats and a great first character. I feel that it's well balanced, and well thought out. Also happy that you seem to have a good grasp on grammar and descriptions (a few slips, but I don't tend to grammar Nazi folks until they are more experienced).

    Thirdly, for the Demo -- short and to the point, but gives a good enough idea of how this works. I would suggest just a bit more descriptiveness to set the scene better.

    Fourthly -- the one point of clarity for I would like just a bit more is precisely how sentient and how autonomous these puppets are. You say he has to control only one at a time, but I feel like from the descriptions and demo even when he's not using them they are still "living" to an extent.

    Lastly -- This isn't really a critique, just a suggestion. Most wRHGs here aren't ACTUAL magic/mana/chi/whatever users. Off the top of my head I can only think of two (Leo and Abra, although there might be more). By and large most of them possess innate abilities that are derived from science or just their own powers, or supernatural stuff, aliens, etc. In that light, you might want to broaden your target from being magic-ish to a bit more generally referring to supernatural abilities. In most of your battles I feel like at this point you would end up rather easily outclassed because of this mere technicality.


    Anyhow, absolutely great first char. We very rarely see these initial characters from newbies come out so good. Well done.

    Also, I think I'd like to challenge you once these revisions are made.
    My wRHG Canon: The Remarkable Life of Altaer
    "oh fuck yeah, taco, you've been naughty" ~ Vorpal
    "" ~ Index
    Spoiler for More stuff:

  3. #3
    W 4/L 4/T 0/F 0 Piston1937's Avatar
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    okay now I have to finish Pupas and get him to fight you.
    My Character test room
    Spoiler for Duelist:

    Spoiler for RHG:

    Spoiler for WRHG:



    My Twitch Stream(For those of us who play video games)

    Availability : Feel free to battle me.



  4. #4
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Heh, I'm liking that we're getting a few more not so good guys! Interesting squad, although I got some questions about Ciel's vision.

    Similar to Alph, magic works different character to character, so assuming that supernaturalness is channelled by chi/mana, how does she see it? Area effect, for example, would that be a blue cloud in the effected vicinity, or is just the guy gonna be looking special.

    On that note, do people with magic all look the same? Like, let's say blue is the color. Could she see blue entirely inside magic manipulators, or in what controls it? Like, would vision powers just surround the eyes?

    Similarly, does the strength of these powers look different? Would x-ray vision look more intense than night vision, for example?

    Lastly, if someone is magic, would they look different? Clone/angel/demon sort deal.

    Welcome to the Lounge!

  5. #5
    Señor MemeBar Alphaeus's Avatar
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    @Crank @Oster

    Yes, I will second the question about Ciel's vision. I mean, I'm picturing it like Neo's code-sight (if you are a Matrix fan), but that's just me.

    Also, thought I'd drop this note here: I see you have only one post. As things stand there is a kind of new-member limbo with the site for security purposes, so if you post links/pics that tends to lock up your posts or posting ability. Some people have issues with avatars/profile pics as newbies as well. Currently the mods handle this as quickly as possible, although it becomes moot once you pass 20 posts (I think that was the limit).
    My wRHG Canon: The Remarkable Life of Altaer
    "oh fuck yeah, taco, you've been naughty" ~ Vorpal
    "" ~ Index
    Spoiler for More stuff:

  6. #6
    Member Oster's Avatar
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    Thank you, I'm glad to be here. Thanks for the insights, though this is quite unexpected. I thought either Scarlet or Gris would be initially problematic. Well, I'll get to revising Ciel's powers right away, I think that changing Mana to Energy should suffice as the general term can encompass all kinds of peternatural and supernatural anomalies while still keeping what I wanted her to be capable of.

    @Alph
    If possible could you list what errors there were, Knowing where the problem is the first step to fixing it afetr all.

    Advice taken, though I'll try not to create walls of text, I have a nasty habit already.

    Dang, I took a look at Altaer, oh wow he's intimidating, but I'll look froward to it. (Prepares self for a beating)

    They're actually a lot like Fate Servants just remove a lot of the free will. They are fully sentient but their reason for existing is mainly to serve whoever they are bound to. In a fight they are similar to fighting an actual human being, they can think ahead and plan but outside of fighting they have little desire outside of what was placed in them, Scarlet to "Protect" as her idea of being a Knight, Ciel to "Learn" as a scholar, and Gris to "play." That being said Erik has granted them a large degree of freedom when it comes to dealing with him as their master.

    @Piston
    Wow, right out of the gate and I already have a target painted on my back.

    @Crank
    Thanks for the questions, I'll probably answer in full by editing the profile but for short answers

    First, in the question of an AoE spell(or attack, I guess) at first it would look like a cloud of energy, now assuming the attack continues, she can quickly refine her vision to make it look like electric circuits, her Spellbreaking works by interrupting or collapsing the flow of energy to the nodes that need it.

    Second, if the entity has a flow of power inside them then it would look like a bunch of blood vessles, kinda like how they showed Chakra flow in Naruto. As to body part specific powers then yes the part of the body using the energy would glow brighter, in that vein if multiple parts are using energy simultaneously then the more energy guzzling parts would glow more. If the energy is channeled from an outside force then she would only see the flow of energy from the outside to the part using it. Unless its a whole body power up then the basics apply.

    I would think so too but I'll get back to you how the differnces appear. Finally of the being pracically subsists on energy then it would look like a large mass of energy in the shape of a person, the answer to the above question still applies just that her predictions would be less accurate.

    I hope this answers your questions. Now to editing the Profile.

  7. #7
    Abnormal Azarel CS.777's Avatar
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    A puppeteer... kinda reminds me of Kankurou, Gaara's big brother, but looks preety original to me...
    Azarel "Technix" Lionsmane
    The Room of Warriors




    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

  8. #8
    Member Oster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azarel CS.777 View Post
    A puppeteer... kinda reminds me of Kankurou, Gaara's big brother, but looks preety original to me...
    I won't deny the similarity but thanks for the compliment. In reality, he's kinda my weird way of letting a character have many non-related abilities without being complete trash or overcomplicated in backstory.

    Sounds like you like him, I'm glad.

  9. #9
    Abnormal Azarel CS.777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oster View Post
    I won't deny the similarity but thanks for the compliment. In reality, he's kinda my weird way of letting a character have many non-related abilities without being complete trash or overcomplicated in backstory.

    Sounds like you like him, I'm glad.
    Yeah, I do like him. I added you to my hitlist.
    Azarel "Technix" Lionsmane
    The Room of Warriors




    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

  10. #10
    Member Oster's Avatar
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    Oh, Damn! That was quick! Well, feels nice to see that I'm good enough for that.

    I might take you up on a battle soon but I already challenged Elias to a match, no reply yet though so maybe soon.

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