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View Poll Results: Who won?

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  • Azure(Prey: Winston)

    4 40.00%
  • Kamiroo(Return to Normalcy)

    6 60.00%
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Thread: M.A.(Azure) Versus Winston(Kamiroo Wolf)

  1. #1
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    M.A.(Azure) Versus Winston(Kamiroo Wolf)

    I... don't have an entertaining introduction U_U

    Today we've got a match between in the Azure's M.A.: The Sentient Plague and Kamiroo Wolf's Winston.

    Remember to vote fairly and feel free to give feedback on either piece! May the best man/plague win.

    Spoiler for Prey: Winston(By Azure):


    Spoiler for Return to Normalcy(By Kamiroo):
    Current wRHG: Declan "Mirage" Stoddardr

    Availability:
    Slaughter. Me.

  2. #2
    Member GenericAnon's Avatar
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    i feel privileged being one of the first people to comment! Though I'm not sure if I'm fully qualified to give CnC to two members who've been on the forum a lot longer than I have...

    Nevertheless, I'll try and be fair and offer my opinion as best I can.

    Spoiler for Prey: Winston:


    Spoiler for Return to Normalcy:
    I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.
    -Anne Frank

  3. #3
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Spoiler for Azure's Piece:
    Current wRHG: Declan "Mirage" Stoddardr

    Availability:
    Slaughter. Me.

  4. #4
    Skull Enforcer Azure's Avatar
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    @GenericAnon

    I read every comment on anything I post good sir, and as anyone can tell you, I tend to view everyone as equals (to the grit and ire of some). I do know that my tense usage has been an issue for many in the past, and sadly, it's not something so easily broken from. I write stories as though I were witnessing them, and as such, sometimes actions will occur in a sequence, to which I describe them as happening before getting to the current action. It's not just one continuous present tense, but more reactionary. Sometimes you just need to catch up. I do apologize if it breaks immersion.

    As for making it seem too quick, well, that was more due to surprising time constraints than anything. Originally, I planned to have M.A. show up the next night, just appear and "vanish," so to speak, then have her become an actual threat to Winston the next day. I always planned for her attack to come during the day, because it feels even more terrifying to some extent, seeing that the thing you feared in the dark is just as content coming after you in the day as well, and it removes that sense of safety people have that daylight equals safety.

    @Kamiroo Wolf

    Sorry to not kill you off. While I'm not making these stories particularly canon, I'm making them somewhat their own separate independent canon, and I felt that keeping Winston alive fit the weird narrative I held in my head. Mostly, having a summoner who is secretly subject to the whims of a creature that wants to expand itself is an ingenious idea that, while appearing to give M.A. more intelligence than she actually has, is more a normal instinct for her since the stick figures don't really appear as prey for her, and the knight she had as an incubator couldn't exactly return "home" on its own.

    Glad I could nail Winston in a satisfactory manner, however, as that's my main intent with these stories. Focusing on the other character and narrating them as their authors might in a situation (if, of course, you were forced to make them lose). I'll be reading your piece shortly, but I'm sure I'll enjoy it!

    Spoiler for What I've Obtained:

  5. #5
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    I agree with your review absolutely, Generic, and thank you sincerely for the praise regarding my introduction. Even as I was writing the encounter, I was struggling to find the right way to execute it. I guess I ended up taking the easy route and turning it into the fight it shouldn't have been.

    I have a lot to learn from you and I hope you stick around awhile.
    Current wRHG: Declan "Mirage" Stoddardr

    Availability:
    Slaughter. Me.

  6. #6
    Skull Enforcer Azure's Avatar
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    Btw, Kamiroo, if you want this to be a spar or anything, just lemme know, alright?

    Spoiler for What I've Obtained:

  7. #7
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azure View Post
    Btw, Kamiroo, if you want this to be a spar or anything, just lemme know, alright?
    Nah, I'm fine with whatever the results are if you that's alright by you. Thanks for the offer, though, I'll let you know if my mind changes.
    Current wRHG: Declan "Mirage" Stoddardr

    Availability:
    Slaughter. Me.

  8. #8
    Señor MemeBar Alphaeus's Avatar
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    @Azzy:

    I gave you my CnC in Skype. A very good job, quite well written, as usual.

    @Kami

    You ended up getting my vote. To be honest, this is largely due to the fact that Azure's piece was somewhat stunted in development, as he himself has already acknowledged/explained.

    You have some times where sentences weren't constructed as well as they could have been, and at least one malapropism (you don clothes. You don't dawn them, which is what you wrote).

    That said, I feel like you did MA justice on the ferocity and fearfulness of its power. I feel like my skin is crawling now, which means you did great. The ending, I feel, should have gone slightly different, but you still conducted it satisfactorily. Though it was a bit out of character for MA to do that last attack, it served well to hit a climax, so good literary/storytelling there.
    Last edited by Alphaeus; 07-15-2017 at 12:31 PM.
    My wRHG Char: The Fixer
    "oh fuck yeah, taco, you've been naughty" ~ Vorpal
    "" ~ Index


    ~Arch

    ~^^ENTER THE TUNNEL^^~

  9. #9
    King Veir Veir's Avatar
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    First off I didn't have a lot of time and Kamiroo's is a lot longer. So I'll read and cnc it later.

    Azure: Your writing is as great as ever. However, the story itself was honestly pretty boring. I found myself getting excited at parts looking forward to this battle between a parasitic monster and this summoner who's powerful knight was getting hyped up for half the writing, only to have the battle end with two simple attacks. It was a pretty big buzz kill tbh. Your writing is great but the story just lacked conflict for me. As it stands Kamiroo has a pretty good chance of getting my vote.

  10. #10
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veir View Post
    First off I didn't have a lot of time and Kamiroo's is a lot longer. So I'll read and cnc it later.

    Azure: Your writing is as great as ever. However, the story itself was honestly pretty boring. I found myself getting excited at parts looking forward to this battle between a parasitic monster and this summoner who's powerful knight was getting hyped up for half the writing, only to have the battle end with two simple attacks. It was a pretty big buzz kill tbh. Your writing is great but the story just lacked conflict for me. As it stands Kamiroo has a pretty good chance of getting my vote.
    Oh boy, you're not gonna be too happy <_<
    Current wRHG: Declan "Mirage" Stoddardr

    Availability:
    Slaughter. Me.

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