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  • Wisdom and Deception(Ignus)

    4 44.44%
  • Fighting Dirty(Kamiroo)

    5 55.56%
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Abbas(IgnusBurns) Vs. Mirage(Kamiroo Wolf)

  1. #1
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Abbas(IgnusBurns) Vs. Mirage(Kamiroo Wolf)

    Alright, after a long and frustrating attempt at writing my own character, I present to you a battle between a lowly scavenger and a fierce predator!

    Today it's:

    Abbas, The Lion of Palestine

    Vs.

    Declan "Mirage" Stoddard, The Vulture

    CnC is appreciated on both ends and remember to vote fairly!

    Spoiler for Wisdom and Deception(Ignus' Story):


    Spoiler for Fighting Dirty(Kamiroo's Part):

    Availability:
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  2. #2
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Edit: Whoops, never mind, thought I screwed the poll. And sorry for the double post, will try to post the CnC for both stories here.

    Double edit:

    Spoiler for Ignus CnC:
    Last edited by Kamiroo Wolf; 09-10-2017 at 09:31 PM.

    Availability:
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  3. #3
    ლ(ಠᨎಠლ) IgnusBurns's Avatar
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    Ouch, we both ended our opponents rather brutally didn't we?


    Spoiler for CnC:
    Spoiler for Stuff You Probably Don't Care About:

    Spoiler for Supports:
    Am I Available For Battle? Nope...

  4. #4
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IgnusBurns View Post
    Ouch, we both ended our opponents rather brutally didn't we?


    Spoiler for CnC:
    Yeah, looking back the transition was pretty unnecessary and there wasn't enough motivation for them to fight as hard as the both of them did. Frankly, I'm just glad I was able to finish(not particularly something to be proud of, but still). I tend to bite off a bit more than I can chew every time I try to write Declan, but I'm confident it'll get better with more practice.

    Availability:
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  5. #5
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Alright, here goes!

    Ignus:
    You've got a lot of good choreography going on and you did well with describing your settings, but most of the story felt kinda emotionally void. Abbas thinking Mirage needs to die is stated early on, but it's not really shown until the end. Sure, I know Declan is a bad guy, but it's not really shown until the last few paragraphs, but even then, they felt more in place to keep Abbas in a darker light. Without showing the character's mind/intents/feelings/whatnot, it's hard to get invested in either. Struggle, wrath, something for your reader to latch onto. It was a good fight, but it just didn't make me care about the characters.

    Does Levi get cornered into these types of talks a lot though? He seems pretty numb to it and gives in easy against the argument of maybe not killing people. The topic just seemed to be discussed a bit casually, I suppose.

    Wolf:
    Spoiler for :


    All in all, great work you guys! Looking forward to what comes next!

  6. #6
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    @Crank

    I understand what you mean entirely with the cut off, and the Game of Thrones clip really does help with this issue I've been having lately. Next time I'll be sure to reel back and take time to flesh out the weight of the situation instead of gunning to end the fight in a surprising manner(I've been trying to obtain an abrupt ending without making the ending abrupt, so to speak, and I've been going about it all wrong ever since my fight with Azure and possibly before that) without any explanation as to just what the outcome means for the world's canon. I need to take a step back and remember that this isn't some random stick figure animation, but a world with consequences that requires I pay more attention to its inhabitants and circumstances. Or, at least, I feel like I'm on the right track... which is a start.

    @Ignus

    I'd like to thank you for a sincerely good fight. I really enjoyed testing both of our characters and while I feel I didn't do Abbas justice(character and combat wise), I did enjoy working with him. Hopefully we'll get to have a another go some time in the future when you've got a different character(unless I pull some resurrection type shit), but yeah.

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