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View Poll Results: Who Won?

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  • Wisdom and Deception(Ignus)

    4 44.44%
  • Fighting Dirty(Kamiroo)

    5 55.56%
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Abbas(IgnusBurns) Vs. Mirage(Kamiroo Wolf)

  1. #1
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Abbas(IgnusBurns) Vs. Mirage(Kamiroo Wolf)

    Alright, after a long and frustrating attempt at writing my own character, I present to you a battle between a lowly scavenger and a fierce predator!

    Today it's:

    Abbas, The Lion of Palestine

    Vs.

    Declan "Mirage" Stoddard, The Vulture

    CnC is appreciated on both ends and remember to vote fairly!

    Spoiler for Wisdom and Deception(Ignus' Story):


    Spoiler for Fighting Dirty(Kamiroo's Part):

    Availability:
    Scheduled.

  2. #2
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Edit: Whoops, never mind, thought I screwed the poll. And sorry for the double post, will try to post the CnC for both stories here.

    Double edit:

    Spoiler for Ignus CnC:
    Last edited by Kamiroo Wolf; 09-10-2017 at 08:31 PM.

    Availability:
    Scheduled.

  3. #3
    ლ(ಠᨎಠლ) IgnusBurns's Avatar
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    Ouch, we both ended our opponents rather brutally didn't we?


    Spoiler for CnC:

    Spoiler for Supports:
    wRHG: The Lion of Palestine
    Am I Available For Battle? Nope...

  4. #4
    Not good with jokes. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IgnusBurns View Post
    Ouch, we both ended our opponents rather brutally didn't we?


    Spoiler for CnC:
    Yeah, looking back the transition was pretty unnecessary and there wasn't enough motivation for them to fight as hard as the both of them did. Frankly, I'm just glad I was able to finish(not particularly something to be proud of, but still). I tend to bite off a bit more than I can chew every time I try to write Declan, but I'm confident it'll get better with more practice.

    Availability:
    Scheduled.

  5. #5
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Alright, here goes!

    Ignus:
    You've got a lot of good choreography going on and you did well with describing your settings, but most of the story felt kinda emotionally void. Abbas thinking Mirage needs to die is stated early on, but it's not really shown until the end. Sure, I know Declan is a bad guy, but it's not really shown until the last few paragraphs, but even then, they felt more in place to keep Abbas in a darker light. Without showing the character's mind/intents/feelings/whatnot, it's hard to get invested in either. Struggle, wrath, something for your reader to latch onto. It was a good fight, but it just didn't make me care about the characters.

    Does Levi get cornered into these types of talks a lot though? He seems pretty numb to it and gives in easy against the argument of maybe not killing people. The topic just seemed to be discussed a bit casually, I suppose.

    Wolf:
    Spoiler for :


    All in all, great work you guys! Looking forward to what comes next!

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