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View Poll Results: Is he overpowered?

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Thread: Azarel "Violet" Stavros, the Bladeslinger

  1. #1
    Senior Member Azarel CS.777's Avatar
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    Azarel "Violet" Stavros, the Bladeslinger

    Violet
    Quote Originally Posted by Violet
    "Me? I'm the last thing you'll never see."
    Gladiator Rank
    G-B

    Spoiler for Personal info:


    Spoiler for Battle data:


    Spoiler for Writings:


    Spoiler for Other stuff:


    Spoiler for Changelog:


    Please tell me if something seems vague, OP or inconcistent and I will try to fix it.
    Last edited by Azarel CS.777; 09-26-2017 at 07:57 AM. Reason: Added story and added a name
    Violet the Bladeslinger
    The Room of Warriors


    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

  2. #2
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Alright, uh, first off, your stats are really funky. I'll show you what I mean with my guy.

    Strength: 2/10
    Strength measures how much damage a gladiator can do, 1 being no more than scratch damage and 10 being able to destroy a city in one fell Falcon Punch.

    Okay, Serif can break someone's jaw, but a single building would break his fist before it gave way.

    Durability: 1.1/10
    Durability measures how much damage a gladiator can take as well as how much endurance they have, 1 being able to take only a few hits before they're down and 10 being able to survive getting hit by a nuclear bomb... to the balls.

    Okay, the nuke that fell on Hiroshima had the strength of 15 kilotons of TNT. TNT can kill Serif all by itself.

    Speed: 4/10
    Speed measures how fast a gladiator's reflexes are as well as how fast they can run, 1 being stationary and 10 being able to beat Sonic the Hedgehog in a race.

    As a fast person who runs, a lot, I can give Serif a 20mph, which would be about a 2 (Sonic is 179), but I'm giving bonus points for his talisman.

    Dexterity: 8/10
    Dexterity measures how accurate a gladiator's strikes are as well as how graceful and agile they are, 1 being a living wrecking ball and 10 being gifted with flawless accuracy and coordination.

    Serif is actually a damn good shot.

    Intelligence: 7.5/10
    Intelligence measures how cunning and tactical a gladiator is, 1 being a brute who just charges into the fray and 10 being a mastermind who exploits every flaw in an opponent.

    He's pretty clever

    Powers: .5/10
    Powers determine how OP your gladiator's superpowers and special moves are, 0 being powerless and 10 being able to wield multiple high-level powers like Dragon Fist and nuclear laser beams.

    Nukes again.

    Weapons: 8/10
    Weapons determine how OP your gladiator's weapon(s) of choice is, 0 being unarmed and 10 being armed with at least one Infinity +1 Sword.

    Sword is a melee weapon, ranged has a substantial edge.

    Total Points: 31.1/70
    Entirely for being pretty clever, bringing bolas to a sword fight and being accurate. Without that, we're looking at 7.6 out of 40. If you're going to have this section, you need real reference points and a definition of what his numbers actually mean.

    Why is fire strong against air? Fire needs oxygen to survive, without it it will starve. Also, a strong wind can put out a fire.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Chromium7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azarel CS.777 View Post
    Durability: 7/10
    Durability measures how much damage a gladiator can take as well as how much endurance they have, 1 being able to take only a few hits before they're down and 10 being able to survive getting hit by a nuclear bomb... to the balls.
    stat system is sexist

    Quote Originally Posted by Azarel CS.777 View Post
    Clan/Faction
    Trying out for Sanctuary.
    figures

  4. #4
    Just better than you GreekGladiator's Avatar
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    This looks actually really good. Although I don't understand how he fights by throwng his longswords. Also, although I might be wrong, not every IQ measurement is the same and some don't go over 200. You probably need to identify the IQ more. Also plain IQ doesn't mean he can be as creative or problem-solving as a person with lower IQ. Damn I don't get why people need to tell their wRHG's IQ all the time. Lastly Aerokinesis isn't pretty clear.

    P.S: Is it me or do I see more and more gladiators with Greek origin?
    My wRHG: The Elementalist
    Have fun everybody!
    Spoiler for Truth:

  5. #5
    Food-loving Senior Member FalconX578's Avatar
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    So it's pretty much Azarel CS.777's Azarel H. Zayn + Hanif13's Arzon + Hyun's One + The blades that left Poseidon to die.

    I like it.

    Can't wait to have our friendly spar with this new guy, and I won't have to make a new plot since the two still share similar goals, that being the demon hunting aspect (unless I got that mixed up). Nice dude!
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Information:

    wRHG: Farukon.
    wRHG Test Room: The Birdcage.
    Stick Empires Username: FalconX578.
    Quote Originally Posted by Iroh
    "Follow your passion, and life will reward you." ~Iroh



  6. #6
    Senior Member Azarel CS.777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crank View Post
    Alright, uh, first off, your stats are really funky. I'll show you what I mean with my guy.

    Strength: 2/10
    Strength measures how much damage a gladiator can do, 1 being no more than scratch damage and 10 being able to destroy a city in one fell Falcon Punch.

    Okay, Serif can break someone's jaw, but a single building would break his fist before it gave way.

    Durability: 1.1/10
    Durability measures how much damage a gladiator can take as well as how much endurance they have, 1 being able to take only a few hits before they're down and 10 being able to survive getting hit by a nuclear bomb... to the balls.

    Okay, the nuke that fell on Hiroshima had the strength of 15 kilotons of TNT. TNT can kill Serif all by itself.

    Speed: 4/10
    Speed measures how fast a gladiator's reflexes are as well as how fast they can run, 1 being stationary and 10 being able to beat Sonic the Hedgehog in a race.

    As a fast person who runs, a lot, I can give Serif a 20mph, which would be about a 2 (Sonic is 179), but I'm giving bonus points for his talisman.

    Dexterity: 8/10
    Dexterity measures how accurate a gladiator's strikes are as well as how graceful and agile they are, 1 being a living wrecking ball and 10 being gifted with flawless accuracy and coordination.

    Serif is actually a damn good shot.

    Intelligence: 7.5/10
    Intelligence measures how cunning and tactical a gladiator is, 1 being a brute who just charges into the fray and 10 being a mastermind who exploits every flaw in an opponent.

    He's pretty clever

    Powers: .5/10
    Powers determine how OP your gladiator's superpowers and special moves are, 0 being powerless and 10 being able to wield multiple high-level powers like Dragon Fist and nuclear laser beams.

    Nukes again.

    Weapons: 8/10
    Weapons determine how OP your gladiator's weapon(s) of choice is, 0 being unarmed and 10 being armed with at least one Infinity +1 Sword.

    Sword is a melee weapon, ranged has a substantial edge.

    Total Points: 31.1/70
    Entirely for being pretty clever, bringing bolas to a sword fight and being accurate. Without that, we're looking at 7.6 out of 40. If you're going to have this section, you need real reference points and a definition of what his numbers actually mean.

    Why is fire strong against air? Fire needs oxygen to survive, without it it will starve. Also, a strong wind can put out a fire.
    Well, I meant to type in water, sorry for that. And i'll add specifications to his powers and weaknesses soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by FalconX578 View Post
    So it's pretty much Azarel CS.777's Azarel H. Zayn + Hanif13's Arzon + Hyun's One + The blades that left Poseidon to die.

    I like it.

    Can't wait to have our friendly spar with this new guy, and I won't have to make a new plot since the two still share similar goals, that being the demon hunting aspect (unless I got that mixed up). Nice dude!
    Well, not really, because!
    One, i've had thus idea long ago when I was reading Tower of God. Two, when I wanted to create my WRHG, I wanted to make him a wind bender, but I remembered Arzon. So his is my "childhood" ideas all mashed together! This is my dream come true!

    And i'll add details to his abilities and weaknesses soon.

    PS: And Falcon, one more thing. He's not in to demons anymore. He's hunting Aubrey down. You'll see... you'll see....
    Last edited by Azarel CS.777; 09-20-2017 at 06:07 AM.
    Violet the Bladeslinger
    The Room of Warriors


    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

  7. #7
    Tough Love
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    Alright Azarel, I think it's time I sit down and give you a piece of my mind.

    Quote Originally Posted by better than me
    This looks actually really good.
    Really? Cause what you say after that doesn't really give me the impression that you think that.

    First things first, as I told Oster: If you have to ask whether your character is OP or not, they probably are. Though I think the term "overpowered" is misplaced here, as it is in many cases here in the WL. I'll have a whole rant about that soon enough, what it boils down to is that your character is simply uninteresting in every way. It's an anime power fantasy wankturd with nothing that makes him stand out or special or interesting in any way. Many come here with misguided expectations when it comes to writing: the written word does not lend itself well to visual spectacle. Having a character that is all powers and no story is wholly uninteresting to read.

    But alright, I am not here to verbally tear your character to shreds and insult you. It would get neither of us anywhere and it would be demeaning of the obvious effort you put in writing this out, though I would argue that you put effort into the wrong things (what he likes/dislikes, the fact that he has fangirlsm etc) and putting none where it matters. Neither am I here to give you a meaningful critique. Not only do I think it would be lost on you, I am quite frankly getting a bit tired of essentially copy pasting the same critique over and over again all the time. I'll be making two elaborate posts on the basics of writing and character creation, respectively. I suggest you go and check those out when they're done.

    So what am I here for, then? Well first of all to tell you that quantifying your character's attributes is bollocks. As I told Oster, your character's limits, powers and weaknesses are always relative to the circumstances they're in. Putting an absolute "7/10" on it is pointless because it's probably a five on average, and an eight at most. Perhaps you could argue that these stats represent your character at his strongest, but then they lose all meaning because we've no indication as to how strong your character is on average. You can't put a number on all three (weakest/average/strongest) either, because you can't ever know just how far you can push yourself. Suppose you kept lifting bigger and bigger weights to the point you dropped dead, then you would know just how far you can push yourself. Doesn't really help you though, since you're dead now.

    So what else can you use them for? Perhaps an estimation where your character lies on the power curve? Well that I'll debunk with the following. Suppose you had a biscuit, but his power is that he can destroy the entire universe instantly. He'd score a zero on every category because he's a fucking biscuit, except on powers where he'd get a ten. His total would then be 10/70, vastly below the power curve, but he's stronger than literally everything conceivable because he can obliterate the universe instantly. So there goes your estimate.

    Point is, putting numbers on your powers is dumb. They mean nothing, so don't do it.

    70% Japanese (Father), 30% Greek (Mother).
    I'm not sure whether you're just extremely sexist or extremely ignorant. This is not how nationality works. In fact, this isn't even nationality at all. Your nationality is the country you are currently a citizen of (in my case, Belgium). What you're talking about is ethnicity. My mother was half Portuguese, and my father was 100% Belgian, which makes me 75% Belgian and 25% Portuguese. There is literally no feasible way in which you can have 70/30% if we're only counting Azarel's parents. If his father is Japanese and his mother Greek, then he's 50% Japanese and 50% Greek. Unless for some reason you think his mother is worth less as a human being for whatever dumb reason, in which case I strongly suggest you fuck right off out of this Lounge.

    Might seem like I'm nitpicking here, but if YOU consider it important enough to mention, I consider it important enough to open my mouth on. Besides, it's details like this that show just how little thought and effort actually went into this character. You probably put in a lot of effort writing this all out but all of that is just one big waste of time, unless you take this as an opportunity to actually learn from your mistakes.

    One, i've had thus idea long ago when I was reading Tower of God. Two, when I wanted to create my WRHG, I wanted to make him a wind bender, but I remembered Arzon. So his is my "childhood" ideas all mashed together! This is my dream come true!
    I highly doubt that considering how trash this character is. Were this really your dream you'd have put more effort into it, otherwise, keep on dreaming. Besides, have you stopped to consider that perhaps what made your inspirations so interesting wasn't their powers, but their characters? Or that perhaps these powers wouldn't work as well if they were contrivedly mixed together with others that made no sense?

    Why, instead of just having two sections that tell us what he likes and doesn't like, don't you show us what he likes and dislikes through story? Have his fangirls show up, have him show his disdain for them. If you were to do that now, we'd already know he dislikes them, so his reaction would be entirely predictable and we'd be utterly bored reading it.

    Alright, enough of all that baby time nitpicking shit, let's address the elephant in the room: Why, in the name of all living fuck, would you make a character without a backstory or demo? Have you perhaps forgotten that the rules state these two as necessities? Actually, fuck all if I give a shit about those rules: Why do you expect me, or anyone else for that matter, to show the slightest bit of interest, give the slightest ounce of a fuck about your character, if you don't even give a shit yourself. This is such a fucking rushed mess, you just had an idea for a few powers, haphazardly threw them together, and called it finished. I called this character a power fantasy wankturd, and I'm not even wrong. This character is the written equivalent of jacking yourself off and having a premature ejaculation. Even supposing I'd want to watch you jerk yourself off in the first place, do you really think I'd appreciate the fact that you can't even put on half a decent fucking show? The answer to both is no, so why the fuck show me a clip of you jerking off??

    I'm too lazy to pull out my dartboard of cliche edgy backstory tropes and have a shot at what you could be cooking up. Instead, here's a backstory of Azarel for you:

    He's a hobo who lives on the street, blowing strangers for a living. He got this low cause when he was young his over-demanding parents spoiled him rich and he grew up thinking he owned the world. When his parents cut off his financial support he set out to prove to them that he could make it without their help, and he did for a short while. By accident he managed to kill a single demon lord and he became a one shot wonder for a few days. Then the world moved on but Azarel was desperate for more success, and blew his fortune on ill-conceived attempts at catching lightning in a bottle again. One day he stumbled across his old demon hunting gear (or whatever your character is supposed to be, I couldn't fucking know cause you don't fucking tell me) while rummaging through a dumpster looking for food. Now he has a chance at redemption, a shot at climbing out of this hole he's dug for himself. Will he succeed, or will he fall into the same traps that led to his fall? Will he desperately seek the approval of his parents, or realise they're demanding too much from him and let them go?

    There you go, you've now a character with a properly fleshed out backstory and a lot of potential for an interesting story arch. Not once did I mention his powers, because powers are only a means to an end. Powers can be used to accentuate or contrast his situation/character/surroundings/younameit. They're like special effects: You wouldn't write a story that is only explosions. Perhaps in a movie, a play, a game you can get away with it (hello Michael Bay), but not in a written piece. In a single paragraph I've conceived a character that's a hundred times more interesting than the drab you present me with here.

    Right, let's take a step back now. Now, I want you to know I've no problems with you personally. We're cool, and I'm glad to see some new faces around here again. It's just that your character is shit. I usually don't critique characters like yours because it's dumb to hold such characters up to my own standards when most people are just here to have some fun. However lately I've come to realise that, besides just being shit, many of these characters are just very, very boring. And I want folks to have fun. If you've an entertaining character, you're fighting an entertaining character and you've an entertaining battle for the audience, I don't give much of a shit how good it is. This character shares an issue with many others, however, in that he is very boring to read as an audience member, you've vastly more interesting characters to fight as a challenger, and frankly, you won't enjoy writing this character either.

    Of course, I'll assume that the people saying this looks nice disagree with me. Very well, they're entitled to their opinions just as much as I am, though I'm curious as to what you're seeing in this character that I am not. If you do agree, of course, then I would implore you to stop being dishonest, whether with yourself or with Azarel, or put some more thought into what you're saying. The backspace exists, use it when you have to. Again, not lashing out to anyone personally here, my wish is just to get rid of this circlejerk mentality. We can all sit here jerking each other off telling each other how good a job we're doing, or we can get off of our asses and get shit done. Your choice.

    I know what I want: I want Azarel (or anyone else for that matter) to have an entertaining character, so he in turn can write a battle I and others can enjoy, as opposed to one I have to drag myself through or ignore altogether. That's the only reason I go out of my way to write all of this shit, why I'm going out of my way to write those two pieces to elaborate on the principles of writing. I only want people to invest their time here meaningfully, as opposed to wasting it on masturbatory pieces of shit like this.
    Last edited by Vern; 09-20-2017 at 04:36 PM.

  8. #8
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Hey Vern? Can you do me a solid and stop going into details about masturbation and whatnot on minor's pages? There are different metaphors and similes, you know. And also, for that matter, can you make it less of a habit to outright call things shit? We're on a stick animation website. Traffic is going to primarily be young. Young people tend to lean towards overpowered characters. You don't have to fight them. You can disagree with them. But don't act like someone's a stupid fucker for still being in their adolescence, I'm starting to get sick of you attacking things, and I mean attacking them. I'm sick of losing new people who are excited to write because someone takes a hammer to their hobbies. If you have something to say back, PM it. No need to blow up a thread.
    Last edited by Crank; 09-20-2017 at 06:15 PM.

  9. #9
    Tough Love
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crank View Post
    Hey Vern? Can you do me a solid and stop going into details about masturbation and whatnot on minor's pages? There are different metaphors and similes, you know.
    Last I checked folks here aren't babies, they can handle something. I'm not particularly high on censoring myself either.

    However, I can see how it might be distasteful, and I'm not keen on being an asshole either, so if you insist I'll keep an eye out not to bring stuff like this up again.

  10. #10
    Tough Love
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    Double post 'cause of Crank's ninja edit,

    And also, for that matter, can you make it less of a habit to outright call things shit?
    I'm a very direct person, most folk who've known me for a while know that. I just call things shit outright because I don't want to set people off on the wrong foot. If you're talking about the blatant way in which I do it, I mean no ill when I call something shit. I call everything shit. Of course, if you don't know me you might not know that, in which case: Hey, nice to meet ya.

    For better or worse, such profanity is simply part of my vocabulary.

    We're on a stick animation website. Traffic is going to primarily be young. Young people tend to lean towards overpowered characters.
    Does that exempt them from criticism? I was such a youngster too at one point, I've been there too. I learned and improved because of people going out of their way to tell me what was flawed, what they found lacking. Of course, not all of that was always in friendly spirits.

    They're writing for fun, they're not taking it seriously, I'm not supposed to hold them up to my standards. I know. Still, I firmly believe just about everyone would benefit if we set the bar for the entry level just a bit higher.

    Though you are likely talking about me addressing them in the way I do. I've no way to know who's old enough to warrant skin thick enough to bear through my confronting way of putting things. Perhaps I do sometimes overestimate the resilience of who I'm talking to, and I lose sight of the audience this site attracts.

    You don't have to fight them. You can disagree with them.
    Which is what I am doing.

    But don't act like someone's a stupid fucker for still being in their adolescence
    I've explicitly stated I haven't an issue with Azarel personally, I only think his character is "shit". I've never said nor implied that people were stupid fuckers for being in their adolescence. I've only had issues with their work, and in other cases, their tone. There are comments I've made, such as the one with Piston (for those who remember) where I wasn't considerate, and I do regret saying those things when I did. But I've never acted like someone was a stupid fucker for being in their adolescence.

    I'm starting to get sick of you attacking things, and I mean attacking them.
    I'm being open, direct and confronting. Often harshly, yes, but I'm not attacking them. If I were (hearken back to Piston again), you would know. I am sorry if it seems that way.

    I'm sick of losing new people who are excited to write because someone takes a hammer to their hobbies.
    My comments have nothing to do with people leaving the site. Don't pin the blame on me for this. If people leave because of something I said, they were going to leave anyways. My words can be demotivating, they're confronting. The people in question, however, tend to bounce back sooner or later if they left at all. If they like this hobby they'll come back, and if they didn't I just saved them from wasting their time.

    If we're talking about GenericAnon specifically here, I will not say I consider myself in the wrong there. Do not kid yourself by thinking an attitude like his would have survived long in this Lounge anyways. If it weren't me who spoke up first, it would have been someone else.

    If you have something to say back, PM it. No need to blow up a thread.
    My comment on this thread is not blowing it up, it is adding to it because I am pointing out grievances I have with Azarel's character, and nothing more. I like my critiques and comments as an open source for people to read and react to. I know there's a fair bit of people out there who read what I have to say and can appreciate it regardless of the tone. It's a public space after all. Had I PM'd this instead of posting it, I could've never gotten your input on my tone. As I said before, I do not consider my comment an attack, and I think it is building off of to the original content of the thread hence it is a public post. Had it been a personal issue, I would have (or at least should have) PM'd Azarel, but it is not.

    Since you pointed this out to me in public, I feel the need to defend myself in public as well. If you've anything else to say I do suggest we do as you said and take this to PM. I value your input, though in this case I'm gonna live up to my shit and say that this is just sorta who I am. You're right when you say I should be just a bit more mindful of the age of the people I'm talking to, though I can't make any promises. As I said, I'm not keen on being an asshole, nor is it my intention, but I'm not someone to perpetrate an illusion either. I keep people with both feet on the ground, and of course that won't always be taken kindly.

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