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Thread: Delinker, the dimension guardian

  1. #1
    Member Natsura97215's Avatar
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    Delinker, the dimension guardian

    Profile
    Name: Delinker
    Surname: ?
    Nickname: Guardian of dimensions
    Age: 27
    Color: light grey (eyes's color: yellow)
    Picture:

    Abilities
    *Teleportation
    *Link:
    -A-link: An offensive link placed on an ennemy. The size increase when Delinker hit it. When the link broke, it explodes.
    -D-link: A defensive link placed on Delinker. It reflects damages reduced by 2 to the ennemy who hurts Delinker.
    -S-link: A passive link placed on a surface or in the air. It increases Delinker's speed and reduces ennemies's speed.
    -2-link: A link with Delinker's appearance. 1 HP. Can be switch into a A-link.
    *Solind links: Links use by Delinker like stairs. Can be switch into S-link.
    *Night vision
    *Black katana: Delinker can turn his shadow into a katana.
    Spoiler for Black katana: moves:


    Weaknesses
    -Time limit: D-link and S-link can be used for 10 sec max or it will use a lot of his stamina.
    -Girls:He will about Mako and its make confused.
    -Links limit: only one D-link and one S-link in the same time (doesn't affect A-links and solid links) or it will hurt him a lot.
    -His vision: If you can make blind he will lose a part of his power.
    -Mira no Kage: Predictable. It always return where it appear.
    -Kaizen: Use a lot of energy.

    Guardian form
    Only use in a fight when he want (rarely, extremely rarely)
    Color: red (eye's color: black)
    Appearance: Have a green dragon helmet.
    Picture: (yes an awful hand made picture but I was lazy)
    Abilities:
    -DOR: A dimension traveller who looks like a door.
    -Barrer: Green barrer of glass with sharp edge.
    -Blaster: Gaster blaster like weapon who looks like a dragon head.
    -Link+: Ameliorate link:
    _A-link+: When it placed on an ennemy it makes some damages during 5 sec.
    _D-link+: Delinker's defence grows up.
    _S-link+: Makes little damages on ennemies.
    _2-link+: Now, clones have 10HP.
    _Solid link+: Vanished when a person touch it (use like a trap).
    Weaknesses:
    -No teleportation
    -Links+ use more energy than a normal link.

    Story
    Origins
    When he was young, Delinker had nothing except his only friend: Mako.
    She was all for him until this day. Mako had a boyfriend: Crawl, but Delinker knew he wasn't good at all.
    Crawl only want one thing: Delinker's death cuz he was jealous of him for an unknow reason.
    So Crawl decide to kill Mako, after all she was nothig for him but all for Delinker. When Delinker discovered that, he started to act strangely with a sadic and insane ambition: found Crawl, torture him and kill him.
    Delinker started to get informations and one day, he heard a voice, no THE VOICE which one said:
    "I like you're ambition, but I think you need some help..."
    And Delinker fell asleep... When he woke up he discovered some cool powers called "links" and an helmet with a dragon appearance.
    He wears it and he felt a great sensation of power and he saw his skin turned into a red color.
    And in front of him he saw a door, "It's a Dimension Open Ride, a D.O.R." then Delinker opened it and........
    A monster appear and he was.....blocked ?
    A green barrer of glass with sharp edge blocked him !
    So Delinker try to use a link but a gaster blaster like weapon with a dragon style was here so Delinker blast the monster, close and go to eat a hamburger.
    He join the RHG tournament cuz he found an invitation in the hamburger.

    Personnality/Particularity

    Sadic and insane if you have informations about Crawl.
    Loves hamburgers
    His eyes are brighter when he his angry

    Demo
    Bad demo cuz I rushed it when I was learning Flash 8 tuto
    https://youtu.be/A60tZN_HjHY

    Stats
    Normal
    Defence: 6/10
    Strenght: 4/10
    Agility: 8/10
    Speed: 7/10
    Intelligence: 9/10

    Guardian
    Defence: 8/10
    Stranght: 6/10
    Agility: 6/10
    Speed: 6/10
    Intelligence: 10/10

    Availability
    NOPE: I'm making my clan tryout for Toxigen

    Hitlist
    Xal and Mr.Fluffykins
    Shadowrose
    Dodger
    Coldtask
    Burst
    Oxob
    Garo
    Last edited by Natsura97215; 11-12-2017 at 08:24 AM. Reason: Reminding of the abilities and of the weaknesses

  2. #2
    The Stickpage Ghost PitchEnder's Avatar
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    PitchEnder is back with another RHG review. You have been chosen. Whether or not you care is up to you.

    As per the usual, I will start from the top and make my way down (no pause)

    Quote Originally Posted by Basics
    Profile
    Name: Delinker
    Surname: ?
    Nickname: Guardian of dimensions
    Age: 27
    Color: light grey (eyes's color: yellow)
    Alright, let me just say that Delinker is an odd name. I won't say that's a bad thing since the RHG is home to some people with ridiculous names (I'n looking at you FFLFLFLFFLFLLFL) But, the whole "Guardian of Dimensions" thing is scaring me. We will have to see where that goes in the future. The last thing I'm going to do is talk about the surname. Here's a tip: Do not add a category if it isn't going to have information. Unless your character's surname is literally "Question Mark" there is no need to have this on here. It's just a waste of space.

    Quote Originally Posted by Abilities
    Abilities (Oh lord, here we go.)

    Teleportation
    Link:
    -A-link: An offensive link placed on an ennemy. The size increase when Delinker hit it. When the link broke, it explodes.
    -D-link: A defensive link placed on Delinker. It reflects damages reduced by 2 to the ennemy who hurts Delinker.
    -S-link: A passive link placed on a surface or in the air. It increases Delinker's speed and reduces ennemies's speed.
    Solind links: Links use by Delinker like stairs. Can be switch into a S-link.
    Anti-illusion: Break illusion with his eyes.
    I'm going to seperate the abilities here since the rest of them are considered "locked" (I don't understand why you would even add the locked abilities to the page right now since they are ... you know.... locked.) It took me a few moments to realize that it was "Teleportation" and not "Teleportation Link"... You might want to separate them more. As for the links, he basically just has MOBA abilities. I mean, it's a pretty cool idea. I can imagine some neat animation where Delinker is running on glyphs through the sky before falling through one, gaining enough speed to zoom up to his opponent. But, the quality of your animation greatly works against the creativity of this ability... I suggest you use less complex abilities.

    Also, get rid of the Sharingan, man.

    Quote Originally Posted by Weaknesses
    Weaknesses
    -Time limit: D-link and S-link can be used for 10 sec max.
    -Human condition
    -Links limit: only one D-link and one S-link in the same time (doesn't affect A-links and solid links)
    1. Being human isn't a good weakness. Why? Because it's too fucking broad. Most of the time, people use this as a way to say "he can be killed like any normal person!" Congrats, your character isn't immortal. Here's a medal:



    2. Why would it matter if the links only last 10 second? This guy can just create more. Does he have a limit for how many links he can create at a time?

    3. It doesn't matter if he can't use more than one D or S link... because their purpose is to buff and debuff people. I think only one is needed for that.

    Basically, he has no actual weaknesses at the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by God Damn It Another Super Form
    Guardian form
    Only use in a fight when he want (rarely, extremely rarely)
    Color: red (eye's color: black)
    Appearance: Have a green dragon helmet.
    Picture: (yes an awful hand made picture but I was lazy)
    Abilities:
    -DOR: A dimension traveller who looks like a door.
    -Barrer: Green barrer of glass with sharp edge.
    -Blaster: Gaster blaster like weapon who looks like a dragon head.
    Weaknesses:
    -No teleportation
    -Only A-links and Solid links
    If you couldn't tell, I don't really like super forms. They are always used to be like "Oh shit I'm losing! Time to activate my SUPER ULTRA COOL FORM." You could get rid of these and unlock some of those other links, which would make this character a bit better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Story
    Story
    Origins
    When he was young, Delinker had nothing except his only friend: Mako.
    She was all for him until this day. Mako had a boyfriend: Crawl, but Delinker knew he wasn't good at all.
    Crawl only want one thing: Delinker's death cuz he was jealous of him for an unknow reason.
    So Crawl decide to kill Mako, after all she was nothig for him but all for Delinker. When Delinker discovered that, he started to act strangely with a sadic and insane ambition: found Crawl, torture him and kill him.
    Delinker started to get informations and one day, he heard a voice, no THE VOICE which one said:
    "I like you're ambition, but I think you need some help..."
    And Delinker fell asleep... When he woke up he discovered some cool powers called "links" and an helmet with a dragon appearance.
    He wears it and he felt a great sensation of power and he saw his skin turned into a red color.
    And in front of him he saw a door, "It's a Dimension Open Ride, a D.O.R." then Delinker opened it and........
    A monster appear and he was.....blocked ?
    A green barrer of glass with sharp edge blocked him !
    So Delinker try to use a link but a gaster blaster like weapon with a dragon style was here so Delinker blast the monster, close and go to eat a hamburger.
    He join the RHG tournament cuz he found an invitation in the hamburger.
    Most of this story: Not Creative

    The ending of this story: Dumb

    My only advice is to redo the entire thing... especially the part where he finds an invitation in a fucking hamburger. So, let's move on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Personality
    Personnality/Particularity
    Sadic and insane
    Loves hamburgers
    His eyes are brighter when he his angry
    This burger thing is stupid as hell. Seriously, I legitimately hate it.

    Also, Sadistic and Insane? Yep, those are qualities I would look for in the supposed "Guardian of Dimensions".

    And last, but least, the stats. Stats are pretty dumb. Like I said before, humans and numbers don't mix in this way. A person's "stats" will change depending on what situation they are in. So, having a list of concrete numbers doesn't do much of anything.

    Let me give you a synopsis

    There's a lot wrong with this character and I mean a lot. My advice is to take a step back and think real hard about making a new character since this one is both too complex for you to animate and too uninteresting to get people... interested.

    Love,
    PitchEnder

    WRHG: Fell

    Availability:
    Full

    Character will be changed after I'm finished with my next two battles.

    I'm a skeleton IRL.


    Spoiler for Gif Of My Mascot:

    Spoiler for Personal Stuff:


  3. #3
    Member Natsura97215's Avatar
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    Ok man I understand you but I dont want to remake another RHG, I will just edit it cuz I already change Jumper about the animation s difficulty.
    I will use your post to ameliorate my rhg thread.
    And sorry if you think about the sharingan I wasn t thinking about this with the eyes.
    And I ll dont change the personnality cuz a new demo will be realized on flash 8 with his backstory.

  4. #4
    A Stick Empires Player AsePlayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natsura97215 View Post
    Ok man I understand you but I dont want to remake another RHG, I will just edit it cuz I already change Jumper about the animation s difficulty.
    If you aren't willing to redo stuff animation might be an issue for you. It could take hours to nail some scenes juuuust right.
    Quote Originally Posted by sss
    You are the cancer of stickpage you fucking fuckity fuck fuck
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    By the time the new update comes out DAZ would've gone through puberty. Lel
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    Also Fuck EvE. That's not a matchup. That's a rock-paper-I-don't-give-a-fuck.

  5. #5
    Member Natsura97215's Avatar
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    It was my idea plus some edit it could be better.

  6. #6
    The Stickpage Ghost PitchEnder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natsura97215 View Post
    It was my idea plus some edit it could be better.
    Everything you make on here is, hopefully, your idea. That doesn't mean you can't make another idea. It's just going to be difficult to get better at animation when you're too focused on all of this crazy stuff. So, it would be better for you if you made a simpler character and saved this one for later.

    WRHG: Fell

    Availability:
    Full

    Character will be changed after I'm finished with my next two battles.

    I'm a skeleton IRL.


    Spoiler for Gif Of My Mascot:

    Spoiler for Personal Stuff:


  7. #7
    Member Natsura97215's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PitchEnder View Post
    Everything you make on here is, hopefully, your idea. That doesn't mean you can't make another idea. It's just going to be difficult to get better at animation when you're too focused on all of this crazy stuff. So, it would be better for you if you made a simpler character and saved this one for later.
    I understand you but I will use him like a training.

  8. #8
    Heir of mediocrity Xyskal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natsura97215 View Post
    I understand you but I will use him like a training.
    What Pitch has been saying is that it would be better to use a simpler character for your “training” than the one you have now.


    Spoiler for my favorite quote on this entire website.:





    Spoiler for support:

  9. #9
    Member Natsura97215's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xyskal View Post
    What Pitch has been saying is that it would be better to use a simpler character for your “training” than the one you have now.
    I know but I've a problem: when I make character I make simple but it the end he have a lot of abilities or moves and he finished like the others... And I don't want to make another rhg thtead with another "unfinished" rhg.

  10. #10
    The Stickpage Ghost PitchEnder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natsura97215 View Post
    I know but I've a problem: when I make character I make simple but it the end he have a lot of abilities or moves and he finished like the others... And I don't want to make another rhg thtead with another "unfinished" rhg.
    There's your problem: The moment you give a simple character a bunch of abilties it no longer is simple. You just need to not add a bunch of abilities. Control yourself

    WRHG: Fell

    Availability:
    Full

    Character will be changed after I'm finished with my next two battles.

    I'm a skeleton IRL.


    Spoiler for Gif Of My Mascot:

    Spoiler for Personal Stuff:


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