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Thread: Gi is for Gift [A Secret Santa Submission]

  1. #1
    No ordinary girl... Cassandra's Avatar
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    Gi is for Gift [A Secret Santa Submission]

    This document was my part for 2017's Secret Santa event. My Secret Santa, Matthew Nielson, and his friend Eli, have been given the daunting task of selecting a gift for their special someone. Unfortunately the whole RP thing didn't work out, so my work retreated into the dustiest corner of my computer and proceeded to lie there for the rest of its life. Until now.

    Minor warning...the document spoils who Matthew's gift receiver is.

    This version has undergone multiple revisions and edits and is now ready for the forum. CNC is appreciated.

    Spoiler for Story:

    Need Help With Your wRHG? Send me a Private Message and I'll see what I can do!

    "A successful writer is one that can fully immerse readers within their world."

    Any and all of my wRHGs have left this site. They will return when (and if) the forum returns to life.

  2. #2
    I like chocolate :D SJCRPV's Avatar
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    The story was sweet. Although not quite, it make think of this
    Spoiler for Image is a bit big for the post:

    Similar dynamic.
    I love it XD

    It was interesting to see an inventor with such an unusual way of being. Matthew was far more open, candid and upfront than you normally have with these types of characters. It was nice to see

    Just a few notes. I'll skip of things I've already discussed with you with other pieces, but here are a few, mostly just logical things:

    Quote Originally Posted by Worried inventor
    The last thing he wanted was someone walking over here and seeing him on a chair.
    Why? What's wrong with that? .-.

    Quote Originally Posted by Didn't think this through
    Back at the hotel, Matthew and Eli stood in the bedroom, their gift laid out on the bed in front of them. Matthew folded his arms and cocked his head to the side, looking over at Eli.

    “I don’t know…” he began. “…it looks a little too ordinary to me. What do you think?”

    Eli continued to stare at the gi for a while, and then slowly faced Matthew.

    “Nnnngh…” he said.

    The inventor shrugged returned his gaze to the gi. He stroked the starry fabric, deep in thought.

    “It needs something special…something…useful…” he murmured.
    You'd think one would have thought this far in before deciding to buy the thing XD
    But can you chalk this up to him just being this way, or was it an oversight?

    Quote Originally Posted by An even funnier show
    “Me too. I’ll switch to Fox News.”
    Wasn't he going to watch "Justice"?

    Quote Originally Posted by ???
    Due to the Kevlar, this gi is highly resilient and somehow lighter than it was originally.
    This does not sound in any way possible XD
    How is regular kevlar lighter than common, likely polyester, fabric? And no, science isn't magic! >:C

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