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Thread: 2038(An original novel by GreekGladiator)

  1. #1
    Keyboard smasher GreekGladiator's Avatar
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    2038(An original novel by GreekGladiator)

    So a while ago I told Devour to take down the old thread with my previous work because I wanted to scrap it and start fresh again. Now that the idea was finally settled into my head and I have created a basic world for the story here it is:

    The beginning

    Chapter I

    Chapter II

    Of course this is not by any means the final form of it and it is most definately subject to change(especially the prologue). Any suggestions or advice is really welcome and appreciated(and CnC).

    Here I also have a sort of 'table' where I have written some basic things about anything involved in the story. It is not complete either and will probably grow as the story progresses.

    Table of Contents

    Comments are allowed on every document and if they aren't, please let me know.

    EDIT: I hope I will be able to change the title if I change my mind.
    Last edited by GreekGladiator; 04-24-2018 at 01:13 PM.
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    Spoiler for Truth:

  2. #2
    No ordinary girl... Cassandra's Avatar
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    The story seems interesting so far. I can see a number of inconsistencies in your first chapter though. Would you like me to give you some suggestions on how to fix some of them?

    Quote Originally Posted by GreekGladiator
    There will be infrequencies and burst of inspirations(not that anyone cares).
    I know exactly how that feels

    If you stick to this, I'm sure it'll turn out great. One of my biggest issues is dedication. I could be completely into one character, and then as soon as I make another one, I want to dedicate myself to that one too etc. etc. XD

    Good luck!

    Need Help With Your wRHG? Send me a Private Message and I'll see what I can do!

    "A successful writer is one that can fully immerse readers within their world."

    Any and all of my wRHGs have left this site. They will return when (and if) the forum returns to life.

  3. #3
    Keyboard smasher GreekGladiator's Avatar
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    As I stated above, any commentary and suggestion are welcomed and endorsed. The inconsistencies probably exist because I wrote half of the chapter, like, at the start of February and the rest of it yesterday .

    Also I have basically given up on wRHG completely because I want to focus on this specifically. Maybe if there's an event I might participate, just for a change, but anything besides that... meh. Thanks for the help!

    EDIT:Oh shit, now I remembered that you can comment on the chapters directly so do it there ok?(caps will be changed within 23,42 hours)
    Last edited by GreekGladiator; 03-08-2018 at 12:49 PM.
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  4. #4
    No ordinary girl... Cassandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by An Inconsistency
    23,42 hours
    Thank you for the clarification.

    I'll just pick out a couple spots; just to give other helpers a chance to see things too.

    Need Help With Your wRHG? Send me a Private Message and I'll see what I can do!

    "A successful writer is one that can fully immerse readers within their world."

    Any and all of my wRHGs have left this site. They will return when (and if) the forum returns to life.

  5. #5
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    It looks like The Beginning and Chapter 1 are the same link. Is there just the one at the moment, or is there supposed to be another?

  6. #6
    Keyboard smasher GreekGladiator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crank View Post
    It looks like The Beginning and Chapter 1 are the same link. Is there just the one at the moment, or is there supposed to be another?
    ...My bad then. I must have messed it up with the copy-paste and the same link twice... Fixing it right away!

    EDIT: A mojor addition is to be expected in the Table of Contents in the following week(or weekend). Stay tuned!

    EDIT2: I am noticing I am using too much this edit thingy so I might cut it for now...(I understand how ironic it is for to say such thing on an edit, yeah...)
    Last edited by GreekGladiator; 03-08-2018 at 12:51 PM.
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  7. #7
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Alright, here goes!

    Spoiler for 'Oh crap' moments:


    Spoiler for What is common knowledge in the world?:


    Spoiler for Dialogue chunks:


    A good start though! Lookin' forward to what's to come!
    Last edited by Crank; 03-08-2018 at 02:42 PM.

  8. #8
    Keyboard smasher GreekGladiator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crank View Post
    Spoiler for Crank's CnC:
    First of all thanks for the CnC! It is really appreciated and I hope it will help me get better.

    Now... I know that my biggest weakness when it comes to writing is describing an image I got in my head, onto the paper(screen?). Also for about the same reason I created the table of contents. I want this to help people understand what is going on and who is who better; but at the same time I want it to not spoil the climax. I found out it is quite tricky to maintain the balance and I'll on it for sure.

    As for what happening with Munich's Resistance and what it is, wait for the next chapter or too and you'll see The first chapter will be heavily plot-driven so to establish what is going on and what goes where, so I'm not just throwing words at you with no meaning or cohesion.

    PS: My inability to describe is very well shown in how you perceived the table to be. I clearly didn't give enough information so you can understand it is a like a table version of the electric chair(without the lethal parts, just the things that hold you in place).
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  9. #9
    Keyboard smasher GreekGladiator's Avatar
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    WAT UP MY NIG--

    OK I am not doing this. Just wanted to push the thread so people are notified of the new chapter. Sorry for double post, but come on. Come on. It had been more than a month. Come on. Come on.

    The Table of Contents will also be updated as new things are revealed in the story. A timeline has been added but is still pretty much 5% done. It will be probably be done between this and the next chapter(no I won't time travel to do it before this chapter).

    On a sidenote, the 'I' on my keyboard doesn't work if I don't smash it with a force of 6482N. So there's that too I guess. And please tell me if editing the original post pushes the thread to show t wth blue letters(my words fail time to go to sleep).

    EDIT: Holy shit this sub-thread has died in the last week. Come on guys, I know I am a hypocrite for saying this, but start reading!
    Last edited by GreekGladiator; 04-20-2018 at 07:36 AM.
    My wRHG: The Elementalist Not active

    Check out my story on OLit: Unnamed garbage
    Spoiler for Truth:

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