Alright, here we go!
So, at the top, you open with a bit of an inner monologue from Elise listing off what's wrong. If possible, try avoiding making it a straight forward statement. After I found my stolen car (within 20 minutes of finding out it was gone) a few years ago, I showed my friend that the key no longer functioned, and that I had to turn something behind the steering wheel with a knife. I then closed the locked door with the key still in the ignition, attached to my house keys. My first thought wasn't "Alright, my keys are still in the car, I'm going to have to call someone to pop the door open." My first thought was "MOTHERFUCKER!" The thing about thoughts is that they don't have that great a filter, and often times they're more impulsive and raw. Elise knows all the information, but all that's shown is the surface of the issue. When something goes wrong, how do you react? What flies though your head? That said, I'm not saying "More swearing!" Just, more of what the facts mean to the characters, aside from their definitions.
Similar with situations where your mind says "This is bad," if your gut tells you "This is weird," that should be delved into as well. I once randomly ran into a friend at a gas station, and I still had denial over it, even though I was in his neck of the woods, and his car, like mine, needs gas to function. When A004 runs into himself, even if he don't know where he is or what the other he is, what's he guessing? It's really got to trip up his sense of reality, go ahead and take a minute to show him feebly try to process it.
Lastly, this chapter has a bit of an issue with urgency. Other A004 says that A004 is dying, says they don't have much time, says the shadows are going to engulf them and he's only able to keep they at bay though sheer will, but then goes on to talk for a while. Kinda feels like a video game main story. Dragons are back in Skyrim, laying waste to the lands and trying to enslave all mortals once more, but I'm gonna get wasted with this Deadric Prince and adopt a couple kids first. The more urgent a situation is, the more imperative it is to do the thing immediately, so the longer it's put off, the less important the situation seems. You can have the most dangerous threat in the world, but if it's not important to the character, it's hard for your reader to invest in. Also, if possible, try avoid dishing out exposition is such heavy servings, and it tends to go down easier when its organically harvested, if that makes sense.