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Thread: Umbra Mortis, the Shadow of Death

  1. #1
    The One and Only
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    Umbra Mortis, the Shadow of Death

    “It is only through the shadows that one comes to know the light.”

    Umbra Mortis, the Shadow of Death




    Abilities

    Tenebris
    Spoiler for Darkness:


    Ignis Fatuus
    Spoiler for Will-O'-The-Wisp:


    Aevitas
    Spoiler for Immortality:


    Iter per Scissio
    Spoiler for Journey through the Rift:


    Weaknesses

    Tenebris
    Spoiler for Darkness:


    Ignis Fatuus
    Spoiler for Will-O'-the-Wisp:


    Aevitas
    Spoiler for Immortality:


    Umbra Mortis
    Spoiler for The Shadow of Death:


    Personality

    Spoiler for Persona:


    Appearance
    Spoiler for Physical Appearance:


    Spoiler for In Combat:


    Spoiler for Out of Combat:


    Story
    Spoiler for Historia:


    Demo
    Spoiler for Demonstratio:


    Battle History

    Umbra
    Spoiler for The Shadow of Death:


    Zackeroar


    Battle Record

    1/2/1


    Former Gladiators

    Zackeroar, Wrath's Incarnate
    Spoiler for 2013-2017:
    Last edited by XDHunterNest; 09-08-2017 at 01:17 PM. Reason: New character!

  2. #2
    That annoying little * Wyrmspawn's Avatar
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    Bad idea to double post; they might ban you. Other than that, this seems like a fine gladiator.

  3. #3
    Bringin' it back! blakphoenix's Avatar
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    I notice that you often state when he goes into "wrath mode", it would be better if you simply described the transformation. "His hair faded into a gray scale, the whites of his eyes flooded with rivers of blood..." etc. That wasn't a great example, but it was one nonetheless. Also, if you could more clearly state what weapons he uses that'd make things much easier. Other than that, this page checks out and I feel you will benefit quite a bit from the community here.

    Also, how pronounce his name?! Lol! Is it (Zacky-roar) (Zack-er-oar)? I am so lost on that!
    Last edited by blakphoenix; 08-30-2013 at 02:16 PM.
    Ensiron "Zero" Ethereal

    You are only made limitless by your imagination, making the impossible possible since 1776.

    Spoiler for what I contribute:

    Spoiler for past sig gifs:

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by blakphoenix View Post
    I notice that you often state when he goes into "wrath mode", it would be better if you simply described the transformation. "His hair faded into a gray scale, the whites of his eyes flooded with rivers of blood..." etc. That wasn't a great example, but it was one nonetheless. Also, if you could more clearly state what weapons he uses that'd make things much easier. Other than that, this page checks out and I feel you will benefit quite a bit from the community here.

    Also, how pronounce his name?! Lol! Is it (Zacky-roar) (Zack-er-oar)? I am so lost on that!
    No official pronunciation, actually :P. I'm new to this thing so thanks for the tips Although I've been writing stories for extra credit for two years, I feel that I am not as good as the guys here. I appreciate the advice. Thanks again!

    Quote Originally Posted by Wyrmspawn View Post
    Bad idea to double post; they might ban you. Other than that, this seems like a fine gladiator.
    Whoops sorry. I didn't know.
    Last edited by XDHunterNest; 08-30-2013 at 05:33 PM.
    My wRHG: Umbra Mortis

    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Made by the awesome Mantha :3

  5. #5
    The One and Only
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    Updated availability and edited back story and demo.
    My wRHG: Umbra Mortis

    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Made by the awesome Mantha :3

  6. #6
    The One and Only
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    The thread is undergoing a whole look upgrade.
    My wRHG: Umbra Mortis

    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Made by the awesome Mantha :3

  7. #7
    The One and Only
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    Changed the demo and availability.
    My wRHG: Umbra Mortis

    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Made by the awesome Mantha :3

  8. #8
    The One and Only
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    After 4 years, I've finally got a new guy! His demo and story are going to be edited later in the day. I just felt like I wanted to have him up now and just add in his backstory and demo later. Feel free to critique!
    My wRHG: Umbra Mortis

    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Made by the awesome Mantha :3

  9. #9
    Blending City ErrorBlender's Avatar
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    So you gave your character two ways of travel, the shadow orb and the rips in space through tenebris. Even split under three minutes, a battle takes considerably less and most of the time, you wont expend the entire three minutes anyway. Speed of light is big deal in combat, if you can reposition yourself that fast, its near omnipresence. You could dodge, then reappear at the back of the opponent before a millisecond passes and stab tenebris right through, or if you keep the momentum, slap him with it alongside its infinite mass.

    I'd get the protection part, sure ok, you hid yourself in the shadow dimension and all forms of light could rip you our of it but how much really? You never say. Anyway, at this point, I would understand the three minute limit since its full protect but with light speed, its more offensive than defensive tbh.

    I propose you ditch the lightspeed thing since you already have a different means to travel. Thats my thoughts.

    The rest is fine for me



    Spoiler for :

  10. #10
    The One and Only
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    Quote Originally Posted by ErrorBlender View Post
    So you gave your character two ways of travel, the shadow orb and the rips in space through tenebris. Even split under three minutes, a battle takes considerably less and most of the time, you wont expend the entire three minutes anyway. Speed of light is big deal in combat, if you can reposition yourself that fast, its near omnipresence. You could dodge, then reappear at the back of the opponent before a millisecond passes and stab tenebris right through, or if you keep the momentum, slap him with it alongside its infinite mass.

    I'd get the protection part, sure ok, you hid yourself in the shadow dimension and all forms of light could rip you our of it but how much really? You never say. Anyway, at this point, I would understand the three minute limit since its full protect but with light speed, its more offensive than defensive tbh.

    I propose you ditch the lightspeed thing since you already have a different means to travel. Thats my thoughts.

    The rest is fine for me
    I was actually planning to have Iter per Scissio be a non-combat ability xD. I was going to make Umbra only use it solely for transportation and not for battle. I should've stressed that more, my bad.

    Regarding Ignis Fatuus, I see your points. I'm going to adjust the ability so it wouldn't be that overpowered.

    Thanks for your feedback!
    My wRHG: Umbra Mortis

    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    Made by the awesome Mantha :3

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