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Thread: Friday Funk #2: Fallen Kingdom

  1. #1
    The Cutest Latios acutelatios's Avatar
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    Friday Funk #2: Fallen Kingdom

    Hiya guys, sorry for the late installment of the Friday Funk~! I've no excuse not to have posted this last week, besides recuperating from sunburns and camp but let's keep this thing going from now on shall we~?

    Also if you have no idea of what the Friday Funk is then simply it's a sort of weekly, or biweekly (it depends really) event that gives you an activity to accomplish until the next or next, next Friday or whenever the next Friday Funk thread is posted. Just to help you along the road to be a better writer or keep your writing skills nice and sharp when you're not busy writing anything. The activity could be a single word, a phrase, a theme or an established setting, and you must write it, finish it and post it here. Though if you haven't finished it until then, you're more than welcome to still submit it here.

    Comments and Criticism is also encouraged since as a community it's our job to support and give some feedback to one another. It doesn't matter if you're just lurking, not participating or passing by, all opinions are welcomed here. As long as you're respectful and well-mannered of course~

    Anyways on to the activity this Friday~

    Spoiler for Fallen Kingdom:


    This story will be due on the 31st of January, however you if the next FF thread hasn't been posted then you still have time. Remember when posting your story here that you make sure to place it in a spoiler to avoid big posts.

    Merry writing everyone~! Oh and anyone would like to submit a subject for the FFs then you're more than welcome to send them to me via Private Message~

    o w o
    Last edited by acutelatios; 06-26-2016 at 08:29 AM.


  2. #2
    Waterworked GuardianTempest's Avatar
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    Sorry for not participating last week's FF, I couldn't think of anything for the theme but for this one I'm sure I have something.

    Count me in.
    v (not my thing but please read) v

    Flash CS6 || R.I.P. Fileize - "I didn't get to steal from pros" || Works slowly due to IRL Problems
    RHG: 親愛な雨 - Shinnai na Ame
    Daydreams and Concepts (Last Major Update: 11/09/13)

  3. #3
    Blending City ErrorBlender's Avatar
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    I'm joining in the festivities.



    Spoiler for :

  4. #4
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    Spoiler for The Hard Truth:

  5. #5
    The Cutest Latios acutelatios's Avatar
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    Short but sweet, this is a wonderful piece that I enjoyed, which isn't a surprise since I always love your stories haha~

    The story started with a great hook. It built up the gloomy and solemn setting to it as the character's kingdom was falling to the Madness. I liked the feelings and thoughts of pain, hopelessness and guilt as we walked with the king when we went along with story, how his hopes for the future was crushed by the war when you gave a little backstory for the unfortunate downfall.

    However~just somethings that I wanted to mention were that there were some sentences in the story that were worded weirdly. The first one that I encountered was:
    Quote Originally Posted by Cranky
    The textured bubbles were cool to the touch from the wine’s chill, but the golden handle was almost frighteningly so
    For me that sort of pulled me away from the tale 'cause I had trouble in visualizing it. I don't really know where the golden handle came from since a wine glass in usually just made of well...glass, but I just rolled with it and thought that it was gilded or something. Still it bothered me for a bit haha~There were others as well, like his statement of their faith on him being misplaced, which also took me out for a bit to realize that he was talking about it. Though it's all pretty minor, a read and think over will be enough.

    Overall it was an entertaining read that I really enjoyed~
    Thanks for sharing bro~
    o w o


  6. #6
    Skull Enforcer Azure's Avatar
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    Spoiler for A bit of insight before you read:

    Spoiler for Fall of Luxmort:

    Spoiler for What I've Obtained:

  7. #7
    I like chocolate :D SJCRPV's Avatar
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    I played way too much Europa Universalis to not have inspiration for this : P

    Just a couple of notes:
    Imagine the New World as it is in real life.
    All names of locations beyond that were made up.

    Spoiler for So young:

  8. #8
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    acutelatios:
    First of all, thank you for the CnC, I greatly appreciate it and I'll be looking out for weird wordings in the future!

    Azure:
    Spoiler for Fall of Luxmort:


    SJCRPV:
    Spoiler for So Young:

  9. #9
    What's going on? iarentevil's Avatar
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    I will be a part of this FF.
    Keep in mind that I never write in first person, so some of the sentences may be worded strangely.
    It is also extremely dark.
    It's also kind of short.

    Spoiler for How could this happen?:

  10. #10
    Waterworked GuardianTempest's Avatar
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    Oh no there's no way I'll fail my promise. However, like iarentevil, I'm not accustomed to writing in direct first person especially with this kind of premise.

    Spoiler for Goblin Shenanigans:

    This came out very differently from what I had in mind.
    Last edited by GuardianTempest; 02-01-2014 at 03:52 AM.
    v (not my thing but please read) v

    Flash CS6 || R.I.P. Fileize - "I didn't get to steal from pros" || Works slowly due to IRL Problems
    RHG: 親愛な雨 - Shinnai na Ame
    Daydreams and Concepts (Last Major Update: 11/09/13)

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