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Thread: Zayne

  1. #1
    Artist/Animator Arch-Angel's Avatar
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    Zayne

    Holy shit this took me a lot longer than I was hoping it would (I've been busy with a bunch of other stuff). It will probably look like he has a whole lot of powers but I tried to balance them out with a lot of weaknesses as well which was honestly the hard part. When I first created Zayne I never took the time to map out weaknesses for him so this forced me to look for a deeper understanding of my character. Sorry in advance if some of the formatting is retarded. I did this in Wordpad and I always use proper spacing and indents for paragraphs but none of that shit carries over.


    Name:

    Zayne


    Abilities:

    -Manipulation of Light and Dark. Zayne will take the home field advantage in any fight by forcing his enemies to fight in shadows. He can only consume light when he is shape shifted. In open terrain such as a field, he can create an area that does not allow any light inside of it. An example of Zayne consuming light would be if he is in a room lit by torches, he can stop the flames on the torches from emitting light without putting the fires out.

    -Manipulation of Shadows. Zayne can animate his enemies' shadow and turn the tables into a twisted two versus one. He can only keep one shadow minion active at a time, and the shadow will only attack it's host. The shadows thrive off of light, and fade when the host is absent light's embrace. The shadow of the character is what is copied, so if the character is wielding a sword, the shadow will also have a sword. The shadow only copies over physical attributes. If the character’s sword can shoot laser beams, the shadow’s sword cannot. If the character has a strong physique, the shadow will have the same.

    -Crippling Curses. With a few enchanting words, and a thread of string, Zayne can place a curse that will consume whatever comes in contact with his string. Once initiated, the string grows until it completely wraps it's target in a web of veins that completely nullifies magical properties and devours flesh. If Zayne gets a hand on his enemies' weapon, he won't let them have it back unless they're foolish enough to take it back. The veins of dark magic will only transfer from an object to flesh. Wearing thin gloves is still very risky when handling a cursed item, but anything thicker than leather will protect against it. The curse cannot transfer from item to item, or from person to item. If a sword is cursed and a person grabs it by the hilt, the veins will leech onto the person’s skin and quickly meld themselves with the person’s flesh. It only takes a few minutes for the curse to kill an average person as it spreads throughout the body like necrosis. If the curse begins on a person’s hand, it is possible to live if the cursed flesh is removed from the body. The only way to apply a curse is if the string is placed directly onto the target, meaning if Zayne tries to curse a person and they are wearing a full suit of body armor, he would have to place the string on their skin.

    -Transformation. Zayne can transform into a massive panther whose fur depends on his orientation at the time of transformation. He is in complete control when his fur is golden, otherwise it is a dark purple and his actions become extremely erratic. His height on all fours stands right around five feet, which would more than likely intimidate his prey more than his sharp claws or fangs.

    -Orientation. Zayne is possessed by a dark spirit named Victoria that wishes to use his body as a vessel to carry out her agenda. He is also accompanied by an angel named Anna, but her halo and wings are hidden while in the mortal realm. Anna keeps Zayne in check with his dark spirit and can calm him down when he becomes enraged. Victoria thrives off of the use of Zayne's dark magic. The more he uses his spells, the stronger she becomes. Zayne will refuse to use his dark magic unless the situation is dire.

    -Swordsman by Blood. The most useful ability Zayne possesses is his super-natural like skill with a sword. There are only two people that have ever defeated him in a duel with steel, which are Zayne's father and his angelic guardian, Annabeth. In a duel with swords, Zayne cannot be beaten. His opponents will have to rely on more than skill with a blade to overcome him.

    -Ladies Man. Women find themselves naturally attracted to Zayne with very few exceptions. In some cases, ladies will be the ones to come onto Zayne and either offer to take him somewhere quiet or press their advances regardless of who might see. This is both an advantage and disadvantage for female opponents. Zayne will always be gentle to women, outside of the bedroom.

    -Angel Blood. Zayne is half angel, meaning his blood has special properties to it that provide subtle benefits. This is where Zayne's toughness derives from, but he's also highly resistant to most poisons and illnesses. Most importantly, the blood can quickly regenerate his body, making it hard for him to die.


    Weaknesses:

    -Horrible Aim. Zayne is extremely skilled with throwing knives if he crafted them, otherwise he will never hit his target unless lady luck pays him a visit.

    -Orientation. The more sinister Zayne's orientation is, the more ruthless and unforgiving he becomes. When his heart is pure, Zayne only fights defensively in order to establish peace and friendship. He is a much better fighter when his orientation is pure. When his orientation is darker, Zayne is a lot less focused and his actions become even more reckless.

    -Lightweight. Zayne lacks the muscle mass to give him an upperhand against tougher opponents, making beefier fighters more of a threat. Even though his strength makes fighting heavier opponents difficult, his stamina and agility remains unrivaled.

    -Loose cannon. When Zayne is transformed, he slowly loses grip on his spirit which allows Victoria to use him as a host. He will become more powerful in longer match-ups, but the overwhelming power will make him lose focus and make extremely reckless decisions. Zayne also has a habit to focusing on his primary target in this form.

    -Flesh Consuming Magic. While Zayne's curses do negate magic effects as well as binding to and eating flesh, they do not have an impact on non-living creatures or objects. If a curse is placed on a staff, it will not transfer over to any object that touches it unless it is bare skin or thin gloves.

    -Honor the Blade. As a master swordsman, Zayne realizes that it is an unfair advantage over his opponents. The only times Zayne will ever use his sword is when he is challenged to a duel, when he has defeated his opponent and needs to assert his dominance, or as a defense mechanism when he realizes he it outmatched otherwise. Zayne will never take any life with his blade unless it absolutely necessary to create and maintain peace.


    About/Story:

    Zayne is the son of a powerful arch angel and a demon priestess. Taking equally from his father and mother, Zayne had to learn to learn to live among mortals in a world that just couldn't accept him. Blending in wasn't exactly an option either considering he had quite a long tail extruding from his lower back. To make matters worse, his mother was locked away in a prison before he was born, leaving Zayne to be raised mostly by his father.

    The one person that could easily relate to his troubles was forced to be kept so far away, which caused him to act out during his later years.

    School was one of the worst experiences for Zayne. All of the girls naturally found Zayne adorable, especially because of his tail and boyish charm. Unfortunately this made most of the boys around him angry and jealous because they saw Zayne as a threat and would bully him for even thinking about looking at any female. His childhood gave Zayne serious trust issues, moreso when it came to dealing with men rather than women. Not having a mother in his life wasn't as bad as having a father who would constantly challenge Zayne to man up. Sword training was Zayne's most hated after school activity, which caused him to learn about the bar scene at a young age. Sex and alcohol allowed Zayne to deal with bullies, not having a mother, and feeling like he never amounted to anything in the eyes of his father.

    Zayne is currently in a rather peculiar predicament, being that most of his memories have been stolen. Unknowing to him, Zayne has awoken in a world that is not his own, and he is desperately trying to find his way back home. The only clues he has to aid him is a scar on his cheek, a scorpion ear ring, and a colorful feather headdress.


    Personality:

    Zayne is shy, but once he gets to know people he is extremely friendly and outgoing. He will likely be the first to chime in, and he's quick with his snarky remarks. Jokes and fun fuel him, which is why he always tries to make light of any bad situation. His short fuse has gotten him in trouble more times than he would ever admit, but he always tries to patch things up afterward. Zayne will never let anyone touch his tail unless he gives them permission, which is reserved for the people he trusts the most.


    Appearance:

    Zayne stands at around five feet and nine inches, but who's counting, right? His hair is a very dark tint of purple, and rests between his shoulder blades. Depending on how the light shines into his eyes, they can either appear to be a calming sea green or a deep ocean blue. Brown boots, black pants, and a white collared shirt are all that cover his body currently. To add to his good looks, Zayne also has a tail that matches the color of his hair. Zayne is currently traveling unarmed.

    Spoiler for Annabeth:


    Spoiler for Victoria:


    Demo:

    Waking up with a start, the man with a tail released a long cry of agony until the air had escaped his lungs completely and the back of his throat burned. Rolling over onto his hands and knees, the man began to crawl through grass until the tremors in his body caused him to collapse. Lying on the ground, he clawed at the vision before him. A little girl with horns stood frightened in front of a small group of heroes. Why is she crying?.. A few moments passed and the vision blurred out of his sight. The group of people faded from his short term memory, except for the little girl. What is her name?..

    The moonlight kissed the man's body as lied still on the ground for what felt like hours. He found himself thinking about why the sun had yet to burn into the sky. Shivering from the cold, the image of the little horned girl suppressed the thought of dying alone until he fell asleep.

    The man found himself sitting at an elegantly decorated table surrounded by men and women wearing formal attire. Everyone's faces were hidden away behind decorated masks as they danced inside of this massive room. Waiters walked around serving guests drinks from tall, oddly shaped glasses. Before he knew it, someone took the man by the hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor. A woman's welcoming smile and bright blue eyes peered through her mask and into the embrace of the man's sea green eyes. He stared at her quizzically with a warm face, opening his mouth to speak he couldn't manage to form any words. The woman giggled politely at his goofiness before embracing him in a hug. His tail gently glided against her arm and she giggled even more. Their eyes met once more in close embrace, and she whispered to him, "Stay alive and come home to me." Her lips met his cheek, but they felt cold and unusually wet.

    The man with a tail awoke from his dream on his back, face up into the eyes of a massive furry creature. A massive gray wolf stood over him while two wolves observed from the side and two more tugged on his boot and sleeve.

    "Nice kitty?"

    The wolf barred it's teeth at the man and began to growl in order to assert it's dominance as alpha. With all of his strength, the man punched the alpha wolf in the rib cage. The alpha's teeth scraped against the man's flesh as he quickly guarded his neck with his chin. The other wolves began to bite and scratch away at the exposed flesh on the man's right arm. Flailing around like a mad man, he managed to break the nose of a wolf against the heel of his boot. With three wolves biting and ripping away at his arma nd pant leg, the man managed to buckle and roll with alpha until he was on top of it. The man stood up and punted the alpha in the rib cage before it had time to gain a dominant stance. The other three wolves rushed the man in order to defend their master. The alpha whimpered as it limped in a circular motion around the man while the other three attacked. One jumped and clamped it's jaws down around his wrist while the other two ripped away at his pants. With his free hand, the man clawed out the eyes of the wolf on his wrist before using it's eye sockets to slam it to the ground like a bowling ball. The alpha capitalized on it's dinner's position by jumping at his side and using it's weight to knock him back to the ground. One of the wolves released his leg and pounced on top of the man's chest. As the wolf lunged it's head forward to bite away at the man's flesh, he forced his hands around the wolfs jaws. Enduring the teeth sinking into his hands, the man snapped the jaw off of the wolf. The alpha realizing it was losing numbers backed away and let out a long and fearful howl. Back on his feet, the man stood ready for another attack. Blood drenched his clothes as his arm and legs had deep gashes on them. More howling could be heard from the forest around the field that he found himself in, which meant the enemy had called in reinforcements. The alpha stared at it's victim with what looked like a smile on it's face because it knew there was only one option for it's prey.

    The man took off running but the pack of wolves was closing in quickly. The one wolf near the alpha jumped after him and was quickly intercepted and thrown harshly into a tree. It let out a deathly whine as it's back broke upon impact. The alpha didn't bother chasing the man. He wasn't going to get far with two severely injured legs. Each step the man took was met with an unbearable pain trying to convince his mind to give up and greet death in battle. The man rushed through the end of the wood-line and began descending down a steep hill looming over a lake at the bottom. All he had to do was make it to the water, but the wolves were already rushing down the hill after him. It looked like he was going to make it. He knew he would make it. His leg gave out as it made contact with the ground, causing him to slam into the ground in a harsh tumble.

    Slamming into the beach at the bottom, the wolves surrounded him. They all gazed upon their dinner and made noises that sounded like they were snickering at him. The alpha made it's way through his pack with the same sinister expression as before. The man looked into the alpha's eyes with fear as he began to throw his body in the direction of the water. Shortly after he splashed into the water, two wolves clamped down on his pants and began to drag him back onto the beach. They were toying with him now. The alpha approached him and the rest of the pack grew silent. With dark eyes, the alpha peered into the man's eyes and began to growl.

    "Any last words," asked the alpha.

    Before the man could address the fact that he understood an animal, he let out a roar of his own. A black fog enveloped the man's body, transforming him into a massive panther. With a quick motion, the panther rolled the alpha onto it's back and ripped it's throat out with it's massive fangs. Wolves in the pack began to howl in horror at their felled leader. The pack began to disperse quickly as they retreated back into the forest. With blurry vision, the panther fell over onto it's side. The black tendrils quickly escaped the man's body, reverting him back to normal.

    Collapsing onto his stomach, the man gasped for air as he awaited death. He reached up onto his head and pulled the feathery headdress off and looked at it quizzically. It smelled like her, the woman from his dream. He didn't know how he knew what she smelled like, but he could tell it was her scent. Shivering once more from the cold, the man observed a light in the distance. It was getting closer. He had lost too much blood and knew that death was moments away. With blurry vision, the light went in and out of focus as the man felt at peace. He had no fear of death, because he didn't even know who he was. But she did.

    "Oh my God, I can't believe I found you!" The light, a woman, rolled the man over onto his back. Tears rushing down her cheeks, she had a face full of fear. She took his hand in hers as the man began to cough violently.

    Struggling to lift his arm, his trembling hand tried giving the feathery headdress to the woman. "Y-you.... y-you had this in my dream..."

    Looking at the headdress in astonishment, the woman added, "But Zayne, that's not mine."


    Battles:


    ErrorBlender (WIP)


    Points:

    I don't need points.
    Last edited by Arch-Angel; 12-01-2015 at 07:18 PM.

    `~ "What is broken can be reforged" ~`


  2. #2
    (△) Objective: Survive. The Organization's Avatar
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    How does Zane's abilities work, are they themselves magical, celestial, or demonic?
    Btw, his tail should be also in appearance

    Add Six to your hit list too
    Last edited by The Organization; 11-29-2015 at 09:19 PM.

  3. #3
    Artist/Animator Arch-Angel's Avatar
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    They would be demonic. Aside from his curses, all of his abilities that involve him controlling light/dark and shadows are done telepathically. That's why multiple targets work better against him, because it's hard for him to maintain focus of multiple entities. He can use most of his abilities in human form as well, but he has a guilty conscious about it and will not unless his dark spirit is controlling him.

    I- I don't have a hitlist O: ErrorBlender and I are going to be going at it. I'm trying to write a story with this guy and each of my battles are going to integrate that story with them. My demo would be episode one, and my battle with Error will be episode two. The challenge is going to be to have them all link together but keep them somewhat stand alone that way you don't have to have read all of them to know what's going on.

    `~ "What is broken can be reforged" ~`


  4. #4
    Blending City ErrorBlender's Avatar
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    Oh boy here we go then Arch. When shall be the due date?
    Last edited by ErrorBlender; 11-29-2015 at 11:43 PM.



    Spoiler for :

  5. #5
    The Grand, Exalted, Etc. Malacal's Avatar
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    Oh dang, lots of abilities.
    So, for manipulation of light and dark, you don't really describe the power itself. You don't really say what this whole swallowing light deal is. Can he change light levels? Can he create sources of light? Can he bend light? All very important details to consider.
    For the shadow clone thing you got there, you don't say what is copied. Is it just a body? Are physical traits the only thing transferred?
    the string grows until it completely wraps it's target in a web of veins that completely nullifies magical properties
    "Nullifies magical properties." Explain. Like, things attached to the flesh, or all magic that touches it?
    which intimidates his prey more than his sharp claws or fangs.
    I think one of my biggest pet peeves are when profiles measure their future opponents. You have to consider that this person will likely only feature total badasses who aren't intimidated by tigers. But, this is just a pet peeve of mine at this level.
    With a sword in his hand, Zayne is unbeatable.
    but this is where it goes too far. What if someone else is unbeatable by the sword? Does the universe divide both their losses by 0 and end itself? If a character can clearly do a greater feats than others with a blade, then they are the master. Just saying "is best" is a measurement that should be ignored/never should exist.
    -Honor the Blade. As a master swordsman, Zayne realizes that it is an unfair advantage over his opponents. The only times Zayne will ever use his sword is when he is challenged to a duel, when he has defeated his opponent and needs to assert his dominance, or as a defense mechanism when he realizes he it outmatched otherwise. Zayne will never take any life with his blade unless it absolutely necessary to create and maintain peace.
    This doesn't make it better.
    -Ladies Man. Women find themselves naturally attracted to Zayne with very few exceptions. In some cases, ladies will be the ones to come onto Zayne and either offer to take him somewhere quiet or press their advances regardless of who might see.
    ...I think this belongs in personality. Unless of course women decide to jump on his dick in the middle of combat like some really crappy porno. Which, I have this strange doubt that you'd have such a character.. wait, not doubt, hope that you don't have that kind of character.

    The main problem with your character is that you seem to be explaining things you expect us to already know.
    Like, please give us more info, we're ignorant.
    Full Title: The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate and Honorary Spokesman for All Men in General

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  6. #6
    Artist/Animator Arch-Angel's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback. Some areas are too vague, but I was trying to keep it open to more of an individual interpretation. I agree that a more detailed explanation is necessary so I'll try to finish that when I get home. As for theLadies Man "power", it's there because that would give him an advantage against female adversaries. As far as the superior swordsmanship is concerned, I felt it would be proper to infer that he wouldn't be super victorious given special circumstances. If someone else on the same caliber of swordsmanship were to challenge him and they were both at 100% going into it, then it would more than likely end in a draw. So for a battles sake it would challenge the writers to think outside of the box to come up with a way to overcome that roadblock.

    as for the intimidation, I feel you're looking too much into it. He is more intimidating in that form, but obviously not everyone would see him the same.

    And after talking with Error about the way the curses work, I've already planned on rewriting that section more in depth for clarification purposes.

    Unfortunately when hen I was writing all of this and coming up with ideas, I blocked my thought process by assuming all of his opponents would be from the same era. I'm actually excited about my battle with ErrorBlender because it's already forced me to think about how to adapt him in a futuristic environment.

    `~ "What is broken can be reforged" ~`


  7. #7
    Senior Member Urako's Avatar
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    I honestly can't say I like the character. He has unparalleled swordsmanship, shadow manipulation, curses, he can steal enemy weapons and curse them, he can trap enemies in a tangled web that eats through their flesh, and he can transform into a powerful beast, he gets stronger over time, he can regenerate, and he is immune to poison. Plus, his first weakness implies he is able to craft and throw knives with extreme skill.

    Many of his weaknesses are limits to some of these abilities, but they still leave these abilities with tons of power and some aren't restricted at all. See how it might be Overpowered?
    Last edited by Urako; 12-01-2015 at 12:30 PM.
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

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  8. #8
    Artist/Animator Arch-Angel's Avatar
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    I can see how it's easily interpreted as being over powered, but it's really not. I feel as of I balanced him pretty well, and it would honestly depend on the ingenuity of His opponent. Zayne is not a character that a typical warrior can approach in a head on fight because that is where he excels. Defeating him I'm a one on one requires the things that he's not good at, strategy, ranged attacks, and being able to successfully use the environment against him. ErrorBenders character is a hard counter against Zayne, and honestly the only way my character is going to have a fighting chance depends solely on the environment that I place them in.

    I'm not sure if you took notice or anything, but I did not say anything in his appearance section about him having a sword or any knives. The first time I made Zayne, he had both but would never use his sword because he resented it, now I leave it up to whoever I'm battling against to decide how they want to play it.

    I would consider him a melee DPS carry in any video game, which is usually countered by ranged DPS or a bruiser.

    `~ "What is broken can be reforged" ~`


  9. #9
    The Grand, Exalted, Etc. Malacal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arch-Angel View Post
    as for the intimidation, I feel you're looking too much into it. He is more intimidating in that form, but obviously not everyone would see him the same.
    Well, that's just why I don't like the wording. There's a difference between "His height on all fours stands right around five feet, which intimidates his prey more than his sharp claws or fangs" and "His height on all fours stands around five feet, a quite intimidating size." or something like that, I'm really terrible at rewording abilities to make them better.
    Full Title: The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate and Honorary Spokesman for All Men in General

    Everyone wants a certain song to play when they enter the room. Adding it to your signature is the next best thing. Even better is when it's not ten-hour Kirby dubstep remix.
    wRHG: Omega
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then prove it with your words and actions, you git.

  10. #10
    Artist/Animator Arch-Angel's Avatar
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    Went ahead and updated some things about Zayne. I only added to the original to clarify some of his abilities and weaknesses, and I added two sub sections for Annabeth and Victoria to clear some things up with those two in case there might have been any confusion or curiosity. Both of those sub characters are completely optional and should only be included to add depth to the story.

    As always, the changes/additions will be indicated in red.

    Edit: Sorry for the double spoiler. It won't let me remove the second one :/

    Spoiler for Patch Notes:
    Spoiler for Patch Notes:
    Last edited by Arch-Angel; 12-01-2015 at 07:09 PM.

    `~ "What is broken can be reforged" ~`


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