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Thread: The Dice Eyed Gambler

  1. #11
    Sentient Training Dummy buckethead's Avatar
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    ok fair enough
    Do I look like a dummy to you? The answer is yes because I am a training dummy named Fred.

  2. #12
    Sentient Training Dummy buckethead's Avatar
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    double post i know but i have now changed my fighter to the skull walker.
    Do I look like a dummy to you? The answer is yes because I am a training dummy named Fred.

  3. #13
    Of Regret and Longing. Kamiroo Wolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buckethead View Post
    double post i know but i have now changed my fighter to the skull walker.
    Fog- Now I'm not saying that fog itself is a unique mechanic(I'm sure other people have attempted if), but this just feels as though you completely ripped the ability off PitchEnder's Dermot. Skull walker can even teleport within the fog, which makes me wonder what else you've "borrowed".

    Mouths- While this is not a bad ability in itself(he can bite ,people... yay), does it truly belong in a category of its own? Maybe summarize all of his bodily shit in a neat little "anatomy" section?

    Drool- Ugh, I'm so tired. Why did I decide to even review this character's abilities? Anyway, the description of the drool could have easily just been fit under the "Mouths" descriptions. Also, is the drowsiness in the drool really necessary? Why not make it something more believable, like "the raw stench of his saliva alone is enough to make those with weaker stomachs" or something along those lines? Idk, putting people to sleep with globs of spit just sounds stupid and unnecessary to me... regardless of whether or not it's an actual thing in real life.

    Tentacles- These tentacles allow your monster to travel up to 50 mph even when its legs are removed. These tentacles, that are so fragile you can cut through 1-2 of them with a butter knife, are strong enough to crush the trunks of trees and puncture 10 millimeters of solid steel. What? This ability is just confusing. I'm tired. This isn't even a review at this point. I'm blatantly just pointing out stupid shit and bashing your character. I'm both sorry and not sorry at the same time.

    Eyes- Essentially omnivision against any prey that can't poof from existence or teleport out of immediate eyesight. Once you're seen there's nothing you can do but shoot out this beast's eyes, which are protected by some fuck ass tentacles that are bipolar when it comes to durability.

    Tongue- Again, probably could have simply fit under the "Mouth" description. Idk how I feel about this as an ability. You never state the strength of this tongue's pull, so I'm quite honestly just pissed off by it and going to assume this guy can pull whatever he damn pleases.

    Mobility- Sure.

    Taste- Well, fuck. So much for invisibility getting away from the omnivision.

    Fog Manipulation- Nah, just fuck me, right? I don't know how to explain exactly how bothered this ability makes me, but it basically just feels unnecessary. I get the vibe you just decided to tack shit on as you proceeded with this idea.

    Fog Teleportation- Too tired.

    Cacophony of Voices- This is the only ability I somewhat like, and that's only because I don't outright groan when I read it. Still, though, it's pretty fucked. If you're gladdy just so happens to weigh less than 200 pounds, and finally manages to encounter/corner/dismember Skull Walker, all the creature has to do is start screeching like an idiot and its back to start while skull walker teleports to a new location.

    Abilities that are affected by the recipient's willpower are always odd for me. Just what exactly is "strong enough will"? Is there a concrete example you can give me? A hard number? A scale? Anything? I'm sure we could, in ourselves, feel and interpret what a strong enough will might be and I'm certain we all have a good understanding of just what will is, but I just don't think something as broad as that translates well when we're talking limitations and exceptions. I have no idea what the fuck I just said, but I hope you get the idea of what I'm trying to say.

    Skull Assault- Sure, though I'd like to know how fast these skulls are moving, what their conditions(healthy, fresh skulls or brittle and worn?) are, and just how far these skulls can fly.

    Skull whatever- Gross and neat. Useful.

    This just seems like a character you slapped together after taking an L and decided to post without any revision whatsoever as far as abilities go. Every single ability feels just tacked on, one after the other as though you finished one description just to go the next and be like "oh, and it can also do this, this, and this".

    @Someone better than me,

    Please give this man the review and critique he deserves. I don't think I can do it right now. I'll probably try tomorrow after/during school, read up more on the story/character itself, but for now I'm fucking sleeping.
    Last edited by Kamiroo Wolf; 10-17-2017 at 11:42 PM.
    Current wRHG : Baer

    Availability:
    Ready.

  4. #14
    *Bites the Dust FX* PitchEnder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamiroo Wolf
    Fog- Now I'm not saying that fog itself is a unique mechanic(I'm sure other people have attempted if), but this just feels as though you completely ripped the ability off PitchEnder's Dermot. Skull walker can even teleport within the fog, which makes me wonder what else you've "borrowed".
    Now that you mention it, he totally did.

    WRHG:Beth

    Availability:
    Let's Rumble


    I'm a skeleton IRL.


    Quote Originally Posted by Vern View Post
    greasy oil space niggahs.
    Spoiler for Who Do I Fight For?:

    Spoiler for Gif Of My Mascot:


  5. #15
    Sentient Training Dummy buckethead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamiroo Wolf View Post
    Fog- Now I'm not saying that fog itself is a unique mechanic(I'm sure other people have attempted if), but this just feels as though you completely ripped the ability off PitchEnder's Dermot. Skull walker can even teleport within the fog, which makes me wonder what else you've "borrowed".

    Mouths- While this is not a bad ability in itself(he can bite ,people... yay), does it truly belong in a category of its own? Maybe summarize all of his bodily shit in a neat little "anatomy" section?

    Drool- Ugh, I'm so tired. Why did I decide to even review this character's abilities? Anyway, the description of the drool could have easily just been fit under the "Mouths" descriptions. Also, is the drowsiness in the drool really necessary? Why not make it something more believable, like "the raw stench of his saliva alone is enough to make those with weaker stomachs" or something along those lines? Idk, putting people to sleep with globs of spit just sounds stupid and unnecessary to me... regardless of whether or not it's an actual thing in real life.

    Tentacles- These tentacles allow your monster to travel up to 50 mph even when its legs are removed. These tentacles, that are so fragile you can cut through 1-2 of them with a butter knife, are strong enough to crush the trunks of trees and puncture 10 millimeters of solid steel. What? This ability is just confusing. I'm tired. This isn't even a review at this point. I'm blatantly just pointing out stupid shit and bashing your character. I'm both sorry and not sorry at the same time.

    Eyes- Essentially omnivision against any prey that can't poof from existence or teleport out of immediate eyesight. Once you're seen there's nothing you can do but shoot out this beast's eyes, which are protected by some fuck ass tentacles that are bipolar when it comes to durability.

    Tongue- Again, probably could have simply fit under the "Mouth" description. Idk how I feel about this as an ability. You never state the strength of this tongue's pull, so I'm quite honestly just pissed off by it and going to assume this guy can pull whatever he damn pleases.

    Mobility- Sure.

    Taste- Well, fuck. So much for invisibility getting away from the omnivision.

    Fog Manipulation- Nah, just fuck me, right? I don't know how to explain exactly how bothered this ability makes me, but it basically just feels unnecessary. I get the vibe you just decided to tack shit on as you proceeded with this idea.

    Fog Teleportation- Too tired.

    Cacophony of Voices- This is the only ability I somewhat like, and that's only because I don't outright groan when I read it. Still, though, it's pretty fucked. If you're gladdy just so happens to weigh less than 200 pounds, and finally manages to encounter/corner/dismember Skull Walker, all the creature has to do is start screeching like an idiot and its back to start while skull walker teleports to a new location.

    Abilities that are affected by the recipient's willpower are always odd for me. Just what exactly is "strong enough will"? Is there a concrete example you can give me? A hard number? A scale? Anything? I'm sure we could, in ourselves, feel and interpret what a strong enough will might be and I'm certain we all have a good understanding of just what will is, but I just don't think something as broad as that translates well when we're talking limitations and exceptions. I have no idea what the fuck I just said, but I hope you get the idea of what I'm trying to say.

    Skull Assault- Sure, though I'd like to know how fast these skulls are moving, what their conditions(healthy, fresh skulls or brittle and worn?) are, and just how far these skulls can fly.

    Skull whatever- Gross and neat. Useful.

    This just seems like a character you slapped together after taking an L and decided to post without any revision whatsoever as far as abilities go. Every single ability feels just tacked on, one after the other as though you finished one description just to go the next and be like "oh, and it can also do this, this, and this".

    @Someone better than me,

    Please give this man the review and critique he deserves. I don't think I can do it right now. I'll probably try tomorrow after/during school, read up more on the story/character itself, but for now I'm fucking sleeping.
    ok this review in general just made me laugh and yes it did make me think i will be updating some of the things to make them more clear later today. and as for the fog that was originally my idea. aka skull walker v1. see monster mix. as for the fog teleportation. ok i kind of did borrow that
    Do I look like a dummy to you? The answer is yes because I am a training dummy named Fred.

  6. #16
    *Bites the Dust FX* PitchEnder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by buckethead View Post
    ok this review in general just made me laugh and yes it did make me think i will be updating some of the things to make them more clear later today. and as for the fog that was originally my idea. aka skull walker v1. see monster mix. as for the fog teleportation. ok i kind of did borrow that
    I did read your monster within the Monster Mix thread. There is mention of fog within that page, but there seems to be more detail on it within this page.

    Quote Originally Posted by Monster Mix
    Fog- the creature can emit fog from the skulls on its legs and can quickly cover an area of about one hundred feet in a thick fog.
    It seems like you added the 5 feet of visibility portion of the power which is, indeed, from Dermot's description of The Mist. Your character doesn't seem like it really needs the whole fog thing to begin with. It already has plenty of stuff going on with it, such as the immensely specific ability Cacophony of Voices.

    But, on a positive note, it seems like my new wRHG is a direct counter to this one.

    Edit: It's positive for me... I don't know how you benefit from it.
    Last edited by PitchEnder; 10-19-2017 at 10:37 AM.

    WRHG:Beth

    Availability:
    Let's Rumble


    I'm a skeleton IRL.


    Quote Originally Posted by Vern View Post
    greasy oil space niggahs.
    Spoiler for Who Do I Fight For?:

    Spoiler for Gif Of My Mascot:


  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamiroo
    @Someone better than me,

    Please give this man the review and critique he deserves.
    Ok, on it boss.

    Opens abilities section



    Spoiler for Actual critique:

  8. #18
    No ordinary girl... Cassandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kamiroo Wolf
    @Someone better than me,
    Allow me to provide my services, Kamiroo. (I'm not sure if I am better than you; that's up to the other people on the forum. One thing's for sure. I'll do my best. )

    I'll critique things in stages:

    Spoiler for Appearance:


    Your story is okay to me, so we move on to abilities.

    Spoiler for Abilities:


    Spoiler for Weaknesses:


    As for the rest of the rest of the profile, I guess it's okay (although the fact that a creature with human intelligence thinks its weak-hair tentacle things are a defense mechanism is a touch strange, in my opinion).

    That's my CNC. I sincerely hope it has been of help, though I was probably just blabbering the whole time.
    "Where all other art fails to survive; only the ones that fight back will live."

    My wRHG, Samael

  9. #19
    Sentient Training Dummy buckethead's Avatar
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    ok ok enough is enough i will redo my character but i am keeping the skull related abilities and that it can produce fog. look i created this thing with the ability to create fog under CRANK'S MONSTER MIX see post 29 it was created on the 19th of September. i get it people cannot imagine this creature like i do i thought i made its description good enough but apparently i did not. now do i have to f***ing describe every f***ing inch of this creature!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sheesh. aside form that i am also keeping the cacophony of voices ability for one it took me three days to work out the details of that ability alone. and i will rework the story and vern i like your original ideas. ill see what fireflygoddess comes up with for the prototype of my character to see how she is able to deal with it for the monster mix and ill go from there. until such time this thread is under construction. ok are you guys happy?!?!?!?!?!

    edit: i made this before i realized that you cassandra made that post i will use your cnc as a reference because at least you seem to grasp the idea of my er monstrosity at least a little bit. also this post was in reference to verns cnc
    Last edited by buckethead; 10-19-2017 at 01:19 PM.
    Do I look like a dummy to you? The answer is yes because I am a training dummy named Fred.

  10. #20
    No ordinary girl... Cassandra's Avatar
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    The CNC is only here to help you buckethead. I know how to work with monster characters; in fact, my dream is to become a creature/concept designer. I will help you with your character, if you like. We can talk through PM if you don't want this thread to fill up with responses.

    Please. Let me help you.
    "Where all other art fails to survive; only the ones that fight back will live."

    My wRHG, Samael

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