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Thread: 80: 6 [Resting]

  1. #1
    (△) Objective: Survive. The Organization's Avatar
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    80: 6 [Resting]

    accessing the organization database...
    access granted...
    current operation mode: public
    querying: six
    514,000,000 results found
    list? (Y/N)
    querying: agent six
    400,200 results found
    list? (Y/N)
    querying: 80:
    access denied
    querying: 80: 6
    access denied
    executing sudo override...
    user: root
    pass: ***************************
    access granted
    user password: ******************
    use time is now being logged...
    operation mode has now changed to private...
    querying: 80: 6
    file found: operations/80/6.xtn
    warning: xtn handler is missing, rendering in txt form...
    operation failed...
    retrying...
    operation successful
    photoviewer plus detected, attempting to load images...
    this file is read-only...
    executing sudo override...
    user: root
    access denied...
    opening in read-only mode...

    file retrieval successful...
    loading available fonts...
    images loaded...
    formatting................
    operation successful...
    6.xtn
    ================================================== =

    The Organization
    Spoiler for profile: Last Facebook Picture:
    80: 6
    operative status: On a Mission
    objective: Assume Acel's role in wRHG, to locate and bring her back to The Organization HQ.
    mission completion: 3/1/1/0
    last updated: 12/20/15
    Spoiler for Four's List of Extraordinarily Fun wRHG's To Fight:
    Handle: 6
    Full Name: Paige Joshi
    Listed as: Contractor
    Affiliations: The Organization, 80
    status: Asset, Active
    DOB: 12/25/1995
    Age: 19
    Family: Mother: Samantha Joshi (56), Brother: Tirell Joshi (29)
    Ambidextrous
    Gender: Female
    Species: Human (Psychic)

    Physical
    completed by: REDACTED
    Spoiler for 6 physical report:
    Psychology
    completed by: REDACTED
    Spoiler for 6 psychological report:
    Capability
    completed by: REDACTED
    Spoiler for 6 combat report:
    Combat Performance and Analysis
    completed by: REDACTED
    Last updated: 01/01/2015 00:00
    Synopsis: 6's fighting style is purely offensive based on rapid, brute
    force attacks that catch the enemy off-guard, Expel to disable them
    further, and piercing or slash techniques to finish them off. She always
    attacks first.
    Her aim is always to finish fights quickly as she is at a
    heavy disadvantage the longer battles go on or if she is caught off-guard.
    She has little concern for honor and is not above using dirty tactics.
    However, she only uses Fist of Mireu, when brute force isn't enough or
    she is severely under powered even when using Empower.

    In-depth/FAQ (*don't overlook, this makes Six easier to understand)
    completed by: REDACTED
    Spoiler for 6 In-depth Analysis:
    Spoiler for Member of 80:
    Spoiler for Mission: 00 | Eighty-Six:
    Spoiler for Character Inspiration:
    Change log:
    • Updated WLDF ratio
    • Updated "Hitlist"
    • Update Mission Log
    • New Abilities: Reflect and Disaster
    • Elaborated chi conflict weaknesses
    Last edited by The Organization; 02-19-2016 at 12:45 PM.

  2. #2
    Gold Member RichardLongflop's Avatar
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    Holy shit the aura thing is one hell of a toolbox. And all these emotion things are confusing me a little. But Falcone's "sympathy" aspect, I love. Also, perhaps spoiler the demo.

    Hey, why don't you read my thing here: http://forums.stickpage.com/showthre...haracter-stuff it'll help you understand what I mean by a 'toolbox.'


  3. #3
    (△) Objective: Survive. The Organization's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichardLongflop View Post
    Holy shit the aura thing is one hell of a toolbox. And all these emotion things are confusing me a little. But Falcone's "sympathy" aspect, I love. Also, perhaps spoiler the demo.

    Hey, why don't you read my thing here: http://forums.stickpage.com/showthre...haracter-stuff it'll help you understand what I mean by a 'toolbox.'
    The emotional effects of an Aura only affect 6, so her personality changes, and that affects how she fights. I intentionally, made her Auras distinct so that using them all together would be disastrous for her. Life and Entropic Aura cancel out, Heat and Cold Aura cancel out, and Drain and Reflect cancel out as well. I'll explicitly label these other limitations because I see your point, it's pretty imposing on first glance.
    Last edited by The Organization; 11-14-2015 at 11:19 AM.

  4. #4
    Gold Member RichardLongflop's Avatar
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    That doesn't help the fact that you've got a list of shite. If you're met with a situation your power can't deal with, and you instead switch to another, that's like fumbling around in a toolbox for another tool. And you have a list of TEN 'tools'. TEN. It doesn't matter if you only have one out at a time. The fact that you have the potential of goddamn ten different ones ALONGSIDE the sword, it's just messy and uncalled for. Make it simpler.

    A good human character should have:

    A primary ability- the main thing, be it a big gun, a sword that they have skill with, magic, whatever, it's the biggest power they have. This ability should cover a wide range of stuff by itself. There should not be a list with this.

    A seondary ability- this ability is smaller than the main and helps out in areas the main can't do. It compliments the primary power. There should not be a list with this.

    A physical enhancement- such as armour, strength, something that enhances mobility. These can be small lists, depending on what you put in them.


    As it stands, your aura clusterfuck is primary material, and your sword is secondary, even though they don't really compliment each other. The only things good about this character I see are the sword and the physical enhancements.

    You may complain about "omg it worked in the old days" well screw that. I'm about characters that are fun to use for both the writer, the writer's opponent and the reader. If I was going to battle you, or read a battle with you, this character's toolbox nature would annoy and confuse me. It would not be fun. These characters are meant for battles, not novels, keep the loaded characters to OLit. Battles are standalone short stories involving two characters, one shouldn't need to research shit before going into a story. So unless you're willing to have a bad lengthy monologue about her list of powers, do something about it.

    In use of potential, a situation could come up that I believe your character would have some big trouble dealing with, then she could switch to a power that deals with it outta nowhere. You got deus ex machinas in your back pocket, and all you have to do is change her emotion. Anyone can do that! Because we have thoughts and memories and what not. Recall a thing, think of a thing, emotion changed, so that's a rather bullshit excuse for the toolbox.


    Oh, I also have this http://forums.stickpage.com/showthre...wRHG-resource) a list of fictional organisations. Add yours there. Maybe under a newer name since "The Organization" is already taken, and to be honest, no good organization is just gonna be named that.
    Last edited by RichardLongflop; 11-14-2015 at 11:58 AM.


  5. #5
    Blending City ErrorBlender's Avatar
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    On the Organization list, Richard, he's one of the first to create one. Acel, his previous one, is linked directly to his new one through the same Org. So I doubt he needs to follow the org list.



    Spoiler for :

  6. #6
    (△) Objective: Survive. The Organization's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichardLongflop View Post
    Good Points...
    Should implies suggestion. And I agree with some of your suggestions so I change those shortly. I was under the impression that the specificity of the Aura use would prevent the whole "But wait I have this" sort of phenomenon, but I admit it might actually facilitate it.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Urako's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichardLongflop View Post
    That doesn't help the fact that you've got a list of shite. If you're met with a situation your power can't deal with, and you instead switch to another, that's like fumbling around in a toolbox for another tool. And you have a list of TEN 'tools'. TEN. It doesn't matter if you only have one out at a time. The fact that you have the potential of goddamn ten different ones ALONGSIDE the sword, it's just messy and uncalled for. Make it simpler.

    A good human character should have:

    A primary ability- the main thing, be it a big gun, a sword that they have skill with, magic, whatever, it's the biggest power they have. This ability should cover a wide range of stuff by itself. There should not be a list with this.

    A seondary ability- this ability is smaller than the main and helps out in areas the main can't do. It compliments the primary power. There should not be a list with this.

    A physical enhancement- such as armour, strength, something that enhances mobility. These can be small lists, depending on what you put in them.


    As it stands, your aura clusterfuck is primary material, and your sword is secondary, even though they don't really compliment each other. The only things good about this character I see are the sword and the physical enhancements.

    You may complain about "omg it worked in the old days" well screw that. I'm about characters that are fun to use for both the writer, the writer's opponent and the reader. If I was going to battle you, or read a battle with you, this character's toolbox nature would annoy and confuse me. It would not be fun. These characters are meant for battles, not novels, keep the loaded characters to OLit. Battles are standalone short stories involving two characters, one shouldn't need to research shit before going into a story. So unless you're willing to have a bad lengthy monologue about her list of powers, do something about it.

    In use of potential, a situation could come up that I believe your character would have some big trouble dealing with, then she could switch to a power that deals with it outta nowhere. You got deus ex machinas in your back pocket, and all you have to do is change her emotion. Anyone can do that! Because we have thoughts and memories and what not. Recall a thing, think of a thing, emotion changed, so that's a rather bullshit excuse for the toolbox.


    Oh, I also have this http://forums.stickpage.com/showthre...wRHG-resource) a list of fictional organisations. Add yours there. Maybe under a newer name since "The Organization" is already taken, and to be honest, no good organization is just gonna be named that.
    I don't mean to rude, but your wRHG has tons of physical enhancements and dozens of abilities. Amongst others, it has super stealth, strength, summoning an infinite number of hands, near infinite reach, and dream manipulation. I'm assuming it also has pretty decent endurance as well. The toolbox argument just doesn't seem valid. Any of which are either powerful enough to be a main ability, or used with enough potency to be a main ability. (I'm sure you have a counter-argument.)

    That aside, toolbox character's are supposed to access in anything anyways in the fact that they don't excel in any of their skills.

    That said, the character lacks the crucial no mastery weakness I mentioned. The abilities are just as powerful as plentiful.
    Last edited by Urako; 11-14-2015 at 01:13 PM.
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    I am a self-proclaimed wRHG fight instigator.

    Here is my wRHG character Dozer!

  8. #8
    Gold Member RichardLongflop's Avatar
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    My wRHG is a non-human, and he exists as a plot device, a catalyst. You're not meant to fight him, you're meant to use his presence as a way to develop your character. I see you don't realise the point behind my character so I'm gonna message you as to not derail this thread.
    Last edited by RichardLongflop; 11-14-2015 at 01:27 PM.


  9. #9
    Senior Member Urako's Avatar
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    My statement still stands regarding 80: 6. Either make him weaker in all of his abilities, or narrow his scope.

    Side note: The discussion between me and Richard is over and he has a point. He's also right about 80: 6.
    Last edited by Urako; 11-14-2015 at 01:42 PM.
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then paste this into your signature.

    I am a self-proclaimed wRHG fight instigator.

    Here is my wRHG character Dozer!

  10. #10
    (△) Objective: Survive. The Organization's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urako View Post
    My statement still stands regarding 80: 6. Either make him weaker in all of his abilities, or narrow his scope.

    Side note: The discussion between me and Richard is over and he has a point.
    I wasn't actually sure who you were talking to. But I've already removed the Aura abilities that aren't purely offensive, the exception being Detect. Also, Six's lack of mastery, with Sword isn't really a weakness, her sword's purpose is to neutralize other's weapons.

    Also her name is Six, 80 refers to group she's part of.
    Last edited by The Organization; 11-14-2015 at 02:05 PM.

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