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Thread: BIN THIS. NOW.

  1. #11
    Señor MemeBar Alphaeus's Avatar
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    I will wait to see your editing.

    But perhaps I should be more blunt --

    The wRHG community PROBABLY won't accept a char that is more or less GOD. Being MEANT to be a Mary Sue or not doesn't really matter. Here's the way things are going to run, if you insist upon not changing:


    One of the better writers gets around to challenging you because they are bored. They use tons of strategy to wipe the floor with your decimated remains before totally wiping the remembrance of your char from the face of the entire universe and history permanently.


    And then you never get another challenge.


    See, even if your char doesn't break the rules, you've created something that simply isn't fun to write against.

    Don't get me wrong, I understand what you're going for. BUT the mark of a good writer is that they take advice. Whether or not they happen to like their "editors," they take advice, and improve on their work that way. Sure, it might be a bit offending to have someone tell you that you're idea isn't great, but remember that what you think are stones being thrown at you might be diamonds in the rough.

    We love new talent here, and seriously enjoy cultivating it, and would love to welcome you into the community. But two of the seasoned writers here have given you pretty much the same advice, and all the rest are saying the same things behind the scenes. If she doesn't use her full power at all, then it is none-essential, and should be removed. Removing non-essential parts is one of the core foundations of refining writing.


    I do hope you learn and grow here, because I think you have potential. If you don't though, and insist upon using a char that several people have told you is overly edgy and OP (I'm not even going to talk about your clan and its NPC), it is not going to end up giving a good impression of yourself as one that works well with others.


    Please take my comments in the best possible sense, because, again, I seriously just want to help you.

    Best of Wishes, dude.
    My wRHG Char: The Fixer
    "oh fuck yeah, taco, you've been naughty" ~ Vorpal
    "" ~ Index


    ~Arch

    ~^^ENTER THE TUNNEL^^~

  2. #12
    Secret Psychopath Crank's Avatar
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    I think the point of this character, is that (s?)he specifically wants her to be a god. Alex is a sandbox character, someone to screw around and have fun with. She's not an exploration in grit or a haunting gorefest, and going by how I brought up the mass power, Malical brought up the mass power, you brought up the mass power, and she still wants to keep it, I think it's safe to assume that she wants a character like that. We've had overpowered characters before, and a lot of times after a trial stage, they're replaced by new, less overpowered characters, such as what happened with these two, as well as those of us with characters in our past that were up there as well.

    What I'm saying, is that by now, it's clear that she wants this. If you don't want to deal with it, just don't fight her. Let her seek our her battles and if she wants to change as a result, let her. We're here because we like to write, and if Alex makes her want to write, let's give her a shot. No need to make someone who was eager to be here have to curl up into an even tighter ball.

  3. #13
    Vern
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    Alright I think it's about time I throw my two cents here, regardless of how long I've held off of doing that.

    Now I haven't really read through any of the abilities myself ; Others have given me enough of a rundown to get a clue as to how it all works and frankly I don't think I wouldn't tell ya anything others haven't told you yet, so let's just skip that whole part.

    I appreciate what Crank tries to do here but that does not take away that I rather agree with Alphaeus. As Alph said most people here are really just trying to help you out and their advice could pretty much be a diamond in the rough. Now I completely get trying to do your own thing but it's as simple as this ; If you're character is not fun to battle against, nobody will ever bother battling with you.

    Crank says people should get off of your back and I agree with that notion, but he also tries to tell us off by telling us we kinda did same things. While that's true to some degree he forgets to mention that none of us were really told off the way you were. Nobody came in and went like "Yo, your shit's too overpowered for this here debacle yo." He is definitely right about the creative process but battles need to happen before that process takes place, and the way your character is as it is it is unlikely that you will get any sort of battle that isn't a joke. This seems reminiscent Murphy Gray, who was also reluctant to alter his idea in the slightest.

    Right, now that we have had that avenue covered let's move on to the next ; Most of the people here might be a bit too eager to try and fit the new stuff into certain 'boxes' so to speak. I mean this place was in the first instance meant for fun and I still support that idea, even though I myself take it far more seriously than I should. Perhaps others should consider that they might take it a bit too seriously too and that, as Crank said, we all go crazy sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that but you must understand, Druid, that the main reason all these people throw this CnC at ya is because they're eager to see new people and they're concerned that you won't get to see any sort of action because you're so reluctant to make some accommodations.

    Honestly I don't think you should be fighting any of the people commenting on your profile yet since those have been in the game quite longer than you have and we're seeing some other new faces out there and I think you guys should really just go ahead and bash each other. Just take into consideration that your character mustn't only be fun for yourself, it must also be fun for others. It's not about making the most complicated, strongest character, far from. It's about making a fun and interesting one and even the weakest or simplest of characters can sometimes be the most fun to toy around with.

    So just take that all into consideration mkay? We all just want peeps to have fun and they're afraid that you might not get any because nobody would wanna fight your character. I'm not gonna make any judgments because I have my own shit to deal with but perhaps you should listen to some of their advice, even if it's purely for your own sake!

    Right, that's it. I hope it helps and I wish you good luck in the future, regardless of what you decide to do.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Chromium7's Avatar
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    So I've thought about this a good bit, and... well... here's a quick outline showing what a story where Dante and Alex meet would end up looking like, if I were to write it. You seemed to be really keen on having Alex meet one of the members of Nehushtan, so I tried to give you an idea of what that would actually... look like.

    Spoiler for Let's Say:


    Now, let's look at what that would translate to, assuming this were all canon, and not any sort of dream.

    Spoiler for But This Would Mean:


    These are things that can be worked around, addressed, and resolved, but I mean… that's asking us to work around you, while also inviting you to be a part of us and do what we do. We'd need a reason for that. If your character is basically a more annoying God, don’t have them be so stingy with the miracles. Like- if you wanted to do a story with Crank, try and think about what his character would want versus what yours is currently offering. Is he even into vaguely teenage demonlings of “indeterminable age,” or is there more to... whatever is supposedly supposed to be going on? And I mean- truly I dunno what the laws are in New Salem, or what Serif would be into or looking for in this scenario, but like... do you? You might want to find out, or change things, expand on things, just something I guess... because I feel I’ve shown you that while there’s certainly room for a story here, I mean- you’re going to have to focus on making that story work with the people you’re looking to start writing with. If you’re really serious about pursuing this, seek out the writers you’re looking to work with, and let them show you what would need to happen to make it work- if anything could be done for it at all.

    But yeah, I mean... good luck with... whatever, and sorry if I missed anything or called you out on anything you’ve already addressed or were looking to edit. Take care.

  5. #15
    Just as Planned. 969_DoomsDruid_969's Avatar
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    You know, she IS meant to be annoying. I thank you for noticing. But you know how I said she doesn't use her godmode Mary Sue? Welp, there may be the small problem with your first spoiler, that she wouldn't go around being omniscient or omnipotent. Like, she doesn't do that. It was basically designed to be an out. Like as in the thing CASSANDRA does, where her characters come back to life after they "die". She just doesn't, but is undetectable. And unlike gamers, she doesn't reset in order to beat them. If they beat her, she just chills with that. But I'm busy, so can people stop telling me my char. is shit and I should get rid of the things which make Alex Alex until I get around to changing her... slightly.

    I am a quality shitposter(and Magnificent Bastard). You, on the other hand, are a shit-quality poster.

    Spoiler for Writing Motto:

    Spoiler for me:

    (made a wRHG)
    (wants to join a clan for the time being)

  6. #16
    Senior Member Chromium7's Avatar
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    Alright then! But just to make sure I'm not sending off the wrong message here- I wasn't looking to offend. Just curious- interested, even. Again, take care and good luck! : D
    "A crucial plot detail was that his brother wasn't called mountainslayer (be)cause he slayed a mountain, but because they lived on a mountain and their village was slain."
    Vern on Rendmeijer

  7. #17
    Just as Planned. 969_DoomsDruid_969's Avatar
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    Holy shit, I think I'm close to making this a char. people would want to write against. Also, Alex brought a friend (like the good Doctor brought a friend)

    I am a quality shitposter(and Magnificent Bastard). You, on the other hand, are a shit-quality poster.

    Spoiler for Writing Motto:

    Spoiler for me:

    (made a wRHG)
    (wants to join a clan for the time being)

  8. #18
    The Grand, Exalted, Etc. Malacal's Avatar
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    Next time, I would say you put up a post announcing your little rework, do it on the day you post the edits and not four days after or whatever.
    Also, one thing that is looked down upon on characters is a lack of originality and you just went and took the duo idea because you saw Alphaeus do it. :P
    However, I won't condemn you yet, I want to critique this shit yet again since you specifically asked for my opinion (really, it warms my heart.)
    Spoiler for Blah Blah Blah Sans Reference Herp Derp Hotdogs:


    Anything I would have to say after that would be repetitive so, I'm done.

    About you not being likable, I think it's more that you're new and you're acting like it. There is this jaded view from longer-term members regarding newer people, they tend to leave and there presence tends to be uneventful or frustrating until that point. Or maybe that's just my view *shrug*

    I do appreciate the fact you actually listened to CnC even if you didn't really budge that much. Most people in your shoes would leave in a foul mood.
    Full Title: The Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate and Honorary Spokesman for All Men in General

    Everyone wants a certain song to play when they enter the room. Adding it to your signature is the next best thing. Even better is when it's not ten-hour Kirby dubstep remix.
    wRHG: Omega
    I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you're not afraid to admit it then prove it with your words and actions, you git.

  9. #19
    Just as Planned. 969_DoomsDruid_969's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malacal View Post
    Next time, I would say you put up a post announcing your little rework, do it on the day you post the edits and not four days after or whatever.
    Also, one thing that is looked down upon on characters is a lack of originality and you just went and took the duo idea because you saw Alphaeus do it. :P
    However, I won't condemn you yet, I want to critique this shit yet again since you specifically asked for my opinion (really, it warms my heart.)
    Spoiler for Blah Blah Blah Sans Reference Herp Derp Hotdogs:


    Anything I would have to say after that would be repetitive so, I'm done.

    About you not being likable, I think it's more that you're new and you're acting like it. There is this jaded view from longer-term members regarding newer people, they tend to leave and there presence tends to be uneventful or frustrating until that point. Or maybe that's just my view *shrug*

    I do appreciate the fact you actually listened to CnC even if you didn't really budge that much. Most people in your shoes would leave in a foul mood.
    Thanking you very much for the CnC (or should I say CQC XD. No not really)
    So, as for the duo, I've wanted to have 2 chars for a while, but until Alphaeus did it, I had not realised that was possibru.
    (I like the sin thing, its helpful.)
    I- Yeah ok, fair enough.
    II- She is not really a prick. She is a believer in "do whatever the fuck you want" (kinda similar to Manny) whereas Jacques is a strong believer in the system (kinda similar to the Doctor). She just also wants to save humanity, and sentient life in general, but with her own ideals. Jacques is the same. The insanity thing is her "I'm happy all the time, unless you really piss me off. Then I will beat the shit out of you mercilessly all the time! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" thing.
    III- Yeah, no. You read this wrong. Alex does this so she has a challenge. It gets boring if you do everything instantly for 1.2 billion years.
    IV- Yep. True. I'm fixing this. I thought I had already written and edited this bit.
    V- Refer to III. She can but doesn't because it isn't fun.
    VI- Every character in wRHG has either a strong will or a sharp wit (determined or clever.) EVERY ONE. So I think I am justified there.

    I am a quality shitposter(and Magnificent Bastard). You, on the other hand, are a shit-quality poster.

    Spoiler for Writing Motto:

    Spoiler for me:

    (made a wRHG)
    (wants to join a clan for the time being)

  10. #20
    Senior Member Chromium7's Avatar
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    Quick thing though- if you're shooting for a duo, maybe... don't... make them both ridiculously overpowered?

    In the little piece I wrote up about how my character would react to meeting your character, you can see this quite clearly. Dante can do nothing versus Alex, Serif can do nothing vs Alex, and I reckon Dante, Serif, AND another two characters would still struggle against your character. Granted, Dante's supposed to be on the weaker end of the spectrum, if not THE weakest, but what I'm saying is... like we can try and work something out to where you can get the types of stories you claim to be after- but... if you're trying to move it from a solo OP to a duo OP and I'm not just misreading things here- y'know you're not... making this easier, right? If that's the case?
    "A crucial plot detail was that his brother wasn't called mountainslayer (be)cause he slayed a mountain, but because they lived on a mountain and their village was slain."
    Vern on Rendmeijer

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