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Alice, the Descendant

Started by: 969_DoomsDruid_969 | Replies: 10 | Views: 1,879

969_DoomsDruid_969
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Dec 26, 2016 5:01 PM #1471422
Alice, the Descendant
Occupation: Avatar of the Animus
Appearance (Click to Show)

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es pointing diagonally upwards and backward. All the purple changes to green.
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ightly. VERY slightly. All the purple changes to deep blue.
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Combat Capabilities (Click to Show)

The blade form has no such design, however, and just cuts things.
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vere hits are inflicted by these weapons, the more powerful they are against said target. Example(this is an exaggeration, however) They encounter a fighter with extremely thick armor. The wielder whales on the target. The first rain of blows have no effect. Then the second pass through the armor entirely, and hit the fighter with the strength of three wielders, as opposed to one. [/spoiler]
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hly capable and competent with all forms of archaotech, including theory. Note that while she is incredibly competent, she is not infallible, and there may be some types of archaotech that she cannot deal with correctly/does not understand.
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HAND. She still probably won't even in a long, drawn-out organisation battle (see the Master(Codinx ) vs the good Doctor(Alphaeus)). But what it is is simple. A combination of modern technology, futuristic technology, magic, meta-stuff, and some good old reality manipulation. Archaotech is often unique, as it can only perform the same function to the same degree if made by the same person. Certain, uncomplicated designs may be mass-produced by the creator, but that is pretty much it.
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Knowledge of the paranormal: See above for what is essentially the same.
Incredible Combat Experience: Alice's ancestors are older than this universe. By orders of magnitude. Add this to her formidable training by the Order, and Alice is extremely capable with her weapons and in hand to hand combat, as well as being generally experienced and good in combat situations with most weapons. She is not infallible, however, and her training with the order was in a hothouse testing ground enviroment. Her ancestral memories and knowledge, however, are sometimes difficult to remember or use, and may cause Phantom Possession or even a Hallucinatory Flashback.
Healing Hands: If Alice holds your hands, you heal slowly. This may resurrect death, but requires a 23 hour non-stop healing time. This also calms down those in the grip of the BLACK RAGE or whatever super saiyan rage is being induced.
Living Weapon: Thanks to her unique combination of certain races, Alice has extremely good reflexes and aim, and is really fucking good with that stuff. She also does not need to breathe. She is also fairly strong-willed.
Bjarkan: Alice has a 360 degree bubble of awareness, where she can see everything inside it. As well as this, she can also sense intentions. This is quite imprecise (i.e she can tell you have agressive intent, but not in what manner or toward whom. She can tell you are lying, but not in what fashion (might be a lie of omission)). However, she is blind with convential sight. A way to avoid her sight is by making sure your mind is completely blank and that you don't move. Then you are completely invisible to her.
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Ancestral Abilities (Click to Show)

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can be lobbed by a grenade. It has a small amount of impact to it, and creates a flash of light that blinds most things. Takes a short amount of time to generate the dust. Can also create and dispel illusions. Her illusions last roughly 2.5 seconds and can only be administered by touch, but may be broken out of by realising you are in an illusion. Beings without a mind/inorganic entities are immune.
She can also open security by being near it. Laser doors, locks, you name it, it just fucking opens.
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her short bursts of super-speed. Immune to heat and cold. Can mark something, meaning that she can either: cause everything that happened to the object after marking to happen again, OR return them to where they were when marked. Spatio-temporally locked.
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Vazarin: Alice has currently not found out about this.
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Personality (Click to Show)

Non-combat (Click to Show)

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Weaknesses (Click to Show)

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She is also weak to iron. The purer the iron, the more deadly the effect. Also she can’t control the door-unlocking thing, so she may accidentally open doors she doesn’t want open.Alice also doesn’t have control over the illusion, as it will take images from the target’s own brain. This may simply piss the target the fuck off.
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Spoiler (Click to Show)
lightly more reckless, going more on the offensive. Light attacks (as in photons, not weaksauce) will diffuse her physical form, pushing her closer to Incoherence. Although velocity manipulation won’t have much effect on her super speedz, temporal manipulation that involves slowing time will slow her movement.
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Spoiler (Click to Show)
t of an experiment by the Order Felicis, named the “Lazarus Directive”. The Directive was essentially a simple idea: Make 114 super-soldier elite one-(man/woman)-army people, put them in 3-(man/woman)-squads, and have an awesome elite army for their most important members to use at their discretion. They did have a few problems with the genetic manipulation and/or engineering(of course). Such as not causing them to mature quickly. Which meant all 114 of them ended up as children. Alice was #33, and her two squadmates (#32-Ozone, and #34, Washington) became her best and only friends. But a group of dissidents, known as the Animus, working from within the Order, caused the Lazarus Directive to crumble as part of their plan to end the Order, steal their technology and knowledge, and use it to bring prosperity and peace.. 57 of the children survived the attack, and the other 57 perished as collateral. The survivors joined the Animus, as their brainwashing by the hands of the Order was not forgotten.
Over time though, the Animus died due to repeated attacks by the Order, and the 57 split into their 3-(person)-squads. The 32-4 squad, now calling themselves the Kabal, picked up the kin(Adrian and Sleipnir, for those who have not payed attention), and the rest of the crew they are now chilling with. They restarted the Animus, decided to attempt the same things they were doing before, and Alice decided to join the RHG because they are preparing for something and she wanted some practice. Also because the participants interest her, and she thought the more allies the merrier.
N.B: The worst of the Order’s crimes against the Lazarus children are currently repressed. Like, really repressed. Don’t unrepress them. You will not enjoy it.
[/spoiler]
Spoiler (Click to Show)
ched ahead of Alice, its featureless interior seemingly without end. Alice tilted her head, smiled, and glanced to the right of her. A voice boomed from an invisible speaker: "#33- Alice, I would like you to listen to my next instructions. Do I have your attention?"
The girl nodded simply. "Good. There will be a simulation in which you will have to take out an unknown amount of enemy operatives and retrieve a device before it is destroyed . This will be a solid, balanced loci. You have two minutes and thirty seconds to complete this task, and will be expected to review the footage later. Any questions?"
"No, sir."
"Good. You may begin... now."

A blank wall rose ahead of her soundlessly, and came down. The sharp chemical tang of the simulacrum creation process filled Alice's nostrils for a few brief seconds, and she took a moment for analysing the threat. There were three buildings in front, each a squat grey block meant to simulate a short apartment building. The back building was a long, flat bungalow, its wide side facing her. She presumed the device was in there, and was making for the building on her left when a crack sounded and a bullet whistled past her midsection.Noting the trajectory of the bullet, Alice believed the shooter was in the middle building. Making greater speed and breaking into what could be passed as a run, Alice danced from one foot to the other, bullets peppering the floor and walls around her.

Entering the building, Alice could make out three hostages all on different levels with her Bjarkan, all aware of her presence, but not her position. Taking a brief few seconds, the amalgate made use of her Astempran heritage. As the world slowed to a crawl around her, she dashed up the single flight of stairs as a hail of fire came from above. Dodging the fire, she ran into the first hostile and swiftly struck its neck once, twice, three times. The featureless mannequin fell backward in slow motion, and Alice grabbed its weapon. Checking the cartridge as more fire rained down, she found she had ample ammo for this building. Running upward too fast for the eye to make out, #33 found the other two standing next to each other, just as her temporal distortion ran out. Alice frowned as they swiveled toward her, and emptied two shots into both of them with her newly acquired semi-auto Type-4PM rifle.

Her primary objective, however, was still the device, and the amalgamate didn't have much time. Vaulting back down the stairs, Type-4PM still in hand, Alice made all haste toward the last building. Jumping to the right as soon as she exited the box-like dwelling proved fruitful in a large respect: she was at the corner so she had more cover to run with. Although she quickly ran out of wall, the open stretch between buildings was not that long, so she kept running.

The next shots were more controlled, and that was their mistake. The four-round burst that was fired was neatly clustered to hit Alice directly in the side, and would have made an impact similar to buckshot at close range, but with less rending and more puncture. However, Alice was more able to dodge precise fire, even though it was a shot for center of mass. If it had been a headshot or footshot, Alice would have had no trouble. But even so, Alice took three erratic, circular steps, and the bullets passed through empty air. All but one, that is. The last bullet just clipped her, sending the girl tumbling. There had to be a distraction. Alice waited a moment before getting up, knowing the gunmannequins were set to react. During that time, she changed to Fae. As the deep blue brightened to green, Alice held her hand out in front of her, fine, swirling white energy particles coalescing inside it. As her faerie dust reached maximum capacity, the 33rd child sprung forward, flinging her right hand toward the middle tower.


A starburst of rainbow colours exploded out
969_DoomsDruid_969
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Dec 26, 2016 5:08 PM #1471423
will be adding nc personality, then demo.

But come at me bros.

I don't think I fucked up that badly on this one.
Grim
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Dec 26, 2016 5:29 PM #1471425
Protip: You usually have the demo completed before creating the page. If it gets locked temporarily that's on you.
969_DoomsDruid_969
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Dec 26, 2016 6:04 PM #1471429
Almost done on the demo, just have to go out.
Grim
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Dec 26, 2016 6:20 PM #1471430
That's fine. But you said:

Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

Will be done mods plz no ban/lock


So I'm simply letting you know that the potential for the thread to be locked temporarily because of no demo still exists, and that if you're just going out really quick and writing the demo later, it would've been better to just post the thread after you got back.
969_DoomsDruid_969
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Dec 26, 2016 6:45 PM #1471438
I had no intention of making the demo today, but I decided to just now because I thought it'd be cool and less stupid.


Anyone got any feedback?
969_DoomsDruid_969
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Dec 26, 2016 8:46 PM #1471446
did the demo
Draou
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Dec 26, 2016 9:03 PM #1471448
Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

Anyone got any feedback?


Yeah, actually.

First of all, fantastic work on all of this, you obviously wrote a ton of stuff down. Tbh, it's really flavorful and does have a lot of appeal to it.

The biggest issue I've had reading through this was that you don't emphasize on what certain things mean or represent. Prime example being the need for a more in-depth explanation on "archaotech." Seriously, this sounds super cool, but ya gotta at least say what she can do with it and it's somewhat precise limits (maybe even define what it is in the same box, if you don't mind).
Speaking of limits, having "indestructible" weapons isn't not allowed as far as I know, but it takes out some opportunities for your character to be put in a neat situation where they have to deal with their weapons being broken. Honestly, having indestructible weapons is a bit powerful depending on the skill set built around them. I would consider maybe defining a certain limit to their durability, as a tip of the hat to others trying to fight you more than anything else.

Also, I would list her combat strategy in her combat section, not necessarily the personality section. While the two do tie in together somewhat, it makes the flow of the character sheet itself a lot easier to read and take reference from. Definitely define her actual personality more, as right now, it's... uh... kind of a blank slate.

Story-wise, don't worry about being cliche all that much. Sure, some people may mention it a bit, but as long as the core of the character has a good amount that's original (you've got lotsa original ideas in here, no worries man), you're good to go. You do probably want to add more to your current backstory tho, it's a bit bland as it is. I would definitely plan to develop yer story a bunch as you battle new people. Looking forward to where this is going.

Oh yeah, her abilities seem kind of strong... I mean, the only ones that truly bother me are the immunities. Really big emphasis on trying not to use the idea of a "total-immunity" to something, as that can literally remove the possibility of certain people being willing to fight you with a character that is completely countered by yours. By "completely," I mean that quite literally. It's awesome to have a high resistance to something making sense to your character, but personally I don't think it's a good idea to have pure immunity to so many things.

Last note, the power of anime compels you. Again, nice work here man.
Urako

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Dec 26, 2016 9:10 PM #1471449
@Draou: Indestructible weapons are perfectly fine so long as the wielder can be killed. My character has one for example and he was accepted no problem. Also, i'm not sure about immunities. In my opinion as long as a character can die in several other ways and he's not immune to too many things, it should be fine when faced with a creative writer.

I will say you have a lot of good points though.
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Dec 26, 2016 9:13 PM #1471450
Quote from Urako
@Draou: Indestructible weapons are perfectly fine so long as the wielder can be killed. My character has one for example and he was accepted no problem.


That's good to hear man. It was mainly just a recommendation I had, not necessarily something that was really needed. I suppose I just have a light preference against that sort of thing.
969_DoomsDruid_969
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Dec 26, 2016 9:17 PM #1471451
Even so, I will change it. Note it is irrelevant, because she can resummon them. It's complicated because of what they are, but essentially, she will always have them.

Also, she only has one immunity. Extreme temperatures. And that is ONLY in Astempro. I'm still gonna add the other one though (i forgot to add one in fae). The reasoning behind it is she is basically an anti-character. She is designed to (at pretty much all times) say "No, you can't do that" because that is her archetype. Also it wouldn't really make sense for a star being to give a shit about heat or cold, would it?

Personality is WIP, sorry about that. As for the archaotech, I'll define it, but she doesn't have any. Excepting her weps.

And finally, I created this concept WAAAAAAAAAY before I knew about anime. But it still does compel me.

Thanks for the CnC!
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