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Zalgo (Veir) vs Dracustos (GeneratorRexDragon)

Started by: Veir | Replies: 26 | Views: 3,824

Veir
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Jan 20, 2017 10:34 PM #1474047
The monster of The Night Creatures' versus The Knight of Nehushtan! Alien versus Dragon! Sci Fi versus Fantasy!

It was a fun fight! Let's see who wins.

Veir's Part:
-Google Docs-
Alien versus Dragon

Spoiler (Click to Show)
s assaulted Zalgo’s senses. No matter where he went or who he talked to the clicking persisted. It haunted him. He feared being alone, thinking the creature, the Handyman, would find him. He was not prepared.

As soon as the healing process ended, Zalgo began researching. He would find all of his enemies and eliminate them. None could be left for when the Handyman came. Zalgo would be too weakened from his battle with the monster to defend himself from any who wished to harm him. His only option would be to find them all and slaughter them one by one.

He began with the clan he did battle with, Nehushtan. Their “knight”, Dracustos, would be his first victim. He used the database in the new training room to look up the information he needed regarding Dracustos. When he came to their back story, a wicked grin, or the equivalent of one, spread across Zalgo’s face.

Zalgo stood, releasing oil around him to prepare for the long travel. The residents of Rejection would have a guest tonight.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dracustos casually flew through the air, stretching his wings high in the sky. Suddenly, his mind was assaulted by horrendous images. His hometown, Rejection, was burning. The citizens screaming. The alien monster from the clan war, Zalgo, held Iroh by his throat. The old man was bleeding from multiple gashes as the black slime that was Zalgo’s weapon of choice crept around the man’s face, covering his pleading eyes.

Dracustos suddenly regained his senses, he was careening towards the Earth, his body having gone limp during the vision. He brought his wings down hard, fighting the momentum of his fall. His wings strained, struggling to regain his airborne composure. Seconds passed, each one bringing him closer to the dirt. Finally, he succeeded, pulling himself back skyborn.

The alien seemed to be after him, for what reason, Dracustos didn’t know. However, he had a feeling he knew where Zalgo was. He just hoped he could make it before it was too late.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Dracustos arrived in Rejection, the first thing he noticed was how strangely normal everything was. No one seemed to react to his presence, instead staring forward with a dead glare, as if their minds were blank. Gathering his courage, Dracustos went to the center of town. A large central park stretched before him, trees jutted out of the Earth, obscuring his vision as he searched for his opponent. Finally, he found him. The alien creature stood atop what was once the pond in the center of the park. The water now muddled with the dark oil the monster summoned.

A voice whispered in Dracustos’ mind, speaking to him as the alien turned to face him.

“Hello Dracustos.”

Dracustos recognized this as telepathy, and responded with his own psychic abilities.

“What have you done to the people here?” the dragon demanded.

“I have overcome their senses with my affliction. Something I believe you remember from our war previously?” the alien informed him.

He indeed remembered the power of the alien’s affliction, he himself avoiding the mental assault that had overcome several of his allies. He also remembered Zalgo’s power. He teleported his swords to himself, holding them tightly as he brought them up into a fighting stance.

“I see you wish to waste no time. This is good. Time is something I am very short on.” Zalgo stated.

“What could you possibly be hurried by?” Dracustos queried, his body tensing in preparation.

“I’m not quite sure myself. It clicks and chatters in the dark. Some horrible beast tha-” Zalgo never finished his statement as Dracustos channeled energy through the gem on his head and teleported behind the alien, plunging his swords through the top left of Zalgo’s chest.

Dracustos had to flap his wings to prevent himself from falling into the waters beneath him, the oily black goop that was Zalgo’s oil swirling around in the liquid.

“Curious..” the alien spoke. “I did not think your swords would be able to cut me.”

Oil erupted from the pond beneath them, rushing towards the dragon. Dracustos flew upwards, launching himself towards the sky as a writhing pillar of oil chased him. He flew higher, swerving through the air as the oil attempted to catch him. He noted that he was slightly faster than the liquid. He would have to use his speed if he were to win. Suddenly, Zalgo’s voice echoed in his mind.


“There will be no retreat. If you run, I will destroy this town. You must fight.”

Only now did Dracustos realize how far away he was getting. He channeled his energy and teleported back towards the ground, facing towards Zalgo. He was only a few feet away from the earth, but he flew towards the alien. His wings moving him quicker than his legs could hope.

Zalgo raised a wall of oil in front of him, blocking the oncoming draconian. Dracustos’ mouth lit up brightly as he billowed out a ray of white flame. The fire collided with Zalgo’s oil, quickly melting through the wall and evaporating the oil.

“So you can fight. Good.” Zalgo’s features twisted into a strange grin.

The grin quickly disappeared from Zalgo’s face as the fire swerved unnaturally towards him. A pillar of oil rose beneath his feet, pushing him out of harm’s way. The pillar met with the fire, melting swiftly. Zalgo summoned more oil from the pond beneath him, reinforcing his podium as Dracustos turned upwards, flying after him.

Zalgo coated his arms heavily in oil, making a thick reinforcement around his limbs. The oil spiked outwards around his hands in a mace-like fashion. Intrigued by the ferocity of the dragon, Zalgo leapt from his pillar and hurled himself towards Dracustos.

Blue fire exploded from Dracustos’ mouth as he launched himself higher and higher towards the descending alien. The self-proclaimed god brought his armored arms up to block himself from the flames. Which harmlessly washed over the metallic, black substance.

Dracustos made a mental note that the oil seemed resistant to all but the white flame. Zalgo flew further down as Dracustos went further up. At the last possible second before collision, Dracustos teleported behind Zalgo. Suddenly, his sixth sense exploded with warning.

“Predictable.” echoed in Dracustos’ mind, spoken by the alien monster now beneath him.

Oil erupted from the side of the pillar, smashing into Dracustos’ side. His breath escaped him and stars covered his quickly darkening vision. He felt wind gusting around him. He shook his head to clear his mind. He was falling, the blackened water of the pond rushing up to meet him. He heard what sounded like an ocean wave roaring behind him. He flapped his wings hard, fighting against the force of the fall. He broke free of gravity’s hold on him right before hitting the surface. He turned quickly to face the alien only to see that the pillar from before had now erupted into a tide of oil.

Dracustos channeled the gem in his skull once more, teleporting behind the tide of oil as it crashed down on his previous position. His sixth sense blared once more and he ducked just as Zalgo’s reinforced fist lashed out above him.

“I don’t normally indulge in physical combat, but for you, I’ll make an exception.” the alien mocked.

Another punch hurled itself towards Dracustos, but he easily dodged.

“You’re strong Zalgo. Strong but slow.” the draconian retorted.

Another strike lashed out from the alien, followed by a swift dodge from Dracustos and a swipe from his sword. Zalgo’s alien skin tore at the touch of his blade, bleeding black oil from the wound. Another slash to Zalgo’s thigh followed by a dodge to his backside where Zalgo’s ankles were then cut. Danger signals blared from every direction from Dracustos’ sixth sense. Only now did he realize that they had been battling on a platform of oil on top of the waters. He teleported onto mainland as the entire platform erupted upwards in a spinning spiral of oily tendrils.

“Draco?” a familiar voice called out from behind the draconian.

Dracustos turned quickly and saw Iroh standing hunched over, looking towards him. Oil rushed from the pond towards the old man, the alien somewhere still inside the writhing pillar of tendrils in the center.

Dracustos launched himself toward his friend, desperate to save the older man from the alien’s wrath. The oil raced towards him, but Dracustos was faster. He intended to grab him and carry him from danger, but when he collided with him it felt like running into a brick wall. Iroh didn’t budge at all from the collision. Oil dripped from his mouth, eyes and ears.

“Draco.” The oil puppet whispered.

It was then that Dracustos understood. This was indeed the body of his old friend, but he was full of the dark liquid that Zalgo commanded. Iroh gurgled up oil before suddenly exploding in a shower of the oil, launching hardened oil spikes in every direction. Dracustos’ felt several of the spikes impale themselves in his gut as he launched himself backwards. The oil that had been going towards Iroh suddenly slammed itself into Dracustos’ back. As he was launched forward he felt a sharp pain erupt from his back followed by a sickening snap as his left wing broke.

Dracustos’ vision swam again, his mind drifting to all of the memories he had with Iroh.

How many of his friends and loved ones were nothing more than oil puppets? How many had Zalgo killed?

His rage burned as he pulled himself to his feet. He grabbed the oil spikes protruding from his stomach and ripped them free. The small wounds healing relatively quickly. Two long horns grew further from his head as spikes protruded from his spine leading down his tail. His eyes turned to dark slits surrounded by green. The dark markings on his body glowed grimly as his feral side took over.

The spiraling pillar Zalgo was within melted back into the water, returning to the goopy liquid state that his oil was usually in. The alien stood atop a platform of the substance, oil reinforcing portions of his body like a dark armor.

“Show me what your rage is capable of. Show me what a knight of Nehushtan can do.” Zalgo taunted.

Dracostus entered a primal stance, his claws on the ground nearly on all fours. His mouth glowed bright white as he channeled his hottest flames. He launched forward just as he teleported, appearing inches from Zalgo, white fire bursting from his jaws. Zalgo dodged right, the fire catching his left arm at the elbow, melting through the armor and the limb.

Zalgo launched his right fist forward, catching Dracustos’ in the ribs. The dragon felt bones crack from the blow, but persisted through the pain. He turned towards the alien, his claws lashing out, slamming into Zalgo’s side, rending through the metallic armor. The alien stumbled from the power of the attack. Dracustos landed on his feet as spikes erupted from beneath him. He teleported forward, keeping up the aggression. Just as he appeared before the alien, his sixth sense blared once more. Zalgo’s massive armored fist collided with his forehead, the gem within cracking severely.

He reeled back in pain, his senses telling him danger was everywhere. A tendril of oil slammed itself into his back, pushing him back into the alien who followed up with an uppercut to his stomach. His breath escaped him, falling onto the ground. The now one-armed alien grabbed Dracustos by a horn and lifted his head up. Dracustos’ eyes flared defiantly as his mouth erupted with white fire. Zalgo quickly threw the dragon towards the ground, the fire billowing out and melting part of the platform the duo was on, before Zalgo stomped harshly on his head.

The fire ceased almost immediately. Dracustos’ limbs shook as he struggled to stand. The alien monster stood before him. He growled hatefully as he pulled himself up. Zalgo’s large gauntleted hand gripped his throat and lifted him off the ground.

A primal feeling grew within Zalgo, possibly brought on by the ferocity previously demonstrated by the dragon. Zalgo’s jaws spread fully as he let loose a primal roar, the primordial emotion of being a dominant species engulfing Zalgo’s mind. After his roar he threw Dracustos backwards. The draconian landing harshly on his broken wing. Oil surged around him, holding him downwards as more oil covered his mouth, forming a sort of muzzle. The alien stepped over him, looking down into his eyes.

“Your mind is now mine.” Zalgo spoke. His will invading Dracustos’ spirit. Zalgo’s affliction affecting him while he was beaten and broken, too defeated to deny it.

The dragon struggled against his restraints, but the damage and repeated teleportation had taken a toll on his stamina. It did not take long for Zalgo’s mind to overpower his. The oily restraints slithered away from the dragon who laid still on the ground, breathing heavily.

“You will return to Nehushtan. You will pretend that nothing is wrong. You will inform them that you have defeated me. When the time comes, you will join me in slaying them.” The alien whispered to the defeated draconian.

Dracustos did not respond, his body now a subject of Zalgo’s affliction. Instead, after a brief moment he stood and began limping towards the location of Nehushtan’s H.Q.

Zalgo watched the draconian leave the battlefield and stood still in the center of the pond. He turned to the sky, looking up at the gray clouds. He briefly wondered if it would storm before looking down at his severed arm.

This will take quite some time to regenerate in the healing vat. He grimly thought.

Memories of the chittering in the darkness haunted him when he thought about how much time he would spend alone inside the cocoon. He rose a wave of oil beneath himself and rode it back towards the direction of his home.

Home? He mused. He thought of Fraysa. He wondered how the planet looked now. He pushed the thought from his mind and continued the journey back to Night Creature’s headquarters.[/spoiler]

Gen's Part:
-Google Docs-
Dragon versus Alien

[spoiler= Dragon versus Alien]“What you’re afraid of can either cripple you, or make you into the person you want to be. If you can use those fears to shape who you will be and push past them, you can do anything.” - Mark Edward Fischbach
____________

A dramatic bolt of lightning flashed across the clouds, followed by the rumbling crackle of thunder. The halfbreed trekked through the foliage as the light drizzle of rain pattered the ground and trees, his nerves on edge from the alien’s presence. Though Zalgo was quite some distance away, such a dark being set his sixth sense off like an alarm. He paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm the fluttering in his stomach.

Why am I so unsettled? he asked himself, gazing at the ground. He knew the answer; small things from his past that still bothered him, his fears… both things Zalgo can use against him. And with the awakening of this spirit that calls itself Irascor… there’s no telling what illusions will be cast.

Dracustos shook his head. This was no time to sulk over things that were long done and over with.

There is a darkness coming… He paused. Irascor was becoming more active as the days passed.

Indeed there is.

You plan to kill this creature? You’re not even fully healed from your clash with Anubis.

I have to keep my town safe, and he’s a threat to Mankind.
There was a mental scoff.

I still do not understand why you guard them.

And I don’t understand why we’re having this conversation. I’ve made my point clear to you before. Either get over it or shut up.
Irascor fell silent, and Dracustos sighed
969_DoomsDruid_969
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Jan 20, 2017 10:39 PM #1474049
the GLORIOUS VEIR has posted

my "life" is complete
GeneratorRexDragon
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Jan 20, 2017 11:46 PM #1474054
I would like to note I forgot to put the italic command or whatever you call it in mine so most parts that are italicized in the Gdoc are not on here. RIP
Devour
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Jan 21, 2017 8:54 AM #1474083
My thoughts:

Veir's part was pretty enjoyable. I was able to absorb the story, but it lacked a lot of basic descriptions that confused someone who hasn't read Zalgo's entire storyline. It feels like I'm reading the scene in the middle of a book, rather than a standalone story.
On that same note, I would love to have more time spent on the descriptions of stuff in general. Some epic things happen in the fight; giant oil pillars, giant dragons, sweet combat moves... Not much is said to give an image behind the things that are happening, outside of that they happened. Having said descriptions would make it more immersive and quite awesome. I did however love the cool ideas that were presented, the fight choreography, and how Zalgo is basically a badass.

Gen's part was decently better written, but my problem with Veir's part lacking backstory was magnified times a million here. I really had no idea who or what all the names and clans and side characters were, and by the end of the story many of them weren't really that important to the story at all, outside of just being there to make an appearance. The battle was only half of the story, and then the whole 2nd half was exposition that I was kinda lost trying to understand lol :p
The battle itself was pretty good. Despite the writing being a little better, I wasn't surprised with cool ideas like Veir's part did, and the choreography itself could have been better to make it feel like a real fight... I think the deciding factor for me here was this, and that the story didn't give me any knowledge of the characters, or any reason to be invested in them, despite being better written.

My advice for both of you folks would be to remember to write your battles as standalone parts, rather than continuations from the previous story or whichever. My vote went to Veir <3
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Jan 21, 2017 1:42 PM #1474101
Alright. Soo....

I'm in the opposite position from Dvor, even though I completely agree with him.

Veir, your story was just awesome...the kind of epic fight I love Zalgo for. On the flip side, it did have little explanation of what was what. Your writing in and of itself was good, but not your best, I feel. I occasionally had a bit of trouble figuring out what oil was doing what where and how...there was a ton going on. But, overall, it was quite enjoyable.

Gen, you had less of a battle in yours. IMO I'm not 100% sure you did Zalgo full credit for his powers...especially now with his mutation or whatever. Yours was MUCH more about the story.

The thing is, unlike Dvor I know BOTH of the stories behind you guys quite well off the top of my head.

FOR THAT REASON I'm voting for Gen. Because I had no problem understanding everything she was talking about -- to play off Dvor's comment, yeah, it was the middle of the book...but I've been reading that book. All in all it was a touching part of Dracustos' story, and something I loved reading for pleasure.

Gen, IF I didn't know Draco's story, I would have given my vote to Veir like Dvor did. So...maybe next time a bit more explanation, and a little smaller cast of characters.
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Jan 21, 2017 10:41 PM #1474152
So... sadly I'm not normally one to stop by for long enough to have any real huge say on the polls or battle stories- even ones that will more than likely affect me later in some way like this one and fucking... whatever Alph's been up to lately (something about planes?), but occasionally I'll hear catch wind of one and stop by to give my thoughts on it. Glad I did with this one, even if I wind up sounding a bit unenthusiastic about the whole thing. They were good stories, that with how I write, how you two seem to write, and I know Alph's usually looking to write- will more than likely wind up playing into my arc with Dante, which I say every time I do wind up voting on a battle- I do have to take into account, even if that can be construed as bias. If you are asking for my opinion on a story or set of stories, in a manner and timeframe in which I feel can adequately and correctly respond, I will do so. That opinion will of course spring from both my attempt at an objective analysis of both sides, as well as my feelings on the issue, which I will do my best to outline, explain, and keep as separate from my analysis as possible.

So, I guess I should start by saying that in both stories, but particularly in Veir's, I found the execution of Zalgo's arc to be strangely underwhelming. Whereas Devour, and I believe a few others above me, appraised Veir's story for being at least more of a 'standalone' type story, whereas Gen's story was described as reading like the middle of a book- ultimately both stories, as I understand, were intended to ideally wind up in the middle of a particular book. I was fortunate enough to have read the particular story in which Zalgo learns of the existence of the Handyman prior to reading Veir's piece, and found the reasoning for Zalgo's oncoming battle spree, and thus the setup for both battles, rather intriguing. Here you have a powerful alien, who is deathly afraid of an extremely powerful primal earthly force, choosing to wipe the earth of weaker beings that may pose a threat to Zalgo after he attempts to rid the earth of said powerful primal force- the one thing he supposedly truly fears. However, Zalgo's ingenious plan (in Veir's story) to wipe Dracustos off the map- which he could've executed without laying a finger on Draco, takes a back seat to Zalgo punching the shit out of Dracustos and losing an arm in the process- which Zalgo essentially shrugs off, when really- Zalgo should've had to have lost his arm to win, and the fact that something that wasn't Handy just tore off his fucking arm should have probably scared the shit out of him. The backstory and staging are intended to carry weight here, are they not? Yet much of that momentum was lost here, which would be fine if the reasons as to why were a bit more believable. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Zalgo got into a punching match with, and lost an arm to, Dracustos because he wanted to see what "Dracustos' ("your") rage was capable of," and what a "Knight of Nehushtan can do." But why would he?

With Gen's battle, I can't quite make the same complaint, and my temptation is to throw a vote her way- but I'm not really in the right headspace to dish out a full opinion or analysis or any of it currently so I guess we'll have to see as time goes on. Sorry if this isn't what you were hoping to hear from me, but this is about all I've got for you at the moment and we'll have to see from there i gyes lel
Alphaeus
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Jan 26, 2017 1:26 PM #1474602
Well Shit.

Would someone please place a tie-breaker vote here?
Urako

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Jan 26, 2017 3:31 PM #1474612
Quote from Alphaeus
Well Shit.

Would someone please place a tie-breaker vote here?


It appears as though Azure came to the rescue lol.
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Jan 26, 2017 4:17 PM #1474617
Here's my two cents on this, and quite honestly it is two cents, never been a good cncer.

Anywho let's start with what I loved. I think Veir and Generatorrexdragon did great on their stories because I think they achieved what they were looking to achieve in an enjoyable way. I had fun reading both your stories and my list of pros for each of you is much longer than the cons.

The cons were two simple things. As before mentioned, backstory issues. I had enough information from bits and pieces I read to understand the stories given to me but if I didn't have such information I can see where confusion could manifest. The other were simple pebbles, both of you had small errors throughout the story. In my opinion, and I'm aware it's not a shared one, but Veir's constant use of he was jaunting for me. He did this. He did that. It was more halting than a period and drew me out a bit. Gen's problem came more from small grammar and spelling errors.

Now why did I vote for Dracustos? Well it was because I needed a reason to vote so the determining factor was, which battle would I be willing to read again, and it was Generatorrexdragon's. The issue with my logic was that due to Dracusto's having more story elements and such, it had an advantage in that situation. I understand that Veir's is as it is intentionally, it's also a story but it's more like a puzzle piece, a fragment of something bigger that needs to combine together to then become a more powerful story. But as it stands, I enjoyed Gen's as a story more, but that's mainly thanks to prior knowledge.
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Jan 28, 2017 9:35 AM #1474727
I voted for Veir over Gen. Yep, I read them. Well... Mostly.

I read Veir's just fine. Sure, I have to admit, the quality of the writing itself was lesser than Gen's, but it was still good. Painted the picture, got 'er done. And yeah, Gen's story was written well- despite overuse of "..."- but what made me vote for Veir was how I couldn't just go on reading Gen's. Veir's story contained enough to keep me interested at the actual battle in hand. Gen's story felt like a mishmash of characters and storylines that I have no clue about and I just lost interest hard.

So yeah, this vote wasn't because of the Handy pandering. It's because, of the two stories, I managed to read Veir's start to finish and enjoy it. Gen had a solid good start, but eventually it became stuff I couldn't get. It lost its hook for me, didn't keep my attention. Writing quality is one thing, but story quality is another. And since people here are of different places and educations and what not, I'll be picking story quality over writing quality. And being able to read a story start to finish is pretty much the most important thing.

Also, it's all good fun to have your battles in a storyline! But remember, each story should be contained in themselves. You imagine a book series, they reintroduce the characters each book. Who the sod is this Irascor chap? I mean, if your character uses a power, it's perfectly fine not to introduce it. It tends to explain itself in action. But this Irascor sounded like a whole new character, one I don't recall hearing amidst the members of Nehughughdshtan. I feel like you two didn't even give proper introductions to your clanmates, either. Tales can be in a series, but they ought to be self-contained. That's my belief, anyhow.

Anyway, there's the brainramblings.
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Jan 28, 2017 7:12 PM #1474744
........................

Welp. Time for tiebreaking again.
RichardLongflop
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Jan 29, 2017 12:11 AM #1474770
Ties are cool, though. I'd like a tie. That way I imagine both these stories can comfortably remain canon in their own story lines. If I lost a battle I wouldn't carry on as if I won it in my story line.

Edit: S'come to my attention that these canons are gonna intertwine anyway, oh boy. At least it won't end with the other dying.
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Jan 30, 2017 1:09 PM #1474897
@Rich

Yeah, I'm a bit eager for it to NOT be a tie because Zalgo is going to fight Leikani and later Altaer as well. Therefore Dracustos's canon becomes rather important. We will, in fact, only be able to have one story become canon no matter what because there will be at LEAST three intersections between Zalgo and The Coils clan members.


I mean, if it ends as a tie, I'll work with Gen and Veir to figure out which story should become canon. If anything, we/I could create a hybridized new story that could become canon for both, since at that point the individual battles themselves would become irrelevant.
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Jan 30, 2017 1:16 PM #1474898
I heard collab.
Alphaeus
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Jan 30, 2017 1:18 PM #1474900
Quote from Chromium7
I heard collab.


LOL I'll swing onto skype in a moment, have patience.
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