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How to be an asshole: Volume 1

Started by: mistapwnr | Replies: 63 | Views: 11,607

mistapwnr
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Jan 30, 2008 12:38 AM #80723
My dad is always making me help with dinner. So If you have the same case at your house, you can follow this and hopefully it will help.
Equipment:
1:A brain to be able to carry out bluffs and make worthy excuses
2:Something better to do.

Like number 2 says, you always need to have some better to do. For example, if your parent tells you to make supper, simply say something along the lines of: "Oh gee, dad, I'd love to, but i have this HUGE essay due really soon, and man, my teacher said if I fail this I'm probably gonna stay back! And of course, you want me to pass school, right?" Then go on the computer and animate.
Or, "Well I would, but... I gotta take a shit. Later... Oh btw, I'll help you once I'm done" (make sure you take a long time in the bathroom--this works every time but dosn't get you out of work completely. The longer you stay in the bathroom, the less work youhave to do.)
Also, another classic tactic is: since your parents can't remember shit with everything that's going on, simply say (if you have a sibling) "Make (Your Sibling's Name) do it. I did it last night." If your sibling argues, just stick with your lies and your parent might give in. If not, sucks to be you.
You always need something better to do, like homework, cleaning your room, or some other kind of work that your parents can't see you doing, so you don't have to do it. (If you still have to help with dinner, do a good job cuz you'll just have to do more work which takes more time if you do a shitty job.)

BTW these work cuz my dad's making dinner right now and I'm not helping :Happy:
Hope you liked it.
SoulEater
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Jan 30, 2008 1:53 AM #80739
Your parents must be stupid. Mine would say something like, Do your test after your done helping, or take your shit later. These suck.
azam_me91
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Jan 30, 2008 4:39 AM #80753
Give me your dad's email.
Nodd
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Jan 30, 2008 5:03 AM #80757
what are you, 9?

Jesus christ, you must be a real dick if you can't help your family out with dinner.. lazy kids
mistapwnr
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Jan 30, 2008 2:12 PM #80795
I do always help him out (almost always), but i think its unfair to make the kids do the cooking.
2-D
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Jan 30, 2008 4:41 PM #80804
You know, have you ever thought that he's TEACHING you how to cook by making you cook?

You should be ****ing happy to help him, you lazy ass fag.
zwolfsburg
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Jan 30, 2008 4:59 PM #80807
I don't complain about this sort of stuff I just do it. Cooking is fun but I usually don't have to cook. I help with the chores around the house and don't complain. I'd rather do something else but those are things that just have to be done. Your parents can't do everything. Grow up and start acting like a man.
Raffi
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Jan 30, 2008 7:59 PM #80828
Quote from azam_me91
Give me your dad's email.

Yeah, that'll be an amazing idea, giving your parents e-mail.
I'm sure you'll become super respected if you do that. ****ing dumbass
azam_me91
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Feb 1, 2008 3:52 AM #81157
I wasn't serious.
Krob
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Feb 1, 2008 3:57 AM #81158
Fat ass .

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
notmaggot
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Feb 1, 2008 4:40 AM #81166
damn. i thought this thread was really about a revolution. see, my friend is trying to "take down the system."
STICKMAN DAVID
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Feb 1, 2008 8:30 AM #81183
this does not help.when my mom tells me to meke dinner he do it very fast i cant go let the dogs out !she always use microwawe oven.not fair!
notmaggot
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Feb 2, 2008 6:32 AM #81457
what? she puts your dogs in the oven? thats horrible.
STICKMAN DAVID
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Feb 2, 2008 8:25 AM #81479
tranlation:i cant go shit in the bathroom
Nodd
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Feb 2, 2008 8:59 PM #81566
do you not have an anus?
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